Hasidic couple's wedding dance explained
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- Опубліковано 26 сер 2024
- The Hasidic wedding ends with a traditional dance called a Mitzvah Tantz. It's a very serious moment. When I recently posted a clip of the dance and called it "emotional", I got thousands of comments asking where the emotion is. This explains where I come from in seeing it as emotional. This was originally posted on my TikTok account.
To understand the process of arranged Hasidic marriages, watch my video with Pearl from Hasidic Williamsburg who has raised many children and grandchildren in this tradition.
• An insider reveals Has...
This is a repost from tiktok. My original post of the dance was also on Tiktok here: www.tiktok.com/@friedavizel/video/7380154263969746219?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7248741218234205738
Dear Frieda, I am constantly blown away by your ability, as someone who has chosen to leave the community, to give over information and nuance with reverence and respect to the beauty of the minhagim (customs) while being transparent and honest. I think you are a unicorn in this respect. Though I am sure you have your own personal issues with things, your ability to cherish or at least respect the pynimius( how would you translate that?) of the customs, is really astonishing. You really are being a kiddish Hashem! Shkoyach!
Pynimius i would translate as the "internal" aspect of something
@@DahliaRaz Yes, thank you! I guess I would add "spiritual" internal aspect.
Wow! I'm a chasidish girl and never heard mitzvah tantz explained so so well! Thnx for taking the time to break it down for us!
Frieda thank you.
Commitment, responsibility, devotion and stepping into a lifetime of the unknown. ❤
I love love love learning from you. I live in Ecuador and my friends tease me for talking about Judaism, kosher food, Shabbat, etc. It's my belief that learning about other cultures and religions makes us better people. I have only one thing on my bucket list...to take your tours.
Frieda- what a beautiful and informative explanation of the wedding experience in much of Hasidic culture.
Very informative analysis. Only a scoffer fathoms the oceans depths by looking at the surface.
I always appreciate your thoughtfulness.
It's similar to the arranged marriages and weddings in Arab, majority-Muslim countries.
Well said. Thank you for understanding that!
Pearl, she should live and be well, has said a number of times that they are not arranged marriages but arranged dates/meetings, so to speak. What I am gathering from the different stories that I have heard or read is that the traumatic experiences happen because the girl has low self esteem and the parents are pushing a match. She doesn't have the strength to say no or thinks that she has no choice and feels like she is being forced into the match or is actually pushed into it. This is not the way it's supposed to be. I read a comment from one ultra chassidic woman who said that she turned down 20 boys before saying yes to her husband. I think the other problem I am seeing is that in these difficult situations, the parents themselves don't know what they are doing and that's why the girl ends up having a really bad experience. More needs to be done to prevent these things from happening and to protect young people and it's not just the girls. Sometimes it's the boys.
Blaming a girl's traumatic experiences on a lack of self esteem makes me want to vomit. literally. and my self esteem is just fine, thank you.
I remember my wedding day and it's special holiness; how people asked me to pray for their special intentions and how I had been taught that on that day, as the bride, I had the potential to bring remedies to other folk's pain. I felt so grateful to be of use to Heaven on that day...
Beautiful music, beautiful couple, beautiful explanation - the world needs to know that happy times don't always mean loud music, screaming and wild dancing. As we know, about 1/2 of marriages end in divorce and curious as to the divorce rate in the observant community. Frieda, you understand people without judging. You would make a great professor.
Divorce rate is very low. Marriage is started with the intention that it will last forever. In the big world out there often that's not the case.
While the divorce rate has gone up in the Orthodox community it is still very low.
But the rise is actually a good thing, because a lot of the stigma around divorce is gone so people aren't scared to leave bad marriages anymore.
With all the things a bride and groom have to do for their wedding, imagine being asked for prayers from their guests. It's a lovely touch and activity for the wedding couple. 🥰
Thank you for explaining this so well. I think it is beautiful to pray so fervently for others on your wedding day.
I prefer seeing a couple getting married who takes the commitment seriously to one that doesn't. We can only wish them well. (Great looking schtreimel btw)
Wow,your explanatioin,telling hasidic wedding was really something special what I never heard before...again wow!😮❤
I’m Muslim but I find it really interesting learning about the Jewish Hasidic community 😊 thanks
In my opinion, Judaism and Islam has got many similarities . Most Muslim marriages are arranged by parents . But Judaism is more advanced than Islam in many ways . So read the Tanakh you will know your religion much better .
