THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES

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  • Опубліковано 6 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 286

  • @thatonepersonyouwontremember
    @thatonepersonyouwontremember 3 роки тому +1710

    "Currently unoccupied, just in case you and Martin were looking for a room~" Oh Helen, you dead gaslighting queen of ours

    • @yumiendercat3685
      @yumiendercat3685 3 роки тому +256

      Helen saying that to an asexual is so perfect

    • @frogwithknives3749
      @frogwithknives3749 3 роки тому +19

      Oh my god i love your profile pic

    • @matheusribeiro4733
      @matheusribeiro4733 2 роки тому +125

      since she just said that the hote IS her, when she said that i went like "yo- YO WHA- EW HELEN WHAT THE FUCK, NO!"

    • @broblerone413
      @broblerone413 2 роки тому +52

      @@matheusribeiro4733 SAME LIKE WHAT THE FUCK, HELEN

    • @arublack7314
      @arublack7314 6 місяців тому +7

      Ally

  • @EVind-xz8km
    @EVind-xz8km 3 роки тому +1636

    RIP Helen, mourned by none but Martin in-universe but by many a-door-ing fans of the podcast

  • @melshinta2966
    @melshinta2966 3 роки тому +1294

    OH MY GOSH HELEN'S RUNNING COMMENTARY AS JON DOES A STATEMENT!!! HELEN!!! XDDD I LOVE this episode.

  • @faxonii
    @faxonii 3 роки тому +773

    every time jon and martin call each other their boyfriend i start sobbing

    • @faxonii
      @faxonii 3 роки тому +108

      gay people,, they exist,,
      good for them, good for them

    • @innitheotaku3883
      @innitheotaku3883 3 роки тому +36

      God this is a mood I feel on the daily

    • @merryscooter519
      @merryscooter519 2 роки тому +18

      @@faxonii THIS MADE ME WHEEZE

  • @midnightthoughts2422
    @midnightthoughts2422 2 роки тому +800

    I find Michael's end so tragic, he was fighting off his own nature, and thats what got him destroyed, he was "a face that stopped smiling" and he was SO close to stopping Elias, more than anyone else in the series
    They way I understand it, The Distortion twists it's victims and then wears them, not as a fusion, but rather as a suit. This suit may use some of the victim's personality or memories, but only through the purpose of confusing and spreading fear.
    What happened with Michael is that The Distortion DIDN'T choose to wear him, they rather got fused and ended up with the original Michael being able to shine through and manipulate The Distortion's will and actions.
    The Distortion DIDN'T want Jon dead, they wanted him to be alive cause they knew to some extent that Elias's ritual required Jon alive and would benefit them. Now, Michael didn't want the ritual to happen, he wanted to keep the balance, to have no one win. And thus we end up with Distortion!Michael trying to kill Jon, because he "didn't want neither the circus nor the archives to win". He kept helping Jon to stop other entities, but always planned on killing him to stop the archives. A very interesting detail is that Distortion!Michael didn't lie to Jon, even when he was "the throat of delusion incarnate", while Distortion!Helen did, which to me signifies how Helen Richardson was never a part of Distortion!Helen
    But at the end, Michael pushed too far, he went so against it's own nature, "let feelings that shouldn't have been his overwhelm me [The Distortion]" which allowed The Distortion to take back control, choosing Helen, a friendlier face to replace Distortion!Michael. But this face wasn't Helen, not the way Michael Shelley was Michael. Helen is 100% dead, and so is her personality. While Distortion!Michael's personality was a mix of both Michael and the Distortion, Distortion!Helen was just The Distortion tricking all of us into thinking that it worked the same way Distortion!Michael did. Helen was the ultimate gaslight, and I only realised this with this episode, and I feel most people gloss over how magnificently written The Distortion's nature is

    • @biancamlf288
      @biancamlf288 2 роки тому +91

      God, I love reading in-depth analyses of things like this. This was a beautiful thing I hadn't even considered!

    • @YodasMessenger
      @YodasMessenger Рік тому +31

      i am on my 5th time listening to this series and i think i only just understood all that

    • @castielwinchester4481
      @castielwinchester4481 Рік тому +73

      that's such a great analysis and explains to me (at least personally) why distortion!micheal was so much more alluring as a character than distortion!helen. it always felt like she became more... hollowed out that michael did, that there was less and less of helen to a much more extreme extent than with micheal. micheal was more of a fusion, while helen was genuinely more like a possession. both were still great characters, but I felt like you could see the leftovers of humanity within micheal much more than helen. brilliantly written!!!

    • @youwillnotfindmeivo
      @youwillnotfindmeivo 9 місяців тому +26

      I've spent countless bus rides thinking about how The Distortion functions and this explanation is the most perfect theory I've heard and made ne finally understand the entire concept. It makes perfect sense considering how Michael explained his existence to Jon when the circus kidnapped him. Also how it was even able to happen because Michael Shelley entered Thr Distortion during thr ritual, when it's vulnerable and managed to find it's center because of the map

    • @tylerjseph2547
      @tylerjseph2547 5 місяців тому +1

      That makes so much sense

  • @maryagrimm8412
    @maryagrimm8412 2 роки тому +532

    Everyone in the notes calling Helen their deceased wife is valid

    • @ButterflyColors
      @ButterflyColors 2 роки тому +40

      I can’t believe we’re all widows 😔

    • @lucassism6726
      @lucassism6726 6 місяців тому +18

      girlie said notes like this was tumblr

  • @TheRealEvilkitten3
    @TheRealEvilkitten3 3 роки тому +1555

    martin i'm trying to kill the distortion but she's dummy confusing and the clap of her doorways keeps distracting the ceaseless watcher

    • @alabaster_rox
      @alabaster_rox 3 роки тому +177

      i fucking hate this LMAO

    • @TheRealEvilkitten3
      @TheRealEvilkitten3 3 роки тому +102

      @@alabaster_rox that's just what the web wanted you to say

    • @user-th3tg4fb5g
      @user-th3tg4fb5g 2 роки тому +89

      how do i unread this 💀

    • @sageb3026
      @sageb3026 2 роки тому +33

      Under rated comment 😂

    • @TheRealEvilkitten3
      @TheRealEvilkitten3 2 роки тому +17

      @@sageb3026 look if it gets seven more likes then i'm satisfied

  • @agustinamagpie
    @agustinamagpie 3 роки тому +898

    Literal chills. LITERAL CHILLS. I always knew Helen was... Well, bad, but it was so fucking hard to dislike her! Isn't that the mark of an excellently crafted villain?

    • @mimkyodar
      @mimkyodar 3 роки тому +83

      The most toxic enemies are the ones who pretend to be your friends.

    • @krishadyn5211
      @krishadyn5211 6 місяців тому +5

      Not really. She was malicious and fake as they come. If you met her in real life, she'd feel cringey. Its the performance people liked.

  • @f_mva
    @f_mva 3 роки тому +1148

    me, putting on a heavy black veil, tears streaming down my face and artistically ruining my eyeliner: i cannot believe jon archivist sims has killed my sweet, precious, innocent wife. this man is a rampaging lunatic and he must be stopped at all costs

    • @JH-cp8wf
      @JH-cp8wf 3 роки тому +319

      Jon: this thing is the embodiment of false friends and deceptive kindness. of those who prey on those who love them.
      The fanbase: But she was such a kind friend! I loved her!

