Just want to say thanks for watching my crazy reactions! If you enjoy what I do on this channel consider supporting me. 70% of my videos are not monetized. Between setting up the studio daily, filming, editing, thumbnails, and research which all take away from my family, you guys motivate me to put out content daily. Consider buying me a coffee here www.buymeacoffee.com/poloreacts or my Patreon www.patreon.com/poloreacts PEACE!!
Seriously you are more than perceptive, you’re like PREceptive. Like when you anticipated there SHOULD be a violin solo at that part and how the audience connects … I’ve been to two blue October concerts and it is like going to church. You give energy to him/them. And they return it. Maybe it’s the other way around But please go to one. And do more of their songs!!
I met a girl at a Halloween party in 2007. Blue October was the first concert I took her to a week after we met. The singer was struggling with addiction and divorce when the album was made. She didn't really connect with them like I was hoping she would. Turns out she was addicted to heroin at the time and was struggling to stop. When she told me, everyone told me to leave except my dad. I knew she was special and need help, so I stayed and tried everything I could think of to help. After about a year she had quit, and we got married five years ago. They were the first concert we saw after getting married and after our first anniversary. I still have that ticket from Nov. 4 2007
Blue October is the greatest band that nobody has heard of. I've gotten to hang out with them before, and they're as good a people as they are musicians. If you want to go down their rabbit hole, "Come in Closer" and "Black Orchid" are some good ones to explore
Without a doubt a hidden gem that deserves to be more widely regarded, but then again, it's nice to feel like you kind of have them to yourself. Almost every track feels personal and intimate - event the upbeat stuff. For an interest contrast in tone, I recommend Ocean, I Hope You're Happy, or Sway. Also, just found your channel - great stuff! Keep it up. ✌️
My son turned me on to them when no one knew who they were. This is one of my favorite songs. I heard he finally kicked his addiction and that warms my soul.
As someone who has suffered from suicidal depression for basically my entire life, this song hits me so hard. The feeling of living for someone, someone who cares for you so much, someone who wants to see you happy, and someone who thinks the world of you. And all you can think of is how much you want them to hate you. How much you want them gone, not because you don't appreciate it, but because you cannot see the good they see in you. Because you cannot understand why someone will do their best to make you feel better, and be the person you can be. Hate me so you can see what's good for you. Hate me and abandon me, because I am a shackle that keeps you down. Hate me because your life will be better if I am not around. It's a desperate plea to be hated because in a strange, selfish way, you want to help them. It's a hypocrisy that is native to depression, and this song captures it in a way that I cannot possibly understsnd.
Yup, very well said. When this song released, I was in the midst of the worst depression of my life. The first time I heard it on the radio, it shook me to my core, because I had never before felt *so seen* I still wrestle with depression every now and then, but I always know that I'm not alone. I hope you too find solace, and a better tomorrow.
Blue October is one of my favorite bands. I got to see them live in September and cried my eyes out. Justin’s story is truly one of redemption. This song was written for his mom about his addiction.
As I was waging war on myself, you were trying to stop the fight. Damn, those are some heavy lyrics. Liked this track very much from a band I never heard of. 🔥✌️
I’ve seen Blue October almost 10 times, and love them every single time. One of my favorite moments is when he sang “Calling You” acoustic and the entire audience basically sang it for him
Amazing band. So sad more people haven't found their music. Blue October is the best band that Noone has properly heard of. They do national tours every year. Would love to hear you react to Any Man in America, by this band
These guys are the *sweetest*. I went to a show with my friend, and we got to meet them. I was super shy at the time but Justin (lead vocalist) shook my hand and looked me in the eye to thank me for being there; like he was making sure I knew he was grateful, and I never forgot how earnest and kind he was. Anywho! Coal Makes Diamonds, Into the Ocean, Sway, there's so many great songs from them you should check out.
Next song should be Fear, acoustic/live/album no matter which one you choose it will be great. Love this band from way back in the late 90's! You really cannot go wrong with any of their songs. Also, checkout their page and watch the live streams Justin and sometimes the whole band did during Covid. Justin will do cover songs acoustically and they are just beautiful, along with the words he speaks about recovery and helping his fans with recovery.
I looooove watching people react to Blue October for the first time. As every other comment here explains, they're amazing, deep, and just raw and real. They literally have saved lives through their music. Been in the Blue family since 2009 myself. Can't wait to see them again!! Next watch Fear live.
