My parents spanked, we are Jewish,as the oldest I sometimes got blamed for something I did not do. When I was 11 or 12, I was molested by a 16 year boy. I didn't tell my parents because of the fear of being blamed. So, I didn't spank my daughters. I wanted them to feel like they could come to me about anything.
This is a very different outlook than Christian parents (especially protestants). I respect and even prefer the Jewish outlook and understanding on this! You are always so respectful and express your views with such grace!
This is the most important video I’ve viewed in forever. There are more than a few people that should hear your words! Yes, parenting should be a loving relationship; I might add that if we don’t make it a goal that kids believe we are always “right” then we encourage them to think critically and more independently. Possibly the most valuable skill we can teach them.
I am a conservative Jewish woman who raised a son who is now in his 40’s. We had a “time out” chair. When he needed to be punished he spent maybe 20 seconds there. Then he got kisses and hugs. When he was old enough to understand more, I told him to go sit there and think about why he was there. Then he would get kisses and hugs. When he was older he would go to his room, and after the five minutes or so, he would come out and I would tell him I didn’t like his behavior when he did X, but I loved him. When he was in his teens, I told him I was his parent, not his friend, and it was my (dad left much of the discipline to me) responsibility to be just that. Yes, he had his teenage rebellion. That sucked for everyone. But by his mid 20’s he realized that we were right and told my mother this one day during a visit. He has 2 little ones now, and he and my DIL, who is not Jewish, seem to be doing it my way. I have my grandchildren here all the time, and I would know if they were being hit in any way. They have a timeout chair here (I have done all their childcare since they were infants), and I do exactly what I did way back when. My DIL has told me I am the best MIL she could have asked for, and the best grandmother she could have gotten for her children. Every Friday I do Shabbat on FaceTime with them. They have a fresh, homemade challah on their table. Now I am teaching them the aleph bet song, and a few Hebrew words. My DIL is supportive of my efforts. Everything said in this video is true and sound. Hopefully you have changed some minds today. BTW, I am here because I want to know what’s going on with young Jewish moms today. That will help me with my grandchildren, as for now I am the source of their Jewish life.
Corporal punishments are a major problem. There may be a difference between spanking and restricting or beating and confining or is there? It shows a lack of respect for the child as a child of God and a locus of rights. It is further, like war, a failure of other human endeavors, behaviors available to us to teach, guide, discipline, prepare children for life. You did a beautiful job of explaining this within the context of faith, scripture, Jewish culture.
I whole heartedly agree with your philosophy! I truly love everything you said and believe many will be blessed by what you shared! May God bless you and your family!
I got so emotional when you described how a goal of yours is to allow your son to express his feelings rather than being right as a parent. Thank you for sharing.
I don't question your experience, but most of my friends came from a very Jewish area in North London (England) and as far as I remember, ALL my friends there were spanked... some more, some less, but spanking was not only common, but regarded as something totally normal.
Either though I am not a parent I really appreciated the words that you are speaking in this specific video. Mayim Bialik has done many great videos relating to parenting since she is a parent herself. Mayim is a great, really intelligent and entertaining communicator and I really enjoy listening to her thoughts on certain topics such as parenting. Thank you so much for posting this great and enjoyable video. I love watching your videos Marion!
I think you’ll find that many Safaradi families do smack their kids. My mother is Moroccan and all of my aunts & my mother gave us all lots of “Makot” and I have Safardi friends who were quoted from the bible “he who doesn’t hit his child hates his child” I don’t know it in Hebrew, sorry. BTW, I don’t smack my own kids, I grew up in London amongst Ashkenazim
Thank you so much for making this. My husband is not Jewish and I am, and he grew up with spanking as punishment and I did not. We have a 3 year old that is being raised Jewish and I have been trying to help him understand why this isn’t an effective or appropriate means of showing her we don’t like how she is behaving. It’s been a hot topic in my house lately. I am going to send this video to him to help him understand my belief system. You put it into words I struggle to find. Thank you so so much! 💕
As someone who is really looking forward to parenthood in the far future, I really like these types of video. I think your philosophy is wonderful and you sound like you're really raising your kids in a happy loving home 💘
You explained (thoughtfully) how I feel in regards to parenting and my opposition to hitting. >>> You said it much more calmly than I would - ha! My version would be something like ... The only thing you teach your child, through hitting, is that you are intolerant, impatient and lack the basic skill set needed to be a good person - never mind a good parent (see how you were much better at explaining it :) My parents never physically hurt me but there was a lot of belittling and insults (mental abuse) that still haunt me today. And, to be honest, hurtful words easily come out of my mouth as a result. I think when we parent our children we are also parenting the child that resides inside of us (that's why many of us turn to reactive parenting). This is the time to change the course of events and give our children the childhood we all deserved. 😊 PS I love the paint color behind you. Do you happen to know what it is? 🙂
That is such a good point! I think so many of us have inner child trauma from the way we were brought up and it can be very hard to not react from that place of hurt when we get frustrated ourselves.
