Why do a lot of adult narcissists act like kids? | The Narcissists' Code Ep 66Six

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  • Опубліковано 19 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 224

  • @Dewree69
    @Dewree69 Рік тому +79

    I’m starting to think Karens are just narcissistic women that got stuck at 7 years old. Would explain a lot, to be honest 😂

  • @johncrandall5782
    @johncrandall5782 Рік тому +34

    I used to complain that I couldn’t tell if my narc ex was 43 going on 80 or going on 5. Not only did she act like a child, but she used to talk like one. She used baby talk excessively

  • @rememberselfcare
    @rememberselfcare Рік тому +14

    The older my narcissist ex got, the more immature ways he exhibited. He went from the silent treatment to completely closing himself off in a bedroom like he was on punishment and got sent to his room.

  • @bettycarmella1127
    @bettycarmella1127 Рік тому +60

    So true Lee!! My goodness I taught preschool (4yr olds) for 10 years and saw more maturity in some of them than him😩 super frustrating.
    Interestingly they don’t respond the same way to positive reinforcement that kids do. Once I realized how immature he was I started using techniques that worked with my kiddos and it made him worse🤦🏽‍♀️ the nicer and kinder I was the angrier he got. By the way he’s a doctor

    • @lorrainefrasier4096
      @lorrainefrasier4096 Рік тому

      They see kindest as weakness. They don't respect that. You might have to pull that inner bitch out. 😁

    • @audreajolie
      @audreajolie Рік тому +3

      Wow a doctor acting childish.

    • @bettycarmella1127
      @bettycarmella1127 Рік тому +6

      @@audreajolie yep! he’s a whole doctor and he’s 40🤦🏽‍♀️Definitely didn’t expect him to act like a 2 year old

    • @audreajolie
      @audreajolie Рік тому +6

      @@bettycarmella1127 That's insane

    • @poison_plays
      @poison_plays Рік тому +1

      @@themvsherit’s like how Lee says-when they’re cruel to us and we’re nice to them, they think it means they have an excuse to treat us worse and worse, because they think we’re okay with it. So hard to understand, I’m thankful he explains it to us

  • @francescamiller4340
    @francescamiller4340 Рік тому +24

    I've tried to be patient with the Narc, but sometimes I forget their mentality ill & restrain myself from getting upset. Thanks for reminding me about arrested development Lee!

    • @patsy9947
      @patsy9947 Рік тому +4

      I declare!!! Bless their heart, I thought the same way you do. But my patience ran out!!! They knew what they were doing all along, go ahead and piss off good!!!! And watch um have a total meltdown. They told me they had PTSD. Every time I caught um lying 🤥 they had a excuse!!! Now they saying they got cancer!!! I never know what to believe anymore!!!! This one more rollercoaster ride!!!! Like no other!!! Dang just let me off 📴 so I can 🤮🤮🤮🤮

    • @taraarrington2285
      @taraarrington2285 Рік тому

      Yes it's good to remember they are mentally ill. Instead of feeling anger I feel pity.

  • @lorrainefrasier4096
    @lorrainefrasier4096 Рік тому +16

    With all this new awareness there may be a lot of relationship break ups happening. Take the time to heal when it ends so you don't end up in another toxic relationship. Boundaries and what you will not tolerate right up front in any new relationship. The narcs are out there looking for someone vulnerable, don't get reeled in.
    It truly is amazing just how immature they are.

  • @CaribbeanGlow
    @CaribbeanGlow Місяць тому +1

    Arrested development is so true. I was with the narc ex (NEX) at 19 and he was 22. When I hit 25 it's like my brain finished uploading and his was buffering at the age range between 9-13. I felt myself emotionally and intellectually becoming an adult while I was dealing with an adult baby, and the NEX constantly use the same phrases "you treat me like a child, I'm a big man!" whenever he was faced with a slither of criticism and constantly told me whenever I wasn't into behaving like a silly hyperactive child he would he say "I miss you when you were younger" aka at 19, still childish and taking on his BS.
    In the end he never matured. I wanted a man, not a child having constantly seeking a mommy he could fk. The silent treatment got worse as the years went on, tantrums, and projecting his bad behaviours into me whenever I brought them up, accusing ME of doing them instead of him doing them.
    He quickly found another supply to mommy him after claiming he will never date after I DUMPED him and quickly went NC.

  • @godschilds5268
    @godschilds5268 Рік тому +18

    My ex narc fiance acted very childish when we would watch a movie and I placed more attention on the movie and not him. He would throw temper tantrums when we were not intimate in the morning because to him it started his day. I had no voice and I was even afraid to tell him when his cooking was not fully cooked or if I did not want to eat it. Oh my gosh he would throw back in my face things from my past that I confided in him. He ridiculed people and spoke negative about people and if I did not give him admiration validation or made him feel that he was the center of attention he would ignore me talk nasty to me and in two occasions almost got physical. He is very toxic and he hates to be corrected. Being with him destroyed me in many ways. He said all his 4 failed marriages were not his fault. He is toxic to the core.