I feel like I was hearing this song for the first time all over again. There is no one like Justin. His story, his lyrics, his music. Incredible. I’ve been a forever fan.
One of the greatest bands. I think the main singer was struggling with addiction. Into the Ocean is another great song by them! Great reaction! Thank you❤️
“I Hope You’re Happy” and “Fear” are two more that are just amazing. You need to see Justin doing acoustic versions of his songs, just he and his guitar
I couldn't be happier right now with you, my to three bands of all time are Blue October, Tool, and System of a Down. Every single track these bands put out are amazing, they never phone it in, no fillers. I'm here for all of this. As far as a next song from these guys, I Hope You're Happy would be amazing, Jump Rope, Congratulations, Overweight, Into the Ocean, or if you want to go about as dark as you can, End.
As others have probably mentioned, go see Blue October live. It's not just a live concert, it's an emotional rollercoaster like some people feel in church. Blue October fans are extremely loyal, but also some of the kindest people you'll meet.
I LOVE that you’re reacting to Blue October They are one of my all time FAVORITES and they’re live performances are so good. Thank you for looking into them
I’ve been watching your reactions for a few weeks and just now came across my beloved Blue October on your page ! Hell Yeah! You got it from the word GO! ❤
Nice vid, Thanks... Blue October has a lot of awesome songs I'm finding. And they are rising up today, not something old. Lot's of energy. Check out 'Light You Up' and 'Sideways'...
"kicking shadows on the street for every mistake I have made". That lyric just speaks to me. The utter frustration over something you can't fix or take back...
Love this reaction! Blue October is unbelievable and so under rated. I have seen them over 100x live and each time is just as great as the last time and is like church for me.
I broke down crying when I heard this live. It was a free concert in Portland Maine. I endorse everyone who says you should see them live. It's one hell of an experience.
You should check out Light you up Live from Texas! I believe it is from the same show as this one!! Really any Blue October!! Actually going to see them live tomr! Love them!
This entire concert, Live From Texas is my absolute favorite. The videographer did a fantastic job and they always sound like their original recordings in concert. They're one of my favorite bands. I've seen them 11 times and met them 10. Their shows are a spiritual experience. You should check out Black Orchid. Thank you for your review.
I liked this band when they hit the radio when I was in high school, and the themes of abuse and mental illness and addiction still hit home for me today. Can’t say that I’ve listened to them on purpose in over a decade, but it’s cool to see someone react to them.
I remember my older sibling and I would listen to this as kids. We were living in a really bad home situation, just a few years ago we were able to get into a little bit more of a stable home life. But back then, this song was everything for my older sibling and I. We raised ourselves to be the people we are. I personally listened to this song as I viewed it for my older sibling to get out of the home we were in to live somewhere safer and healtheir. Better. I wanted them to hate me instead of love me so they would protect themselves and take care of themself instead of having to worry about me. And I truely wish I did more for my sibling. I used to listen to this song and cry to sleep. One of my most favourite songs
You MUST listen to Fear next. That song literally breaks me in the best way. My son is 12 and it's his favorite song and he wakes up most mornings and plays it first thing while he showers. It's like his anthem.
Man, I love the recognition for Ryan Delahoussaye, the Violinist in Blue October. Absolute rockstar and plays some of the most beautiful music I've heard in my life. Lovin' the reactions to Blue October, even if I have 9 months behind on seeing it!
One of my Favorite bands!! I too love when a violin comes in on a song. Bob Dylans Hurricane does that for me too! My husband introduced me to your channel and we have been going through a few of them today together. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
This is one I was eventually going to request. Glad you found it. The official video was very powerful for me as you are taken through periods of his life.
I just noticed the reactions to Blue are a few months old but that's okay. I'm gonna comment anyway! Thanks again for these reactions! It's wonderful to welcome another member to the Blue Fam! They have a new album coming out within the next few months! I'm looking forward to any more reactions you do of the best band out there. 💙
as a parent....we try so hard to do right by our kids...and sometimes they hate us...and we dont understand why....we truly tried to do things right...so it makes us so angry and heartbroken to think our kids hate us.
