Which TF2 Mercs Are Virgins?

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,3 тис.

  • @Sfhjgds
    @Sfhjgds 13 днів тому +3769

    This is what 7 years without an update does to a mann

    • @triple_check
      @triple_check 13 днів тому +150

      if i had a dollar for every time I’ve seen this comment id have 87 and counting

    • @The-British-Fella
      @The-British-Fella 13 днів тому +45

      Mann, what happened to this game.

    • @The-British-Fella
      @The-British-Fella 13 днів тому +8

      @@triple_check too many times...

    • @Anarqism
      @Anarqism 13 днів тому +24

      7 years in the without an update made you a fucking Which TF2 Mercs Are Virgins

    • @jaredtomongha1342
      @jaredtomongha1342 13 днів тому +3

      ​@@triple_checkI have 5x than that amount

  • @Blujay64
    @Blujay64 13 днів тому +1141

    You tellin me that Sniper has never used his Bushwacka?

    • @mjbarlowe
      @mjbarlowe 12 днів тому +91

      Oh dear god, that's even worse than "hitman someone else's heatmaker." I love it.

    • @Kerruo
      @Kerruo 11 днів тому +36

      Bushwacka...goddamn that's clever

    • @GummieBear2278
      @GummieBear2278 11 днів тому +16

      ​@@Kerruohe never got to soak someone with his jarate

    • @MooImABunny
      @MooImABunny 6 днів тому

      ​@@GummieBear2278ooh that is a specific fetish that I truely hope he doesn't have, otherwise normal gameplay is even more disgusting now

    • @The.Silicone.Valley
      @The.Silicone.Valley 5 днів тому +1

      @@GummieBear2278lol

  • @NieJa_2137
    @NieJa_2137 13 днів тому +1205

    Of the characters who aren't mentioned, Merasmus is also canonically a virgin, since he himself said in the "Blood Money" comic that his own blood can be treated as "certified pure" blood of a virgin

    • @RedshirtAfficionado
      @RedshirtAfficionado 13 днів тому +210

      Staying a virgin so you can cast more spells is hardcore

    • @AvocaToast
      @AvocaToast 13 днів тому +82

      Fun fact “virgin blood” originally meant “blood which is fresh and has not yet been used.”

    • @average-art3222
      @average-art3222 12 днів тому +31

      ​@@AvocaToast so basically he stayed unhorny and kept it that way so he could have more spells

    • @januszpolak254
      @januszpolak254 12 днів тому +16

      So that's how he become a wizard.

    • @AvocaToast
      @AvocaToast 12 днів тому +13

      @@average-art3222 Correct, if his Willy hasn’t been wonka’d because it hadn’t became a factory, his blood is virgin blood.

  • @spicymint2.0
    @spicymint2.0 13 днів тому +2399

    "Here lies Scout, he ran fast and died a VIRGIN! HAHAHA!" - Spy

    • @adam-Qt2
      @adam-Qt2 13 днів тому +247

      its possible that the matches we play happen before the events of expiration date, therefore making this line still maybe accurate

    • @timestorm5687
      @timestorm5687 13 днів тому +109

      Yeah, the "i got a bucket of chicken, you wanna do it" line got disproven so often i believe that they just kinda want him more as a virgin.

    • @youryoutubeyoda
      @youryoutubeyoda 13 днів тому +129

      Spy did assumed Scout was terrible with girls, which Scout disproved, as it turns out he is just terrible with "ladies". So Scout probably scored.

    • @tommarch.4493
      @tommarch.4493 13 днів тому +48

      @@timestorm5687 let's be real, that scout saying the story, scout lies, it's not a valuable source

    • @yurlocalstupido6762
      @yurlocalstupido6762 13 днів тому

      Scout did have segs he just didn’t tell the mercs he had sex

  • @mattf5855
    @mattf5855 13 днів тому +1517

    Sniper is canonically only two years older than scout actually

    • @somethingelseonalt5948
      @somethingelseonalt5948 13 днів тому +61

      three

    • @Bluestlark
      @Bluestlark 13 днів тому +183

      Even The voice actor said that he was told to voice a 40 year old character.... I don't know where people got that, yes I read the comics, 40 years ago new zealand zunk down because baby snipey got into a rocket.

    • @YourAverageZombie
      @YourAverageZombie 13 днів тому +111

      @@somethingelseonalt5948 valve cant count to that number so its still 2

    • @mattf5855
      @mattf5855 13 днів тому +125

      @@Bluestlarkno new zealand sunk 40 years ago, then ten years later sniper’s dad built the rocket and baby sniper escaped.

    • @somethingelseonalt5948
      @somethingelseonalt5948 13 днів тому +11

      @@YourAverageZombie ahh i see

  • @S0A0M0I0
    @S0A0M0I0 13 днів тому +670

    "Captured someone else's objective."
    🔥✍️

  • @arseinccookies861
    @arseinccookies861 13 днів тому +1488

    None of them will be virgins when I get there.

