Historians have gone WOKE!!!!
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- Опубліковано 31 бер 2024
- Released April 1st, 2024! Have you noticed everything is woke now? You’ve got these so-called historians denigrating America’s glorious past simply because there’s some white supremacy in there. Get over it. Everywhere has a dark heritage, so why do I have to hear about it? I just can’t stand it. We used to be a nation of nuclear families, engaged in the righteous elimination of all those commies that pollute the darker parts of the world. Now men are afraid to fight each other in the street for the fear of namby pamby SJWs canceling them.
And you know who’s to blame for that? It’s these scholars injecting identity politics into everything. If history is the story of us, as Cypher always says, then why do I have to hear about all these unamerican things like race, class, and gender? What happened to our heroes? Well, I’ll tell you. History is woke now. It has nothing to do with my unwillingness to interrogate what actually happened. That’s why I don’t need citations. Verifiability is for the weak. The wokesters are the real cowards for using Critical Race Theory to make me feel bad about being white. They try to push their betters away by enforcing diversity, equity, and inclusion on everyone.
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Everything is woke now
Standing in line is woke. Why can't I bypass people and walk straight to the counter.
@@presterjohn1697I know right, how dare of the weak stand our way 😂
All history is policial , everything is policial , everything is the state nothing outside the state.
Really everything is woke. Especially those who say they are anti-woke. Like hello woke is standing there right in your name.
@@jeremyreff6511 LOL
Satire is difficult these days.
Satire is woke. Need more straight shooters to make content simplistic.
Hello sir like your informative channel
Wokester historian!
Check out Geology Hubs's satire today. I know that's not what he's known for, but dayum the nerd did it up! FYI that is his real voice.✌️😹🍀
I know people who unironically believe all of this. If I didn’t already know this channel it would take an embarrassingly long time to realize it’s satire.
I had to divorce my wife because she tried to turn me woke
The rare case where the wife actually overdosed you on coffee.
Best of luck with that red pill! 😂
Imma go buy more hand lotion stocks...
I put my dog down because he was woke
@@squeakysreef9163 It's the only way to be sure.
Have you consider for position of your wife all people or just women? DEI may be the root of your problem!
Not watching this woke video from a woke historian ‼️‼️
The Civil War wasn't about "States Rights." It was about "States Left." (Get It? the states "Left." Please don't hate me.)
You didn't have to do that
Comedy gold
It was about the right for the state to secede from the union. The Confederacy didn't know it was a forever union and thought they could leave. Which is weird that it's called a Union because you don't have a choice to leave.
Abolition is Woke
@@sithlord5149 The wanted the freedom to enslave and expand operations westward.
Historians should sleep more often then i suppose
You only commented 5 minutes ago and I just now finally finished laughing
Man, thing is, I know its satire and parody, but holy shit, most of the talking points you mention, I actually have heard espoused by right-wingers en masse.
Because it's a cult
All they do is repeat Kremlin propaganda and The Heritage Foundation talking points.
There is a reason that all he really had to do was stitch in clips from Praeger U videos...
@@aprotosis Yeeeeeep.......
Hence....the joke.
@@Shadowman4710 The joke is so similar to the real thing now.
We used to be a society of laws! Like those Police Academy movies! Now we're just a joke. Like what Jefferson said, we need to water our soil with blood. I say we call it Blood and Soil!
BRB gonna go rob some blood banks.
Happy April fools everyone.
Best WhatIfAltHistory video in a long time! Maybe ever!
IDK the Top 10 Tanks video was pretty epic.
You should check out Geology Hubs's satire video today. Over the top perfection and absolutely unexpected given his usual content and presentation. Well worth the 5 minutes. ✌️😹🍀
Is that the guy who "refuses" to read any history books written after 1965 because that's when "It feels like it all went wrong". Not even joking.
