"The first sandwich you can hold in one hand" is such a great line, because it tells you, in one short sentence, that Michael Eisner had a fully-staffed test kitchen, a massive marketing team, and a theme park full of employees, and not a single one of them was willing to break it to him that actually, you can just cut a sandwich in half.
i feel like that's a pretty normal order tbh. people with celiac disease often order burgers & sandwiches without the bun because most fast food places dont offer gluten-free options
This madman actually goes through the process of studying and recreating Disney's single-hand sandwich, then immediately uses two hands to bite into it
its always like unmasking a scooby doo villain and I just always imagine him turning to the camera and saying "I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for this bad economy and ignorance of market demands!"
The thing about the Handwich is that it's not immediately a bad idea. If I saw one being offered, I'd definitely try it. But the Handwich is something that's all about the details. How thick is the bread? How viscous are the fillings? It's something that could definitely "work" as a sort of novelty.
I think the real issue with the handwich is that they tried so heavily to market it as a remarkable and mindblowing "sandwich of the future" which doesn't really shore up to the disappointment you get when you bite into what tastes like a normal and generic chicken/tuna salad wrap in the shape of a cone. If they offered this without all of the disney brand TM patenting and fanfare then I'm sure they would still be selling it to this day. It seems pretty convenient and I can imagine it would taste awesome with a brioche or puff pastry cone with some barbecue chicken, lettuce and onions, or even dessert styled crepe fillings. Just don't try to make it sound like something it's not.
Rather than strangely aggressive, I would say it sounds aggressively strange... like something an alien trying to pass itself off as human would think of.
"It is called one thousand nine hundred eighty-four" is perhaps my favorite line on all this channel, and that's saying quite a lot. The gag is pretty Handwich-relevant, it must be said.
Michael Eisner: what if we like,, invented a hot pocket but like broken Imagineers: what’s a hot pocket? Michael Eisner: *unhinged stare* Imagineers: say no more sir
I think that Defunctland started off with every intention of being a serious documentary series on defunct amusement park properties, but has only become more unhinged as time goes on
The surreal aspect of this episode is definitely unprecedented for this show, but definitely not unexpected. Kevin has always used some form of humor, especially deadpan, to some degree since the beginning. He’s truly cranked it up to 11 though in the more recent episodes.
Someone should go back in time and tell Eisner that. Aside from too-out-there ingredients, he was let down by the dumbest marketers on Disney's payroll (and considering everything ELSE, that's _really_ saying something).
Hmm I don't know. Like, out of context I expect "Castle Cone" to be some kind of elaborate ice cream cone, and any time something sounds like it's ice cream but isn't ice cream, my disappointment is immeasurable.
This man has so much creative energy he had to make every section for the 3 handwiches different. He even mimics the performance style of the different flavors of cooking show perfectly. I actually wanted to punch him a few times during the second section, it mimics annoying modern cooking shows perfectly. I can't believe I slept on this video for so long, this guy is talented in literally everything he does for his content.
We don't deserve Kevin Perjurer, but God saw fit to bless us with him anyway 😂 He's the only creator who can get me to not only watch feature length documentaries but rewatch them too. I won't lie that I miss his more frequent lower-key videos like this one but at least the stuff he is putting out is top notch.
defunctland videos: you’ll never guess who was responsible for this insane, batshit bizarre thing at Disney that got made in the late 80’s to early 90’s and everyone hated Me, leaning forward: was it Michael eisner Defunctland video: it was Michael eisner Me, hooting and hollering: HOLY SHIT
@@Nonyah123 hey man thank you for lending me your batmobile, the operation was successful. My daughter is 9 pounds 2 oz. can't wait to see you at the pool party this Saturday!
@@Nonyah123 omg thank you for saving my family and I from a massive house fire and not to mention you gave us a new mansion with a butler thank you so much 🙏
“HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE THING! I DIDNT THINK THEY’D DO IT BUT THOSE MICKEY EARED FREAKS DONE DID THE THING! GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY! MICHAEL DING DONG EISNER DID IT AGAIN!” *slowly begins to sob as fireworks burst intermittently catching a sparkle on a wet cheek as the star spangled banner plays in the background*
the sandwich was literally made to be eaten with one hand, it was created as something that could be eaten while playing cards, and somehow that makes this entire thing even funnier
@@carlbirtles4518 The 8th Duke of Beaufort, who lived at Badminton House, invented badminton in the mid 19th century (initially as a variant of tennis which used a shuttlecock, which had been introduced to England from India a few years previously), in order to avoid damaging paintings and other valuables when playing tennis indoors.
Would just like to mention that the Cozy Cone still sells unofficial handwiches to this day ! It’s been my go to quick lunch every time I’ve gone this year haha :)
That was legitimately poetic. Replace sandwich with something a bit more abstract, and you, too, can impress the hipster kids in your hometown. Or, keep it as sandwich, but be careful. You don't wanna come across as too good.
Fun fact if you take a shot every time you hear the word ‘handwich’ by 10 mins in you’ll be drunk enough to attempt making your own handwich at 4am by yourself. Also do not do this.
I love how this devolves from proper baking with risen dough and slow cooked barbeque chicken, to stuffing a bunch of Arby's into a disemboweled piece of french bread. Masterful.
Me too. I suppose because Eisner's time as CEO seems recent, but he left 15 years ago and was there for a long time. He started as CEO of Disney only 16 years after that world's fair and would have been in his early 40s as an executive. That means he was not just alive during the fair but in his mid 20s.
Kinda unrelated , but there’s this clip floating around UA-cam of this 1950’s game show where they brought on the last surviving witness to Lincoln’s assassination. He was 96 at the time of his appearance, and he was 5 on the day Lincoln died. That one really broke me
The production value on this was insane. The deep cut jokes about oldschool cooking shows, the time travel framing that was just vague enough to almost make sense, the editing. The 1984 joke. The editing. The slapshod final handwich. The EDITING. What a dense text. What a strange piece of art. This belongs in a museum.
Imagine if this had been the last video on the channel and Kevin just left us with the implication that he'd been lost somewhere in the time space continuum.
"The only *_SANDWICH_* you can hold in one hand." The fact that they made this their marketing slogan tells me that the executives who came up with it haven't eaten the sandwich in quite some time. I would have said "never eaten a sandwich", but the ubiquity of the sandwich makes me think there's only so far I can strain credulity.
The marketing team in general just seems awful. The initial concept of the castle cone sounded really good, then they changed it to a giant tuna salad icecream cone called the HANDWICH
I made a spaghettio handwich once. Whole can of spaghettios right in that french bread. My roommates say I can't cook and here I was inventing the food of the future.
The most impressive part of this production for me was that he was willing, in public, to ask an Arby's employee for three BREADLESS sandwiches. I can't imagine hearing "so you want the meat and cheese... in a bowl?" and not immediately apologizing for what I've done and leaving.
