r/Whitepeopletwitter | punctuation saves lives
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- Опубліковано 23 вер 2024
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Top posts from r/Whitepeopletwitter on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay Video credits below.
Narrator ► / @jaymick
Also check out:
r/DontYouKnowWhoIAm | Houston, we have a problem.
• r/DontYouKnowWhoIAm | ...
r/MaliciousCompliance | Me: Sure thing!
• r/MaliciousCompliance ...
r/Nicegirls | she doesn't want much.
• r/Nicegirls | she does...
honestly if I had a comfy job, a social life, and a stable life, i'd be more than happy to be a human battery
Well he did get a girlfriend out of it.
Is, is that Jax in the thumbnail?! Micheal Kovach has infiltrated everything!
(edit) EMKAY HOW DARE YOU ALTER THE THUMBNAIL!!!
Imagine though if people could send viruses and shit to infect your life. At worst you would perceive them as actual viruses and feel sick, but a reality-altering virus could do so much more. All of the water you encounter is liquid poop. But ONLY you--everyone else and their version of reality is consistent with one that has water. You alone specifically exist in a hellscape of raw sewage. Other people try to force-feed you water, out of legitimate concern that you're about to die of dehydration, only for you to repeatedly and violently throw up. Your body simply will not accept water. But from your perspective, you are struggling weakly and futilely as people pour diarrhea down your throat. And every time they succeed, it takes even more of what little strength you have left to throw it back up.
Give me the matrix steak. I grow weary of this existence.
ayo what the hell
Oppenheimer would be the funniest movie ever if Samuel L. Jackson popped up to invite him to the avengers
paddington bear
The live action Scooby doo
Shrek as an avenger
Colonel Sanders
He saves Mace Windu after the emperor throws him out the window
6:42
THE GRINCH
WE NEED THE GRINCH TO BE RECRUITED
Just imagine the last scene in the movie, with the Grinch staying behind at the table to reflect on what happened, then suddenly Samuel L. Jackson walking out from behind a Christmas tree, saying:
"You used to be quite the mean one, Mr Grinch..."
1:06 Also, The Last Unicorn seems to have maintained a lot of its original story and quality, probably because the script was written by the original author.
6:56 is also a great potential use of The Last Unicorn
@@adrienstarfaeryou seem to really enjoy that movie
The song America did makes me cry like a bish....
I THOUGHT I WAS READING TIMED AND I THOUGHT THIS WAS ABOUT 3:57 IM DYING
I was obsessed with it as a kid.
Neo, step out of your cozy office job and the life that feels inexplicably off. Embrace your true self, even in the face of a sizable crowd that opposes us and wishes we weren't here. Oh, and by the way, here's your dose of estradiol.
... and btw this is Samuel L. Jackson, he wants to talk to you about some initative
MY NAME IS NEO AND I GOT SO CONFUSED OMG
@@neolol7270why? It's obviously a message for you lol😂😂😂
@@neolol7270 Wake up. Follow the white rabbit
Cue: "NO!!!! THE MATRIX ISN'T A TRANS ALLEGORY!!!"
(if you're trying to figure out if it is or not, the creators are trans)
Our dog was actually the one to be found in the trash, my mom used a piece of steak to get her to come out behind a dumpster. Our cat on the other hand, she was dropped by an bird after the bird ate the rest of the litter.
Oh
That was funny and adorable up until the last six words.
oh
"Oh" was exactly what I said after reading the end, the smile immediately dropping from my face
Your baby was delivered by a stork, just in a slightly more horrific Brothers Grimm interpretation of the story.
The bottom drawer of the cooker is for catching grease & food debris, in some gas cookers it's also for plumbing access.
and also for cookie sheets and muffin pans :D
@@windraizou Do you mean the bottom rack in the oven or the drawer that is under that is under the oven?
If you have grease and food debris in the drawer under the oven, you need a new oven. That's like saying the cabinet under the sink is for catching water.
@@Skypost4ever There's a draw under you fridge, what do you think that's for? For that matter what do you think a crumb tray in a toaster is for? If you still have the manual for your cooker it'll literally say that tray under it is for servicing.
