After all the buildup, I was actually worried you did something real bad, so I was then relieved it's pretty harmless. While I hate lies, I think your way to hard on yourself. From watching a few of your vids, your a very likable person, but I couldn't blindly trust anyone who I don't know more closely ...
It's worth remembering that your maladaptations started out as a good thing. They helped you survive under abnormal circumstances. It is now that you are trying to deal with normal situations, that they have become a bad thing. I also used to be a big liar/manipulator. I had to lie and manipulate when I was a child, because being reasonable with my parents didn't work. After moving out of my parents' house, I started to learn that I don't need to do these things any more. I still keep these tools in my toolbox, because they might still help me in some future unfair circumstances.
Learn from your mistakes, but don't be too hard on yourself. Shame (like all emotions) can be rational or irrational. Rational shame can drive you to improve yourself. Irrational shame can cause you to self destruct. Lying to fit in is maybe a bit uncool, but it isn't the worst crime. It's not lying that is the crime, it is hurting people with lies that is the crime. I'm sure you've done some harmful things, but this one isn't worth beating yourself up over. Learn from it, but also forgive yourself.
15:46 video start.. This is one of the most scam artist monologues I've ever listened to. Nothing has changed. it's radiating off of you. This is how people in AA meetings talk. You stalled and talked in circles and spun your wheels for a full 15 minutes.
You're being honest about your past dishonesty, and that's personal growth if you ask me. Also, you're damned brave putting these thoughts and feelings out there. I'm kind of scared of doing that myself, and I'm quite a bit older than you. I trust you :) And as others have said, don't be too hard on yourself. We all screw up when we are young. I'm still screwing up now lol. As you say, you are doing your best. That is all we can do. Also, hello :)
Thank you. The melancholy atmosphere is exactly what I needed. It's like listening to the baseline of a melody, incredibly somber, yet beautiful. I often find peace in the darkness and loneliness. It can have healing powers. In my heart I feel as though you are already on the correct path. Repentance is the way to salvation. We are all broken and fallen beings, and none of us are worthy. Yet, there are those of us who fall in love with the good of this world and turn our wandering feet towards it, while others turn away and fall in love with the vanity of this world. I would not recommend turning away from the comfort of the darkness, though, as I often enjoy visiting there from time to time myself. It's good for rest and sleep, and possibly self-punishment, if I deserve it, which I often do. I hope this has been an encouraging thought, or possibly a hard-lined rebuke of your behavior, whichever you prefer. :)
Takes balls. You did well! Had one "wtf" moment too though. You mentioned not having lied since 21. As far as trustworthiness goes, that statement alone can sound way more suspicious than all the admitted shenanigans of your childhood. Because lying has many shades of gray. For example, if you lead someone on without admitting reasonably early that this isn't serious, i.e. you are being quiet about the truth... then that could be considered as a serious sign of insincerity. Hopefully soon you are able to move on from the simplest concept of lying, and process all the upcoming stuff with similar courage. It won't be easy, I know, but I'll keep my fingers crossed. TLDR. For at least some people, the main reason for your untrustworthiness isn't your untold "dark past", but your current understanding of what a lie is or can be.
As far as building trust goes, I don't care what anybody did in the past unless it indicates they're an unfixable psychopath, which is not the case here. Beyond that starting point, it's all about taking small steps and proving yourself. It's not healthy to put full trust in ANYBODY without many steps of proof and time in between that point and meeting them!
I wrote out a response, but accidentally deleted it. So it goes. Bullet point summary: • I've listened to half of your uploads. • maybe you are dealing with complex PTSD • your reactions are natural. Trauma response, abnormal social training (social anxiety) • a lying habit/hobby is a natural response to your situation • you are not a "bad" person, lying is normal human behavior. Caveat: we must consider the benefit/cost of each lie case by case • you seem smart/aware, maybe the cause of your boredom. I can't find people to talk about such things with either. So, I read philosophy instead. Maybe you could listen to an audio book of someone like Søren Kierkegaard while you workout.
Doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human. It's the nature of the human condition to seek connection and we do wierd things just to find it. Cool thing is we now have the internet and people can talk to each other and Learn from each other and hopefully with time things change. Then we can all find the connection we need without having to compromise on who we are. Thats a future that needs building because it didn't exist before. I don't think everyone has to admit to the world what they feel they have done wrong. Instead I think everyone should learn and grow from it. If we don't remember our history we are doomed to repeat it. Like a Phoenix rise from the ashes.
To me, trust is earned over time by actions . It does not matter what you did in the past, it is about who you are now. if you keep doing actions that are in line with a trustful person over time. i will start to trust you. i belive a person can change.
I believe personality is formed at an early age and you are the product of childhood trauma pretend the most incredible person you ever met is asking you a series of questions, write them down and be very honest about the answers- no one has to read it what is wrong ? why did it happen ? what would I do different ? I loved a woman for 30 years and found her again but she didn't appreciate me and I started to hate myself for not leaving her, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I finally did leave her this gets at the heart of the matter - having integrity in your actions so that you can respect yourself honor and respect comes from integrity and virtue just keep trying and don't give up - it's ok to loose the battle but don't don't loose the war everyday is a new chance to transform your life into something wonderful the words of a loving nurturing mother - all the money in the world can't buy it - this is the kind of person we all need to try to become just be honest with yourself that person is inside you screaming to come out, no one will find that person for you
If you truly want to stop lying (to others and yourself) you have to always ask yourself: why? Why lie? For personal gain? To avoid accountability? To prevent facing and accepting painful truths? Only by reflecting on the why can you start to determine what aspect of yourself is making you choose lies over truths.
why are you hard on yourself? nobody is perfect. embraces the past mistakes, holding on it doesn't change anything. accept and moving on is the only way to move forward.