You ever work in the food service industry, you know that's not even that weird. To be honest, if that were me working, it'd make my day because at least it's not a 30 ingredient drink with 20 shots of stuff. I would thank him for a funny, but not insane order.
It's common for people on low-carb high-protein diets to order burgers sans buns. One of the local places where I live will dice up the patty and serve it on a salad for you instead. It's weird, but it has its place.
My daughter went to DCA recently on a school trip. While making her plans, she discovered one of DCA's snack locations (Cozy Cone Motel 3) is currently serving three varieties of Handwich. She took a group of her friends and tried the lot. Says it was the highlight of her whole trip.
I love that the store section is literally just him recording himself walking into a store, buying a loaf of bread, struggling at the self checkout like everyone else, then just walking out but the voice over made it so intense
"The first sandwich you can hold with one hand. " Never mind that one of the origin stories of the sandwich is that was made by a servant when the Earl of sandwich wanted something to eat with one hand without putting down his cards.
I heard that story he wanted something that he could eat with his gloved hands (plural) at the card table (instead of exposing his soft, fleshy hands).
I suspect the issue was that, unlike British sandwiches or the sort of things kids get in their lunch box both sides of the Atlantic, which tend to be fairly simple affairs specifically designed to be made quickly, transported easily, and eaten on the go and/or one-handed, US deli-style sandwiches tend to go for hugely overloading the fillings, using more fillings than the bread can contain and/or using ones that make a mess. As such the handwich was sort of an attempt, via the extremely dodgy application of first-principle reverse engineering, to create the solution for a problem that never needed to exist outside of a deli in the first place.
I like how this tutorial started with a thorough step by step process of making your own dough and slow cooked chicken, and ended with him assaulting a baguette and stuffing it with Arby's meat.
In defense of the Handwich name, I like its “one letter off from Sandwich” thing, and compared to “Castle Cones”, it seems more overt with its whole sandwich deal, while with the latter, some might’ve instinctively (and incorrectly) picture it as an *ice cream* cone
Honestly a side series where Kevin tries to recreate old theme park food & drink would be kinda fun to see, especially if he shared the recipes. Like Mythical Kitchen’s Past Food series, but with 100% more jabs at Michael Eisner.
"she will never be able to achieve the dreams you projected onto her" is the most accurate thing I've ever heard said about parents. "please stop clapping, it freaks me out when I'm using a knife" "egg. Doesn't matter how you slice it, it'll still taste terrible" god these are some of the best quotes ever
Honestly, the 'Handwich' would have been a tasty, fun treat for Disney had they not marketed it as a "revolutionary, sandwich of the future" that promised to be more than it actually was. That being: just a weirdly-shaped sandwich.
Yeah, I think I agree. While it's hardly a revolutionary idea, it's not exactly a terrible idea. It's "a sort of weirdly-shaped sandwich", so it's kind of odd that it was an outright failure. I could see a food cart selling them and being somewhat successful.
If you're eating from the top, I could see these being actually kind of nice. With just one hand, it seems like a nice way to keep all the filling *in* the sandwich
The problem for me is that the cone-shape makes the filling unevenly distributed: you'll start with only eating salad and end with only eating bread. But you can probably alleviate that problem with different cone-shapes or different layers of filling. I agree that it could be a minor hit as a fun novelty food, without all that "future of food" nonsense
I had to rewatch the intro because I thought for sure he had promised me a mushu-shrimp mixed berry nightmare combo, but it was actually two handwiches in a list of failed handwiches. It says a lot about what this channel has taught me about disney that i fully believed in the shrimp berry sandwich.
I am just so relieved that I am not the only person who thinks about that book whenever I put paper in the oven or have paper near any sort of heat or flame at all. Thank you Defunctland, I feel human again.
I came to watch about how the handwich failed. But I ended up getting an epic cinematic journey on how to make them in many different ways. Did not expect this at all!
17:28 The parody of kitchen shows was already funny. The mixing part was already hilarious. But Kevin going “whoooooaaaa” with the cheesy background song is what made it for me.
@@commandrogyne I think it's an important distinction that a calzone is topologically closed and the handwich is not. However, we would have accepted the objection "this is a New York fold"
Lmao I worked at an insanely busy steakhouse that claimed to make their own BBQ sauce. It was literally just heating up Open pit and mixing it with liquid smoke 😂
Hot sauce at a pizza place I worked at was just Frank's red hot with pepper, crushed red pepper, garlic, and an herb that might have been oregano but I don't remember clearly. Really improved it though.
That reminds me of a story, in second grade me and a few kids somehow got interested in making peanut butter. We all went home made the best peanut butter we could, bring it to school to determine a winner. This guy wins and I’m talking to him asking how he made it. And he’s like “oh yeah it’s mostly jif” like goddamnit man that doesn’t count lol
I love this energy. The history of your burn marks, the child arsonist, the “hiyah”. It just all is so silly and delightful. I do wonder if the fun 2005 baking show outfit was something from your own closet.
@ 6:38 - the subtitles should be (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah) PLEASE shorten your videos, this would be good; condensed to 5 minutes. Stick to the facts! I want to watch a documentary, not listen to rambling. Unsubscribed
“Surrealist cooking show about old theme park food” was not something I was expecting to see today, or ever, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy thoroughly it
I mean there are savory crepes, I haven't eaten a authentic crepe but I'd recon the texture would be different because the bread part of handwiches are actual bread, in that case burritos and anything wrapped in tortilla really is a handwich then
i love that this video could’ve just been about how they created an okay product but the marketing didn’t really you can hold and eat almost any other kind of sandwich in one hand, but instead it was funny and chaotic and “she’s a bit of an arsonist” absolutely killed me
The handwich actually sounds really convenient for things like pulled pork or chicken. Things that are typically really drippy or might slide out. I can't eat gluten though, so a bowl it is for me.
There's really good gluten free mixes that allow you to bake pretty much anything! If they're available (and not too pricy) in the US, look for Schar's Bread Mix Flour (I think it's mix B - mix A being all-purpose and mix C being for cakes/sweet stuff that don't need to rise). I've had to eat gluten free since I was a kid and they've really improved *so much* these last 20 or so years! :D and the website has basic recipes for pretty much anything. I can confirm white bread takes like 2 hours to make and ends up d e l i c i o u s for GF standards. Good luck! ^^
Well with a normal sandwich the ability to hold it one handed depends on many variables like the size of the hand and the portion, the ingredients and their amount, how it's cut and whatnot. But handwich kind of ensures that _everyone_ can hold it in one hand no matter what.
Honestly, this is one of the best videos you've made --> the script, the editing, the cinematography, the costumes. You didn't have to go as far as you did, but you did, and that's why I appreciate this channel
This is like when the one kid in your group project keeps insisting on using their really stupid idea because they're convinced it will improve the project tenfold, only here that kid is an executive for one of, if not the largest entertainment conglomerates on the planet
What I love about Defunctland is that you may click a notification and get a movie-length rock opera documentary, or you may get...the Handwich. Bring it on.