    • @TheKirBoi
      @TheKirBoi 12 днів тому +177

      I could just hear the Prowler theme reading that.

    • @theveltoris7161
      @theveltoris7161 12 днів тому +79

      Bro's minos prime instinct kicked in

    • @quitequeerquesadilla
      @quitequeerquesadilla 12 днів тому +48

      God damn it I really don't have a single original thought

    • @1dollartaco
      @1dollartaco 12 днів тому +12

      LMFAO

    • @lennylink69
      @lennylink69 12 днів тому +36

      tick tock heavy like a brinks truck

  • @C0wb0y234
    @C0wb0y234 13 днів тому +1134

    we need a fucking update

    • @beeeltee5550
      @beeeltee5550 13 днів тому +1

      a FUCKING* update

    • @Adamgamer42069
      @Adamgamer42069 13 днів тому +20

      No shit

    • @C0wb0y234
      @C0wb0y234 13 днів тому

      @ aye daddy haha, lemme get that dick

    • @Halberds6
      @Halberds6 13 днів тому +74

      Not yet we need to wait a year for TF2 to turn 18

    • @ChasingMoonMoths
      @ChasingMoonMoths 13 днів тому +9

      @@Halberds6 no we need updates 😭

  • @luwucian4497
    @luwucian4497 13 днів тому +665

    *Extra fact about Demoman not being a virgin:* In the comics you can see how he and Soldier are in a casino and each one is with a girl

    • @bobbyferg9173
      @bobbyferg9173 12 днів тому +89

      Admittedly it is nothing definitive, but that does actually show some proof that Soldier and Demo are into going to Vegas and getting with some ladies.
      So, it probably has to count for something

    • @nethersome826
      @nethersome826 12 днів тому +25

      also demo just being drunk and when not working prob in bars its a good guess hes ubered a charge before

    • @TableGrables
      @TableGrables 10 днів тому

      Which comic?

    • @nethersome826
      @nethersome826 9 днів тому +1

      @@TableGrables soldier demo war comic

  • @kloovers
    @kloovers 13 днів тому +1771

    Sniper has a kangaroo wife

    • @GyashC4
      @GyashC4 13 днів тому +290

      “I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife‼️🗣️‼️”

    • @EthanAshcraft-Newton
      @EthanAshcraft-Newton 13 днів тому +97

      Sniper is furry?!? Now we have 3 furries Pyro, Medic, and now Sniper (but I do have my suspicions on engie though)

    • @Blizzard199X
      @Blizzard199X 13 днів тому +44

      @@GyashC4Thanks mate!

    • @The-Holy-Devil
      @The-Holy-Devil 13 днів тому

      @@EthanAshcraft-Newton *sniper NAH*, being A furry, and fucking an animal is two different things, ones an alter-ego, and the other's a mental sickness. (furry=alter-ego) (beastiality=mental sickness)

    • @cheesepop7175
      @cheesepop7175 13 днів тому +28

      But sniper's wife is dead, because as stated in meet the sniper he bludgeoned his wife to death with a golf trophy

  • @riley-.-
    @riley-.- 13 днів тому +190

    The amount of euphemisms in this videos based on TF2 terms is absolutely incredible

  • @tescogourmet7293
    @tescogourmet7293 13 днів тому +557

    “Marketing their garden” ruined my day

    • @NoniNoners
      @NoniNoners 13 днів тому +42

      I think "Filling his MMMPH meter" was worse.

    • @makeandbreakgames1791
      @makeandbreakgames1791 13 днів тому +40

      "Hitman someone else's Heat maker" 🗣️🔥🗣️🔥

    • @qwedeh100
      @qwedeh100 13 днів тому +22

      "Sentry wrangling"

    • @Wzeyisbacklmao
      @Wzeyisbacklmao 13 днів тому +16

      Pushing payload to complete the objective

  • @sheacorduroy5565
    @sheacorduroy5565 13 днів тому +308

    Sniper’s the second youngest merc, only behind Scout.
    #HeavyTheChad

  • @CosmicTaco4
    @CosmicTaco4 13 днів тому +145

    The whole "all crates and no updates makes Jeremy a dull boy" situation is a bit of a double-edged sword because on one hand we're all slowly deteriorating but on the other it's resulted in some of the most batshit insane (in the best way possible) and interesting discussion topics on the internet

  • @RedGoldDolfin-ez9iy
    @RedGoldDolfin-ez9iy 13 днів тому +205

    Isn't Sniper 29 years old? He and the Scout are around the same age, I think

    • @lennylink69
      @lennylink69 12 днів тому +3

      it is

    • @ivscookie
      @ivscookie 11 днів тому +15

      Sniper is 26-29 years old, yeah. Scout is most likely 23, but could be 28 years old. I don't know, Lon must've not done any google searches.

