Great video Rita. You are talking about something very important. I have worked as a stylist, and here's what I have noticed about my clients when I'm with them as they try clothes on, when they look in the mirror. 1. Breathing. Your breathing doesn't lie. When a garment is right, you unconsciously take a deeper breath. When it's not so right, your breathing doesn't change. Learn to notice your own breathing when you look at your reflection. The natural expansion of your breath is the #1 indicator of rightness . 2. Posture. When a garment is right, you unconsciously stand a little prouder. Because you like the way you appear, your self-confidence increases, which changes the way you stand. 3. Movement. When a garment is right, you unconsciously start to make happy movements with your whole body as you look in the mirror. Open movements, You may want to twirl, you may want to walk around, and make brief stops to pose. What your body does when a garment ISN'T right enough -- the Signs: 1. Plucking and fingering. Although arranging a garment on your body in order to style it well ( e.g half tucking a top) is often necessary, if you have the urge to pull it into different drapings and keep adjusting the fit for more than, say, 5 seconds, this is a warning sign/red flag. Your hands can't rest! because your eyes aren't satisfied. 2. Cycling through different photographic poses you've seen, posing like an online fashion photo. If you have the urge to keep testing one cool attitude after another, that’s another red flag. Your eyes aren't satisfied, because this garment only gives you the right feeling when you can see it from certain photographic angles -- or when it is in motion. BUT the right garment will look good when you stand perfectly still, with your arms by your sides, facing the mirror front on. Yes, this is the most boring and unflattering pose possible, but the right garment will make you look good when you are doing nothing and making no effort, as well as when you are in motion. Remember to test every garment with STILLNESS first. I believe all the above applies, regardless of whether a person is experienced in fashion or not. For myself, I still occasionally talk myself into buying a garment which turns out to be a mistake --- but much less often than I used to, thanks to what I learned above. Good refund policies are a great help :).
i notice that whenever i put on an item of clothing, whether it's a fancy dress or a pair of jeans, i get this "just right" feeling that makes me wanna do a little happy dance in the mirror lol. your points about breathing and posture articulated physical manifestations of that feeling! your observation skills are excellent. it's my goal to get all of my clothing to make me feel "just right"--from the foundations to the accessories :)
Crazy as it sounds, my pregnancy weight gain was the best thing for my style. Before, I didn't think i was allowed to wear something if it wasn't "flattering" (my mom's words for "makes you look thin"). Now that, respectfully, nothing I wear could make me look thin, I am able to just wear what communicates other things about me than "bangable". Sounds so sad, but now I love my style AND my body, where before I liked neither. I love what you said about finding out how you experience "hell yeah". It is so true: my body knows when I look to ME
Your atitude is such an inspiration! I practiced a lot of "being soft" with myself for the last 8 years to combat my inner critique. I think its time to transition in to complimenting and hyping myself unapologeticaly now ❤
Thank you for another helpful video 🙏🏼😊 I don’t want to be petty, but for me the subtitles with the jumping color is super distracting. But for some people, these are really helpful. Idk 😅🌸
@@StyleThoughtsbyRitais it maybe possible to not have the individual words highlighted at all (in color or not)? I think it’s the bouncing rectangle that’s distracting more than the color. I do appreciate the subtitles overall and know how helpful it is for hard of hearing and deaf individuals, but the bouncing rectangle does make it hard to look at you and follow what you’re saying
Love your work Rita! For the subtitles I personally like the UA-cam CC option so that they can be switched on or off to cater to each person's needs. I regularly need subtitles because I experience episodes where my listening comprehension suddenly cuts out and i can only understand written language. But then paradoxically when my hearing is all working correctly the subtitles can be distracting to follow along with because i have ADHD too.
There are so many "how to find your style" videos on YT but your advice is really unique and personal 👏 I noticed that I already had a good intuition on what suits me, but I did not recognize it as enough. Whenever I try to be extra, I end up with too much. Often, the simple items are already extra enough.
