I wish there were more messages out here instructing men how to grow and get themselves together, rather than so many messages geared towards instructing women how to cope with men.
What I don’t understand is why dating a man is so difficult? Why do women have to be learning about men as if they were rare creatures. Do men not want to be in love? I wish MEN was a subject at school. It would have saved me from all this pain.
I learned later in life that their egos make them mess up relationships. Their call us on our faults all the time exactly what they don't want us to do with them but we don't try to hurt to hurt the men we care about. They have a negative view of us and we have to tiptoe around their feelings to keep the peace. A tiring job.
@@ceceliaellis9916 And I won't do it again. If you feel that way. Get out. There should be balance. If I can't speak my mind. That's not Healthy. We should be able to talk and work on changing together or ALONE. As long as it's done.
I'm a man of transparency..... I speak very freely about how I feel& how I'm feeling.... I consider myself one of the rare guys out here who WILL allow my emotions & feelings to be KNOWN .
@@bre_s9164 yes indeed I'm NOTHING like what he's saying... Not ALL men don't show emotions & feelings....I SHOW my feelings & as I said I'm VERY transparent... I wear my heart & emotions on my sleeve &I'm OK with that... Because its who I am
@@rynonbrown8227 Love it! Consistency, transparency, is everything to me. I had ALL that but he clammed up and left. When Tony said when it comes to HEART work which is HARD work. That's just it. SOME Men can't. Because it would have warranted change and to be more vulnerable and he didn't want that. Some Men just can't. Communication is so important. So he found something EASIER. But I know I am THE HEART WORK.
@@Dlovely516 ....wow...I'm really sorry to hear that he decided to leave.... Sounds like he didn't take the time to HEAL his heart so that he wouldn't have had any problems.... healing requires work and a lot of people just don't want to take the time to do it but what they don't realize is once they do they'll be glad they did because it's all about having a healthy loving relationship....which is what tony is talking about😊
You’re helping me as a man in many ways by watching these videos. You gave me a great epiphany lately in one of your videos, and I’m very grateful. God bless you Tony 🙏🏾
5 years I wasted trying to force my addicted spouse to rectify his drinking, cheating and drug use. In the end when I left him, he blamed the destruction of our engagement fully on my "unrealistic expectations". He legitimately told me I should just start drinking and taking drugs so we could get a long better. BOYBYE! My life has become joyful again, so it's clear to me who the real problem was.
Smart men learn when they know they will lose something valuable otherwise. Kinda like you did with your wife. Men who are not ready or just simply have no intentions of changing are pointless to pursue.
I took me some time to learn I know I'm not to late but when my woman comes back I'm giving her the ring and no longer letting my friends influence me into silly ways
Sometimes it may be best to leave men who are not emotionally available or ready for a relationship, alone. Time is too valuable to wate on someone who isn't willing to grow.
@@DSNCB919 You should have treated her right from the jump. You didnt prioritize her and let your friends "encourage" you to behave badly. You blaming your own actions that you CHOSE to do all on your own, onto your friends, shows that you haven't grown.. Take full responsibility PERIOD. You dont deserve her or a second, third fourth or 100th chance from her, and I'm sure shes given you plenty... When a woman is done she is done. Leave that woman alone and let her be with a man that DESERVES her. If you cared about her, truly cared about her with all of your heart, she would be with you right now. She wouldn't have left because you wouldn't have given her a reason to.. Leave her in peace. Treat the next woman better.
So true. I spoke about growth a lot. I remember now speaking of God and giving lots of wisdom. NOT in a bible study preachy way. But just talking in general. I was intimidating. He wasn't even Ready and now looking back. He wasn't going to appreciate who I was and what I had to offer. It was ALL about what he could GET. But not telling that to me but "pretending" he wanted what I did was just NOT called for. He just sat back and acted Ok. I HATE that.
Men are just to complicated . Y'all need the most . This is part of why we as women just find it more gratifying to make money . With men needing so much , whose gonna take care of us ? I can handle the differences between the sexes but what I'm not willing to ever do is accept the "ego " with all the other things adhoc i.e lack of : maturity, leadership without running a slave trade business, finances , grown boy , just overall low vibes etc.
and this applies to women, too, in our growth. once you face the truth, acknowledge it, you either change for the better and grow or live a life of suffering!!!
DSNCB919 -That’s true! The real way to a woman’s heart is a man who is humble. We know how hard it is to open up as we have that issue also sometimes, so don’t be afraid of telling us how you feel because we’re trying to get to know you. It isn’t about manipulation or control. Humble men are emotionally strong but with boundaries, so they tend to be less affected by someone trying to take advantage of them therefore, their relationships are stronger. So in a nutshell, women admire humble men!