@@k.k.5046 arranged marriages are a cultural thing it is not prescribed by Islam but yes many Muslims do partake. There are many similarities however their are fundamental differences such as our belief of the Prophets following Moses such as Prophet Jesus and Prophet Muhammad peace be upon them both. But I respect people of all faiths
@@k.k.5046 But yes We are encouraged to Read the Torah as it is part of our faith to believe in The Torah and Gospels which were previously untouched and sent by God to man - I’m sure many people didn’t know this 😊
@@canders207 In my opinion, many Koran important verses were stolen from the Bible. Check the dates Torah-Bible-Koran . So nothing new under the Sun .
@@canders207 Ok you read those books ... and Ibrahim, Dawud and Suleyman ain't Arabs at all - more likely Jews of Koran .
What ??? 😊
You always explain everything so beautifully
I agree with you.
Frieda - wow. A valuable deconstruction and understanding. Keep aiming your curiosity, reverence, and quests for deeper human understanding - anywhere. Will be watching, and remain appreciative. Light around you.
Thank you so much for this beautiful and heartfelt explanation of the Mitzwah Dance.
The deaper meaning of a mitzvah tanz it that at the end of the wedding the angles come to dance with the bride and groom, which is another layer that adds to the seriousness of the occasion.
Awww.... I'd love to think of angels dancing with me and my husband!
Wow thank you for your insights! As a Baalat Tshuvah with marital ties to the Hassidic communities (and having served families as a midwife in Williamsburg ), this is so helpful. Your outlook is so positive and deep. 🤟
Dear Frieda, thank you. What you’re doing on this channel goes such a long way for fostering understanding and, consequently, is the most potent antidote for antisemitism. Who knew? A lady sometimes has to step out of the Chasidish box in order to step in to the most honorable role of a tzadik! 😊
It won't do anything against antisemitism but it will do a lot to teach and wake up fellow Jews. Frieda has reached more souls than anyone of her ancestors did all the way back to Sarah. Adhd Sarah only taught the women while freida is teaching/reaching both men and women.
Proud of you, Frieda.
ביסט געבליבען א געטרייע חסידיש קינד. נאך אלע מעשות
Absolutely right,couldn’t have said it better
Deep down Frieda might be more of a Chasidish NESHAMA than most of us
Thank you for this incredible explanation. It really made it more clear for this of us who have never experienced this like me
Frieda, I have learned so much from your videos. Lo yehudi, but much respect to you and the fascinating information I get from watching your videos.
We love your passion to educate. All I saw was what these young people are going through and I too feel emotional for the couple. I don’t like when people are quick to judge using their preconceived ideas of what a wedding couple should look like to them.
Keep educating Frida and break down barriers. I’m a UK Jew I’d love to come and see you one day for a tour ❤
Thanks Frieda, your explanations are great - and so important for those of us not in the know :)
I like your videos bc although I’m not Jewish when I was a little girl I read some books by a Jewish lady. Her name was Sydney. It was called all of a kind family- it was a series and I really liked it. My mom also bought me the soundtrack to fiddler on the roof. I still know the words! She bought me black dolls too, although I’m white. It was a value she had. I think it’s important to give love whenever we have an opportunity. I don’t have time or energy to search for and read books but your videos are short. I think some of what you said in this one applies to all marriages. That it represents a hope for renewal socially because all people want to be loved. Anyway thank you. I saw some Hasidic people when I was in Brooklyn and they were nice to me and there was a really gorgeous store that was Jewish with children’s toys. I always wished I could have a religion but I never found one although I tried, I mean I always wanted a religious community. Because I have beliefs, just not a community. I’m in Chicago now and I’m not crazy about big city crime, chaos and dissolution. Someday I’d like to maybe try as a project an indoor children’s play center. Not as a business but more for community. I thought it might be safer, out of the weather, a place for parents to relax while their kids are occupied and be able to socialize with each other. It had crossed my mind that Williamsburg might be a good location as it has probably lots of parents and children that are nice people and probably fairly diligent about family and community. Anyway thank you.
I loved the All of a Kind Family books as a child. 50 years later, I still think of them in such a happy way.