@@Skypost4everyeah I inherited an oven with that problem. Thing was fucking nasty with all the rust and caked up grease in the warming drawer. I wonder how the hell grandma cooked in it for so long 😭
Regarding the trump painting, as a german i learned not to criticise artists
This comment is fantastic. Good thing Trump wasn't the one who painted himself, because I'd certainly ... accept him into my art school if I had one.
@@xtremelymoderate829hes already president, youre too late
Well, no worries friend! If you check out the guitar frets, you'll notice that it is, in fact, AI generated. He couldn't get into art school regardless!
...Wait.
I think in this painting trump looked pretty young for a 70+ grandpa person
This comment made me wheeze 💀
2:24 people miss that this was satire. If you actually read that guy’s tweets he’s very funny. He is a tech/finance bro but self-aware
I was thinking that when I saw it. People don't say stuff like that unless they know what they're doing
@@PJM257 Usually, but then you scroll some Twitter feeds...
It's easy to make fun of out of context moments.
That's kind of just how Costco is. If we leave with less than $200 of stuff, we consider it successful and frugal. That post is 100% valid
There's not a single Costco in my entire state, so i have never been to one. I feel like i need to go to one just to experience it
@@Protoplanetary_Dust I agree that you should. They are a very strange company but strange in a good way. Their hours are pretty much always 10-8:30. They have door checkers to make sure you're not stealing, so there is a line to leave. But also the afternoons have unlimited free samples, they have that $1.50 hot dog and $5 normal-sized breast of rotisserie chicken, they were so determined to keep the price at $5 that they literally invested into raising the chickens themselves because chicken farmers across the country were forced to price higher and start selling "cornish hen" size for smaller. A smaller chicken at Safeway costs $8.
Also also, my single father worked there when I was in high school and in the early 2000s, they paid $21 an hour, mandatory and scheduled 15 minute paid breaks, employer health care, and mandatory 6 month review which also gave raises. They have a 3 strike policy about harassment too, unfortunately some of that harassment can even be classified as "complimenting a coworkers haircut". They do NOT fuck around.
It's a real shame I don't live anywhere near one now... They explicitly build their stores off of interstate routes so they can restock fast, which means my location is doomed lol.
7:35 Oh I love that!! Calling toxic masculinity "gender affirming care" 🤣
Just a lil tap of "You're not good enough" to tell yourself in the mirror while you brush your teeth
@@braydenbanks4228 So he was taking testosterone but NOT to make himself more than he is? Like getting back onto a medical positive stasis? And not trying to be something he's not, he's not trying to bully people? What the senator was doing was forwarding his masculinity to act more MANLY! *such raging* "Gender affirming care", in this context, was being angry. It had nothing to do with taking medical testosterone. Also... HI HELLO GOOD MORNING AND ALL THAT JAZZ!!! IM TRANS! I KNOW ALL ABOUT GENDER AFFIRMING CARE 🙄
Cheers for your brother getting what he needed, but he wasn't doing it to be a violent visage of what he thinks as STRONG POWERFUL ASPECT OF MANLINESS should be, he was getting back to stable. This particular senator, he was using his violence to act violently.. and affirm his "TOP ECHELON BIG GUY ON CAMPUS" persona.
@@braydenbanks4228 That's not... That was not what anyone was talking about.
@@braydenbanks4228 They are talking about people who are obviously taking supplements for no reason, not taking testosterone for medical reasons :) They aren’t assuming you are an asshole if you take testosterone, it’s just for the guys who take drug /steroids/
7:35 that's actually the best argument against a transphobe! my mom had to take estradiol because of uterus problems and then told me I couldn't take T ever- I was like you took hormones and nothing happened
I'm already can say thet their argument woud be "but it's wömen hormone for women" And so on and so on
"But I'm a woman so it's okay for me to take estrogen"
And your son also feels unhappy with his hormones, AnderConnorHarlow's mother.
@@SilverAceOfSpades thank you lol
12:15 - Vampires can rob their victims and accumulate veritable treasure hoards during their lifetime. They can set up shell companies that exist across the generations to manage whatever real estate and other investments they buy with their ill-gotten gains. And most versions of vampire can also hypnotise people to accept that the identical stranger is definitely the legal heir of the previous CEO.
Bro how do you know that? Are you a vampire? THROW THE GARLIC BREAD AND THE SILVER CROSSES!