I did just that. My husband who I have been married to for 7 years, thought I would never leave him. He had it made as a husband. Cook, clean, iron cloths, did not have to want for nothing and I took care of him point blank period. Took care of him because he worked 7 days a week. He took me for granted. I always wanted to work on our marriage and would initiate talks and conversation. Thought he had the right to sleep around but enough was enough and when a woman is fed up, well it’s time to put things into action. one day he came home from work to an empty HOUSE and me and my belongings long gone and the two bills I paid in the house, water and cable, had them cut off. Its been almost two years since I left. I have not reached out to him period, I changed my phone number, cut off all social media. Cut off anyone associated with him including his family and have not looked back. He still has not grown up. Just turned 55 and still doing the same things. I had to let him know that fat meat is greasy. He found out where I live and has been stalking me and had the nerve to dump a bag of trash in my hallway as to get some reaction like a child, but I did nothing. I know It was him because of what the wrote on the wall and his handwriting. I am definitely wife material 100% and he just did not care . He lost a good thing and my momma always told me that one mans trash is another mans treasure.
DSNCB919 I don’t know. He is chasing some rainbow that does not exist. But he has some heath issues as well. Life is too short and I refuse to be on that train. I think in his mind there is always someone better. He will never find that outside of me for sure. Since I left I hear he has been money branching severely and have not kept a relationship for longer than 6months. He is a narcissist, diagnosed from a therapist. I knew it was time to leave and being a cancer patient and survivor, it was a no brainer for me to chose me and that is what I did. No looking back
I’m learning how to be a man and a husband and watching your videos help me. My lady is losing patience with me and I need to clamp down and get it together before I lose her. I don’t wanna lose her. Thank you Tony for the reminders and pat in the butt. For you ladies. Have patience and if he loves you he will change.
@@sainaboutrawally9761 walk away with your head held high. Some men want us to be patient with them but can't be patient with us, a relationship can't work in that way.
Sainabou Trawally If he doesn’t treat you right then bounce. It’ll get worse. But if you see he’s trying give him one chance. First time shame on him. 2nd time shame on you. There’s no 3 strikes.
Wanjiru Jane true. And sometimes it’s best to let them go. If they run off and work on themselves then maybe another chance down the line that’s what I did and I’m taking advantage of my 2nd chance cause I know I won’t get a third with her. I’m still struggling tho and learning.
A lot of men today are lost, and it is so sad to me that it seems like almost every man these days cheats. I have already resigned myself to never having kids, because I know if I do, I will be left as a single mom. Ive seen it happen multiple times. There is a code of honor that has been forgotten. Dating apps make cheating so easy. When the female species decides not to procreate because the male species isnt sticking around with honor, integrity and commitment, thats when you know something is wrong.
@August The truth is a lot of men and women are lost; we can't only put the blame on man. Don't throw in the towel and decide not to have kids. Listen to Tony's video What men already know. You'll have to decide if your a panhandler or the Boss
Was talking to a GF of mine she who many male friends out there dating -- They tell her its 20 wmn to 1 man --- they have zero reason and zero desire to try.🤷🏼♀️
@@lisaariottiart Well, the good thing about THAT situation is that if men are not bothering to even Google the world stats to know how many men there are in the world -- 20 to 1? HA! They wish! -- it is obvious that they should be left right where they are...
Ego is a sinful nature when its used to block a woman out of the heart of a man. He taking everything that makes him a good man. That God made him to be and use it as a weapon against the woman & the family. That's sign of a weak man who cannot be trusted. He spends all his time breaking down a woman making her show her insecurities. He can use the very thing he doesn't want against you. The trick of the devil. He will regret it!
So true! I forgiven him for all he did...lovebomb me again to accept and believe that he has changed thought he was a true man of God that I fell in love with at first. Only to find out he just dis me again for the 2nd time around for no reason at all and cancel wedding plans and all, he has his own reason accusing me I was unfaithful and liar for the 2nd time around same reason he gave me when we were first together...God knew how faithful I was to him all along. What kind of a man who will do that ? Heartless, cruel, rude mean man who has no genuine plan. I dont deserve to be treated like a doormat!
AnnaB we have all been deceived in some type of way. Thank the lord you didn't Marry into that situation. That would of been a whole other battle to fight.
@@riffkart329 I know his rejection is indeed Gods protection for me. He keeps calling and messaging me looking for an access again. Satan prowls around looking for someone to devour. I loved him for the 2nd time around yet he left me in so much pain without valid reason at all he just shut me off, and accused me that Im this and that unfaithful and liar. Im like wow! this is it! Glad I didnt get married to this man! otherwise my life will be miserable forever. A good man of God will pursue me and wherever i will be he will find me under the wings of my father.....
🤦🏽♀️ These immature men need to learn God, then self 🙄. They lack self love..... That which is the best love! If he can’t or doesn’t know how to love himself, he sure as heck can’t know how to love you.....😩 Sad!
@lol lol not always true. There are many men who prey on women they think are weak or are energy vampires who will drain positive energy from people because they lack it.
lol lol your a joke.... not one women in this comment actually said they are or have entertained relationships with those men. It was a comment that obviously offended you. The saying goes the hurt dog hollers✌🏾
Truth!!!! Im in that season now where I CHOSE to confront MY truth. It is HARD! It requires sacrifice and discipline as Tony stated. What I have learned is MEN and WOMEN will not change until they are ready! We can not force anyone because we all have to go through certain seasons. Either we will learn on our own time or when God chooses his time , it will not be pretty. God will place us in seasons when he will strip us of EVERYTHING in order to get our attention. It will feel like punishment but it will end up being a blessing in the end. It is unfair to force ANYONE to be who you want them to be because he/she may not be in the same season as you. You have a choice to leave or stay! YOU have the power! Keep spreading light Tony! Some men may be hating BUT their watching🙌🙌🙌🙌
Very much so but when married different ball game some males and females are tricked into marriage not knowing thier being fooled never intended to grow but to be used by selfish gain so sad.