I like the establishment of three Kevins: 1970s-1980s Public Access Kevin: who scratch-makes his delectable morsels as his voice laps at your inner ear like warm honey, 2000s Daytime TV Kevin: a student of Sandra Lee's "semi-homemade" method, and 2020s Cocaine Kevin: a somewhat distressed man pleading with a service industry worker at 1 AM to fill three bowls of Arby's Beef and Cheddar filling as the voice of Michael Eisner tries to convince him every idea he ever had was a good one.
Dude, this video is a masterpiece. You did such a good job emulating a mid-aughts cooking-show-within-another-show-that-has-a-live-audience. Even the announcer voice sounded spot on, with that high energy, excited tone of voice popularized by MTV back then. And the handwhich at the end that's basically a sub sandwich with arby's meat 🤣 I laughed, I cried, and at the end I called my mother to tell her I love her. Chef's kiss, my friend!
@ 6:38 - the subtitles should be (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah) PLEASE shorten your videos, this would be good; condensed to 5 minutes. Stick to the facts! I want to watch a documentary, not listen to rambling. Unsubscribed
In Hollywood Studios at Fairfax Fare they now sell “mashed potato waffle bowls” with buff chix, korean bbq, or beef brisket. During the training the language used around the condensed, fully edible food being “cutting edge” was very similar. They’re definitely recycling the idea.
“Wherever it was, it was billed as Disney’s newest attraction, implying you can ride the Handwich. When in reality, the Handwich rides you.” You can’t drop lines like this and stay serious lmfao
@ 6:38 - the subtitles should be (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah) PLEASE shorten your videos, this would be good; condensed to 5 minutes. Stick to the facts! I want to watch a documentary, not listen to rambling. Unsubscribed
alternate names for the handwich that could have helped it take off: -conewich -flavor triangle -the statue of liberty's torch, but delicious -the forbidden party hat -eisner's scourge upon humanity
I'm going to be honest here, I actually kind of respect Michael Eisner's willingness to try stupid stuff. The dude's like "Sandwich cones! Why not!? Throw it at the wall and see if it sticks!"
This is so much better than the modern CEOs of Disney as they are too fearful of losing money now to do that. Michael Eisner in my opinion isn’t anywhere close as evil as the current CEO. At least Eisner was ambitious and tried to push boundaries! If he wanted a Disney cruise line, he built it himself and didn’t just buy Carnival.
@crassgop I know a guy who used to be a server at Applebee's and now he's a wealth planner who makes like 1-2 million bucks a year. Doesn't have a college degree. And you know what? He's fantastic at his job. We all started somewhere. Nothing wrong with climbing the ladder from the bottom rung.
@@mercster certain subsets of culture are evolving past language. Most people don't even have a firm enough grasp on regular English, let alone whatever we would like to call "meme culture" so they use it as a replacement mainly for informal situations
The fact that you mimicked the style of cooking shows from different decades, from the julia childs style "and mix" all the way up to the studio audience over produced style of the mid 2000s, and closing out with the meme style cooking of the modern era is amazing. This is such a beautiful intricate mix of styles. So impressive man.
Ironic because the legend of the invention of the sandwich was like that to begin with. Supposedly John Montague, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, had a gambling habit and he wanted something he could eat with one hand to keep his cards in the other hand. So he ordered his cooks to make something along those lines and then later his friends started ordering "the same thing as Sandwich"
I love how chaotic that "Defunct Kitchen" segment was. Like, you're daughter is an arsonist, and to try to get her principal to not expel her, you're gonna make a handwich? Fantastic. Perfect solution. 😃
Warning: I misspoke. It’s 7 grams of yeast, not ounces, but hey it’s up to you.
Ok
It's gonna explode if you put 8 ounces of yeast
I mean you are after all the Lilo & Stitch of your handwich
DefunctPan would be neat-ass series, recreating long-gone food products. Someone needs to show that Babish guy up at his game!
198.4 grams of yeast yum
“it was michael eisner.” HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS
Spoilers, He Didn't.
@@mimkyodar yeah his net worth is only 1 billion jokes on him
YOU POISONED BROCK
PLEASE as soon as he said “you’ll never guess who was behind it” I was like oh my god here we go
He is the human definition of “Goddamnit old man, not again!”
“And you’ll never guess who was responsible for its creation.”
NO! NOT AGAIN! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!
“It was Michael Eisner.”
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
All roads lead to Eisner.
He is the genesis of the Odd in this world.
I swear Eisner was doing a "Worst Ideas Speedrun: CEO edition" during his time at Disney
"It was Eisner all along..."
[gasp] we finally know where they got the inspiration for that song!
@@merrittanimation7721 NOOOOOOOOooooo!!! NO!
"The first sandwich you can hold in one hand" is such a great line, because it tells you, in one short sentence, that Michael Eisner had a fully-staffed test kitchen, a massive marketing team, and a theme park full of employees, and not a single one of them was willing to break it to him that actually, you can just cut a sandwich in half.
Rolling on the floor laughing
Eisner: you can... cut sandwhiches? Why didn't I know about this!?
He would have fired the person who told that to him on the spot for hurting his fragile ego.
But it wouldn’t be a whole sandwich.
@@digimonlover1632 Hold two halves, in one hand.
"I guess everyone was right when they called you Two Handwich Kevin" is so unhinged
That was my favourite, tied with the 1984 joke.
"Implying that you can RIDE the Handwich. In reality, the Handwich rides YOU."
This slogan could have saved the whole damn Handwich
“You’ve ridden Space Mountain. Now experience the only thing in Disney that rides you.”
@@SomeOne-ym4xg I appreciate how it's both vaguely sexy, and vaguely threatening.
They could have even gotten Yakov Smirnoff to promote it!
"Say the line, Kevin!"
"It was Michael Eisner."
"YAAAAAY!"
"Top o the morning to ya!"
"Oldest anarchy server in Minecraft"
"it was Michael Eisner"
Woozle-Wozzle?
"...when in reality, the Handwich rides you" needs to be put on merch
Please stop giving me mean comments. My mother reads the comments I get and she cries a lot because of it. Please be nice, dear rose
@@AxxLAfriku what are you talking about?
Only in Soviet Russia.
@@altoid2097 Spammer, ignore him
Disney would turn his ass inside out if he did that.
it warms my heart to know that the order placed in this video is probably NOT the strangest order the arby’s worker took that day
And this is supposed to be an Arby's in _Limbo!_
I worked at ARby's before and its common for people to order beef and cheddars or roast beef sandwiches without the buns
i feel like that's a pretty normal order tbh. people with celiac disease often order burgers & sandwiches without the bun because most fast food places dont offer gluten-free options
This madman actually goes through the process of studying and recreating Disney's single-hand sandwich, then immediately uses two hands to bite into it
Just because you CAN eat it with one hand doesn't mean it's the best option
I was just thinking this when I read this comment.
Pure instinct is all that is
@@cyber_xiii3786 "Your cooks was so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't think of whether they should."