They're also really strong and not at all opposed to murdering people, so I can't see how they couldn't make 'a killing' on the side.
So basically a vampire is just your regular degular CEO/wall street investor/hedge fund manager
The thing about a normal mortal lifespan is that it tends to coincide with generational technology. If you learned how to work on cars in the 1950's, that knowledge would probably be enough to sustain you until 2000, perhaps with a little bit of continuing education. By the time the tech evolved to the point that you really need to consider starting from scratch, you're at the point where you can seriously consider retiring. And if not, you can likely coast in your dwindling niche market for a while relying on reputation and seniority until you are ready to call it quits. And for particularly complex subjects or where the science fundamentally changes with some new revalation, it's often better to come from ignorance. As opposed to unlearn false knowledge and re-learn the subject with an open mind as if for the first time.
So basically, living a hundred+ years presents its own issues. The wealth you accumulate can't remain YOUR wealth, since "you" shouldn't exist anymore. At least not still looking like you're in your 20's. The only way to make it work is, quite simply, rampant inheritance fraud.
17:05 I often think of the Lilo and Stitch movie. They advertised that flight scene as stitch stealing a human plane and was flying it within the city, I think. But shortly after that, 9/11 happened, so that scene had to be changed to be an alien ship and not in the city...
The plane scene is now an extra on Disney plus
Did they have to rewrite the entire movie for that? Like, writing, animation and voice acting had to be changed to fit the new theme? Props to the tireless people who worked on that film
Whenever I want to relax after a long day, an EmKay video never lets me down.
If anyone needs to make butter room temp fast and has a microwave:
Take a microwave safe mug or bowl large enough to cover your butter.
Heat up water in the dish. Dump out the water.
Upend the dish over the butter and let it sit for a few minutes.
Should help soften it without melting.
costco is actually fire like you can walk around and eat a full meal using only the free samples or you can just explore the expansive interactive map
Also they give out free stuff to anyone who can outrun the employees
“They give out free stuff to anyone who can outrun employees”
💀💀💀
Shrek would be absolutely hilarious if Samuel Jackson showed up to recruit donkey into the avengers.
14:12 Oh God, it's TTTRumperWolf
10:14
no, that's AI art 1000%. Look at how fucked up their hands are, that's always a dead giveaway, and their faces being uncanny like that is pretty typical for an AI image too
If the avengers recruited shrek, I think that’d probably be the only time I got back into the mcu
Add in the paw patrol mighty pups and itll get alot more fans unironically and ironically
Isn't that just the plot of *The Hulk*, though?
Winnie the Pooh: Blood and honey
@@JerryIsNotFunnyimagining Winnie and his friends The Godfather style got me in seizures.
I think the kid from Sixth Sense who sees dead people would be a great fit with the Avengers, although he'd probably need copious amounts of therapy to deal with the trauma of his power. On second thought, I think he should go with Charles Xavier.
Samuel L Jackson could come and sit down on the bench next to Forrest Gump and recruit him to be the team speedster. I don't see any issues with that.
Was legit gonna suggest the same movie, but instead have him come for Bruce Willis. XD
6:56 Any movie with the main character already played by Samuel L. Jackson himself.
Dude would be like, “Who the MF are you and why the F does your MFing face look like mine?”
Or, for example, imagine Master Wundu woke up in a room (at the end of RotS) and then Nick Fury walked in.
@@Riv_Falcon or, even better, recruiting a villain who killed his character in another movie. Like, imagine Nick Fury recruiting Darth Vader at the end of ANH and just how confused the Sith would be.
imagine shrek saying that
For the Avengers Initiative I’d had gone with Home Alone but current day Macaulay Culkin
My cat rescue story is I heard a noise outside while it was raining. Opened the door, and suddenly a cat walks in. I never did find an owner.
I have a cat now. Her name is Ginger and I love her.
Yummy
Ok but the thumbnail is actually something Jax would say 💀💀💀💀💀
3:50 -Most of the time it's so the game will pause when you get a phone call. IT should tell you why it needs those permissions
if I recall correctly, the bottom drawer on ovens varies depending on where you are and the age of the oven. Some older ovens (usually gas) had an additional heating element and was considered a warming tray. However more modern ones use it as a mix of storage space and access point for maintenance.