Brilliant, Rita! Deceptively simple but it's the crux of it all. Your advice to reinvigorate your intuition (which I love, because I ignored my intuition for years!) reminds me of Marie Kondo's advice to recognize joy above all. Love both of your systems because they lead you to what you actually like, want, and need.
I had kind of an opposite experience to the yes/no/maybe? with a pair of jeans recently. I tried these jeans on at a store and there was something that just wasn't clicking... I kept trying to identify what was making me doubt about them (the fabric? the way they fit? I wasn't sure), and since I've been trying to exclusively purchase *clear yes* items, I decided not to get them. Yet I wasn't sure of the no 🙃 I tried them on again, I still wasn't sure but I got them anyway and... I wear them all the time! I literally love them, how they fit, how they feel, everything. It was kinda puzzling because I'm still not sure what went on in that changing room, but I'm thinking sometimes that yes/no can be pretty subconscious for some of us.
I think sometimes we jump to a "no" when something is new or unfamiliar or we just have a rigid pre-perception of what is for us and what isn't So for some people, you maybe say no to a lot of things and so strengthening the "no" is not really a priority P.s. I also want to add that maybe expecting a really loud big intense YES from yourself is not a good approach, maybe your YES is not this full body total confident feeling (mine isn't!)
I had the same feeling many times and it was because I subconsciously wanted those items but didn't allow myself to have them bc it didn't flatter my bodytype, people would comment on them, are too weird, etc. So yeah, it's complicated and that's why Rita's work on style is so valuable. Just this practicing of simple inner yes/no brings you in touch with your inner workings, likes, desires and restrictions and you can work with it.
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita this is such a good point! I also think my experience generally relates to what you said regarding overriding our own intuition... sometimes that is saying yes to things that deep down feel like a no, but also saying no to things that deep down feel like a yes. It's been hard work trying to reconnect to how things feel on the inside and trusting that feeling! Thanks a lot for your continued advice, it always pushes me to think a bit deeper about things and helps me learn a lot about myself.
I think ive finally got there 😁I call my style relaxed struxture. Im left down and love a casual relaxed look,but I like a bit of structure and tailoring. So today ive got a tank top style tshirt with a longlne cardigan. The tshirt is a bit form fitted and the 3/4 length trousers are demin and sligtly form fiiting. So relaxed but not totally relaxed and baggy
Rita you're such a style master! 😂 I really love and appreciate what you do. This explanation was so simple yet so clear and I understood everything. It was like a lightbulb clicked in my head! I will be practicing feeling and honouring my internal yes and no 🥰 Thank you!
I found the bouncing colour highlight on the words distracting. Found myself focussing on that rather than your face. However, I really appreciate the words as it saves me using the transcript to follow along due to accent differences . 🌷
I love each and every one of your videos. I am hoping to eventually see a deep dive video for each and everyone of the archetypes. Explored in detail I think would be a great learning tool. And would be fun!😊💞🌺
Thank you, Rita! With all your videos and helpful advice I finally found my own style that I love and feel confident in. I don't say it was an easy process, but it was so worth it! So now I'm just slowly adjusting my wardrobe piece by piece and listen to myself if it feels true to me as I know this kind of wardrobe building takes time and effort to find what my enchantress is craving inside. 🙂💘💕💖
The thing is it's difficult to understand that you can like something but it isn't for you regardless. For example, I love long flowy frilly boho style dresses. I love looking at them. BUT it's not something that works for me. I look ridiculous in them. I look best in minimalistic, straight line dresses. I love these pretty broderie anglaise blouses you see everywhere now. But I feel off in them. They are way too romantic. I need a simple linen shirt. So I think it's most important to understand your "vibe" first before stocking your wardrobe with pretty things that you would like to love on you. Define your style in 3-4 words. Mine are classic/minimal, effortless, edgy and contrast for example. Then look at your pieces with that in mind. Does it tick all the boxes? Then only buy things that fit you perfectly. Consider using a tailor to adjust lengths or darts. (I'm short, so need to adjust almost all trousers and long sleeve items)
Love your work.Still working through all the work,to understand and intergtate where I belong. I would like to know how to find a casual minimal look without buying into fast and young fasion trends but still look current.I guess I would not purchase anything if I dont make some compromises about what the stores stock,the quality and materials as well as the style I am picky.I am 67 and pettite and Kibbie TR which is allready tricky and could easily look frumpy. I like clothes that are fitted and not oversize which just swamp me.I feel best with no simple lines makeup,just good skin and lipcolour,too much and I look clown like.My idea of style icons are old hollywood.what or who could be my starting point for refferenc.I dont feel I can relate to the current celebrities you show.would love some feefback
I found my yes recently! I wore a new outfit and the first thing I thought when I looked in the mirror was “wow I look and feel like a woman who knows exactly who she is”
Well if you enjoy all those styles then there's no problem 🌞 the point was not to say you need a specific aesthetic but to help you if you feel bad about having too many options and not knowing how you feel about them
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita Agree about the makeup, and that side parting looks great on you too. When you said, "My hair looks pretty," I thought, "It DOES!"