@@shellefishgirl I know and they had such good role modeling in them. I looked up Newberry award winners recently- that’s for children’s books and it goes back to 1900 or so, there’s Newberry and Caldecott. And just to tell you, that is one place to look if you like if you like old fashioned childhood books.
As per our unusual Frieda you have explained this so eloquently with great detail and emotion. Thank you. 😊✡️
That's fascinating. Thank you for the explanation and the care and attention to detail. I would have been wondering if I'd seen the video without this context, because the music sounds joyful, but the couple look very solemn. When a newlywed couple dance in other cultures it's a very joyful event. My favourite photo from our wedding day is my husband and I having our first dance 💓
Beautifully explained and SO complex! Thank you.
Thank you Frieda for articulating and explaining those deep moments in the life of two souls who have consciousness of who they are, for people missing the meaning of Jewish orthodox marriage. No, people are not miserable. They know the intense values in life (even if I agree with you that those arranged marriages could be a disaster) The best is to have the intensity, the meaning but also the romance, the love and the emotions…
Thank you for adding such important context for this moment!
UA-cam needs more videos like this. Thank you for sharing.
Wonderful explanation as always Frieda. A dank
This is so cool to watch and learn more about! Ive only been to Chabad weddings which dont have this as part of them - neat to see other Chasidic groups and their minhagim (traditions)
Greatful for your channel Frieda! What an amazing view into a Chasidic life that I havent seen as much of
Thank you so much for helping me to understand this dance Frieda. You have really enlightened me.
Thank you, Frieda. I knew something about the customs but definitely not all. ✡️❤️
thank you for sharing your experience and perspective Frida. It's so valuable for outsiders to understand so that may appreciate the moment better.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful, meaningful moment with us, and thank you for your thoughtful explanation. ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you for your beautiful thoughtful faithful
explanation of this wedding. Frieda, you rock!!!
Always impressed by your ability to articulate so well deep or complex concepts that can be very difficult to explain outsiders
Dear Frieda, this is why I listen to you. Who but you could explain this, with such love and respect? Thank you.
Frieda, you're remarkable. You have a gift, or you are a gift. Either way you open the eyes of those who would see and it is I believe the right word is, a mitzvah. 💌
Everything you put out is absolutely amazing Frieda, thank you so much!❤
Thank you so much and for all the comments :)
Wow! You explained it so well. You are truly gifted with the power to explain complex concepts into simple words...
Thank you for explaining. They are probably teenagers, even though their religiousness has been their whole life, that is a lot to expect from such young people. I wish them much happiness.
I always appreciate your thoughtful explanations. I was touched hearing about the wedding rituals and the meaning. As someone from the outside, I imagined a Hasidic wedding would be full of many emotions, but I didn't understand the complexity. Thank you!
Thank you as usual for your informative and compassionate takes, Frieda. I knew about guests asking for blessings from the bride, but I didn't know that both the bride and the groom carry those blessings into the mitzvah tantz to send them up. Really wish everyone would take marriage and community so seriously!
I like it that even though you went out of the Hassidic congregation you speak about its people and traditions with respect and sometimes even with longing. Which is different from other people I heard of talking about their experience.
By the way I'm an observant jew but not in the same way so it is also interesting for me to watch this and other videos
Thank you for this beautiful explanation.
Thank you for your lovely explanation. Now I understand how this dance is so emotional for you and others.
Beautiful explanation, Frieda. May we all understand the depth and beauty of a lifelong commitment to each other and to the 'nations' that follow. I love how the Hasidic community celebrates marriage, it's humbling and profound.
Thank you for explaining this dance which, I feel, still holds all the emotion for you. The intensity comes through when describe the event.
I found it absolutely beautiful and emotionally touching
Beautiful- Frieda, thank you for sharing.
I have been to a couple I also felt the emotions as well.Very beautiful moments.
I respect you so much for being positive about this. I cannot get behind Hareidi Judaism but am excited to see it for myself in a small way on tour I booked with you at the end of August!
Frieda, as usual a very informative sensitive intelligent explanation of a time honored tradition. Good for you! I enjoy your presentations. Regards from Modiin Israel.
Toda Modiin Yakir/a
Beautiful explanation - and a touching example of the context you're able to provide.