    • @DD_Vandal
      @DD_Vandal 9 днів тому +8

      @@ivscookie scout is 27

    • @ivscookie
      @ivscookie 8 днів тому +1

      @@DD_Vandal I mean I said could be but I mean that's pretty close. Anyway, thanks for the clarification.

  • @НикитаКонстантинов-у7д

    Clearly when referring to Medic's wife Demoman mean Heavy

  • @baileyrogers9632
    @baileyrogers9632 13 днів тому +139

    Next video:
    "Which TF2 merc would be able to remember that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell?"

    • @june9914
      @june9914 13 днів тому +25

      Engi and medic know (obviously), demo somehow still remembers, scout is at a reading level where he would be learning this, heavy is a cointoss, sniper and spy probably fourgot, and pyro and soldier never knew that in the first place

    • @baileyrogers9632
      @baileyrogers9632 13 днів тому +3

      @june9914
      Hmmmm, interesting points...
      BUT! I think Scout would have never known what it was in the first place. The only things he consistently reads are comics and kids books, so I doubt he'd be reading anything that would be teaching him something. So Scout would not or ever know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell

    • @puffythedestroyer8878
      @puffythedestroyer8878 12 днів тому +4

      @@june9914 scout would pick up the word while playing Parasite Eve, and it all goes out the other ear when Aya’s on screen.

    • @EdinoRemerido
      @EdinoRemerido 12 днів тому +4

      ​@@june9914probably not heavy since, even though he is smart, he studied language, so chances are he would forget

    • @Squirdspingle
      @Squirdspingle 3 дні тому +1

      Not scout or soldier

  • @pissedoffbucketguy9115
    @pissedoffbucketguy9115 13 днів тому +125

    This is more in depth than most tf2 lore videos

  • @Goldenleyend
    @Goldenleyend 12 днів тому +100

    I'd like to believe sniper is a virgin, but the line "bludgeoned his wife with a golf trophy" is so oddly specific it makes me suspect he's telling on himself, as sort of what his breaking point was. Either way you know 100% sniper mains are virgins though.

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +33

      It's just moderately specific for comical effect. He specifically said feelings are for guys like that; spur of the moment killers with hot blood.

  • @KewlDood-mk4zn
    @KewlDood-mk4zn 13 днів тому +124

    3:40 My theory is that demoman "exploded stickies" on an anatomy model or plastic skeleton and was so drunk he thought it was medics wife

    • @SpringDavid
      @SpringDavid 10 днів тому

      I have a better theory: Demoman actually "exploded stickies" on Medic's wife and Medic just fucking killed her

    • @kyonghuni
      @kyonghuni 4 дні тому +8

      tf2 lore is so weird this could be an actual thing i'm afraid

  • @imwithmilk8162
    @imwithmilk8162 13 днів тому +533

    I always interpreted the bucket of chicken scene as what scout thinks dating is like, not something that he actually did
    Oh, and the spy line about scout being a virgin kind of backs me up here

    • @manhoovy193
      @manhoovy193 13 днів тому +101

      Yes father that was missing for his sons entire life knows more then he does

    • @owlfluffy
      @owlfluffy 13 днів тому +115

      i like to think he just doesn't beleve Scout could ever get a woman on his own (like he's not HIS SON). like Scout could bring home a lady, introduce her as his girlfriend and Spy would just ask how much he paid her.

    • @ggg0512_
      @ggg0512_ 13 днів тому +5

      didnt the girl in that scene reject him anyway?

    • @maxtube1952
      @maxtube1952 13 днів тому +47

      @@ggg0512_ "eh, okay" is a rejection?

    • @ggg0512_
      @ggg0512_ 13 днів тому +24

      @@maxtube1952 i just rewatched it and ive always thought she said 'nah its okay' as in 'nah im good' my world view is shattered, still dont believe this actually happened lmao

  • @owlfluffy
    @owlfluffy 13 днів тому +193

    finally we are breaking free from the "lmao is Scout virgin" narrative. that man is the town bicycle and no one can convince me otherwise.
    also, in Sniper's defence, Heavy's other two sisters do consider him a certified hottie so he's canonically handsome at least. he had to have gotten lucky at least ONCE C'MON

    • @GunSpyEnthusiast
      @GunSpyEnthusiast 12 днів тому +27

      I mean, they also found Soldier to be passable.
      They would've done marasmus at that rate.

    • @mershere
      @mershere 12 днів тому +46

      to also defend our boy mundy, he's quite the looker! he's just going up against australians, which is... unfair.

