Baby Ophelia's Birth Story, Stillborn at 39 Weeks 4 Days | A Mom's Story

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  • Опубліковано 10 січ 2025

КОМЕНТАРІ • 81

  • @brilliantbutblue
    @brilliantbutblue 3 роки тому +34

    Victoria l want you to know that l am so unbelievably sorry that you felt so let down by the Hospital, l as a Nurse am here to learn so that my Patients never ever feel like you did, l thankyou for your courage to share your precious Ophelia with us. 💞

    • @stephanieann8115
      @stephanieann8115 3 роки тому +6

      You are an example of what a Nurse really is. My daughter is a medical assistant and loves her patients too. I just wanted to say Thank you for caring.

    • @karincampbell9289
      @karincampbell9289 Рік тому +1

      Again, meeting with the administrators at this hospital and share this experience, offering suggestions on ways they could improve, could help other moms who suffer a stillbirth.

  • @marinaabbate3586
    @marinaabbate3586 2 роки тому +10

    I am so sorry for your loss. No baby should die that close to their due date it is incomprehensible. I never thought about still birth when I was pregnant with my kids. Both my kids were born at 27 weeks gestation in 2013 and 2015. I had guilt that the weren't safe in my womb. I felt like my body had let them down. But they are completely healthy kiddos. We are told how important it is to make it 39 weeks pregnant. So to hear these stories of women losing babies so much farther along than I ever was is crazy.

  • @southernbellebornnbred7811
    @southernbellebornnbred7811 2 роки тому +10

    What a beautiful name, "Ophelia". May her light, shine in heaven forever.

  • @jogoldcoaster2847
    @jogoldcoaster2847 3 роки тому +15

    Thank you for sharing Ophelia.........from one mother to another...

  • @stephanieann8115
    @stephanieann8115 3 роки тому +20

    Oh Victoria, please don’t be upset with yourself over anything you did or didn’t do after Miss Ophelia’s birth. Nobody would know what to do in a situation like that. Especially without some kind of guidance. I am so sorry for your loss. I’m also so sorry that the hospital didn’t do their job and help you emotionally. That’s their job as much as the physical aspect. They should have guided you through this. Or called specialists in to help you. You and your family are in my prayers.🙏🏼

  • @cathycurtis1218
    @cathycurtis1218 2 роки тому +26

    I lost my son at 39 weeks stillbirth as well. It was the most traumizing time of my life. I wish I would have spent more time with him. My mind was such a mess in those moments and missed opportunities. It's so heartbreaking.

    • @laurasinfield2431
      @laurasinfield2431 2 роки тому +1

      so sad for you all..there aren't really any words of consolation are there? I just hope that in time, your sorrow will ease. You will never forget your son but I hope that life will give you some happiness in the future

    • @standup2982
      @standup2982 Рік тому +1

      I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son.