Quote by Piper Stone: “Trust is earned, not given.” So by admitting to have no problem lying. You already said, "don't trust me". But what you describe doing is just trying to fit in. In my book, if you feel comfortable lying about something "small, simple, little, not so serious" for any type of gain, or in any type of situation. It show's that "lying" is part of your "toolbox". However... Your "lies" sound more to me like a survival instinct, to fit in, to be part. And yes, it's not nice to "manipulate" people for them to like and approve you. Again, however... Challenging my point of "there are no excuses, only truth". What made you want be part of that group... Why did you "assume" you "had" to lie for them/it to accept you... How did you feel... being in that group? To sum-up, to me it sounds like a strategy with gains that you learned at an early age... And you describe it as "for others to like me" as in, i have low self esteem and need to artificially make yourself more worth, and or interesting and or ... many and or's ^^. Soon, new years-eve here in cold Sweden... To be completely open, my name is Frank, im diagnosed with ADHD and autism. So, judge me or hear me :) If there is anything you want to talk about... I would love to listen. Gott Nytt år! 🎉🎉
Emma, I totally trust you! Nobody is perfect, please stop trying to be perfect, we always try to compare to another people but it is wrong, each person is different. The only important thing is to accept the way we are, I consider you a normal and standard person, just accept yourself. I live alone since a lot of years and feel happy. Go away of your insecurities than are common in all the people.
I don't think that you are an easy person to understand who you are. But the way you talk is really impressive. don't try to be too smart. You'll earn respect.
Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re not a bad person. Reach out if you want to chat more about your situation. I can help, you are an amazing person. Thank you !
lying to yourself is probably the worst (most everyone else will eventually figure out that you're lying to them without you admitting to that sin)... anyway. at such a young age then here is a question that you can ask yourself... "are you a good person doing bad things or are you a bad person trying to do good things?" ... if you ask that question everyday, then later in life, you will find yourself with a better understanding of yourself... realize that time and experience is the master of all of us and our situations... and it is your personal decision as to how you determine you future... at least give it a try ... and just try
i trust you ... and this is why ... you seem that you have good intentions ...and that is what counts or what matters n the end ... not the past.. but now .
Unless youre underplaying things , i think youre experiencing normal growth and self reflection for your age. 20s are a time when youre supposed to figure these things out. No worries as long as you didn't do something irretrievable. You come across as a people pleaser , lying just to keep the peace or avoid discomfort. I think it comes from being hurt when you were younger. It can be from something like emotional abuse from a parent. It conditions the person to repeat dysfunctional or antisocial behaviors like malignant dishonesty. But that in itself is a normal response. It seems like you have emotional safeguards up on constant alert to prevent you from getting hurt, whatever that is. But this is an interesting discussion and I hope it's genuinely healthy for you to get opinions from people. But it seemed a bit like you made a common mistake in a relationship and then were guilted about it way out of proportion in the scheme of life. Unless there's more to the story, it's sort of the guy's responsibility to protect his integrity by walking away once it was clear he wasn't going to be reciprocated.
Don't be to hard on Your self. Things happen, we all do mistake. I get the impression you did hurt more Yourselves than any other. If you really regret something bad, why not contact that person and confront him/here personally, i am sure that works better than here on UA-cam. For minor things, Yes, do a video, but consider do You really want to post them here? Nothing wrong, just thinking 10 years ahead, everything in digital format will always follow You. Your speech is structured, intelligent but also show's pain. Fitting in is a desire we all have, but who m really fits to the group. Even in the best groups of nice people there ar typically clicks....One good person, friend, is more important then any wider group of friends IMHO. . I really hope the best for You, take care and happy new year!
I judge what you do, I care less about what you say or claim. Trust is never given up-front, it is earned. Until it is earned you do not trust someone, simple as that.
I would trust 100%. As an INFJ nobody can believe a liar. We know even before the person doesn't even know lol. Use you intuition. Find another person similar and they will check your quickly.
tinge of consciousness is always the result of conditioning. you feel bad because you didn't satisfy the expectations of someone else. people don't steal money from the homeless because they'd lose their pride. it's just not worth it for them.... simple as that. so it's high self-esteem, aka pride, that stops you from sinking low and doing questionable things. but can you have any self-esteem, when the image you have about yourself is not credible? everyone is evil. some people just hide it better. but there is beauty in evil. it's honest, at least.
we don't really live in a culture that thinks lying about something small just to make friends makes anyone a terrible person. you seem to think we do though. so someone must have confronted you about your lies to make you feel that way. you didn't just go from thinking it was ok for 20 years to feeling terrible about it by yourself. would i trust everything you say is the complete truth? of course not. i'd never trust that with anyone. it's human nature to exaggerate when we're emotional.
Young people do stretch the truth in order to fit in. How do you know others in that group were not lying as well? You need to move on from the past. You are not a bad person. I'd like to add that it's not just young people who try to fit in, but at a certain age you begin to not care about that so much. Someone told me your brain is not even fully developed until like age 27.
