Dear Future Me: I started HRT

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  • Опубліковано 16 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 61

  • @YukkoEX
    @YukkoEX 4 дні тому +23

    this vid popped up in mah feed so wanna say congrats!

  • @Suited_Nat
    @Suited_Nat 10 днів тому +126

    As an enby that’s planning to get t and top surgery, this made me really emotional. Because I resonate a lot with what you said.
    I know you said you did this for yourself, but I want to thank you Tree, for sharing it with us. It allows us within the community to feel connected, and not alone.
    It makes me feel a bit less terrible about my own doubts and dysphoria. I’m 5 years your junior, but this, and the possibility of my future, gives me hope.
    You deserve to feel loved without condition. I hope your future is bright, just as I try to strive for my own to be the same.
    Such beautiful words, and honestly, I’m writing this in tears. So thank you tree, from an enby that gets how you feel. Maybe not in the same exact way, but I get it.

  • @littlecatfaceboi3072
    @littlecatfaceboi3072 10 днів тому +126

    remember your existence is yours to define and your essence is yours to keep, the body is simply a way of expression to be molded and shaped in whatever way you need to feel comfortable, your memories are your being and will always be there to look back on, your decisions are your own and you can never be controlled, people who truly care will always stay by your side and will show you the love you deserve and those who fake it will flake away and be forgotten to never harm you again. so remember, you must never forget, you are who you say you are so make sure your words are heard and let everybody know it -sincerely Onyx, a being that only exists in a shattered mind, who you'll never be able to truly say hi to but will always be here to show you all the love and support you need from afar.

    • @treejpgttv
      @treejpgttv  10 днів тому +14

      thank you for the kind words ;;; your support over the past few months has meant more to me than you could ever know. tyty for being around and being you. ❤❤❤

  • @almondayo
    @almondayo 9 днів тому +55

    That feeling of grief that you didn't do the thing that you needed to do for yourself sooner is ... extremely relatable
    Also, you have a beautiful way with words.

  • @derpydergann
    @derpydergann 3 дні тому +2

    POG be who ya wanna be!

  • @WeirdThingOfDoom
    @WeirdThingOfDoom 7 днів тому +24

    This is so heartful, so tender and true. I am glad that you found your voice. Good luck,your friendly neighborhood transmasc

  • @kaoru9829
    @kaoru9829 6 днів тому +25

    I was not expecting to cry watching this video.
    I was born female, and I’m fine enough with that. I like being a girl, and I don’t want to be anything else either. I find belonging in my identities as a lesbian and an autistic girl. I hated what puberty did to me though, and for years I struggled with it. Periods, breasts, stretch marks, hair, things I wanted to hide from others. When I was around 17 I finally got an IUD, hoping it would make it easier. There was a chance it wouldn’t, but thankfully it did. I am so much more myself ever since. I don’t live in fear of my own body as much anymore. I’ve grown up a lot since then, and allowed myself to love the parts of myself that society doesn’t want me to, while rejecting the things that society expects me to passively accept. I never wanted to grow up into a woman, and I still don’t really. So I am a girl, a lesbian, and autistic. And I feel at peace with my identity.
    I hope your journey with HRT goes well! I’m sure this is something you have agonised over, but I’m sure you’ve made the right decision and I hope you get what you want out of it. Be kind to yourself and good luck!! 💚

  • @timmeismypegion
    @timmeismypegion 10 днів тому +37

    Just wanted to appreciate your writing... You put your emotions beautifully in words. I wish you happiness and I'm gonna support and cheer you from far. You got this!

  • @livvy94
    @livvy94 3 дні тому +1

    I'm two years on HRT and I very much feel like the same person, just less anxious and more ready to face the world. I hope you have a rewarding next few words full of friends and live music and art and laughter!

  • @gabidagabida
    @gabidagabida 10 днів тому +19

    This was a beautiful and moving piece, I don’t talk about it almost at all but I am gender fluid but I keep it to myself because I too feel like a burden but also worry about being loved, my ex partner had to ask his friends if they would date someone who I at the time was bi. Felt like a knife in my back but I could live with it because I cared, I told him I was gender fluid and he said “as long as you don’t dress like a guy or go by guy stuff we are cool” needless to say I left him not long after that 😀 but we all have our own circumstances and I hope you can find peace with whoever you become or want to be 🫶I feel very moved by what you have written and I appreciate you taking the time to post this, I feel very scene with this ☺️

  • @ZiriO
    @ZiriO День тому +1

    As an enby much older, who found this landing on their feed, congratulations and good luck Tree. May your future self that reads this find what they need, your path is yours alone to walk but there are others older and younger who have taken a path not unlike it. May you always have love and support when you need it, and advice when you're uncertain, and most of all, congratulations. It might not have come with a burst of fireworks and fanfare, but I hope one day it will feel less foreign and your future self that read this once find nothing but joy where uncertainty once lay. Thank you for sharing this moment with us, we're cheering you on from the sidelines!

