You my man are a genius. You have just described the 5 decades of my life - at a time where I am awakening fully to my own condition of Echoism - yet without the term to describe. Thank you for your amazing work!
@@lemsip207 not everyone. I heard this growing up at appropriate times, when I needed to realize that "not everything is about you" (or in this case, "me"). I've said it to my (probably covert narcissist) husband over the last couple of years. At moments when he isn't willing/able to think about anyone else. Or when he assumes something unrelated to him is secretly about him. He NEVER heard it as a child. And it shows!
Wow that is me. My mother was a narcissist and I'm very emphatic. It's taken me a lot of years but finally in my middle aged I'm starting to voice my own needs.
thank God for these videos from you and a select few others here online.... cuz I would probably be dead without this information from ya'll. honest to god, I believe knowledge is power... and me educating myself thru yours and people like you who make these videos... have seriously saved my life.... thank you for empowering me, or helping me empower myself really. I'm trying. thank you.
I find this man very caring and understanding. The fact that he grew up caring for his mother says a lot. I feel that I have been very like this man. I have spent a lot of my life caring for my mother, as she suffers with her mental health. My mum used to be narcissistic. I have spent much of my life being loving to my mother and that has helped her. As long as she takes medication, there is very little narcissism there. I forgive my mum for all her mistakes. I love her and tell her that I love her everyday. Whenever I see her, we always hug and we tell each other that we love each other. I know that I won’t have any regrets when it’s her time to go to heaven in the future, because I always forgave her for the mistakes she made as a parent. At the end of the day, she had a childhood with no love. She told me recently, she didn’t know what love was. Poor thing. We hold each other and look in to each other’s eyes, and smile! Precious moments. When it’s my mums ‘time’ one day, I know that I will probably be tearing up thinking about these precious moments. Parents are precious, even if they have made mistakes, and many mistakes. Acknowledge, that deep down, you love your parent. It will set you free - for anyone who has any bitterness towards their parents. I can tell you, my mum made some really poor decisions, that affected mine and my sisters lives. But I am stronger, my my love is very strong, and my mum is one of the closest people to me in my life! I always have the gift of love to give to my mum! I let it flow freely from my heart to her! I know others who have forgiven their mums too.
Almost same as you, and let me tell ya, I thank GOD that HE gave me a tender heart towards my parents. Yes we've had our screaming matches and such but I was always returning to them. They both now have passed. I finally have gotten through it all, still learning, healing and growing.
Thank you for clarifying this so clearly. It really helps. Have been terrified I was a narcissist for a long time. About to have a serious operation made me realise I'm surrounded by narcs & narc behaviour. You realise who your true friends are...sadly most don't want to know you anymore & disappear. Thanks again. Xx
Hermanus, true friends who don't want to know you anymore & disappear because you have narcs in your life probably aren't true friends either? (Except if they do it to protect their own family, perhaps.) One thing I've learned in my life is that true friendship is very rare.
Similar experiences. I am still overly vigilant about anyone in my life and watch for signs a lot. It can lead to rumination over small things at times thinking they are a red flags. I have lost many friends starting in 2012 though that was prior to the narc encounter.
@@angelinasouren indeed... If you want to know real Friends: * try to fall from power, * try to lose job, career, money, possessions, * try to get seriously sick... ... ...
@@marinvidovic763 True, and something similar goes for being successful. Some people don't like it when you're doing very well because that too can confront them with their own insecurities. Some people will always cheer you on and support you no matter what - with honesty, I mean - and some feel that when you've lost your job or whatever, it is the time to chew you out and let you know how flawed they've always thought you are, lol, or they treat you like you've suddenly turned into a 7-year-old child. You're the exact same person, but you've lost your job. It seems to be mostly financial losses that do that. And yes, a lot of people don't like being ill people because they are considered less "fun". (Same with not having money, not being able to go out etc. or working just about non-stop.)
When I was a little girl, I recall pushing another girl on a swing ( I was about 5). I had a lot of fun hearing her giggle and enjoy herself. At one point, I pushed too high, her foot caught on the ground and she fell out the swing. She began to cry and said she would tell the teacher on me. I began to cry too, not because she was going to tell, but because I had hurt someone when I did not mean to. This feeling of hurting when others hurt evolved into hating to say no, and giving till it cost me dearly. I had a narcissistic dad and a paranoid schizophrenic mother, both of whom had little time for my sister and me. I began to care for and shield my younger sister, who also became narcissistic over time. Still, I felt I had to protect her from a lot of the stuff going on in the household. This pattern repeated into adulthood, and now, I am currently in a marriage with a man who displays some narcissistic tendencies. I have found my voice, however, with music, art, even taking selfies believe it or not! The latter feels like a way of saying "I am here, and I matter" so to speak. Now I am trying to figure out a way to leave where no one is hurt, which of course, leaves me stuck here. I don't want to hurt my hubby even though he has hurt me. Not sure how to break the cycle.
thanks Craig. I think my mom had narc tendencies and I learned to not express my needs/dissapointments. She was the focus of the family so I have learned to always focus on the needs of others. Married someone who wanted me to totally fullfill their needs and have none of my own. Had partner who exploded with rage at any sign of critisism and now I (aged 61) am withdrawing from a 30yr 'friendship' with a narcissist...it's painful and Im trying not to feel like I've been played for a fool. They are sickly sweet charmers who only really care about making sure they look good (community narc) while getting everyone to supply them with no empathy and no self awareness....I'm determined to have healthy relationships now...to the best of my ability...what a hard learning journey
Hi Bernadette. (( hug)) I too am ending a friendship of decades that started out well enough but turned so sour after her partner left. If you look inside you, you will likely find that your core is still whole and perfectly fine, and the sense of betrayal and having been played for a fool will disappear. Also, there probably were good things in that friendship too and it may help to keep them in mind.
I've been there too and agree that it's a very hard learning journey, but we are fortunate to be strong to have made it thus far. We are now better equipped to recognise a potentially abusive new pal very early on, even on a first meeting.
Upon some reflection I can see the development of “echoism” can be a tool to aid in correcting misdiagnosis such as BPD, and Borderline. Thank you for your work. As a person who sought help before this was trendy, I lost a lot of faith in “help”.
My name is Echo. I'm not really sure what is my real voice. I've been told so often not to talk about me it's rude or that I'm self centered for wanting to talk about me that I don't ever speak my thoughts.
Laura Lee tune our instruments of heart and mind into love. Trust it like the parent we were born to become. To listen, to accept, love and nurture the needs and feelings of ours whealth-fully and those of others.. Balance out the bad tones.. Knowing all these were consequences of disconnection.. But we can learn and develop healthy connections
I'm iko echo is visszhang in my tongue so is my initial.. I am determined all these have a great use and purpose and we can lean breathe and feel into becoming it.. Radiating singing it.. If you want to take away a child's attention from something unwanted then you show them something else taking their attention away.. Accept.. Sooth.. Release.. Bring love bring peace
Laura Lee, well you tell them right on back to mind their own business. What comes out of your mouth is for you to decide, not them. If they don't like it then they can just get the hell lost.