13:26 there is in fact a bottom draw in SOME ovens, not all but some of them. I never knew and still didn't know until just now it was for keep food warm.
When I hear the sentence "hurt people hurt people" I just think about the fucking Will Wood song-
same 💀
Same
I have found my people
the will wood side of youtube follows me everywhere these days. I am safe nowhere. Help
@@ZDragonimated there is no escaping us 😊😊😊
11:05 I remember there was this "seat concept" that an airline was so proud of that they literally marketed it in their airports.
The concept? NO SEATS AT ALL! You literally spend the entire flight standing up, strapped in like you're about to go on one of those standing coasters at a theme park. Imagine if the heartless bastards they get to design anti-homeless people architecture were hired to make an airline seat.
I found my cat on the way to the shop, then it turned out she was pregnant so her boyfriend decided to come find her and moved in too and now I have her 2 sons and daughter too. It turned out to be a very expensive trip to the shop.
Costco is such an insane concept. We have those kinds of bulk stores in germany, but you need to have a commercial license to go shopping there
I wonder if it'd be as crazy here if they didn't gatekeep them from anyone who doesn't own a business
I lol at the cat adoption one because i literally did find a cat living in the communal bin store and adopted him.
That's just the Cat Distribution System at work
We found our orange tigress in the woods across the street from our house during covid.
One side of her face was skinned up, leading us to believe she had been thrown from a car.
After getting to know her, I'm convinced she jumped from said car.
I found a five week old kitten literally in the street.
Everyone hold your trash cat up like Simba! Then give them a kiss from me
My third cat (first one adopted after I was born) was found in a ditch by my mom's coworker when he was a kitten and my fourth cat lived in my nana's backyard as a feral kitten before being adopted by my family.
The IT guys that said you can't deactivate old users need to be fired. Two things - how about we move the needed files to somewhere else, then deactivate the employees who are no longer with the company? And second, the three most important functions of IT jobs - backups, backups. backups.
With bosses this competent I'm absolutely sure they had IT guys for it and not normal employees making up the system themselves to do their job properly, to cut costs
dream on
14:20 i LOVE the shade at sniper haha
I never really thought that Emkay would know drama on UA-cam.
Me too
Worked at a job where previously they kept hiring contract programmers when the original programmer quit and took the source code with him. They paid to get all the programs decompiled so the temps could make the changes. The temps would, of course, put the programs they were working on in their own folders. After they completed what they were hired to change the conpany would then delete any of their "personal" folders from the system without moving the source code back to the source folder. Consequently they were missing a bunch of code when I started working on it and refused to pay for decompilation again. So I ended up completely rewiting whole modules based off the screens. It was back when programmers still got over time, so Yay.
So, something way too many people don't know is that there's a reason why nearly all apps ask for permission to make and manage phone calls. It's so they know when you get a call so it can drop into the background, pause the game, mute it's audio etc. if you don't give it that permission it just keeps going. Learned that the hard way with Spotify. 😅
I never heard about that, thanks for clearing that up! It makes sense when you actually put it that way, though.
Android permissions are weird, huh?
15:47 Good on Jon Stewart for sticking with his morals and having journalistic integrity.
I'm going to report you for making up words.
"Journalistic Integrity" -- I heard of such a thing back in the olden days, but I haven't seen it in the last 25 years, so I'm pretty sure it's fake.
the funniest thing about the senator trying to start a fight, is that while the senator was ramping up, he was saying things like "do you want to settle this" and "lets do it right now" but he was actually a little vague even if a little aggressive. and my understanding is the guy asking the questions didn't actually think he was being challenged to a fist fight at first, but just an invitation to debate about it
Nick fury: "I need you for the Avengers initiative."
Beetlejuice: say my name three times
9:42 it seems like that is ai artwork, looking at Taylor's waist, how she's missing an arm, and how it all looks like a png placed there, but benefit of the doubt
yeah thats what i was gonna say
14:50 daisy from the katamari damacy reroll game for the switch.
They have udders on their feet.
For someone like me who is Autistic and has severe generalized anxiety and over all just does not do well with crowds, Costco is a living hell and I refuse to go in unless I absolutely have to and it has to be with someone or I just can't.