Man enjoy this journey. This is my favorite band. I've seen them live 3 times and they are the best live show. It rains emotion. Also the first time I saw them they cleared the stage and the violinist played for 10 minutes solo and it was freaking incredible. Recommend fear, bleed out, quiet time. Balance beam, clumsy card house and my personal favorite ugly side.
Blue October is my favorite group. I have tattoos of there song lyrics and other stuff to do with them. They’ve gotten me through a lot of hard times. You should definitely do “worry list” sometime.
This song is about his mothers unconditional love and support for him in the face of all that he put her through with his addiction and mental health issues. This plea and permission for her to hate him so that she could live her own life. Of course that don't fly with mom!
If you’re looking for one with a great solo from Ryan, the violinist, I’d like to recommend Light You Up. The closer to that song is so extremely beautiful.
I'd like to add that the live in Texas version is a great version. You will watch Ryan play guitar, keyboard violin and sing backup vocals within the whole track. What a talent!
Glad you dig Blue October. They have so many great songs especially on their first 4 albums. Some highlights, in my opinion; What if we could, Italian Radio, Drop, Ugly Side (you'll love to violin intro) For my Brother, Black Orchid, HRSA, Come in Closer, x amount of words, The Answer, Angel, Breakfast after 10, The 21st, Fear, Debris, Bleed Out, The feel again (stay), The Worry list, further dive, say it, stay with me, The End (if you want real fucking dark)
I make no exaggeration when I say Blue October saved my life hate me/Into The Ocean got me off that cliff and I owe them everything I have now. I would've never been a father without them.
Blue October- Razorblade, Overweight, You Make Me Smile, Say it. So many favorites, but these are the ones I think you should start with. I took into consideration your past reactions... at least all the ones I've seen(most of them). Hopefully you do more Blue October no matter what.
As a former addict,I dropped my kids off at their grandparents and ran away so they would never see me as an addict,I've been clean ,my kids are grown and understand my reasons at the time 💕🙏😎
Just want to say thanks for watching my crazy reactions! If you enjoy what I do on this channel consider supporting me. 70% of my videos are not monetized. Between setting up the studio daily, filming, editing, thumbnails, and research which all take away from my family, you guys motivate me to put out content daily. Consider buying me a coffee here www.buymeacoffee.com/poloreacts or my Patreon www.patreon.com/poloreacts PEACE!!
Anything from"Harmonium"
Love love love your comments and reaction to this song and band. Omg you are fantastic!!!!!
Seriously you are more than perceptive, you’re like PREceptive. Like when you anticipated there SHOULD be a violin solo at that part and how the audience connects … I’ve been to two blue October concerts and it is like going to church. You give energy to him/them. And they return it. Maybe it’s the other way around But please go to one. And do more of their songs!!
I met a girl at a Halloween party in 2007. Blue October was the first concert I took her to a week after we met. The singer was struggling with addiction and divorce when the album was made. She didn't really connect with them like I was hoping she would. Turns out she was addicted to heroin at the time and was struggling to stop. When she told me, everyone told me to leave except my dad. I knew she was special and need help, so I stayed and tried everything I could think of to help. After about a year she had quit, and we got married five years ago. They were the first concert we saw after getting married and after our first anniversary. I still have that ticket from Nov. 4 2007
This is beautiful.
Wow! This brought a tear to my eye
Awesome for yall dude.
As an addict in recovery myself this is amazing to hear that you believed in her. Sometimes that’s all it takes. Love from Tennessee
They are so amazing. I’ve watched Justin on drugs, sober, become a dad and become the man today. There is no one like him. ❤
Blue October is the greatest band that nobody has heard of. I've gotten to hang out with them before, and they're as good a people as they are musicians. If you want to go down their rabbit hole, "Come in Closer" and "Black Orchid" are some good ones to explore
Fear!
Without a doubt a hidden gem that deserves to be more widely regarded, but then again, it's nice to feel like you kind of have them to yourself. Almost every track feels personal and intimate - event the upbeat stuff. For an interest contrast in tone, I recommend Ocean, I Hope You're Happy, or Sway.
Also, just found your channel - great stuff! Keep it up. ✌️
My son turned me on to them when no one knew who they were. This is one of my favorite songs. I heard he finally kicked his addiction and that warms my soul.
Hidden gems are hard to be found😭😭
Agree!! Never heard of them and went to a concert of theirs with a friend. Best concert I ever been to and met some true friends. #BlueFam
As someone who has suffered from suicidal depression for basically my entire life, this song hits me so hard. The feeling of living for someone, someone who cares for you so much, someone who wants to see you happy, and someone who thinks the world of you.