SHEAR HERESY!
Catch me fucking crying because Kevin Perjurer the Defuncland guy made me a handwich and that's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.
Went full Mr. Rogers for that one...
Honestly when he said “one for me, one for you” I felt that
we don’t deserve him 🥺🥺
Right in the feels, and right in my desire to have a BBQ Chicken Handwich
when he said “and one for you” I got very emotional I must admit
I literally burst out laughing. The reveal that Michael Eisner is always the culprit will never NOT be funny.
its always like unmasking a scooby doo villain and I just always imagine him turning to the camera and saying "I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for this bad economy and ignorance of market demands!"
@@jaidasimone_”…again!”
The frames of him stroking his purebred mini snow cat is the epitome of his villainry at 4:08
Hey, spoiler!
That cat did not wanna be there lol.
The thing about the Handwich is that it's not immediately a bad idea. If I saw one being offered, I'd definitely try it. But the Handwich is something that's all about the details. How thick is the bread? How viscous are the fillings? It's something that could definitely "work" as a sort of novelty.
I think the real issue with the handwich is that they tried so heavily to market it as a remarkable and mindblowing "sandwich of the future" which doesn't really shore up to the disappointment you get when you bite into what tastes like a normal and generic chicken/tuna salad wrap in the shape of a cone.
If they offered this without all of the disney brand TM patenting and fanfare then I'm sure they would still be selling it to this day. It seems pretty convenient and I can imagine it would taste awesome with a brioche or puff pastry cone with some barbecue chicken, lettuce and onions, or even dessert styled crepe fillings. Just don't try to make it sound like something it's not.
Okay, the cone thing is cute, but I want something crusty. Tastier and more structurally sound
It's like a big Japanese hand roll except instead of filled with rice it's filled with wet stuff that would likely leak.
@@lyndonwesthaven6623i think of they were made of puff pastry they would be delicious
@@carso1500 I'm also here for the cone croissanwich
"She's a sweetheart but a bit of an arsonist" is something I would only expect to hear on this channel and yet it still caught me off guard
Gonna use this line as a song lyric
Is my daughter Wednesday Addams
it reminded me of klee from genshin impact lol
@@immortaluglyfish2724 Now, to find a rhyme for "arsonist"...
@@chompythebeast botanist, something with "pissed" and uhhhhh... lemon twist?
I genuinely believe if they had just kept the name "Castle Cone" it would still be around.
Handwich sounds strangely aggressive.
The name definitely sounded cheesy and unappetizing, I agree with Castle Cone being more viable!
I was going to say the same thing, “handwich” is the least magical word I could possibly think of.
I mean, Pokémon nailed it with the _Casteliacone,_ so we know for a fact that it could work...
Let me get a roast beef knuckle sandwich
Rather than strangely aggressive, I would say it sounds aggressively strange... like something an alien trying to pass itself off as human would think of.
I love how Eisner can't catch a break even when it's just a fucking sandwich.
or the other way - that eisner couldn't succeed - even with sandwiches!
I love that only about 40% of this video is about the Handwich and the remainder is an incredibly well-produced and drawn-out gag
Well, and a Handwich cooking tutorial.
"It is called one thousand nine hundred eighty-four" is perhaps my favorite line on all this channel, and that's saying quite a lot.
The gag is pretty Handwich-relevant, it must be said.
"There's a book named after the ignition point of paper, 1984"
That is one of the best jokes I've ever heard.
I had to double back just to be sure I caught that correctly. A perfect low-key Kevin joke.
hang on let me google something real quick
yeah this is funny
Someone help me out here. Is there something deeper than the swap of 1984 and Fahrenheit 451?
As someone studying English Lit at A Level, it still took me a couple of seconds to properly wrap my head around it, but when I did it was brilliant
@@TroyPacelli nope, that's the joke, hahaha.
"I'm making two handwhiches. One for me... And one for you." is truely one of the most tender things I've heard. On par with "I want us to eat well."
*Tenderrrr.*
- TJ Detweiler
Not gonna lie, I teared up a little when he said that
"let's say you have a daughter, aaaand she's... a bit of an arsonist" completely killed me
"and she will never be able to achieve the dreams you projected onto her"
Ifrit Arknights moment
klee genshin moment
just like the victims of the arson
I mean, let's be honest, who doesn't enjoy a good spot of nice refreshing arson? ;)
“let’s try to keep it at a mezzo forte, kevin’s got a headache” is undoubtedly the funniest thing i’ve ever seen on this channel
Michael Eisner: what if we like,, invented a hot pocket but like broken
Imagineers: what’s a hot pocket?
Michael Eisner: *unhinged stare*
Imagineers: say no more sir
I think that Defunctland started off with every intention of being a serious documentary series on defunct amusement park properties, but has only become more unhinged as time goes on
As all things should be.
I think we can etch that down as a fact
I’m not mad about it.
The surreal aspect of this episode is definitely unprecedented for this show, but definitely not unexpected. Kevin has always used some form of humor, especially deadpan, to some degree since the beginning. He’s truly cranked it up to 11 though in the more recent episodes.
Now I understand why we always called him "Two Handwich Kevin"
I feel like "Castle Cone" sounds so much better and still fits Disney's overall theme
Someone should go back in time and tell Eisner that. Aside from too-out-there ingredients, he was let down by the dumbest marketers on Disney's payroll (and considering everything ELSE, that's _really_ saying something).
I agree
The castle cone legit sounded good.
The handwich sounds like an SNL/MADTv skit...
I totally agree with that statement dude!
Hmm I don't know. Like, out of context I expect "Castle Cone" to be some kind of elaborate ice cream cone, and any time something sounds like it's ice cream but isn't ice cream, my disappointment is immeasurable.
This man has so much creative energy he had to make every section for the 3 handwiches different. He even mimics the performance style of the different flavors of cooking show perfectly. I actually wanted to punch him a few times during the second section, it mimics annoying modern cooking shows perfectly. I can't believe I slept on this video for so long, this guy is talented in literally everything he does for his content.
We don't deserve Kevin Perjurer, but God saw fit to bless us with him anyway 😂 He's the only creator who can get me to not only watch feature length documentaries but rewatch them too. I won't lie that I miss his more frequent lower-key videos like this one but at least the stuff he is putting out is top notch.
The A e s t h e t i c in this video was AMAZING
I am losing my mind over the amount of production value he crammed into under half an hour
this is the video which made me go from watching defunctland for the content to watching it for kevin (and dreaming of him, too)
“Implying that you could ride the handwich” was the line that absolutely sent me
You can ride anything if you try hard enough. 😼
I would have gone with, "if you bought one, you got taken for a ride."
my life has forever changed with this revelation
dang RT you also watch this channel that's cool
Damn bestie ya watch defunctland?? Pog
Hi rt
YES I AGREE
It's always lovely to see when you tubers i like watch other youtubers I like
"Alright, let's try to keep it at a mezzo forte, Kevin's got a headache." As a theatre music director, I am so using this in my next rehearsal.