    • @f_mva
      @f_mva 3 роки тому +134

      @@JH-cp8wf i pretend i do not see it

    • @cezar3169
      @cezar3169 3 роки тому +74

      @@JH-cp8wf She'll be sorrowfully missed.

    • @Arya-el9ps
      @Arya-el9ps 3 роки тому +83

      sisters, we shall avenge our classy door wife

    • @cezar3169
      @cezar3169 3 роки тому +20

      @@Arya-el9ps YES

  • @rorygiambalvo2955
    @rorygiambalvo2955 3 роки тому +756

    Jon narrating how the woman finds him and interrupts the statement was so good. And his "Don't touch me!" could mean so many things! Helen obviously suggested it was because he now thinks regular humans are beneath him, trying to make him give into his more monstrous side. But really this is one of the few times he and a "statement giver" have any sort of real contact. He can't put up any sort of psychological boundaries to their suffering because she's right here begging him for help and it could've just freaked him out. Also a lot of the Marks he got had to do with physical trauma, so some hellscape stranger grabbing him in a frenzy isn't going to be taken well.

    • @imalittlelady
      @imalittlelady 2 роки тому +106

      I got a bit angry at Jon for that one. But, honestly? I would’ve freaked out too if someone crying and pleading started touching me…I think ur assumption about his ‘Marks Trauma’ is spot on, but it can also be just under the scope of showing us that Jon is losing himself lil by lil and is getting all too evil :((

    • @ViridianForests
      @ViridianForests Рік тому +106

      Very late but I think he might just have a problem with touching in general? Especially since he was kidnapped by Nikola and they lotionned his (very unwilling) body for a full month while he was trapped... We didn't get any further details about that afterwards, but I think its safe to assume that since they wanted all of his skin, it wouldn't just be hand lotion or whatever...
      The idea makes me sick honestly

    • @InsidiousClouds
      @InsidiousClouds Рік тому +49

      Yeah I totally agree, his tone absolutely came off as in disgust, which caught me off guard. But seeing this comment... it recontectualizes it a bit. He yelled not in disgust, but in fear.

    • @fauxclaws
      @fauxclaws Рік тому +36

      ah that makes sense, I was really really thrown off when he yelled at her like that, but it being a scared reaction makes sense. it doesn't make sense for him to think of her as below him when he was trying to help her literally a second before he yelled.

    • @a-bird-lover
      @a-bird-lover 10 місяців тому +19

      and then there's me projecting the autism on him

  • @MultiPerla16
    @MultiPerla16 3 роки тому +684

    I never trusted Helen but did love her
    Rest in peace, annoying queen

  • @thousandpagesofmadness
    @thousandpagesofmadness 9 місяців тому +195

    Helen "all of the rooms are still me" and "the honeymoon suite is unoccupied" good lord, girl get a glass of water

  • @twigthetroll9279
    @twigthetroll9279 3 роки тому +295

    Helen: "And for all his bleeding heart, Martin's just as bad. Worse, even, in some ways."
    Jon, softly: "...Yes he is."
    HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH I'M DYING

  • @bridgetb.7965
    @bridgetb.7965 3 роки тому +686

    can't believe helen was a tory😔 honestly not surprising considering her line of work. this is one of those episodes that re-contextualizes a lot of the series. back when she told him that she was still just as much helen richardson as he was jon, it wasn't exactly a lie, but she meant something else. as long as jon was still struggling with his sense of morality and personhood, the distortion had to keep pretending helen was just one step further down the slippery monster slope in the hopes that it could get jon to lean into the urge to give in. i love the clarity jon has about what she was now. 'you took her. and i'll never get to dislike her. i'm stuck disliking you instead.' such a good line!!

  • @amphitritemists4595
    @amphitritemists4595 3 роки тому +417

    RIP Helen, my hallway wife, my door wife
    But the part where Jon yells at the woman for touching him. I...he's been touched without his consent too often in the last years and each time he's gotten more and more hurt. I know the last episode was already released but I'm going to sit here and pretend like he's living a happy life getting some much needed therapy and cuddles from Martin

  • @cthulhufhtagn2483
    @cthulhufhtagn2483 3 роки тому +325

    I didn't notice this the first time I listened to this episode, but through the whole thing, Helen's voice has this slight mechanical hum to it, like she's talking through an intercom. The only exception is when the victim woman shows up, at which point there's a subtle bit of static and her voice loses that quality. When the woman leaves, through a door that manifests with the same bit of static, Helen's voice goes mechanical again. That implies - very, _very_ subtly - that she's purely talking to Jon in the form of the hotel, only appearing in person to torment her victim and knowing full well that Jon can communicate with her perfectly no matter how she appears. That is _brilliant_ visual - well, audial, I suppose - storytelling.

    • @claudiachavezmelara8941
      @claudiachavezmelara8941 Рік тому +11

      This is so well thought that I imagine the team being like: "we did that...?" lmao

    • @fauxclaws
      @fauxclaws Рік тому +7

      i'm so glad you pointed that out because up untill halfway throw thats how I was imagining it, and I had to stop and think about why. I wasn't sure if she was there in her person form or not

    • @_leaf-3525
      @_leaf-3525 11 місяців тому +13

      because of the voice I imagined Helen as a little intercom speaker sliding around the halls and following Jon the whole time lol

    • @skellish
      @skellish 8 місяців тому +6

      Honestly I didn't even think about it until I saw this comment, I just simply understood perfectly that Helen as herself wasn't there in the room with Jon. What amazing audio work that you can "see" it all so clearly.

  • @thunderclancat123
    @thunderclancat123 Рік тому +177

    "Do you... want to mourn?" The fear in his voice was so profound. He wasn't scared of anything this entire episode, but the thought of accidentally making Martin sad was the kicker. I love these guys

  • @neos8421
    @neos8421 2 роки тому +131

    Everyone mourning Helen but nobody praising how good the invocation of the ceaseless watcher killing her was , like as someone who tends to lie pathologically the fear of someone catching me in a lie and slowly unraveling all that i am and laying me bared is absolutely terrifying so no wonder the spiral fears that from the eye

  • @bladenot-runner1795
    @bladenot-runner1795 2 роки тому +170

    Helen was entertaining, but as someone who has been gaslit for years? Absolutely fucking terrifying. This is an example of why I don't trust friendly people. This episode... this was disturbing and cathartic.

  • @tierd_spaghetti0
    @tierd_spaghetti0 Рік тому +77

    “ It’s very tasteful…. There’s FERNS”

  • @someoneawesome8717
    @someoneawesome8717 3 роки тому +171

    *Hotel California intensifies*

    • @amniamin22
      @amniamin22 3 роки тому +6

      RIGHT I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS THINKING THAT

    • @adrienne-ukulelecraftsandm559
      @adrienne-ukulelecraftsandm559 3 роки тому +8

      @@amniamin22 I literally called this domain “ Helen’s Nightmare Hotel California “ 😂

    • @erikluis1476
      @erikluis1476 2 роки тому +1

      Thought that as well 🪦

  • @Pineapplecrispy
    @Pineapplecrispy 9 місяців тому +38

    I love how Jon and Helen are friends. They hate each other, but they are friends.