    • @Aaa-vp6ug
      @Aaa-vp6ug 12 днів тому +16

      @@mersherewhen the TF2 Australian Beauty Standard is having biceps at least twice the size of your head and everyone else has muscle 3 times the size of you… yeah you have no shot

    • @owlfluffy
      @owlfluffy 12 днів тому +9

      @GunSpyEnthusiast nah that was JUST Zhanna, the other two gals were visibly not interested

    • @GunSpyEnthusiast
      @GunSpyEnthusiast 12 днів тому +2

      @@owlfluffy I rest my case

  • @simonsmiles9186
    @simonsmiles9186 12 днів тому +13

    Bro forgot the canon event of "GET BEHIND ME DOKTOR"

  • @demongamer_IX
    @demongamer_IX 13 днів тому +67

    10:57 Counter Argument, how do we know she’s not adopted? Maybe Grey Mann adopted her so she could fight Saxton because adopting a child would be a lot easier and cheaper than having a relationship.

    • @Your_dear_friend9999
      @Your_dear_friend9999 13 днів тому +2

      I think same

    • @bobbyferg9173
      @bobbyferg9173 12 днів тому +14

      That's actually a pretty good point, especially when you consider how old Grey Mann is and how young Olivia is. Not to mention he seems like someone too occupied with his plans to bother with that

    • @crushedcan5378
      @crushedcan5378 11 днів тому +5

      @@bobbyferg9173 I always thought he just ran with the impregnation device plan.

    • @Master_Brutus
      @Master_Brutus День тому +1

      I always assumed he adopted her.

  • @NoahWood-j1v
    @NoahWood-j1v 13 днів тому +73

    *seeeeexeleeeent…*
    Also I love how scout in the expiration date scene is like an actual human with correct proportions but the girl was just slapped together in seconds
    Also pyro is British, I forgot where I got this from but pyro is British

  • @silversword404
    @silversword404 13 днів тому +182

    Expiration date is a memoir made by Scout. He intentionally left out that the woman who said “alright” to him after he asked to perform the Kazotski Kick with her saw his shortstop, cried, and left.

    • @GreenFeatherGuy
      @GreenFeatherGuy 13 днів тому +64

      she was expecting a backscatter but found the pretty boys pocket pistol instead😔

    • @GunSpyEnthusiast
      @GunSpyEnthusiast 13 днів тому +7

      Scout has excellent charisma.

    • @spinsolar
      @spinsolar 13 днів тому +20

      Man you guys just make anything up to Scout look bad huh?

    • @botondzoltannagy8849
      @botondzoltannagy8849 12 днів тому +4

      ​@@spinsolaryes they do

    • @wombat4191
      @wombat4191 12 днів тому +15

      That can't be true, he's canonically the God's gift to women so he can't be inadequately endowed.
      Then again, the same part of the comics is a bit of an indicator that he might be virgin after all. It doesn't straight up confirm it, but his reaction to god asking if he's had sex with all the ladies is "no" and not for example "some".

  • @shyguymike
    @shyguymike 13 днів тому +78

    Spy has a child with Scout's mother? I have never known! It must be one of Jeremy's brothers, considering we know his father is Sir Thomas John ‘Jones’ Woodward, OBE.

    • @jakubmroz4761
      @jakubmroz4761 11 днів тому +3

      Dude it's literally scout it's canon in game and constantly poked fun at in the comics

    • @shyguymike
      @shyguymike 11 днів тому +4

      @jakubmroz4761 I have no clue what you are talking about, Mr. Mroz.

    • @bbqmeandyoustinkypinkypewp4298
      @bbqmeandyoustinkypinkypewp4298 2 дні тому

      ​@@jakubmroz4761 you missed the joke.

  • @big_brein4
    @big_brein4 13 днів тому +29

    Finally, question that's been on everyones mind since tf2s release

  • @genericyoutuber8098
    @genericyoutuber8098 13 днів тому +76

    3:09 Actually, I believe an official TF2 comic artist has drawn art of medic and his wife, and demo and medic’s wife, and medic and heavy, so you decide how canon that is.

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +2

      Source

    • @sophierescigno5064
      @sophierescigno5064 11 днів тому +14

      YES! I saw them too! The artist drew sketches of Medic and his wife actually being besties and both flirting with heavy at some point? Lmaooo

    • @dexterousli
      @dexterousli 11 днів тому +4

      If we regard Demo's line as true and not just a drunken rambling, then all 3 are! One of the main comic artists drawing Medic rubbing Heavy's crotch in the sauna isn't canon, but the Beaux and Arrows achievement name and the TFConnect afterparty announcement are absolutely official.

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +5

      @@dexterousli Why tf everyone gotta make Heavy and Medic gay smh. Two men can't even have a close working relationship anymore goddamn..

    • @dexterousli
      @dexterousli 11 днів тому +24

      @@Shoxic666 The Sniper achievement for killing a Heavy and Medic pair is called "Beaux and Arrows." Google what "beaux" means and get back to me.

