I am not a sociopath and I trained myself not to turn the other cheek - I still have an ego - I would rather give people back exactly what they’ve done
I turned the other cheek and hate myself for it. Since I cant go back in time, I simply no longer feel the need to "say something nice or nothing at all". I say what happened and I hate him for it. Because thats the truth.
@@evonne315 I got my revenge but honestly it wasn’t to the degree that I was fucked over. Doesn’t feel nearly enough. Don’t be hard on yourself, hopefully they’re feeling some guilt over what they did to you, if not now, eventually. They will probably be one of those people that don’t take dying very well because they’re riddled with so many regrets.
@kanika Batra I believe the universe has it's way of punishing people. I believe that if you step in and decide to be the one to punish them, it could just fire back at you and karma will turn around and punish you for that as well. I don't have any proof of this. This is just what I personally believe.
You’re so right. Why does it always fall on the person that was wronged to be the bigger person and take someone’s disrespect? Nope. You get back what you put out.
i agree, my entire family looks down on me for choosing to never speak to my dad again and for treating him AS HE DESERVES... besides my mom, lil sis, niece they all understand but like my dads entire fam and some of my moms even say hes doing so great now, hes a good christian! hes been sober for 8 yrs!... how can those factors justify or make me forgive and forget all the physical, mental and sexual abuse he did to my mom, my older sis and i? just because my older sisters a meth head ( thanks to him doing meth with her when she was like 15 or 16 so shed get weird with him ) and shes so fked in the head she still in her 30s wants the approval and love of him... im not the same way.. i just chalk it up to well, never speaking to him or his family again. didnt go to my grandpas funeral since he defended my dad in court then later cried to me saying hes sorry he had to back his son.... no, fk off go to h*ll grandpa... plus my grandpa my dad said did the stuff he tried/did to me was because his dad did it to him, i kinda believe him cause in middle school my grandpa picked me up idk my mom was busy prob and my grandpa kept looking at the little girlls, said " look at the tits on that one " and these were middle school little girls..... he asked me if i was getting any and said if he were my age hed be sleeping with them all... so i dont doubt he did shit to my dad... why would i go pretend to care he died? plus the idiot didnt get vaccined, my grandma and his friend did, one didnt. after a fishing trip the 4 of em got covid, the 2 who werent vaccinated died, my grandma and the other friend did fine with covid so like idk i love everyone until they are bad, then idc lol and he was bad too so idc... meanwhile the family hates on me more than damn child predators.... so fk them too lol sorry for the rant... it just really irritates me especially during holidays when my family try to guilt trip me " grandma would really love to see you for xmas " well maybe grandma should have not defended her freak son and husband their entire life and threaten to call the cops on me multiple times as a kid when i would have emotional breakdowns and panic attacks and didnt want to see my dad... threatened that id never see my mom again and call DHS and lie about my mom and i to take away my legibility and told cops and the judge id say/do whatever it took to help my mom... knowing damn well i was incapable of lying and acting for one and 2nt knowing her son was a freak just like her husband and her daughter who got knocked up by her own cousin and had to abort it. sorry i dont care to see her before she died of alztimers ffs! lol... even my bestfriend says ill regret not forgiving them and having a dad... im like.... you have no idea the hell my childhood and early adulthood was man lol how can people say shit like that to victims? idc if he was on drugs, i am an alcoholic and ive never done anything drunk or tipsy that i wouldnt do sober... thats a bs excuse i know 100% like if u drink and do anything bad, its just cause the alcohol gave you the confidence to do something you already wanted to do or say. same with drugss imo unless its full psychosis and even then i think if i was in psychosis id still be the same morally lol *end of rant* lmao my therapist and i talk about this stuff idk why i gotta share online x.x but i am an over sharer xD
THIS. I will NOT be held to the accountability that we let my abusers get off without. You punish the perp for perp-ing, not the victim for protecting themselves.
As another one. Yeah. And i have stood up for myself but something happened that changed me and i started taking everyones shit and always getting shit on. Thinking i was just nice. Nope. When most ppl take advantage of you youre being toooooo nice.
@@Angeee119 maybe you were just a little depressed. I used to be a doormat when I was depressed because I had no energy or confidence left in me. It's ok
@@fran791 yes i was. (Long story) My ex made me feel so absolutely shitty that i became depressed during our relationship, but when someone is constsntly fucking with your head. Which would take a very long time to explain fully, so youre obviously just getting the bare minimum im these comments. I know what it was, how i felt before him, right before him, when i met him, when we were first together and he was still lovebombing me, and how i felt when he turned and started treating me like the true complete narcissist that he is. IT TOOK ME SO LONG, to realize that. And my first instinct still is to defend him, until i hear the words coming out of my mouth and hear the stupidity. He had me so fucked up with anxiety that i was sick almost daily. Vomitting, lathargic, everything felt harder, shittier, HUGE knots in my back, and neck constantly, couldnt sleep for shit. That shit was literally destroying me. We broke up at the end of September, literally everything in my life has gotten better since his manipulations, lies to me, lies about me, cheating, treating me like crap in any way he can get away with, without making himself look bad, and just blatently disrespecting me in practically every single way possible. Couldnt barely get a place to puty clothes, WHEN I MOVED IN. i paid half the rent and could barely house my pants. His dog and him always took priority, like in situations where everyone or both of us could be happy, he would 10/10 choose him being a little extra happy and me deal with crap i stead of us both being happy. And THAT became the definition of our relationship And funny how a couple weeks after the break up, i felt almost new. Li
I loved when she said, “don’t go scorched earth off on someone’s arse,” If I heard that correctly. That would be my first reaction as somebody who is a borderline in the face of ultimate betrayal, anger, and injustice in the injustice could be done on me or somebody else. Impulse control is everything. Being smart about how you handle things is the way to go for sure.
