And she put the down payments for the wedding and she set up the honeymoon... I mean, my cats bring more joy and do more for me than he did. We know why he was with her, but why was she with him?
M Byerly. Yep...I agree with you completely. He found someone who made good money and had no trouble " sharing the wealth " with him. I am so glad he was stupid enough to leave his email easily accessible. She really dodged the bullet.
i wear everyone one of my scars & stretch marks (3 kids) with pride. They show that i have lived a life worth living. Not hid inside and wished for a life.
When I was 9 I had heart surgery , I ended up with a very obvious scar right down the middle of my chest. For most of my life after I had to deal with people making unflattering comments about my scar . Most of my boyfriends were okay with it , but it wasn’t until I met my husband that I really felt like he saw me for me and that my scar is an important part of who I am, he actually made me feel beautiful. Also no one in his family has ever made me feel unattractive because of it, early on they asked questions in kind and concerned ways and accepted me as I am. We’ve been married 34 years and he’s still a great husband.
@@lornaackerman7022 i can only sympathize with the pain you must have felt growing up. just last yr, i was twirling my great-nephew around on the driveway and our legs got tangled up. i was able to get him laid down but i unfortunately took a complete face plant. i tore up my whole right side of my face, gave me 2 black eyes (from where my glasses broke ino my face, broke my nose, shattered my upper fron teeth ( thankfully they were dentures). But the whole time it was healing people were very unkind. That weekend Just happened to be my husband and my 30th anniversary, so i wasn't about to not go out and not celebrate it. But the whispers, stares, and the way people would turn away in disgust was so hurtful ( even the drs and nurses). I have to say i was thankful for covid and having to wear masks even if it was very painful to do so. I have a firm belief in the inherant goodness of people, but for those couple of months it really pushed the boundries of that belief. thankully, there is very little scarring, you really have to look to see it. but like i said, i wear my scars with pride. i always have. If anyone has a reason to wear a scar with pride it is you. you are a survivor! that is something worth bragging about, not hiding from, not being ashamed of, and not giving a d@mn about what others think. I'm so glad that you found someone who saw your true beauty. and treats you like you deserve to be treated.
@@lornaackerman7022 Don't take it personal, it didn't bother Dale. He was just testing the waters to check if his ex would take him by making her feel good about how OP couldn't compete against her.
@@lornaackerman7022 I had open heart surgery too when I was 20 (now 60) and have a whopper of a scar right down my midsection. If any boyfriend or my now husband of 31+ years had reacted badly to it that would be the end of us right there and then. Luckily I never ran into any of those kinds of jerks.
She's taking the extreme high road and not dignifying his sorry ass with any response, and not muddying the waters by adding unnecessary people into the mix. I am sure if she has anyone from his family with her contact info, the ones that give a rat's ass will call/text and find out eventually.
It seems light but she was the breadwinner and now his sorry ass will have to fend for himself. If he wants to be with Jen so bad now is his chance because his meal ticket just walked away
Yeah well... I admit I am petty too. Maybe I would emailed it, maybe not. I always have my rational side and the emotional part of me fighting each other in hurtful situations. But usually that kind of things just makes me feel a bad person afterwards. I guess it would depend on if I would get crap from his family and friends over this. In that case, hell yeah.
To be honest if I had all the emails or Facebook of his family I would make a polite post explaining everything in detail like 'hello everyone. Sadly me and Dale's wedding won't be happening due to him sending emails to his ex where he confesses he sees me only as an ATM not as a equal. Sadly being friends with him won't be a possibility due to his harrasment and abuse towards my person after I left him. It'll probably be very shocking to you,as it was for me, but sadly that's the truth. Thank you for welcoming me into your family and I wish you all the best. Love, Op' And put the screenshots and videos going through the text and the email
Agreed. Refreshing with a story where OP doesn't um and ah about whether to dump or keep the trash, after luckily finding out that he was trash before they got married.
they helped her play it super smart. shes playing it cool with dale and making sure she is all the way out and a million miles away before she drops the bomb.
@joannavelez5179 in the Robert A Heinlein novel "The Number of the Beast", one of the characters, Hilda talks about her son in law Zeb and describes him as a 3:00 AM friend. That is a person who if you were in trouble at 3 AM, would drop everything and come to help you, with no questions asked and no expectation of reward. Thats Jake and Mike in the story.
Yup. Pretty much. He was a f**kboi through and through. His mistake was getting comfortable and not deleting his incriminating emails but luckily he didn't for op's benefit. Can't imagine being married to such a butt potato.
When I found out my ex was cheating, I confronted him and once he admitted to cheating, I said "How long will it take you to move out?" He moved out within a week. It was still hard, but I took a stand. Also, OP, go to Vegas. Lol Also, when my engagement was broken, I gave away my dress to a bride in need. She looked beautiful. And it felt so good
I'm glad you got out of that relatuonship as he was a cheater. Many women in my family from my grandma, many cousins,and even my own sister found out their husbands were cheating on them in their marriage. They all had so much heartache; etc.from this. Heck,my sister found out after like 20 years of marriage,that my now ex BIL was cheating on her for 19 years...and he blamed her,although she kept to ALL of her vows,everyone,even with her health problems et al (btw he used her health issues as a major reason for cheating on her).
@@pollypockets508 Yes, what a beautiful gesture, and for you to be able to be happy for that bride speaks volumes to your character. I hope you are well and happy
@@angietyndall7337 What that your sisters husband did to her makes me seeth with anger 💢. How can anyone be so heartless! I hope she is well now. My prayers go to her.