  • @lenalotus2484
    @lenalotus2484 9 місяців тому +34

    Helen and Jon is like a MIL and SIL that only play nice because of their son/bf (Martin) but also secretly like one another
    Helen talking inbetween Jon's statement added so much life to me

    • @vaxshin
      @vaxshin 7 місяців тому

      It's a vibe

  • @racoon_in_ankhmorpork
    @racoon_in_ankhmorpork 2 роки тому +99

    Wow, this episode was superb. I loved Helen’s commentary through Jon’s statement, and I loved the clarity of seeing the Distortion for what it truly is. I’m sad to see her go, but her demise was beautifully written. Jon’s “Helen, was that… a lie?” is SUCH a good line, SO well delivered, _gods._ It almost gave me chills.

  • @melshinta2966
    @melshinta2966 3 роки тому +243

    SHE'S **SUCH** A PERSONALITY!!! I LOVE HELEN!! But I can't even HATE Jon for what happens in this ep, it was SO well developed and written!! I JUST CRAI IS ALL.

  • @XerxesTexasToast
    @XerxesTexasToast 3 роки тому +126

    "If you do this, everyone inside me is dead!" I sure hope that was a lie

    • @imalittlelady
      @imalittlelady 2 роки тому +31

      I think it’ll be better if it wasn’t; cuz it’ll mean they all are free now…

    • @nanuqo2006
      @nanuqo2006 7 місяців тому +8

      I heard “Everyone inside me is already dead”

    • @gregjayonnaise8314
      @gregjayonnaise8314 3 місяці тому +3

      Im pretty sure it was. People can’t die in the eyepocalypse, and even if Helen is killed, it doesn’t actually destroy her dimension as long as the Spiral itself exists

  • @SkyP9812
    @SkyP9812 6 місяців тому +18

    Rest in peace, Ms. Yaoi Hands....
    Rest. In. Peace. 😔

  • @neither_emonor_punk9355
    @neither_emonor_punk9355 2 роки тому +94

    the sound of this episode is absolutely stunning, the fact that Helen communicates with Jon through speakers 'cos she IS the building... fantastic. also the forth wall break then the victim runs to Jon and Helen... wow just wow

  • @JaneDoe_123
    @JaneDoe_123 3 роки тому +133

    As much as I liked Helen, this was SATISFYING!

  • @quantumblauthor7300
    @quantumblauthor7300 3 роки тому +85

    My hallway wife, my door wife

  • @rory1336
    @rory1336 Рік тому +34

    The Distortion's/Michael's/Helen's nature makes SO MUCH SENSE damn good writing I'm obsessed

    • @strawberrycoolatta
      @strawberrycoolatta 9 місяців тому +2

      wdym?? its the spiral, if it makes sense its not good /j

  • @pyrosianheir
    @pyrosianheir 3 роки тому +154

    RIP Helen. You were creepy AF, but entertaining at the same time. Farewell.
    Edit: Oh hey, that's Hartro searching for her son! :D

    • @082991cris
      @082991cris 3 роки тому +6

      I just noticed! Thanks

    • @Speckaboo
      @Speckaboo 3 роки тому +2

      who's Hartro?

    • @pyrosianheir
      @pyrosianheir 3 роки тому +1

      @@Speckaboo a character from the Stellar Firma podcast, by RQ. It's much more comedic. They also just posted its finale to the channel, so you could go watch it now, too! 76 total episodes.

    • @sashaneumann
      @sashaneumann 2 роки тому +9

      @@Speckaboo the voice actress for the mother is the same that played Hartro in Stellar Firma, another Rusty Quill podcast with main characters played by Ben Meredith (Elias) and his brother Tim Meredith.

  • @ButterflyColors
    @ButterflyColors 2 роки тому +69

    This is one of the most creative statements! Helen chipping in, the statement mentioning Jon, the victim showing up in real time! Bravo!
    Also rest in peace my distortion queen, you will be missed

  • @jydeosaure6564
    @jydeosaure6564 3 роки тому +80

    10:12 10:18 helen u cheeky little distortion u
    I love her comments throught the statement, its pretty funny

  • @epsyblue7714
    @epsyblue7714 2 роки тому +50

    I'm going to miss "Helen". Her commentary was hilarious.

  • @io_online
    @io_online 3 роки тому +66

    This episode and the last have been so freaking good my GOD. RIP door wife, you will be missed, you gaslighting manipulative fabulous queen.

  • @olajza91
    @olajza91 Рік тому +34

    This might be my favorite one. It delves deep into the distortion and its motivation throughout the series, it shows John as a full fledged avatar of the eye with both power and purpose, ends with a climactic showdown and all the casual banter and small talk just flows so well. Especially the scene when they keep up their banter while they both try to influence this poor woman pleading for her child is absolute gold.

  • @haroldgloom8637
    @haroldgloom8637 3 роки тому +46

    I miss Michael.

    • @imalittlelady
      @imalittlelady 2 роки тому +9

      He’d probably be worse than her ..but I miss him too🤡

  • @lilaboxx
    @lilaboxx 3 роки тому +63

    I wonder if you *can* lie to Jon or if he's like a walking lie detector

    • @fernandoblanco2170
      @fernandoblanco2170 Рік тому +13

      You can try and lie but he will just force the truth out of you or just know you were liyng

  • @secret3dthing
    @secret3dthing Рік тому +17

    my god Distortion's nature is so beautifully thought through
    "the fear of what's hiding behind the smile" ties so well in the volatility of the Distortion's physical manifestations, and makes so much sense regarding Michael's demise: its intent towards Jon stopped being a question

  • @hamnahmashood9094
    @hamnahmashood9094 10 місяців тому +15

    helen was so good at gaslighting that she got us all wrapped around her finger! rip queen u will be missed!!

  • @Dee-jp7ek
    @Dee-jp7ek 3 роки тому +36

    God, I've loved Helen since the beginning. Rest in piece queen

  • @ShadowyKatz
    @ShadowyKatz 2 роки тому +25

    And that's why she should've manifested a room when he asked.

  • @Vernrot
    @Vernrot 3 роки тому +29

    rest in peace hallway wife 😔

  • @LichenJuice
    @LichenJuice 3 роки тому +150

    currently pretending that tma is only on youtube and there are no more episodes released yet :) what do you mean it's ending in 2 days :)
    edit: ​*muffled sounds of me sobbing into my pillow*​

    • @cezar3169
      @cezar3169 3 роки тому +6

      yep, definitely not ending in two days, there are so many more episodes to come🙂

    • @maguc5906
      @maguc5906 3 роки тому +1

      Where might one not find some of these episodes that aren't released yet?