I love this. Revenge doesn't have to be physical, dangerous, or evil. I have never needed "closure" since I realized that if they have no issue treating me any which way then they deserve whatever they have coming. Sometimes blocking them/ignoring them/ghosting them is all that is needed ESPECIALLY if they're narcissistic. They can't handle it and I get to live my life in peace ✌🏾
“Treat others how you want to be treated” Doesn’t mean that you should take shit from anyone, this is just meant for new people in your life. But if they’re treating you bad, looks like that’s how they want to be treated back soooooo I say go for it
100% agree. I used to be 'turn the other cheek' person and heck, even if people bullied me I didn't fight back, because I thought that that was beneath me (plus my parents telling me to ignore the bullying and that my bullies only envy me and are hurt... Yep, they were never bullied). You can imagine how much anger I have inside me. Finally, I am fighting back. I personally live by do no harm, take no shit now. You know, I think that people judge others by how they are, at least unless they have some experience. I used to be so innocent, that I refused to believe, that some people are just malicious at their core... Also, anger is a great motivator, so much better than fear. That energy can be directed to something productive.
Yas! Anger/revenge is a great ignition! It can't maintain an engine, that's where personal accountability and goals come in, but it's always okay to feel angry when it's Justified.
My mom always said “the best revenge is living well” and I always thought it was corny until my late twenties when I realized she’s absolutely right. If someone has made you so made that you wouldn’t spit on them if they were on fire, why would you spend your precious time and energy sabotaging them when you know they’re already playing with matches? Give them time. They’ll set themselves on fire. Not only that living well exposes your hidden haters. There are friends and there are friendly haters. Start succeeding and the friendly haters will make themselves known, making it easier to let them go and not look back.
No, they don't. That's bullshit to let the person get away with doing shit and pretty much a "give up" strategy from the weakest part. Imagine being raped and let the rapist go because they'll likely commit another rape and pay the consequences for it. They only stop until someone stops them. I'm sure a rape victim won't live well after being raped. They will live with permanent scars. And i let you know another thing. The rapist doesn't give a f*ck if the other person is living well or not, it doesn't affect them.
Rapes and crimes are a different category to petty life stuff with people of poor character - people who commit crimes should be reported and prosecuted.
@@hadassah6085 yeah, I'm talking about purely social interactions, not assault. When it comes to assault....well, let's just say I was definitely rooting for the protagonist in Promising Young Woman.
Exactly, I'd much rather just drop a horrible person from my life rather than spend time and energy getting revenge on them. If they're a truly awful person you'll end up getting revenge anyways if you have a good, happy life because they don't want good things for you. If it's a matter of safety though, I would definitely call out someone. Ie. if someone assaulted me I would 100% call them out and make sure everyone, including police, knows they're violent. It's not about revenge, it's about hopefully preventing them from being able to hurt more people.
Soo glad i came across your channel, i harbor a lot of hatred towards people who treated me like shit, and family and friends convincing me that i exaggerated my emotions solely based on my BPD.
Revenge is when you stop negotiating and seeing things as they really are. Knowing you are in a no win situation and loving yourself enough to get out as you deserve so much better. Say nothing to him or her and all of a sudden drop them like a pancake. No more talks and discussions about your relationship and how hurt you are as your pleas are conventionally ignored. Time to love yourself and get out. Rebuild and heal yourself. I realize this type of reaction may not be appropriate for everyone, but going gray rock and giving them minimal attention or no attention.
Listen, I’ve watched so many videos and I love you so much. For the stigma, you’re one of the most compassionate humans and I think you’re loving but maybe love is different than just being understanding, but you really have so much compassion and it’s a gift. I enjoy you so much! I wish I could hug you. For me.. hah
Revenge is why I'm still alive and why I started my business. Leveling up feels SO GOOD to spite the people who abused me. I have massive "fuck you" energy and I delight in the darkness.
Omg I absolutely cannot thank you enough!!! I am so dang glad that I ran across your videos, you are amazing! This could not have come at a better time, after a year and a half of being absolutely shit on by my fiancé, I am so looking at that site! I have been a doormat, and all that it did was bring me the hell of heartbreak over and over and over again with him. Absolutely no effing more!!!!! Thank you!!!! 🙏🙏🙏
I totally agree, always when I get hurt I turn that into anger with I turn into success. It could be anything from writing a song to getting an A on a test, it’s so much better than just feeling bad.
Its about taking your love and power and pieces of your soul back that a man took without giving anything in exchange. That's why you feel better with revenge. People who say dont get revenge are usually the abusers or perps who want to keep women powerless . I feel soooo much better after giving up guilt and empathy towards some people. Makes it so much easier to take my love and power and soul back. Thank you, Kanika!
It's not just women who get told that. Men are told too not to take revenge because it's childish and that they should man up and be the bigger person. That's not a purely gendered thing as you've wrongfully asserted
Babe thanks to you I outed my narc/soc abuser! Im tired of protecting his name. Thank you for educating me so much on what happened to me and how he ended up being able to manipulate me. And as someone who FEELS a LOT all the time, to the point that I’d allow myself to be a doormat by a narc bc my emotions were used against me, thank you so much for your content ❤️
'Forgiveness '- I have been told time and time again, how I need to forgive. CSA victim and yet I have to forgive. It's very common to insist that females forgive. And we carry the burden of PTSD, trauma and, as you said, resentment. Is this really healthy? Maybe for the abuser. Thank you beautiful. You seem to have more empathy than most
Do it without the ego it takes a lot it's not easy. After all once you have a bruised ego it's a part of you and so you take it personal. But when you take your ego out the picture and also elevate in a selfless way, you're breaking not only physical ties, but energetic ties that may cause you to reattract the same type of situation. It takes a lot of patience and maturity not easy but it's for your greater good ultimately.