What’s messed up about Dale, in addition to him being a snake is he told the ex that he loves her but not enough actually move to be with her and build something with her. Is the ex supposed to be flattered by that? Oh yeah great sad sack Dale voice😂
Sounds like she was. She's probably a cheater herself since she's entertaining his comments and mocking his now ex fiance. It's likely all talk and if he shows up at her door now she maybe won't take him back depending on what her current situation is. It would serve him right.
i think he only stayed with OP bc she was the main breadwinner. i also think that the ex doesn't really want him for anything more than a side piece for the simple fact that he doesn't have any $$$ either. Bc she had already left him once. And in none of the letters does the ex confess her love for him. only him confessing love for her. she is only getting kinky with him. I think she has a money train, but isn't getting what she needs in the bedroom. Dale just shot himself in the foot and now isn't going to be getting anything. bc he thinks he can just go get his ex back. lol
@@Jedin8_1966 that takes some kind of hootzbah, but at least he was honest with her so she wouldn't waste her time with a loser like that. Howevver there are a LOT of men & women there are a lot of men & women out there that are just out there to play the field that just don't want to get married. And if i was out there i would want to know up front, he wasn't ever going to marry me or settle down into a commited relationship (marriage to me is just a piece of paper. but i get the meaning. even though i am married smh. )
Jen sounds like a pos, too. She should not be helping and encouraging her ex to disrespect his fiancée like that. But I bet she knows that Dale can't be trusted and has good reasons for being his ex. I don't expect that she would try to get back with him now that he is single again.
Hi LG. You know what I find interesting? He's not with the other woman only because it's not convenient for HIM! (too far away). Everything is about HIM and always will be!
I would go one shade more petty and send copies of the emails out in with the wedding invitations along with a note briefly saying that "Though we were getting married, certain new information about Dale has come to light. I hope the attached documents will help with anyone's questions as to why the wedding is now cancelled" Everybody, esp. Dale's family and friends.would then know the truth without her having to go to lengths to explain to everyone - and it prevents Dale from making up lies to save face
@@marytramp5678 Most of times those which can't be together, as mentioned on the post, they probably weren't on same state, also, the girl was making much more, imagine if he decides to be a Stay at home Husband and went on escapades to fuck other women when she was working, or his colors showed when she was bound by the married, he just wanted some financial relief and the girl pretty much fit the spot, he could excuse himself with day offs from work tell the wife some business trip bullshit and go see the Ex at any time if they got through this, damn girl dodged an entire nuke of "what ifs" by ghosting that narcissist asshole
Best part is that you know Jen doesn't even want him. She's just messing with him because she likes watching him act like a puppy dog wanting attention. I'm sure in that 20 minute gap he tried to break the "good news" to Jen, and then she shot him down, blowing up both Plan A and Plan B.
OP gets my "hero" award! She sounds like an incredible woman, and someone I would look up to, despite being about 15 years older than her. I also appreciate her advice from the therapist: that people can't maintain their facades forever. Maybe that's the Red Flag: just because someone treats you perfect doesn't mean everything is perfect. Good for you, OP! I wish you the best ⭐
I agree. Elle should set up a fire pit and use some good old-fashioned firewood. Wood-smoked marshmallows are awesome. Edit: Also, she should invite Jake and Mike for a small bonfire party. A party with friends and having hot dogs and s'mores over a burning dress would be the ultimate catharsis.
Take screenshots of the messages, put them in the wedding invite envelopes and send them out to the wedding mailing list saying, "Wedding is off, THIS is why." 👍
Op should have written the ex explaining how she found the emails and that the ex can have the jerk back and then explain how classless it is to make fun of a person's scars. Also let the ex girlfriend know that he lied about the vanilla BS. End with " I am sorry that I ever got in the way of the two of you being together but I am even more sorry that I wasted my time. Pull a Natasha to Carried from Sex and the City as she writes it.
Yeah... after those last messages he send I'd have sent copies of the emails + screenshots of what he messaged to his relatives with a simple message, "This is why I left. He's not who he pretends to be." Then never interact with any of them again. Sounds like he was too stupid to realize he got caught. So let them all know why at once and let the things you burned be his familial relationships and reputation.
OMG. This is SUCH a class act. Amazing especially in this day and age of overly entitled people. I would love to have her as a friend to hug and comfort. She would certainly return the care.
After that last text I don't think I could have stopped myself from sending those emails to all of his friends and family. Everyone should see what a crappy person he is.
Jake and Mike are amazing friends. I would have sent the email screenshots to him after the nasty text and may have sent them to my possible in laws. I would have blacked out the inappropriate stuff. But after those texts game over.
Mature or not, you still should’ve sent all the screenshots to friends and family. He hurt you very much so you need to punish him by showing people what kind of asshole he really is. I’m glad you are doing good, but you really missed that big opportunity!!
Just to one friend. If you live in small town it’ll get out and people will assume she’s the bad guy. Even with proof it takes a while,e to get out of the mindset that you really weren’t the bad person.
Nah she handled this perfectly. Why should she lower herself for a little revenge when the best revenge is knowing that he will be TORTURED over her "lack of emotion" towards the situation. And he ended up just digging himself a deeper hole showing her who he truly was the more angry he got about her lack of response. He will continue to make himself look stupid, I promise. Sounds to me like OP is a more level headed person than him anyway so I don't think his friends and family will buy any bs he tried to spew about what happened between them. I'm sure he will eventually expose HIMSELF. And that's way more satisfying. He made her look stupid to his ex, she's making him look stupid to EVERYONE without having to lift a finger!
Well I think the 70/30 rent payment for a one room apartment could be a red flag since most men still earn more (except when she really is career driven) but still it was a small apartment, so he should have paid more than just 30% even when he earns less.
Glad she is donating the dress. And I admire her for how well she handled the entire situation. Not sure I would have been as gracious as she was. She certainly deserves better and I am glad she can see her own self worth.
people like dale do not love at all. if he wanted to be with jen, he would make the effort to be with her. if he truly loved op, he would put more effort into that relationship. i would not just ghost him though. in person might be better, but if its to painful, pack your stuff and go, stay with family or friends with a bit until you figure something out and then call him to tell him its over. don't go into a long explanation, but tell him you found the emails while looking up addresses and that is why you are leaving. you dodged a bullet girl! if he hasn't cheated on you physcially yet, he would have. probably already has. plus, you don't want someone being with you only because its convient.
Not everyone deserves an in person break-up or a call. It can be very dangerous. Dale hit her with several low blows for a possible "misunderstanding". He knows what he did. He may not know how she knows or how much, but he knows. He doesn't want the embarrassment of telling his ppl and coworkers the wedding is off. If she's as lvl headed as she is here anyone with sense knows there's more to it than she just packed up skipped out for no reason.