TLDR tip: increase playback speed to 1.2 , and jump to time index 15:00 i didn't watch many of you vids , but i never got the impression you are "Holier-than-thou" i wouldn't trust you, not because you're you, but because i don't know you and you're on youtube. but i do understand the internal inner rage toward yourself that will never end,
Im right with you. I hate when people tell how nice an warm I am. They don't know my brain goes 24/7 and nobody knows that my brain and personality is wired different. I am not a PHd but I know see you have special brain that 99% of the world cant explain how we think
Let me get this straight, you lied as a kid and into your teens in order to try to fit in? Congratulations.... you were a normal kid. I am not saying lying was/is right, but it's part of growing up pains. If any one holds it against you to this day, they are their own problem for being stuck in a time warp and need some maturing to do. This is why you forgive your school days' bullies, because we were all immature kids at that point and in order to heal and move on, you have to forgive those who have done wrong to you. This holds true going towards your direction too. It sounds like you stopped lying 4-5 years ago, if that's the case, you learnt your lesson so move on. God has already forgiven you... so, forgive yourself for being a kid. What's important is you learnt from your mistakes and made changes. And... to answer your question... yes, I would trust you in this day if I knew you in person. P.S. I thought you were going to admit you had cheated on a boyfriend or something. Don't take this in a wrong way, but a few things made me wondered if you have a mild form of autism? Please, brush this off if that's not remotely true, I am just trying to understand why this minor life experience is stuck in your head and bothering you so much.
i think you feel bad not because you lied to others but because you lied to yourself. You denied your real self to show some fake identity to outside. It has a root where this act emerging.The more you go down to this root , the more you will know yourself , therefore trust yourself. That is natural process , dont be hard on yourself.
Would not trust. You're the type of girl I would expect to switch up on someone very quickly and always put your own whims and desires first. So in that regard I would trust you to be who you are which is not a reliable and straightforward girl. As far as consequences go just look at what you might be lacking or missing in your life. Chances are it's a result of the choices you've made. Consequences are not just slaps on the wrist or tangible forms of punishment that happen only in the moment. You can also lose many things that were once possible in the future but will no longer happen.
Trust is earned. So far I have given you the benefit of the doubt. Actions speak louder than words and you are genuinely trying to be better. You should see my resume. 😮
Why are you lying? Or lied in past? You're hatred of what others perceive you as? I know in my past I've lied and lied because I'm so embarrassed of my past. I hated myself, but i kept digging a hole with lying. I've felt that shame and guilt you feel. Just love yourself and accept yourself and surrender to the Universe!
So you say whatever to be in the group. And now you admit you lied to be in the group, so you would be seen as a honest person to be accepted by the group. I think you will learn in the long run, that things are no this easy to change. That the issues are much deeper than you now think.
Wow! First time I see a person so dead inside and I have a son your age. Nothing from what you said came from your heart and you don't believe a word from it. Beating yourself doesn't makes you sincere. What can you do? Be authentic with yourself first and enjoy the life as it is.
Alot of my family was from Sweden they get that way too. My old man got out of control , Sweden is famous today for the worst women in the world so do not feel bad you are just average. You simply have some children so they can turture you crying and running all over. As for trust how far in to my arm could you bite? I don't see it hurting much. Dishonesty yes you must be related. 😊
One thing is to be held accountable for your actions and another is to bash yourself to death about your mistakes. Repent, ask forgiveness from God and from whoever you hurt or done wrong but please, do yourself a favor and move on from this guilt. It will not do you any good to live with this kind of burden in your mind.
you have a new computer or need help? I'll add it here too: Windows 7 license also works with windows 10 just install 10 without the key and enter your windows 7 key. i installed one a few days ago with win 10. it is still available. if it is slow swap harddrive to SSD. win 10 loves it.
Why should we not trust you. I didnt get the point. How can you be a bad person if you don't have the intention to hurt anybody. A bad habit doesn't make you a bad person. And having lied innocently doesn't make you a liar and untrustworthy. I think it was just you that was hurt by your habit. Because it pulled you down. But I don't see that you are a bad person. I think no need to be ashamed and being to much attached to this situation.
Are you religious? Christian perhaps? If so you know you are forgiven and you can then forgive yourself. Have you apologized to the person who was hurt? and/or asked forgiveness from them?
First off this video would do better from a lot of editing. From the sound of it, I think the video boils down to you lied but don't feel like you deserve to be trusted, because of the lies. It sounds like you want to find a group of people who you fit in with, to do this you have to find your authentic self which means being yourself finding the people who think that's good enough. Don't worry too much about coming clean about everything, just do better. I know plenty of people who have done way worse stuff when they were young and they are honestly some of the best people now, despite being unable to atone for past actions. If you are living in the past, then you are forsaking the present. Apologize to the people you need to, but for the most part just move on and work towards being who you want to be.
Would I trust you? I don't know. Maybe a little. I don't really trust people. You're right to see lying as a very bad thing though. It's just a step away from true evil. Get a little bit of hate or will/desire for destruction mixed in with a lying habit and before you know it you're existing merely to harm innocent people. So, stay human, while you can. Take your moment of seriousness seriously and "head towards the light". Not at the end of the tunnel. Not that light. I recommend Jesus.