Interesting perspective. I am not sure if I agree or not. I’ve definitely have had issues being a doormat. I guess I view it differently. I’ve never exacted revenge because I believe in karma, and after I am mistreated I just cut the person out of my life (block, ignore). I believe if someone is treating others shabbily then that means they’re already miserable. Confident people don’t go around treating others like trash. I believe I don’t need to punish them because they punish themselves. They disallow themselves to have any meaningful relationships or happiness because their behavior drives people away and they’re very much alone in the world. Thank you for sharing. Your perspective gave me a lot to think about
my super toxic boyfriend keeps playing mind games with me saying he’s blocking me taking his anger out on me just overall scaring me because he knows that pushes my buttons and god damn your videos have been helping me so much recently! edit: ty guys for all the love like idk its hard recently but yeah! im planning to cut him off just need to build the courage
Bruh if you are aware he's toxic and he's threatening to block you, you need to dump his ass. He's using your love as a weapon, you won't be alone the rest of your life, leave him
A strong support network can be really helpful for your courage. I had to gather my brothers and father to be with me while I kicked my husband out. Hope you’ve got some people in your corner to support you.
@@cml1888 because it's not good to keep things bottled up inside, just to eventually let it all pour out onto someone innocent. If someone did us dirty and we're angry about it, we should take it out on that person in that moment, thus reducing the probability of passive aggressiveness or disregulated emotions later on. Basically, let it out now rather than later. Don't let it build up. Kuz once it builds up it can hurt more people.
Thank you Kanika. Nice guys get tired of being used. You're right: just moving on simply isn't enough. People need to know NOT TO FUCK WITH YOU. And revenge is the way to let them know you are aware of their actions & it's NOT ACCEPTABLE
All of the best experiences I have had in life have been because of the “leveling up” type of revenge. Essentially my biggest motivator is someone saying “I dont think you can do that”. Bitch WATCH ME!
Wow... I had a terrible experience being married to a sociopath and never imagined I would actually appreciate another sociopath but you make sense. My anger drove me to get healthier, progress my career, and do some intensive mental health work. My dad told me repeatedly "you gotta be an asshole" throughout the divorce because I struggled to stop caring about his well being and put myself first. Luckily, I took his advice and I'm glad I did. I'm not proud of the fact that I allowed him to terrorize me for so long but in the end, I collected the toll he owed and I'm stronger for it 💪😊✨️
I used to feel bad or like it was weird whenever I would cuss someone out after they did me dirty for whatever reason. But now I'm like... You know what? My inner peace is worth it. They have had horrible things said to them because they deserved them. F them. It's not embarrassing to me. They should be ashamed of what they did.
I am like that too, so I just level up and I make sure everyone knows the truth about that person. Telling the truth is justice, not revenge and it will make you feel a lot better and you will gain your power back
@@fran791 this is not revenge? I feel like it might be? For me to tell everyone the truth about the person....is not a revenge? And i mean...."for all the people to see on display" type of revenge...to their close ones, to my close ones and others to know and to see all of it...telling the truth like it is in that way....for truly everyone....is not a revenge?
So true . And if you can’t bring yourself to commit revenge , at least when you’re ready to dump them , just ghost out of the blue without a word and make it impossible for them to contact you. That’s also super satisfying when you think back on it later . Most dickheads - and ALL narcissists - have abandonment wounds so it cuts deep
Could you speak on breakups? I looked through your content to find it to ensure I'm not an idiot asking a stupid question. But I just broke up w/ my fiancée and while I hurt and feel bad for breaking his heart (this was seemingly out of the blue for him), I also blocked him and cut off all contact with his family immediately. We were together 8 years on and off. Any advice? Thanks.
The people who are are bashing this video with repetitive comments about taking the high road, and how that will really “make someone regret what they’ve done to you”, most likely have never dealt with someone truly evil and sadistic. These types of abusers could care less if you level up after they’ve preyed upon you and destroyed you. They’ve already moved onto the next victim and never looked back. So while I like the idea of leveling up after someone has treated you like 💩, I sometimes prefer showing the bully what it feels like to switch places. I have BPD and can be the most caring, loving, tolerant person. But I get enraged by someone who is cruel and chooses to be a menace to people that have good intentions. I whole-heartedly agree that nothing shuts them up, or sits them down faster than getting a good ole taste of their own medicine. Thank you Kanika for your content. It’s reassured me and helped me move forward in my life on many levels. I truly appreciate you. ❤
hey, is there a whole video on this??? revenge is so interesting and christ such a doormat. i seem to attract toxic, abusive narcissists and tbh i just need to be slightly more in control
Yes I totally agree. Always trying to be the big person is a bad thing to do. Taking revenge feels good and even being petty feels good and mind just feels so much lighter
Hi Kanika, I LOVE your personally true to the bone explanations! Your as good as a psychologist or psychiatrist! ( Without the sweet talk) keep going sweetheart 👍 xxxx
I will never forget that when I was like 12 I heard a quote and it was like a main focus of my life I latched onto Is it “revenge is a dish best served cold “ don’t ask me why I watched him do that when I was younger, but I did.
I would love for you and Shallon Lester to do a video together sooo much Kanika! I think you too would come up with brilliant revenge strategies together!
My ex has sociopathic and a narcissistic traits heavily (not sure if they go heavily hand in hand or not) but when I started to level up especially after me made me a single mom it killed him. He tried things and still try to destroy me and I kill his ego every time by standing up for myself. Thank you for your videos and tbh much love support
I find positive and creative ways to hold them accountable for their horrible deeds. I find ways to hold them accountable in a way that nobody will ever forget. I'm not the one to mess with. As it stands now, anytime my abusers see me out on the street, they run the other way crying. They f***** around and they found out. Now they will never bother me or my child ever again.