Good on OP for believing in her own self-worth more than her POS ex-fiancé. He’ll spend the rest of his life kicking himself for driving someone like her away
LOL! The first comment is exactly what I was going to suggest. She doesn't owe him a face to face breakup. Yeah, breaking up over tech kinda sucks, but those who hurt you this way deserved less than that. Though, if she ghosted him, he would play victim. Gather the evidence, dump him via text and then cry as much as you want around someone you trust. I'm glad OP have great friends. Though, she should've really kept those emails for safety reason. He could've started saying something about her cheating and ruin her career. It didn't even have to be specific, just implied and it would be a load of trouble for her.
I may have misunderstood, but I think OP took pictures of the email with her phone before she left, so she does still have them. (Though I'm sure the idiot would try to claim they're 'edited' images, but I doubt it'd work). I do wish OP had let their families read how he _really_ felt about the woman he asked to marry him, but I understand why she wouldn't want to.
This is like a blueprint for how to handle a betrayal and breakup. I really hope she was able to move on and find someone more worthy of her affections, intelligence, ambition and success. And enormous kudos to Jake and Mike for being the stand-up friends they were/are.
Ever hear the song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"? This is crazy. They should get back together and OP should find someone new. People who are asking why he is in the relationship with OP? Convenient sex and the bank account. One bedroom? He'll lie to another sweetie fast. He's upset all right. His bank account was closed. You are lucky to have such good friends.
I can't help but be curious about that dhead. I would love to know how he handled the financial situation, the apartment and what he told his family and that ex of his. I mean, there isn't really a point the the last one, because we all know what a lying slime-ball he is, I am just curious how someone like that handles it. How far he would go. I thit me like a train after she casually mentioned that her share of the income was 70%. Well, we all know why he was trying do hard to keep up the act now.
OP should still have sent copies of the emails to everyone. It isn't revenge... it is protection. Do that and a) he won't keep bothering you, b) he is now worried about salvaging a relationship with friends and family, c) friends and family aren't blaming you for 'cold feet' or lying to them about loving this guy, or time/effort/money they put into supporting your relationship, etc., and d) you may run into him, friends, or family and have to justify it. They might be miffed you didn't just tell them in the first place.
I knew a girl who had scars because she had cancer as a teenager and she was always beautiful to me I haven't seen her in a long time but I hope she's well.
OP, I am so sorry you were in love with someone who was so fake, two-faced, and such a vile person. He and his X deserve each other, they are both awful. I'm really glad you found this out so you can move on. Ghost him. After update: You are mourning the loss of the person you thought you knew, it will take time. I'm glad you have good friends who can help. Your X will get what he deserves, and so will you, in your case that will be good things, for him, definitely not. Yes, the best revenge is living well. After 2nd update: So glad you are just leaving him hanging, ignoring, and blocking after enjoying seeing him squirm. He showed his true-self even more and making it so evident how much better off you are getting him away from him. After final update: I'm glad you have such a good sense of self and are a good person with supportive friends and a therapist who is helping you.
Dale is the worst person imaginable. Making fun of someone because of the scars they got when they almost DIED! What kind of a person does that? The worst kind I guess
I loved the touch of donating the wedding dress. Generous spirit. I just as much loved the idea of burning the reception dress. "I have to burn something" lol.
I really feel sorry for her. She seems like a really cool girl who doesn't care what people think about her and just living her life. I'm glad she's proud of her scar. Never look at it in shame. It shows she was able to overcome a very bad accident and can get thru anything
When I was in highschool I collapsed and cracked my skull open, I laid there gushing blood while no teacher or student would call an ambulance. I had to call one and my own family bc "no one wanted to be involved." I lost so much blood by the time the EMTs arrive I had blacked out 3 times and was barely keeping my eyes open. On the ride there even the EMT attending me in the cab had ME hold the rag to stop bleeding and barely did anything to keep my attention so I wouldn't go to sleep with the concussion I had. I barely got through it, no permant brain damage but I did crack my skull open and required 25 stitched to keep the wound from gushing. If I found out someone I loved and trusted was doing that behind my back, knowing that story behind it there would've been hell to pay
How can he not put the pieces together of her unexplained departure? I wonder did he talk w/his ex and said, “ IDK why she left me? Anyways, what are you wearing?”
Wow. This sounds like a blessing in disguise, to say the least. Good luck, OP. You are a far more fabulous person than either Dale or his ex. Let them find one another again.
I wish OP would print out the emails, leave the emails for him. I would Transfer money, take my 70%, my stuff and go. The thing is, if she just ghosts him, he’ll always blame her and not know that she found the emails, and he needs to know she left because HE screwed up. That would be the worst for him I promise.
Of all of the folks sharing Reddit stories, I really like the way you present the info the best. You do a great job with matching your voice to the emotions, and share good takes on what was presented. Winky face!
Can't pawn the ring. In many states, it's still property of the buyer until the marriage, as it is a contract to promise to get married. If the marriage doesn't happen, the contract is broken and ring is returned. It's a new state of laws
I do wish we could see him realize that she found out at some point. I know people say the best revenge is living well but I’m not mature enough for that!
Reminds me of the guy I was talking to early into my rehabilitation after losing my leg. I noticed controlling behavior so I said it won't work. His response I remember verbatim "I don't understand, I was nice to you when most guys wouldn't be because..." Are you insinuating that I don't deserve love or respect bc I'm missing a leg? Hmmm... yea, no thanks, I know my value.
OP did have a single warning sign - that Dale wouldn't give her the contacts for the wedding invitations. Perhaps he wanted her to find out about his attachment to Jen after all. But physical attraction doesn't make for a strong basis for a long term relationship - if you don't have respect, affection and trust as well as the physical part...the intensity fizzles out and you're left with someone who you don't even like. You can bet that Dale would have find a way to cheat with Jen, and to perpetually compare Elle negatively to Jen. Unless Jen found someone who she became committed to, leaving Dale to find another person to get all hot and bothered over, still thinking negatively about Elle's appearance. And yes, the fact that she earns much more than he does must have been a big factor in their plans to marry - a woman who earned much less than he wouldn't have been eligible in his eyes. So OP dodged a huge bullet, and saved herself from years of potential misery after marrying Dale, sharing property and maybe children with him, etc.