Thank you for sharing! It's so true that as parents we have the power to break down our triggers (that we often don't even notice until our children do something) and change the narrative of generations
@@MyJewishMommyLife I think most parents who say "I was hit as a child and it didn't do any harm to me" sadly have no idea of the trauma they hold onto. We are all victims, or victors, of our environment 😊
Marion, has the type of mindful parenting you describe been the norm in most American Jewish families over the last few generations, say from the 1950s until now? Or has it evolved over the years from stricter approaches to parenting in previous generations of Jewish families?
Love this question!! It has definitely evolved! In the 1950s most jewish parents were Holocaust survivors and grew up with trauma and in a poverty so that definitely affected things. I would say American jewish parents tend to be progressive and interested in modern child psychology etc.
@@MyJewishMommyLife I think it is very important for children to grow up in a family where they are allowed to express anger and frustration with their parents and to learn to stand up for themselves, all in a respectful way. They also need to be taught how that is done by using age-appropriate examples. Parents also need to remember that children are always observing how their parents deal with anger issues between themselves. If feelings of that nature are suppressed at home or met with punishment, how are children ever going to develop healthy conflict resolution skills to deal with society at large? There's a fine line between being an authority figure and an authoritarian with your child.
@@vivianpowell1732 It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
Question. If a child even at six years old, refuses to brush their teeth after being told, what does one do about this? This has happened actually tonight and my husband forced her to brush her teeth by being the one who held the toothbrush and put it in her mouth while she was fighting the whole time to me this is more traumatic and doesn’t really solve any problems. I think she got mad at hearing the words “OK it’s time to brush your teeth“. Is it possible that I should just talk to her at this age and say OK I’m giving you the responsibility to take care of your own teeth without being told so that gives her some power and choices. I hope you see this because I would really like to hear your opinion on this idea.
Love this. I have nieces and nephews, but no kids of my own. I want to be a conscious Aunt just like what you are talking about in this episode. Thanks for the content.
I am a Christian and I love to hear you talk. We have a lot of similarities and I love how you explain. I have a special place in my heart for Israel. I make your shabbat bread recipe all the time. I love to learn about Jewish history and people. ✡🇮🇱🇺🇸
Wow, thank you for this. I was convinced a long time ago that spanking was ok to do as long as you weren’t angry when doing it. I admit I did spank my son twice and I absolutely hated doing it - I see now that there are some lingering effects - he’s 15 and I feel like he hides from me when he used to tell me everything. Thank you so much, God has used you in so many ways to help me see more truth. Shalom and blessings.
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
Excellent video! I’m a Christian and we use a mixture of the gentle and conscious parenting models. I was in a bible study once where these women were using THAT VERSE to validate beating, I mean “lovingly correcting” their children. I made my case and walked out. Apparently I’m a crazy extremist…
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
Honest question here; how do you go about implementing this type of attitude when a child has already been exposed to hitting because they’ve been hit and how do you suggest correcting these types of behaviors?
How do you respond/not get defensive if the child is saying you're hurting their feelings, but they feel that way because they're not getting their way (e.g., not getting a cookie, not getting more screen time, not getting a toy they want, etc.)?
I just try to stay calm and to know that if they are dis-regulated it doesn't matter what they're saying in the moment they first need to calm down and feel loved, then later on when we are calm and happy again we talk about using kind words etc.