Mmmm. If this leads to a place where one develops a mindset, and therefore a vibe that you're not to be fkd with, then I'm all for it. balance, aka neutrality, aka detachment is key though, IMO.
Honestly, not quite revenge, but spite can certainly be a similar feeling on a small level and that’s a huge motivator for me. I don’t feel desires for revenge very often or at least not for long as I forgive and forget very easily. (Too easily, honestly, not bragging about it it’s a bit naive at times). But spite, now that gets me going. For instance, almost got kicked out of college marching band or at least the director tried to basically bully me out. What did I do instead of leaving? Decided then and there I’d do it till I graduate, and auditioned for all the staff spots.
“Princess Diana waited 27 years for her lickback, don’t you EVER think shit is sweet.” Chaos & violence is just as Godly as Order & gentleness, and it’s just as much a part of the human experience. Sometimes, it IS the answer 🤷🏾♀️ metaphorically or physically.
You know, sociopathic & narcissistic people are not bad people. They just need extra help sometimes & that’s okay. One of my dear friends is a sociopath & also one of the most kind people I’ve ever met. If you ask him why he helps others he says “I don’t know. All I know is that it makes me feel good & I like to feel good.” Anyone can be toxic or abusive, just like anyone can be healing & compassionate
I've never gotten revenge on my ex and he literally tried to ruin my life and ruined me financially and even got other people against me and I was ganged up on... Stole a bunch of my stuff destroyed a bunch of my stuff... I just keep telling myself that karma will do its job but I don't think it is... And I've never been able to heal as a result of it because it just isn't right that he got away with all the stuff that he did.
@@guesswho5790 nah I think she should just get herself to a point where she is so satisfied in life that she truly doesn't give a damn about her loser ex anymore because she is above and she is an iconic queen. I would focus on levelling up rather than on fucking someone up, because you may fuck him up, but then you're still right there on the bottom of the barrel where he left you. Rise very far up and you won't need to get your hands dirty trying to bring him down.
So I’ve found myself in a relationship with a sociopathic man which I just ended. He has been damaging my property. How can I protect myself? I have a high profile career as well so I’m afraid he’ll go after my job too.
But you’re leveling up wayy more by actually leveling up yourself by living a great life and not cave in on the bad things you experienced and becoming an awful human too like the other person who probably got like that by awful experiences too. And being better than them and leaving them alone will be your revenge. By trying to humiliate them back you’re just admitting to them how much it broke you and that they were powerful enough to influence you to be a bad human being. Basically rather lift yourself above them than trying to put them lower
she's single handedly fixing years of trauma from an abusive relationship in high school i was in, years of thinking im just unstable but really he was just doing all the shit she talks about in her videos, just couldn't recognize it until now
In my opinion, taking revenge is what makes you the better person because revenge is sending a message to would-be abusers that you're not to be messed with.
Revenge is the best motivator, change my mind www.cinderellasrevenge.co/
I am not a sociopath and I trained myself not to turn the other cheek - I still have an ego - I would rather give people back exactly what they’ve done
I turned the other cheek and hate myself for it. Since I cant go back in time, I simply no longer feel the need to "say something nice or nothing at all". I say what happened and I hate him for it. Because thats the truth.
@@evonne315 I got my revenge but honestly it wasn’t to the degree that I was fucked over. Doesn’t feel nearly enough. Don’t be hard on yourself, hopefully they’re feeling some guilt over what they did to you, if not now, eventually. They will probably be one of those people that don’t take dying very well because they’re riddled with so many regrets.
@kanika Batra I believe the universe has it's way of punishing people. I believe that if you step in and decide to be the one to punish them, it could just fire back at you and karma will turn around and punish you for that as well. I don't have any proof of this. This is just what I personally believe.
Oh yeah I'm gonna visit this site
You’re so right. Why does it always fall on the person that was wronged to be the bigger person and take someone’s disrespect? Nope. You get back what you put out.
i agree, my entire family looks down on me for choosing to never speak to my dad again and for treating him AS HE DESERVES... besides my mom, lil sis, niece they all understand but like my dads entire fam and some of my moms even say hes doing so great now, hes a good christian! hes been sober for 8 yrs!... how can those factors justify or make me forgive and forget all the physical, mental and sexual abuse he did to my mom, my older sis and i? just because my older sisters a meth head ( thanks to him doing meth with her when she was like 15 or 16 so shed get weird with him ) and shes so fked in the head she still in her 30s wants the approval and love of him... im not the same way.. i just chalk it up to well, never speaking to him or his family again. didnt go to my grandpas funeral since he defended my dad in court then later cried to me saying hes sorry he had to back his son.... no, fk off go to h*ll grandpa... plus my grandpa my dad said did the stuff he tried/did to me was because his dad did it to him, i kinda believe him cause in middle school my grandpa picked me up idk my mom was busy prob and my grandpa kept looking at the little girlls, said " look at the tits on that one " and these were middle school little girls..... he asked me if i was getting any and said if he were my age hed be sleeping with them all... so i dont doubt he did shit to my dad... why would i go pretend to care he died? plus the idiot didnt get vaccined, my grandma and his friend did, one didnt. after a fishing trip the 4 of em got covid, the 2 who werent vaccinated died, my grandma and the other friend did fine with covid so like idk i love everyone until they are bad, then idc lol and he was bad too so idc... meanwhile the family hates on me more than damn child predators.... so fk them too lol sorry for the rant... it just really irritates me especially during holidays when my family try to guilt trip me " grandma would really love to see you for xmas " well maybe grandma should have not defended her freak son and husband their entire life and threaten to call the cops on me multiple times as a kid when i would have emotional breakdowns and panic attacks and didnt want to see my dad... threatened that id never see my mom again and call DHS and lie about my mom and i to take away my legibility and told cops and the judge id say/do whatever it took to help my mom... knowing damn well i was incapable of lying and acting for one and 2nt knowing her son was a freak just like her husband and her daughter who got knocked up by her own cousin and had to abort it. sorry i dont care to see her before she died of alztimers ffs! lol... even my bestfriend says ill regret not forgiving them and having a dad... im like.... you have no idea the hell my childhood and early adulthood was man lol how can people say shit like that to victims? idc if he was on drugs, i am an alcoholic and ive never done anything drunk or tipsy that i wouldnt do sober... thats a bs excuse i know 100% like if u drink and do anything bad, its just cause the alcohol gave you the confidence to do something you already wanted to do or say. same with drugss imo unless its full psychosis and even then i think if i was in psychosis id still be the same morally lol *end of rant* lmao my therapist and i talk about this stuff idk why i gotta share online x.x but i am an over sharer xD
Exactly. Sometimes people need to be taught a lesson.