  • @ZanasGC
    @ZanasGC 10 днів тому +28

    Hey, I'm a new subscriber, but I just want to say I am so incredibly proud of you for giving yourself a chance. As someone who is trans but hasn't started HRT yet, I've also been hyping it up in my mind. I don't know how it'll feel when I get there, but when I do in the (hopefully near) future, I hope I'm able to be just as proud of myself as I am of you right now. I'm wishing you all the best. The journey probably won't be straightforward or easy, but I'm sure you already knew that. I admire your strength. I'll definitely drop by when you upload more. Also.. Thank you for inspiring me, Tree. ✨💖✨

  • @majorqueue1676
    @majorqueue1676 4 дні тому +1

    some of these words are mine, too. thank you for giving them a voice, and for sharing.

  • @sparklefurs
    @sparklefurs 3 дні тому +1

    This video hit hard. I hope your journey is so very kind to you. Thank you for sharing this & it made me cry so much (important, carthartic feelings, thank you). This is beautiful.

  • @chuvinhadearroz
    @chuvinhadearroz 6 днів тому +6

    damn, your voice is beautiful... you're a beautiful soul! i hope your hrt goes well, tree!

  • @Kazu_251
    @Kazu_251 9 днів тому +15

    As a non-binary person who just stumbled upon this video who can relate to a lot of what you said I just want to say, I wish you the absolute best along this journey❤

  • @salemAudio
    @salemAudio 6 днів тому +6

    i connected with a shocking amount of this; adjust maybe two sentences, and another me could have written this- maybe a future me will write something like this?
    I try not to be too hard on myself for a lot of these issues- freedom and also wanting to just have certainty in something to call myself, instead of nothing ever feeling quite right. The feeling of conditionality to those around you that care about you, the unsurity of how they might see you, taking up space, its taxing to go through life with.
    Waiting for the world to settle into somewhere softer as you said, and hoping the same for you!

  • @Typeofcat
    @Typeofcat 9 днів тому +7

    You have such a beautiful way with words. Thank you for having the courage to share such vulnerable thoughts online and in doing so help others in similar situations. I really need these kinds of channels when times get rough, and watching these proves I'm not alone. Thank you

  • @jwwatches
    @jwwatches 5 днів тому +4

    Three years into my own HRT, I feel the same way. Thank you for posting this, this is very beautiful and heart wrenching to see. I relate to it a lot, and I feel like I'm emotionally the same place you are, despite the amount of time I've been here. Thank you.

  • @CrimsonKamina
    @CrimsonKamina 9 днів тому +10

    This is my first time seeing your channel, I am wishing you the best and I will be subscribing with high hopes and expectations that when you return to this video you are happy, safe, and in a bright and wonderful future. You got this!

  • @bruhman5829
    @bruhman5829 4 дні тому

    Right on sibling. Don’t let anyone tell you who you are but you, you hear?

  • @nobodywashere3123
    @nobodywashere3123 6 днів тому +4

    As someone whos been constantly wondering if i should start. Be proud u had more guts than i probably ever will. Best of luck stranger! Safe travels!

  • @QuantemDeconstructor
    @QuantemDeconstructor 4 дні тому

    When humanity was born, there weren't any adjectives, it's up to you to decide who you are and will be
    Be strong in this journey, it can be a hard road but the end will be WELL worth it

  • @neminem233
    @neminem233 День тому +1

    damn this was beautiful

  • @blueklick8567
    @blueklick8567 4 дні тому +1

    For me it was a paralyzing fear that stopped me from taking the first dose. I looked at the pills I had gotten that day after months of waiting, of seeing if it was worth it and on that Tuesday it sat waiting. And once again on Wednesday it was still waiting. I couldn’t bring myself to take that first dose for a while. I knew that when I did everything would start, everything would change, and I would have to live with my choice here forever.
    It was on Thursday I threw caution to the wind and took my first dose. It tasted like candy. It felt sweat. It felt nice.
    Nothing in that moment changed but myself, it was an active choice. Sometimes I felt worry afterwards, but it was a resolve that still carry’s me to this day. I now have been on hrt for 2 and a half years now barely ever skipping a day. I feel renewed and it’s like finally stepping into the light after living in a cave for so long. I no longer live in that paralyzing fear.
    There will always be worry there. A worry that this took too long, that there isn’t time left, that there’s a chance you’re wrong about your happiness. The peace that came with hrt, for me at least, quelled all worries I could even just a few months in. That peace carry’s me on even now.
    I hope that peace will help you too. I wish you luck my friend. It’s a long road ahead, but the path is sweeter than honey and lined with golden dreams. I hope you’re doing alright and wish you nothing but the best.