After finding out what kind of guy Dale is, I wondered if he was so sleezie and cheap that he convinced OP to buy her own engagement ring. But he had to at least make the bare minimum effort to act like a fiancé.
So glad you got away from him and have good friends there for you. You are an amazing person and deserve better. Much happiness in your life moving forward.
Wow. His text messages sound word for word what my ex husband texted me when I left him… after he refused to let me leave the house to go to work by holding me hostage with a weapon. He took a nap and I grabbed my dogs and left. He woke up and these text messages are almost identical to what I received. Lol. Looks like all narcissistic A-holes are the same. So glad she got out.
Story 1: I think OP should let his family have a condensed version of the reason. He cheated on her, but they didn't. They deserve to know. Also, don't block him if the texts/messages get ugly. Save them for just in case. I'm curious if ex had a timetable on when to divorce her and take her assets.
She really did dodge a close bullet there. Shattering and devastating... but still an escape. Nothing to share with him, no children etc...and easily gone into the wilderness forever . In a way, I hope someone sees this post, and shares it around... sounds like he and ex deserveeach other. Feeling sorry for partner of ex girlfriend!! Good luck to this brave lady.
Wow I just saw a Twitter thread about this exact situation op was heading towards before she found the emails. How most men never marry the one they love, the marry their wives out of convenience. Either from the fear of dying alone or, societal or age pressure to get married, men marry the women they aren’t in love with.
I once had a date flat out tell me that if his ex came back into his life, he'd leave any woman in a heartbeat for her. We never had a second date. Men always have a "unicorn". It isn't because they love that woman, either. They're just a convenient "out" for men who are terrified of commitment and intimacy. The unattainable woman they know will never make true demands on them, or stay with them, giving them the perfect excuse to remain single.
The only problem is since she hasn't told anybody that no one will know what he did so there's no punishment. He will go on to say stuff about her and then everybody hates her for no reason
The two friends who helped her Move know. They can help Spread the Word as OP Move on. Who knows, OP Still had the screens hots. So she still may use it.
God will take up her case. God is a better prosecutor and defender than she could ever be. That’s why judges always suggest that the client be silent. lol
I wouldn’t have been nearly as nice, cool, calm or collected as OP was. I would have pretended I didn’t know anything, then when he was asleep, log onto his phone, block her on all social media, block her cellphone number, delete her from his contacts and do the same for his email. Then, I would have broken up with him with no explanation, just told him I didn’t find him attractive and left
I would have left the computer on with one of the emails, whichever one was the worst. S'mores sound good. I hope to make some on Saturday, but I don't plan on burning a dress. Don't think it would help the flavor any.
When OP mentioned that she makes 70% of the income, I suddenly understood why Dale the Douche is with her.
And she put the down payments for the wedding and she set up the honeymoon... I mean, my cats bring more joy and do more for me than he did. We know why he was with her, but why was she with him?
@@essencethompson5293 emotional blinders; he said all the right things and she believed him.
@@samanthanickson6478 I wonder if Jen will still want him now that the gravy train has ended.
Yep. I guess he wanted to do “something” to feel more of a “man”. ..
M Byerly. Yep...I agree with you completely. He found someone who made good money and had no trouble " sharing the wealth " with him. I am so glad he was stupid enough to leave his email easily accessible. She really dodged the bullet.
Scars are sexy. Also, as a friend once told me, scars are like tattoos with better backstories.
i wear everyone one of my scars & stretch marks (3 kids) with pride. They show that i have lived a life worth living. Not hid inside and wished for a life.
When I was 9 I had heart surgery , I ended up with a very obvious scar right down the middle of my chest. For most of my life after I had to deal with people making unflattering comments about my scar . Most of my boyfriends were okay with it , but it wasn’t until I met my husband that I really felt like he saw me for me and that my scar is an important part of who I am, he actually made me feel beautiful. Also no one in his family has ever made me feel unattractive because of it, early on they asked questions in kind and concerned ways and accepted me as I am. We’ve been married 34 years and he’s still a great husband.
@@lornaackerman7022 i can only sympathize with the pain you must have felt growing up. just last yr, i was twirling my great-nephew around on the driveway and our legs got tangled up. i was able to get him laid down but i unfortunately took a complete face plant. i tore up my whole right side of my face, gave me 2 black eyes (from where my glasses broke ino my face, broke my nose, shattered my upper fron teeth ( thankfully they were dentures). But the whole time it was healing people were very unkind. That weekend Just happened to be my husband and my 30th anniversary, so i wasn't about to not go out and not celebrate it. But the whispers, stares, and the way people would turn away in disgust was so hurtful ( even the drs and nurses). I have to say i was thankful for covid and having to wear masks even if it was very painful to do so. I have a firm belief in the inherant goodness of people, but for those couple of months it really pushed the boundries of that belief. thankully, there is very little scarring, you really have to look to see it. but like i said, i wear my scars with pride. i always have. If anyone has a reason to wear a scar with pride it is you. you are a survivor! that is something worth bragging about, not hiding from, not being ashamed of, and not giving a d@mn about what others think. I'm so glad that you found someone who saw your true beauty. and treats you like you deserve to be treated.
@@lornaackerman7022 Don't take it personal, it didn't bother Dale. He was just testing the waters to check if his ex would take him by making her feel good about how OP couldn't compete against her.
@@lornaackerman7022 I had open heart surgery too when I was 20 (now 60) and have a whopper of a scar right down my midsection. If any boyfriend or my now husband of 31+ years had reacted badly to it that would be the end of us right there and then. Luckily I never ran into any of those kinds of jerks.
Well, she should email all her proof to his family and friends, but that's just me believing ghosting him is too light of a punishment
She's taking the extreme high road and not dignifying his sorry ass with any response, and not muddying the waters by adding unnecessary people into the mix. I am sure if she has anyone from his family with her contact info, the ones that give a rat's ass will call/text and find out eventually.
It seems light but she was the breadwinner and now his sorry ass will have to fend for himself. If he wants to be with Jen so bad now is his chance because his meal ticket just walked away
@@spacebabyksworld RUFFA, RUFFA !
Yeah well... I admit I am petty too. Maybe I would emailed it, maybe not. I always have my rational side and the emotional part of me fighting each other in hurtful situations. But usually that kind of things just makes me feel a bad person afterwards. I guess it would depend on if I would get crap from his family and friends over this. In that case, hell yeah.