The nuclear family, splitting apart ever since the Manhattan project
Oh that was a nice one. 😅
WhatIfAltHist be like:
America used to eat real food like canned chicken in jello molds, but now everythinf is woke 😾
As the left always says everything is polical remember
Plants are poison, fruit is dangerous and meat cures depression.
@@sithlord5149 It's not just the left who says that.... way to miss the point.
The sad part is that we all know someone who will take this at face value lol
LOL, true. Historians ARE all woke. ;-) Damn eddycation.
So true the historians will shove things down your throat which are half true
Who Eddy? and why should I cation him?
You know what? If they love the tradition so much, they should bring back terms such as "force busing" instead of inventing new terms from SJW to woke to the now trendy DEI every few seasons.
Calling someone woke is not a fashion my dear.
Like imagine TheQuartering video title in 1960s goes like:
"DISNEY GOES FORCED BUSING AGAIN! HOLLYWOOD STATE RIGHTS THREATENED!"
"Budweiser pushes HIPPIE hogwash down our throats."
"COMMIE infiltrators PROVE civil rights movement a sham."
This is actually kinda fun
@@CynicalHistorian yep. And once you translate enough of his lingoes in his videos enough...woah now I get what he is truly saying now.
Hollywood RUN BY STALIN? Sparticus IS WOKE AND BOMBING!?!?!
Disney is a regular suffragette factory these days. The only Ms. Marvel I want to see is a marvelous job in the kitchen.
Abolitionists DESTROYED with the FACTS of eugenics!
The best part of this april fool's joke was that you left out the humor. Classic!
That makes it a rather poor joke.
@@peterzavon3012 They were being sarcastic....
Which is preferable.
A WOKE historian or a GAMER historian
Damnn that is a nightmare blunt rotation 😂
¿Por qué no los dos?
Si el gamer historian educa acerca de la historia de los juegos pues bienvenido@@podemosurss8316
@@bringjoy73 just make sure there arnt any weapons nearby b4 u start lmfao
Be clear, is a gamer historian the type who learned World War 2 from Wolfenstein? That’s messed up, everyone’s knows the true source of World War 2 history is the Indiana Jones movies.
Inaccurate you didnt mention great replacement theory
Re-watch 1:41
The great replacement theory isn't a theory the results is true the nonsense of jews and shit isn't
You are absolutely right Crypto. These dang woke historians and history professors. When going through the 4 years it took to get my Bachelors Degree in History, I absolutely refused to believe that segregation was bad. In fact, even after getting thrown out of the classroom 20 times for "disrupting class session and rampant racism" I fought hard against this idea of segregation being bad. I even dropped out even though I only needed 1 more class to get my degree and joined the actual scholarly university known as PragerU and will soon have a degree from then in 6 years with no woke education at a cost of only $75K.
As a jew and a comedic writer, I liked bringing up the "Wokester" conspiricy.
Ugh I want to insert a joke about narratives and media, but the world is tilting so far towards wrong it won't even come across as me making a fool of the bad guy...
My Boeing is broke because the world is woke.
The sad thing is this comment is the only actually funny thing related to this video. It figures the Cynical Historian didn't give it a heart.
I have a tummy ache because of wokeism
I agree. Too many woke historians, woke teachers, woke scientists, woke mathematicians, and they all use woke logic and woke facts and woke critical thinking. I'm going to sleep!!!! 😡😡😡🤣🤣
I’m joining the war on WOKE Historians…
…On the side of WOKE historians!
The Amoral nature of the Profit Motive can and will distort anything and everything around itself for it's benefit and at the expense of knowledge.
💜 This...keep speaking the truth, battle 👍
When i open my eyes I immediately take zquil so I dont become woke 😂
Enjoy y'all's april fools.