  • @AkitsukiGames
    @AkitsukiGames 18 годин тому

    Holy fuck. This was like a Rose but with thorns, beautiful, but painful. This is coming from a guy who is just pansexual, I have never truly understood what HRT or anything truly meant to someone, the excitement, the fears, the questions, all of it. This truly opened my eyes to what it feels like for someone who is doing HRT or trying to. I've never heard of you before and I am so glad I do now. Everything you said was beautiful and solemn. You are an inspiration to those who are going through this as well. It hit hard to hear your partner say something like that, it stung me and I don't even know him. I was able to visualize and put myself in your shoes just by listening and I swear I didn't realize I was shedding tears. Truly you are one of a kind.

  • @PinBiohazard
    @PinBiohazard 6 днів тому +3

    Congratulations to your future self, i hope your current and future selves will be the happiest you could be, the first step is always the most difficult but you are on a journey to be just you ❤

  • @friedfriedchicken
    @friedfriedchicken 4 дні тому +1

    I don't know why I clicked this video (I just wanted some audio, whether it be music or an essay or whatever while I played MineCraft), but I was not expecting such a profound cut into what it means to simply be, to exist as someone that the world wasn't expecting or built with in mind. I'm cis but GNC and POC and although my place in the world is not the same as yours I can see your path near mine and I wish you nothing but the best of luck going forward. I have friends who have worn the same shoes as you and they've come to be the best people in my life. Please, take care and good luck! The world is a rough place but you're carving it to fit your needs and I'm rooting for you!!!

  • @Guns367
    @Guns367 3 дні тому +1

    I didn't expect to encounter honest to God raw sincerity and vulnerability while browsing my feed today. For what it's worth from a stranger, I hope things work out for you.
    While it's not the literal exact same anxiety, I get it. Taking big changes in your life is scary. The doubts and worries set in fast, and you think about how comfortable you are in your current spot. But you have to make those steps, you owe it to yourself to see the other side. The only thing to do is keep going and when you're on the other side, look around and ask if you are happy. If not then you changed things once and you can always keep changing.

  • @steamfang5371
    @steamfang5371 5 днів тому +5

    I just got suggested this video randomly but I ended up watching the whole thing. This is entirely relatable. I did not start T until after turning 21, and honestly I stresscried not long after starting. That feeling of grief for not starting sooner. I'm 25 now, and I have a video similar to this that I haven't watched yet. But i might because of this. My gender is ambiguous, but that's okay. My transition is weird and messy but I'm happier, y'know.
    I hope you feel loved, I hope the journey is what you want it to be. Interesting, mundane, whatever brings comfort. You deserve to feel happy in your body and in your personal life. Take care of yourself Tree, and get plenty of rest! I don't have a way to convey how I feel, really. But I'm hopeful, y'know? You deserve to be loved, cared for and happy.
    Thank you for this video, honestly. I didn't expect to see a random video and get emotional but here I am. And I honestly kind of appreciate it.

  • @zero_stasis
    @zero_stasis 4 дні тому

    I'm proud of you, and I hope that when you look back on this video you'll have the answers you needed.

  • @luigisnose
    @luigisnose 5 днів тому +3

    You sound like such a kind person, I truly hope that all goes well for you. I can't say I understand the struggles you are facing, but I do sympathize with you and hope the best for you. Never give up on yourself, because you're worth all the love you're putting into yourself.❣️I hope in time you'll be able to feel that. I'm glad you seem to have people in your life who want to love and support you through this journey, even if they may not know how. When things get tough, don't be scared to lean on them, you don't have to be alone with your worries. 💜

  • @JinxKirin
    @JinxKirin 10 днів тому +6

    🫂💕sending you the warmest of hugs! not out of pity but out of joy for you and your future. There are many unknowns, of course, but isn’t it always? And maybe the future you won’t have everything figured out yet, and that’s okay. the you of today has already accomplished so much - you made the choice to live on your own terms, walk your own path. And this character, this strength, is already yours ❤

  • @ДаниилАмиров-ь5б
    @ДаниилАмиров-ь5б 5 днів тому +1

    got tears in my eyes watching this
    currently thinkings about hrt. and this video hit some points definitely :c
    be happy. and thank you

  • @Cyl14s
    @Cyl14s 6 днів тому +2

    Holy shit this actually made me cry. Like, I'm not much of a cryer, I dont cry often, and honestly, I spent 2024 without shedding a single tear. Even when the election results came and I was full of despair, I don't think that worry for the future broke me down to tears.
    But when hearing you speak, and talk so intimately about yourself and your own worries, a world similar to mine but so differently viewed, I really started to choke up.
    Thank you for sharing your voice. And I hope the months of HRT and even the years of living with it are invigorating. You deserve it.