Me watching the video waiting for Emma to get to the point of the video > 😯😶😶🧐🧐🥱😌😌😴😪 *Me dreaming of Emma confessing to actually being Hitler's mom, the worst person ever* to wake up to the fact that Emma, once again, has left us with a cliffhanger. What do you want from us Emma, a spanking? And "Would you trust me?" Nope, I would not trust you silly, that being said I don't trust anyone these days and always have some exit plans ready. But I do give everyone an equal chance and it's not my job to judge people, the Universe does that for me.
You judge yourself very harshly. As for trust,trust is earned but based on this video i dont consider who you present to be today as un-trustworthy. Which is to say i trust you as much as any stranger.. inte alls. 😅
What a bum rap for a nice sensitive guy like me. PQM - you are sleeping (PQM meets luke chable vocal pass) hook the captain: temple (j-punch tribal remix)
You still don’t seem like a bad person to me. I don’t trust you, but you seem ok apart from that. Everybody has lied at some point. As long as they don’t hurt anyone, it’s not a big deal. Also, I don’t trust you.
Hey Emma, I’ve been carrying this around for a long time now, and I don’t know if I can keep it in anymore. I’ve thought about it so many times, and I need to say it out loud, even if it’s hard: I’m hurt, and I don’t know how we got here. But I do know this-it’s because of the lie. Do you remember when things started to change between us? How everything started to feel different, like there was this invisible gap that we couldn’t bridge, no matter how hard we tried? I didn’t understand it at first. I thought maybe it was just a phase, maybe we were both just busy, but over time, I began to realize something was wrong. Something had shifted, and I couldn’t figure out why. And then I found out why. I found out that you lied to me. You told me something that wasn’t true, and at the time, I had no idea. I trusted you completely, and you didn’t give me the truth. You gave me something else-something less, something twisted. And that’s when I started to feel the distance between us. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me the full story, and I felt it. I didn’t know what to believe, and I didn’t know what was real anymore. The thing is, I get why you did it. I can see now that you were probably trying to protect me. Maybe you thought it was easier for me not to know, or that the truth would hurt me more. But what I didn’t understand then, and what I understand now, is that by lying, you hurt me in a way that was worse than the truth ever could’ve been. You didn’t just keep something from me-you kept a part of yourself from me. You built a wall, and I didn’t even know how to break it down. I don’t think you meant to hurt me, but you did. And I’ve been carrying that hurt for a long time. I felt confused, betrayed, and-honestly-pretty lost. I didn’t know how to confront you about it because I wasn’t sure if you’d even acknowledge it. I didn’t know if you even cared. I wanted to believe that things would go back to normal. That we could fix it, that we could somehow get back to where we were before. But I didn’t know how, and I don’t think you did either. And that’s what hurts the most: I don’t know if we can ever go back. I’ve spent these past few years wondering if you even cared enough to tell me the truth, or if you were just too scared, too overwhelmed. And I’ve been angry at you, but I’ve also been hurt. It’s not just about the lie itself-it’s about everything that came after. It’s about how we both let something that could’ve been worked through turn into something that felt like it would never heal. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get over this, or if I’ll ever fully understand why you didn’t trust me with the truth. But I want you to know how much it hurt me. Because it did. And it still does. I just needed you to know. I needed you to hear me.
OK 02:10 where i stopped the video. You are no exception, we all were programmed like you, some more some less, nothing special. Get over it. Release -> Sedona Method.
The lowest common denominator in your life is you being insecure. Fix this and you'll fix most of your problems from what I gather watching your videos. Example: You lied because you were insecure.
Everyone looks out for number one. The problem is that there are people who hurt others in the process , realize they do it, and then suffer from disliking themselves. It's like a survival mechanism gone haywire for some people. Avoidant types, usually.
Short answer: No
Long answer: Trust is earned, not given, and your lack of communication is preventing a buildup of it.
somtimes people talk... but say nothing
After all the buildup, I was actually worried you did something real bad, so I was then relieved it's pretty harmless. While I hate lies, I think your way to hard on yourself. From watching a few of your vids, your a very likable person, but I couldn't blindly trust anyone who I don't know more closely ...
It's worth remembering that your maladaptations started out as a good thing. They helped you survive under abnormal circumstances. It is now that you are trying to deal with normal situations, that they have become a bad thing.
I also used to be a big liar/manipulator. I had to lie and manipulate when I was a child, because being reasonable with my parents didn't work. After moving out of my parents' house, I started to learn that I don't need to do these things any more. I still keep these tools in my toolbox, because they might still help me in some future unfair circumstances.
Learn from your mistakes, but don't be too hard on yourself. Shame (like all emotions) can be rational or irrational. Rational shame can drive you to improve yourself. Irrational shame can cause you to self destruct.
Lying to fit in is maybe a bit uncool, but it isn't the worst crime. It's not lying that is the crime, it is hurting people with lies that is the crime. I'm sure you've done some harmful things, but this one isn't worth beating yourself up over. Learn from it, but also forgive yourself.
15:46 video start..
This is one of the most scam artist monologues I've ever listened to. Nothing has changed. it's radiating off of you. This is how people in AA meetings talk. You stalled and talked in circles and spun your wheels for a full 15 minutes.
You didn't actually do anything wrong you just inherently full of shit
this is not the fist time i am seeing you...and a am so thankful and happy you got some sleep...and you seem well rested ..good
You should wish you had a daughter like that.