I feel you. I don’t know if you can relate but I also feel like a chameleon. In that having free thought that goes against majority is just too painful to even continue the thought and I mold into the voices I am surrounded by.
Talk about ah-ha moments....this was it. I got it!!! This explains everything. Being the keeper of a suicidal mom really set me up for every devastating choice I've ever made, leading to multiple narcissistic partners, children in a terrible situation and endless years of suffering! Time to change some things....
I've had the exact same experience with my mother. I was the only one who took care of her needs. When she was lying in bed I wrote stories, imitated family members in a funny way, played music etc. to entertain her and try to make her happy. I remember sitting at the window when she fell asleep feeling so endlessly sad and lonely, while my father and brother couldn't care less about any of us, just watching tv in the livingroom. I sometimes asked them for help, and they just looked at me and ignored my request. And I was also a very sensitive child and the world, from I was a very small child, seemed overwhelming, but also like something I wanted to explore.
I'm glad you make the distinction of a trait vs a disorder. I'm sure it can become disordered, but to state it as a trait is far easier to digest and perhaps to do some soft changes as adjustment
There's healthy narcissism out there! My bf is a healthy narcissist, though he doesn't like the term! high competitive side and thinking of himself in the work place. He's total work zone and appears slightly apathetic, though he's not! In his personal life, he is kind, caring and compassionate!
I was always sensitive and empathetic. My mom wasn’t a narcissist, she was just inept at knowing what to say when I was feeling bad. She would just look lost and say something like hang in there. My dad was sadistic and hateful though, we were all treated badly, so we felt bad.
Yes I have this. Narcissistic mother . Shaming stepfather who would randomly rage . Suffice to say life hasn’t gone well for me , well I haven’t experienced much of a life , mostly avoiding and avoidance is extremely hard to overcome . It sounds to me like this trait can be correlated with the fearful avoidant attachment style too.
This is 100% me. Working on knowing my feelings and wants. It's a hard process. I have been describing it as the intended wife of the prince from the movie Coming To America..... Prince "what do you like to eat?" Her "whatever you like" Or the main character from Runaway Bride Conforming into whatever your significant other wants you to be. Because if they're happy, I'm happy. If they're depressed?, I'm depressed. I've done it for so many years. I have no clue as to what I feel about things.
This man put my life into perspective. Growing up I never had a voice. Except when my dad picked me up. I think he was to late to fix things tho. Cuz by the age of 5 I just didn't know what I wanted anytime he asked. It was always idk and it's been that way up til recent years. I feel like I'm slowly fixing myself, but I just can't seem to have a clear goal in life at 29 years old. I just echoed my way into welding when my buddy said he was gonna be a welder. I did the same. Whenever I get asked to do something I just didn't feel like doing. I went with it anyways. I know I need help
Thank you for your insight. I have been learning I am somewhat different from others... I mean too sensitive and sometimes too submissive. I realized I'm not just introvert but echoist. I want to find out more about how to deal with my self and my life.
Great information, thank you. I shall look forward to seeing more information on this subject. I have just ordered-'The Narcissist Test' & 'Rethinking Narcissism', and I'm very much looking forward to reading them. Have a good day.
Totally. How did I stumble upon this. I had never really considered it before and yet I think on some level I always knew. But this is me. To a tee. My god.
I have searched for so many years.💔 For the answer to my insanity. 😖I have struggled for so long to try and explain this. 🤖 My wretched soul thanks you doctor. 🙏
You may start by writing down a list of your favorite things. For example, what kind of movies you like, What’s your favorite season. What’s your favorite color. What’s your favorite food. You get me - easy questions - the basics. Rate your answers 1-5 on how easy of difficult they are to answer; 1 being least difficult, etc. Come back after you complete the exercise. “Echoism“ manifested way before Narcissis and narcissism. Its roots reach back to slavery and oppression.
Good question . Fyi. Prayer has helped me . I believe Jesus is "the Word" and this gives me hope to seek his voice in my head instead of people of the world. I've had great gains in finding my truth ..thru Christ
Hi Dr Craig Malkin, This channel is helping me beyond words & cannot thank you enough for the content you provide here. I have recently left my narc partner, yet still trying to understand why certain things happened during our relationship. I have 2 specific topics I would really be keen to hear you talk speak about & hear your opinion. 1. When the narc partner continually excludes you from their social life. Why? 2. When the narc partner withholds sex & continually (for years) rejects your initiations. Why?
Ironically I was much more an echoist as a child and into my early adulthood. I literally remember staying off too the side in everything so I won’t be in the way. I always let everyone else choose everything. I didn’t want too be in social situations. If I could be invisible I would. But I started too become more narcissistic as I started experiencing more trauma and abuse. I bounce back and forth depending on my situation in life.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve only just been seeing the term “echoism” appear in the past month, but this perfectly describes my life growing up, and the struggles I’ve been facing trying to fit in with my new in-laws and move forward. I took the quiz before continuing the video, so hopefully I can take better action for myself moving forward :)
Dont if its echoism...but i often will get an idea in my head to give someone something. its a strong command like "you see that person? i want you to give them this". even if it is something i bought for me like food...i will usually fight it for a second and beg it to change its mind and how unfair that is. but the command remains firm and i just have to do it or the consequence is a none stop "why didnt you do the thing i told you!! it was good and would have made their day!....and it was so easy to do!" because i dont want to talk to them really....can i just give the thing and walk away? also...idk if anybody else's mind work this way. im like a toy. whatever you feed my mind...i will play with it and we could have a conversation about this thing you want to talk about and i will happily play along. i wont judge or even take it serious. might joke around about it accidentally just because i play with it in every angle. its like i dont really use my mind at that point...i go into a trance and kind just talk about the thing you want to talk about. it could be dangerous...i will say anything. even if they ask me my name and they dont need to know that information...my mind is slightly off so my mouth will just answer. i dont want to make the person uncomfortable or mad. i just want them to finish the exchange so i can get out of the trance. sometimes the trance is painful because its such a mirror that i feel like i am not in control.
Okay I might actually have this problem because when you ended the video so quickly I almost panicked not knowing who was going to be filling my head next UA-cam has a category watch later it is addictive to information addicts
I was always told I was 'the squeaky wheel', I was overly sensitive, and if I didnt learn how to make a proper bed and play an instrument...no man would ever want me. That came from both parents and grandparents.
Hi man thanks for the videos. It would make for a more comfortable listening experience if you could equalize the settings when you do videos so the volume stays constant from one video to another. Some like to listen to several videos in one go and would have to adjust the volume levels from one video to the next as one video is quiet and the next very loud at the moment. Thanks 😊
My husband dropping off my son at school every morning: Dad: "Whose got your back?" Son: "You do." Dad: "Who else?" Son: "God" Dad: "Love you, give me a hug"
Let’s say we had been abused as a child! Now what should I do when I wonder who I am and what I want in life ? When it all leads me to wonder what matters at the end when human beings extinct? I feel like all my beliefs have shattered and I’m unable to put the pieces back together as there’s no real answer to my questions! It’s the third time this disintegration is happening but this time I’m so lost! Sometimes I wish I didn’t know.