    • @LichenJuice
      @LichenJuice 3 роки тому +5

      ​@@maguc5906 Oh wait I forgot UA-cam filters out comments with links, my previous reply might not show up so here's one without links
      You can listen on Rusty Quill's website, Acast, probably also Spotify and other places you can listen to podcasts on Idk. There's a link to the website in the description of this video, and there's an Acast button there (Acast has content warnings and stuff, like UA-cam, so I usually listen there). UA-cam might flag this as spam or something if I put the links here sorry
      Most of the episodes are released on there, except for 200, which should be out this Thursday :)

    • @cezar3169
      @cezar3169 3 роки тому +3

      @@maguc5906 spotify, acast itunes and some others I don't now the name of. Ending's coming tomorrow 4pm gmt so if you're planning/thinking to catch up you better do it quickly

    • @maguc5906
      @maguc5906 3 роки тому +3

      @@cezar3169 @Mariam A thank you both so much I'm gonna listen to 12 episodes in two minutes I love you

  • @cae2212
    @cae2212 7 місяців тому +5

    "Still better than spiders", Helen should have gotten a pin with this

  • @Ra_the_Sun_god
    @Ra_the_Sun_god 3 роки тому +33

    Alright I know we all love Helen
    I didn’t mind that she died
    She was torturing people as all the avatars do but I’ll miss you queen

  • @SeerOfTime577
    @SeerOfTime577 2 роки тому +36

    I adore Helen and Michael, but, I've gotta say, Helen's death is one of the most badass scenes in the show.

  • @Mark-fc7tu
    @Mark-fc7tu 2 роки тому +19

    Her tactics and deflections weren't what made her predictable.
    People can lie and manipulate, but once you know for certain what their end goal is, it's all over for them.

  • @ir2264
    @ir2264 3 роки тому +30

    Hotel California: under new management

  • @jakupharrison8051
    @jakupharrison8051 2 роки тому +23

    I've loved Helen since her second apperance as the distortion, her running commentary is brilliance.

  • @104snowstorm
    @104snowstorm 11 місяців тому +7

    Honestly if this had been Michael it would've been tough for me...I guess Helen never got that far under my skin.

  • @anromeow
    @anromeow 3 роки тому +27

    aaaaand there goes my favourite avatar. I'll miss you Helen, my twisty funny wife

  • @semi_enigma
    @semi_enigma 3 роки тому +31

    I do really love Helen and I also Miss Michael lol

  • @erinbathie-moore8478
    @erinbathie-moore8478 7 місяців тому +5

    Welp. Helen was fun while she lasted. May her curling orange/pink fractals live within us 💘🧡

  • @Macey88
    @Macey88 3 роки тому +41

    I finished the last episode yesterday and I’m back to pretend it isn’t over yet.
    Back when I was happy.... back when I was hopeful..

  • @KenKen3593
    @KenKen3593 Рік тому +20

    Helen got big GLaDOS vibes this episode

  • @TheBbpeki
    @TheBbpeki 2 роки тому +16

    Oh Jon cmon Helen too? Yeah they are dangerous or whatever but if you kill all the fun avatars that's the point?

  • @cupcaketv5673
    @cupcaketv5673 Рік тому +9

    I caught a glimpse of one of the comments starting with "RIP Helen" at the beginning of the episode and at first I really thought I was going to miss her,
    But lo and behold, the awesome writing and performances now have me not really missing her at all
    (Tho I couldn't imagine any of the past episodes without her, she was still iconic imo)

  • @Shivimad1dubonmot
    @Shivimad1dubonmot 9 місяців тому +5

    I want a John, Helen, and Martin Thrupple sitcom with all their powers coming into play in wacky situations.

  • @Warm_Fireplace
    @Warm_Fireplace Рік тому +8

    I wasn´t ready for John to cross paths with someone trapped in those domains of fear.
    Its way easier to digest when its narrated by a third party... having the woman there makes it more relatable.
    And i totally had to take a break.

  • @faxonii
    @faxonii 3 роки тому +49

    [CLICK]
    [A HARSH WIND BLOWS AS FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL APPROACH]
    [THE ARCHIVIST SIGHS]
    [A TANNOY CRACKLES INTO LIFE PLAYING HOTEL MUZAK BEHIND HELEN’S WORDS COMING OVER THE SPEAKER]
    HELEN
    So are you going to knock or what?
    ARCHIVIST
    Perhaps I was just enjoying a quiet moment before you arrived.
    HELEN
    Yeah… Bit rude to do it on my doorstep, though, isn’t it?
    ARCHIVIST
    Perhaps. My apologies.
    HELEN
    So, where’s the old ball and chain? Surely you’re not paying me a visit on your lonesome?
    ARCHIVIST
    I am.
    [DEEP INTAKE OF BREATH]
    You gambled right.
    HELEN
    I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
    ARCHIVIST
    You hoped that by nudging us past his domain, Martin would still be there when I arrived… so I would have to pass through on my own. Apparently, you were right.
    HELEN
    I thought you said you weren’t going to look inside people’s heads?
    ARCHIVIST
    I thought you said you weren’t people.
    HELEN
    Touché.
    ARCHIVIST
    Well, for what it’s worth, I have tried not to look inside you.
    HELEN
    Oh yes?
    ARCHIVIST
    I maybe glimpse a motive, sometimes, but I try not to stare.
    HELEN
    I’m touched. Any particular reason for this monumental restraint?
    ARCHIVIST
    The same reason you don’t want Martin here. I wasn’t sure I wanted to kill you, and… you don’t want to die.
    HELEN

    He’s still so new to all of this, caught up in ideas of justice and ‘solving’ things. Sure, he can wave away the theoretical idea of people suffering…
    ARCHIVIST
    But if he sees it up close, he might try to get his boyfriend to smite you?
    HELEN
    Something like that. We’ve built up such a rapport, he and I. I’d hate to strain it over such a temporary disagreement. I’m just concerned for his happiness, you understand.
    ARCHIVIST
    Completely.
    HELEN
    I am a little bit surprised you didn’t follow him?
    ARCHIVIST
    He didn’t want me to.
    I didn’t need special powers to know that. When he crossed the threshold I had to make a choice, and -
    HELEN
    - and you chose me.
    ARCHIVIST
    Let’s say you were something of a branching path.
    HELEN
    Hm. Always the flatterer.
    So, when is he coming out the other side?
    ARCHIVIST
    It might take a while.
    HELEN
    Mmm, yeah, these quiet reflective domains sometimes do. Ah well, more time for us to hang out, I suppose. Shoot the breeze, share some hot goss…
    ARCHIVIST
    Excuse me while I try to contain my joy.
    HELEN
    You are excused. So…
    [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
    …are you coming?
    ARCHIVIST
    I thought we agreed I’m far too all-powerful to cross your threshold?
    HELEN
    Don’t flatter yourself. This isn’t some extension, some limb reaching out to snatch the wayward or the trusting. This domain, this magnificent building, is me.
    [HELEN STRETCHES AND SIGHS CONTENTEDLY AS THE BUILDING DOES LIKEWISE]
    You’re welcome here. We’ll be quite safe with you travelling through me. As long as neither of us does anything silly.
    [STATIC CRACKLE FROM THE ARCHIVIST]
    Or you could just stand there glowering. That’s fine too.
    ARCHIVIST
    I’m trying to ‘know’ if there’s another route I can take.
    HELEN
    And?
    ARCHIVIST
    Turns out there is, actually. But it is rather full of spiders.
    [STATIC FADES AND FOOTSTEPS START WALKING AWAY]
    HELEN
    Oh, don’t be such a sourpuss.
    [FOOTSTEPS STOP, FOLLOWED BY A SIGH]
    It’ll be fun. I promise.
    [AN EVEN HEAVIER SIGH FOLLOWS]
    ARCHIVIST
    Alright.
    [FOOTSTEPS ON GRAVEL UNTIL THE ARCHIVIST CROSSES HELEN’S THRESHOLD, AND THE DOOR CREAKS SHUT EERILY]
    [THE PIANO MUZAK CONTINUES AS HE ENTERS A HOTEL CORRIDOR. HELEN’S VOICE COMES FROM ALL AROUND]
    HELEN
    Oooh! [Shudders] It feels different… to last time.
    ARCHIVIST
    Different how?
    HELEN
    The tape recorder feels more, um… awake.
    ARCHIVIST
    Oh. Oh, joy. Come on.
    [STATIC RISES AGAIN AS HIS FOOTSTEPS START]
    [HELEN REACTS AS IF HAVING EATEN SOMEONE FOUL]
    HELEN
    Ooh… Eeeeeeurgh!
    ARCHIVIST
    What?
    HELEN
    Eurgh. You just - blergh… You just knew the way through, well, me. And, eurgh, it’s not a pleasant feeling. No. I do not like that. Not at all.
    ARCHIVIST
    Well, tough. I’m not going to trust you to be my guide.
    HELEN
    [Exasperated] Would it kill you?
    ARCHIVIST
    It’s killed plenty of others.
    [THE ARCHIVIST CONTINUES WALKING AS HOTEL SOUNDS ECHO AROUND]
    [THE BUILDING CREAKS AS HELEN’S VOICE CHANGES RESONANCE AGAIN]
    HELEN
    You really don’t like me, do you?
    ARCHIVIST
    No.
    HELEN
    And you never have.
    ARCHIVIST
    Not really.
    HELEN
    Even though I saved you from Michael.
    ARCHIVIST
    You were Michael.
    HELEN
    Argh. I’m The Distortion, as was Michael, but I am not him, and never have been. Surely you know all this by now, what with your shiny new eye powers?
    ARCHIVIST
    It’s not about what I know. It’s about what I feel.
    HELEN
    [Disparagingly] Oh, what do you feel?
    ARCHIVIST
    I liked Helen.
    HELEN
    I am Helen.
    ARCHIVIST
    The real one.
    HELEN