Payback for all the other victims before you too.
THIS. I will NOT be held to the accountability that we let my abusers get off without.
You punish the perp for perp-ing, not the victim for protecting themselves.
Honestly its a good point and makes me wonder if turning the other cheek is just yet another grooming tactic deeply engrained into our society
"The other cheek will have no skin left on it" is such an amazing sentence
As someone who once had been used as a doormat for years, I agree.
Revenge is good.
You don't have to be "evil", but it's good nonetheless.
As another one. Yeah. And i have stood up for myself but something happened that changed me and i started taking everyones shit and always getting shit on. Thinking i was just nice. Nope. When most ppl take advantage of you youre being toooooo nice.
@@Angeee119 maybe you were just a little depressed. I used to be a doormat when I was depressed because I had no energy or confidence left in me.
It's ok
@@fran791 yes i was.
(Long story)
My ex made me feel so absolutely shitty that i became depressed during our relationship, but when someone is constsntly fucking with your head. Which would take a very long time to explain fully, so youre obviously just getting the bare minimum im these comments. I know what it was, how i felt before him, right before him, when i met him, when we were first together and he was still lovebombing me, and how i felt when he turned and started treating me like the true complete narcissist that he is. IT TOOK ME SO LONG, to realize that. And my first instinct still is to defend him, until i hear the words coming out of my mouth and hear the stupidity. He had me so fucked up with anxiety that i was sick almost daily. Vomitting, lathargic, everything felt harder, shittier, HUGE knots in my back, and neck constantly, couldnt sleep for shit. That shit was literally destroying me. We broke up at the end of September, literally everything in my life has gotten better since his manipulations, lies to me, lies about me, cheating, treating me like crap in any way he can get away with, without making himself look bad, and just blatently disrespecting me in practically every single way possible.
Couldnt barely get a place to puty clothes, WHEN I MOVED IN. i paid half the rent and could barely house my pants. His dog and him always took priority, like in situations where everyone or both of us could be happy, he would 10/10 choose him being a little extra happy and me deal with crap i stead of us both being happy.
And THAT became the definition of our relationship
And funny how a couple weeks after the break up, i felt almost new. Li
I loved when she said, “don’t go scorched earth off on someone’s arse,” If I heard that correctly. That would be my first reaction as somebody who is a borderline in the face of ultimate betrayal, anger, and injustice in the injustice could be done on me or somebody else. Impulse control is everything. Being smart about how you handle things is the way to go for sure.
Reasonable amount of revenge .... or justice? Same?
I love this. Revenge doesn't have to be physical, dangerous, or evil. I have never needed "closure" since I realized that if they have no issue treating me any which way then they deserve whatever they have coming. Sometimes blocking them/ignoring them/ghosting them is all that is needed ESPECIALLY if they're narcissistic. They can't handle it and I get to live my life in peace ✌🏾
“Treat others how you want to be treated”
Doesn’t mean that you should take shit from anyone, this is just meant for new people in your life. But if they’re treating you bad, looks like that’s how they want to be treated back soooooo I say go for it
100% agree.
I used to be 'turn the other cheek' person and heck, even if people bullied me I didn't fight back, because I thought that that was beneath me (plus my parents telling me to ignore the bullying and that my bullies only envy me and are hurt... Yep, they were never bullied).
You can imagine how much anger I have inside me. Finally, I am fighting back.
I personally live by do no harm, take no shit now.
You know, I think that people judge others by how they are, at least unless they have some experience. I used to be so innocent, that I refused to believe, that some people are just malicious at their core...
Also, anger is a great motivator, so much better than fear. That energy can be directed to something productive.
Yas! Anger/revenge is a great ignition!
It can't maintain an engine, that's where personal accountability and goals come in, but it's always okay to feel angry when it's Justified.
She is the friend I never knew I needed
Believe me, she would steal your boyfriend in a heartbeat
@@avalondreaming1433 don't ruin my imagination for me 😭😭😭
@@monimoni-ks5so Sorry, I grew up with a girl like this. RUN
@@avalondreaming1433 I don't blame you 😭😭😭
She is a diagnosed sociopath herself. She admitted it
You say revenge and I say consequences 💁♀️
She is 100 percent correct I went through this you have to experience freedom verbally mentally and physically you need to empower yourself
My mom always said “the best revenge is living well” and I always thought it was corny until my late twenties when I realized she’s absolutely right.
If someone has made you so made that you wouldn’t spit on them if they were on fire, why would you spend your precious time and energy sabotaging them when you know they’re already playing with matches?
Give them time. They’ll set themselves on fire.
Not only that living well exposes your hidden haters. There are friends and there are friendly haters. Start succeeding and the friendly haters will make themselves known, making it easier to let them go and not look back.
No, they don't.
That's bullshit to let the person get away with doing shit and pretty much a "give up" strategy from the weakest part.