While I know this video is completely satire, as an amateur historian of ancient Egyptian history, it’s extremely frustrating that in the last few years I’ve been harassed for being “woke” just because I made factual statements about Egyptian history and culture, such as the fact that ancient Egyptian men wore wigs and makeup, and that there were multiple female Kings of Egypt. I got called woke for accurately referring to Hatshepsut as a Thutmosid King instead of Queen, even though she was actually a King (although she first served as the great royal wife, aka queen, to Thutmose II before she crowned herself king after his death).
Yeah. That's the thing about satire, it's gotta be satirizing something. Everything said here is directly pulled from numerous reactionaries throughout UA-cam, congealed into a sarcastic rant. Sadly, all of these are mundane reactionary talking points
@@CynicalHistorian Truth! Satire is a challenge to create. In fact, I've only seen you and one other person do an April Fool's one today. The other video is by Geology Hub, making a super volcano out of Mole Hill, VA. Totally unexpected style and content for him, even satirizes himself. Decent enough that I'm spreading the word.
I'm glad both of you had some fun, and made my April Fool's Day.
💚✌️😹🍀
Oops, bad typing.
But what skin color was Cleopatra?
@@GSXP Is there a shade of color called Greek? 🤪
@@gabbi111969 tell afrocentrists that, LOL
Great video. I have still been enjoying your channel after many years.
I do love how several of those videos shown at the end are from History Legends, the premier punching bag and bad takes extraordnare.
I literally hadn't heard of him until making this video and couldn't be bothered to watch, given that he's obviously a reactionary
What takes does he have? I’m curious now.
@@CynicalHistorian I learned of him because he was favourite punching back of /rNonCredibleDefense. He is basically a guy who thinks that modern people are too effeminate and weak and we need to go back to MANLY MEN and DOING WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE
I have some requests for your Based on a True Story series. Could you please do some reviews of the movies "Malcom X" and "Geronimo: An American Legend?"
Of course they are woke. How are they supposed to work while sleeping ?
Basically the entire reason I'm now extra cautious around literally anything to do with history on UA-cam, especially after having been subscribed to channels like Thoughty2, AlternateHistoryHub, Jon Solo, and Fire of Learning (all of whom I knew had stupid takes on thing, but eventually it got to the point where I couldn't keep telling myself that their content outweighed their chauvinism, bigotry and grifting). I mostly only watch history, folklore and religion content recommended either by my dad or my girlfriend, both of whom have good judgement concerning this sort of content.
It's so awesome that we elected President Ron DeSantis and singlehandedly defeat woke. ❤❤❤
My favorite drag queen Rhonda Santis. Just look at those boots!
nuclear families pfft, get back at me when we've got fuckin thermonuclear families.
Wokeness has made the cost of bacon go up 8%. Thanks Joe Biden
It wasn’t wokeness, it was Obama’s tan suit.
@@svgalene465 Obama was a Kenyan Mau Mau sleeper agent
Finally, someone brave enough to standup to wokeness! Preach brother!
The more I watch this channel...the better I like it..
Real. Thank you Whatifalthist
The fedora is a nice touch. xD
Ya the hat is the main bread and butter of the character he is playing. Since he often will invoke it.
I wish history could be "only the facts", no opinions. But there are too many facts, they must be distilled down to which are important/significant, and whoever decides that is using some judgement/opinion. Society influences that judgement, and currently our society is split on nearly every topic.
the problem is some facts are more equal than other facts, so some have claimed.
I'm sure "slavery was actually good" and "current democrats are the ones who founded the KKK" are not historical facts
Howard Zinn had an absolutely brilliant analysis about that in the first chapter of his famous book "A People's History of the United States "
Is it bad that I can’t even look at this thumbnail without laughing? It really does feel like every anti-SJW thumbnail on UA-cam ever, and I get the feeling that you had way too much fun making it.
Also, I loved the inclusion of the Pink Floyd song at the end. That was perfect.