    Helen-Classic.
    ARCHIVIST
    Sure.
    HELEN
    But that doesn’t make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!
    ARCHIVIST
    True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.
    HELEN
    So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?
    ARCHIVIST
    Maybe.
    HELEN
    Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.
    ARCHIVIST
    [Sadly] I know.
    [HE CONTINUES TO WALK]
    HELEN
    For what it’s worth, I really don’t think you would have liked her. If you’d known her better, I mean.
    ARCHIVIST
    No?
    HELEN
    You haven’t looked into Helen-Classic’s past yet? You should try it. I don’t think you’ll like what you find.
    ARCHIVIST
    What? Lying to real estate clients? Bit of a prick at parties? Secret Tory?
    HELEN
    Yes.
    To all of them, actually.

    • @faxonii
      @faxonii 3 роки тому +15

      ARCHIVIST
      And that’s the problem. I could have grown to dislike her, but… you made sure that sort of thing could never happen. Now you use her form, see her mind, but they’re just… tools. Michael had nothing you could use but a razor-straight desire for vengeance, but you saw something in Helen that would work on me much more subtly. So you took her. And I’ll never get to dislike her.
      I’m stuck disliking you instead.
      HELEN
      At least I care enough to bother.
      ARCHIVIST
      That’s true, I suppose.
      [THE KNOWING STATIC RISES AGAIN]
      HELEN
      Oh. Blergh. Please stop doing that.
      ARCHIVIST
      I’ll stop doing it when I’m confident you’re taking me the right way.
      HELEN
      I am!
      [STATIC FADES]
      ARCHIVIST
      The quickest way.
      HELEN
      Eurgh. Fine.
      [THE CORRIDOORS SHIFT IN CRUNCHING WOOD AND BRICK]
      [A DOOR CREAKS OPEN]
      ARCHIVIST
      So tell me. Why are we going the long way? You just trying to keep me from meeting any victims? Or are you trying to figure out if there’s still a way you can destroy me?
      HELEN