Great video Rita. You are talking about something very important. I have worked as a stylist, and here's what I have noticed about my clients when I'm with them as they try clothes on, when they look in the mirror.
1. Breathing. Your breathing doesn't lie. When a garment is right, you unconsciously take a deeper breath. When it's not so right, your breathing doesn't change. Learn to notice your own breathing when you look at your reflection. The natural expansion of your breath is the #1 indicator of rightness .
2. Posture. When a garment is right, you unconsciously stand a little prouder. Because you like the way you appear, your self-confidence increases, which changes the way you stand.
3. Movement. When a garment is right, you unconsciously start to make happy movements with your whole body as you look in the mirror. Open movements, You may want to twirl, you may want to walk around, and make brief stops to pose.
What your body does when a garment ISN'T right enough -- the Signs:
1. Plucking and fingering. Although arranging a garment on your body in order to style it well ( e.g half tucking a top) is often necessary, if you have the urge to pull it into different drapings and keep adjusting the fit for more than, say, 5 seconds, this is a warning sign/red flag. Your hands can't rest! because your eyes aren't satisfied.
2. Cycling through different photographic poses you've seen, posing like an online fashion photo. If you have the urge to keep testing one cool attitude after another, that’s another red flag. Your eyes aren't satisfied, because this garment only gives you the right feeling when you can see it from certain photographic angles -- or when it is in motion. BUT the right garment will look good when you stand perfectly still, with your arms by your sides, facing the mirror front on. Yes, this is the most boring and unflattering pose possible, but the right garment will make you look good when you are doing nothing and making no effort, as well as when you are in motion. Remember to test every garment with STILLNESS first.
I believe all the above applies, regardless of whether a person is experienced in fashion or not. For myself, I still occasionally talk myself into buying a garment which turns out to be a mistake --- but much less often than I used to, thanks to what I learned above. Good refund policies are a great help :).
i notice that whenever i put on an item of clothing, whether it's a fancy dress or a pair of jeans, i get this "just right" feeling that makes me wanna do a little happy dance in the mirror lol. your points about breathing and posture articulated physical manifestations of that feeling! your observation skills are excellent. it's my goal to get all of my clothing to make me feel "just right"--from the foundations to the accessories :)
Crazy as it sounds, my pregnancy weight gain was the best thing for my style. Before, I didn't think i was allowed to wear something if it wasn't "flattering" (my mom's words for "makes you look thin"). Now that, respectfully, nothing I wear could make me look thin, I am able to just wear what communicates other things about me than "bangable". Sounds so sad, but now I love my style AND my body, where before I liked neither.
I love what you said about finding out how you experience "hell yeah". It is so true: my body knows when I look to ME
Your atitude is such an inspiration! I practiced a lot of "being soft" with myself for the last 8 years to combat my inner critique. I think its time to transition in to complimenting and hyping myself unapologeticaly now ❤
Hype hype hype!!!!