    • @makingmelody
      @makingmelody Рік тому +1

      Glad you dodged that one! 😅

    • @godschilds5268
      @godschilds5268 Рік тому +2

      @@makingmelody thank you he was horrible. He would keep telling me that I will regret leaving him because no other man would ever love me like he did.

    • @jent6476
      @jent6476 Рік тому +1

      I hate it when they do that! Bring up things from the past told in confidentiality.. try to use it against you. So twisted. Just another way they try to manipulate 🤷‍♀️. Glad you got out sis

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 7 місяців тому

      Ofcorse all four wasn't his fault 😂 come on now

  • @ms.j.7095
    @ms.j.7095 Рік тому +1

    And the weird part is that a narcissist does not want your love. So why in the world would you be giving your gift of love to them? That is the truth. They will just throw your love back in your face. And you of course will get hurt. Wow. Lee you are telling the truth.

  • @melodythomas9460
    @melodythomas9460 Рік тому +4

    lmao can we just take a sec to acknowledge and appreciate the part @8:15. "i'm an emotional teenager now guys!" i'm sorry but all of that was too cute and brought a big smile to my face. you can see your genuine excitement about the growth you've made and it's awesome to witness. thanks for sharing and being vulnerable with us 💛💛💛

  • @Reikinativehealer
    @Reikinativehealer Рік тому +3

    True you will go crazy trying to help a narcissist and this is coming from me: a person who has a degree in counseling and social work who got tricked and caught up with a narcissist who damaged my spirit, soul, and heart. The narcissist is bleeding out constantly and will bleed and kill your spirit if you let them

  • @kjbrocky
    @kjbrocky Рік тому +9

    Even though learning from you makes me even more infuriated with narcissists, you are doing an EXCELLENT job at enlightening us!! Many thanks!!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +2

      You are so welcome

    • @marmeg1118
      @marmeg1118 Рік тому +3

      Don’t let it infuriate you because their sick. What I do believe is regardless of them being sick you do not have to live and be in that sickness. Just see it for what it is and what it’s not. Focus on the experience and how you learned to never again get involved with another Narc. You’ll see the sign early on while dating and in the relationship and can early on walk away. You got this! You won and if they don’t get help they’ll continue to lose. As long as your not losing anymore that’s all that counts. Go be happy and do not let them continue to hold you down with anger either. ❤

  • @MY-im5qp
    @MY-im5qp 10 місяців тому +1

    My ex-husband literally did the whole fingers in the ear. I can't make this stuff up. Arrested Development is spot on!

  • @blen740
    @blen740 Рік тому +26

    I think that's what bothered me most about my narcissist. Her level of childishness. It exceeded anything I'd ever dealt with before and I've been dealing with children since I was a child myself. Throwing things when she's angry, screaming and locking herself in her room, hiding things she knows you want and need. She's literally like a toddler on steroids! You fully expect her to self destruct at any moment. I'm gonna have to learn more about this arrested development theory. Would love to know what could have happened to her during childhood (I'm older than she is and we grew up in the same house) to make her the way that she is.

    • @poison_plays
      @poison_plays Рік тому

      It’s bizarre, isn’t it? Mine acted like a junior high age kid a lot of the time. Such a mindf*** to see someone in their 30s (in my case) throw tantrums like an angry teen, then turn around and try to call me irrational for worrying she might hurt one of our cats slamming a door in a fit of rage. (Never even mind that’s a childhood trauma trigger for me, ofc.)

  • @1991windsor
    @1991windsor Рік тому +7

    It's because narcissists mature intellectually but not emotionally. I totally believe it's genetic. Studies have shown they lack gray matter in the brain where empathy is formed in most neurotypical children around the age of 5.

  • @patsy9947
    @patsy9947 Рік тому +5

    I swear to God!!!! I can't understand why they don't know how to have a conversation!!!! Just boggles my mind!!!

  • @graceb3934
    @graceb3934 Рік тому +9

    Thank you so much for addressing this! I agree on one level (yes, definitely arrested development plays a big part in the disorder) but I also think that some narcissistic people intentionally replicate childish behaviours in order to appear more likeable, vulnerable, honest...I have witnessed this many times in narcissistic folk, and I've witnessed the jekyll & Hyde when they drop the childish act...and that's what it is, AN ACT!

  • @blivion
    @blivion Рік тому +26

    This gives so much insight. I understand that narcissism is a spectrum, so it seems that arrested development can manifest itself differently in each person. I have borderline tendencies and see my own unique arrested development in myself. Congrats on graduating to a teen emotionally I definitely can relate 😁 My adult self is currently learning how to parent my younger self and it's not easy

    • @fenlandwildlifeclips
      @fenlandwildlifeclips Рік тому

      Can you please explain hpw shame avoidance? How does doing shameful things help narcs avoid shame? No one can explain...