I love this well said I know some in Christianity Have misunderstood Spare the rod spoil The child I always thought no Spare the rod Was to Gentle Guide the sheep Not hit them lol Another verse is my rod comforts me Not harms Or the sheep especially our precious children Or anyone lol Ty great video ❤
Ok this is an interesting topic. I am Asian and not to generalize here but we spank often. Sometimes even harshly, although that is fading with each generation. But our main goal and highest value is obedience and devotion to the family. I think both groups in general raise good productive adults. But with very different parenting practices. I remember one Asian veteran mom telling me if I had to ere on the too lenient or too harsh side, always choose the too harsh. A well disciplined respectful child will grow to understand the reasoning for the discipline. In Asian culture father us the master or teacher. Even with non spanking ways , Asian children are well disciplined. Everyone knows about academic tiger parenting but there are other things less obvious. For example, even though we are upper middle class, my son is required to work in the Donjang six to eight hours a week for no pay. To learn to work, to be disciplined, and to serve his master. I know college kids that can’t seem to even find a summer job or internship. My son will always know what it ,eans to work a no when he is ready for paid employment, he will be a good worker. Not saying one parenting philosophy os better than the other. Both raise strong academic students, responsible adults, and devoted children.
I think culture plays a huge role here, it's a very important point. If "everyone" around you has certain cultural practices like a value of obedience it can be helpful to make sure your kids also know how to be obedient, I think the important thing is that the parent isn't reacting in anger or frustration etc.
@@MyJewishMommyLife of course. And I think even Asian parenting is lightening up. But my parents generation was crazy abusive and I think we are just strict. I saw this Disney plus short where this Asian family allows his young son to act in traditional feminine ways, ballet, pink dolls, etc. I don’t think Asian culture has come that far outside Hollywood. But yes, even in America, Asian parents are trying to change a bit to western styles.
I love this channel and I also love your take on spanking within Judaism. Sadly, though, I have to disagree that there is never spanking within the Jewish community. There was, but the children that it was happening to probably weren't talking about it. I was one such child. It also developed later on into more serious physical abuse. I'm just saying that just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen. It was probably more common than you think.
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
You are so right. They are just “little” human beings instead of “big” human beings . My philosophy is that I don’t want to be hit and they don’t want to be hit either! In addition because they are little, nine times out of ten they don’t understand why they were spanked. Just try to imagine what horror you are putting inside their little hearts because in my opinion they are wondering what you are going to do to them next. Don’t you remember when you were little and something happened that scared you and your little heart was racing so fast because you needed comforting from your parents not fearing them . My boys are 45 and 50 and we agreed that we would not spank but instead would practice patience, teaching and respect. People thought we were crazy when we said that above everything else if you would show them respect that they would never disappoint and they didn’t.
Love this video. I was raised in an atheist family but my parents had very similar views to this about discipline. We never did time outs or anything either- we did “thinking time” about how our actions had affected other people. One of my worst memories as a little kid was when I walked on my sisters puzzle and the babysitter put me on a time out for an HOUR. I was like 4, it was horrible and so contrary to what I was used to. Loved the video!
When I was a small boy I ate a grape from the shelf in a shop, my grandmother smacked me for stealing; years later most of my friends were shoplifting and breaking in places, I never did as I had been corrected by my grandmother..,,,, Some of my friends ended up in prison in England
It’s a great question! Of course I couldn’t really stop them if they wanted to do something so it doesn’t really matter but I would jus support and love them and encourage them to follow their heart. I hope Judaism is a big part of their adult life but I understand if for whatever reason that doesn’t happen.
Same. Both of my parents are Jewish. My mom reform, my dad orthodox, and they met in the middle practicing conservative until I was about 8 and then moved to a reform temple. I was spanked heavily by both. It never occurred to me that it was against Judaism to do so. I vowed never to spank my own kids and I didn’t, snd taught my husband gentle discipline methods that I had learned. We managed to raise them to adulthood without ever spanking them and they turned out pretty good. It brings me comfort to know that this is backed up by Judaism.