  • @laserliftproductions6544
    @laserliftproductions6544 13 днів тому +60

    As someone who is an actual engineer with a degree from a large PARTY school. Most electrical engineers (I suspect engie is mainly that type) are damn near celibate and scared of women including me 😢

    • @Sillygoober104
      @Sillygoober104 12 днів тому

      He ain’t gonna be celibate when I get my hands on him

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +4

      Engie told Blutarch Mann he'd break him in half in response to Mann being disrespectful (and accidentally electrifying him).
      He's not exactly got anxiety.

    • @ExplosiveFelines
      @ExplosiveFelines 11 днів тому +6

      I am moving to another country for an electrical engineering diploma and this is certified true. I am terrified of women.

    • @goomah8057
      @goomah8057 10 днів тому +3

      No issue. Just create yourself an android girlfriend.

    • @Sevenma
      @Sevenma 8 днів тому +1

      Scared of women? As a woman who's into this type, guys, YOU'RE the scary one smartasses, I never can guess if you feel cold because of anixiety or you're annoyed by the overwhelming stupidity I throw upon you when I talk 😭

  • @Nachotaco101
    @Nachotaco101 13 днів тому +31

    if demo hasn't had a drunken 1 knight stand with someone i would be surprised

  • @arcticdino1650
    @arcticdino1650 13 днів тому +100

    #heavythechad
    Judging by meet the Sniper, Sniper is too busy emptying his blader to capture the intel

    • @nonameneeded9664
      @nonameneeded9664 12 днів тому

      imagine you as i lady you went to bed with sniper then he proceeds to piss on you instead of cooming, would be real funny

  • @The-British-Fella
    @The-British-Fella 13 днів тому +64

    #heavythechad
    Heavy's reaction in poker night is like the large blokes reaction to the pretty dress in "of mice and men"

    • @Lonqudor
      @Lonqudor  13 днів тому +14

      Hope he doesn’t get shot like Lenny in the end 😢

    • @NoahWood-j1v
      @NoahWood-j1v 13 днів тому +2

      Lmao i’m doing omam in class (I knew he gets shot)

    • @The-British-Fella
      @The-British-Fella 13 днів тому +1

      @NoahWood-j1v lol, call him heavy in class from now on

  • @Dmgladiator2642
    @Dmgladiator2642 13 днів тому +50

    Jesus is there a single tf2 mechanic/weapon/strategy/whatever that can't be turned into an innuendo I didn't realize this game was a gold mine

    • @fernoagent8581
      @fernoagent8581 12 днів тому +2

      Getting my back burned

    • @nonameneeded9664
      @nonameneeded9664 12 днів тому +3

      @@fernoagent8581 getting meat shots from the scouts scatter gun

    • @goo894
      @goo894 12 днів тому +2

      If someone manages to conjure up a Baby Face's Blaster innuendo that doesn't come off as *extremely* creepy, I'll let them use their Boston Basher to put a bleeding effect on me.

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +1

      ​@@goo894"Baby face" refers to the Scout, it's a reference to Baby face Nelson. It's easier to turn things into innuendos without it being creepy when you actually know what the reference.

    • @spiceforspice3461
      @spiceforspice3461 11 днів тому +1

      @@Shoxic666 Yes, but there's no way that you could make an innuendo off of it that doesn't sound awful

  • @x8c8r
    @x8c8r 12 днів тому +19

    heavy fucking threatening someone to steal their woman is so unexpected

  • @jacksonpearson5678
    @jacksonpearson5678 13 днів тому +17

    6:32 I like to headcanon that engi built the Mimi sentry to experience being a father

  • @SketchG
    @SketchG 13 днів тому +50

    0:16 YO CONGRATS MAN

  • @tylenolz74
    @tylenolz74 13 днів тому +26

    THIS is the content the tf2 community needs

  • @reallythatbad1
    @reallythatbad1 13 днів тому +26

    I thought the comics confirmed scout was a virgin when he went to heaven.

  • @ani_star9729
    @ani_star9729 11 днів тому +14

    4:21 Sniper is actually only a few years older than Scout, being the second youngest merc at 26-30 years old.

    • @KommuniKatze385
      @KommuniKatze385 11 днів тому

      But He still Had a kangoroo wife It could Be soldiers Pure stupidity but If He even counts Demos drunk talking He light count that as Well

  • @zac9181
    @zac9181 13 днів тому +15

    What seven years without an update does to a community:

  • @TheOnlySauceBoss
    @TheOnlySauceBoss 13 днів тому +32

    Scout is literally said to be: "God's gift to women"

    • @Your_dear_friend9999
      @Your_dear_friend9999 13 днів тому +5

      And he's answer God that they don't lay with him, wich contradict that he's not a virgin

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +3

      ​@@Your_dear_friend9999Not *all* of them, never said he hadn't gotten a few.
      There is actually a number between 0 and 8 billion, fyi.

    • @Your_dear_friend9999
      @Your_dear_friend9999 11 днів тому

      @@Shoxic666 But he didn't mention that "any" of them lay with him, it's the same sophistic argument. It's didn't concretisize anything in that question.