    • @blivion
      @blivion Рік тому

      @@fenlandwildlifeclips that's a good question. My take on it is that someone high on the spectrum live from a delusional mindset. If they do something shameful to avoid shame it is purely from that delusion. The protective wall they have created from childhood. It keeps them from seeing the truth

    • @fenlandwildlifeclips
      @fenlandwildlifeclips Рік тому

      @blivion Okay, so what does high on the spectrum mean? & why do people "low" on the spectrum also do it?

    • @blivion
      @blivion Рік тому +1

      @@fenlandwildlifeclips being high on the spectrum means that the tendency for narcissism is more severe. The delusional protective barrier is more pronounced and higher likelihood they will not become self aware. People lower on the spectrum still have these tendencies, but more likely able to learn and grow from their mistakes. This defines people who are closer to being neurotypical. Every human has narcissistic tendencies

    • @fenlandwildlifeclips
      @fenlandwildlifeclips Рік тому

      @blivion That is complete nonsense. I'm autistic and "high functioning autism" means you have average or above average intelligence. Most people on the spectrum don't like functioning language because of the issues it causes. You just made that up, there's no such diagnostuc term.

  • @cynthiagram671
    @cynthiagram671 Рік тому +16

    They take a child's personality when they feel ignored, or to receive attention

    • @cynthiawhite681
      @cynthiawhite681 Рік тому +1

      Yes I believe you 🙏

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +1

      😔😔

    • @maydavis7589
      @maydavis7589 Рік тому

      I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were he was going to kill himself if I didn't do what was asked, he would punch pillows or sofa, stand up against me and yell at my face, stand behind the car and not let me leave, sometimes we would be driving and he would threaten to swerve and hit any truck, hold my arms and shake me, push me aside to a wall, and much more. My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me. I wasn’t allowed to visit my family or friends. If I did or wanted to, I had to be ready for an argument. Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their son. Recently, I found out he was cheating on me and had a girlfriend. After seeing the texts and pictures, I became numb. I've been a good wife, I listened to every insult and fight. I never gave up what I knew, thanks to this hacker who's helped me to extract enough information from his device. Someone on here shared a link to the hacker who helped cloned his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to him and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and his long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him
      Email:
      instagram.com/mark_clinton2424/

    • @cynthiawhite681
      @cynthiawhite681 Рік тому

      @@maydavis7589 🙏🙏🙏

    • @MakeAmericagreatAgainEVH
      @MakeAmericagreatAgainEVH 6 годин тому

      THIS is a huge one ☝️ so correct

  • @roccafille
    @roccafille Рік тому +11

    My former friend just randomly texted asked today we: "are we ghetto children?" Mind you she is 33 years old and has two kids... Yet she appearently thinks of herself as a child 🤷🏾‍♀️. Im very low contact with her so no hard feelings anymore. It was kind of a funny that she secretly admitted to be immature tho 🤣.

  • @FrisbeeGirl
    @FrisbeeGirl Рік тому +1

    I cannot tell you how much clarity and validation your vids bring. My female birth parent is tests across several of the "N" spectrums. To people who know her it's often, "NOOO, surely not *her*!! She's so sweet and couldn't harm a fly!" To people who don't know her it's usually, "How can she be so bad but you're ok? You must have been making things up." Eventually people get a taste of her true "charm" and switch up their stories right quick. I have even, rightfully, been accused as her enabler [usually as a child when people did not heed my warnings.] YESSIR! Survival skills at their very best, thankyouverymuch!
    As her child, and often caregiver, it was easy to simply see her as someone who needed to handled delicately and I have mad skilz at that. The biggest problem is getting people to see that with out the b*tchslap of reality that comes with engaging with her. What I lovelovelove about your vids is that you never hide your charm and likeability while explaining with zero remorse how a narcisisst thinks and operates. DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. You have given me YEARS of LIFE and healing to my sanity by being open, engaging, and unapologetically real.
    I love that you reference Dr. Ramani as the two of you offer such great insight. As a clinician, she is amazing and you, making it super real, is so choice. Trust me when I say that I share you all the time. Thank you for sharing the journey; it means so much to so many of us.

  • @maxspears6030
    @maxspears6030 Рік тому +22

    You remind me of my adult son, Mental Healness. Listening to you gives me hope for my boy growing up one day. Not for me, I’m good without him. He needs to grow for himself. Safe journey Brother 💜🫶🏾💜

  • @nomadic_orthodox
    @nomadic_orthodox Рік тому +4

    I was always seeking an explanation for why my ex-husband acts and speaks how he did or still does. Thanks a lot! Watching your videos is like putting puzzle pieces together.

  • @gsimonin1
    @gsimonin1 Рік тому +2

    Preach it! I hear you. Sounds like we had similar families - I was made to assume childcare, laundry, cooking, & house cleaning duties at age 10. I was taught to be codependent and take care of everyone except myself and hide all my emotions because mom and dad couldn’t deal with them/me.
    Now I look for ways to have fun, enjoy life and relax.
    Took me awhile to grow up emotionally; I feel like I’m almost where I need to be.
    Always room for improvement, I think.