I was emotionally abused with my mom using bad words about me. Parents need to know how to speak with loving and encouraging words towards their children. My mom and dad had two girls, than I was born the third girl. They tried again to have a boy and we got a baby brother.
I appear to have one trait of echoism. A strong desire to ensure I do not become like one of them EVER !! It can lead to preoccupation with myself to the extent of wondering if I was or am becoming one. This has diminished over time. It is odd in my case as I am very extroverted and outgoing. I have been told I have a strong personality. I have decided that these unpleasant experiences with narcs will likely manifest differently with each individual. How it struck me having an outgoing personality versus someone that is more introverted or shy. I have also concluded that I have many of the traits of an empath which a few years ago I would have never thought was a real thing. I do not even like discussing this yet as I do not want to "appear" special as that would smack of narcissism. I would suspect echoism and empath have some correlation. I have met a few other HSPs and I notice one thing that occurs a lot. We are targets for other people's projections. A friend recently has been accused by her recent ex as being abusive. As far as I know she does a lot for everyone else and in the short time I have known her never said an unkind word to anyone.
One thing that sticks out for me an early memory thst pinpoints it. I had a cold and was coughing through the night and was told to stop coughing. My mother has hypochondriac traits. Only she is allowed to be sick. I try to understand that she can't help it and dont want to hate. How do I learn how to love myself if nobody is willing to show you how. I'm told that I have to do it for myself but that's not how you learn is it. Thank you.
Migraines are horrible things and decent meds are fairly new. Also, women were routinely blamed,degraded and ignored for them. You were a very caring person from a young age but it is sad if the whole burden was on you, or you weren't appreciated for it.
super high in echoism and married to an extremely narcissistic person. For example, he left me for the other woman, and I found out about their adulterous affair through their sex videos. My ex would not apologize, but wanted me to apologize to the other woman for "stealing" their videos. I did not use the videos against them even though they had sex at work, and I could have gotten her fired. My ex works at another job, now.
This video got me pondering about the relationship between echoists and highly sensitive persons (HSPs). To me it seems that there are many overlapping qualities in people who are either echoists or HSPs. People in both of these groups seem to be very emphathetic, for instance. However, I gather that echoism is partly a result of relationship dynamics within a family, whereas SPS (sensory processing sensitivity) - quality in HSPs - is neural or biological in nature, which causes HSPs to perceive world in a more nuanced way and become easily overwhelmed by too intense sensory input. I was wondering If there would be something for us echoists or echoist/HSPs to learn from non-echoist HSPs to develop a healing relationship with ourselves and to deal with difficult people. How would non-echoist HSPs ideally deal with narcissistic people, for instance? Many thanks for the informative channel. :)
You made me so upset of myself yesterday, so that cosmic see me last night. And I don’t need medication. If you wanted me announce of who you are that I will
yeah. I try to help my mom all the time.. but I can't express myself to her. and my dad is covert narc.. I think. she is co dependant. OR WAIT. maybe she is the communal Narcissist. and my dad is weak co dependant who isn't involved... idk
i took the test on the website. i scored extreme narcissism and extreme echoist. with average healthy narcissism? how is this.. possible. i dont disagree. but.. im genuinly curious. its going to sound pretty out there. both sides of the spectrum. balancing out to average healthy narcissism. but we know. extreme echo or extreme narc isnt healthy. so its a paradox.? i think. i was narcissistic first. then went through some traumatic events. verbal abuse. splitting my ego. creating an alter ego. that is my echoism. ego is narc. alter ego echo.. vice versa. constantly fighting between the 2 going from one extreme to the other. i do have traits of both.
Your book and youtube videos discussing echoism have changed my life & so many others, thank you! Curious if you think there are similarities/overlap between echoists & empaths...or are the terms interchangeable? Thank you for your important work!
I have been doing a deep dive into all things about covert narcissism in last year, in trying to understand myself and how I accepted staying in a very unhappy marriage and how I lost my voice....I read often about the narcissist/empathy connection and decided I was an empath.....now I hear this term, echoist, and this rings true too! Can you be both? Help, I'm so confused now.
Mankind creates systems, that often disenfranchise others. God has always expressed that it is His will that we do not forget those that fall through the cracks of these systems we create. The widow the orphan, the disabled, the poor etc. God does not ask women to be martyrs. On the contrary he shows up as a father and as a husband should, when men fail their duty. If the woman places her trust in him. Look up the story of judah's son, who was evil to his wife so God slew him, the brother was also evil to her, so he slew her. They were using the system to put her into a financially desperate place, and inadvertently was intending for it to cause an end to her life. God defended her himself when the men in her life failed her miserably. Look at Sarah, Abrahams wife. He was scared so he basically sold her out to be taken by the king. God went to the king in a dream and said 'why have you taken this man's wife?" The king said "I didn't know they were married, he lied to me.' God said I know you did this unintentionally, that's why I made no occasion for you to consummate your marriage, or else there would be hell to pay-(in so many words) Abraham was a coward and put her in harms way. I was so disappointed when I read this but I saw God come through for her as her father or as a husband should. Humanity is flawed and ppl will let you down because of it. Especially if you are in a more vulnerable economic or social position, but God is close to those, who the world disregards. So even when you see godly men mistreating the charge they have, to serve their communities or even their own families, do not take that for a representation of God. Let him represent himself, get to know him and I promise you, HE will never let you down