      A bit of both, to be honest.
      ARCHIVIST
      I see. How long have you been working with Elias?
      HELEN
      I’m not.
      ARCHIVIST
      [Faux-shocked] Helen! Is that… a lie?
      HELEN
      No! No, it’s not. I don’t know him. I’ve never even - Look, I’m happy here, all right? This world is fabulous, and I don’t want you to end it all because you’ve got a chip on your shoulder.
      ARCHIVIST
      So you think I can turn the world back?
      HELEN
      I think you’re bloody minded and stubborn, and I won’t underestimate you.
      ARCHIVIST
      Thank you.
      HELEN
      And for all his bleeding heart, Martin’s just as bad. Worse, even, in some ways.
      ARCHIVIST
      [Fondly] Yes, he is.
      HELEN
      You are so difficult to like sometimes. I’ve been nothing but nice to you.
      ARCHIVIST
      Maybe that’s why I never trusted you.
      HELEN
      See? So rude.
      ARCHIVIST
      Or maybe it’s because you’re an embodiment of the fear of lies and delusion.
      HELEN
      Also rude.
      [THE ARCHIVIST MAKES A SMALL NOISE OF DISCOMFORT]
      ARCHIVIST
      Could you, uh… sorry, could you manifest a room for me? Please.
      HELEN
      Why?
      ARCHIVIST
      So I can make a statement?
      HELEN
      You do realise it’s all me, right? If I make a room, I’ll still hear you? Because I’d be the room?
      ARCHIVIST
      Fine, I just thought - never mind.
      [DEEP BREATH AS STATIC RISES]
      [HOTEL SOUNDS NOW INCLUDE FAINT PEOPLE SOUNDS AS WELL, AND THE UNDERLYING SOUNDS OF RAGGED, HURRIED BREATHS]
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      I wander through the corridors, quickly, footsteps hurrying, spurred on by the worries that chase me. What were the directions she’d said, that smiling, friendly woman in reception? Left, right, right, right, left, straight ahead, then down the stairs. No, no, no, that can’t be it because I just went left and it’s a dead end. Well, not a dead end. It’s a door that says ‘Honeymoon Suite’.
      HELEN
      [Saucy] Currently unoccupied…
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      I turn to retrace my steps. I must have taken a wrong turn.
      HELEN
      Just in case you and Martin were looking for a room.
      [DOOR KNOCKING AND RATTLING SOUNDS NOW INTERSPERSE THE STATEMENT]
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      How long… How long has Alex been alone now? On his own? Hours at least. And he’s only… Four? Five? It doesn’t matter, all that matters is I can picture his face, and he’s alone and scared without me. How could I leave my son alone in a place like this? How could I do it?
      HELEN
      Deadbeat mum. Classic.
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      None of the doors have numbers on them, no way to know if they’re mine, even if I hadn’t lost my keys. I, I bang on each in turn and shout his name. I try the handles even though my palms ache from the blisters. Wait, blisters? How many doors have I tried?
      HELEN
      [Faux-concern] Oh, I’m sure it’ll be the next one.
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      A flash of movement up ahead. It’s a woman. Do I… recognise her? She looks so friendly, with her wide, happy smile and her cheery voice. I tell her I need to find my son, I… I need to check out. Of course, of course, she tells me. She can help. She’d love nothing more than to help me, although she does hate to see me check out, it’s always so hard on her when guests leave.
      HELEN
      I like her!
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      She takes me by the arm and leads me down a narrow service staircase. As we near the bottom I hear a distant cry. Alex. I start to run, but she says no need to rush. Check-out lasts all day. That’s good to know. My arm is bleeding… When did I cut it? It’s okay, she has some bandages. I’m so lucky she’s here.
      She bandages my arm, and it starts to bleed even more. Something’s wrong here. There’s something behind her smile. I look away. The dull blue paint of the staircase is gone but… I recognise the wallpaper… Where have I seen this wallpaper before?
      HELEN
      Nowhere special.
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      The corridor? I’m - No, we were on the stairs. Did we leave? No this isn’t right, it isn’t fair. I’ve got to - Wait, where is she? She was lying. Was she? She led me here, but now she’s gone and I’m… I’m so tired. When did I sleep last? No, I-I can’t sleep, I’ve got to find my son. Just keep moving, there’s only so many rooms. He has to be in one of them. Just push on, even if you have to check them all.
      Ignore the blood you’re dripping on the carpet. Ignore the mirrors that try to tell you how haggard you’re growing. Ignore the laughter and the smiling and the chatter that has followed you since the reception. When did you go to reception? You can’t picture it.
      HELEN
      Shame, it’s very tasteful. There’s ferns.
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      Wait. What is that? That sound. It’s… It’s not her, not just her. There’s someone else. A man’s voice, you think. Droning on, and rising and falling as he talks and talks and talks…
      [STATIC RISES AGAIN]
      HELEN
      Ah… Ah.
      ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
      Up there, just around the corner. I can hear them. I can hear them. There!
      VICTIM
      Oh, oh thank god! Please, do you know where room 288 is? I… My son, he’s, I don’t know how long he’s been in there on his own, and I need to find him -
      ARCHIVIST
      Look, I’m so sorry. But… there is no room 288.
      VICTIM
      But my son!
      [HELEN MANIFESTS, SMILINGLY]
      HELEN
      - Is around here somewhere. Come on, let’s have a look together!
      VICTIM
      Oh, brilliant, oh thank you, thank you so much!
      HELEN
      Now, where did you see him last?
      VICTIM
      Uh, okay. It was… it was room… wait, wait hang on.
      ARCHIVIST
      She’s lying to you. She isn’t your friend.
      VICTIM
      I… wait. I, I know you. You’re that woman from reception.
      HELEN
      John, this isn’t your business.
      VICTIM
      You were laughing! You were laughing when I got lost.
      HELEN
      Listen, John, I don’t come up and tell you how to pull horror from people’s brains, do I?
      [THE VICTIM IS TALKED OVER AS HELEN AND THE ARCHIVIST ARGUE]
      VICTIM
      Please, please, I need… I need some directions.
      ARCHIVIST
      You do, a bit, actually, yes.
      VICTIM
      This place, it’s such a maze…
      HELEN
      Well, okay, that’s… that’s fair.
      VICTIM
      I don’t know how long I’ve been here.
      ARCHIVIST
      Look. I’m so sorry -
      VICTIM
      You’ve got to help me!
      ARCHIVIST
      [Angrily] Don’t touch me!
      [THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]
      HELEN
      Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?
      VICTIM
      [Pleadingly] I’m sorry… It’s just my son…
      ARCHIVIST
      I could make her an avatar.
      HELEN
      Huh…
      [THE CORRIDOORS SHIFT]
      Hmmm. Best not.
      [A DOOR SLAMS. ONE LAST CRY FROM THE VICTIM AS SHE VANISHES, ALONG WITH HELEN]

    • @faxonii
      @faxonii 3 роки тому +22

      ARCHIVIST
      Sending her away? I must have hit a nerve.
      [HELEN’S VOICE RETURNS TO BEING EVERYWHERE]
      HELEN
      Got on my nerves. Not the same thing.
      ARCHIVIST
      If you say so.
      HELEN

      So, what happens now?
      ARCHIVIST
      You mean, did the sight of a poor, innocent wretch suffering by your hand convince me that you need to be destroyed?
      HELEN
      Pretty much.
      ARCHIVIST
      No.
      You were right. It probably was something that would have convinced Martin it needed to be done.
      HELEN
      But…
      ARCHIVIST
      But I already knew what I would see in here. I already knew what I had to do.
      HELEN
      Because you’ve grown so fond of your old pal Helen? Or because… you were already going to destroy me?

      I see.
      ARCHIVIST
      I was hoping I was wrong about you.
      HELEN
      You’ve always known what I am.
      ARCHIVIST
      Yes. But I’m only recently realising just how dangerous you are.
      HELEN
      Of course I’m dangerous, John. I’m a monster, just like you. and you can’t kill all of us.
      ARCHIVIST
      No. You’re dangerous because for all the torture and cruelty, you still somehow got us to think you’re our friend.
      HELEN
      I am your friend.
      ARCHIVIST
      No. You’re not. That’s just what you distort. It’s why you spin, but you never quite lie. The corridors, the warped body, it’s all just set dressing, isn’t it? It’s not the reality of what you actually are.
      HELEN
      And what, actually, am I?
      ARCHIVIST
      You’re a question.
      HELEN
      “What lurks behind the door?”
      ARCHIVIST
      To some. But that would be The Stranger or The Dark. No, you are the question of “What lurks behind a smile?” Is a friendship true, or is it reaching out with hands that cut you?
      HELEN
      Oh, I see. Very good.
      ARCHIVIST
      Even I didn’t see it properly, not at first. Not until the tunnels, when you wouldn’t help. When you laughed.
      HELEN
      Oh, come on. That wasn’t a deception, that was barely a betrayal!
      ARCHIVIST
      You worked to hurt us and help us, all with the same smile, until we can barely tell one from the other. Keeping us off-balance, constantly second-guessing our own opinions of you. Never quite crossing a line we could never forgive, but never putting yourself on the line either. And when one face finally stopped smiling, you just changed the face.
      HELEN
      Fine. So if that’s all true… why? Why would I do any of that? What’s my actual motive?
      ARCHIVIST
      I don’t think you even have one. It’s just what you are.
      HELEN
      Oh, well done. Very poetic.
      ARCHIVIST
      But none of that actually matters. What matters is that you want the world to stay as it is. And I don’t know if we can change it back, but if there is any possibility, you will try and stop us. And when you do, I can’t think of anyone more dangerous.
      HELEN
      Oh, give over! You’re the most powerful thing in the world. [Placatingly] What could I possibly do?
      ARCHIVIST
      It’s not me I’m worried about.
      HELEN
      Eurgh, fine. I thought this might happen.
      ARCHIVIST
      Ceaseless Watch- aargh!
      [CREAKING AS THE CORRIDOORS FLEX AND CONSTRICT]
      HELEN
      Want to try that again?
      ARCHIVIST
      Ceasel-
      [MORE FLEXING]
      HELEN
      [Darkly] You are inside my domain now, Archivist. I can shift any part of myself to any corner of this wonderful hell you have built for us. By the time the Eye focuses on me, I’m already somewhere new, something new.
      [DOORS OPEN]
      ARCHIVIST
      Ceaseless -
      [ANOTHING WARNING SHIFT]
      HELEN
      Whoopsie!
      ARCHIVIST
      You can’t do this forever!
      HELEN
      In this brave new world? I’m afraid I very much can.
      ARCHIVIST
      You can’t kill me, though. You’re just stalling.
      HELEN
      True. But hopefully I can stall long enough that any of your little gang that can die, have done so. By the time I let you out, you’ll have nobody else.
      ARCHIVIST