And all you can think of is how much you want them to hate you. How much you want them gone, not because you don't appreciate it, but because you cannot see the good they see in you. Because you cannot understand why someone will do their best to make you feel better, and be the person you can be. Hate me so you can see what's good for you.
Hate me and abandon me, because I am a shackle that keeps you down. Hate me because your life will be better if I am not around.
It's a desperate plea to be hated because in a strange, selfish way, you want to help them. It's a hypocrisy that is native to depression, and this song captures it in a way that I cannot possibly understsnd.
❤
Yup, very well said. When this song released, I was in the midst of the worst depression of my life. The first time I heard it on the radio, it shook me to my core, because I had never before felt *so seen*
I still wrestle with depression every now and then, but I always know that I'm not alone. I hope you too find solace, and a better tomorrow.
Love this song for reasons I don’t talk about
Blue October is one of my favorite bands. I got to see them live in September and cried my eyes out. Justin’s story is truly one of redemption. This song was written for his mom about his addiction.
As I was waging war on myself, you were trying to stop the fight. Damn, those are some heavy lyrics. Liked this track very much from a band I never heard of. 🔥✌️
I’ve seen Blue October almost 10 times, and love them every single time. One of my favorite moments is when he sang “Calling You” acoustic and the entire audience basically sang it for him
Amazing band. So sad more people haven't found their music.
Blue October is the best band that Noone has properly heard of. They do national tours every year. Would love to hear you react to Any Man in America, by this band
This one always hits hard.❤
These guys are the *sweetest*. I went to a show with my friend, and we got to meet them. I was super shy at the time but Justin (lead vocalist) shook my hand and looked me in the eye to thank me for being there; like he was making sure I knew he was grateful, and I never forgot how earnest and kind he was.
Anywho! Coal Makes Diamonds, Into the Ocean, Sway, there's so many great songs from them you should check out.
Same here. And, then invited myself and my wife to go hang out with them at another local spot before they had to hit the road. Authentic!
Next song should be Fear, acoustic/live/album no matter which one you choose it will be great. Love this band from way back in the late 90's! You really cannot go wrong with any of their songs. Also, checkout their page and watch the live streams Justin and sometimes the whole band did during Covid. Justin will do cover songs acoustically and they are just beautiful, along with the words he speaks about recovery and helping his fans with recovery.
My favorite
I looooove watching people react to Blue October for the first time. As every other comment here explains, they're amazing, deep, and just raw and real. They literally have saved lives through their music. Been in the Blue family since 2009 myself. Can't wait to see them again!! Next watch Fear live.
X2 quisiera volver el tiempo atrás y escuchar ésta canción por primera vez, ése sentimiento de angustia es tan intenso la primera vez ❤
such a powerful song!!! ive loved this for over 10 years!
such an emotional song!!! it touches so many hearts!!
I feel like I was hearing this song for the first time all over again. There is no one like Justin. His story, his lyrics, his music. Incredible. I’ve been a forever fan.
One of the greatest bands. I think the main singer was struggling with addiction. Into the Ocean is another great song by them! Great reaction! Thank you❤️
Light you up is another great song. A lot of curse words but so much passion and honesty.
Blue October is Everything & I loved watching your reaction💙🙏💙
BLUE OCTOBER - Swimming in the Ocean. Amazing lyrics and riff...
They have live album called Argue With A Tree that is absolutely amazing. Every song is fantastic.
One of the most incredible songs of the 21st century.
“I Hope You’re Happy” and “Fear” are two more that are just amazing. You need to see Justin doing acoustic versions of his songs, just he and his guitar
Just found this Jewel today! His voice gives me chills! ❤
More Blue October reactions, please. ❤
As others, Fear is powerful good.
You need to watch the official video for this song even if you don't react to it. It is so emotionally powerful at least to me.
I couldn't be happier right now with you, my to three bands of all time are Blue October, Tool, and System of a Down. Every single track these bands put out are amazing, they never phone it in, no fillers. I'm here for all of this.
As far as a next song from these guys, I Hope You're Happy would be amazing, Jump Rope, Congratulations, Overweight, Into the Ocean, or if you want to go about as dark as you can, End.