You're being honest about your past dishonesty, and that's personal growth if you ask me. Also, you're damned brave putting these thoughts and feelings out there. I'm kind of scared of doing that myself, and I'm quite a bit older than you. I trust you :)
And as others have said, don't be too hard on yourself. We all screw up when we are young. I'm still screwing up now lol. As you say, you are doing your best. That is all we can do.
Also, hello :)
Thank you. The melancholy atmosphere is exactly what I needed. It's like listening to the baseline of a melody, incredibly somber, yet beautiful. I often find peace in the darkness and loneliness. It can have healing powers. In my heart I feel as though you are already on the correct path. Repentance is the way to salvation. We are all broken and fallen beings, and none of us are worthy. Yet, there are those of us who fall in love with the good of this world and turn our wandering feet towards it, while others turn away and fall in love with the vanity of this world. I would not recommend turning away from the comfort of the darkness, though, as I often enjoy visiting there from time to time myself. It's good for rest and sleep, and possibly self-punishment, if I deserve it, which I often do. I hope this has been an encouraging thought, or possibly a hard-lined rebuke of your behavior, whichever you prefer. :)
Takes balls. You did well! Had one "wtf" moment too though. You mentioned not having lied since 21. As far as trustworthiness goes, that statement alone can sound way more suspicious than all the admitted shenanigans of your childhood. Because lying has many shades of gray. For example, if you lead someone on without admitting reasonably early that this isn't serious, i.e. you are being quiet about the truth... then that could be considered as a serious sign of insincerity. Hopefully soon you are able to move on from the simplest concept of lying, and process all the upcoming stuff with similar courage. It won't be easy, I know, but I'll keep my fingers crossed.
TLDR. For at least some people, the main reason for your untrustworthiness isn't your untold "dark past", but your current understanding of what a lie is or can be.
I forgot to comment something on another Video:
"You can not heal in the environment that made you sick"
All the best, kind Regards, GWNN 🌹🎹
I trust no1. btw, and I don't consider myself a good person. Skål
As far as building trust goes, I don't care what anybody did in the past unless it indicates they're an unfixable psychopath, which is not the case here. Beyond that starting point, it's all about taking small steps and proving yourself. It's not healthy to put full trust in ANYBODY without many steps of proof and time in between that point and meeting them!
I wrote out a response, but accidentally deleted it. So it goes. Bullet point summary:
• I've listened to half of your uploads.
• maybe you are dealing with complex PTSD
• your reactions are natural. Trauma response, abnormal social training (social anxiety)
• a lying habit/hobby is a natural response to your situation
• you are not a "bad" person, lying is normal human behavior. Caveat: we must consider the benefit/cost of each lie case by case
• you seem smart/aware, maybe the cause of your boredom. I can't find people to talk about such things with either. So, I read philosophy instead. Maybe you could listen to an audio book of someone like Søren Kierkegaard while you workout.
Doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human. It's the nature of the human condition to seek connection and we do wierd things just to find it. Cool thing is we now have the internet and people can talk to each other and Learn from each other and hopefully with time things change. Then we can all find the connection we need without having to compromise on who we are. Thats a future that needs building because it didn't exist before. I don't think everyone has to admit to the world what they feel they have done wrong. Instead I think everyone should learn and grow from it. If we don't remember our history we are doomed to repeat it. Like a Phoenix rise from the ashes.
Naked in the Rain. ~ Dio (1987)
To me, trust is earned over time by actions . It does not matter what you did in the past, it is about who you are now. if you keep doing actions that are in line with a trustful person over time. i will start to trust you. i belive a person can change.
I believe personality is formed at an early age and you are the product of childhood trauma
pretend the most incredible person you ever met is asking you a series of questions, write them down and be very honest about the answers- no one has to read it
what is wrong ?
why did it happen ?
what would I do different ?
I loved a woman for 30 years and found her again but she didn't appreciate me and I started to hate myself for not leaving her, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I finally did leave her
this gets at the heart of the matter - having integrity in your actions so that you can respect yourself
honor and respect comes from integrity and virtue
just keep trying and don't give up - it's ok to loose the battle but don't don't loose the war
everyday is a new chance to transform your life into something wonderful
the words of a loving nurturing mother - all the money in the world can't buy it - this is the kind of person we all need to try to become
just be honest with yourself
that person is inside you screaming to come out, no one will find that person for you
If you truly want to stop lying (to others and yourself) you have to always ask yourself: why?
Why lie?
For personal gain?
To avoid accountability?
To prevent facing and accepting painful truths?
Only by reflecting on the why can you start to determine what aspect of yourself is making you choose lies over truths.
Forgive yourself for all wrong done and then forgive others for harms done to you.
Maybe sometimes it isn't about learning but listening to the one who speaks in the silence. No not your mind.
why are you hard on yourself? nobody is perfect. embraces the past mistakes, holding on it doesn't change anything. accept and moving on is the only way to move forward.
I trust you. You may share here, and you can share with me, but I suggest a therapist, too. Everything can be forgiven.