I really did have so much fun making it. A month or two ago, I posted the thumbnail on socials without any context saying it's "the most gloriously stupid thumbnail I've ever made." The response was basically, "yep, now WTF is this about." Stoic silence until yesterday ensued, LOL
If you study history truly. It’s hard not to become “woke”. We learn from history not to repeat the mistakes of the past. It’s important to learn about Slavery so that it never happens again.
This is the intermission segment of a 4 hour long breadtube video... 😅
You know which country truly has a dark heritage? Namibia.
Yeah, the Germans practiced genocide on them before the introducing it locally on German Jews.
I get the joke, but it's not about an unwillingness to interrogate reality, it's about power.
Power hierarchies are hard to maintain when the population asks questions. The attack on reality are efforts to reinforce their own power. It's straight out of the fascist playbook, but honestly this particular play is much, much older.
If you're referring to the moral panic about "wokeness," don't worry - this is merely 3 minutes out of 80, hint hint
I DONT WANNA BE WOKE!
...give me 5 more minutes, mom, plz.
Doesnt being woke also entail advocating policy? Saying that the us has been historically racist is one thing. But saying therefore blacks desearve reperotations is another thing, or blacks desearve more represenation
Huh I didn't know you were collabing with Whatifalthist
Its so accurate its painful
Well riddle me this Mr Woke historian: if the civil war was about slavery and America has done bad things then why can’t my Dad love me and why did my wife leave me?!
Checkmate!
The kazoo in the background 😂
I feel like I’m the only one who noticed it’s a kazoo version of that Marty Robbins song lol
Amazing kazoo song😂
Average Whatifalthist video:
No, it has to be longer and ramble on incoherently.
Monsieur Z, Whatifalthist, TIK History, and all triggered libs UA-camr c.2016 would like to sue you for plagiarizing their routine. Though you don't sound pretentious enough.
My girlfriend Woke me up so I had to break up with her, waking up is Anti America! Magotts 2024 😅
This is so much of what it's like now and thank you for pointing it out. I've unfollowed so many channels because they just dive head first into "EVERYTHING IS WOKE" bullshit in order to get clicks.
There is a very popular channel called "after skool sp?"that just put out an anti-intellectual video last week. It was pretty disturbing. They are busy on the propaganda over there.
Everything i hate is woke!
667th like, TAKE THAT SATAN! lol happy day all
You ruined the perfect number! How dare you!
I’m fine with you making woke videos, what I’m absolutely not okay with is the cringe this video made me feel.
Sounds like you're both woke and looking in a mirror... Do the opposite of that my friend. Take the red pill.
@@john2g1I take the black pill like a "real man" should
@@john2g1 red pill concept comes from a movie made by two trans women
@@medicinemouse7647 ???... ???... What? Okay for starters this video was made on April 1st so 90% of the comments mean the opposite of what they are saying. Keep this in mind.
It sounds like you understand what The Matrix is, and you seem to have picked the oddest detail to focus on. In The Matrix the red pill is a plot device, and has almost no meaning. The pill is symbolic, and doesn't actually exist.
The red pill as a concept comes from somewhere else it is often referred to as the manosphere. I don't think I can explain it to you without getting my comment banned, but TL;DR it's not good.
This was an April 1st video. MrMysteryman00 said a thing and I made a follow up joke. The red pill as a concept today is opposed to what it meant in the original movie.
@@john2g1 ah ok
HISTORY LEGENDS MENTIONED
Nice. When do we get to see Comrade Cheka’s response?
Also, there is a certain irony when YT attaches a Disney commercial to this video. Not just a Disney commercial, but a plea to Disney shareholders to vote to keep the current BOD.
I hadn't even thought of making a Chyka response, but it would be really funny
Oh, yeah! AChyka response video would be awesome! 💚✌️😸
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
MY SOURCE IS I MADE IT THE FUCK UP... you Sourcey Jack Warrior!!
2:09 Movie?
You love it when someone shits on Wilson, so I suggest you go look up what Vlogging Through History and Chris did there about Wilson on April 1. Not 2024 but one or two years ago I believe.