  • @Ms_TK_Washington
    @Ms_TK_Washington Рік тому +13

    Omg yes I was waiting for you to covered this topic... my toxic/narc husband is such a man-child

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +2

      😔

    • @DollyM124
      @DollyM124 Рік тому

      Lol that’s what I call my ex narc

    • @Indy__isnt_it
      @Indy__isnt_it Рік тому +2

      For me it was one of the first things I noticed was his childish behaviour. I thought it was an act until the pattern was connecting dots

    • @poisonivy5506
      @poisonivy5506 Рік тому +1

      Same!!!! He gets mad and says I treat him like a child when he acts like one.

    • @QueenBee-fg1iz
      @QueenBee-fg1iz Рік тому +1

      My ex is emotionally stunted also. His adult children have noticed and commented that he acts like a little kid!

  • @confusedwhynot
    @confusedwhynot Рік тому +2

    Because their childhood was a disaster. You can't fix them. You have to let them be!! They have to find their own way. If they do not want to go to therapy it won't get better.

  • @teresarenee3829
    @teresarenee3829 Рік тому +3

    Yup. I cannot talk to my husband about anything he does wrong, he acts like I am picking on him, even though he completely ignores me unless he wants something, so my feelings are unimportant to him, and I have no hope of being happy in my marriage. He is also alcoholic, and it is his mistress, he only cares about his time drinking.

  • @renegade-master29
    @renegade-master29 Рік тому +2

    They are often categorised off as stuck in the mindset of a 10 year old

  • @jessicaleeshannon
    @jessicaleeshannon Рік тому +1

    You help me so much...in calming my heart...I just got out of a toxic relationship and life didn't make sense....I am recently widowed and this man was very quick to be in a relationship with me. He didn't give me the respect I needed as I was healing and moving forward from the death of my spouse. That man and I were engaged...but we broke up. I have been watching your videos and they bring me great comfort and answers my questions. This one has a gem of a statement..."I can't control what happened in my youth, but I am responsible for what happens in my adulthood." I think we all could hear that no matter how great our parents and life was as a kid. It really even applies to the fact that we can't control what others did to us or around us even as adults, we are responsible for ourselves and what we do. We all should work on being better people and better adults. So I am going to keep working on me and healing and overcoming what I just went through in that relationship that was over a year. I am thankful and feel blessed that he and I didn't marry...that would have been so hard. I am thankful to have found your videos. You gave me the courage and understanding of why it is so important to go no contact with this man. My therapist and my mom also told me before you did to go no contact...but you made it very clear in several videos why that is an important step to take...and, of course, this man still wants to be in my life, on his terms in such a one-sided relationship where he expects me to continue to give and give. I can't. I love him, but I can't put myself through that anymore. My middle name is Lee, too, by the way. Thanks again for what you do!

  • @cynthiagram671
    @cynthiagram671 Рік тому +26

    70 year old acting 14

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +4

      😩😩😩

    • @quettalogan3295
      @quettalogan3295 Рік тому +5

      I Was Blown Away When I Seen This In Real life!

    • @patsy9947
      @patsy9947 Рік тому +1

      I know you right 😂😂😂

    • @DollyM124
      @DollyM124 Рік тому +4

      Man I know one… old af and miserable af.

    • @patsy9947
      @patsy9947 Рік тому

      @@DollyM124 lol 😂 I ain't up for it!!! I just can't!!!! Get somebody else to do it!!! 😂

  • @marsha04053
    @marsha04053 Рік тому +2

    We are separated and he's stubborn as hell.want listen.always putting me in silent treatment when I get on to him.

  • @bonniekesic8040
    @bonniekesic8040 Рік тому +3

    My Narcussist came from a family that had money. The mom stayed home and the dad worked, alot. He decided to leave at 15 years old. But he was a Narcussist! NPD! He died eight months ago at 58 years old but still acted like a teenager.

  • @brigitte9999
    @brigitte9999 Рік тому +5

    I always said my parents were stuck at age 16. I say 16 because they physically matured but that’s it. And 16 is just mostly physically matured but no wisdom no emotional maturity. Any action that appeared adult was to prevent public humiliation like a teenager.

  • @Mllascelles1
    @Mllascelles1 Рік тому +2

    Okay I see. Thank you for adding the important factors 1) self raised and 2) no parental guidance regarding empathy. I couldn’t comprehend however I can process this so it makes sense. Thank you Lee.