Quote by Piper Stone: “Trust is earned, not given.” So by admitting to have no problem lying. You already said, "don't trust me". But what you describe doing is just trying to fit in. In my book, if you feel comfortable lying about something "small, simple, little, not so serious" for any type of gain, or in any type of situation. It show's that "lying" is part of your "toolbox". However... Your "lies" sound more to me like a survival instinct, to fit in, to be part. And yes, it's not nice to "manipulate" people for them to like and approve you. Again, however... Challenging my point of "there are no excuses, only truth". What made you want be part of that group... Why did you "assume" you "had" to lie for them/it to accept you... How did you feel... being in that group? To sum-up, to me it sounds like a strategy with gains that you learned at an early age... And you describe it as "for others to like me" as in, i have low self esteem and need to artificially make yourself more worth, and or interesting and or ... many and or's ^^. Soon, new years-eve here in cold Sweden... To be completely open, my name is Frank, im diagnosed with ADHD and autism. So, judge me or hear me :) If there is anything you want to talk about... I would love to listen. Gott Nytt år! 🎉🎉
Emma, I totally trust you! Nobody is perfect, please stop trying to be perfect, we always try to compare to another people but it is wrong, each person is different. The only important thing is to accept the way we are, I consider you a normal and standard person, just accept yourself. I live alone since a lot of years and feel happy. Go away of your insecurities than are common in all the people.
I don't think that you are an easy person to understand who you are. But the way you talk is really impressive. don't try to be too smart. You'll earn respect.
Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re not a bad person. Reach out if you want to chat more about your situation. I can help, you are an amazing person. Thank you !
lying to yourself is probably the worst (most everyone else will eventually figure out that you're lying to them without you admitting to that sin)... anyway. at such a young age then here is a question that you can ask yourself... "are you a good person doing bad things or are you a bad person trying to do good things?" ... if you ask that question everyday, then later in life, you will find yourself with a better understanding of yourself... realize that time and experience is the master of all of us and our situations... and it is your personal decision as to how you determine you future... at least give it a try ... and just try
i trust you ... and this is why ... you seem that you have good intentions ...and that is what counts or what matters n the end ... not the past.. but now .
FYI, this gift is not for all good. Trust me, I know.
Personality can be molded and even changes over time; temperament is something that is pretty permanent.
Unless youre underplaying things , i think youre experiencing normal growth and self reflection for your age. 20s are a time when youre supposed to figure these things out. No worries as long as you didn't do something irretrievable.
You come across as a people pleaser , lying just to keep the peace or avoid discomfort. I think it comes from being hurt when you were younger. It can be from something like emotional abuse from a parent. It conditions the person to repeat dysfunctional or antisocial behaviors like malignant dishonesty. But that in itself is a normal response. It seems like you have emotional safeguards up on constant alert to prevent you from getting hurt, whatever that is. But this is an interesting discussion and I hope it's genuinely healthy for you to get opinions from people.
But it seemed a bit like you made a common mistake in a relationship and then were guilted about it way out of proportion in the scheme of life. Unless there's more to the story, it's sort of the guy's responsibility to protect his integrity by walking away once it was clear he wasn't going to be reciprocated.
Don't be to hard on Your self. Things happen, we all do mistake. I get the impression you did hurt more Yourselves than any other. If you really regret something bad, why not contact that person and confront him/here personally, i am sure that works better than here on UA-cam. For minor things, Yes, do a video, but consider do You really want to post them here? Nothing wrong, just thinking 10 years ahead, everything in digital format will always follow You. Your speech is structured, intelligent but also show's pain. Fitting in is a desire we all have, but who m really fits to the group. Even in the best groups of nice people there ar typically clicks....One good person, friend, is more important then any wider group of friends IMHO. . I really hope the best for You, take care and happy new year!
I judge what you do, I care less about what you say or claim. Trust is never given up-front, it is earned. Until it is earned you do not trust someone, simple as that.
I would trust 100%. As an INFJ nobody can believe a liar. We know even before the person doesn't even know lol. Use you intuition. Find another person similar and they will check your quickly.
tinge of consciousness is always the result of conditioning.
you feel bad because you didn't satisfy the expectations of someone else.
people don't steal money from the homeless because they'd lose their pride.
it's just not worth it for them.... simple as that.
so it's high self-esteem, aka pride, that stops you from sinking low and doing questionable things.
but can you have any self-esteem, when the image you have about yourself is not credible?
everyone is evil. some people just hide it better. but there is beauty in evil. it's honest, at least.
What that curd tutter do, though?
we don't really live in a culture that thinks lying about something small just to make friends makes anyone a terrible person. you seem to think we do though. so someone must have confronted you about your lies to make you feel that way. you didn't just go from thinking it was ok for 20 years to feeling terrible about it by yourself.
would i trust everything you say is the complete truth? of course not. i'd never trust that with anyone. it's human nature to exaggerate when we're emotional.
Young people do stretch the truth in order to fit in. How do you know others in that group were not lying as well? You need to move on from the past. You are not a bad person.
I'd like to add that it's not just young people who try to fit in, but at a certain age you begin to not care about that so much. Someone told me your brain is not even fully developed until like age 27.
