How to be there for a traumatized friend and not cause more pain | Kristen Donnelly | TEDxChicago
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- Опубліковано 11 вер 2024
- How do you respond when someone shares their pain and despair of trauma with you? Common practices are to minimize the trauma or offer comparison. Although well meaning, Kristen Donnelly suggests that these responses can cause similar pain to the trauma itself. A social worker and researcher, Dr. Donnelly invites the audience to consider a different way to respond when encountering someone experiencing trauma. Dr Kristen Donnelly is a social worker who has studied trauma for nearly twenty years, including studying conflict zones in Rwanda, Colombia, South Africa, and Northern Ireland. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
"Be kind, for everyone you meet has scars from battles that they have fought, is in training for battles they will fight and don't know about yet, and do not need you to tell them that those battles aren't valid." 🥺❤Thanks for bringing this concept to light in the most heart touching & educational manner as always. Respect & Love from Sri Lanka 🫡❤
"If trauma is part of human experience,we've got to make healing part of it as well" - Kristen Donelly.
That phrase is just....wow.
I am proud to say that I did the Arabic translation. Hope the Arab world enjoys it.
Thank you so much for your service. I am so glad this will have reach beyond my language limitations. - Dr. Kristen
Good. Information about encouraging traumatized friends the RIGHT way needs to be spread as far as possible
My Friend have suffered from a SA trauma and I don't know how to help him feel better and come back to life. be a happy person again. it has been one month. and he is still feeling same and tell me he can not forget it, it is still like it was yesterday, I am on long distance and can not visit him because of Visa problem and idk how I can help him forget it. I hope this helps me to treat his trauma, and bring joy and happiness back in his life. I wish all of you quick recovery.
Try to get him to go into EMDR therapy? Or some other trauma therapy if available. But only if he wants to.
Jesus christ thank you so much for putting all I've been trying to say for so many years in a good light... Thank you thank you thank you
Beautiful. I’m trying to help my son thru trauma, he has an appt for therapy but at least I can try to be the best listener and mom I can be because he talks to me.
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This is so powerful and means so much to me. Thank you, Dr. Donnelly, for the work you do.
Thank you so much, Jacqueline! - Dr Kristen
You’ve definitely done your research, Kristen. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss you shared with everyone at this talk. You’re not the only one who’s been attacked in such a manner. You’ve grown, and I hope you’ve had an opportunity to heal as well. ❤
Great insight and approach to help us be more empathetic to others ❤ thank you!
But what if I have inadvertantly triggered another person's trauma response? I didn't know. I wasn't even unkind. I simply didn't know that an ordinary activity could hurt him. He didn't tell me. What can I do now?
I found that the regusal of some people around to not recognize my trauma's caused a whole new trauma.
That happened to me 2 years ago. I want to approach those people and talk about it. The ghosters are a hopeless case. The others are dismissive or hardly available. But I think I can. Though I'm stuck on if I should. Mainly for their sakes, and mental health. I used to love these people very deeply.
This speech is really impressive.
Thank you so much! - Dr Kristen
My bff had lost his dad recently 😢
I'm speechless and paralyzed
Honestly when someone gets closer to me my family keeps telling them lies about my life and everything about me 👇👍 thanks family!!!
Amazing talk! I will make it work on an instagram graphic Kristen!
I'll ask a simple question. Do you think you can traumatize someone when you've been told over and over to stop and you keep doing it for years and years, do you think a little sorry can make all the effects and torment go away?
So what in the world was she doing/saying to those children for that church to build a case against her for a year?? It must have been something because they don't even treat pedophilic priests like that
I kindly want to respond with not allowing someones truth be theres, not being believed. This is the very essences of what she was sharing is important and why possibly friends and others in this world will struggle on their own. I let a church know one of their pastors was being inappropriate and he got me fired and they finally caught him a year later, and then fired. No apology nothing. I had been there 8 years and this young pastor had just joined the staff and I had stellar reviews. I was not believed so I kept my mouth shut after I brought light as to be able no be treated any worse than I had by this mans lies to those I had worked with almost a decade. A man believed over a woman. However, I rarely share this but please note this is why people suffer and do not usually get help from trauma because of this reaction. Just food for thought. To be honest I may of agreed with your response 20 years ago. Maybe think about what this person is actually saying, would you have received this message or heard it differently if she did not shared this story, her story. This is all said in kindness and food for thought as to help those who have experienced trauma that may cross your path.
There was a vendetta created against her for sure. I also was constantly blamed for things in my toxic work environment. I quit my almost 10 yr job because of it.
In the name of Jesus, I pray to never have to repeat the traumatic experiences I have endured. People don't care about your traumas. Don't listen when you tell them about it. Just leave you to deal with it as they keep on overlooking it or fail to acknowledge it's effect on you..😡😡😡😡