에코니즘- 중간 나르시즘- 매우 낮음 익스트림 나르시즘- 매우낮음 결론 자존감 낮음 사실 뭐... ㅋㅋㅋ 지금도 나르시즘(가족)하고 살다보니깐 방어기재가 있어서 한번 씩 뻔뻔하게 행동하는게 있긴한데 (에코니즘? 코디팬던트의 약점인듯 주변환경에 동화되는것) 자존감이 좀 낮긴함 ㅠㅠ 나르시스트인지 소시오패스인지 그런 놈들 몇번 거치다보니 관심가지고 찾아보는데 이 테스트 결과 정말 맞는듯 한번씩 왜사나... 이룬것도 없고... 죽어버릴까 라는 우울감도 왔었는데 암튼 빨리 집사서 집을 벗어나야지 그나마 다행인게 지금 투자한 채굴기가 대박치고 있어서 10억 되면 인생이 좀 바뀌려나... 희망을 품고 살고 있음 현재 5억되가고 있으니 이런거보면 자가성찰이니 자기희생이니 우울감 배제니 사람을 많이 만나라느니 이런 것보다 일단 돈이 최고 인듯, 돈이 있으면 자존감이 낮을래야 낮을 수가 없는듯 간혹가다 연애인들이 자살하는거 보면 돈은 있는데 미움을 많이 받으니 미치는거 같은데 돈 있고 주변에 쓰레기들 플라이 몽키들 소패 나시들만 없어도 행복한 삶이 될거 같음 거기에 좋은 와이프와 자식들로 이루어진 가족을 만들면 더욱 좋을듯. 우울감오니깐 괜히 주변사람만 힘들게 하는데 채굴기 대박치고나서 많이 나아짐... 희망이 보여서일까... ㅠㅠ 앞으로는 더더욱 공부해서 이런류의 인간은 최대한 피하고 거리감을 둬야 겠음 어른들말 틀린거 하나 없는듯 친구 잘 사귀어라. 친구따라 강남간다고 좀 오바지만. 왜 좋은 학군의 지역등을 비싸더라도 들어갈려고 찾는지 알꺼같음. 5만원권에 지폐에 있는 심사임당이 왜 그랬는지도... 역시 어릴때 생각한 거처럼 사람은 새 하얀 도화지고 누구를 만나냐에 따라서 무슨 색이 입혀질지는 자신 스스로가 정하는거 같음 (가족이면 스스로 정하기 힘들겠지만.) 가화만사성 확실히 유년기때 가족이 화목해야 성인이 되서도 옮바르게 생각하고 우울증등 쉽게 빠지지않고 자존감과 자신감이 많은걸 주변을 보면 느낌 (싸이코패스는 천성이니 피맛 보면 결국 안되겠지만...) 테스트 하고 나서 비록 나는 불우한 유년기를 보냈지만. 극복하여서 자식에게 폭력 쓰지않고 잘 키워서 나시 소패 만들지 않고 주변 사람들 잘 만날수 있도록 케어해주고 경제 공부 시켜서 앞날을 대비 할 수 있는 아이로 잘 키워야겠다는 생각에 잠김. 고대 로마의 철학자가(이름기억안남) 진정한 성인은 45살이다 라는 말이 갑자기 생각 나는데 확실히 30대 중반이지만 아직도 결혼 못 한게 오히려 잘된거 같음 덜 성숙한 자아를 가지고 가정을 꾸리기란 마치 어거지로 병역의무 군대 생활 하는거 같다는 생각이 듬 이런 테스트와 지식을 바탕으로 좋은 여성을 찾아 결혼하고 그 좋은 사람의 에너지와 나의 에너지를 동화 시켜 좀더 나음 삶을 살아야겠다는 생각이듬 여러분 소패 나시 조심하세요. 친구라고 불렀던 소패 나시새끼는 바람피다 걸려서 이혼 당했습니다. 그 녀석 와이프 진짜 천사 같은 느낌이였는데. 뻔뻔한놈 에효... 친구도 조심하세요 괜히 옆에 둬봐야 자존감만 떨어지고 인생이 불안해집니다. 가족도 최대한 방어하고 될 수 있다면 떨어지세요. 천륜이다 뭐다 이런거 다 개 소리입니다. 정도가 심하면 과감하게 결정하세요. 저는 아버지랑 연 끓었습니다. 인생을 사는데 주변 사람만 잘 둬도 성공한 인생이 되는거 같습니다. 그리고 그들은 끼리끼리 잘 만납니다. 부부든 친구든 동료든 성공한 사람들 이야기 들어보면 끼리끼리 뭉쳐 사기쳐서 대박치거나 (결과는 대부분 안좋음) 좋은 사람들과 함께 성공하드라구요. 이걸 보는 소패 나시가 있다면 좀 고치세요. 천성적인 싸이코패스가 아니잖아요? 어릴때 불우한 기억이 경험이 당신을 그랬게 만들었든 유전이든 뭐든 왜 주변 사람을 힘들게 합니까? 정말 사회 악입니다. 뉴스에 보면 데이트폭행, 스토커, 폭력, 성폭력 및 한번 씩 올라오는 무개념 놈들 죄다 소패 나시입니다. 20-25명중 한명 꼴로 있으니 안 그렇겠습니까? 주변만 잘~ 정리해도 인생이 달라집니다. 화이팅.!
That explains a lot, and um, I dont know what to do. I suppose this another start at getting better. At least life takes forever, so I have time. Thank you for the info.
Oh, Jan-Martin, do not let them bring you down so much, and stay hopeful and look into your core to see that you have still all your old strength inside you (and how it flows into your art). You and I may have been through something similar? Because I so recognize the feeling. The powerlessness, the need to escape without the need for life to end but for the hell to end. It did eventually start to leave again, that feeling.
Hi, I had purchased your book and scored 34ND, 29HN, 29EN and dont know quite what that means. My partner of 2.5 years scored me 30, 32, 17 and I was shocked how much lower in extreme narcissism she scored me. Any idea on what these mean would help. Ill be finished the book soon. Thanks for the resource!
Dr. Malkin, What happens when two people with echoism are in a marriage? What challenges does this present? Can one person turn narcissistic? Thank you.
Poor bloke, the fish was this big. Caught lying within 30 seconds must be a record. Skype call!!! Ha Ha, FAIL... He was playing with his little yellow car and thought he stashed it out of view. Mate, that's the 4th little yellow car I've spotted in creators videos today, there's no escaping me, this is what I do. Well three 3 & a burnt orange colour one. 2 at least. 2 minimum.
You my man are a genius. You have just described the 5 decades of my life - at a time where I am awakening fully to my own condition of Echoism - yet without the term to describe. Thank you for your amazing work!
Same but 3 decades for me
Echoism is a brilliant concept that ties up a lot of loose ends when trying to understand narcissism.
"the world doesn't revolve around you" my mother's favorite saying along with "I'm not going to hold your hand". Or my favorite "respect your elders".
Ick. Same here.
Yeap. Mine too.
My mum said the same thing, and so did my ex.
Always said by those who think and expect the world to revolve around them.
@@lemsip207 not everyone. I heard this growing up at appropriate times, when I needed to realize that "not everything is about you" (or in this case, "me"). I've said it to my (probably covert narcissist) husband over the last couple of years. At moments when he isn't willing/able to think about anyone else. Or when he assumes something unrelated to him is secretly about him. He NEVER heard it as a child. And it shows!
Wow that is me. My mother was a narcissist and I'm very emphatic. It's taken me a lot of years but finally in my middle aged I'm starting to voice my own needs.
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Amazing, you've absolutely got this.
thank God for these videos from you and a select few others here online.... cuz I would probably be dead without this information from ya'll.
honest to god, I believe knowledge is power... and me educating myself thru yours and people like you who make these videos...
have seriously saved my life.... thank you for empowering me, or helping me empower myself really.
I'm trying.
thank you.
Straight facts !! I luv him & a few others who talk abt narcissism ! Spot on 4 this Dr . !!!
I find this man very caring and understanding. The fact that he grew up caring for his mother says a lot. I feel that I have been very like this man. I have spent a lot of my life caring for my mother, as she suffers with her mental health. My mum used to be narcissistic. I have spent much of my life being loving to my mother and that has helped her. As long as she takes medication, there is very little narcissism there. I forgive my mum for all her mistakes. I love her and tell her that I love her everyday. Whenever I see her, we always hug and we tell each other that we love each other. I know that I won’t have any regrets when it’s her time to go to heaven in the future, because I always forgave her for the mistakes she made as a parent. At the end of the day, she had a childhood with no love. She told me recently, she didn’t know what love was. Poor thing. We hold each other and look in to each other’s eyes, and smile! Precious moments. When it’s my mums ‘time’ one day, I know that I will probably be tearing up thinking about these precious moments. Parents are precious, even if they have made mistakes, and many mistakes. Acknowledge, that deep down, you love your parent. It will set you free - for anyone who has any bitterness towards their parents. I can tell you, my mum made some really poor decisions, that affected mine and my sisters lives. But I am stronger, my my love is very strong, and my mum is one of the closest people to me in my life! I always have the gift of love to give to my mum! I let it flow freely from my heart to her! I know others who have forgiven their mums too.