@@cubbiesmith4505 You are correct! Sad! I encourage EVERYONE to connect strongly with God BEFORE saying yes because chilllllllllle our lil hearts be all excited that we are letting our hearts out think our minds. Lol.
@@cubbiesmith4505 why not seperate? If you two aren't working out, there's no reason to stay. Find a mate who is ready for a relationship and live your life.
I don’t get the point of this video. Ladies ... men often learn when it’s too late. Nobody has time to be sitting around & strategically trick men into learning & growing when they’re not interested. If he is not the way that you want him now, then leave, especially if it’s causing you pain. Even if the man is interested in changing, it’s going to take years & loooooong painful journey that he’s better off on his own.
Society has conditioned both men and women to think and act a certain way. We have all bought into a societal lie. Work on your own personal growth BEFORE even thinking about being in a relationship and don't accept anyone who is not grown mentally emotionally and spiritually.
To see our men trying to grow. YES, I think so. Its strength to us. But for Men, Like he said they do it alone or in other ways that will cultivate change. It's how they're made.
I can understand a man not wanting to be held accountable for his growth that he publicly puts out there, and wanting to grow and learn at his own pace. However, choosing to remain ignorant and/or feigning ignorance while he's secretly growing behind the scenes will work against him in a relationship.
When they tired, used up, done seen more tail than a toliet seat in an international airport and when they walk and sound like a rickety old wagon now they want unconditional love. Nothing works anymore. I'm good. They can keep it.
TheMsmith77 so what flaws do you have? You can see everything a man can do wrong but yet have identified your own deficiencies. I guess it’s easier to judge others rather than self
@@larkford4460 You must be the raggedy wagon I am talking about. All these comments and you come at me? What about the people who agreed AND laughed??? Look at the comment below? Nothing about Shanti Om comment? Nothing but truth there. I guess the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Or maybe, you ARE the personalities we are all talking about. Squeak squeekKKKKK lol
@@TheMsmith77 by the time they get this age most of them just looking for somebody to take care of them in their old age to avoid going to a nursing home.
So true, I was watching your video and my ex asked me to turn it off. And then he said that’s the guy that was abusing his girl , he’s a fraud smh. It was definitely time to walk away.
I was playing a ChazzEllis UA-cam video about 10 things a player does while the guy I was dating was in The room and he said it was rubbish. But it wasn’t!!!
This is SO true. I have recently observed it by experience. When my boyfriend saw that I was watching Tony & pastor RC Blake's jr.'s videos on UA-cam, he told me I didn't need to be watching them & said it was brainwashing me 🙃 He was MAD. Very toxic individual. We broke up last week. 😌 He truly was a grown boy inside & out. I had to open my eyes up to it & quit fooling around!! Tony, you are so on point down to the last detail! Not sure why people want to debate in the comments, because to me this is a peaceful place to come that serves up pure truth that can only help & not hurt you. Thank you.
My ex husband didn't really care if he was right or wrong, as long as he didn't get corrected in my presence, and his excuses for not getting counseling or listening to motivational shows was, "I know who I am, I'm not in a fantasy world, I know right from wrong", etc. I'm so glad he's been out of my life completely for the last 8+ years THANKYOUJESUS and HALLELUJAH
We have the freedom to decide our choice...but we dont have the freedom to decide our consequences.Profound!The truth is profound...never comes back void!
Words are not adequate to express my appreciation for the work you do and the truth you speak. Bless your precious heart, your clear mind, and your humble soul. Much respect to your Queen for walking this path with you.
Amazing. Edifying and confirming for me. I have been extremely fustrated in my experiences with men, and cannot understand the stubborness, wanting to stay ignorant/refusal to grow. Now understand, I take responsibility for my own growth and evolution, who I allow in my life. I have made my mistakes and grown. However this very topic that this very wise man is speaking of, is just something that I observe everywhere. Great video
Wow this is so deep, u r speaking the truth, I never thought of it like tht but It makes sense. He would get mad & be like I don't want to hear tht shi...
You always making sense. I look forward to learning something new from you ( or old but the way you word things it’s new.). I sent my sister several of your videos. She said she likes the way you think. Your methods of teaching without putting anyone down is awesome. You have me not afraid of admitting where I fall short in the areas of life where I need to improve because it don’t sound so bad. Esp if I am willing and able to make the changes need to be a better version of myself. From a mans point of view. Thank you.
I am listening to this for the second time a year later ... still true ... there are men devoted to their own growth because they are desiring all that God has for them, BUT, that follows the trend: they cry alone and learn alone, or in the company of a few trusted men. The trick is finding out, EARLY, if a man is actually interested in growing and learning... and getting into circles in which that is more common, not less common ... but, you already told us about the three Bs ... thank you very much for the elevation tips, and they DO work!