    • @cecilia8118
      @cecilia8118 Рік тому +2

      I'm so sorry for your loss! ❤ (English is not my first language, so bare with me)
      It's very difficult to make decisions when your whole world is shattered! I have worked at a NICU as a pediatric/intensive care nurse for many years. I remember a lot of the babies I have taken care of - both those who made it and those who didn't. But there is one little boy that is special to me, and that I think of often. He was born at full term but was not able to breathe..at all. We tried so hard to save him, but nothing worked. It turned out he had a serious diaphragmatic hernia, and his lungs were so underdeveloped that it was impossible for him to survive. 😢 His parents just got a glimpse of him when he was born, and then he was rushed over to us at the NICU. The baby's father came with his son. But it's brutal to see all we have to do, trying to resuscitate a lifeless baby. So, we supported his choice to go back and be with his wife in the delivery ward. We kept on trying to resuscitate until we got the devastating results from the x-rays, and he was pronounced dead. Together with the doctor, I had to inform the parents that we were not able to save the baby and why. It's the most difficult conversation imaginable, and not one that gets easier with experience. It's just as heartbreaking every time!
      This couple chose not to see their baby boy. In my experience, none of the parents I have met have ever regretted seeing or holding their child that has passed away. But several regret not wanting to hold them or spending more time with them. With that knowledge in mind, I did what I could to change their mind. I do understand that seeing a dead baby, especially when it's your child, can sound terrifying! But usually, what you imagine is worse than the reality. In this case, except for being pale, the baby looked like he was sleeping. He really did!He was so beautiful! I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I told the parents that he was one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen!
      I suggested that I could take a Polaroid photo that they could look at before making the final decision not to see him. But they declined. It is also so important that parents feel that they are heard and their choices are respected. So I didn't feel I could push them any further than I had already done.
      Me and another nurse gave the baby a bath and washed his hair while we talked to him like we would if he was alive. Then we dressed him in white and baby blue, and layed him down in the crib with a stuffed animal in his arm. I so wished the parents would have seen how peaceful he looked! My heart ached for the loss of this precious baby's life and for his grieving parents. Both the other nurse and I broke down at cried at this point.
      I'm a hobby photographer and live close to the hospital. So I decided to go home and get my camera. I took several photos of the baby, both in color and in black and white. I attached the photos to his medical records and told the parents that if they ever changed their mind, they could have them. Many years have passed, and I don't know if they ever requested to see the photos, but I hope so.
      I want to remember every tiny detail about this beautiful baby as long as I live; that he had a lot of dark brown hair, long eyes lashes, perfect features and how it felt to hold him in my arms.

  • @marciajones2993
    @marciajones2993 2 роки тому +6

    So sorry for your loss. Ophelia was beautiful. Can’t imagine the pain you went through on the loss of your beautiful baby girl. There is no footprint too small, that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.❤🌹

  • @bobbyhousley9877
    @bobbyhousley9877 3 роки тому +51

    I know this is difficult. A week ago a granddaughter was 40 weeks pregnant but still showed no signs of delivery or labor. She was so big she couldn't even close her seat belt. She was a passenger in a car. The driver wrecked and our girl and her baby were killed. She was ejected from the vehicle. So, it was 2 losses, and seeing your daughter bury her child and grandchild is horrific know you can't do anything to help. But God is helping us/them..I feel your pain.

    • @karobythell4425
      @karobythell4425 3 роки тому +8

      I am so sorry for both of your losses and also my heart goes out to your daughter too who would have been a Grandmother had this not happened .What a heartbreaking experience for your family to go through .So very sad for your family .Hugs xx

    • @reallyrandomthings615
      @reallyrandomthings615 3 роки тому +5

      What a tragedy...I'm very sorry.

    • @kimpeters8157
      @kimpeters8157 2 роки тому +3

      Sincerest condolences for this painful loss💔

    • @thebackrooms7511
      @thebackrooms7511 2 роки тому +2

      I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family. 😔

    • @grammagi6130
      @grammagi6130 2 роки тому +2

      So sorry for your family such a sad story may God continue to give you strength through this most difficult time just know God needed your granddaughter and great granddaughter back by his/ her side in heaven

  • @kymlouise
    @kymlouise 2 роки тому +32

    I lost my 3 year old son in a freak accident & my heart breaks for families who have lost their little ones😞♥️

  • @MegaCaprice123
    @MegaCaprice123 Рік тому +1

    So sorry for your loss. I can understand your deep grief as many years ago, my cousin was stillborn. He was a beautiful baby weighing over 10lbs but the cord strangled him during birth. This was before the advent of scans. His mother was devastated as were all the family. My Aunt was very brave and went on to have another son who was born healthy.