Funny thing is I didn't exactly need this video, but yet it was extremely helpful. Brilliantly simple and crystal clear Rita! Thank you ❤️❤️❤️🎈
Thank you for another helpful video 🙏🏼😊 I don’t want to be petty, but for me the subtitles with the jumping color is super distracting. But for some people, these are really helpful. Idk 😅🌸
Thank you, I just went with the default style and next time I'll take the one without colors 🌞
@@StyleThoughtsbyRitais it maybe possible to not have the individual words highlighted at all (in color or not)? I think it’s the bouncing rectangle that’s distracting more than the color. I do appreciate the subtitles overall and know how helpful it is for hard of hearing and deaf individuals, but the bouncing rectangle does make it hard to look at you and follow what you’re saying
@@Kimmie9553 yes that's what I meant no rectangle
@@Kimmie9553 really appreciate yours and everyone's feedback on this! Want it to be easiest for everyone
I agree, super distracting for me. I wish we could just turn them off so other people who do find them helpful could have them on.
Love your work Rita!
For the subtitles I personally like the UA-cam CC option so that they can be switched on or off to cater to each person's needs.
I regularly need subtitles because I experience episodes where my listening comprehension suddenly cuts out and i can only understand written language.
But then paradoxically when my hearing is all working correctly the subtitles can be distracting to follow along with because i have ADHD too.
There are so many "how to find your style" videos on YT but your advice is really unique and personal 👏 I noticed that I already had a good intuition on what suits me, but I did not recognize it as enough. Whenever I try to be extra, I end up with too much. Often, the simple items are already extra enough.
Thank you Rita. This was really helpful 🙏❤️
Brilliant, Rita! Deceptively simple but it's the crux of it all.
Your advice to reinvigorate your intuition (which I love, because I ignored my intuition for years!) reminds me of Marie Kondo's advice to recognize joy above all.
Love both of your systems because they lead you to what you actually like, want, and need.
I had kind of an opposite experience to the yes/no/maybe? with a pair of jeans recently. I tried these jeans on at a store and there was something that just wasn't clicking... I kept trying to identify what was making me doubt about them (the fabric? the way they fit? I wasn't sure), and since I've been trying to exclusively purchase *clear yes* items, I decided not to get them. Yet I wasn't sure of the no 🙃 I tried them on again, I still wasn't sure but I got them anyway and... I wear them all the time! I literally love them, how they fit, how they feel, everything. It was kinda puzzling because I'm still not sure what went on in that changing room, but I'm thinking sometimes that yes/no can be pretty subconscious for some of us.
I think sometimes we jump to a "no" when something is new or unfamiliar or we just have a rigid pre-perception of what is for us and what isn't
So for some people, you maybe say no to a lot of things and so strengthening the "no" is not really a priority
P.s. I also want to add that maybe expecting a really loud big intense YES from yourself is not a good approach, maybe your YES is not this full body total confident feeling (mine isn't!)
I had the same feeling many times and it was because I subconsciously wanted those items but didn't allow myself to have them bc it didn't flatter my bodytype, people would comment on them, are too weird, etc. So yeah, it's complicated and that's why Rita's work on style is so valuable. Just this practicing of simple inner yes/no brings you in touch with your inner workings, likes, desires and restrictions and you can work with it.
Great video, Rita! I know the inner yes, I'll try the inner no! Curious about it 🤩
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita this is such a good point! I also think my experience generally relates to what you said regarding overriding our own intuition... sometimes that is saying yes to things that deep down feel like a no, but also saying no to things that deep down feel like a yes.
It's been hard work trying to reconnect to how things feel on the inside and trusting that feeling!
Thanks a lot for your continued advice, it always pushes me to think a bit deeper about things and helps me learn a lot about myself.