I am telling you it's not abuse to correct your child! Unfortunately in an imperfect world their are a lot of parents whom are not too invested in spiritual truths and need growth more than their kids! Assuming you truly have the Torah yourself I do not know what kind of child you think you are going to raise but believe me if they figured out you are not going to do anything about their moral infractions they will walk all over you on the understanding they can shame you into thinking you are enacting abusive behavior or are acting like you are ignorant or stupid for disciplining them! First moral/love recommendation: Be sure you are right in wisdom/God! Next if you are from the law now as an elder rule with a rod of iron and love that kid enough to break them as their conduct does in fact effect the Holy spirit!
We love your show! But have to differ on this. What you’re teaching is neither Historic Judaism nor Torah, but is modern, “enlightened”, Secular Philosophy. You are entitled to your parenting choices. But it is highly cruel to demonize others that differ as “abusers”. “Hitting” and overly controlling or even striking out in anger is entirely differently than a logical and loving, occasional use of force to teach children self-discipline, which should be the actual goal of any “parenting” technique! “Proverbs 29:15 A rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left free brings shame to his mother
In the Scriptures it says train up a child in the way they should go and when they grow old and depart they will come back!!! Spare the rod spoil the child!!! All four of my sons were disciplined according to the holy Scriptures!!! 🌈✝️🌈
My parents spanked, we are Jewish,as the oldest I sometimes got blamed for something I did not do. When I was 11 or 12, I was molested by a 16 year boy. I didn't tell my parents because of the fear of being blamed. So, I didn't spank my daughters. I wanted them to feel like they could come to me about anything.
This is a very different outlook than Christian parents (especially protestants). I respect and even prefer the Jewish outlook and understanding on this! You are always so respectful and express your views with such grace!
I need to learn more about other religions and how that affects parenting!
this was beautifully articulated and expressed
This is the most important video I’ve viewed in forever. There are more than a few people that should hear your words! Yes, parenting should be a loving relationship; I might add that if we don’t make it a goal that kids believe we are always “right” then we encourage them to think critically and more independently. Possibly the most valuable skill we can teach them.
I am a conservative Jewish woman who raised a son who is now in his 40’s. We had a “time out” chair. When he needed to be punished he spent maybe 20 seconds there. Then he got kisses and hugs. When he was old enough to understand more, I told him to go sit there and think about why he was there. Then he would get kisses and hugs. When he was older he would go to his room, and after the five minutes or so, he would come out and I would tell him I didn’t like his behavior when he did X, but I loved him. When he was in his teens, I told him I was his parent, not his friend, and it was my (dad left much of the discipline to me) responsibility to be just that.
Yes, he had his teenage rebellion. That sucked for everyone. But by his mid 20’s he realized that we were right and told my mother this one day during a visit. He has 2 little ones now, and he and my DIL, who is not Jewish, seem to be doing it my way. I have my grandchildren here all the time, and I would know if they were being hit in any way. They have a timeout chair here (I have done all their childcare since they were infants), and I do exactly what I did way back when.
My DIL has told me I am the best MIL she could have asked for, and the best grandmother she could have gotten for her children. Every Friday I do Shabbat on FaceTime with them. They have a fresh, homemade challah on their table. Now I am teaching them the aleph bet song, and a few Hebrew words. My DIL is supportive of my efforts.
Everything said in this video is true and sound. Hopefully you have changed some minds today. BTW, I am here because I want to know what’s going on with young Jewish moms today. That will help me with my grandchildren, as for now I am the source of their Jewish life.
Corporal punishments are a major problem. There may be a difference between spanking and restricting or beating and confining or is there? It shows a lack of respect for the child as a child of God and a locus of rights. It is further, like war, a failure of other human endeavors, behaviors available to us to teach, guide, discipline, prepare children for life. You did a beautiful job of explaining this within the context of faith, scripture, Jewish culture.
Love this video! Please make more about Jewish parenting, and about babies and toddlers. Our son is 8 months now :)
I whole heartedly agree with your philosophy! I truly love everything you said and believe many will be blessed by what you shared! May God bless you and your family!
I got so emotional when you described how a goal of yours is to allow your son to express his feelings rather than being right as a parent. Thank you for sharing.
I don't question your experience, but most of my friends came from a very Jewish area in North London (England) and as far as I remember, ALL my friends there were spanked... some more, some less, but spanking was not only common, but regarded as something totally normal.