Man listen all this misinformation goin around and then you got a brother like Tony who is giving real game away this makes me take an even closer look at the man in the mirror I’m working to be a husband out here and these videos and being apart of the blessed tribe has helped me tremendously understand myself as a man I really appreciate your videos man they are soooo eye opening
Dont worry about the men and them having a voice us woman need to continue to have a voice to create a healthy environment and relationships for us all can groom a happy and healthy generation for us all.The men will catch up..Thanks Tony Gaskins And Family and best last God..Blessings Upon Blessings Upon Blessings Upon Blessings Upon Blessings.
I was still ignorant. My first relationship ended after 9 years. I'm 28 now, I have a 2 year old daughter with my ex. She moved out and I didn't stop her. I realized all my flaws and willing to work on them, but she cant give me a chance. I was so stupid.
“Too late for old men” lol... anything that stops growing is already dead.. so if a man is 60 and still elevating on a cellular and divine level then it’s never to late. It only becomes too late when you’re on the deathbed looking back saying damn i should’ve did this and that
Occasionally old men change... I have seen some fabulous examples of this. It depends on how they want to finish and if it matters to them, and if they see that they are too old to take a chance on throwing everything away and starting over. It is not often SEEN, because an old man has a larger reputation to protect, but, it does happen.
I wish there were more messages out here instructing men how to grow and get themselves together, rather than so many messages geared towards instructing women how to cope with men.
Right!!!...👍🏼
🤗
Corretta Clark Very true. But sadly the available resources out here for men they don’t bother using.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 there are very few I see who will accept the info though which leaves us at a disadvantage smh
Absolutely, why we got to accommodate their needs and dysfunction. Pass they tests, cater to their needs, stroke their egos, ugh.
What I don’t understand is why dating a man is so difficult? Why do women have to be learning about men as if they were rare creatures. Do men not want to be in love? I wish MEN was a subject at school. It would have saved me from all this pain.
I learned later in life that their egos make them mess up relationships. Their call us on our faults all the time exactly what they don't want us to do with them but we don't try to hurt to hurt the men we care about. They have a negative view of us and we have to tiptoe around their feelings to keep the peace. A tiring job.
@@ceceliaellis9916 And I won't do it again. If you feel that way. Get out. There should be balance. If I can't speak my mind. That's not Healthy. We should be able to talk and work on changing together or ALONE. As long as it's done.
we care about
Agreed!
Lemyza Preciado jeeeeesssuuuuu!!!👍🏽
All that guarding egos seems like a very miserable life nothing is more satisfying than loving and being loved
Preach, that's why women on average tend to live longer. Their ego sends them to the grave earlier.
Gloria Mcqueen Agree
I I know, right?!
That's why I want God to choose for me because its pretty bad out here!! You have to stay prayed up!!
R T omg this is my motto! God has to do it. And guess what....HE WILL!
So true
R T amen!
Amen, God makes the best choices.
Amen this is so true
I'm a man of transparency..... I speak very freely about how I feel& how I'm feeling.... I consider myself one of the rare guys out here who WILL allow my emotions & feelings to be KNOWN .
Rynon Brown 💯
I salute you for that because a lot of men feel as though showing emotions makes them look less masculine.
@@bre_s9164 yes indeed I'm NOTHING like what he's saying... Not ALL men don't show emotions & feelings....I SHOW my feelings & as I said I'm VERY transparent... I wear my heart & emotions on my sleeve &I'm OK with that... Because its who I am
@@rynonbrown8227 Love it! Consistency, transparency, is everything to me. I had ALL that but he clammed up and left. When Tony said when it comes to HEART work which is HARD work. That's just it. SOME Men can't.
Because it would have warranted change and to be more vulnerable and he didn't want that. Some Men just can't. Communication is so important. So he found something EASIER. But I know I am THE HEART WORK.
@@Dlovely516 ....wow...I'm really sorry to hear that he decided to leave.... Sounds like he didn't take the time to HEAL his heart so that he wouldn't have had any problems.... healing requires work and a lot of people just don't want to take the time to do it but what they don't realize is once they do they'll be glad they did because it's all about having a healthy loving relationship....which is what tony is talking about😊
Anybody else came straight down to read the comments?
Meeeee
every video.
You’re helping me as a man in many ways by watching these videos. You gave me a great epiphany lately in one of your videos, and I’m very grateful. God bless you Tony 🙏🏾
Eon Hardy God bless you for that
We need to clone this man asap
Yes King!!!! Much love and Light!!!
Dawn Artrey these videos are very triggering for me .. I see why most men run
Eon Hardy Wow!
5 years I wasted trying to force my addicted spouse to rectify his drinking, cheating and drug use. In the end when I left him, he blamed the destruction of our engagement fully on my "unrealistic expectations". He legitimately told me I should just start drinking and taking drugs so we could get a long better. BOYBYE! My life has become joyful again, so it's clear to me who the real problem was.
He's crazy! Glad you were delivered Sis!! ❤
A person has to WANT to change or grow. If THEY do not want it then YOU are fighting a losing battle.