      I will end you.
      [SILENCE BUT FOR SOME CREAKING]
      What, nothing? No smirk? A laugh? I’ve got you rattled.
      HELEN
      I’m not scared of you.
      ARCHIVIST
      Helen… Was that… a lie?
      HELEN
      [Too quickly] No!
      ARCHIVIST
      A lie. A genuine untruth. Like a little bit of loose thread, flitting in the breeze.
      HELEN
      Fine. You can go.
      [SHIFTING, AND A NEW DOOR OPENS]
      There’s the door. Just go!
      ARCHIVIST
      Ceaseless Watcher!
      HELEN
      No!
      [THROUGH THE INCANTATION, THE HARSH BUZZ OF STATIC MINGLES WITH CREAKING WOODWORK AND CRUMBLING CRICK]
      ARCHIVIST
      See this lie, this golden strand of falsehood. Take it in your gaze and pull it, follow through its curves and twists and knots as it unravels all before you.
      HELEN (BACKGROUND)
      No. No! No! No, Archivist! Stop! John, it’s me, it’s Helen. It’s me. I’ve always been your friend. Don’t do this to me. I have always helped you. I have always helped you and lent you doors. Think of all that I have done for you. If you do this, everyone inside me is dead!
      ARCHIVIST
      Unweave it now, its fear and its falsehood, its hidden teeth and the ones it wears so proudly.
      HELEN (BACKGROUND)
      You’re no different - You are no different from me! You can’t save anyone!
      ARCHIVIST
      Take all that it is and all that it has. It is yours!
      HELEN
      No! NOOOOOO!
      [HELEN’S VOICE IS STRETCHED AND VANISHED]
      [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF DISTORTED DEMOLITION]
      ARCHIVIST
      Urgh!
      [A STRANGE SOUND RINGS OUT AS THE ARCHIVIST REAPPEARS IN THE WASTELAND]
      MARTIN
      Christ, John!
      ARCHIVIST
      [Groggy] Oh, Martin! Good.
      MARTIN
      Wh- Wh-wh-what… What happened? Th-th-there was the hotel and then…
      ARCHIVIST
      I, um… I killed Helen.
      MARTIN
      Oh.
      Why?
      ARCHIVIST
      Long story. Ish. I’ll explain later.
      MARTIN
      Alright. And you couldn’t wait until you were outside?
      ARCHIVIST
      Not really.
      MARTIN
      Fair enough.
      ARCHIVIST
      How are you? How was… your domain?
      MARTIN
      Oh. Well. I mean, it feels sort of underwhelming now, to be honest. Er, more of a gentle journey of self-discovery, really. I-I didn’t realise I’m quite so… argumentative.
      ARCHIVIST
      I mean…
      MARTIN
      Y-y-you don’t need to comment.
      ARCHIVIST
      Alright.
      MARTIN
      So…
      Helen’s gone, then?
      ARCHIVIST
      Yeah.
      [FOOTSTEPS SQUELCH AS THEY PICK THEIR WAY FORWARD]
      MARTIN
      Damn.
      ARCHIVIST
      Yeah.
      MARTIN
      Time to mourn?
      ARCHIVIST
      You can if you want.

      Do you? Want to mourn?
      MARTIN

      A bit, I guess. I-I mean, she was our friend. Sort of. A bit. Until you killed her. Which I’m sure you had to do.
      ARCHIVIST
      Take some time if you need. But not too long.
      MARTIN
      Why the sudden rush?
      ARCHIVIST
      You see that over there?
      MARTIN
      Yeah?
      ARCHIVIST
      That’s London.
      [CLICK]

    • @DungeonMistressC
      @DungeonMistressC 3 роки тому +3

      Thank you!

  • @aeternusvotum
    @aeternusvotum 2 роки тому +9

    Oh my, what an episode. It made me realize that while I'm aligning with the Lonely the most and might even find comfort there, I'd absolutely be a victim of the Distortion. I thought it would be the Stranger, but this episode showed me it totally is the Distortion. Loved Michael/Helen as characters though!

  • @liaml.e.5964
    @liaml.e.5964 3 місяці тому +4

    "Just because you see a smile doesn't mean you know what's going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool my dear, it inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures no matter what comes your way, you are in control."
    -Alastor, Hazbin Hotel-

  • @willowarkan2263
    @willowarkan2263 Місяць тому +4

    Poor Helen, girlbossed too close to the eye-sun

  • @_kai2702
    @_kai2702 3 роки тому +19

    helen ;-;
    i loved michael and i grew to like helen. she was well written and rightfully evil but i hate to see her go :c

  • @cassiemoyles4177
    @cassiemoyles4177 Рік тому +11

    Helen's commentary is hilarious

  • @stopprocrastinating4181
    @stopprocrastinating4181 Рік тому +7

    helen really sucedeed in her plans bc i really liked her

  • @thebumblebeemovie3514
    @thebumblebeemovie3514 7 місяців тому +4

    You know I wish he DID make that poor victim an avatar. It would’ve been really interesting to see a new character (one that can’t really betray the gang). Plus, I feel bad for her and wish she made it out (I’m a softie deal with it).

    • @krishadyn5211
      @krishadyn5211 6 місяців тому +2

      Yeah. :( But I suspect that her child didn't exist. Ever. The Spiral is that kind of place.

  • @BeautifulEarthJa
    @BeautifulEarthJa 2 роки тому +12

    Helen is a delight....except secret tory :(

  • @toby4305
    @toby4305 2 роки тому +15

    Damn imagine your son keeps telling you to fuck this girl up but everywhere he points there's nothing

  • @Drak_buddy
    @Drak_buddy Рік тому +7

    Helens commentary and Jon not wanting to be touched Stan him

  • @CirisPaint
    @CirisPaint 4 місяці тому +5

    NOOOOOO GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS DOOR WIFE AUGH MY HEART

  • @Ares_Complex
    @Ares_Complex 2 роки тому +6

    YES SPOOKY ARCHIVIST I LOVE HIM LIKE THAT

  • @darwi_briste4624
    @darwi_briste4624 Рік тому +5

    Helen epitomizes the worst sort of friend.

  • @lonewaffle231
    @lonewaffle231 2 роки тому +3

    No, Helen, what a shame. I almost though this could go somewhere

  • @dandeliondaffodyls1426
    @dandeliondaffodyls1426 2 роки тому +10

    There's ferns

  • @BrailSays
    @BrailSays 3 роки тому +8

    Does this mean the beautiful corridors are gone forever? D: nooo

  • @meeeg7029
    @meeeg7029 3 місяці тому +3

    they killed my favorite character AGAIN? and its the same character!!

  • @wakipaki7381
    @wakipaki7381 3 роки тому +60

    You know, I'd have loved it if someone actually flirted or tried to seduce "Helen." I mean avatars are all about their fears, but some are still people enough to enjoy a warm bed companion. I could see the bad pickup lines;
    "Why hello, Helen. Tell me, would you like someone to *explore* your narrow corridor? Does it lead out somewhere?"