I’m Jewish and got spankings for sure. Not abusive but got spanked over my mom’s lap lol
Either though I am not a parent I really appreciated the words that you are speaking in this specific video. Mayim Bialik has done many great videos relating to parenting since she is a parent herself. Mayim is a great, really intelligent and entertaining communicator and I really enjoy listening to her thoughts on certain topics such as parenting. Thank you so much for posting this great and enjoyable video. I love watching your videos Marion!
It goes without saying that you are an amazing mother and example of an Eshet Chayil to your family! Absolutely love this content 💖💫
I think you’ll find that many Safaradi families do smack their kids. My mother is Moroccan and all of my aunts & my mother gave us all lots of “Makot” and I have Safardi friends who were quoted from the bible “he who doesn’t hit his child hates his child” I don’t know it in Hebrew, sorry. BTW, I don’t smack my own kids, I grew up in London amongst Ashkenazim
Awesome please continue 🙏
Thank you so much for making this. My husband is not Jewish and I am, and he grew up with spanking as punishment and I did not. We have a 3 year old that is being raised Jewish and I have been trying to help him understand why this isn’t an effective or appropriate means of showing her we don’t like how she is behaving. It’s been a hot topic in my house lately. I am going to send this video to him to help him understand my belief system. You put it into words I struggle to find. Thank you so so much! 💕
Absolutely loved this video. And would love to see more like it! Thank you
Thank you!!
As someone who is really looking forward to parenthood in the far future, I really like these types of video. I think your philosophy is wonderful and you sound like you're really raising your kids in a happy loving home 💘
I loved this video! More please.
I’m not a parent myself, but that’s a wonderful philosophy. Do you have any good book recommendations about conscious parenting?
Thank you 🙏 I love @drbeckyatgoodinside for more on all of this!
You explained (thoughtfully) how I feel in regards to parenting and my opposition to hitting. >>> You said it much more calmly than I would - ha! My version would be something like ... The only thing you teach your child, through hitting, is that you are intolerant, impatient and lack the basic skill set needed to be a good person - never mind a good parent (see how you were much better at explaining it :) My parents never physically hurt me but there was a lot of belittling and insults (mental abuse) that still haunt me today. And, to be honest, hurtful words easily come out of my mouth as a result. I think when we parent our children we are also parenting the child that resides inside of us (that's why many of us turn to reactive parenting). This is the time to change the course of events and give our children the childhood we all deserved. 😊
PS I love the paint color behind you. Do you happen to know what it is? 🙂
That is such a good point! I think so many of us have inner child trauma from the way we were brought up and it can be very hard to not react from that place of hurt when we get frustrated ourselves.
Thank you for sharing! It's so true that as parents we have the power to break down our triggers (that we often don't even notice until our children do something) and change the narrative of generations
@@MyJewishMommyLife I think most parents who say "I was hit as a child and it didn't do any harm to me" sadly have no idea of the trauma they hold onto. We are all victims, or victors, of our environment 😊
@@SamWest96 Exactly ! 💕
Marion, has the type of mindful parenting you describe been the norm in most American Jewish families over the last few generations, say from the 1950s until now? Or has it evolved over the years from stricter approaches to parenting in previous generations of Jewish families?
Love this question!! It has definitely evolved! In the 1950s most jewish parents were Holocaust survivors and grew up with trauma and in a poverty so that definitely affected things. I would say American jewish parents tend to be progressive and interested in modern child psychology etc.
@@MyJewishMommyLife I think it is very important for children to grow up in a family where they are allowed to express anger and frustration with their parents and to learn to stand up for themselves, all in a respectful way. They also need to be taught how that is done by using age-appropriate examples. Parents also need to remember that children are always observing how their parents deal with anger issues between themselves.
If feelings of that nature are suppressed at home or met with punishment, how are children ever going to develop healthy conflict resolution skills to deal with society at large? There's a fine line between being an authority figure and an authoritarian with your child.
@@vivianpowell1732 It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
Question. If a child even at six years old, refuses to brush their teeth after being told, what does one do about this? This has happened actually tonight and my husband forced her to brush her teeth by being the one who held the toothbrush and put it in her mouth while she was fighting the whole time to me this is more traumatic and doesn’t really solve any problems. I think she got mad at hearing the words “OK it’s time to brush your teeth“. Is it possible that I should just talk to her at this age and say OK I’m giving you the responsibility to take care of your own teeth without being told so that gives her some power and choices. I hope you see this because I would really like to hear your opinion on this idea.