Wow smh. Happy you chose to move on & love yourself 👸🏾👏🏾
Smart men learn when they know they will lose something valuable otherwise. Kinda like you did with your wife. Men who are not ready or just simply have no intentions of changing are pointless to pursue.
On point
Agree.
I took me some time to learn I know I'm not to late but when my woman comes back I'm giving her the ring and no longer letting my friends influence me into silly ways
Sometimes it may be best to leave men who are not emotionally available or ready for a relationship, alone. Time is too valuable to wate on someone who isn't willing to grow.
@@DSNCB919 You should have treated her right from the jump. You didnt prioritize her and let your friends "encourage" you to behave badly. You blaming your own actions that you CHOSE to do all on your own, onto your friends, shows that you haven't grown.. Take full responsibility PERIOD. You dont deserve her or a second, third fourth or 100th chance from her, and I'm sure shes given you plenty... When a woman is done she is done. Leave that woman alone and let her be with a man that DESERVES her. If you cared about her, truly cared about her with all of your heart, she would be with you right now. She wouldn't have left because you wouldn't have given her a reason to.. Leave her in peace. Treat the next woman better.
Not wanting too grow and stunt others growth sounds demonic.
Narcissistic people do this to control their victims, and government does this to control the masses.
@@rmg2419 you've said nothing but a word, true dat!
Any person that don't wanna hear growth from their significant other....ruuunnn!!!
So true. I spoke about growth a lot. I remember now speaking of God and giving lots of wisdom. NOT in a bible study preachy way. But just talking in general. I was intimidating. He wasn't even Ready and now looking back. He wasn't going to appreciate who I was and what I had to offer. It was ALL about what he could GET. But not telling that to me but "pretending" he wanted what I did was just NOT called for. He just sat back and acted Ok. I HATE that.
@@Dlovely516 pray for them and start winning somewhere else. By time they look up...u advanced so much in a blink of an eye
@@j-dubdmg1 Thank You. 😊
Yup! So true!! 🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
I have to trick you into growing... it’s a no for me dawg.
I appreciate you Tony.
My sentiments exactly. You are better off finding someone who is already interested in growth and who is intentional about it.
Men are just to complicated . Y'all need the most . This is part of why we as women just find it more gratifying to make money . With men needing so much , whose gonna take care of us ? I can handle the differences between the sexes but what I'm not willing to ever do is accept the "ego " with all the other things adhoc i.e lack of : maturity, leadership without running a slave trade business, finances , grown boy , just overall low vibes etc.
hopeinajar77 thank you for finding pleasant words
Agree!
hopeinajar77 wow, so eloquently said with such truth! 💯💯💯
Preach !
cece love 💕
The truth will not allow you to remain the same. Amazing word, Tony.
and this applies to women, too, in our growth. once you face the truth, acknowledge it, you either change for the better and grow or live a life of suffering!!!
When the woman really leaves... I dont mean a month I mean 6 months to a year.... that's when we learn lol
DSNCB919 -That’s true! The real way to a woman’s heart is a man who is humble. We know how hard it is to open up as we have that issue also sometimes, so don’t be afraid of telling us how you feel because we’re trying to get to know you. It isn’t about manipulation or control. Humble men are emotionally strong but with boundaries, so they tend to be less affected by someone trying to take advantage of them therefore, their relationships are stronger. So in a nutshell, women admire humble men!
I did just that. My husband who I have been married to for 7 years, thought I would never leave him. He had it made as a husband. Cook, clean, iron cloths, did not have to want for nothing and I took care of him point blank period. Took care of him because he worked 7 days a week. He took me for granted. I always wanted to work on our marriage and would initiate talks and conversation. Thought he had the right to sleep around but enough was enough and when a woman is fed up, well it’s time to put things into action. one day he came home from work to an empty HOUSE and me and my belongings long gone and the two bills I paid in the house, water and cable, had them cut off. Its been almost two years since I left. I have not reached out to him period, I changed my phone number, cut off all social media. Cut off anyone associated with him including his family and have not looked back.
He still has not grown up. Just turned 55 and still doing the same things. I had to let him know that fat meat is greasy. He found out where I live and has been stalking me and had the nerve to dump a bag of trash in my hallway as to get some reaction like a child, but I did nothing. I know It was him because of what the wrote on the wall and his handwriting.
I am definitely wife material 100% and he just did not care . He lost a good thing and my momma always told me that one mans trash is another mans treasure.
@@bravesoul8572 55 what's to sleep around with at 55?
DSNCB919 I don’t know. He is chasing some rainbow that does not exist. But he has some heath issues as well. Life is too short and I refuse to be on that train. I think in his mind there is always someone better. He will never find that outside of me for sure. Since I left I hear he has been money branching severely and have not kept a relationship for longer than 6months. He is a narcissist, diagnosed from a therapist. I knew it was time to leave and being a cancer patient and survivor, it was a no brainer for me to chose me and that is what I did. No looking back
Not if she was the problem
I’m learning how to be a man and a husband and watching your videos help me. My lady is losing patience with me and I need to clamp down and get it together before I lose her. I don’t wanna lose her. Thank you Tony for the reminders and pat in the butt.