For the Avengers recruitment bit, I'd have to go with Jim Carrey's the Grinch
1:35 The rabbit from Rise of the guardians (Top tier movie)
Easter bunny?
@@amirferdhany3177it's funny, because the Easter Bunny hates being called a rabbit in ROTG
How about Sandy?
1:06
The whistle killed me lmao
9:48 That's not Trump, that's Jim Carrey with a wig!
6:52 mike from the new new fnaf movie 'hey traumatized adult that has come into contact with animatronics and a yellow bunny killer at a pizzeria, we want you with Tony stark and the hulk' 😂😂
7:04
Diary of a Wimpy Kid.
Because why fucking not
4:00 for anyone who want's to know. many older engines were just setup to ask for this permission. that's why many games created on older engines such as geometry dash ask for this permission but don't use it
13:34 There is a bottom drawer. I use it to store things like pizza pans.
its a fucking broiler
not all of them have it
11:28 now I’m just imagining someone saying “ez” afterwards
Worked so ragged at last job that I passed out not five feet from the door on the floor coming home. Woke up in the morning to the 'I'm late' alarm of four alarms with no clean uniforms as I was unable to wash them the night before. Called work to tell them I would be late due to ensuring uniform was clean per the dress code. Was told to put on uniform still wet and walk the mile to work in 22F weather. That was the moment I quit the job. I am not willing to die to make you another dollar.
4:20 That's because cats themselves are comfortable. It's like that CaH with the guy who had a comfortable butt and could sit anywhere.
Home Alone would be really funny, just inviting another kid to the avengers
the fact that it's Sam O'Nella makes it infinitly funnier
9:21 gmail has that feature where you can just click a canned response, no typing required, just click and send.
6:56 Shrek
15:00 when a druid somehow *actually* dies while polymorphed
Random ass child with the only power is to forcefully make hia enemies shit so aggressively that they go up to the air
6:42 fnaf movie, depending on if you count the protagonist or afton as the "main character" its either a twitching dead body in a fursuit or a average man with slowly healing truama
Or, if a character’s name being in the title is enough to make them the main character, Freddy could also be a funny outcome.
@grayanddevpdx yeah, it really depends because William is a recurring villian and part of the main family the lore focuses on but freddy is the titular character and the protagonist is the movie protagonist so all are possible Canadian for "main character" all in different funny ways
Nick Fury at the end of Pinocchio: "what the Avengers need... is a *real* boy."
14:24 Jack she's gonna doxx you now!
13:11 i have one of those! It's a cup for slurpees (7/11's icees) that you you could get at 6 flags fiesta texas in... i wanna say 2014-2016? It's not only spiral-shaped, but also has several large holes in the middle! Yes, it holds significantly less than almost all of their other souvenir cups.
5:44 YAASSSS QUEEN
2:14 Yep. My girlfriend approves of that statement.
3:46 Can I sell my personal data willfully? Like just go to companies and go “you want to know everything about me? I’ll let you have everything. How much is being me worth to you?”
The oven drawer isn't for food, it's for baking sheets and muffin pans
13:38 - depends on the stove probably, our house had one growing up and we just used it as pan storage.
13:40 i keep my pot lids in the bottom drawer usually
15:14 Look, if your range is 4-6 you scale 100 or 30 down into the range and the answer is 6. There you go.
6:50 All Quiet on the Western Front
the australian easter bunny was a nice reference.
Fight Club, At the end it's a hungover Dyrden in a wafflehouse sitting across from SLJ as he invites him to join the Avengers because they tried dealing with Hydra the legit way and figured why not just send this psychopath after them instead.
9:09 We have that already it's called: "Sending an email with emoji in it."
The hurt people hurt people took me too long to get its original meaning.
I don't get it, what is it supposed to mean?
@@ducks2832Hurt (adjective) people (noun) hurt (verb) people (noun)
@@ducks2832 people who are hurt will hurt other people
@@ducks2832People who have been deeply, emotionally hurt in some way will go on to inflict the same or worse kind of pain on other people.
@@ducks2832 The joke is theres 2 meanings, people who were hurt will hurt other people, or someone is telling you to go hurt other people twice,
The thumbnail having Jax just makes too much sense.