Imagine being raped and let the rapist go because they'll likely commit another rape and pay the consequences for it.
They only stop until someone stops them.
I'm sure a rape victim won't live well after being raped. They will live with permanent scars.
And i let you know another thing. The rapist doesn't give a f*ck if the other person is living well or not, it doesn't affect them.
Rapes and crimes are a different category to petty life stuff with people of poor character - people who commit crimes should be reported and prosecuted.
this!
@@hadassah6085 yeah, I'm talking about purely social interactions, not assault. When it comes to assault....well, let's just say I was definitely rooting for the protagonist in Promising Young Woman.
Exactly, I'd much rather just drop a horrible person from my life rather than spend time and energy getting revenge on them. If they're a truly awful person you'll end up getting revenge anyways if you have a good, happy life because they don't want good things for you.
If it's a matter of safety though, I would definitely call out someone. Ie. if someone assaulted me I would 100% call them out and make sure everyone, including police, knows they're violent. It's not about revenge, it's about hopefully preventing them from being able to hurt more people.
Soo glad i came across your channel, i harbor a lot of hatred towards people who treated me like shit, and family and friends convincing me that i exaggerated my emotions solely based on my BPD.
Same here. I feel ya!
Same. I've found releasing the anger does make me better, as long as it's done in defence to overly aggressive people
I validate and support your hate and hope you find relief on any way you feel you need 💖
@@SpookiDoki thank you
Nah, do that revenge BPD or not it will make you feel better. Remember the revenge is about you. Then God will add that extra revenge it is a win win.
Revenge is when you stop negotiating and seeing things as they really are. Knowing you are in a no win situation and loving yourself enough to get out as you deserve so much better. Say nothing to him or her and all of a sudden drop them like a pancake. No more talks and discussions about your relationship and how hurt you are as your pleas are conventionally ignored. Time to love yourself and get out. Rebuild and heal yourself. I realize this type of reaction may not be appropriate for everyone, but going gray rock and giving them minimal attention or no attention.
Absolutely! Spot on!
💯👌makes me feel guilty sometimes but then I can let it go
Listen, I’ve watched so many videos and I love you so much. For the stigma, you’re one of the most compassionate humans and I think you’re loving but maybe love is different than just being understanding, but you really have so much compassion and it’s a gift. I enjoy you so much! I wish I could hug you. For me.. hah
Okay I love this this is so true. Anger is a emotion that will get you off your ass❤
Exactly, irs a dynamo to chose our wellbeing over our attachment to a 'devil'
I love you :') you say the things no one ever dares to say. I love it.
"Arse". 🤣I love that.
This message is absolutely necessary
Revenge is why I'm still alive and why I started my business.
Leveling up feels SO GOOD to spite the people who abused me. I have massive "fuck you" energy and I delight in the darkness.
Me with both my cheeks skinned 😂🔥 lmbo literally 🤣🤣🤣
Omg I absolutely cannot thank you enough!!! I am so dang glad that I ran across your videos, you are amazing! This could not have come at a better time, after a year and a half of being absolutely shit on by my fiancé, I am so looking at that site! I have been a doormat, and all that it did was bring me the hell of heartbreak over and over and over again with him. Absolutely no effing more!!!!!
Thank you!!!! 🙏🙏🙏
So true. Was waiting for someone to admit this. Sometimes revenge is necessary to give a dose of medicine to other person.
I totally agree, always when I get hurt I turn that into anger with I turn into success. It could be anything from writing a song to getting an A on a test, it’s so much better than just feeling bad.
Its about taking your love and power and pieces of your soul back that a man took without giving anything in exchange.
That's why you feel better with revenge.
People who say dont get revenge are usually the abusers or perps who want to keep women powerless .
I feel soooo much better after giving up guilt and empathy towards some people.
Makes it so much easier to take my love and power and soul back.
Thank you, Kanika!
Well said! 😀
What are examples of revenge and effective ways to get back the pieces of self ?
It's not just women who get told that. Men are told too not to take revenge because it's childish and that they should man up and be the bigger person. That's not a purely gendered thing as you've wrongfully asserted
Why make this a gender thing men take revenge too
Babe thanks to you I outed my narc/soc abuser! Im tired of protecting his name. Thank you for educating me so much on what happened to me and how he ended up being able to manipulate me. And as someone who FEELS a LOT all the time, to the point that I’d allow myself to be a doormat by a narc bc my emotions were used against me, thank you so much for your content ❤️
you can learn alot from her personality. love this girl
I secretly love this girl. Removing emotions from the whole thing allows us to see more clearly. So that’s why I like your videos.
She is a sociopath
She's the hero I never knew I needed
Your advice actually fixed my relationship.
'Forgiveness '- I have been told time and time again, how I need to forgive. CSA victim and yet I have to forgive. It's very common to insist that females forgive. And we carry the burden of PTSD, trauma and, as you said, resentment. Is this really healthy? Maybe for the abuser. Thank you beautiful. You seem to have more empathy than most
Do it without the ego it takes a lot it's not easy. After all once you have a bruised ego it's a part of you and so you take it personal. But when you take your ego out the picture and also elevate in a selfless way, you're breaking not only physical ties, but energetic ties that may cause you to reattract the same type of situation. It takes a lot of patience and maturity not easy but it's for your greater good ultimately.
Interesting perspective. I am not sure if I agree or not. I’ve definitely have had issues being a doormat. I guess I view it differently. I’ve never exacted revenge because I believe in karma, and after I am mistreated I just cut the person out of my life (block, ignore). I believe if someone is treating others shabbily then that means they’re already miserable. Confident people don’t go around treating others like trash. I believe I don’t need to punish them because they punish themselves. They disallow themselves to have any meaningful relationships or happiness because their behavior drives people away and they’re very much alone in the world.