For you ladies. Have patience and if he loves you he will change.
HAIRICOME Barber even if he doesn’t treat you right, should you still be patient with him? Or walk away?
@@sainaboutrawally9761 walk away with your head held high. Some men want us to be patient with them but can't be patient with us, a relationship can't work in that way.
Wanjiru Jane yea right...
Sainabou Trawally If he doesn’t treat you right then bounce. It’ll get worse. But if you see he’s trying give him one chance.
First time shame on him. 2nd time shame on you. There’s no 3 strikes.
Wanjiru Jane true. And sometimes it’s best to let them go. If they run off and work on themselves then maybe another chance down the line that’s what I did and I’m taking advantage of my 2nd chance cause I know I won’t get a third with her. I’m still struggling tho and learning.
A lot of men today are lost, and it is so sad to me that it seems like almost every man these days cheats. I have already resigned myself to never having kids, because I know if I do, I will be left as a single mom. Ive seen it happen multiple times. There is a code of honor that has been forgotten. Dating apps make cheating so easy. When the female species decides not to procreate because the male species isnt sticking around with honor, integrity and commitment, thats when you know something is wrong.
@August The truth is a lot of men and women are lost; we can't only put the blame on man. Don't throw in the towel and decide not to have kids.
Listen to Tony's video What men already know. You'll have to decide if your a panhandler or the Boss
Dont manifest that kind of life for yourself. Start reading books that help reprogram your mind. Speak positivity into your future.
Yes this is so sad for many women not to trust men to be there and tKe this responsibility coz they chase happiness with their dicks or else....
Was talking to a GF of mine she who many male friends out there dating -- They tell her its 20 wmn to 1 man --- they have zero reason and zero desire to try.🤷🏼♀️
@@lisaariottiart Well, the good thing about THAT situation is that if men are not bothering to even Google the world stats to know how many men there are in the world -- 20 to 1? HA! They wish! -- it is obvious that they should be left right where they are...
Sounds incredible one sided. I guess men aren’t as simple as they say.
Yup! They never were.
Ego is a sinful nature when its used to block a woman out of the heart of a man. He taking everything that makes him a good man. That God made him to be and use it as a weapon against the woman & the family. That's sign of a weak man who cannot be trusted. He spends all his time breaking down a woman making her show her insecurities. He can use the very thing he doesn't want against you. The trick of the devil. He will regret it!
So true! I forgiven him for all he did...lovebomb me again to accept and believe that he has changed thought he was a true man of God that I fell in love with at first. Only to find out he just dis me again for the 2nd time around for no reason at all and cancel wedding plans and all, he has his own reason accusing me I was unfaithful and liar for the 2nd time around same reason he gave me when we were first together...God knew how faithful I was to him all along. What kind of a man who will do that ? Heartless, cruel, rude mean man who has no genuine plan. I dont deserve to be treated like a doormat!
Good point!!!!! Very good point!
AnnaB we have all been deceived in some type of way. Thank the lord you didn't Marry into that situation. That would of been a whole other battle to fight.
@@riffkart329 I know his rejection is indeed Gods protection for me. He keeps calling and messaging me looking for an access again. Satan prowls around looking for someone to devour. I loved him for the 2nd time around yet he left me in so much pain without valid reason at all he just shut me off, and accused me that Im this and that unfaithful and liar. Im like wow! this is it! Glad I didnt get married to this man! otherwise my life will be miserable forever. A good man of God will pursue me and wherever i will be he will find me under the wings of my father.....
Amen
🤦🏽♀️ These immature men need to learn God, then self 🙄. They lack self love..... That which is the best love! If he can’t or doesn’t know how to love himself, he sure as heck can’t know how to love you.....😩 Sad!
KenJai Mc sister I just said that today. They don’t even really love themselves... so they sure don’t know how to love Anyone else.
Exactly!
@lol lol not always true. There are many men who prey on women they think are weak or are energy vampires who will drain positive energy from people because they lack it.
lol lol your a joke.... not one women in this comment actually said they are or have entertained relationships with those men. It was a comment that obviously offended you. The saying goes the hurt dog hollers✌🏾
lol lol 🤨
Truth!!!! Im in that season now where I CHOSE to confront MY truth. It is HARD! It requires sacrifice and discipline as Tony stated. What I have learned is MEN and WOMEN will not change until they are ready! We can not force anyone because we all have to go through certain seasons. Either we will learn on our own time or when God chooses his time , it will not be pretty. God will place us in seasons when he will strip us of EVERYTHING in order to get our attention. It will feel like punishment but it will end up being a blessing in the end. It is unfair to force ANYONE to be who you want them to be because he/she may not be in the same season as you. You have a choice to leave or stay! YOU have the power! Keep spreading light Tony! Some men may be hating BUT their watching🙌🙌🙌🙌
Very much so but when married different ball game some males and females are tricked into marriage not knowing thier being fooled never intended to grow but to be used by selfish gain so sad.
@@cubbiesmith4505 You are correct! Sad! I encourage EVERYONE to connect strongly with God BEFORE saying yes because chilllllllllle our lil hearts be all excited that we are letting our hearts out think our minds. Lol.