  • @Sherri419393
    @Sherri419393 3 роки тому +11

    I’ve read every story, twice, and God bless you. Your voices are so soothing, and your hearts are so large and filled with love. I don’t have the proper words to express how wonderful this forum is for parents to go to and share their lives and their pain. Thank you again, God has big wings for you two !! ❤️❤️🙏🙏
    Sherri from Ohio

  • @angelwingstn3392
    @angelwingstn3392 Рік тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. So sorry for your loss. I hope that particular hospital improves with the way they deal with parents who lose their babies. They need to be more compassionate and helpful.

  • @jackiehaas
    @jackiehaas 3 роки тому +8

    I work in healthcare and I feel so bad because that facility completely failed them. I love her name. God Bless.

    • @brilliantbutblue
      @brilliantbutblue 3 роки тому +1

      Me too which is why l am here to learn! My heart breaks that as a Nurse we still get it so wrong and l never want a Patient to feel like Victoria did. 🙏

    • @karlaparker7988
      @karlaparker7988 Рік тому

      May God bless you its a difficult job. Its so very sad that America seems to have a high Maternal death and stillbirth rate, I pray God will work his power on this. And thankyou for helping your patients x

  • @natalietrujillo7455
    @natalietrujillo7455 8 місяців тому +1

    Wailing! yes perfect description! I yet wail! I’m no stranger to losing children. I’ve had miscarriage at 11 weeks, Still born with Trisome 9 and loss of my 38 year old daughter who left 3 children behind “my grandchildren”. Wailing is the perfect description! Painful primal cry! As I mentioned I yet wail today! My babies all at different stages.

  • @NathayliaFieland
    @NathayliaFieland Рік тому +2

    I lost my son on 6January 2022 it was his 2nd birthday yesterday it still feels like it all happened yesterday i God blessed me with another boy he was born on 31January 2023

  • @trishawilkerson83
    @trishawilkerson83 3 роки тому +16

    Rest in the Father's Arms Babygirl ❤️💕

  • @pattidale7968
    @pattidale7968 Рік тому +1

    One of the saddest stories I have ever heard. Wish I could have known you then and let you and Stephen spend all the time with her that you needed and been a comfort in every way possible. Too bad the hospital was not as helpful as they could have been.

  • @coralharvey7957
    @coralharvey7957 2 роки тому +1

    Can't imagine how empty it must be to labour after learning your baby had died. I've had three babies and one prenatal loss but only at eight weeks and that was awful enough. My heart goes out to you both. Ophelia is such a beautiful name. And she is such a beautiful baby . I have a feeling that they will induce you at least two weeks early next time and keep a very vigilant eye on you in your final weeks. Ophelia looks so beautiful and I feel she just reached maturity at an early stage and your placenta gave out in the last few days. I pray your pain will go away. She is safe now. Hugs X

  • @lousullivan5178
    @lousullivan5178 3 роки тому +3

    I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss ❤️

  • @karincampbell9289
    @karincampbell9289 Рік тому +7

    After listening to this podcast, I sense a lot of anger in mom's recollection and in her voice. Her story seems so different from the other stories. I heard a small snippet of mom saying she didn't really feel maternal until close to the end of her pregnancy. Her experience in the hospital (which seemed very negative) and the way she told the story, gave me the impression she was still very angry, and maybe felt guilty? I hope she knows in no way that she was responsible for this tragedy, and knows there are grief support available for those who have lost babies. Her story just seemed so different from some of the others, and my heart ached for her. So many things at the hospital could have been different.
    It might be helpful if she were to meet with hospital administration to share her experience and offer suggestions about how they could implement better resources when moms suffer still births. They can't fix whet they don't know. Other moms might benefit from some education and policy updates when stillbirths occur.