Almost same as you, and let me tell ya, I thank GOD that HE gave me a tender heart towards my parents. Yes we've had our screaming matches and such but I was always returning to them. They both now have passed. I finally have gotten through it all, still learning, healing and growing.
Thank you for clarifying this so clearly. It really helps. Have been terrified I was a narcissist for a long time.
About to have a serious operation made me realise I'm surrounded by narcs & narc behaviour. You realise who your true friends are...sadly most don't want to know you anymore & disappear.
Thanks again. Xx
so glad you found it helpful!
Hermanus, true friends who don't want to know you anymore & disappear because you have narcs in your life probably aren't true friends either? (Except if they do it to protect their own family, perhaps.) One thing I've learned in my life is that true friendship is very rare.
Similar experiences. I am still overly vigilant about anyone in my life and watch for signs a lot. It can lead to rumination over small things at times thinking they are a red flags. I have lost many friends starting in 2012 though that was prior to the narc encounter.
@@angelinasouren indeed...
If you want to know real Friends:
* try to fall from power,
* try to lose job, career, money, possessions,
* try to get seriously sick...
... ...
@@marinvidovic763 True, and something similar goes for being successful. Some people don't like it when you're doing very well because that too can confront them with their own insecurities. Some people will always cheer you on and support you no matter what - with honesty, I mean - and some feel that when you've lost your job or whatever, it is the time to chew you out and let you know how flawed they've always thought you are, lol, or they treat you like you've suddenly turned into a 7-year-old child. You're the exact same person, but you've lost your job. It seems to be mostly financial losses that do that. And yes, a lot of people don't like being ill people because they are considered less "fun". (Same with not having money, not being able to go out etc. or working just about non-stop.)
When I was a little girl, I recall pushing another girl on a swing ( I was about 5). I had a lot of fun hearing her giggle and enjoy herself. At one point, I pushed too high, her foot caught on the ground and she fell out the swing. She began to cry and said she would tell the teacher on me. I began to cry too, not because she was going to tell, but because I had hurt someone when I did not mean to. This feeling of hurting when others hurt evolved into hating to say no, and giving till it cost me dearly. I had a narcissistic dad and a paranoid schizophrenic mother, both of whom had little time for my sister and me. I began to care for and shield my younger sister, who also became narcissistic over time. Still, I felt I had to protect her from a lot of the stuff going on in the household. This pattern repeated into adulthood, and now, I am currently in a marriage with a man who displays some narcissistic tendencies. I have found my voice, however, with music, art, even taking selfies believe it or not! The latter feels like a way of saying "I am here, and I matter" so to speak. Now I am trying to figure out a way to leave where no one is hurt, which of course, leaves me stuck here. I don't want to hurt my hubby even though he has hurt me. Not sure how to break the cycle.
Listening to this is my life’s story.
thanks Craig. I think my mom had narc tendencies and I learned to not express my needs/dissapointments. She was the focus of the family so I have learned to always focus on the needs of others. Married someone who wanted me to totally fullfill their needs and have none of my own. Had partner who exploded with rage at any sign of critisism and now I (aged 61) am withdrawing from a 30yr 'friendship' with a narcissist...it's painful and Im trying not to feel like I've been played for a fool. They are sickly sweet charmers who only really care about making sure they look good (community narc) while getting everyone to supply them with no empathy and no self awareness....I'm determined to have healthy relationships now...to the best of my ability...what a hard learning journey
Hi Bernadette. (( hug)) I too am ending a friendship of decades that started out well enough but turned so sour after her partner left. If you look inside you, you will likely find that your core is still whole and perfectly fine, and the sense of betrayal and having been played for a fool will disappear. Also, there probably were good things in that friendship too and it may help to keep them in mind.
I've been there too and agree that it's a very hard learning journey, but we are fortunate to be strong to have made it thus far. We are now better equipped to recognise a potentially abusive new pal very early on, even on a first meeting.
Omg... lol..that's what's wrong with me. I never have heard of this. Explains everything.
Wow, thanks for that explanation. Boundaries were the first step in coming out of my fear-driven echoism. And saying No to abusive behavior.
I am learning to say goodbye to friends that put little effort into the friendship.
Upon some reflection I can see the development of “echoism” can be a tool to aid in correcting misdiagnosis such as BPD, and Borderline. Thank you for your work. As a person who sought help before this was trendy, I lost a lot of faith in “help”.
My name is Echo. I'm not really sure what is my real voice. I've been told so often not to talk about me it's rude or that I'm self centered for wanting to talk about me that I don't ever speak my thoughts.
Laura Lee tune our instruments of heart and mind into love. Trust it like the parent we were born to become. To listen, to accept, love and nurture the needs and feelings of ours whealth-fully and those of others.. Balance out the bad tones.. Knowing all these were consequences of disconnection.. But we can learn and develop healthy connections
They say
We need to ensure there is a strong underlying dialogue that is protecting supportive and on our side
I'm iko echo is visszhang in my tongue so is my initial.. I am determined all these have a great use and purpose and we can lean breathe and feel into becoming it.. Radiating singing it.. If you want to take away a child's attention from something unwanted then you show them something else taking their attention away.. Accept.. Sooth.. Release.. Bring love bring peace
Laura Lee, well you tell them right on back to mind their own business. What comes out of your mouth is for you to decide, not them. If they don't like it then they can just get the hell lost.
I feel you. I don’t know if you can relate but I also feel like a chameleon. In that having free thought that goes against majority is just too painful to even continue the thought and I mold into the voices I am surrounded by.
Talk about ah-ha moments....this was it. I got it!!! This explains everything. Being the keeper of a suicidal mom really set me up for every devastating choice I've ever made, leading to multiple narcissistic partners, children in a terrible situation and endless years of suffering! Time to change some things....
Thank you so much for your knowledge Dr. Malkin. You are helping a lot of people. Keep going!
I've had the exact same experience with my mother. I was the only one who took care of her needs. When she was lying in bed I wrote stories, imitated family members in a funny way, played music etc. to entertain her and try to make her happy. I remember sitting at the window when she fell asleep feeling so endlessly sad and lonely, while my father and brother couldn't care less about any of us, just watching tv in the livingroom. I sometimes asked them for help, and they just looked at me and ignored my request. And I was also a very sensitive child and the world, from I was a very small child, seemed overwhelming, but also like something I wanted to explore.
I'm glad you make the distinction of a trait vs a disorder. I'm sure it can become disordered, but to state it as a trait is far easier to digest and perhaps to do some soft changes as adjustment
There's healthy narcissism out there! My bf is a healthy narcissist, though he doesn't like the term! high competitive side and thinking of himself in the work place. He's total work zone and appears slightly apathetic, though he's not! In his personal life, he is kind, caring and compassionate!
OMG this is it. I'm not crazy!
i know the feel!!
I was always sensitive and empathetic. My mom wasn’t a narcissist, she was just inept at knowing what to say when I was feeling bad. She would just look lost and say something like hang in there. My dad was sadistic and hateful though, we were all treated badly, so we felt bad.