TLDR tip: increase playback speed to 1.2 , and jump to time index 15:00
i didn't watch many of you vids , but i never got the impression you are "Holier-than-thou"
i wouldn't trust you, not because you're you, but because i don't know you and you're on youtube.
but i do understand the internal inner rage toward yourself that will never end,
And I come from a empathy and understanding
I trust you because I know you, not what you say. I know what isn't said. But you are special. Embrace that gift. Its real
No
Im right with you. I hate when people tell how nice an warm I am. They don't know my brain goes 24/7 and nobody knows that my brain and personality is wired different. I am not a PHd but I know see you have special brain that 99% of the world cant explain how we think
Let me get this straight, you lied as a kid and into your teens in order to try to fit in? Congratulations.... you were a normal kid. I am not saying lying was/is right, but it's part of growing up pains. If any one holds it against you to this day, they are their own problem for being stuck in a time warp and need some maturing to do. This is why you forgive your school days' bullies, because we were all immature kids at that point and in order to heal and move on, you have to forgive those who have done wrong to you. This holds true going towards your direction too. It sounds like you stopped lying 4-5 years ago, if that's the case, you learnt your lesson so move on. God has already forgiven you... so, forgive yourself for being a kid. What's important is you learnt from your mistakes and made changes. And... to answer your question... yes, I would trust you in this day if I knew you in person.
P.S. I thought you were going to admit you had cheated on a boyfriend or something. Don't take this in a wrong way, but a few things made me wondered if you have a mild form of autism? Please, brush this off if that's not remotely true, I am just trying to understand why this minor life experience is stuck in your head and bothering you so much.
In rehab we were challenged to go one day without lying, it was eye opening
i think you feel bad not because you lied to others but because you lied to yourself. You denied your real self to show some fake identity to outside.
It has a root where this act emerging.The more you go down to this root , the more you will know yourself , therefore trust yourself.
That is natural process , dont be hard on yourself.
Would not trust. You're the type of girl I would expect to switch up on someone very quickly and always put your own whims and desires first. So in that regard I would trust you to be who you are which is not a reliable and straightforward girl. As far as consequences go just look at what you might be lacking or missing in your life. Chances are it's a result of the choices you've made. Consequences are not just slaps on the wrist or tangible forms of punishment that happen only in the moment. You can also lose many things that were once possible in the future but will no longer happen.
Trust is earned. So far I have given you the benefit of the doubt. Actions speak louder than words and you are genuinely trying to be better. You should see my resume. 😮
Why are you lying? Or lied in past? You're hatred of what others perceive you as? I know in my past I've lied and lied because I'm so embarrassed of my past. I hated myself, but i kept digging a hole with lying. I've felt that shame and guilt you feel. Just love yourself and accept yourself and surrender to the Universe!
Or to your higher power/God.
I trust you. I think you are too hard on yourself in this case.
Lying isn't always bad
So you say whatever to be in the group. And now you admit you lied to be in the group, so you would be seen as a honest person to be accepted by the group.
I think you will learn in the long run, that things are no this easy to change. That the issues are much deeper than you now think.
Wow! First time I see a person so dead inside and I have a son your age. Nothing from what you said came from your heart and you don't believe a word from it. Beating yourself doesn't makes you sincere.
What can you do? Be authentic with yourself first and enjoy the life as it is.
sure I could trust you...
Alot of my family was from Sweden they get that way too. My old man got out of control , Sweden is famous today for the worst women in the world so do not feel bad you are just average. You simply have some children so they can turture you crying and running all over.
As for trust how far in to my arm could you bite? I don't see it hurting much. Dishonesty yes you must be related. 😊
Keep on duing what u du u keep it real 💙
I've done way way worse and I'm fine. You'll be fine.
Oml you are gorgeous
One thing is to be held accountable for your actions and another is to bash yourself to death about your mistakes. Repent, ask forgiveness from God and from whoever you hurt or done wrong but please, do yourself a favor and move on from this guilt. It will not do you any good to live with this kind of burden in your mind.
you have a new computer or need help?
I'll add it here too:
Windows 7 license also works with windows 10 just install 10 without the key and enter your windows 7 key. i installed one a few days ago with win 10. it is still available.
if it is slow swap harddrive to SSD. win 10 loves it.
@Creatingrain Hmm… Do you believe your actions were very much justified?
Do you know who reviewbro is?
After 7 minutes I haven't heard anything. I'm leaving and going to p-hub where they get to the point.
What are bad things u have done u don't have to say if u don't want to
Why should we not trust you. I didnt get the point. How can you be a bad person if you don't have the intention to hurt anybody. A bad habit doesn't make you a bad person. And having lied innocently doesn't make you a liar and untrustworthy. I think it was just you that was hurt by your habit. Because it pulled you down. But I don't see that you are a bad person.
I think no need to be ashamed and being to much attached to this situation.
We all said some weird stuff as teens i am sure of it !
Are you religious? Christian perhaps? If so you know you are forgiven and you can then forgive yourself. Have you apologized to the person who was hurt? and/or asked forgiveness from them?
First off this video would do better from a lot of editing.
From the sound of it, I think the video boils down to you lied but don't feel like you deserve to be trusted, because of the lies.
It sounds like you want to find a group of people who you fit in with, to do this you have to find your authentic self which means being yourself finding the people who think that's good enough. Don't worry too much about coming clean about everything, just do better. I know plenty of people who have done way worse stuff when they were young and they are honestly some of the best people now, despite being unable to atone for past actions. If you are living in the past, then you are forsaking the present. Apologize to the people you need to, but for the most part just move on and work towards being who you want to be.
Would I trust you? I don't know. Maybe a little. I don't really trust people. You're right to see lying as a very bad thing though. It's just a step away from true evil. Get a little bit of hate or will/desire for destruction mixed in with a lying habit and before you know it you're existing merely to harm innocent people. So, stay human, while you can. Take your moment of seriousness seriously and "head towards the light". Not at the end of the tunnel. Not that light. I recommend Jesus.
watched for 1 second
No
very brave !!