I think ive finally got there 😁I call my style relaxed struxture. Im left down and love a casual relaxed look,but I like a bit of structure and tailoring. So today ive got a tank top style tshirt with a longlne cardigan. The tshirt is a bit form fitted and the 3/4 length trousers are demin and sligtly form fiiting. So relaxed but not totally relaxed and baggy
Wow that color and makeup make you look so radiant 😊
Thank you 🌸🌞
thank you for adding captions!! they are super helpful for accessibility purposes. i hope you’ll keep them even if the colored rectangles go away. 🙏🏻
Rita you're such a style master! 😂
I really love and appreciate what you do. This explanation was so simple yet so clear and I understood everything. It was like a lightbulb clicked in my head!
I will be practicing feeling and honouring my internal yes and no 🥰
Thank you!
This comment makes me happy thank u 🌸
Ritaaaaa you are a really important piece of my online feeling good and healing trip to myself, thank you again for the insights in this video!
Thank you I'm so happy that my work is helping 🌸
I found the bouncing colour highlight on the words distracting. Found myself focussing on that rather than your face. However, I really appreciate the words as it saves me using the transcript to follow along due to accent differences . 🌷
I love each and every one of your videos. I am hoping to eventually see a deep dive video for each and everyone of the archetypes. Explored in detail I think would be a great learning tool. And would be fun!😊💞🌺
Thank you, Rita! With all your videos and helpful advice I finally found my own style that I love and feel confident in. I don't say it was an easy process, but it was so worth it! So now I'm just slowly adjusting my wardrobe piece by piece and listen to myself if it feels true to me as I know this kind of wardrobe building takes time and effort to find what my enchantress is craving inside. 🙂💘💕💖
Another amazing video, thanks Rita
The thing is it's difficult to understand that you can like something but it isn't for you regardless. For example, I love long flowy frilly boho style dresses. I love looking at them. BUT it's not something that works for me. I look ridiculous in them. I look best in minimalistic, straight line dresses. I love these pretty broderie anglaise blouses you see everywhere now. But I feel off in them. They are way too romantic. I need a simple linen shirt. So I think it's most important to understand your "vibe" first before stocking your wardrobe with pretty things that you would like to love on you. Define your style in 3-4 words. Mine are classic/minimal, effortless, edgy and contrast for example. Then look at your pieces with that in mind. Does it tick all the boxes? Then only buy things that fit you perfectly. Consider using a tailor to adjust lengths or darts. (I'm short, so need to adjust almost all trousers and long sleeve items)
This is such good advice. And you are so beautiful 💖
Thank you! ❤️
Love your work.Still working through all the work,to understand and intergtate where I belong.
I would like to know how to find a casual minimal look without buying into fast and young fasion trends but still look current.I guess I would not purchase anything if I dont make some compromises about what the stores stock,the quality and materials as well as the style I am picky.I am 67 and pettite and Kibbie TR which is allready tricky and could easily look frumpy. I like clothes that are fitted and not oversize which just swamp me.I feel best with no simple lines makeup,just good skin and lipcolour,too much and I look clown like.My idea of style icons are old hollywood.what or who could be my starting point for refferenc.I dont feel I can relate to the current celebrities you show.would love some feefback
I found my yes recently! I wore a new outfit and the first thing I thought when I looked in the mirror was “wow I look and feel like a woman who knows exactly who she is”
So the thing is I ended up doing all of those things (like sporty, chic, boho, often at the same time) but that's because I'm a Wildflower xD
Well if you enjoy all those styles then there's no problem 🌞 the point was not to say you need a specific aesthetic but to help you if you feel bad about having too many options and not knowing how you feel about them
I opened this video on a whim. now I'm having childhood trauma flash backs.
Your makeup looks really good btw😃
Thank you!
@@StyleThoughtsbyRita Agree about the makeup, and that side parting looks great on you too. When you said, "My hair looks pretty," I thought, "It DOES!"
I think I know what style I want but unfortunately I don’t have the body type for it😢
❤
I don't like the words, Rita. I read very fast and it's distracting.
It was helpful for me. 🤷♀️ I think this kind of thing is personal, so it's probably hard for her to appease all of us.
❤️