    • @deb2319
      @deb2319 Рік тому

      Study Consciousness & Practice empathy ..learn it. You might open yourself deeper inside your heart for the people who are positive in your current life. BE WELL

  • @B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786
    @B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786 Рік тому +5

    This is why its best to take time to learn who men really are.
    Im old enough to say.
    That the beginnings are always spectacular no matter who your with.
    But you can save yourself alot of trouble & time!
    And find out EXACTLY WHO THEY ARE.
    if you can just withold your sweet cheeks for 3! Months.!
    Its all it takes.
    3 months of trying to get ti the truth
    As opposed to years WASTED on someone who will NEVER g.a.F! About you!
    And what you think !
    And what you want respected!
    Hold onto your pants or youll get the most disrespectful mthr ever!
    Again!

  • @monicacalifornia9693
    @monicacalifornia9693 Рік тому +5

    Thank you Lee ❤️I’m crying now as this video helps to understand my parents,siblings and myself 🙌🌸

  • @unchaineDLife
    @unchaineDLife Рік тому +3

    Not even kidding, I have more intelligent and emotionally stable conversations with my 3 young daughters. Ages 6,4, and 2.... My 2 year old is delayed in speech (she's doing speech therapy now) but she literally... Has the most level headed emotions I've ever witnessed lmao and she is very intelligent and found other ways to communicate... How in the world did I allow my empathy go so deep for people who can't even take responsibility and grow tf up. I was extremely abused too... And we all have choices to make. Narcissists made their choice just like non narcissists made theirs. I've lost all sympathy and empathy for these "people" because I have intelligent conversations with my toddlers. GTFOH

  • @RaeLove100
    @RaeLove100 Рік тому +2

    It’s so crazy you are talking about this today message I definitely needed but today of all days this is just what I needed and a sign

  • @airenmoonwolf2520
    @airenmoonwolf2520 Рік тому +2

    I am also proud of you! Growing up the first time is difficult but having to do the same work as an adult is like trying to pick up the world and hold it up. So many people fail or don't even try. You have helped me so much in my own trauma story to understand why and what the hell was going through my parent's mind's. Keep on keeping on, you truly sound like you got this!

  • @ravenmeyer3740
    @ravenmeyer3740 Рік тому +4

    I sure like you. Emotional intelligence. Well, people don’t like me, so I guess I don’t have emotional intelligence. I can relate to what you are saying. Not easy being different, and not understanding why. It takes years to grow, at least for me anyway. I’m pleased that you are growing. You will begin to see the world through a different perspective. 😊

  • @meganengland3252
    @meganengland3252 Рік тому +6

    I feel like Im in Vegas with this opening.

  • @zarahsgarden2097
    @zarahsgarden2097 Рік тому +20

    I realize you're mostly speaking on your own experience but do you ever touch on other personality disorders like sociopathy or psychopathy? Both are narcissistic but also have some differences (ie. Psychos are meticulous and planned out while sociopaths are highly impulsive). As an empath I find this topic very interesting, thank you for sharing your insights.

    • @specialtwice4975
      @specialtwice4975 Рік тому +4

      I think he mainly speaks on npd, however there are other channels on UA-cam like psychopathEXposure or begood4000 which talks about both.
      Psychopathy and sociopathy are different from Npd. They do show some similarities but how they are at their core is...different.
      Npd is more "I'm better than you" or "You are wrong, only I am right." or "You know, maybe you should study harder? You CLEARLY don't know as much about the subject as I do."
      Smugness, arrogance, superiority, ego, etc.
      Very me, me, me, me, and child like in their behavior. Most of the time they don't plan and if they embarrass you, hurt your feelings, or anger you, it's not personal, they just don't notice you enough to care.
      But they also have low self esteem, sometimes extreme. However, I have stood up to an npd and made them cry.
      Psychopaths and sociopaths meanwhile don't need that, at all.
      They are more...sneaky, cunning, observant, dark, scheming, etc.
      You can't make a psychopath cry, you can't make them do anything.
      They are the darkness we are afraid of at night, the crack of a twig in a lonely wood, the howl of a mysterious creature and then a chill down your spine.
      They are more dangerous, more creepy.
      Npd it's like "whoops, didn't see you there. Oh! sorry can't help you up I have more important places to be."
      Aspd is like "I watched you walk down the sidewalk, planned to bump into you, did, and helped you up and showed you kindness so I could kiss ask you on an apology date, and introduce myself into your life and marry you a year later."

  • @A_D1820
    @A_D1820 Рік тому +1

    It’s funny after you mentioned this I hadn’t noticed. That was part of the charm too. But that’s also the connection to my own trauma. I was stuck and now I’m free. Clarity and peace in your journey. Thank you for the work you putting into yourself and sharing to help others. 💫🙌🏽

  • @Merbella
    @Merbella Рік тому +1

    I find myself talking to him like a child sometimes to explain basic concepts. It actually helps with his learning them sadly.

  • @EMuro-wu7uy
    @EMuro-wu7uy Рік тому +1

    This helps so many people out there. I have a narcissist sister, and so many times I've had to shut certain people out of my life. I would love to help some of them, but all of your truth is so helpful

  • @paulalouise1111
    @paulalouise1111 Рік тому +2

    Happy Birthday, Lee! Thank you for doing important work here that helps so many people!