As others have probably mentioned, go see Blue October live. It's not just a live concert, it's an emotional rollercoaster like some people feel in church. Blue October fans are extremely loyal, but also some of the kindest people you'll meet.
I LOVE that you’re reacting to Blue October
They are one of my all time FAVORITES and they’re live performances are so good. Thank you for looking into them
I've watched this band live a few times now. Great show every time. Wish more people knew of them.
I’ve been watching your reactions for a few weeks and just now came across my beloved Blue October on your page ! Hell Yeah! You got it from the word GO! ❤
Nice vid, Thanks... Blue October has a lot of awesome songs I'm finding. And they are rising up today, not something old. Lot's of energy. Check out 'Light You Up' and 'Sideways'...
Your reactions are my favorite!! So glad you gave Blue October a chance. You should check out Calling You or Into the Ocean if you enjoyed this. ♥️
"kicking shadows on the street for every mistake I have made". That lyric just speaks to me. The utter frustration over something you can't fix or take back...
Love this reaction! Blue October is unbelievable and so under rated. I have seen them over 100x live and each time is just as great as the last time and is like church for me.
I broke down crying when I heard this live. It was a free concert in Portland Maine. I endorse everyone who says you should see them live. It's one hell of an experience.
You should check out Light you up Live from Texas! I believe it is from the same show as this one!! Really any Blue October!! Actually going to see them live tomr! Love them!
You have to do Fear, Amazing, and Light you Up ❤️❤️❤️💯💯
This entire concert, Live From Texas is my absolute favorite. The videographer did a fantastic job and they always sound like their original recordings in concert. They're one of my favorite bands. I've seen them 11 times and met them 10. Their shows are a spiritual experience. You should check out Black Orchid. Thank you for your review.
A friend of mine found help with facing his addiction through this song. Saved his life, but not his marriage.
Even in 2023 this is still on my playlist but another great song no one talks about is Congratulations by them It needed to be heard more
Love your videos keep it up. I found Blue October through my girlfriend 2 years ago, now my favorite band. We go to 5-6 blue concerts a year!
Just saw these guys live in PA a few weeks ago. Amazing live, is all I can say!
I liked this band when they hit the radio when I was in high school, and the themes of abuse and mental illness and addiction still hit home for me today. Can’t say that I’ve listened to them on purpose in over a decade, but it’s cool to see someone react to them.
I remember my older sibling and I would listen to this as kids. We were living in a really bad home situation, just a few years ago we were able to get into a little bit more of a stable home life. But back then, this song was everything for my older sibling and I. We raised ourselves to be the people we are. I personally listened to this song as I viewed it for my older sibling to get out of the home we were in to live somewhere safer and healtheir. Better. I wanted them to hate me instead of love me so they would protect themselves and take care of themself instead of having to worry about me. And I truely wish I did more for my sibling. I used to listen to this song and cry to sleep. One of my most favourite songs
You MUST listen to Fear next. That song literally breaks me in the best way. My son is 12 and it's his favorite song and he wakes up most mornings and plays it first thing while he showers. It's like his anthem.
One of my all time favorite songs, thank you for doing this song.
Yes more blue October!! Fear. Or all that we are. Newer stuff
This song has always gotten to me
This song hits different, especially this version. ❤
I've met them and seen them a few time in concerts. They are amazing and make timeless music. BTW they sound so amazing live.... just like this
Man, I love the recognition for Ryan Delahoussaye, the Violinist in Blue October. Absolute rockstar and plays some of the most beautiful music I've heard in my life. Lovin' the reactions to Blue October, even if I have 9 months behind on seeing it!
One of my Favorite bands!! I too love when a violin comes in on a song. Bob Dylans Hurricane does that for me too! My husband introduced me to your channel and we have been going through a few of them today together. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
18th floor balcony is the most beautiful song
This song makes me cry every time I hear it because I KNOW this song in a way that twists my gut. I never want to go back there. But I remember.
This is one I was eventually going to request. Glad you found it.
The official video was very powerful for me as you are taken through periods of his life.
One of the best songs ever. Imo
First concert I went to when I was like 14 was blue October and The vanished at Cains ballroom, awesome concert
I just noticed the reactions to Blue are a few months old but that's okay. I'm gonna comment anyway! Thanks again for these reactions! It's wonderful to welcome another member to the Blue Fam! They have a new album coming out within the next few months! I'm looking forward to any more reactions you do of the best band out there. 💙
Havent listened to this song even once without welling up a few tears.