I love that Kevin _deliberately_ eats each Handwich with two hands just to thumb his nose at the tagline. XD
"...And you'll never guess who was responsible for it's creation"
Me: Michael Eisn-
"Michael Eisner..."
Me: SON OF A MOUSE
Michael Eisner has become the Kamen Rider Decade of the Disney History Canon
When in doubt, it's Eisner's fault
My husband thought I was some sort of wizard for shouting out that answer.
…clearly he hasn’t seen enough Defunctland yet
@@logicaltips4107 ONORE EISNER
🤣
@@kamenriderbizzare4726
"Who are you?"
"Just a retiring CEO of Disney. Remember that! Henshin!"
defunctland videos: you’ll never guess who was responsible for this insane, batshit bizarre thing at Disney that got made in the late 80’s to early 90’s and everyone hated
Me, leaning forward: was it Michael eisner
Defunctland video: it was Michael eisner
Me, hooting and hollering: HOLY SHIT
ur funny lets get married
@@Nonyah123 hey thanks for performing that lifesaving surgery on my puppy and paying me $50,000,000 dollars, real kind of you
@@Nonyah123 hey man thank you for lending me your batmobile, the operation was successful. My daughter is 9 pounds 2 oz. can't wait to see you at the pool party this Saturday!
@@Nonyah123 omg thank you for saving my family and I from a massive house fire and not to mention you gave us a new mansion with a butler thank you so much 🙏
“HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE THING! I DIDNT THINK THEY’D DO IT BUT THOSE MICKEY EARED FREAKS DONE DID THE THING! GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY! MICHAEL DING DONG EISNER DID IT AGAIN!”
*slowly begins to sob as fireworks burst intermittently catching a sparkle on a wet cheek as the star spangled banner plays in the background*
the sandwich was literally made to be eaten with one hand, it was created as something that could be eaten while playing cards, and somehow that makes this entire thing even funnier
Eisner was consistently funny while trying his very best to be as serious as possible. Such a dork.
John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich invented the sandwich for that very reason.
@@carlbirtles4518 The 8th Duke of Beaufort, who lived at Badminton House, invented badminton in the mid 19th century (initially as a variant of tennis which used a shuttlecock, which had been introduced to England from India a few years previously), in order to avoid damaging paintings and other valuables when playing tennis indoors.
@@nathangamble125 this is so cool, thanks for sharing
That's not true !
Would just like to mention that the Cozy Cone still sells unofficial handwiches to this day ! It’s been my go to quick lunch every time I’ve gone this year haha :)
Pray Disney never notices
Cozy Cone is in cars land in Disneys California Adventure. They recycled the concept 😊
I went to Disney World in August and didn't know about this. Otherwise I would have tried it.
"The sandwich of the future of the past is of the present once again."
This is a brilliant and beautiful sentence.
I must agree
100%!!!
That was legitimately poetic. Replace sandwich with something a bit more abstract, and you, too, can impress the hipster kids in your hometown.
Or, keep it as sandwich, but be careful. You don't wanna come across as too good.
eyoo twewy icon
"It was Michael Eisner"
HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON OLD MAN?
I love the young people.
@@TheAnubis57 and the movie splash, to I would say, unhealthy degree 🤣
I came in expecting a “Binging With Babish” kind of style show with Kevin’s expected spin on it; and yet I’m still blown away at the creativity.
It's like if Binging With Babish met WandaVision
You were expecting Bimbish and I was hoping for a Handwich "Will it Blow?"
Seriously, tho, I could watch hands on a screen make food all day long.
Amusement park-themed collaboration when
@@foxyfoxington2651 And 3...2...1.
Let's sausageee~!
@@foxyfoxington2651 how many Mark Ruffalos would a handwich be
Fun fact if you take a shot every time you hear the word ‘handwich’ by 10 mins in you’ll be drunk enough to attempt making your own handwich at 4am by yourself.
Also do not do this.
I love how this devolves from proper baking with risen dough and slow cooked barbeque chicken, to stuffing a bunch of Arby's into a disemboweled piece of french bread. Masterful.
That's my thoughts on point
Reminds me a bit of OATS: Cooking with Bill
Being told that Michael Eisener was at the New York World's Fair and was alive and at the same place as Walt Disney has *SHATTERED* my sense of time
Me too. I suppose because Eisner's time as CEO seems recent, but he left 15 years ago and was there for a long time. He started as CEO of Disney only 16 years after that world's fair and would have been in his early 40s as an executive. That means he was not just alive during the fair but in his mid 20s.
@@sswpp8908 wait what!? I assumed he was in his 30s when he was CEO & had to be a kid then (around 10)! This is absolutely mind blowing to me
@@sswpp8908 Is Eisner even still alive? I imagine that, if he is, he's getting up in age?
Kinda unrelated , but there’s this clip floating around UA-cam of this 1950’s game show where they brought on the last surviving witness to Lincoln’s assassination. He was 96 at the time of his appearance, and he was 5 on the day Lincoln died. That one really broke me
@@Kaltagstar96 He'll be 80 next year according to Wikipedia.
The production value on this was insane. The deep cut jokes about oldschool cooking shows, the time travel framing that was just vague enough to almost make sense, the editing. The 1984 joke. The editing. The slapshod final handwich. The EDITING.
What a dense text. What a strange piece of art. This belongs in a museum.
Don’t forget probably the most natural and in-character sponsor segue I’ve ever seen in a UA-cam video!
'86 on the timer at the start had me giggling. The humour in this is top tier
it was truly beautiful
Ikr
Not to mention the entire thing was filmed like a Binging with Babish video
Imagine if this had been the last video on the channel and Kevin just left us with the implication that he'd been lost somewhere in the time space continuum.
"The only *_SANDWICH_* you can hold in one hand." The fact that they made this their marketing slogan tells me that the executives who came up with it haven't eaten the sandwich in quite some time. I would have said "never eaten a sandwich", but the ubiquity of the sandwich makes me think there's only so far I can strain credulity.
The marketing team in general just seems awful. The initial concept of the castle cone sounded really good, then they changed it to a giant tuna salad icecream cone called the HANDWICH
@@aarOuOn Yeah. Nobody was thinking this one through.
You can hold a regular sandwich in one hand
@@Twinklethefox9022 I know, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, " I eat sandwiches with one hand most of the time."
i can hold pretty much any sandwich in one hand. feel free to challenge me on that, anyone.
I made a spaghettio handwich once. Whole can of spaghettios right in that french bread. My roommates say I can't cook and here I was inventing the food of the future.
I'm known among my friends as a heathen who occasionally stuffs instant ramen into french bread... Who's laughing now?
@@madmouseille what
@@madmouseille Heathen? More like genius!
My sister used to make spaghetti burritos for us.