Love this. I have nieces and nephews, but no kids of my own. I want to be a conscious Aunt just like what you are talking about in this episode. Thanks for the content.
I am a Christian and I love to hear you talk. We have a lot of similarities and I love how you explain. I have a special place in my heart for Israel. I make your shabbat bread recipe all the time. I love to learn about Jewish history and people. ✡🇮🇱🇺🇸
Wow, thank you for this. I was convinced a long time ago that spanking was ok to do as long as you weren’t angry when doing it. I admit I did spank my son twice and I absolutely hated doing it - I see now that there are some lingering effects - he’s 15 and I feel like he hides from me when he used to tell me everything. Thank you so much, God has used you in so many ways to help me see more truth.
Shalom and blessings.
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
Excellent video! I’m a Christian and we use a mixture of the gentle and conscious parenting models. I was in a bible study once where these women were using THAT VERSE to validate beating, I mean “lovingly correcting” their children. I made my case and walked out. Apparently I’m a crazy extremist…
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
Honest question here; how do you go about implementing this type of attitude when a child has already been exposed to hitting because they’ve been hit and how do you suggest correcting these types of behaviors?
How do you respond/not get defensive if the child is saying you're hurting their feelings, but they feel that way because they're not getting their way (e.g., not getting a cookie, not getting more screen time, not getting a toy they want, etc.)?
I just try to stay calm and to know that if they are dis-regulated it doesn't matter what they're saying in the moment they first need to calm down and feel loved, then later on when we are calm and happy again we talk about using kind words etc.
Never thought about this in terms of Judaism. But you’re right- never saw it in the Jewish community myself either!
I love this well said
I know some in Christianity
Have misunderstood
Spare the rod spoil
The child
I always thought no
Spare the rod
Was to Gentle Guide the sheep
Not hit them lol
Another verse is my rod comforts me
Not harms
Or the sheep especially our precious children
Or anyone lol
Ty great video ❤
Thank you so much
Love this , absolutely no smacking children x
Ok this is an interesting topic. I am Asian and not to generalize here but we spank often. Sometimes even harshly, although that is fading with each generation. But our main goal and highest value is obedience and devotion to the family. I think both groups in general raise good productive adults. But with very different parenting practices. I remember one Asian veteran mom telling me if I had to ere on the too lenient or too harsh side, always choose the too harsh. A well disciplined respectful child will grow to understand the reasoning for the discipline. In Asian culture father us the master or teacher. Even with non spanking ways , Asian children are well disciplined. Everyone knows about academic tiger parenting but there are other things less obvious. For example, even though we are upper middle class, my son is required to work in the Donjang six to eight hours a week for no pay. To learn to work, to be disciplined, and to serve his master. I know college kids that can’t seem to even find a summer job or internship. My son will always know what it ,eans to work a no when he is ready for paid employment, he will be a good worker. Not saying one parenting philosophy os better than the other. Both raise strong academic students, responsible adults, and devoted children.
I think culture plays a huge role here, it's a very important point. If "everyone" around you has certain cultural practices like a value of obedience it can be helpful to make sure your kids also know how to be obedient, I think the important thing is that the parent isn't reacting in anger or frustration etc.
@@MyJewishMommyLife of course. And I think even Asian parenting is lightening up. But my parents generation was crazy abusive and I think we are just strict. I saw this Disney plus short where this Asian family allows his young son to act in traditional feminine ways, ballet, pink dolls, etc. I don’t think Asian culture has come that far outside Hollywood. But yes, even in America, Asian parents are trying to change a bit to western styles.
I love this channel and I also love your take on spanking within Judaism. Sadly, though, I have to disagree that there is never spanking within the Jewish community. There was, but the children that it was happening to probably weren't talking about it. I was one such child. It also developed later on into more serious physical abuse. I'm just saying that just because you didn't see it doesn't mean it didn't happen. It was probably more common than you think.