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +3

      @@Your_dear_friend9999 It left it vague, but the odds favour Scout getting laid at least once. Also the fact he's rich from mercenary work.

    • @Your_dear_friend9999
      @Your_dear_friend9999 11 днів тому +1

      @Shoxic666 He probably send most of his money to theirs big family. But ok, he's charm very possible to get him a girlfriend someday, just need more patience and perseverance for it

  • @BreadLoafSFM
    @BreadLoafSFM 13 днів тому +32

    5:30 You forgot about his kangaroo wife, he Fortifies the Coumpound (kill me) every weekend with her.

  • @Totally_not_alpharius
    @Totally_not_alpharius 13 днів тому +26

    4:01 but what about his kangaroo wife?

    • @rainwobrain
      @rainwobrain 13 днів тому

      I was shaggin his fat furry kangaroo wife

  • @shishi6201
    @shishi6201 11 днів тому +6

    7:40
    counterpoint: it would be far more in-line with valve's sense of humor for pyro to have an extensive list of past lovers

  • @ddarianne6086
    @ddarianne6086 13 днів тому +15

    Not enough research done! I AM GREATLY DISSAPOINTED!
    In the WAR! update promotional comic you can see both BLU Soldier and RED demoman with girls in one of their many adventures toguether, so yeah dude shags A LOT, AND HOW CAN HE NOT HE IS LITERALLY THE MOST HANDSOME MERCENARY, THAT CHIN, DUDE IS FIT (not talking post being fired from RED) PLAYS THE PIANO AND IS A VERY EXOTIC BLACK SCOTTISH CICLOPS!
    FOR SHAME
    Also I can't believe you didn't mention THAT IN THE TF2 UPDATE BLOGS LITERALLY WAS WRITTEN OUT "Heavy and Medics love can't be stop!" HEAVY IS MEDICS WIFE DUUUUUUUH. wait...
    hahah I'm joinking but I can't believe the VA's got away with so much. Though their bromance has a lot more merit these days thanks to them HAHAHAHAHAH.
    And if you want to take the search for the sandvich cannon to the mercs... pyros does go along with the mistery woman...

  • @cream_pieluver
    @cream_pieluver 10 днів тому +5

    Pyro sees things all rainbow and child like
    Her being not a virgin would be more worrying

  • @TheEventGuy
    @TheEventGuy 8 днів тому +9

    Everyone knows that the only virgin aren't the mercs themselves, but the person controlling them.

  • @Republic_of_Jeffs
    @Republic_of_Jeffs 13 днів тому +286

    Scout is a virgin, I don't care what you say he just is

    • @Alex-n3t
      @Alex-n3t 13 днів тому +44

      He keeps trying for Pauling but is DEFINITELY not getting into the bedroom soon

    • @Malwils
      @Malwils 13 днів тому +40

      I got a bucket of chicken, wanna do it?
      No.

    • @Mai.Calico
      @Mai.Calico 13 днів тому +11

      Nobody who’s done it before has a jar of MILK

    • @revenantproxy9100
      @revenantproxy9100 13 днів тому +55

      His virginity regenerates over time.

    • @erenjager4236
      @erenjager4236 13 днів тому +10

      "he ran fast and died a virgin"

  • @OnePortalLover
    @OnePortalLover 8 днів тому +7

    Completely unrelated joke: why did the spy cross the road...
    Cause he was never really on your side!

  • @powersurge_beast
    @powersurge_beast 13 днів тому +15

    I'VE SAID VIRGIN SNIPER CHAD HEAVY FOR SO MANY YEARS

  • @ArronAnims
    @ArronAnims 13 днів тому +16

    Justice for my boy Marasmus

  • @Bradorks
    @Bradorks 13 днів тому +13

    #HeavyTheChad
    Dude you forgot the legendary moment on Well when Heavy and Medic danced the forbidden dance.

  • @remusthetrashking9255
    @remusthetrashking9255 11 днів тому +5

    soldier's dominating sniper: "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife.", (I personally) chalk that to the same thing as demo and medic

  • @wingedbluj1674
    @wingedbluj1674 13 днів тому +18

    I'm fairly certain Olivia Mann is adopted.

    • @MajorMrNuts
      @MajorMrNuts 12 днів тому

      Idk dude she has gray's mannerisms down to a tee

  • @migitri
    @migitri 13 днів тому +58

    Medic is my favorite but I've always thought it's funny that he allegedly got cucked.
    Also #heavythechad

  • @maxtube1952
    @maxtube1952 13 днів тому +7

    You missed a golden opportunity for a "baby face's blaster" joke with the Scout cosmetic "The Track Terrorizer."