  • @marmeg1118
    @marmeg1118 Рік тому +1

    Try a man in his 60’s. Emotionally stunned. Sad but true. They need professional help and need the time and space alone so they don’t hurt you to do the work, get better and heal.

  • @meganguzzi7302
    @meganguzzi7302 Рік тому +4

    How is it that siblings are raised the same way but one of them becomes a narcissist and the others are not?

    • @slipperysloop
      @slipperysloop Рік тому

      Genetics are thought to play at least some part, could be enough to tip someone over the edge.

  • @sandrakrahn6163
    @sandrakrahn6163 Рік тому +11

    My husband acts like an adolescent, no joke!

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому +1

      😩😩

    • @maydavis7589
      @maydavis7589 Рік тому

      I've been manipulated, gaslighted, and threatened on a daily basis. Some of the threats were he was going to kill himself if I didn't do what was asked, he would punch pillows or sofa, stand up against me and yell at my face, stand behind the car and not let me leave, sometimes we would be driving and he would threaten to swerve and hit any truck, hold my arms and shake me, push me aside to a wall, and much more. My in-laws were also very verbally abusive towards me. I wasn’t allowed to visit my family or friends. If I did or wanted to, I had to be ready for an argument. Every day I was reminded that I am nothing and that I was not worth fighting for and that I don't meet the standards of being married to their son. Recently, I found out he was cheating on me and had a girlfriend. After seeing the texts and pictures, I became numb. I've been a good wife, I listened to every insult and fight. I never gave up what I knew, thanks to this hacker who's helped me to extract enough information from his device. Someone on here shared a link to the hacker who helped cloned his phone without physically touching it. All I did was send his phone number to him and through a remote link sent to my email, I was able to access all of his texts, emails, Facebook and Instagram chats, real-time call listening and his long deleted messages as if the phone was physically with me. Perhaps, you are in a similar situation and you need help you can get in touch with him
      Email:
      instagram.com/mark_clinton2424/

    • @harmonyvanscott3634
      @harmonyvanscott3634 Рік тому

      I can imagine bc that ex Marc was still talkin about the witch in da closet.. I’m CTFU but here all da while he was serious ASF 😏

  • @dandreadyson2267
    @dandreadyson2267 Рік тому +1

    Automatically crying at the drop of a hat! The Thespian Award for good emotional acting is presented too narc one!

  • @jasminstuart152
    @jasminstuart152 Рік тому +1

    A huge congratulations on your growth! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Your videos have helped so much thank you!

  • @gustavosmith7648
    @gustavosmith7648 Рік тому +2

    Hey!! Coming to Australia!! Would love to catch up ☺️

  • @theresathompson4719
    @theresathompson4719 Рік тому +1

    He didn't share, temper tantrums, acts like a four year old.

  • @danidiaz2377
    @danidiaz2377 Рік тому +3

    thanks for these videos lee they really help me get over that loser i was dating 😊

  • @sosanosa08
    @sosanosa08 Рік тому +2

    Awesome video Lee! I hope you and your family have a great weekend 😊🌞

  • @gmcontractorsllc7592
    @gmcontractorsllc7592 Рік тому

    Thank you Lee. You just answered so many questions for me. My ex-narc is so immature. I always felt as though I was dealing with a child. I kept telling him he talks backwards. I finally know what that means.

  • @fenlandwildlifeclips
    @fenlandwildlifeclips Рік тому +2

    Empathy isn't something that can be taught. No one taught me empathy. It's inate, part of human survival. I recently watched a video about an auschwitz survivor: she said helping others helped her to survive. The ones who died were the selfish ones. Think about it logically: if you help others, they might help you too. If you don't, they'll have no incentive to help you...

    • @nicholecornes1915
      @nicholecornes1915 11 місяців тому

      That's how I survived alot of things! Remember that it helps!

  • @ddavis7338
    @ddavis7338 Рік тому +4

    Sucks most cluster b individuals had terrible childhoods. I think you're a rare case as far as seeking therapy and self awareness. Most narcissist are lost causes because you can't help someone whose never wrong and can't handle any form of criticism (but wouldn't hesitate to point out if and when you're wrong and critique you) my ex "discarded" me and I was hurt at first till I felt a strange sense of liberation. The discard came outta nowhere but it only happened because I'm sure she felt me start to pull away from her because her behavior was just not adult like and as someone who grew up an only child she became increasingly annoying for me to deal with. Whenever I called her out for her bad behaviors she'd just run away or start an argument out of thin air. It was quite confusing but looking back... I was dealing with a 22 year old with a 9 year olds mentality. Dodged a bullet.