Holy shit that sounds good
The most impressive part of this production for me was that he was willing, in public, to ask an Arby's employee for three BREADLESS sandwiches. I can't imagine hearing "so you want the meat and cheese... in a bowl?" and not immediately apologizing for what I've done and leaving.
You ever work in the food service industry, you know that's not even that weird. To be honest, if that were me working, it'd make my day because at least it's not a 30 ingredient drink with 20 shots of stuff. I would thank him for a funny, but not insane order.
It's common for people on low-carb high-protein diets to order burgers sans buns. One of the local places where I live will dice up the patty and serve it on a salad for you instead. It's weird, but it has its place.
I can't imagine going to Arby's for food at all, but whatever.
If you've ever ordered anchovies on pizza, you've committed an unfathomably greater sin.
I once had someone ask for a sandwich with no filling, just the bread and toppings.
My daughter went to DCA recently on a school trip. While making her plans, she discovered one of DCA's snack locations (Cozy Cone Motel 3) is currently serving three varieties of Handwich. She took a group of her friends and tried the lot. Says it was the highlight of her whole trip.
is she also a arsonist?
"There was a book about this with the temperature right in the title: one thousand nine hundred and eighty four" was worth a like.
I had to pause the video and immediately tell my roommate about that joke. my reaction was visceral.
.....
Holy fuck that went right over my head the first time
I had to pause the video and go check that it was 451. Kevin is THAT convincing.
I love that the store section is literally just him recording himself walking into a store, buying a loaf of bread, struggling at the self checkout like everyone else, then just walking out but the voice over made it so intense
I loved the demented ghost of mickey just joining in the chorus of "ha~ndwich!"
"The first sandwich you can hold with one hand. " Never mind that one of the origin stories of the sandwich is that was made by a servant when the Earl of sandwich wanted something to eat with one hand without putting down his cards.
Well, that's where the name came from. People have been putting things between bread since....well for as long as we've had bread.
A better tagline would have been, "The handy sandwich!™"
I heard the story was he wanted something he could eat with his hands (plural) at the card table (instead of knife and fork).
I heard that story he wanted something that he could eat with his gloved hands (plural) at the card table (instead of exposing his soft, fleshy hands).
I suspect the issue was that, unlike British sandwiches or the sort of things kids get in their lunch box both sides of the Atlantic, which tend to be fairly simple affairs specifically designed to be made quickly, transported easily, and eaten on the go and/or one-handed, US deli-style sandwiches tend to go for hugely overloading the fillings, using more fillings than the bread can contain and/or using ones that make a mess.
As such the handwich was sort of an attempt, via the extremely dodgy application of first-principle reverse engineering, to create the solution for a problem that never needed to exist outside of a deli in the first place.
The latter half of this video was both hilarious and chaotically insane. I loved every moment, and I bet thar poor Arby's worker was so confused.
...as I had to pause at the intentional swapping of 451 and 1984. Well played, sir. Well played.
That was beautiful.
i love how Kevin's topics vary from the incredibly complicated dynamics of queuing behaviour and systems applied to alter it, to Fucked Up Samwidge
*sammich
**hanmmich
* * * sahfbei iich
Schamich
“Sandwedge”
I like how this tutorial started with a thorough step by step process of making your own dough and slow cooked chicken, and ended with him assaulting a baguette and stuffing it with Arby's meat.
while disembodied voices murmur "haaaandwich" over and over, no less.
You know how it does with making food; you start with stuffing Arby's into a bread stick, and you end up no longer existing.
@@Blackheartzero it happens all the time just like when you're filleting fish and it calls for death to come just annoying kitchen stuff
"Stuffing it with Arby's meat"
😏
In defense of the Handwich name, I like its “one letter off from Sandwich” thing, and compared to “Castle Cones”, it seems more overt with its whole sandwich deal, while with the latter, some might’ve instinctively (and incorrectly) picture it as an *ice cream* cone
"Oh, and some mozzarella sticks."
"You want four or six?"
" *SIX* "
Those are rookie numbers
@@A_Toaster yea. A true pro eats like 24 in 1 sitting so ye rookie numbers
one always needs a snack when “cooking” (i.e. assembling a handwich in a fevered state at midnight)
Saying five at this very moment would have been a power move.
The deep Defunctlore with that one
This is one of those dumb ideas you think up with the bois and then laugh at how stupid it was the next day
This is 100% a Highdea
Except when you’re Michael Eisner you throw a hundred thousand dollars at the idea the next day.
@@cokentutes Michael Eisner has no dumb ideas. Michael Eisner says so.
@@merrittanimation7721 “Isn’t that right, Jeffrey Kittykatzenberg?”
@@ebwarg "Meow" "See, he agrees."
Whoever you got for this 50's VA is nailing it.
Edit: If DefunctPan becomes a regular thing, Kevin needs to make Pirate Ship Tuna Burgers.
He definitely should make DefunctPan another series.
@@trystan7533 I smell a Babish crossover!
And it smells… _delicious._
Honestly a side series where Kevin tries to recreate old theme park food & drink would be kinda fun to see, especially if he shared the recipes. Like Mythical Kitchen’s Past Food series, but with 100% more jabs at Michael Eisner.
@@anone.mousse674 oh that be amazing.
@@MrSkerpentine Defunctpan: A mix of history, nostalgia, and Jabs at bad ideas.
20:08 "The Handwhich was meant to die. *Let it Stay Dead* "
I need that on a SHIRT LMAO 💀
"she will never be able to achieve the dreams you projected onto her" is the most accurate thing I've ever heard said about parents.
"please stop clapping, it freaks me out when I'm using a knife"
"egg. Doesn't matter how you slice it, it'll still taste terrible"
god these are some of the best quotes ever
Honestly, the 'Handwich' would have been a tasty, fun treat for Disney had they not marketed it as a "revolutionary, sandwich of the future" that promised to be more than it actually was. That being: just a weirdly-shaped sandwich.
Castle Cone was a better name, imo.
Yeah, I think I agree. While it's hardly a revolutionary idea, it's not exactly a terrible idea. It's "a sort of weirdly-shaped sandwich", so it's kind of odd that it was an outright failure. I could see a food cart selling them and being somewhat successful.
If you're eating from the top, I could see these being actually kind of nice. With just one hand, it seems like a nice way to keep all the filling *in* the sandwich
The problem for me is that the cone-shape makes the filling unevenly distributed: you'll start with only eating salad and end with only eating bread.
But you can probably alleviate that problem with different cone-shapes or different layers of filling.
I agree that it could be a minor hit as a fun novelty food, without all that "future of food" nonsense
i want the pulled chicken one
I had to rewatch the intro because I thought for sure he had promised me a mushu-shrimp mixed berry nightmare combo, but it was actually two handwiches in a list of failed handwiches. It says a lot about what this channel has taught me about disney that i fully believed in the shrimp berry sandwich.