  • @crushyou50
    @crushyou50 11 днів тому +5

    7:13 that pyro joke was insane 💀

  • @june9914
    @june9914 13 днів тому +7

    My headcanon is that medic has lost his virginity, but he regained it through mad scientist experiments

    • @thorveim1174
      @thorveim1174 День тому

      Most likely by surgically removing it from someone and adding it to himself. Like for souls

  • @Liphyrus
    @Liphyrus 6 днів тому +2

    Every day i am surprised and appalled by how far a community can go with its content without any updates

  • @AvaMarie02
    @AvaMarie02 13 днів тому +7

    THIS is the analysis the community needs

  • @MimiMulti
    @MimiMulti 13 днів тому +13

    5:18 i could change that (IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY )

  • @mogusisfunny
    @mogusisfunny 13 днів тому +4

    The Pyro part is interesting. I'll be waiting for your video on them.

  • @Lambdaman-t7s
    @Lambdaman-t7s 12 днів тому +16

    9:24 WHAT THE FU-

    • @tmacmagic1
      @tmacmagic1 5 днів тому

      I will now eat teleported bread

    • @Bonkconsumer
      @Bonkconsumer 9 годин тому

      He he fucks his gun

  • @Pudding404
    @Pudding404 12 днів тому +3

    One shudders to imagine the type of tf2 videos the community makes nearing 10 years without an update.
    I want to see where we go from here.

  • @BoinglyThe3th
    @BoinglyThe3th 10 днів тому +3

    Lon answered a question that nobody knew needed to be answered

  • @vvuukk4
    @vvuukk4 12 днів тому +7

    2:03 this is art

  • @M.E.L.T
    @M.E.L.T 12 днів тому +3

    My guess is that Pyro is not even a human. More like pyromania incarnated and it comes from hell, since we know that hell is a real place in TF2.

  • @nastylittlegremlin
    @nastylittlegremlin 5 днів тому +3

    "between a man and a woman" then what is that thang that heavy and medic do?

  • @Doktersocks
    @Doktersocks 13 днів тому +9

    This video caused me a lot of emotional pain. Keep up the good work #HeavyTheChad

  • @daxterthefox
    @daxterthefox 12 днів тому +6

    this is the most important question ever

  • @TheDestructiveGiant
    @TheDestructiveGiant 13 днів тому +3

    I refuse to believe that pyro even knows what sex is

    • @Master_Brutus
      @Master_Brutus День тому

      Even if Pyro is actually doing it, probably would think its doing something else.

  • @hussar7733
    @hussar7733 11 днів тому +3

    Doesn’t engie have a voice line „your buildings are like kids, beat them to make them work harder” or was it a loading screen tip ?

  • @Doc_Ludwig
    @Doc_Ludwig 13 днів тому +7

    My “wife” is heavy

  • @plumdowner1941
    @plumdowner1941 13 днів тому +6

    Of course Heavy is a chad. Medic exists, after all.

  • @tomsyalad9556
    @tomsyalad9556 12 днів тому +18

    In the comics when Solider Zhanna fight robots while naked and covered in honey, while Scout wants to leave Miss Pauling is transfixed, so her being a lesbian does have in universe evidence.

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +12

      You say that like 99% of the world wouldn't stop to gawk at two naked crazy people covered in honey fight blood powered robots...

    • @estatico1655
      @estatico1655 11 днів тому +2

      ​@@Shoxic666THIS

    • @estoybn474
      @estoybn474 10 днів тому +1

      No not really

  • @Jay_A_Comenter
    @Jay_A_Comenter 13 днів тому +6

    I’m not even gonna ask how people think of this

  • @toast-k1o
    @toast-k1o 9 днів тому +2

    heavy and medic definitely had some tension there. heavys like the only one that can handle medic, and lets him experiment on him. plus, they were close in the comments, plus that one achievement easter egg. ..and the baboon baby.

  • @ssharkiggo6432
    @ssharkiggo6432 13 днів тому +6

    Finally asking the real question

  • @WatchingVideos-w9v
    @WatchingVideos-w9v 10 днів тому +21

    0:39 tf do you mean 8billion?!

    • @moldypastaman
      @moldypastaman 10 днів тому +1

      He's joking dumbass

    • @andrejmedvec6104
      @andrejmedvec6104 9 днів тому +6

      Every person alive must watch him

    • @ZenderMan01
      @ZenderMan01 7 днів тому +3

      Dude this comment that just appeared when that part came had me dying

    • @Zackgamez_official2013
      @Zackgamez_official2013 7 днів тому +3

      There’s barely even 4 billion how are you gonna get 8billion let alone have a month to do it?

    • @andrejmedvec6104
      @andrejmedvec6104 7 днів тому +2

      @@Zackgamez_official2013 like alive or watching UA-cam?

  • @simplesimon031
    @simplesimon031 13 днів тому +9

    The vid is good, but I subbed for the puns
    (also Sniper is canonically 26, while Scout is around 23)

  • @trashdanarts
    @trashdanarts 5 днів тому +3

    there’s no way medic has a wife. that’s a homosexual if i’ve ever seen one

  • @boros4925
    @boros4925 13 днів тому +5

    We need that heavy update RIGHT FUCKING NOW GOD DAMN IT

  • @Cutcleaner
    @Cutcleaner 13 днів тому +7

    In meet the sniper, doesn’t he talk about bludgeoning his wife with a golf trophy?