I’m so sorry :-(
Yes I have this. Narcissistic mother . Shaming stepfather who would randomly rage . Suffice to say life hasn’t gone well for me , well I haven’t experienced much of a life , mostly avoiding and avoidance is extremely hard to overcome .
It sounds to me like this trait can be correlated with the fearful avoidant attachment style too.
Wow, I may have to learn more about this... I might be subject to this having grown up with NPDs. Never even heard of this before.
This is 100% me. Working on knowing my feelings and wants. It's a hard process.
I have been describing it as the intended wife of the prince from the movie Coming To America.....
Prince "what do you like to eat?"
Her "whatever you like"
Or the main character from Runaway Bride
Conforming into whatever your significant other wants you to be. Because if they're happy, I'm happy.
If they're depressed?, I'm depressed.
I've done it for so many years. I have no clue as to what I feel about things.
This man put my life into perspective. Growing up I never had a voice. Except when my dad picked me up. I think he was to late to fix things tho. Cuz by the age of 5 I just didn't know what I wanted anytime he asked. It was always idk and it's been that way up til recent years. I feel like I'm slowly fixing myself, but I just can't seem to have a clear goal in life at 29 years old. I just echoed my way into welding when my buddy said he was gonna be a welder. I did the same. Whenever I get asked to do something I just didn't feel like doing. I went with it anyways. I know I need help
The sound of your voice with the microphone is so nice that works also as ASMR. 😄🥰
this is amazing and very in depth! I highly resonate with this video
Thank you for your insight. I have been learning I am somewhat different from others... I mean too sensitive and sometimes too submissive. I realized I'm not just introvert but echoist. I want to find out more about how to deal with my self and my life.
Hello Kim, hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
Great information, thank you. I shall look forward to seeing more information on this subject.
I have just ordered-'The Narcissist Test' & 'Rethinking Narcissism', and I'm very much looking forward to reading them.
Have a good day.
As I was thinking of this I'm reminded of a song, "what about me" sounds like an angry echoist who has had enough,
ua-cam.com/video/YfOqI03HFj8/v-deo.html
Totally. How did I stumble upon this. I had never really considered it before and yet I think on some level I always knew. But this is me. To a tee. My god.
We were not allowed a voice growing up in a narcissist family. Comes so easy to me; am I missing something?
Hello Caro, hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world
I have searched for so many years.💔 For the answer to my insanity. 😖I have struggled for so long to try and explain this. 🤖 My wretched soul thanks you doctor. 🙏
Great! Thanks! Sneak in more!
will do!
Highly important dynamic and issue to explore and identify! Thank you for posting this video. Best to you and yours.
Great video. Thank you!
glad you liked it!
@6:43 Once did pageants as a kid, I now have horrible stage fright
Thanks😊
Do you have a video on correcting problems of echoism. Possibly tools for those who struggle with these traits.
You may start by writing down a list of your favorite things. For example, what kind of movies you like, What’s your favorite season. What’s your favorite color. What’s your favorite food. You get me - easy questions - the basics. Rate your answers 1-5 on how easy of difficult they are to answer; 1 being least difficult, etc. Come back after you complete the exercise. “Echoism“ manifested way before Narcissis and narcissism. Its roots reach back to slavery and oppression.
@@josephsworldoftaekwondo5059 Echoists probably don't have a favorite season or color, they chose randomly or invent preferences to cut short.
@@xrayban2 Or just adjust to any given situation!
Good question . Fyi. Prayer has helped me . I believe Jesus is "the Word" and this gives me hope to seek his voice in my head instead of people of the world. I've had great gains in finding my truth ..thru Christ
Hi Dr Craig Malkin, This channel is helping me beyond words & cannot thank you enough for the content you provide here. I have recently left my narc partner, yet still trying to understand why certain things happened during our relationship. I have 2 specific topics I would really be keen to hear you talk speak about & hear your opinion. 1. When the narc partner continually excludes you from their social life. Why? 2. When the narc partner withholds sex & continually (for years) rejects your initiations. Why?
Super helpful information -- learned things I didn't even realize about myself and upbringing, looking forward to reading your books soon!
Thank you ..! I can relate.. I'm thankful I have found my voice.
Bought the book yesterday and enjoying it so far.
Thank you
Rekomenduję terapię. Nie chcę dalej ranić siebie - tak wg mnie wygłądałby zdrowy schemat myślenia.
6:18 my depressed mother and FATHER never get a big head. My father's quote.
Ironically I was much more an echoist as a child and into my early adulthood. I literally remember staying off too the side in everything so I won’t be in the way. I always let everyone else choose everything. I didn’t want too be in social situations. If I could be invisible I would. But I started too become more narcissistic as I started experiencing more trauma and abuse. I bounce back and forth depending on my situation in life.
How can I help my 7 year old girl, who's already showing extreme sensitivity to other people's feelings? I'm a single mom and I am an echoists.
Thank you so much for this video. I’ve only just been seeing the term “echoism” appear in the past month, but this perfectly describes my life growing up, and the struggles I’ve been facing trying to fit in with my new in-laws and move forward. I took the quiz before continuing the video, so hopefully I can take better action for myself moving forward :)
Hello 👋 hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
You read my personality 100% ☆☆♡☆☆ i want to know now what steps to take next! Thank you
BLESSINGS
Dont if its echoism...but i often will get an idea in my head to give someone something. its a strong command like "you see that person? i want you to give them this". even if it is something i bought for me like food...i will usually fight it for a second and beg it to change its mind and how unfair that is. but the command remains firm and i just have to do it or the consequence is a none stop "why didnt you do the thing i told you!! it was good and would have made their day!....and it was so easy to do!"
because i dont want to talk to them really....can i just give the thing and walk away?
also...idk if anybody else's mind work this way. im like a toy. whatever you feed my mind...i will play with it and we could have a conversation about this thing you want to talk about and i will happily play along. i wont judge or even take it serious. might joke around about it accidentally just because i play with it in every angle. its like i dont really use my mind at that point...i go into a trance and kind just talk about the thing you want to talk about. it could be dangerous...i will say anything. even if they ask me my name and they dont need to know that information...my mind is slightly off so my mouth will just answer. i dont want to make the person uncomfortable or mad. i just want them to finish the exchange so i can get out of the trance. sometimes the trance is painful because its such a mirror that i feel like i am not in control.
Okay I might actually have this problem because when you ended the video so quickly I almost panicked not knowing who was going to be filling my head next
UA-cam has a category
watch later
it is addictive to information addicts
For my parents loved me so much
I was always told I was 'the squeaky wheel', I was overly sensitive, and if I didnt learn how to make a proper bed and play an instrument...no man would ever want me. That came from both parents and grandparents.
Hi man thanks for the videos. It would make for a more comfortable listening experience if you could equalize the settings when you do videos so the volume stays constant from one video to another. Some like to listen to several videos in one go and would have to adjust the volume levels from one video to the next as one video is quiet and the next very loud at the moment. Thanks 😊
My husband dropping off my son at school every morning:
Dad: "Whose got your back?"