I know it. We hung out a couple years ago and had a good laugh
@@CynicalHistorian What kind of a foolish person do you have to be to install a cage around the one black guy in that office when there had been no trouble before? Some Klansmen sympathizers...
I for one am certainly not in denial. I'm not. I'M NOT.
❤
1:41 what was he going to say here? I guess we’ll never know.
He was about to talk about the evils of international jewelry. Those damn diamond companies are evil AND woke!
Sleepy gang sleepy gang
It was April Fools day, but I hope there's a planned end to publishing this video.
I also wonder if an alternative history might make our points better. Specifically, what if the reasoning process used at founding was still used but the founding assumption that elected aristocrats should rule with love of virtue (virtue being determined by well reasoned arguments in open debate) was replaced by a broader selection of persons. Protections against non-equal treatment between aristocrats would be extended to all voters (as constituents of the ruling authority that the government works for) I know that your specialty is struggles that turn violent so maybe this alternative history would not have enough of that. But I am pretty sure that this history split off when Grant's political party became afraid of the people as a body in the southern states.
woo!
We've got a number of theater companies here in Asheville that would love to have you perform your stand-up routine!
My country had to deal with a junta because of woke things like the thing my ancestors made(democracy).
That background music is killin me🤣🤣
i mean it was kinda about "states rights", the right to keep slaves.... that much is true...
Before a few weeks ago they all thought DEI was Dale Earnhardt Inc.
DEI is where you buy camping supplies.
10 out of 10
I would honestly be interested in a historical perspective on the more recent culture war, say, starting with the Tea Party. There has been quite the shift in politics, the discourse about and within it and it’s sometimes not so easy to see the forest while we’re in it.
Look up Pat Buchanan. He’s pretty much the starting point of the “culture war”.
I did a whole series on political polarization and one of the episodes was about the culture war. That one ended with the Clinton admin, but I covered the tea party in the Neoliberalism episode and the most recent stuff in the technology episode. Here's the supercut of all them: ua-cam.com/video/i-E14o6Do9Y/v-deo.html
Sadly TeamUA-cam age-restricted it, despite none of its constituent parts being so
@@CynicalHistorian Thanks a lot! And great job on un-woking History ;)
ahahaha! sarcasm is not dead. :)
LOL this is like 12 year olds attempt at an anti SJW video from 2017 😅
Im going to pass this around my friends...this is perfect
It somehow seems that at the very end you've walked me to the edge of a cesspool...
Those damned history books don't care about my feelings at all.
Ughh I cant believe my favorite historian chamnel went WOKE. Looks like im gonna have to go to Prager U to find REAL HISTORY
Thanks for reminding me about the "woke" military ads the USA has and the manly Russian ads. Surely the Russians haven't lost multiple ships to a country without a Navy since then, right?
Thank you! I quit my job because of this! I wanted to sleep until 10:30 each morning, but they wanted me woke.
Yes, I know, the joke was tortured more than an anti-woke UA-camr's logic.
I have a klub for all the non woke people still around. I call it: The Kool Kids Klub, or K.K.K. for short
Is this a glorified April Fools Joke? If it is then this was well done 👏👏👏
Based?
I can't find your citation in any sources, footnotes, OR the bibliography!
THE WOKES TOOK AWAY OUR RIGHT TO HAVE SLOPPY KISSES ON FISHING TRIPS
It’s called Karma.
Ain't he right.
This is the funniest shit I've seen all day, it's so damn accurate it's unbelievable.
1:38
LMFAO! its sad how accurate that is
brought to you by the "coalition for an international sarcasm font".
Your fedora is punishable by 5 years in prison
Don't worry Cynical... Once we (who? me? ohh no, no...) burn all the books, especially history books, there will be no more woke historians. There will be no more historians at all - except history of Crypto-Currencies :) ha-ha-ha (Gotham.... Joker's laughter)
...btw, like the hat...