    • @angelaphsiao
      @angelaphsiao 3 роки тому +28

      I wouldn't even blame Helen if she decided to door someone who tried to pull that one on her

    • @lexa2310
      @lexa2310 3 роки тому +43

      Potential Pick-up lines:
      Vast:
      "Did it hurt when you fell from the sky? "
      Or
      "Do you happen to have a Band-Aid? ‘Cause I scraped my knees falling for you."
      Or
      "I swear someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes."
      Buried:
      "Being around you takes my breath away. "
      Flesh:
      "Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?"
      Or
      "I’m not currently an organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart."
      Desolation:
      "You know, I had a pickup line ready to go, but you’re so hot it just left my mind."
      Beholding:
      "There must be something wrong with my eyes-I can’t seem to take them off of you."
      Lonely:
      "You must be a magician, because every time I'm near you, everyone else seems to disappear."
      Corruption:
      "Are you a fungus? Because you have been growing on me more and more."
      Or
      "You must be contagious because I think I just caught feelings for you."
      Dark:
      "Are you made up of dark matter?
      Cause you are indescribable."
      ...
      ...
      Jon:
      "If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine of my lives with you."

    • @louagusti7320
      @louagusti7320 3 роки тому +16

      @@lexa2310 wtf these are all so good, now i want entities-themed valentines day cards :(

    • @azulBjort_1406
      @azulBjort_1406 3 роки тому +3

      @@lexa2310 these are all wonderful

  • @fairy8205
    @fairy8205 Рік тому +5

    i usually text my friend about whats happrnkng in tma as i listen and today they were greeted with
    "NO JONS GONNA SMITE HELEN
    NO
    NOOO
    JON PLEASEE
    HELEN
    😭😭😭😭😭😭
    NOOOOOOO
    helen is dead...........,..,.,. ☹️☹️☹️☹️😭"

  • @ramq0675
    @ramq0675 3 місяці тому +1

    The ending to this episode feels like your best friend moved away and your friends start revealing to you how toxic and manipulative they were. And the worst part is that they're right. I'm so distraught. Gods, I love this podcast
    Also still related but when they killed Michael I was in disbelief, and now that they’ve killed Helen I'm just distraught

  • @AlexPinna531
    @AlexPinna531 7 місяців тому +2

    Off topic, but is it just me that imagines Elias/Jonah being on top of the Barad-dur from lord of the rings, and the ceaseless watcher is just sauron, and Elias has a little room where he drinks tea and watches everything getting slightly more nervous when John gets closer

  • @cezar3169
    @cezar3169 3 роки тому +21

    why didnt jon want to be touched by the victim?

    • @bridgetb.7965
      @bridgetb.7965 3 роки тому +69

      i mean, pretty sure it's the previous 4 seasons worth of being repeatedly traumatized deeply enough to be considered to be marked by the 14 fears? i think especially between being kidnapped by daisy and brought out to the woods so she could slit his throat, and being kidnapped by nikola and spending a month tied to a chair being moisturized by manikins, it makes complete sense that he'd be really touch adverse.

    • @cezar3169
      @cezar3169 3 роки тому +18

      @@bridgetb.7965 that makes a lot of sense, thanks. Makes me sympathise with jon even more

    • @azulBjort_1406
      @azulBjort_1406 3 роки тому +11

      @@cezar3169 also remember when Melanie stabbed his shoulder when he was getting the ghost bullet out if her knee

  • @erikluis1476
    @erikluis1476 2 роки тому +8

    *SPOILERS*
    Damn door wife died? Rip queen 🪦

  • @WorldThatNeverWas08
    @WorldThatNeverWas08 2 місяці тому +2

    Rest in Peace Hotel California Wife 😔 You were a real one (or not...)

  • @elizaflamingo3009
    @elizaflamingo3009 3 роки тому +5

    Favourite season 5 episode let’s goooooo

  • @lunasolem0
    @lunasolem0 3 місяці тому +1

    Of course the Distortion just had to steal my mind twice with Michael and Helen and then PROCEED TO DIE TWICE 😢 RIP Helen... all the good things have to be ended....

  • @ЕриетиХадзимихаил

    Wow. That was.. wow. I never really thought of the distortion. I just thought of it as "Michal" and i really liked him and after him "Helen" who i also liked in the beginning so i just didn't question it but now hearing Jon say all that i am just left speechless

  • @isamekailmahmud9302
    @isamekailmahmud9302 3 роки тому +8

    3:45 that sounded... Wrong

  • @roachno.24
    @roachno.24 6 днів тому

    love hellens running commentary during the statement. i will miss her

  • @Cieges
    @Cieges 2 роки тому +4

    Helen😭 good bye you absolute chaos

  • @Companion92
    @Companion92 3 роки тому +9

    Bye Helen. You were horrible but really fun

  • @TheCrimebaby
    @TheCrimebaby 2 роки тому +4

    Nooooo, Helen D:

  • @wonderwhatsgonnahappen579
    @wonderwhatsgonnahappen579 5 місяців тому +2

    If you really think about it...
    Helen never really had anyone to connect with....not even when she got taken and became "Helen Distortion"
    She died alone 😔
    Rip Helen Richardson

  • @nateds7326
    @nateds7326 3 роки тому +10

    Hey this is one of my first time watching on e of these things with the comments of everyone else. You guys actually liked Helen? Seriosuly?

    • @ThyLavenderMenace
      @ThyLavenderMenace 2 роки тому +19

      as a "person"? fuck no. as a character? absolutely! she was phenomenally written and very entertaining to listen to

    • @krishadyn5211
      @krishadyn5211 6 місяців тому

      People care about the villains as entertainment. They were also gullible enough to believe the monster wearing Helen's face was the real her. Once you're attached, you make excuses.
      I never liked her. I've spent too much time listening to fakers and you know them by their deeds. The Distortion was the person who'd cheer you on to do something stupid, then abandon you, later showing up to laugh and be abusive if you held them responsible. As Helen!Distortion did. It was always the enemy sabotaging, and it killed the real Helen, whom I liked even if she was boring.

  • @thatonegirl3391
    @thatonegirl3391 5 місяців тому

    Helens hallways in this one were really giving off Stanley Parable vibes for me

  • @Ash_6614
    @Ash_6614 11 місяців тому +2

    damn i was just warming up to helen after loving michael

  • @novae9962
    @novae9962 Рік тому +5

    RIP Helen. You were a queen and an amazingly written character. Fuck you Jon, she was so much fun and deserved to live. This why we can't have nice things, Jon. Anyways, I'm crying now. Thank you Helen for supporting Fern Creature's business, I'm sure the reception was lovely.

    • @krishadyn5211
      @krishadyn5211 6 місяців тому

      The real Helen deserved to live, not the liar that puppeted her face. Even if she was a secret Tory.

  • @juliapazosmaidana2929
    @juliapazosmaidana2929 3 роки тому +3

    I do feel Helen really likes Jon~ I like it

    • @Eileen-d1i
      @Eileen-d1i 26 днів тому

      NOT IN A LOVE WAY THOUGH?!!!!?!?!???!??