  • @kaivaylo0259
    @kaivaylo0259 9 днів тому +5

    Hi! I don't really know what I'm typing here. i just, felt compelled to. I want you to know how much these words meant, and the impact it had on me as a person. I'm glad you can share such vulnerable moments. I'm just typing this off my mind, I don't know how to word things properly. I just hope you keep being you for who you want to be, not for how others pecieve you. There will always be people who root for you and will accept you

  • @animeaddict2202
    @animeaddict2202 5 днів тому +1

    A very moving video, and very well organized words for such turbulent thoughts. I know you said this video is directed towards the person you become, but is also very emotionally powerful for many listening right now.
    I've enjoyed watching some of your content up to now, decided to finally go ahead and subscribe.
    I look forward to seeing more of you going forward as you continue on your journey, hope to support you along the way friend.

  • @EmshrebleArt
    @EmshrebleArt 10 днів тому +3

    ♥ much love tree

  • @junoeggers8878
    @junoeggers8878 5 днів тому +1

    Thank you for sharing such beauty, strength and vulnerability. It mimics a lot of me fears, joy, and concerns. I'm now a new sub and I hope to see more from you.

  • @MrsRespawn
    @MrsRespawn 8 днів тому +2

    You are an amazing person! I wish you the best on your Journey and hope you stay happy

  • @NotGabiTime
    @NotGabiTime 7 днів тому +1

    I'm proud of you! ❤

  • @satellafelix4597
    @satellafelix4597 10 днів тому +2

    only recently subscribed, but i’m rooting for you! being so honest must’ve been tough-you’re definitely very strong

  • @ItsAllNunya
    @ItsAllNunya 4 дні тому

    9:30 i think this line...u know how things will end up. Ur preparing for it. I dont know u but it made me angry to hear what they said to u. This isnt a "break up with them" comment. Just. Dont forget u have more worth than being hot to somebody. Love is more than that. Be well, Tree.

  • @aaahhhwhy
    @aaahhhwhy 9 днів тому +1

    Congrats I have a similar story and went through a similar dilemma but I’m happier now and that’s all I needed at the end of the day.

  • @mellowmatcha
    @mellowmatcha 6 днів тому

    I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!

  • @LostSoulsStation
    @LostSoulsStation 9 днів тому +3

    Instantly subscribed after watching this. Thank you for sharing such a venerable moment with us. As a transman who is struggling with getting on hrt and struggling just being seen as who I am, I felt hopeful watching this video that maybe I can make one for myself when the time eventually hopefully comes. Your words were beautifully written aswell, you definitely captured feelings I didn't have the words for and put them out beautifully.
    I hope you're able to look back on this video fondly. That you're able to see how brave you are for recording this and even letting us share this moment with you. That you're able to see that you were able to take those first steps despite the conflicting feelings, and you're able to inspire others to do the same.

  • @usbgamers123
    @usbgamers123 8 днів тому

    I hope you fun on your journey

  • @Neloch4
    @Neloch4 8 днів тому

    cheers.

  • @minyichen8071
    @minyichen8071 10 днів тому +1

    I'll be sure to remind you in six months to come back.

  • @fallen7779
    @fallen7779 10 днів тому +3

  • @azaelvonhohenheim9570
    @azaelvonhohenheim9570 9 днів тому +1

    As a person how live with a lot of gender feelings, i hug you. We deserve a world of the seize of our dreams.

  • @lyubomirhristov6488
    @lyubomirhristov6488 9 днів тому +1

    So u are enby?good for u

  • @Toxeclipse
    @Toxeclipse 5 днів тому

    What are your pronouns? Just gotta check.

    • @rainiestday
      @rainiestday 4 дні тому

      in the video they say their pronoun preferences are fluid (mainly they/them or he/they, sometimes she/her)

  • @littlecatfaceboi3072
    @littlecatfaceboi3072 10 днів тому +3

    first :D

  • @JamSessionsEX
    @JamSessionsEX 9 днів тому

    Don't wind up regretting it later.

    • @parisouu
      @parisouu 7 днів тому +10

      They wont. Trust.

    • @Josilyne
      @Josilyne 7 днів тому +13

      1% of trans people end up detransitioning
      Even less detransition because of regret
      I don't think they will

  • @amorphous_asterism
    @amorphous_asterism 9 днів тому +4

    i’m set for my first appointment next month, this video made me feel very emotional 🫂 i haven’t told anyone yet so this feels comforting ty yt algorithm 🙏
    wishing the best for what the future holds for you 🫰

    • @budzee313
      @budzee313 7 днів тому

      I hope it goes well!