@@cubbiesmith4505 why not seperate? If you two aren't working out, there's no reason to stay. Find a mate who is ready for a relationship and live your life.
Men need to get over their egos... honestly it’s so boring....the larger the ego..... the less respect they get from me!
I don’t get the point of this video.
Ladies ... men often learn when it’s too late. Nobody has time to be sitting around & strategically trick men into learning & growing when they’re not interested. If he is not the way that you want him now, then leave, especially if it’s causing you pain. Even if the man is interested in changing, it’s going to take years & loooooong painful journey that he’s better off on his own.
Amanda Salas that’s the difference: men have 0 tolerance level. But no one forced you to accept a man’s behavior correct????
Anika Davidson 💯
So I have to downgrade and act stupid just because he has a huge ego? I have to protect him ?
Who TF protects me ???
No way in hell.
I didn't hear Tony say that🤔🤔
And I never said this was what Tony said. This is what IM saying.
Ladies standards. He either lives by them or get rid of him!
People who are lead by their ego will always be afraid to be vulnerable. I am no longer operating from a place of ego and am truly free 🙏🏾🙂.
I tell my seven year old, MAKE A DECISION, you determine the outcome! He needs to hold himself ACCOUNTABLE!!!
These men are a piece of work 😂
Tee Wyatt a masterpiece at work✍🏾
Mean work
So tired 😂
they do learn ...when....its toooooo late .
Anna agree, it’s like running into a brick wall something really have to wake them up (reality check)
Listen .. this is a WORD!!!! 🙏🏾
Society has conditioned both men and women to think and act a certain way. We have all bought into a societal lie. Work on your own personal growth BEFORE even thinking about being in a relationship and don't accept anyone who is not grown mentally emotionally and spiritually.
#Boom
Exactly...he wants to learn without you realizing he is hearing every word
Shouldn’t that be seen as a strength to want to learn, be better and grow in truth?
To see our men trying to grow. YES, I think so. Its strength to us. But for Men, Like he said they do it alone or in other ways that will cultivate change. It's how they're made.
Men do not like to show weakness so they would rather learn silently.
men have a fragile ego they don't like to be tough guided or admit to be wrong
Tony Gaskins is the epitome of a man of God. And the best example for young black men
"Sad that there is even a lesson about this!! Smh.....but yet they function in every other aspects in life".....thank you Tony Gaskins
I can understand a man not wanting to be held accountable for his growth that he publicly puts out there, and wanting to grow and learn at his own pace. However, choosing to remain ignorant and/or feigning ignorance while he's secretly growing behind the scenes will work against him in a relationship.
Definitely.
I wish all men had your insight.❤ I swear, all broken men need to be locked up in a room with you for like, a month!😂😂😂
Growth=pain and accountability
Ego is our destruction.
A bit to late when these males are aged 64 and over it's a lost cause.
When they tired, used up, done seen more tail than a toliet seat in an international airport and when they walk and sound like a rickety old wagon now they want unconditional love. Nothing works anymore. I'm good. They can keep it.
TheMsmith77 so what flaws do you have? You can see everything a man can do wrong but yet have identified your own deficiencies. I guess it’s easier to judge others rather than self
@@larkford4460 You must be the raggedy wagon I am talking about. All these comments and you come at me? What about the people who agreed AND laughed??? Look at the comment below? Nothing about Shanti Om comment? Nothing but truth there. I guess the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Or maybe, you ARE the personalities we are all talking about. Squeak squeekKKKKK lol
For some 35 and over...they may come.from a two parent household see everything right and decide to be a player for life. Smh!
@@TheMsmith77 by the time they get this age most of them just looking for somebody to take care of them in their old age to avoid going to a nursing home.
Shouldn’t that be seen as a strength to want to learn and be better?
You are such a wise man!
Man I just feel a Godly peace listening to you, thank you for your words
So true, I was watching your video and my ex asked me to turn it off. And then he said that’s the guy that was abusing his girl , he’s a fraud smh. It was definitely time to walk away.
Tony, you snapped on this one. Thank you for sharing the keys. 💯
You talk at the perfect pace. Thank you so much for this.
I was playing a ChazzEllis UA-cam video about 10 things a player does while the guy I was dating was in The room and he said it was rubbish. But it wasn’t!!!
This was so good Tony. Thank you!
"The truth will not allow you to stay the same..." COME ON TONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPEAK!!!!!!!!
You are so true in what you are saying. Listen to this young man what he is saying is so true. Thank you Tony for doing what God has blessed you with.
I have been watching & learning. Thank you Tony
You are speaking 100% truth my brother!♡♡♡
Thank you Tony...this message benefied me a lot.