It is difficult for me to understand that many American Christian families use spanking and humiliation so much for their children, I recently read to a boy from Colorado that his new stepmother spanks him in front of the whole family, once a week, and his daughters His stepmother doesn't have to go through that, and the boy's father agrees, that broke my heart. I don't know how I can help you. That seems so unfair to me.
so...when does punishment come in ? not spanking but other form of correction...like go to your room for an hour or no tv today...thing's like that
Love the bump! ❤️
You are so right. They are just “little” human beings instead of “big” human beings . My philosophy is that I don’t want to be hit and they don’t want to be hit either! In addition because they are little, nine times out of ten they don’t understand why they were spanked. Just try to imagine what horror you are putting inside their little hearts because in my opinion they are wondering what you are going to do to them next. Don’t you remember when you were little and something happened that scared you and your little heart was racing so fast because you needed comforting from your parents not fearing them . My boys are 45 and 50 and we agreed that we would not spank but instead would practice patience, teaching and respect. People thought we were crazy when we said that above everything else if you would show them respect that they would never disappoint and they didn’t.
Love this video. I was raised in an atheist family but my parents had very similar views to this about discipline. We never did time outs or anything either- we did “thinking time” about how our actions had affected other people.
One of my worst memories as a little kid was when I walked on my sisters puzzle and the babysitter put me on a time out for an HOUR. I was like 4, it was horrible and so contrary to what I was used to.
Loved the video!
I grew up chasidic in the deep south, i know ironic. I was spanked as well as my All my peers.
When I was a small boy I ate a grape from the shelf in a shop, my grandmother smacked me for stealing; years later most of my friends were shoplifting and breaking in places, I never did as I had been corrected by my grandmother..,,,, Some of my friends ended up in prison in England
Wow that hurts my heart just to hear but I’m glad it didn’t affect you that way and ended up working for you.
Beautiful thanks alot
Very inspirational! Just sent you an email. Please do check at your convenience. :)
Marion , I really wanted to ask you if your boys will be mature , you let them to be with Christian girls ?
I hope that is not an awkward question!
It’s a great question! Of course I couldn’t really stop them if they wanted to do something so it doesn’t really matter but I would jus support and love them and encourage them to follow their heart. I hope Judaism is a big part of their adult life but I understand if for whatever reason that doesn’t happen.
My mom was Jewish and she would beat the crap out of me. But maybe the difference is she wasn't that religious.
Same. Both of my parents are Jewish. My mom reform, my dad orthodox, and they met in the middle practicing conservative until I was about 8 and then moved to a reform temple. I was spanked heavily by both. It never occurred to me that it was against Judaism to do so. I vowed never to spank my own kids and I didn’t, snd taught my husband gentle discipline methods that I had learned. We managed to raise them to adulthood without ever spanking them and they turned out pretty good. It brings me comfort to know that this is backed up by Judaism.
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I am telling you it's not abuse to correct your child! Unfortunately in an imperfect world their are a lot of parents whom are not too invested in spiritual truths and need growth more than their kids! Assuming you truly have the Torah yourself I do not know what kind of child you think you are going to raise but believe me if they figured out you are not going to do anything about their moral infractions they will walk all over you on the understanding they can shame you into thinking you are enacting abusive behavior or are acting like you are ignorant or stupid for disciplining them! First moral/love recommendation: Be sure you are right in wisdom/God! Next if you are from the law now as an elder rule with a rod of iron and love that kid enough to break them as their conduct does in fact effect the Holy spirit!
We love your show! But have to differ on this. What you’re teaching is neither Historic Judaism nor Torah, but is modern, “enlightened”, Secular Philosophy. You are entitled to your parenting choices. But it is highly cruel to demonize others that differ as “abusers”. “Hitting” and overly controlling or even striking out in anger is entirely differently than a logical and loving, occasional use of force to teach children self-discipline, which should be the actual goal of any “parenting” technique! “Proverbs 29:15 A rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left free brings shame to his mother
Really interesting cause I wonder how Gods rod comforts one if you say use the rod to beat a child makes no sense whatsoever.
In the Scriptures it says train up a child in the way they should go and when they grow old and depart they will come back!!! Spare the rod spoil the child!!! All four of my sons were disciplined according to the holy Scriptures!!! 🌈✝️🌈