🙏 thank you Signal Hill Hiker
Great explanation, as always! The one thing not mentioned is the custom's kabbalistic significance (a wedding symbolizes the manifestation of G-d's essence in creation, the unification of the male and female attributes of the divine). While most contemporary Chassidim are not familiar with the intricacies of Kabbalah, they are aware that there is a kabbalistic and sacred background to the Mitzva Tantz. In fact when non-hasidim criticize the custom as frivolous or immodest, the typical Chassidic rejoinder tends to be that it's a hallowed custom passed down from previous generations, with deep kabbalistic meaning, and therefore not to be taken lightly. This is why at Chassidic Rebbe's court weddings, the Mitzva Tantz is felt to be the highest and most spiritual part of the celebration, and the assumption is that the Rebbe is engaging in deep inner Kabbalistic and spiritual work through and during the Mitzva Tantz.
Thank you frieda, this is so interesting and it deepens my appreciation of Hasidic weddings.
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful experience. You have taught me so much. Thank you
Thank you for an emotionally intelligent explanation. Offering such insights helps to deflate outsiders' misconceptions and allows the development of more realistic perceptions. I truly appreciate your work and thoughtfulness.
Thank you! I appreciate your supportive comment.
Thank you, Frieda. Never would I have understood any of that without you as my guide.
Thank you for explaining with so much clarity and respect.
Thank you for listening Maureen ❤️
Again, Frieda, thank You so much for your thoughtful way of giving me knowledge and understanding.
Lisa Johansson, Gothenburg Sweden. ❤
Still raining here🌦🌦🌦 🇸🇪
Beautiful wishing everyone a wonderful day
You explained it just perfectly
Wow. I'm so glad that you explained this from your viewpoint.
I got married rosh hoidesh odor bais this year , prior to this I daven to Kedishes Yom Tev grave in Sighet for the success of my new life and for happiness and health for everybody in my life , and I can really relate to everything you have just said and judging by the beautiful words you have spoken indeed only now I can really understand and feel the sanctity of that moment . Thank you for this clip and may Eibishter give you only happiness !
Just beautiful explanation as a frum Jew i think you are so 100%
Frieda as always, you are amazing.
You explained it so well. My only comment is what you said about arranged marriage. I know people who dated 8 - 9 times and the marriage failed. No system is perfect. But in the arranged marriage system, and in the yeshivish communities as well especially if the bride and groom are very young it's a given, that he will have a mentor, to guide him. Still, one common denominator is to be a mentch, and most problems will not surface.
Thank you for the detailed explanation; it was helpful. 👍🏻☺️
Fascinating! Thank you for this explanation.
Beautiful explanation and I understand completely.
You make me smile Frieda. You are precious.❤
If you are seeking, make it be G-d’s will that you find your life-mate soon and without delay. ❤
So informative. Thank you for helping me understand more! ❤
Thank you so much for listening without judgement, it's a relief to get thoughtful comments. :)
Beautiful, sensitive interpretation of this powerful moment as the kala & chatan embark on their life together. 🙏💕
I understand what they feel. Mazel tov! Innocent couple 💙🙏
Very interesting Freida, and respectful as always.
It makes sense! The wedding day is the beginning of a couple's pursuit of what is probably the most difficult and also most important mitzvah of all - to be fruitful and multiply. They are especially holy on the wedding day because they are taking on the responsibility of bringing about the next generation of Jews, and that has NEVER been a certain or easy thing.
In a Jewish context, the bearing of children is fraught with millennia of stress and strife. Think about it this way: scripture says the first Jews were Abraham and Sarah, who would have lived about 4,000 years ago. Even if this isn't literally true, it is certainly true that this is how far back the origins of Judaism can be traced.
Imagine you have just two people - one man and one woman. And then imagine that they have only two children. Those two children grow up, marry, and have two children of their own. And so on. Over the course of one century, this would happen - as an average - four times, because it's pretty average to be married and at least have started your family by the time you're 25, right? So at the end of that first century, your imaginary group of people has gone from two people to 32 people.
Four millennia is also forty centuries. If you continue this geometric progression of four generations per century for 40 centuries, imagine how many people would be in your imaginary group now. I'll give you a hint: it's more people than currently exist on the planet. If Jews had passed only two children per family to adulthood since the religion's inception, there would be billions of us. Instead, there are fewer than 16 million of us.