To be honest if I had all the emails or Facebook of his family I would make a polite post explaining everything in detail like 'hello everyone. Sadly me and Dale's wedding won't be happening due to him sending emails to his ex where he confesses he sees me only as an ATM not as a equal. Sadly being friends with him won't be a possibility due to his harrasment and abuse towards my person after I left him. It'll probably be very shocking to you,as it was for me, but sadly that's the truth. Thank you for welcoming me into your family and I wish you all the best. Love, Op'
And put the screenshots and videos going through the text and the email
Finally, someone with a backbone.
Agreed. Refreshing with a story where OP doesn't um and ah about whether to dump or keep the trash, after luckily finding out that he was trash before they got married.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY !!!!!!!!!
So glad she found out. She's badass.
Luckily for OP, she has friends to rely on unlike many other OPs. They can calm her down if she has a moment of weakness and replies to him.
Yesssssss 😅
Jake and Mike are the kind of friends you need when shit hits the fan. So glad OP had them to be there for her.
they helped her play it super smart. shes playing it cool with dale and making sure she is all the way out and a million miles away before she drops the bomb.
They were awesome!!!
They should go on that honeymoon trip together and post it on social media. If ex happens to see it, it sucks for him.
Basically play along with their game in order to exit/end it
@joannavelez5179 in the Robert A Heinlein novel "The Number of the Beast", one of the characters, Hilda talks about her son in law Zeb and describes him as a 3:00 AM friend. That is a person who if you were in trouble at 3 AM, would drop everything and come to help you, with no questions asked and no expectation of reward. Thats Jake and Mike in the story.
I was wondering if Dale just saw OP as a money train since she did cover 70% of the expenses. Glad she got out.
I thought the same too. He could have a cozy life with the wife working to keep their lifestyle. Being with her would be like a favour in his eyes.
Prolly
Yup. Pretty much. He was a f**kboi through and through. His mistake was getting comfortable and not deleting his incriminating emails but luckily he didn't for op's benefit. Can't imagine being married to such a butt potato.
@@tartlynerdy "Butt potato"! 😂🤣😅😆😁😄 I love it! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@MaryTheresa1986 hah SAME
When I found out my ex was cheating, I confronted him and once he admitted to cheating, I said "How long will it take you to move out?" He moved out within a week. It was still hard, but I took a stand. Also, OP, go to Vegas. Lol Also, when my engagement was broken, I gave away my dress to a bride in need. She looked beautiful. And it felt so good
I'm glad you got out of that relatuonship as he was a cheater. Many women in my family from my grandma, many cousins,and even my own sister found out their husbands were cheating on them in their marriage. They all had so much heartache; etc.from this.
Heck,my sister found out after like 20 years of marriage,that my now ex BIL was cheating on her for 19 years...and he blamed her,although she kept to ALL of her vows,everyone,even with her health problems et al (btw he used her health issues as a major reason for cheating on her).
Gave your dress away...you're a star!
@@judyjohnson9610 Thank you!
@@pollypockets508 Yes, what a beautiful gesture, and for you to be able to be happy for that bride speaks volumes to your character. I hope you are well and happy
@@angietyndall7337 What that your sisters husband did to her makes me seeth with anger 💢. How can anyone be so heartless! I hope she is well now. My prayers go to her.
"I make 70% of our combined income" ahh I see why the jerk stayed with her! I'm so glad she has great friends to help her
What’s messed up about Dale, in addition to him being a snake is he told the ex that he loves her but not enough actually move to be with her and build something with her.
Is the ex supposed to be flattered by that?
Oh yeah great sad sack Dale voice😂
Sounds like she was. She's probably a cheater herself since she's entertaining his comments and mocking his now ex fiance. It's likely all talk and if he shows up at her door now she maybe won't take him back depending on what her current situation is. It would serve him right.
i think he only stayed with OP bc she was the main breadwinner. i also think that the ex doesn't really want him for anything more than a side piece for the simple fact that he doesn't have any $$$ either. Bc she had already left him once. And in none of the letters does the ex confess her love for him. only him confessing love for her. she is only getting kinky with him. I think she has a money train, but isn't getting what she needs in the bedroom. Dale just shot himself in the foot and now isn't going to be getting anything. bc he thinks he can just go get his ex back. lol
@@Jedin8_1966 that takes some kind of hootzbah, but at least he was honest with her so she wouldn't waste her time with a loser like that. Howevver there are a LOT of men & women there are a lot of men & women out there that are just out there to play the field that just don't want to get married. And if i was out there i would want to know up front, he wasn't ever going to marry me or settle down into a commited relationship (marriage to me is just a piece of paper. but i get the meaning. even though i am married smh. )
@@marytramp5678 that's so true. I like having these conversations up front and early. Don't waste ppls time
Jen sounds like a pos, too. She should not be helping and encouraging her ex to disrespect his fiancée like that. But I bet she knows that Dale can't be trusted and has good reasons for being his ex. I don't expect that she would try to get back with him now that he is single again.
I love OP. She’s funny and has humor. She had a backbone. Good for her
She dodged a massive bullet
We support shiny spines! She handled it way better than I would have. I either wouldnt do enough or go scorched earth. No in between lol
Hi LG. You know what I find interesting? He's not with the other woman only because it's not convenient for HIM! (too far away). Everything is about HIM and always will be!
Thank god she ghosted him and she knew not to respond to his texts! She knew her worth!
And she did it in style!
me myself and I, I would print the emails, and send them to everyone you were going to send wedding invites to.
I like your thinking.😈😈😈😈
Oh totally. Scorched earth baby!
I would go one shade more petty and send copies of the emails out in with the wedding invitations along with a note briefly saying that "Though we were getting married, certain new information about Dale has come to light. I hope the attached documents will help with anyone's questions as to why the wedding is now cancelled"
Everybody, esp. Dale's family and friends.would then know the truth without her having to go to lengths to explain to everyone
- and it prevents Dale from making up lies to save face
Nah just send everyone a tub of vanilla ice cream, and picture Dale trying to explain it 🤣
Op sounds so emotionally healthy and grounded. I love how she know her own worth. And what a beautiful spine she has on her as well!