I didnt catch on that he meant seperate flavors until I read your comment and I was amazed that shrimp and berries could ever have been a good idea
@@cyber_xiii3786 I feel like somebody somewhere could make it work, but I also don't trust handwiches to be the moment it happenst
Same bro
Honestly, it doesnt sound half bad? I eat fried chicken with grape jelly so 🤷 🦐🍓
I am just so relieved that I am not the only person who thinks about that book whenever I put paper in the oven or have paper near any sort of heat or flame at all. Thank you Defunctland, I feel human again.
I came to watch about how the handwich failed. But I ended up getting an epic cinematic journey on how to make them in many different ways. Did not expect this at all!
Huh. Didn't expect to find you here, Darzeth.
... So, uh. Not sure what else to say. Hope you have a pleasant rest of your day?
@@habstab6551 heya
Look up Japanese crepes
What's up, checkmark
Same here. I think I'll make one of my own like a pb&j
No one's talking about that 1984 joke, but that was solid. Props, Kevin
It WAS solid and I busted a gut. But, those who understand, understand. No need to educate the rubes. :P
Straight up laughed out loud.
It went by so quick but I loved it
Was expecting it after seeing this comment but it still caught me by surprise, absolute gold
I mean, it isn't as good as "handwich rides you", but it is a damn good joke.
"Your daughter is real sweet but she's a bit of an arsonist." That went from 0 to 100 real fast.
Was anyone else reminded of Philosophy Tube when he said that?
17:28
The parody of kitchen shows was already funny. The mixing part was already hilarious. But Kevin going “whoooooaaaa” with the cheesy background song is what made it for me.
I'd be so mad if they never thought of filling it with pizza toppings because that would've made so much sense to me
Great news! This is a calzone!
In my town a pizza shop sells pizza cones.
@@commandrogyne I think it's an important distinction that a calzone is topologically closed and the handwich is not.
However, we would have accepted the objection "this is a New York fold"
As in Tasty Cones?
@@commandrogyne Indeed.
I think it’s pretty in the spirit of the Handwich to reinvent something that already exists, and make it slightly dumber.
Love the fact that making the BBQ sauce involves onion, cider vinegar, sugar, and an entire bottle of store-bought BBQ sauce.
THINKING QUICKLY, KEVIN CONSTRUCTS A HOMEMADE BARBECUE SAUCE USING ONLY SOME ONION, VINEGAR, SUGAR, AND BARBECUE SAUCE.
Lmao I worked at an insanely busy steakhouse that claimed to make their own BBQ sauce. It was literally just heating up Open pit and mixing it with liquid smoke 😂
Hot sauce at a pizza place I worked at was just Frank's red hot with pepper, crushed red pepper, garlic, and an herb that might have been oregano but I don't remember clearly. Really improved it though.
That reminds me of a story, in second grade me and a few kids somehow got interested in making peanut butter. We all went home made the best peanut butter we could, bring it to school to determine a winner. This guy wins and I’m talking to him asking how he made it. And he’s like “oh yeah it’s mostly jif” like goddamnit man that doesn’t count lol
Hey man, Joe's BBQ is no joke!
They thought they were making a culinary breakthrough. Little did they know that Burritos existed.
i dont think eisner has ever even seen a mexican man, let alone mexican cuisine.
Shawarma too😂
or Onigiri
or a sandwich. cut in half
Burritos imo are also easier eaten with two hands, but imo hot pockets filled whatever void hamwiches were trying to fill
I love this energy. The history of your burn marks, the child arsonist, the “hiyah”. It just all is so silly and delightful. I do wonder if the fun 2005 baking show outfit was something from your own closet.
This felt like something off of Adult Swim in the wee hours of the morning and I loved every second of it.
@ 6:38 - the subtitles should be (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah)
PLEASE shorten your videos, this would be good; condensed to 5 minutes. Stick to the facts! I want to watch a documentary, not listen to rambling. Unsubscribed
@@geckowizard9058 Aren't documentaries like..normally half an hour at minimum?
Defunctland: “Prepare for trouble.”
BrutalFoods: “And Make it double.”
@@geckowizard9058 Nostra isn't Kevin.
The ambrosia salad, like a ren and Stimpy commercial for sure
“Surrealist cooking show about old theme park food” was not something I was expecting to see today, or ever, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy thoroughly it
Idk what was surreal about it, but I agree, it was very entertaining
I love the idea that Michael Eisner just never heard of a crepe
When I visited New Orleans, there was a resturaunt that served savory crepes with meat, cheese, and vegetables, just like a Handwich.
@@InventorZahran do they not have these where you live? 😥
I mean there are savory crepes, I haven't eaten a authentic crepe but I'd recon the texture would be different because the bread part of handwiches are actual bread, in that case burritos and anything wrapped in tortilla really is a handwich then
@@InventorZahran they have a stand that sells savory crepes like that at Universal Studios
Or tacos or any kind of street food that involves bread.
i love that this video could’ve just been about how they created an okay product but the marketing didn’t really you can hold and eat almost any other kind of sandwich in one hand, but instead it was funny and chaotic and “she’s a bit of an arsonist” absolutely killed me
Me halfway through: "That's okay, I don't need to watch him replicate the process twice."
Me at the end: "Best psychological horror movie of 2021."
“Please stop clapping it freaks me out when I’m using a knife”
“God I’m tired” - nearly inaudible 😂
The handwich actually sounds really convenient for things like pulled pork or chicken. Things that are typically really drippy or might slide out. I can't eat gluten though, so a bowl it is for me.
There's really good gluten free mixes that allow you to bake pretty much anything! If they're available (and not too pricy) in the US, look for Schar's Bread Mix Flour (I think it's mix B - mix A being all-purpose and mix C being for cakes/sweet stuff that don't need to rise). I've had to eat gluten free since I was a kid and they've really improved *so much* these last 20 or so years! :D and the website has basic recipes for pretty much anything. I can confirm white bread takes like 2 hours to make and ends up d e l i c i o u s for GF standards. Good luck! ^^
Yes!!
Yeah but they discontinued it, so I guess you could say....... its a wrap
i feel like pita would still work better
Yeah, that's a definitely strong use case
Okay, but that Mac and cheese one actually looks fire
“The first sandwich you can eat with one hand” was an especially funny line considering I’m literally eating a sandwich with one hand right now
Well with a normal sandwich the ability to hold it one handed depends on many variables like the size of the hand and the portion, the ingredients and their amount, how it's cut and whatnot. But handwich kind of ensures that _everyone_ can hold it in one hand no matter what.
Yeh, that line's dumb. Still, the Handwich seems like a cool idea.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I mean the whole point of a sandwich is that you can (mostly) hold it in one hand.
I'm eating a folded tortilla with one hand.
@Argus Big time, all due to a man's love for poker.
Honestly, this is one of the best videos you've made --> the script, the editing, the cinematography, the costumes. You didn't have to go as far as you did, but you did, and that's why I appreciate this channel
imagine if this was how the series ended. kevin is lost and he's never coming back. hope you enjoyed defunctland.
I deeply want there to be a youtube channel like the one described...