  • @EverygurlUSA
    @EverygurlUSA Рік тому +3

    My mother, siblings father and grandmother are all narcs …. I however was raised by my other grandmother and although she was not perfect she had character . Therefore, they all hate me bc i al emotionally way more mature than them.. they think I’m the weird one and that’s how i know it’s not me

  • @michaelludwig9069
    @michaelludwig9069 Рік тому +1

    Thanks Lee for sharing your journey and helping us gain some knowledge.

  • @yeimbored3385
    @yeimbored3385 Рік тому +2

    MAN you are an angel, fucking angel. I tried to help my man for so long, but.. he is scared to work through our and his problems. Problems are unsolved and hurting me and him. Like i am a whole paychologist for him for about 1,5 year, like he now understands why he is the way he is, but for him choosing fuck his feelings and so mine is easier than solving problems and fight his „demons” lets call it like that. He chose to gave up cos its too hard and scary for him to change anything and have a higher quality life, its like this experiment with flies that were closed in a jar, and after three days they just gave up on looking for the way out, and when after those three days the lid was taken out, jar was open, they could just fly away.. they didnt even try anymore to escape, they accepted the fact they will never escape. And thats on his childhood and his mother. He some long time ago, way earlier before we met (his mother’s a bitch) just accepted that he cant change shit in his life, and even if i now show him the way, tell him how and why etc etc he just „cant” do anything about it. So.. yeah. Im afraid that u r right. I cant do anything, he is a narcissist, its all of the things u r talking about, he has all of them and i just have to move on i guess

    • @yeimbored3385
      @yeimbored3385 Рік тому

      Its hard do deal with it, but he hurt me so badly during relationship while i was the one carrying our emotional, physical, etc shit when he didnt even move to do sth.. like i did everything possible and impossible, and he kept telling me its my fault that he did hurt me and that he is the victim all the time. That i always talk about problems and for him „everythings ok” and im the one having the problem. No matter what topic it was and what situation. I have no one to talk about this. I just broke up with him, he will not change. It hurts

  • @5danidee
    @5danidee Рік тому +6

    This reminds me of a narcissist at my church I have to deal with. She is the pastor's wife so she gets away with all her shit, tantrums and all. But her mannerisms and speech are like a little girl, despite her being over 40.

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому

      oh wow

    • @williamdillard8330
      @williamdillard8330 Рік тому

      I bet she puts her pastor husband it!
      A true narc is not affected by religious beliefs. At least not enough to change them.

  • @Indy__isnt_it
    @Indy__isnt_it Рік тому +3

    LMAO I appreciate you even MORE TODAY! All because the way you wrote the triple 6! I do not like certain numbers. That is the most famous but I also dislike 37. 13. Maybe more, but I don't have a fav number!.

  • @NancyRowe-bs8gs
    @NancyRowe-bs8gs Рік тому

    You are awesome 😎 I love your honesty you are a gorgeous person God bless you and keep your head up always sir🙏

  • @InvisibleBorderline
    @InvisibleBorderline Рік тому +1

    My Narcissistic exBoyfriend only had friends much younger than himself. He’s 54 and hung out with 20 something’s. And those were immature.
    I’d say he functions around 16 and when he gets angry, it drops to 12.

  • @Christ_Is_Life10-10
    @Christ_Is_Life10-10 Рік тому +1

    Arrested Development! Yes that in a nutshell! We are all guilty of narcissistic behavior. Just like any disorder these traits are on a spectrum! The more severe traits are likely from childhood trauma. Codependent partners are the WORST for narcissists because you will VALIDATE their behavior and reinforce your suffering.

  • @recuperartuvision
    @recuperartuvision Рік тому +7

    Oh my god I have had this doubt in my mind ever since I discovered what a narcissist is lol

  • @KKP20111
    @KKP20111 Рік тому

    Thanks for life lessons, man!

  • @christielawrence4640
    @christielawrence4640 Рік тому

    Thank you!! Good words.

  • @rachgrigg2447
    @rachgrigg2447 Рік тому +2

    Soooooo interesting ❤

  • @gingerrivas5354
    @gingerrivas5354 Рік тому +4

    My ex boyfriend is 55 and he act like 8

  • @B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786
    @B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786 Рік тому +1

    ❤ your journey Lee.

  • @marmeg1118
    @marmeg1118 Рік тому

    They are emotionally stunned people. When they are frustrated or stressed and in my opinion they revert back to a time in childhood that this would occur. They were confused then and they still get confused now. Pretty much when confronted they do as they did when they were a chick. They didn’t have the skills then as a child (totally understandable) and still haven’t developed any or much skills to deal with it now. It’s sad but what is worse is you cannot allow yourself to be the object of this inefficiency. They have to do the work. If you allow it your an enabler and are really not helping them at all. They need professional help. They have to be the ones to make take those steps. You can advise them but you need to not go bonkers and have a life until they get better and heal.

  • @msmacmac1000
    @msmacmac1000 Рік тому

    I appreciate you, Lee!❤

  • @pazzy001
    @pazzy001 Рік тому +1

    I'd be interested in hearing your wife's prespective on your improvements since starting therapy.