5:58 About softening butter...
I'm about to change your entire life.
Take the still-wrapped stick of butter and stand it up on end on your counter so it looks like a lone skyscraper. Now get a tall glass and run it under hot water until the glass is nice and hot, but not so hot that you burn yourself. Finally, upturn the glass and put it on the counter, upside down, over the standing stick of butter. Let the butter hang out like that, under the upside-down glass, for 5 or 10 minutes (depending on how cold the butter is,) and you'll have a stick of butter that's at least mostly spreadable. It works like a charm.
Or you could, you know, keep the butter at room temperature by just keeping it outside of the fridge.
3:31 "Best I can do is big brother."
17:35. I got one dog from a shelter. They were so desperate to get rid of her that they didnt even charge me a fee. One dog was found in a hole her owner had tossed her in. One i got out of a van from an awful woman. And 2 dogs i adopted from a local vet. No time took. No prep. Just random chance. ❤ lol
1:01 Fantastic Mr. Fox
jesus christ that movie was so good
2:50 That tweet was satire. I refuse to believe otherwise
6:45 Home Alone. Then there's also an alternate timeline scene where, after fooling Thor in Avengers on the helicarrier, Loki takes a paint can on a rope to the head knocking him out, camera pans to the kid around the corner who fist pumps in celebration an runs down the hall to get Fury.
August 12th 2036 the heat death of the universe
Not bot
👍
Nice argument, however:
2006 Honda Civic
@@Soviet_Man56fr this comment section is filled with bots that have very inappropriate profile pictures
@@Kaidapro yeah it’s just filled with random ahh butts
Understandable, have a nice day
I love the asking people for rumors thing because people really do be dropping side quests
how dare you put Jax in the thumbnail over our lord and savior Sam O'Nella
1:01 *captain underpants tho?*
I think it would've been hilarious if Samuel L. Jackson showed up liveaction in an animated movie, like Nightmare Before Christmas or the 2004 SpongeBob movie
Why are there thirst traps in this comment section
Ikr
because youtube as a whole is a dumpster fire
I just wanna get higher on my lover 😏😏
Bots stealing comments
I believe they are called "sluts".
10:08 SHE'S MISSING AN ARM!!
4:47 I'm sorry, did you pronounce it "Are Can Sas Sus"?
2:40 You mean like reading Reddit on a video instead of going there?
13:21 the bottom drawer is for *what?* we stored our glass pot lids down there!
I do like how Wreck It Ralph 2 incorporated their cut scene into the movie. Maybe it was planned to have more significance, maybe it was meant to not have any significance, but I like how they went about it. Very meta, and pretty funny imo
Movie question: Love Simon. A movie where all the main character does is come out as gay and get a boyfriend, but ends with Nick Furry (a man Simon and Bram would VERY likely have a daddy crush on) just appearing in Simon’s/Bram’s room while they’re being cute, nervous little gay babies trying to cuddle but not initiate anything too serious. Daddy Fury comes in, tells Simon the world needs his help, and just whisks the pair away. Only to later find out he mistook Simon for Billy “Wiccan” Kaplan and when asked how, his excuse is “I only have one working eye, so all you edgy gay boys look alike to me.”
It's probably been said but having a scene like that at the end of the fnaf movie would be kinda dope
12:10
I’ve said it before on this same post and I’ll say it again: A little interest over a little time goes a long way over a long time.
Well marvel is owned by Disney now so theoretically any Disney movie could have Nick Fury recruiting them into the avengers… but I think I’d be hilarious if he did that in chicken little.
Sora would be neat
17:28 - Different companies handle trailers than who are making the movies, and they have to create them with the footage they are given in earlier stages of development that sometimes don't make it into the movie. A big example would be Rogue One, where the final scene of the trailer with Jyn in Imperial armor was so iconic that the marketing team didn't care that it was never going to be in the film and wanted to use it anyway. Most of the rest of the trailer's exclusive shots were cut out due to reshoots, though. Also, I know that Pixar has a habit of animating clips expressly for trailers that you'll never see in the actual movie, just because that's what they do. Like the specific scene with Ember with headphones in Elemental is stand alone.
7:42 Gotcha! Wingull was caught!
Would you like to give Wingull a nickname?