Why are we so few? Because not a single century has gone by without an attempt to wipe us out in the last 2,500 years. It is a constant and continuous fact of Jewish life. Why do Ashkenazi Jews have to do genetic screening for Tay-Sachs syndrome before starting their families? Because all Ashkenazim can trace their lineage back to a group of fewer than 400 people in the 14th century, and population bottlenecks like that magnify the risks of inheritable genetic conditions. And why were they so few? If you know history, you already know the answer.
For thousands of years, Jewish women have dedicated their lives to bearing and raising children - and they did so with the knowledge that it was unlikely that all - or even most - of their children would survive to adulthood. This is a huge part of why Jewish women and mothers are so revered. There's a common understanding for most Jews that if it weren't for the courage and valor of Jewish women, none of us would be here today.
This is so beautifully written. Every single word of it, beautiful. When we breathe the words softly, pray the words reverently or shout the words joyfully, these are the words, this is the sentiment we feel every time we say, "Am Yisroel Chai".
very beautifully said
Thank you, Freida. This is extremely informative. The sacredness of marriage, oh if only more people coiuld understand....
Beautiful. You explain this so well.❤
Sensitive respectful analysis as always.
I wish we could have seen more than a few sec of their dance, it was too short to form any opinion about their dance. I appreciate your explanation. They must be exhausted by this point!
The whole clip is not very long. I originally posted the clip and the explanation on Tiktok. I really didn't expect the clip to get 2 million views, but it did, which is why I did an explanation video. But it's on Tiktok. I know it's somewhere also on UA-cam but don't have the link. :(
Wow your explanation was fantastic and hart felt wonderful
That is a lot of responsibility and stress for a new couple. Tough way to start. But there must be a lot of strength too as most couples stay married and devout. They must be very strong with G-d watching over them.
Let's not forget- arranged marriage is NOT forced marriage. They can say no. If they say no to too many possible matches, yes, the family will get nervous.
Frieda that was so eloquently explained! You forgot to mention how all the male relatives dance before the kallah at during the mitzva tanz. It’s my favorite part to see the respect and reverence that she gets from the men. (maybe you can post a clip)
I went from secular to Hasidism. It was all a miracle when I went from Manhattan to Boro Park. I can only say that it is all beautiful. Hashem gave me Psalm 113 personally because I prayed to come as close to Hashem as possible. It is so much more than I could have imagined. Just ask, and you will receive. May we see Gaula, with Mercy , without delay.
I can understand why arranged marriages can be traumatic, and it's usually because parents put their own wants before their children's.
While most kids, myself included, sat down with their parents for hours to discuss what kind of spouse they want. Then they go through together every name that came in and whether its suited. Only when they are all happy with the suggestion will they meet, and if there's no chemistry they can so no.
But many parents will marry off their children when their not ready, to someone who they don't like just because they come from a respected family ect.
Because arranged marriage is a lot in the hands of the parents that can cause a lot of issues because you can't just cut off your toxic parents as easily in the community.
But if it's done right it is beautiful. Maybe the beginning can be harder because you don't know each other as well but at the end it's great.
Thanks so much for sharing such an interesting perspective. From my experience this is very true: so much depends on the parents.
Thank you! I learned a lot!!!
Very interesting. Your explanation was definitely required in order to understand what we are seeing.
Wow. Really very intense.
Why can’t people respect the traditions of others? This is beautiful.
פּונקט! ײשר כח.
@FreidaVizel I respect that you made an effort to share the truth with the world by contextualizing things that can be seen as bizarre from the outside...
There's a lot more to say but this can be sufficient for now. Thank you!
Fantastic explanation! There are many videos of mitzvah tantz online but nothing to really explain what it means to the people involved
Thank you for explaining this. I too thought they looked miserable and very, very young.
The term “arranged marriage” sounds sort of impersonal, and like a “done deal”. Actually the parents do a lot of information gathering about the prospective mates. When they are satisfied they have found just the right match for their children, the couple meet and talk. At any point they have the right to say they will or won’t marry this person . They will be together again at their exciting engagement celebration, then meet the next time at their wedding.
You just explained an arranged marriage. Selected by the parents. Children trust their parents; therefore, go along with this traumatic arranged marriage process.
@@brebeccablum4693 No, that’s not true. Either of the children have a say if they do not want to go through with this particular person. They can say no; the person they meet does not have to be the one they say “yes” to.