Son: "You do."
Dad: "Who else?"
Son: "God"
Dad: "Love you, give me a hug"
Hello Karen, hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
Let’s say we had been abused as a child! Now what should I do when I wonder who I am and what I want in life ? When it all leads me to wonder what matters at the end when human beings extinct? I feel like all my beliefs have shattered and I’m unable to put the pieces back together as there’s no real answer to my questions! It’s the third time this disintegration is happening but this time I’m so lost! Sometimes I wish I didn’t know.
I was emotionally abused with my mom using bad words about me. Parents need to know how to speak with loving and encouraging words towards their children. My mom and dad had two girls, than I was born the third girl. They tried again to have a boy and we got a baby brother.
My mom, dad, and oldest sister are gone, and I miss them all so much. 😢
I have to look into this more. I tested in the red zone almost at the very end, for echoism.
I appear to have one trait of echoism. A strong desire to ensure I do not become like one of them EVER !! It can lead to preoccupation with myself to the extent of wondering if I was or am becoming one. This has diminished over time. It is odd in my case as I am very extroverted and outgoing. I have been told I have a strong personality. I have decided that these unpleasant experiences with narcs will likely manifest differently with each individual. How it struck me having an outgoing personality versus someone that is more introverted or shy. I have also concluded that I have many of the traits of an empath which a few years ago I would have never thought was a real thing. I do not even like discussing this yet as I do not want to "appear" special as that would smack of narcissism. I would suspect echoism and empath have some correlation.
I have met a few other HSPs and I notice one thing that occurs a lot. We are targets for other people's projections. A friend recently has been accused by her recent ex as being abusive. As far as I know she does a lot for everyone else and in the short time I have known her never said an unkind word to anyone.
One thing that sticks out for me an early memory thst pinpoints it. I had a cold and was coughing through the night and was told to stop coughing. My mother has hypochondriac traits. Only she is allowed to be sick. I try to understand that she can't help it and dont want to hate. How do I learn how to love myself if nobody is willing to show you how. I'm told that I have to do it for myself but that's not how you learn is it. Thank you.
My head hurts. My iq is 140+ and I'm diagnosed with asd. I have really terrible thoughts even on antidepressants.
Migraines are horrible things and decent meds are fairly new. Also, women were routinely blamed,degraded and ignored for them. You were a very caring person from a young age but it is sad if the whole burden was on you, or you weren't appreciated for it.
super high in echoism and married to an extremely narcissistic person. For example, he left me for the other woman, and I found out about their adulterous affair through their sex videos. My ex would not apologize, but wanted me to apologize to the other woman for "stealing" their videos. I did not use the videos against them even though they had sex at work, and I could have gotten her fired. My ex works at another job, now.
How did you manage to thrive and Break Free from the control ?
4:00 discusses codependent behavior
This video got me pondering about the relationship between echoists and highly sensitive persons (HSPs). To me it seems that there are many overlapping qualities in people who are either echoists or HSPs. People in both of these groups seem to be very emphathetic, for instance. However, I gather that echoism is partly a result of relationship dynamics within a family, whereas SPS (sensory processing sensitivity) - quality in HSPs - is neural or biological in nature, which causes HSPs to perceive world in a more nuanced way and become easily overwhelmed by too intense sensory input. I was wondering If there would be something for us echoists or echoist/HSPs to learn from non-echoist HSPs to develop a healing relationship with ourselves and to deal with difficult people. How would non-echoist HSPs ideally deal with narcissistic people, for instance? Many thanks for the informative channel. :)
Thanks
You made me so upset of myself yesterday, so that cosmic see me last night. And I don’t need medication. If you wanted me announce of who you are that I will
Omg.... this is me. 😣 I Don't even need the test. I know.... And I'll address this Friday in therapy.
Hello 👋 hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
yeah. I try to help my mom all the time.. but I can't express myself to her. and my dad is covert narc.. I think. she is co dependant.
OR WAIT. maybe she is the communal Narcissist. and my dad is weak co dependant who isn't involved... idk
i took the test on the website.
i scored extreme narcissism and extreme echoist. with average healthy narcissism? how is this.. possible.
i dont disagree. but.. im genuinly curious.
its going to sound pretty out there.
both sides of the spectrum.
balancing out to average healthy narcissism.
but we know. extreme echo or extreme narc isnt healthy. so its a paradox.?
i think. i was narcissistic first.
then went through some traumatic events. verbal abuse. splitting my ego.
creating an alter ego. that is my echoism.
ego is narc. alter ego echo.. vice versa.
constantly fighting between the 2 going from one extreme to the other.
i do have traits of both.
This should have more views, js
💯
Your book and youtube videos discussing echoism have changed my life & so many others, thank you! Curious if you think there are similarities/overlap between echoists & empaths...or are the terms interchangeable? Thank you for your important work!
I have been doing a deep dive into all things about covert narcissism in last year, in trying to understand myself and how I accepted staying in a very unhappy marriage and how I lost my voice....I read often about the narcissist/empathy connection and decided I was an empath.....now I hear this term, echoist, and this rings true too! Can you be both? Help, I'm so confused now.
Hello Susie, hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
Religious beliefs use to teach women to be martyrs. That's one problem
Mankind creates systems, that often disenfranchise others. God has always expressed that it is His will that we do not forget those that fall through the cracks of these systems we create. The widow the orphan, the disabled, the poor etc. God does not ask women to be martyrs. On the contrary he shows up as a father and as a husband should, when men fail their duty. If the woman places her trust in him. Look up the story of judah's son, who was evil to his wife so God slew him, the brother was also evil to her, so he slew her. They were using the system to put her into a financially desperate place, and inadvertently was intending for it to cause an end to her life. God defended her himself when the men in her life failed her miserably.
Look at Sarah, Abrahams wife. He was scared so he basically sold her out to be taken by the king. God went to the king in a dream and said 'why have you taken this man's wife?" The king said "I didn't know they were married, he lied to me.' God said I know you did this unintentionally, that's why I made no occasion for you to consummate your marriage, or else there would be hell to pay-(in so many words) Abraham was a coward and put her in harms way. I was so disappointed when I read this but I saw God come through for her as her father or as a husband should.
Humanity is flawed and ppl will let you down because of it. Especially if you are in a more vulnerable economic or social position, but God is close to those, who the world disregards. So even when you see godly men mistreating the charge they have, to serve their communities or even their own families, do not take that for a representation of God. Let him represent himself, get to know him and I promise you, HE will never let you down
에코니즘- 중간
나르시즘- 매우 낮음
익스트림 나르시즘- 매우낮음
결론 자존감 낮음
사실 뭐... ㅋㅋㅋ
지금도 나르시즘(가족)하고 살다보니깐
방어기재가 있어서 한번 씩 뻔뻔하게 행동하는게 있긴한데
(에코니즘? 코디팬던트의 약점인듯 주변환경에 동화되는것)
자존감이 좀 낮긴함 ㅠㅠ
나르시스트인지 소시오패스인지 그런 놈들 몇번 거치다보니
관심가지고 찾아보는데 이 테스트 결과 정말 맞는듯
한번씩 왜사나... 이룬것도 없고... 죽어버릴까 라는 우울감도 왔었는데
암튼 빨리 집사서 집을 벗어나야지 그나마 다행인게
지금 투자한 채굴기가 대박치고 있어서 10억 되면 인생이 좀 바뀌려나...