I honestly thought the video was going to end Quantum Leap style with a title card saying "Kevin Perjurer never returned home."
This is like when the one kid in your group project keeps insisting on using their really stupid idea because they're convinced it will improve the project tenfold, only here that kid is an executive for one of, if not the largest entertainment conglomerates on the planet
What I love about Defunctland is that you may click a notification and get a movie-length rock opera documentary, or you may get...the Handwich.
Bring it on.
beginning: haha he's gonna make a 90s disneyland food
twenty-minute mark: End Of Kev-angelion
I like the establishment of three Kevins: 1970s-1980s Public Access Kevin: who scratch-makes his delectable morsels as his voice laps at your inner ear like warm honey, 2000s Daytime TV Kevin: a student of Sandra Lee's "semi-homemade" method, and 2020s Cocaine Kevin: a somewhat distressed man pleading with a service industry worker at 1 AM to fill three bowls of Arby's Beef and Cheddar filling as the voice of Michael Eisner tries to convince him every idea he ever had was a good one.
One more: Lost in the Void Cliffhanger Ending Kevin.
I forgot about that lush Sandra Lee. She made a "cocktail" by drinking Hypnotiq straight.
“Whose voice laps at your inner ear like warm honey” is the most upsetting thing I’ve read this week
defunctlore
@@n0m4nic fun fact: she was going through a divorce at the time
Dude, this video is a masterpiece. You did such a good job emulating a mid-aughts cooking-show-within-another-show-that-has-a-live-audience. Even the announcer voice sounded spot on, with that high energy, excited tone of voice popularized by MTV back then. And the handwhich at the end that's basically a sub sandwich with arby's meat 🤣
I laughed, I cried, and at the end I called my mother to tell her I love her. Chef's kiss, my friend!
"nothing can stop me from making more hamwiches" such a raw line
NOTHING can stop him
the sandwich was meant to die, let it stay dead
is a close second
11:04 “I will only be baking two: one for me and one for you”
KEEEEEVIIIINNN YOU’RE SUCH A SWEETHEART
That’s Two-Handwich Kevin for ya
@@off-the-grounder568 im mad at you, take my Like good sir.
I like how this started off as a typical defunctland episode and ended as an acid trip
@ 6:38 - the subtitles should be (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah)
PLEASE shorten your videos, this would be good; condensed to 5 minutes. Stick to the facts! I want to watch a documentary, not listen to rambling. Unsubscribed
ended as howtobasic
@@geckowizard9058 why are you telling that to us though?
@@geckowizard9058 oooOOOO nobody gives a shit!
6 minutes in and now I'm concerned
In Hollywood Studios at Fairfax Fare they now sell “mashed potato waffle bowls” with buff chix, korean bbq, or beef brisket. During the training the language used around the condensed, fully edible food being “cutting edge” was very similar. They’re definitely recycling the idea.
“Wherever it was, it was billed as Disney’s newest attraction, implying you can ride the Handwich. When in reality, the Handwich rides you.”
You can’t drop lines like this and stay serious lmfao
Handwich is a top, confirmed.
@ 6:38 - the subtitles should be (blah blah blah blah blah blah blah)
PLEASE shorten your videos, this would be good; condensed to 5 minutes. Stick to the facts! I want to watch a documentary, not listen to rambling. Unsubscribed
"Lets keep it at a mezzo-forte, Kevin's got a headache" has NO BUSINESS being as funny as it is.
Came to learn about the handwich, stayed for the emotional journey to make the third hanwich 😭
alternate names for the handwich that could have helped it take off:
-conewich
-flavor triangle
-the statue of liberty's torch, but delicious
-the forbidden party hat
-eisner's scourge upon humanity
if they named it Eisner's scourge on humanity half of Disney parks would have the same name
I think "Eisner's scourge upon humanity" was the working title for "Superstar Limo"
Funny, I would’ve called it “Disney’s Conewich.” *The only sandwich you can eat in the shape of a cone*
Forbidden party hat is my fav lol
Why aren’t you working at Disney? Theses are GENIUS!
I'm going to be honest here, I actually kind of respect Michael Eisner's willingness to try stupid stuff. The dude's like "Sandwich cones! Why not!? Throw it at the wall and see if it sticks!"
me too 😔 I weirdly love him
This is so much better than the modern CEOs of Disney as they are too fearful of losing money now to do that.
Michael Eisner in my opinion isn’t anywhere close as evil as the current CEO.
At least Eisner was ambitious and tried to push boundaries! If he wanted a Disney cruise line, he built it himself and didn’t just buy Carnival.
@crassgop Well that is a lucky furniture guy!
@@roxynano Too bad he probably credits his success to hard work and he got there by himself.
@crassgop I know a guy who used to be a server at Applebee's and now he's a wealth planner who makes like 1-2 million bucks a year. Doesn't have a college degree.
And you know what? He's fantastic at his job. We all started somewhere. Nothing wrong with climbing the ladder from the bottom rung.
Kevin: “It was Michael Eisner”
Everyone: *Surprised Pikachu face*
Wow, must be a day that ends in Y
It's ALWAYS Michael Eisner 😭
**Peewee Herman voice** AAAAAHHHH YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD AAAAAAHHHH
Amazing that even given a keyboard and ample space to type words, people instead choose to describe what a meme might look like.
@@mercster certain subsets of culture are evolving past language. Most people don't even have a firm enough grasp on regular English, let alone whatever we would like to call "meme culture" so they use it as a replacement mainly for informal situations
The fact that you mimicked the style of cooking shows from different decades, from the julia childs style "and mix" all the way up to the studio audience over produced style of the mid 2000s, and closing out with the meme style cooking of the modern era is amazing. This is such a beautiful intricate mix of styles. So impressive man.
I was not prepared for the existential crisis of a failed sandwich.
Don't worry, it just sounds like the predecessor of a wrap. It was almost a... *half baked* idea, you could say.
"She may never achieve he dreams you've pushed onto her."
Kevin, you're brilliant.
*projected
It's a very important detail that he's forcing his own dreams onto her
14:18
"the first sandwhich you can hold in one hand"
FUCK this grilled cheese is so heavy and unweildy, gah, if only I could hold it one hand!
Lmfao
What mortal man has the strength to lift a whole BLT with one hand I ask you.
WHAT MORTAL MAN?!
Ironic because the legend of the invention of the sandwich was like that to begin with.
Supposedly John Montague, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, had a gambling habit and he wanted something he could eat with one hand to keep his cards in the other hand. So he ordered his cooks to make something along those lines and then later his friends started ordering "the same thing as Sandwich"
@@ashkitt7719 it’s because some kids found a witch serving magic food at the beach stop spreading misinformation
@@ashkitt7719 iirc sushi was invented around the same time by another dude who wanted a card hand and a food hand
I love how chaotic that "Defunct Kitchen" segment was. Like, you're daughter is an arsonist, and to try to get her principal to not expel her, you're gonna make a handwich? Fantastic. Perfect solution. 😃