Thank you for sharing. Your perspective gave me a lot to think about
She’s the hero we all need
my super toxic boyfriend keeps playing mind games with me saying he’s blocking me taking his anger out on me just overall scaring me because he knows that pushes my buttons and god damn your videos have been helping me so much recently!
edit: ty guys for all the love like idk its hard recently but yeah! im planning to cut him off just need to build the courage
Are you planning on breaking up with him? I hope you're safe
Girl, run. I promise you, it won't get better. You won't change him.
Leave that loser looool wtf you're doing with him. He will never change unless he loses every person and realizes it's because he is fucked up
Bruh if you are aware he's toxic and he's threatening to block you, you need to dump his ass. He's using your love as a weapon, you won't be alone the rest of your life, leave him
A strong support network can be really helpful for your courage. I had to gather my brothers and father to be with me while I kicked my husband out. Hope you’ve got some people in your corner to support you.
You’re the best motivator ! I’m so glad i have found your page! Thank you for being you
I have a theory on why revenge is healthy, and it doesn't even have anything to do with leveling up. That's just a bonus.
Love to hear it
@@cml1888 because it's not good to keep things bottled up inside, just to eventually let it all pour out onto someone innocent. If someone did us dirty and we're angry about it, we should take it out on that person in that moment, thus reducing the probability of passive aggressiveness or disregulated emotions later on. Basically, let it out now rather than later. Don't let it build up. Kuz once it builds up it can hurt more people.
Absolute truth about resentment ❤️
Thank you Kanika.
Nice guys get tired of being used. You're right: just moving on simply isn't enough. People need to know NOT TO FUCK WITH YOU. And revenge is the way to let them know you are aware of their actions & it's NOT ACCEPTABLE
All of the best experiences I have had in life have been because of the “leveling up” type of revenge. Essentially my biggest motivator is someone saying “I dont think you can do that”. Bitch WATCH ME!
Wow... I had a terrible experience being married to a sociopath and never imagined I would actually appreciate another sociopath but you make sense. My anger drove me to get healthier, progress my career, and do some intensive mental health work. My dad told me repeatedly "you gotta be an asshole" throughout the divorce because I struggled to stop caring about his well being and put myself first. Luckily, I took his advice and I'm glad I did. I'm not proud of the fact that I allowed him to terrorize me for so long but in the end, I collected the toll he owed and I'm stronger for it 💪😊✨️
I feel this. I have been treated like shit so much in my life & I use all the negativity as fuel to build my life
I used to feel bad or like it was weird whenever I would cuss someone out after they did me dirty for whatever reason. But now I'm like... You know what? My inner peace is worth it. They have had horrible things said to them because they deserved them. F them. It's not embarrassing to me. They should be ashamed of what they did.
Revenge is lovely. I dated a narssitic guy for 2 years and definitely got my revenge on him. It feels good, especially when it’s very deserved
What did you do?
Yup. We have to choose some battles- yes. But "turn the other cheek" has never been a broadgame answer, & only serves oppressors.
Whenever I did try to get revenge it would always backfire and I would end up feeling 10x worse :(
I am like that too, so I just level up and I make sure everyone knows the truth about that person.
Telling the truth is justice, not revenge and it will make you feel a lot better and you will gain your power back
@@fran791 this is not revenge? I feel like it might be? For me to tell everyone the truth about the person....is not a revenge? And i mean...."for all the people to see on display" type of revenge...to their close ones, to my close ones and others to know and to see all of it...telling the truth like it is in that way....for truly everyone....is not a revenge?
"The best revenge is living well"
So true . And if you can’t bring yourself to commit revenge , at least when you’re ready to dump them , just ghost out of the blue without a word and make it impossible for them to contact you. That’s also super satisfying when you think back on it later . Most dickheads - and ALL narcissists - have abandonment wounds so it cuts deep
Could you speak on breakups? I looked through your content to find it to ensure I'm not an idiot asking a stupid question. But I just broke up w/ my fiancée and while I hurt and feel bad for breaking his heart (this was seemingly out of the blue for him), I also blocked him and cut off all contact with his family immediately. We were together 8 years on and off. Any advice? Thanks.
The people who are are bashing this video with repetitive comments about taking the high road, and how that will really “make someone regret what they’ve done to you”, most likely have never dealt with someone truly evil and sadistic. These types of abusers could care less if you level up after they’ve preyed upon you and destroyed you. They’ve already moved onto the next victim and never looked back. So while I like the idea of leveling up after someone has treated you like 💩, I sometimes prefer showing the bully what it feels like to switch places. I have BPD and can be the most caring, loving, tolerant person. But I get enraged by someone who is cruel and chooses to be a menace to people that have good intentions. I whole-heartedly agree that nothing shuts them up, or sits them down faster than getting a good ole taste of their own medicine.
Thank you Kanika for your content. It’s reassured me and helped me move forward in my life on many levels. I truly appreciate you. ❤
hey, is there a whole video on this??? revenge is so interesting and christ such a doormat. i seem to attract toxic, abusive narcissists and tbh i just need to be slightly more in control
Yes I totally agree. Always trying to be the big person is a bad thing to do. Taking revenge feels good and even being petty feels good and mind just feels so much lighter
I love this woman so much 🤍🖤🤍
Yeah let’s have a sociopath give us all life advice that’s fucking smart
Hi Kanika, I LOVE your personally true to the bone explanations! Your as good as a psychologist or psychiatrist! ( Without the sweet talk) keep going sweetheart 👍 xxxx
Yes finally the Playbook
I will never forget that when I was like 12 I heard a quote and it was like a main focus of my life I latched onto Is it “revenge is a dish best served cold “ don’t ask me why I watched him do that when I was younger, but I did.