Ever since my Dad passed away hearing this song absolutely tares me to pieces.
as a parent....we try so hard to do right by our kids...and sometimes they hate us...and we dont understand why....we truly tried to do things right...so it makes us so angry and heartbroken to think our kids hate us.
“The Worry List” live version is from this very same concert. It’s one that I consistently go back to. I’d love to see you react to it!
Great reaction and AMAZING Song ((one of my favorites!!)) Much Love XoXo 💖 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜
Fear is another amazing song by them, but I am a Blue October fan. Love your reactions.
Man enjoy this journey. This is my favorite band. I've seen them live 3 times and they are the best live show. It rains emotion.
Also the first time I saw them they cleared the stage and the violinist played for 10 minutes solo and it was freaking incredible.
Recommend fear, bleed out, quiet time. Balance beam, clumsy card house and my personal favorite ugly side.
Blue October is my favorite group. I have tattoos of there song lyrics and other stuff to do with them. They’ve gotten me through a lot of hard times. You should definitely do “worry list” sometime.
Chills every time!!!
This album was great. There is the album approaching normal that has a song called The End that is hard to express as it can hit in a lot of ways.
They’re awesome! Listen to their track 18th Floor/Balcony
There’s a version of Justin doing an unplugged version of hate me in Vegas. It is absolutely stellar.
Just joined this channel and after 4 videos I can tell I'm going to be here a lot. Keep up the cool work :)
Great reaction to a great song.
Chills...every time. If you want dark, go for Black Orchid! To see them hit hard see their official live video for Razorblade from blueoctoberofficial
I still cry with Black Orchid.
This song is about his mothers unconditional love and support for him in the face of all that he put her through with his addiction and mental health issues. This plea and permission for her to hate him so that she could live her own life. Of course that don't fly with mom!
If you’re looking for one with a great solo from Ryan, the violinist, I’d like to recommend Light You Up. The closer to that song is so extremely beautiful.
I'd like to add that the live in Texas version is a great version. You will watch Ryan play guitar, keyboard violin and sing backup vocals within the whole track. What a talent!
Keep it up for the October blues!
This live version is, in my opinion, better than the studio cut by far!
My boy Polo and Blue October? I know you gonna rock this one in the car my dude.
Glad to see my boys from Houston getting some love here. The comments have some good suggestions.
The leader singer acoustic is haunting
Glad you dig Blue October. They have so many great songs especially on their first 4 albums. Some highlights, in my opinion; What if we could, Italian Radio, Drop, Ugly Side (you'll love to violin intro) For my Brother, Black Orchid, HRSA, Come in Closer, x amount of words, The Answer, Angel, Breakfast after 10, The 21st, Fear, Debris, Bleed Out, The feel again (stay), The Worry list, further dive, say it, stay with me, The End (if you want real fucking dark)
This song is so meaningful to me. I had a similar experience with my own Mom only the roles were reversed.
AND it's live...crazy 😮
My son loves them. Went to concert last week. I happen to lie them also
He, they have a beautiful song, FEAR
You gotta watch and react to their Bleed Out acoustic live!!
This band loves Jesus... They are awesome for this
Gotta check out Blue october feel again (stay) live the emotion in this is a whole new level
Amazing band!
I highly recommend “into the ocean” by blue October
Live is great, the video is really cool too
Blue October tours a lot. They might be around you sometime soon.
How did I miss this?? 10 months ago ?? Well I'm here now....
One of my favorite live songs ever. Check out Love hate love live at the Moore by Alice In Chains. EPIC!!!
Local band here from my hometown in St Louis
I make no exaggeration when I say Blue October saved my life hate me/Into The Ocean got me off that cliff and I owe them everything I have now. I would've never been a father without them.
Amazing stuff 👏
Blue October- Razorblade, Overweight, You Make Me Smile, Say it.
So many favorites, but these are the ones I think you should start with. I took into consideration your past reactions... at least all the ones I've seen(most of them). Hopefully you do more Blue October no matter what.
As a former addict,I dropped my kids off at their grandparents and ran away so they would never see me as an addict,I've been clean ,my kids are grown and understand my reasons at the time 💕🙏😎