희망을 품고 살고 있음 현재 5억되가고 있으니
이런거보면 자가성찰이니 자기희생이니 우울감 배제니 사람을 많이 만나라느니
이런 것보다 일단 돈이 최고 인듯, 돈이 있으면 자존감이 낮을래야 낮을 수가 없는듯
간혹가다 연애인들이 자살하는거 보면 돈은 있는데 미움을 많이 받으니 미치는거 같은데
돈 있고 주변에 쓰레기들 플라이 몽키들 소패 나시들만 없어도 행복한 삶이 될거 같음
거기에 좋은 와이프와 자식들로 이루어진 가족을 만들면 더욱 좋을듯.
우울감오니깐 괜히 주변사람만 힘들게 하는데
채굴기 대박치고나서 많이 나아짐... 희망이 보여서일까... ㅠㅠ
앞으로는 더더욱 공부해서 이런류의 인간은 최대한 피하고 거리감을 둬야 겠음
어른들말 틀린거 하나 없는듯
친구 잘 사귀어라.
친구따라 강남간다고
좀 오바지만.
왜 좋은 학군의 지역등을 비싸더라도 들어갈려고 찾는지 알꺼같음.
5만원권에 지폐에 있는 심사임당이 왜 그랬는지도...
역시 어릴때 생각한 거처럼 사람은 새 하얀 도화지고
누구를 만나냐에 따라서 무슨 색이 입혀질지는 자신 스스로가 정하는거 같음
(가족이면 스스로 정하기 힘들겠지만.)
가화만사성
확실히 유년기때 가족이 화목해야 성인이 되서도 옮바르게 생각하고
우울증등 쉽게 빠지지않고 자존감과 자신감이 많은걸 주변을 보면 느낌
(싸이코패스는 천성이니 피맛 보면 결국 안되겠지만...)
테스트 하고 나서 비록 나는 불우한 유년기를 보냈지만.
극복하여서 자식에게 폭력 쓰지않고 잘 키워서 나시 소패 만들지 않고
주변 사람들 잘 만날수 있도록 케어해주고 경제 공부 시켜서 앞날을 대비 할 수 있는 아이로
잘 키워야겠다는 생각에 잠김.
고대 로마의 철학자가(이름기억안남) 진정한 성인은 45살이다 라는 말이 갑자기 생각 나는데
확실히 30대 중반이지만 아직도 결혼 못 한게 오히려 잘된거 같음 덜 성숙한 자아를 가지고
가정을 꾸리기란 마치 어거지로 병역의무 군대 생활 하는거 같다는 생각이 듬
이런 테스트와 지식을 바탕으로 좋은 여성을 찾아 결혼하고
그 좋은 사람의 에너지와 나의 에너지를 동화 시켜 좀더 나음 삶을 살아야겠다는 생각이듬
여러분 소패 나시 조심하세요.
친구라고 불렀던 소패 나시새끼는 바람피다 걸려서 이혼 당했습니다.
그 녀석 와이프 진짜 천사 같은 느낌이였는데. 뻔뻔한놈 에효...
친구도 조심하세요 괜히 옆에 둬봐야 자존감만 떨어지고 인생이 불안해집니다.
가족도 최대한 방어하고 될 수 있다면 떨어지세요.
천륜이다 뭐다 이런거 다 개 소리입니다. 정도가 심하면 과감하게 결정하세요.
저는 아버지랑 연 끓었습니다.
인생을 사는데 주변 사람만 잘 둬도 성공한 인생이 되는거 같습니다.
그리고 그들은 끼리끼리 잘 만납니다. 부부든 친구든 동료든
성공한 사람들 이야기 들어보면 끼리끼리 뭉쳐 사기쳐서 대박치거나 (결과는 대부분 안좋음)
좋은 사람들과 함께 성공하드라구요.
이걸 보는 소패 나시가 있다면 좀 고치세요.
천성적인 싸이코패스가 아니잖아요?
어릴때 불우한 기억이 경험이 당신을 그랬게 만들었든 유전이든 뭐든
왜 주변 사람을 힘들게 합니까?
정말 사회 악입니다.
뉴스에 보면 데이트폭행, 스토커, 폭력, 성폭력 및 한번 씩 올라오는 무개념 놈들 죄다 소패 나시입니다.
20-25명중 한명 꼴로 있으니 안 그렇겠습니까?
주변만 잘~ 정리해도 인생이 달라집니다. 화이팅.!
한국인을 찾긴 찾았는데...
can an echo... get so fed up with being a non-person .... that they become an Narcissist to break away from being used?
You think so. I can write a book of you
That explains a lot, and um, I dont know what to do. I suppose this another start at getting better. At least life takes forever, so I have time. Thank you for the info.
Hello Claudette, hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
I know children who take up very little space to please their narcissist father
Hello I just subscribed, What would be your opinion for the best careers for echoist?
I dont have any other needs than to get old and die and get over with this hell
Oh, Jan-Martin, do not let them bring you down so much, and stay hopeful and look into your core to see that you have still all your old strength inside you (and how it flows into your art). You and I may have been through something similar? Because I so recognize the feeling. The powerlessness, the need to escape without the need for life to end but for the hell to end. It did eventually start to leave again, that feeling.
Shit I’m an echo. I had two narcissist neglectful parents
I wonder what you think about Sam VAKNIN work and videos.
Hi, I had purchased your book and scored 34ND, 29HN, 29EN and dont know quite what that means. My partner of 2.5 years scored me 30, 32, 17 and I was shocked how much lower in extreme narcissism she scored me. Any idea on what these mean would help.
Ill be finished the book soon. Thanks for the resource!
This freakin clicks. Thanks.
Dr. Malkin,
What happens when two people with echoism are in a marriage? What challenges does this present?
Can one person turn narcissistic?
Thank you.
It’s me talking about me
Hello...Thanks for the info.
Do you still have your website? I keep getting a message that it can't be found...?
I’m knowing you all, cosmic told me all.
Hello Elsa, hope you’re safe over there?
How are you doing today, hope you’re having a wonderful day over there, I hope this year brings happiness and prosperity all over the world 🌎
I knowing a lot from last night if my dreams.
Would a large family be a factor also in developing echoism, or create the environment where it can be developed
interesting...I am in extreme echosim and extreme narcissism...which is actually correct...
Did anyone else have trouble hating the person that you inherited money from?
Yes, even Rich parents are human.
You don’t wanted me to do so.
This sounds an awful lot like codependency that you are describing as echoism. How do you see it as different?
Are you taking new clients?
Are you conducting research?
Poor bloke, the fish was this big.
Caught lying within 30 seconds must be a record.
Skype call!!! Ha Ha, FAIL...
He was playing with his little yellow car and thought he stashed it out of view.
Mate, that's the 4th little yellow car I've spotted in creators videos today, there's no escaping me, this is what I do. Well three 3 & a burnt orange colour one. 2 at least. 2 minimum.
Explain your statement please.