I pray you get a revelation around your diagnosis that helps you to use it for good/love/light and not evil/harm.
Favorite video of all time !!!! 😊
"don't get sad, get even"
Who would date this woman? She never blinks
This is inspiring, thank you
I would love for you and Shallon Lester to do a video together sooo much Kanika! I think you too would come up with brilliant revenge strategies together!
I always get my revenge slowly and quietly:D I always win it may not be today or tomorrow but I get the last laugh
I am an empath who have been preyed on by narcisistic lovers and family members...I just love this woman's content!
My ex has sociopathic and a narcissistic traits heavily (not sure if they go heavily hand in hand or not) but when I started to level up especially after me made me a single mom it killed him. He tried things and still try to destroy me and I kill his ego every time by standing up for myself. Thank you for your videos and tbh much love support
I could listen to you off a cliff.
I don’t necessarily agree but this is the first I’m hearing of it. So I’m open to new ideas ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm very motivated by your videos to be successful and i don't know what that says about me... anyways keep doing what ur doing lots of love
it says that you’re tired of being a doormat, and want to be in control. 🙌💗
@@siya.kotiouuYeah her videos scream dominance and independence which both i aspire to be.
You're absolutely lovely and right 😇✌️🥰
Sending you love. Stay blessed sis. ❤❤❤
I find positive and creative ways to hold them accountable for their horrible deeds. I find ways to hold them accountable in a way that nobody will ever forget. I'm not the one to mess with. As it stands now, anytime my abusers see me out on the street, they run the other way crying. They f***** around and they found out. Now they will never bother me or my child ever again.
Like what can you share examples
To not be like that is real power, revenge is a poor peolpe transcriped
Mmmm. If this leads to a place where one develops a mindset, and therefore a vibe that you're not to be fkd with, then I'm all for it. balance, aka neutrality, aka detachment is key though, IMO.
I'm so exhausted, bitter and resentful. I just want to fulfil a bit of what has been out out on myself
I have bpd and "revenge" is pretty much my reason to live other than love. If you want to knock me down, fine. Prepare for me to rise far above you.
What are some ways you get revenge, examples pls 🙏
I am starting to love you more and more @Kanika Batra ❤❤❤
Honestly, not quite revenge, but spite can certainly be a similar feeling on a small level and that’s a huge motivator for me. I don’t feel desires for revenge very often or at least not for long as I forgive and forget very easily. (Too easily, honestly, not bragging about it it’s a bit naive at times). But spite, now that gets me going. For instance, almost got kicked out of college marching band or at least the director tried to basically bully me out. What did I do instead of leaving? Decided then and there I’d do it till I graduate, and auditioned for all the staff spots.
“Princess Diana waited 27 years for her lickback, don’t you EVER think shit is sweet.” Chaos & violence is just as Godly as Order & gentleness, and it’s just as much a part of the human experience. Sometimes, it IS the answer 🤷🏾♀️ metaphorically or physically.
Yess babe 💙
You know, sociopathic & narcissistic people are not bad people. They just need extra help sometimes & that’s okay. One of my dear friends is a sociopath & also one of the most kind people I’ve ever met. If you ask him why he helps others he says “I don’t know. All I know is that it makes me feel good & I like to feel good.”
Anyone can be toxic or abusive, just like anyone can be healing & compassionate
I agree with you 👏👏👏
success is the best revenge.
Not ASPD but I am BPD and I felt this in my core
You might be a sociopath but i like you as a person i love you keep it real
Scorched 🌍 on someone’s ass😂😂😂 I can’t with her😂😂
I've never gotten revenge on my ex and he literally tried to ruin my life and ruined me financially and even got other people against me and I was ganged up on... Stole a bunch of my stuff destroyed a bunch of my stuff... I just keep telling myself that karma will do its job but I don't think it is... And I've never been able to heal as a result of it because it just isn't right that he got away with all the stuff that he did.
The truth always comes out, keep workin on it. Level up, gain more positive power
Revenge honey. This deserves a good old fashioned vendetta. You know better than anyone what will hurt him most. Do it.
@@guesswho5790 nah I think she should just get herself to a point where she is so satisfied in life that she truly doesn't give a damn about her loser ex anymore because she is above and she is an iconic queen.
I would focus on levelling up rather than on fucking someone up, because you may fuck him up, but then you're still right there on the bottom of the barrel where he left you.
Rise very far up and you won't need to get your hands dirty trying to bring him down.
I love her...
Only Thi g you've said that can actually apply to my emotional ass. I'm all rage and indifference, you're actually reminding me I used to be regulate.
you’re a gem
I went to the comment section and found your website! So awesome!
Someone told me it’s called retaliation when you get revenge
Too many people play God and think their shit doesn't stink. Sometimes revenge is fucking necessary.
So I’ve found myself in a relationship with a sociopathic man which I just ended. He has been damaging my property. How can I protect myself? I have a high profile career as well so I’m afraid he’ll go after my job too.
But you’re leveling up wayy more by actually leveling up yourself by living a great life and not cave in on the bad things you experienced and becoming an awful human too like the other person who probably got like that by awful experiences too. And being better than them and leaving them alone will be your revenge. By trying to humiliate them back you’re just admitting to them how much it broke you and that they were powerful enough to influence you to be a bad human being. Basically rather lift yourself above them than trying to put them lower
she's single handedly fixing years of trauma from an abusive relationship in high school i was in, years of thinking im just unstable but really he was just doing all the shit she talks about in her videos, just couldn't recognize it until now
This just sounds like an eye for an eye. Not interested in that energy but you do you.
In my opinion, taking revenge is what makes you the better person because revenge is sending a message to would-be abusers that you're not to be messed with.
All the way until they start revenging back and the circle continues
If they fear revenge they shouldn't have started a war in the first place.