Right?! Like who in their Right mind would treat a woman like this the way he did?! Seriously???
Miracles does happen. Her finding out before the wedding....whew.. amazing.
"If you were unhappy, you should have told me!" Startling lack of awareness or some projection or something here. lmao
He was probably in it for the money and would have had his ex as a side dish if she lived closer
Another story where OP should have trusted her gut. She had a feeling at the start that she was a rebound relationship.
Always trust your gut people!
yeah but how many rebound relationships last 5 years!!!?
@@marytramp5678 Most of times those which can't be together, as mentioned on the post, they probably weren't on same state, also, the girl was making much more, imagine if he decides to be a Stay at home Husband and went on escapades to fuck other women when she was working, or his colors showed when she was bound by the married, he just wanted some financial relief and the girl pretty much fit the spot, he could excuse himself with day offs from work tell the wife some business trip bullshit and go see the Ex at any time if they got through this, damn girl dodged an entire nuke of "what ifs" by ghosting that narcissist asshole
Well I have an anxious personality so my gut usually tells me to second guess myself.
It's difficult tho. Lol
Astro boy.... so true!
Best part is that you know Jen doesn't even want him. She's just messing with him because she likes watching him act like a puppy dog wanting attention. I'm sure in that 20 minute gap he tried to break the "good news" to Jen, and then she shot him down, blowing up both Plan A and Plan B.
She was definitely just using him for her own amusement, phone sex and trash talk
Oh my god, thats exactly what I was thinking!
I bet jen was the one who initially ended the relationship but loves the attention
“I can’t think of anything I have done to deserve this! “
OP: “think harder!”
OP gets my "hero" award! She sounds like an incredible woman, and someone I would look up to, despite being about 15 years older than her. I also appreciate her advice from the therapist: that people can't maintain their facades forever. Maybe that's the Red Flag: just because someone treats you perfect doesn't mean everything is perfect.
Good for you, OP! I wish you the best ⭐
What’s that fiancé on about? We all wanted to get with Edward Scissorhand.
Protip: S'mores taste like crap when you use large amounts of lighter fluid as an accelerant.
I agree. Elle should set up a fire pit and use some good old-fashioned firewood. Wood-smoked marshmallows are awesome.
Edit: Also, she should invite Jake and Mike for a small bonfire party. A party with friends and having hot dogs and s'mores over a burning dress would be the ultimate catharsis.
@@SerenEirian lol as long as the dress doesn't contain any synthetic material. Nobody needs a side of plastic bead with their food.
Take screenshots of the messages, put them in the wedding invite envelopes and send them out to the wedding mailing list saying, "Wedding is off, THIS is why." 👍
S1. I absolutely LOVE that OP knows she's a great person and put herself 1st. It's so sad that more ppl don't have that frame of mind❤
Op should have written the ex explaining how she found the emails and that the ex can have the jerk back and then explain how classless it is to make fun of a person's scars. Also let the ex girlfriend know that he lied about the vanilla BS. End with " I am sorry that I ever got in the way of the two of you being together but I am even more sorry that I wasted my time. Pull a Natasha to Carried from Sex and the City as she writes it.
I’m confused how he doesn’t have more followers. This is literally the best channel for Reddit. This one and rspace
Yeah... after those last messages he send I'd have sent copies of the emails + screenshots of what he messaged to his relatives with a simple message, "This is why I left. He's not who he pretends to be." Then never interact with any of them again. Sounds like he was too stupid to realize he got caught. So let them all know why at once and let the things you burned be his familial relationships and reputation.
OMG. This is SUCH a class act. Amazing especially in this day and age of overly entitled people. I would love to have her as a friend to hug and comfort. She would certainly return the care.
After that last text I don't think I could have stopped myself from sending those emails to all of his friends and family. Everyone should see what a crappy person he is.
Jake and Mike are amazing friends. I would have sent the email screenshots to him after the nasty text and may have sent them to my possible in laws. I would have blacked out the inappropriate stuff. But after those texts game over.
Mature or not, you still should’ve sent all the screenshots to friends and family. He hurt you very much so you need to punish him by showing people what kind of asshole he really is. I’m glad you are doing good, but you really missed that big opportunity!!
I would’ve wrote to the ex girlfriend about the whole back door thing right after getting all my shit out.
Just to one friend. If you live in small town it’ll get out and people will assume she’s the bad guy. Even with proof it takes a while,e to get out of the mindset that you really weren’t the bad person.
exactly because she could have warned others about him
Nah she handled this perfectly. Why should she lower herself for a little revenge when the best revenge is knowing that he will be TORTURED over her "lack of emotion" towards the situation. And he ended up just digging himself a deeper hole showing her who he truly was the more angry he got about her lack of response. He will continue to make himself look stupid, I promise. Sounds to me like OP is a more level headed person than him anyway so I don't think his friends and family will buy any bs he tried to spew about what happened between them. I'm sure he will eventually expose HIMSELF. And that's way more satisfying. He made her look stupid to his ex, she's making him look stupid to EVERYONE without having to lift a finger!
You need to leave with no explanation and NEVER look back. Block him in everything.
OP should have sent the Ex a link to her Reddit post telling him to read her post, then block him.
And to the floozy he’s been cheating with, with a message saying “I wonder if he will stay with you if you ended up being disfigured too.”
The vanilla ice cream left on the counter was just perfect! I would have pawned the ring however.
It was probably cz
Well I think the 70/30 rent payment for a one room apartment could be a red flag since most men still earn more (except when she really is career driven) but still it was a small apartment, so he should have paid more than just 30% even when he earns less.
Glad she is donating the dress. And I admire her for how well she handled the entire situation. Not sure I would have been as gracious as she was. She certainly deserves better and I am glad she can see her own self worth.
I love the vanilla ice cream... that should tell him everything he needs to know.
people like dale do not love at all. if he wanted to be with jen, he would make the effort to be with her. if he truly loved op, he would put more effort into that relationship. i would not just ghost him though. in person might be better, but if its to painful, pack your stuff and go, stay with family or friends with a bit until you figure something out and then call him to tell him its over. don't go into a long explanation, but tell him you found the emails while looking up addresses and that is why you are leaving. you dodged a bullet girl! if he hasn't cheated on you physcially yet, he would have. probably already has. plus, you don't want someone being with you only because its convient.