    • @ihxlex9617
      @ihxlex9617 13 днів тому +19

      No, he was giving an anology about "kind people" (not him) doing that

    • @Cutcleaner
      @Cutcleaner 13 днів тому +1

      @@ihxlex9617I see, thank you

    • @Shoxic666
      @Shoxic666 11 днів тому +2

      ​@@ihxlex9617Also wrong. He never said he was kind, he was saying he's cold blooded and doesn't kill out of anger.
      Yall gotta rewatch the shorts, stg.

  • @wa4po
    @wa4po 13 днів тому +7

    1:32 you took the healthpack? while the medic was healing you??? this hurts my soul

  • @timestorm5687
    @timestorm5687 13 днів тому +8

    Well, medic does implant impregnated baboon uteruses quite often into people. So that could technically count. (He is literally making other people pregnant)
    #HeavyTheChad

  • @thespringlock1794
    @thespringlock1794 13 днів тому +2

    Hey I mean, we never saw the outcome of that fried chicken scenario. Chances are Scout did something similar to what he did with Zhanna (remembered his hopeless crush on Miss Pauling, and eventually annoyed her away from sippin his lil bonk).
    Also Jay’s tweet being deleted was more a byproduct of his entire account being deleted, so it’s a bit stronger evidence than ya make it out to be. But then again, he also said that they wouldn’t try to put a spotlight over the fact, so i think it was just for confirmation that Scout and Pauling wouldn’t get together.

  • @s70709
    @s70709 12 днів тому +4

    if sniper was in with a 3km radius with me he would be pregnant

  • @Wet_Deer
    @Wet_Deer 13 днів тому +3

    They have all captured the intelligence if you know what I mean. Its just that soldier and pyro don't know what it is.

  • @matthewc70
    @matthewc70 11 днів тому +3

    Heavy my bisexual king

  • @Umbrakinesis207
    @Umbrakinesis207 3 дні тому +1

    I think Sniper simply doesn't care about sex, and has no interest in it.

  • @KzWzT420
    @KzWzT420 12 днів тому +3

    3:18 and I know it might not be Canon but one of the official artists did a little comic with Medic fighting with his wife and then she does it with demo out of spite, it's really really funny 😭

  • @placek7125
    @placek7125 12 днів тому +1

    another "mystery of tf2 concrete texture" kind of video

  • @Guyman-fq5dc
    @Guyman-fq5dc 13 днів тому +6

    my Tom cardy rotted brain has spotted a piece of his music video here 6:56 i will now die happy knowing there is a bit of tom cardy in my tf2 video

    • @MuteTheGuy
      @MuteTheGuy 10 днів тому

      I was baffled to see Tom Cardy here but it was a welcoming surprise! And I am glad someone else noticed it too!

  • @WickedDoom12
    @WickedDoom12 13 днів тому +2

    "Let's ask which ones of the tf2 mercs are virgins"
    That one tf2 fan that had a crush on all the mercs: **looks around awkwardly**

  • @agoosewithaphone7102
    @agoosewithaphone7102 12 днів тому +16

    sniper isn't going to be a virgin when i find him

  • @BreadLoafSFM
    @BreadLoafSFM 13 днів тому

    I've needed this information for so long. Thank you, Lon'qudor.

  • @supermegabenji1026
    @supermegabenji1026 12 днів тому +3

    For Sniper. Soldier said "I will send my condolences to your kangaroo wife!"
    Does it mean Sniper has a Kangaroo wife and He is a Furry, or is it an Insult to Sniper because he was raised in the outback and that all Aussies have a kangaroo for a Wife.
    To me, It sounds like an Insult but half of the community is saying it should be Cannon. Just like that Team Fabulous video about the joke of Sniper having a Kangaroo Wife.

    • @mershere
      @mershere 12 днів тому +2

      its a weird one. it's likely just an insult, but tf2's world is so batshit insane that it might be on the table.

    • @supermegabenji1026
      @supermegabenji1026 12 днів тому +1

      @@mershere Yet, and most of the community wants it to be Batshit insane.

  • @aanproduction1516
    @aanproduction1516 12 днів тому +2

    I generally believe Pyro's schizophrenia is from birth and mostly revolves around fire (as seen in the comics, where the rest of the world for him is much less colorful), so I really don't think he had ever...you know, ambush someone with his Backburner..........
    Oh, and IF he is a woman (which is less likely, let's be honest) -- still no.

  • @linkfan160
    @linkfan160 13 днів тому +3

    There is no way Medic has a wife. Everyone knows Medic and Heavy have been a couple for 17 years.