  • @reallyrandomthings615
    @reallyrandomthings615 3 роки тому +3

    She was a beautiful baby. I am very sorry this happened to you guys. I lost a baby at 10 weeks and it took me 4 solid months to go on...you guys are so brave. ((Hugs))

  • @melaniemathews9564
    @melaniemathews9564 3 роки тому +2

    So sorry for your loss of your sweet baby girl I feel your pain I know what that's like It is an unexplainable feeling and unless you went through it you just don't understand completely but Take care and I wish you nothing but the best and I wish Good things to come take care

  • @katluann
    @katluann 7 місяців тому

    I enjoy everyone’s stories. I had an aunt that went full term but lost every other baby. The last baby I was so excited to meet. I was in my teens and we thought the doctors would not let her get in another position where baby died from cord wrapped around its neck but even after they were repeatedly warned that’s exactly what happened! We had friends in high school who their parents had still births so it was traumatizing to me already. I did not lose a baby but I was still traumatized! Not as much as these moms! God love you moms. It’s the worst and I guess on every pregnant woman’s mind. It was mine. My first baby was 9 12oz. The poor doctors. I was dilated to ten and head dropped but I just couldn’t have him even with forcepts. They bruised his eyes a little. My doctors just said we can’t, he’s too big and we think you will always need csections unless baby is very small. Even then your uterus just doesn’t allow head through. I could feel his hair that’s how close he was. We did C-section baby was healthy. After that and he was about two weeks late. After that I had two planned csections and my doctors always said we are going in three weeks early. The reason was stillbirth. Something in those last couple of weeks can happen and it is common.

  • @cheryaltry5346
    @cheryaltry5346 3 роки тому +7

    So sorry for your loss my heart breaks for you both xo

  • @iloveschicken6527
    @iloveschicken6527 10 місяців тому +2

    Precious child of God!

  • @susannevells208
    @susannevells208 3 роки тому +1

    So sorry for your loss of baby

  • @tonipilgrim9984
    @tonipilgrim9984 3 роки тому

    Im so sorry for the loss of your baby

  • @NathayliaFieland
    @NathayliaFieland Рік тому +1

    Loosing a child is thd most traumatized experience i felt like i was dreaming my husband told our gynea he dont accept that i was there for checkup the previous week everything was fine thf doctor said we just waitng on baby Victoria i know you feel😢😢

  • @oliviahart7524
    @oliviahart7524 3 роки тому +5

    The hospital should have given you more info and choices from the start. What you went through was horrific. There should have been someone there to take pictures, and support you. That was precious time you had with her and they should have tried to make it memorable in the best way possible out of a sad situation.
    Know you did nothing wrong. There was nothing to show distress and alert the midwife or a doctor. It was inevitable in the worse way possible. Prayers for you and healing.

  • @raye5071
    @raye5071 Рік тому

    RIP Baby girl Ophelia❤

  • @indigobunting2431
    @indigobunting2431 27 днів тому

    So hard to remember -- I see how you loved Ophelia.

  • @sallyottosen2013
    @sallyottosen2013 Рік тому

    I understand the whale that you had when losing your baby, girl. I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and 5 days. I am sorry for your loss. I know my experience was one.of the hardest thing I had to overcome how much ot hurt.

  • @rachelhamilton553
    @rachelhamilton553 3 роки тому +8

    Your not alone I had a twin that was still born he died when I was six month pregnant so I carried him to have my daughter just a year before I had a son that died five hours old I was 41 weeks he had a diaphragm hernia we didn’t know that or the hospital till I gave birth as he couldn’t take a breath they rushed him away done a X-ray found that he’s bells and intestines was in he’s chest crushed he’s one lung but the other one was to small so because the lack of oxygen at the time sent him brain damage he all ready had one Cardiac arrest we waited four hours to transfer him to another hospital but when they tuck him off the ventilator to put him in there Incubator for travel he had another cardiac arrest and the hospital told use that would be best to let him go we never forget just learn to cope I had back in January 2003 and the twin John in November 2004 at the time I blamed my self that’s why I went on to have another that’s the twins but it dosent replace the one you lose I had two girls before chad lilys as johns twin then had another daughter then ended up a son omg at the time I filled a bit of my heart from the loss of my lads you will in time learn to heal the heart break of what’s happened but us who have lost baby’s rather stillborn or infant only know what it’s like I’m sorry it makes me cry because I’ve been there wish you all the best in the Future

  • @Katwinser1958
    @Katwinser1958 Рік тому

    When I had my son there was a marine there waiting and he told me his wife was giving birth to their baby that had died utero and that broke my heart. I felt so so sad for them.