  • @InfiniteTop8
    @InfiniteTop8 Рік тому

    Thank you so much.

  • @elizaveta2407
    @elizaveta2407 Рік тому

    Hey Lee! Great you didn't skip the number of the episode, just wrote it a bit differently. 👍🏻 I was waiting for this particular episode to see how you're gonna deal with its "evil" number lol.

  • @annasimon7077
    @annasimon7077 Рік тому

    Lee you are very precious by sharing blatantly your perspective. I am so curious to know, what kind of psychotherapist do you go to?

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому

      just a regular on that specializes in personality disorders

  • @marmeg1118
    @marmeg1118 Рік тому +2

    😂😂😂😂 Whoohoo you got to emotional teenager. 😂

  • @jenniesen8408
    @jenniesen8408 Рік тому

    This was a great video. I grew up with the same scenario of absent parent working and I had to adult very young but did not become a narcissist. Master a fact the exact opposite but my ex definitely had arrested development and refuses to admit or get help. So frustrating

  • @dopeamina6067
    @dopeamina6067 Рік тому +1

    Being as your a twin, does your twin also have Npd? You mentioned growing up and being the one over your siblings as mom had to work. Did that experience have the same effect on your twin?

  • @aprilmorgan909
    @aprilmorgan909 Рік тому +1

    Really good MH! ♥️🙏

  • @marsha04053
    @marsha04053 Рік тому

    He always running to his brother house and running to his momma.

  • @ms.j.7095
    @ms.j.7095 Рік тому +1

    Oh they are okay with them being childish. But YOU cannot be like a kid! How crazy is that? LOL Oh yes, they have arrested development.

  • @marsha04053
    @marsha04053 Рік тому +1

    That explain about my husband. He acts like a child and still think he's a teenager. He's a narcissist .I'm wasting my time explaining things to him.

  • @rhondaneal9950
    @rhondaneal9950 8 місяців тому

    It starts with the parents they teach the child that behavior is exceptional and the mother wants their sons to be their husbands so they treat them like their a baby a kid to deal with the child when the mother needs to be held accountable instead of taking your child money get the boy some help because all he is doing is out here damaging women who really love him but hopefully I pray one day he will see it and be alright I tried to help him and got hurt because the mother wanted to prove a point and separated anyone who would be with her child

  • @robertapfau2355
    @robertapfau2355 Рік тому

    Very interesting! Thank you!

  • @harmonyvanscott3634
    @harmonyvanscott3634 Рік тому +1

    It makes sense now wit my Ex Narcissist coming from 18 siblings n he really did hit me wit puttin his hands over his ears and closing his eyes when I was trying to talk to him 😮
    N wanting to play all the time tickling me.. I’m not tickle me Elmo get da F outta here!
    Po lil Tink Tink 😂

  • @irmgardhannoschock3141
    @irmgardhannoschock3141 Рік тому +1

    If you want to learn more about this been stuck in early childhood you can follow Dr. Sam Vaknin, a diagnosed narcissist and professor of psychology.

  • @cynthiagram671
    @cynthiagram671 Рік тому +2

    That dude I know was adopted and separated from his family

  • @joancrawford1146
    @joancrawford1146 Рік тому +2

    My husband is stuck at 8! Trying to leave the abuser but I have to plan it out perfectly

  • @SzilviK
    @SzilviK Рік тому +2

    Does it get better , change with age ? He is 36 and acts like a 6 year old . OMG !!! I'm on week 5 of the silent treatment......

  • @Cin427
    @Cin427 Рік тому

    Can you make a video on your opinion of what a relationship between two covert narcissists would be like?

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 Рік тому

    I grew up at 6 🙏🏽💯🙏🏽💯🙌🙌💥💥🤛🏽🤛🏽🤛🏽💪💪💪💪💪older survive

  • @ellenahs5911
    @ellenahs5911 Рік тому +2

    Do you feel like you now have more mature emotional intelligence after therapy?

  • @meganengland3252
    @meganengland3252 Рік тому +3

    Like the shirt.

  • @AlexSanchez-cs9fq
    @AlexSanchez-cs9fq Рік тому +2

    ITS FUNNY YOU SAY THAT MY BOSS IS 37 LASHING OUT SMIRKING LAUNGHING

  • @maw15565
    @maw15565 Рік тому +2

    Do you think Selena Gomez is a narcissist? She arena very calculated and ALWAYS plays the victim, idk something is not right, i've seen some people saying she's a covert narcissist. Her PRteam is amazing, they make her look so innocent at all times

    • @MentalHealness
      @MentalHealness  Рік тому

      i havent' seen any of it aside from ppl call justin and/or hailey being toxic

  • @juliecaudill9367
    @juliecaudill9367 Рік тому

    What type of therapist do they need to go to, if they want help?

  • @AJane589
    @AJane589 Рік тому

    This was this was the ex and his mum! Two children….it was awful!