Nope.
other than that how is your day emma .. good i hope.
Come on, let`s hear about the bad things you have done..
You look very awesome... watching from Asia
Me watching the video waiting for Emma to get to the point of the video > 😯😶😶🧐🧐🥱😌😌😴😪 *Me dreaming of Emma confessing to actually being Hitler's mom, the worst person ever* to wake up to the fact that Emma, once again, has left us with a cliffhanger. What do you want from us Emma, a spanking? And "Would you trust me?" Nope, I would not trust you silly, that being said I don't trust anyone these days and always have some exit plans ready. But I do give everyone an equal chance and it's not my job to judge people, the Universe does that for me.
Men va fan Emma, har du inte fixat katthyllan än?. Du kan ju inte vara med i det coola gänget om du har rosa razorhörlurar och en nalle i knät. :P
You judge yourself very harshly. As for trust,trust is earned but based on this video i dont consider who you present to be today as un-trustworthy.
Which is to say i trust you as much as any stranger.. inte alls. 😅
What a bum rap for a nice sensitive guy like me.
PQM - you are sleeping (PQM meets luke chable vocal pass)
hook the captain: temple (j-punch tribal remix)
If anyone asks.. No.. Somethig just... I bet 100lb of English gold you look a lot like Joan of arc... Weild a sword :)
You still don’t seem like a bad person to me. I don’t trust you, but you seem ok apart from that. Everybody has lied at some point. As long as they don’t hurt anyone, it’s not a big deal.
Also, I don’t trust you.
Hey Emma,
I’ve been carrying this around for a long time now, and I don’t know if I can keep it in anymore. I’ve thought about it so many times, and I need to say it out loud, even if it’s hard: I’m hurt, and I don’t know how we got here. But I do know this-it’s because of the lie.
Do you remember when things started to change between us? How everything started to feel different, like there was this invisible gap that we couldn’t bridge, no matter how hard we tried? I didn’t understand it at first. I thought maybe it was just a phase, maybe we were both just busy, but over time, I began to realize something was wrong. Something had shifted, and I couldn’t figure out why.
And then I found out why. I found out that you lied to me. You told me something that wasn’t true, and at the time, I had no idea. I trusted you completely, and you didn’t give me the truth. You gave me something else-something less, something twisted. And that’s when I started to feel the distance between us. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me the full story, and I felt it. I didn’t know what to believe, and I didn’t know what was real anymore.
The thing is, I get why you did it. I can see now that you were probably trying to protect me. Maybe you thought it was easier for me not to know, or that the truth would hurt me more. But what I didn’t understand then, and what I understand now, is that by lying, you hurt me in a way that was worse than the truth ever could’ve been. You didn’t just keep something from me-you kept a part of yourself from me. You built a wall, and I didn’t even know how to break it down.
I don’t think you meant to hurt me, but you did. And I’ve been carrying that hurt for a long time. I felt confused, betrayed, and-honestly-pretty lost. I didn’t know how to confront you about it because I wasn’t sure if you’d even acknowledge it. I didn’t know if you even cared.
I wanted to believe that things would go back to normal. That we could fix it, that we could somehow get back to where we were before. But I didn’t know how, and I don’t think you did either. And that’s what hurts the most: I don’t know if we can ever go back.
I’ve spent these past few years wondering if you even cared enough to tell me the truth, or if you were just too scared, too overwhelmed. And I’ve been angry at you, but I’ve also been hurt. It’s not just about the lie itself-it’s about everything that came after. It’s about how we both let something that could’ve been worked through turn into something that felt like it would never heal.
I don’t know if I’ll ever fully get over this, or if I’ll ever fully understand why you didn’t trust me with the truth. But I want you to know how much it hurt me. Because it did. And it still does.
I just needed you to know. I needed you to hear me.
Please reach out to me on my IG so we can talk it out!
@ Sorry, this was just some story I made up with ChatGPT to troll. Have a nice evening! 😬
If we were having conversation face to face and I'd call you in this right now lol. There is 30% of your story is not total to bed told lol
boring video, couldnt watch it all but from what i saw youre just growing up - dont be so hard on yourself and move on as a better human
Nej.
Good morning from Mexico Emma!
OK 02:10 where i stopped the video. You are no exception, we all were programmed like you, some more some less, nothing special. Get over it. Release -> Sedona Method.
The lowest common denominator in your life is you being insecure. Fix this and you'll fix most of your problems from what I gather watching your videos.
Example: You lied because you were insecure.
Please talk Swedish once
Min mormor hade de värst luktande pruttarna. Det luktade kål och snuskig diarré
This should be done in a confessional with a priest. I'm not sure the value of putting it on UA-cam.
Truthfully? No. You're nice to look at, but let's be honest: You are all about looking out for NUMBER ONE (you). It's all about YOU.
Everyone looks out for number one. The problem is that there are people who hurt others in the process , realize they do it, and then suffer from disliking themselves. It's like a survival mechanism gone haywire for some people. Avoidant types, usually.
Don't do this on YT. Immorality is the business of religion. Professionals are there, with guidance and compassion.
she says she wants to get better though
Impressive indeed, precious heart.
💜✝️
How is your relationship with Christ?
the shame and fear associated with abrahamic religions is the last thing that helps anyone.
No
No