  • @STYLESBYLIFEBEAUTYNMORE
    @STYLESBYLIFEBEAUTYNMORE 2 роки тому +2

    The full body shock this beautiful women has been thru
    Destroys me
    So profound

  • @gaylefernley4932
    @gaylefernley4932 Рік тому +1

    So sad that in this day and age a maternity unit would be so ill equiped for this situation. A family should get as much time as they want with their child.

  • @mmay6621
    @mmay6621 Рік тому +4

    Why wouldn’t your midwife go with you to the hospital?

  • @Katwinser1958
    @Katwinser1958 Рік тому

    Was the cord around her neck at birth?

  • @marywallace9085
    @marywallace9085 2 роки тому +4

    My daughter lost her 2 baby girls one was 39 weeks and the other was 25 weeks it's so heartbreaking

    • @laurasinfield2431
      @laurasinfield2431 2 роки тому

      oh my gosh, that truly is unreal to read..I only hope that the passing of time will ease your pain

    • @Miloana1321
      @Miloana1321 2 роки тому

      Oh no ☹️ dis they find a reason? I lost my babygirl at 39 weeks also.. 😢

  • @juliebowers550
    @juliebowers550 3 роки тому +2

    That's soo sad weren't treated so poorly!! Soo 😞 sorry!! I helped at a hospital with. Infant loose they gave each a memory box with hand foot prints hat blanket wrist band photos all for free!!

  • @nancybeingnancy3081
    @nancybeingnancy3081 9 місяців тому +2

    THAT was … hard to sit through

    • @erin.v.m657
      @erin.v.m657 6 місяців тому +1

      Imagine going through it. But you can't. And anyone who has wouldn't wish it on anyone ever. It is the absolute worst life has to offer.

  • @jeannieves6275
    @jeannieves6275 3 роки тому +3

    🙏🏽

  • @karenwilliams3571
    @karenwilliams3571 2 роки тому

    🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @annaclaire9927
    @annaclaire9927 3 роки тому

    So very sorry

  • @doriswalsh3929
    @doriswalsh3929 3 роки тому +1

    Hi 🥰 so sorry 😔 prayers 💪 I'm Doris I just saw this video 📸. I was a premie I was 1.9 and my twin 1.10. I'm a fraternal twin with a sister . Just letting u know if your comfortable when u are ready to read there is a scripture in the bible in revelation 21: 3.4

  • @nicky25294
    @nicky25294 3 роки тому +2

    ❤️🌈🙏🏻

  • @lorenarivas5485
    @lorenarivas5485 3 роки тому +2

    RIP

    • @efraindarlenecastro595
      @efraindarlenecastro595 3 роки тому

      So 😞 sorry I do understand and feel bad about all this 😕 my baby was stillborn at 5 months they did not know why I was still in hospital was not allowed to go to funeral had no pictures of my little mellisa just a picture of casket why they treated me like this long sad story short 😢 💔 l know I will see her in heaven that's what keeps me going its hard even after all these years but she is in GODS ARMS AND I WILL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO HER SOME DAY I will see and touch her 💔 BUT HOSPITAL DID NEGLECT ME I will 🙏 for you and others let God heal you.!!!!!

  • @maesaavedra2220
    @maesaavedra2220 2 роки тому +1

    My baby was stillborn also at 39 weeks and 4 days 😭😭😭

    • @maesaavedra2220
      @maesaavedra2220 2 роки тому +1

      I'm from the Philippines, how can I join your podcast. I want to share my story. 💛

    • @standup2982
      @standup2982 Рік тому

      @@maesaavedra2220 I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby.