Moments in Time Satirically Africa

Moments-in-Time- “Satirically Africa”
Odie Hawkins --Review: Heather -- Africa Media Watch/Sept. 15-30/1999
This is a dry-funny one. It goes like this (it’s satire at the core):
Dateline, the Egyptian Times, Abdul Rameses Sadat 9/15/2002. “Finally, a group of prominent European and American archaeologists have determined that the pyramids and all of the other magnificent architectural wonders in Egypt, Africa, were designed, created and built by Africans.” My Word!
Flash! Dateline: The Libyan Guardian, Mohammed Saïd 9/5/2002. “President Quaddafi announced his intention to allow a limited number of European and American Christians to immigrate to the southern sector of his country (the “Empty Quarter”) if they will focus on cotton cultivations.”
Dateline: The Algerian Bulletin, Fuad Al-Fez 9/15/2002. “The radical members of the Algerian Party have petitioned their government to annex France. Thus far, the French government has declined to schedule a referendum on this matter, despite the clamor of many young French men/women to give it a go.”
Dateline: The Morrocan Daily, Omar Quarig 9/12/2002. “Sarah Klien-Addig, winner of the prestigious Hassan Award, has given Morrocans much to cheer about with her latest play, “Othella”, the story of a Morrocan warrior queen whose overwhelming jealousy is responsible for her eventual downfall.
Dateline: The Western Sahara, Said Ben Said, 9/15/2002 “Two groups of Guerrillas, pro and con, have clashed for the 81st time this month. It appears that none of the present combatants could recall the exact reason for their ongoing struggle.”
Dateline: The Malian Gazette. Othman Hag 9/15/2002. “Malian Super-entrepreneur BaBa Foutanga. Dit Babani Sissoko, has offered to purchase Mauritania, Mali, Niger, Chad and the Lower Sudan.
One high ranking Malian official says, “If anyone can do it, BaBa can do it.”
Dateline: The Horn of Africa, Haile Kebede 2/9/2002.
“Four of the greatest marathon runners in the history of track; Ethiopian, Somalian, Djibuti and Eritrea have vowed to run until the countries in their region have stopped fighting each other, forever.
Dateline: The Lagos Sentinel, Peter Abiku 9/15/2002.
Ifayemi Fela Marley Oshogbo, newly elected Chairman of the West African Confederation has just confirmed applications from Burkino Faso, Congo, Burundi, Uganda, Rwanda, Tanzania, Malawi, Zambia and Kenya to join the confederation’s ranks.
“During the course of the coming year we hope to create the United States of Africa…”
Dateline: Jo’Borg News. John Ramaphosa 9/19/2002
“A semi-religious movement that calls itself “Mandelaism” is sweeping across the southern part of Africa. Thousands of believers have sworn vows to stop lying, cheating and stealing. Missionaries are currently on the move to America and Europe.”
Dateline: Madagascar Today. T.T. Tanirrivanana 9/15/2002.
“Madagascar has almost completed the Madagascar to Mozambique Bridge. The project, started in 1990, will cost $150 billion dollars. It is, incidentally, being financed by one BaBa Foutanga Dit Babani Sissoko.
Dateline: “El-A Now”. Uhhhh O. Hawkins. 9/05/2002.
Finally, seriously. Remember Dr. Ali Mazruis’ “The Africans?” Well, once again KCET does it when nobody else will. A fall season show entitled, “Wonders of the African World” will be hosted by Dr. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. It’ll be worth renewing your subscription to check it out, without a guilt trip perched on your shoulder.”
Mi Ba…. Here's a taste: • Wonders of African Wor...