This is SO true. I have recently observed it by experience. When my boyfriend saw that I was watching Tony & pastor RC Blake's jr.'s videos on UA-cam, he told me I didn't need to be watching them & said it was brainwashing me 🙃 He was MAD. Very toxic individual. We broke up last week. 😌 He truly was a grown boy inside & out. I had to open my eyes up to it & quit fooling around!! Tony, you are so on point down to the last detail! Not sure why people want to debate in the comments, because to me this is a peaceful place to come that serves up pure truth that can only help & not hurt you. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing what my father never shared to me ❤️you are really helping many women
My ex husband didn't really care if he was right or wrong, as long as he didn't get corrected in my presence, and his excuses for not getting counseling or listening to motivational shows was, "I know who I am, I'm not in a fantasy world, I know right from wrong", etc. I'm so glad he's been out of my life completely for the last 8+ years THANKYOUJESUS and HALLELUJAH
Speak The Truth “TG”!
Your a good Man your wife is a blessed woman. Your words are a blessing for me. I appreciate you.
We have the freedom to decide our choice...but we dont have the freedom to decide our consequences.Profound!The truth is profound...never comes back void!
Thanks Tony for this video. Real truth! Be Blessed
Words are not adequate to express my appreciation for the work you do and the truth you speak. Bless your precious heart, your clear mind, and your humble soul. Much respect to your Queen for walking this path with you.
Your eyes are beautiful..
This was so deep imma play it again. I'm loving this journey🙌🏽
Amazing. Edifying and confirming for me. I have been extremely fustrated in my experiences with men, and cannot understand the stubborness, wanting to stay ignorant/refusal to grow. Now understand, I take responsibility for my own growth and evolution, who I allow in my life. I have made my mistakes and grown. However this very topic that this very wise man is speaking of, is just something that I observe everywhere. Great video
WOW!!! So that's the message I missed as a young girl and woman! Better late than never. Many thanks for the straight talk!
Wow this is so deep, u r speaking the truth, I never thought of it like tht but It makes sense. He would get mad & be like I don't want to hear tht shi...
You always making sense. I look forward to learning something new from you ( or old but the way you word things it’s new.). I sent my sister several of your videos. She said she likes the way you think. Your methods of teaching without putting anyone down is awesome. You have me not afraid of admitting where I fall short in the areas of life where I need to improve because it don’t sound so bad. Esp if I am willing and able to make the changes need to be a better version of myself. From a mans point of view. Thank you.
Thank you. I needed to know this to better understand
God Bless Tony G. Preach!!!
Thank you so much Tony! This helps me to better understand a man. Thank you 😊
You are giving us gems!!!
This message is like a powerful sword..!
A double edged sword....cutting to the marrow....truth....is so powerful!
Thank God for you Tony!
I am listening to this for the second time a year later ... still true ... there are men devoted to their own growth because they are desiring all that God has for them, BUT, that follows the trend: they cry alone and learn alone, or in the company of a few trusted men. The trick is finding out, EARLY, if a man is actually interested in growing and learning... and getting into circles in which that is more common, not less common ... but, you already told us about the three Bs ... thank you very much for the elevation tips, and they DO work!
Appreciate you sir.
So much truth in this video🙏
Real talk God bless .
Man listen all this misinformation goin around and then you got a brother like Tony who is giving real game away this makes me take an even closer look at the man in the mirror I’m working to be a husband out here and these videos and being apart of the blessed tribe has helped me tremendously understand myself as a man I really appreciate your videos man they are soooo eye opening
Very well said!
Very well said Tony G.
😆 good grief man 👨 you are correct ! Your clips are amazing info !
I love what you do ❤️❤️... I’m A mentor on my mentor now🙏
I love and need these videos!
U remind of someone i knew from middle school same first name but different last name yall character the same and i love it
I love you because you seem to be a strong,and smart, and intelligent and a kind black man so power to you brother.
thanks, wonderful wisdom
Dont worry about the men and them having a voice us woman need to continue to have a voice to create a healthy environment and relationships for us all can groom a happy and healthy generation for us all.The men will catch up..Thanks Tony Gaskins And Family and best last God..Blessings Upon Blessings Upon Blessings Upon Blessings Upon Blessings.
Beautiful words thank you ❤️
You trying to make men understand.. thank u🙌🙌🙌🙌
Amen! I'm blessed
AMEN.......(( love all ur message))..💌
To late for old men. The young males there's a chance to learn.
I was still ignorant. My first relationship ended after 9 years. I'm 28 now, I have a 2 year old daughter with my ex. She moved out and I didn't stop her. I realized all my flaws and willing to work on them, but she cant give me a chance. I was so stupid.
“Too late for old men” lol... anything that stops growing is already dead.. so if a man is 60 and still elevating on a cellular and divine level then it’s never to late. It only becomes too late when you’re on the deathbed looking back saying damn i should’ve did this and that
Lark Ford lol nope... old farts stink 💨
Occasionally old men change... I have seen some fabulous examples of this. It depends on how they want to finish and if it matters to them, and if they see that they are too old to take a chance on throwing everything away and starting over. It is not often SEEN, because an old man has a larger reputation to protect, but, it does happen.
Man this is good!
Thank you... So clear. I have said for many years. Men pay attention to women when it involves sex, food or money.
This is so true . thank you
Guarding that ego is driven by a fear of vulnerability, my husband and I discuss this on our channel often @myers life coaching.
Be blessed!🙏
Thank you Tony
This is so true 😊
Wow ..this is amazing ! I wish you have book writen on this matter. I know he would be first to read.