Not everyone deserves an in person break-up or a call. It can be very dangerous. Dale hit her with several low blows for a possible "misunderstanding". He knows what he did. He may not know how she knows or how much, but he knows. He doesn't want the embarrassment of telling his ppl and coworkers the wedding is off. If she's as lvl headed as she is here anyone with sense knows there's more to it than she just packed up skipped out for no reason.
Good on OP for believing in her own self-worth more than her POS ex-fiancé. He’ll spend the rest of his life kicking himself for driving someone like her away
Can we talk about how awesome Jake and Mike are? Those of us with good friends like that never have to go through anything alone.
In his last text he showed his true face in all its "glamour". He is the "attraction".
LOL! The first comment is exactly what I was going to suggest. She doesn't owe him a face to face breakup. Yeah, breaking up over tech kinda sucks, but those who hurt you this way deserved less than that. Though, if she ghosted him, he would play victim. Gather the evidence, dump him via text and then cry as much as you want around someone you trust.
I'm glad OP have great friends. Though, she should've really kept those emails for safety reason. He could've started saying something about her cheating and ruin her career. It didn't even have to be specific, just implied and it would be a load of trouble for her.
I may have misunderstood, but I think OP took pictures of the email with her phone before she left, so she does still have them. (Though I'm sure the idiot would try to claim they're 'edited' images, but I doubt it'd work). I do wish OP had let their families read how he _really_ felt about the woman he asked to marry him, but I understand why she wouldn't want to.
I would screenshot all of those emails, find any others he had with her, then factory reset is a laptop. Oops!
This is like a blueprint for how to handle a betrayal and breakup. I really hope she was able to move on and find someone more worthy of her affections, intelligence, ambition and success. And enormous kudos to Jake and Mike for being the stand-up friends they were/are.
I'm proud of this OP, she handled herself so well and that ice cream trick with no explanation was great! Thank you as always for the video.
Ever hear the song "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"? This is crazy. They should get back together and OP should find someone new. People who are asking why he is in the relationship with OP? Convenient sex and the bank account. One bedroom? He'll lie to another sweetie fast. He's upset all right. His bank account was closed. You are lucky to have such good friends.
I can't help but be curious about that dhead. I would love to know how he handled the financial situation, the apartment and what he told his family and that ex of his. I mean, there isn't really a point the the last one, because we all know what a lying slime-ball he is, I am just curious how someone like that handles it. How far he would go.
I thit me like a train after she casually mentioned that her share of the income was 70%. Well, we all know why he was trying do hard to keep up the act now.
New rebound girlfriend, complete with sob story.
I would have responded with a screenshot of the emails, and then blocked him.
OP should still have sent copies of the emails to everyone. It isn't revenge... it is protection. Do that and a) he won't keep bothering you, b) he is now worried about salvaging a relationship with friends and family, c) friends and family aren't blaming you for 'cold feet' or lying to them about loving this guy, or time/effort/money they put into supporting your relationship, etc., and d) you may run into him, friends, or family and have to justify it. They might be miffed you didn't just tell them in the first place.
I knew a girl who had scars because she had cancer as a teenager and she was always beautiful to me I haven't seen her in a long time but I hope she's well.
OP, I am so sorry you were in love with someone who was so fake, two-faced, and such a vile person. He and his X deserve each other, they are both awful. I'm really glad you found this out so you can move on. Ghost him.
After update: You are mourning the loss of the person you thought you knew, it will take time. I'm glad you have good friends who can help. Your X will get what he deserves, and so will you, in your case that will be good things, for him, definitely not. Yes, the best revenge is living well.
After 2nd update: So glad you are just leaving him hanging, ignoring, and blocking after enjoying seeing him squirm. He showed his true-self even more and making it so evident how much better off you are getting him away from him.
After final update: I'm glad you have such a good sense of self and are a good person with supportive friends and a therapist who is helping you.
Really like these one story videos!
Looks like OP has a really good guardian angel looking out for her.
When I see people with big scars I only think of how painful that most has been for them
I would like to have been a fly on the wall when he got home and found the note, the ring, and the ice cream! Well done, OP!!! 😅😅
Dale is the worst person imaginable. Making fun of someone because of the scars they got when they almost DIED! What kind of a person does that? The worst kind I guess
Vanilla everywhere. Bottle in the sheets. Bottle in the medicine cabinet. Bottle falls out of cereal box when he pours it.
I loved the touch of donating the wedding dress. Generous spirit. I just as much loved the idea of burning the reception dress. "I have to burn something" lol.
Glad that OP did well and is doing a lot better, I believe that she can find someone a whole lot better than Dale.
OP should have emailed his texts to everyone and then post it in Facebook.
He only saw OP as a meal ticket. I'm glad OP is taking her trip.
I really feel sorry for her. She seems like a really cool girl who doesn't care what people think about her and just living her life. I'm glad she's proud of her scar. Never look at it in shame. It shows she was able to overcome a very bad accident and can get thru anything
When I was in highschool I collapsed and cracked my skull open, I laid there gushing blood while no teacher or student would call an ambulance. I had to call one and my own family bc "no one wanted to be involved." I lost so much blood by the time the EMTs arrive I had blacked out 3 times and was barely keeping my eyes open. On the ride there even the EMT attending me in the cab had ME hold the rag to stop bleeding and barely did anything to keep my attention so I wouldn't go to sleep with the concussion I had. I barely got through it, no permant brain damage but I did crack my skull open and required 25 stitched to keep the wound from gushing. If I found out someone I loved and trusted was doing that behind my back, knowing that story behind it there would've been hell to pay
How can he not put the pieces together of her unexplained departure? I wonder did he talk w/his ex and said, “ IDK why she left me? Anyways, what are you wearing?”
Atleast OP can comfort herself with the knowledge that even if he is single his ex still doesnt want him.
Giving cheaters grace and allowing them to control the narrative is wild asf. OP basically just set Dale up to find another victim.
Wow. This sounds like a blessing in disguise, to say the least. Good luck, OP. You are a far more fabulous person than either Dale or his ex. Let them find one another again.
I wish OP would print out the emails, leave the emails for him. I would Transfer money, take my 70%, my stuff and go. The thing is, if she just ghosts him, he’ll always blame her and not know that she found the emails, and he needs to know she left because HE screwed up. That would be the worst for him I promise.
WHAT SHE GAVE THE RING BACK NOOOOO SELL IT!!!
I love it when LG does all the voices! He does them so well!
OP is such a good person. I would’ve printed out the emails and sent them with the wedding invitations
Of all of the folks sharing Reddit stories, I really like the way you present the info the best. You do a great job with matching your voice to the emotions, and share good takes on what was presented. Winky face!
Can't pawn the ring. In many states, it's still property of the buyer until the marriage, as it is a contract to promise to get married. If the marriage doesn't happen, the contract is broken and ring is returned. It's a new state of laws
The vanilla ice cream is amazing 😂😂😂
Good storys always make me feel better till I have to clock-in to a nightmare shift at work.
Same!
Op1- I'm a petty b, so I would send that email to everyone he knows. His parents, siblings, great aunt Nana, even his job.
I don't think I could ever get satisfaction from just ghosting. I want then to KNOW that I KNOW.
I do wish we could see him realize that she found out at some point. I know people say the best revenge is living well but I’m not mature enough for that!
Reminds me of the guy I was talking to early into my rehabilitation after losing my leg. I noticed controlling behavior so I said it won't work. His response I remember verbatim "I don't understand, I was nice to you when most guys wouldn't be because..."
Are you insinuating that I don't deserve love or respect bc I'm missing a leg? Hmmm... yea, no thanks, I know my value.
I would print off the emails leave them on the table and walk out the door. Nothing else is needed.
wow that's some story. Glad she got out. Thanks LG. Stay safe. Peace
OP did have a single warning sign - that Dale wouldn't give her the contacts for the wedding invitations. Perhaps he wanted her to find out about his attachment to Jen after all. But physical attraction doesn't make for a strong basis for a long term relationship - if you don't have respect, affection and trust as well as the physical part...the intensity fizzles out and you're left with someone who you don't even like.
You can bet that Dale would have find a way to cheat with Jen, and to perpetually compare Elle negatively to Jen. Unless Jen found someone who she became committed to, leaving Dale to find another person to get all hot and bothered over, still thinking negatively about Elle's appearance.
And yes, the fact that she earns much more than he does must have been a big factor in their plans to marry - a woman who earned much less than he wouldn't have been eligible in his eyes. So OP dodged a huge bullet, and saved herself from years of potential misery after marrying Dale, sharing property and maybe children with him, etc.
After finding out what kind of guy Dale is, I wondered if he was so sleezie and cheap that he convinced OP to buy her own engagement ring. But he had to at least make the bare minimum effort to act like a fiancé.
So glad you got away from him and have good friends there for you. You are an amazing person and deserve better. Much happiness in your life moving forward.
Wow. His text messages sound word for word what my ex husband texted me when I left him… after he refused to let me leave the house to go to work by holding me hostage with a weapon. He took a nap and I grabbed my dogs and left. He woke up and these text messages are almost identical to what I received. Lol. Looks like all narcissistic A-holes are the same. So glad she got out.
Story 1: I think OP should let his family have a condensed version of the reason. He cheated on her, but they didn't. They deserve to know. Also, don't block him if the texts/messages get ugly. Save them for just in case. I'm curious if ex had a timetable on when to divorce her and take her assets.
How is the ex currently 20 and they've been in a relationship for 5 years. That grown man was dating a 15yo when he was 22??? Police!
She really did dodge a close bullet there. Shattering and devastating... but still an escape. Nothing to share with him, no children etc...and easily gone into the wilderness forever . In a way, I hope someone sees this post, and shares it around... sounds like he and ex deserveeach other. Feeling sorry for partner of ex girlfriend!! Good luck to this brave lady.
Wow I just saw a Twitter thread about this exact situation op was heading towards before she found the emails. How most men never marry the one they love, the marry their wives out of convenience. Either from the fear of dying alone or, societal or age pressure to get married, men marry the women they aren’t in love with.
That happens with women all the time too, the dating game is rough right now.
I once had a date flat out tell me that if his ex came back into his life, he'd leave any woman in a heartbeat for her. We never had a second date. Men always have a "unicorn". It isn't because they love that woman, either. They're just a convenient "out" for men who are terrified of commitment and intimacy. The unattainable woman they know will never make true demands on them, or stay with them, giving them the perfect excuse to remain single.
How do people think the world's favourite flavour is crappy?
Dale was love bombing her, a red flag that is very sneaky. I am glad she got out of this situation and with her humor mode on. I wish her the best
This was amazing and yes the therapist is right I never saw anything coming in my relationship this girl is amazing
Good friends are priceless..
The only problem is since she hasn't told anybody that no one will know what he did so there's no punishment. He will go on to say stuff about her and then everybody hates her for no reason
The two friends who helped her Move know. They can help Spread the Word as OP Move on. Who knows, OP Still had the screens hots. So she still may use it.
God will take up her case.
God is a better prosecutor and defender than she could ever be.
That’s why judges always suggest that the client be silent. lol
Right. I wonder if his family tried to contact her. Wish she talked more about how other people reacted.
She totally should’ve kept the ring! Smdh especially since she paid for so much everything & her loss on the wedding.
Give him a big bottle of vanilla essence and tell him he's too vanilla for you. I like the icecream idea, though.
I hope that op has found someone worthy of her. She has a great amount of class.
I wouldn’t have been nearly as nice, cool, calm or collected as OP was. I would have pretended I didn’t know anything, then when he was asleep, log onto his phone, block her on all social media, block her cellphone number, delete her from his contacts and do the same for his email. Then, I would have broken up with him with no explanation, just told him I didn’t find him attractive and left
He’s pissed his meal ticket walked out.
Before Updates my ruling is: Ghost him! Ghost him! Also take a piece of every tableware set and every other couch cushion!
I would have left the computer on with one of the emails, whichever one was the worst.
S'mores sound good. I hope to make some on Saturday, but I don't plan on burning a dress. Don't think it would help the flavor any.
Not over a gasoline fire with toxic fabrics burning.
@@mbyerly9680 I prefer them over a nice bed of wood coals.