How to Argue Well & Resolve Conflict in Your Relationships 🌈 | S3 E9
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
- This week we discuss conflict resolution in your relationships, whether they're romantic relationships, familial relationships or workplace relationships!
Welcome to Season 3 of Happy Healthy Homo hosted by Keegan Hirst and Joel Wood. Please rate and review us on Apple Podcasts, it'd really help us out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast...
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Another aspect I hear around conflict resolution is reiterating what someone says to you back to them as a way to verify understanding.
It also forces you to listen to what is being said.
Timing is everything, literally had a little disagreement today with my lovely boyfriend. And we have been together for 6 years, but communication is the biggest tool we have. We can be upset about things but it’s not fair to holding it in. He more suffers in silence and I have a tendency to isolate loudly, if that makes sense. So we took initiative to talk about things, as uncomfortable as it was, we both felt much better afterward. It’s not about being right or wrong per se, it’s about establishing and reinforcing healthy boundaries. We SHARE a life while also living our own lives. In a relationship, you got to tackle it quit, stay calm, be realistic, take space if you need, and remember you are likely more upset about certain choices or actions made by the other, not the person as a whole. But also practicing what you preach, no double standards. I dislike “allowances,” your partner and you are grown, people should be FREE to do things, but there are always exceptions and nuances involved. Time and place, being fair, having compassion, identifying triggers, even therapy (individual or together is totally valid). There’s always stuff in any relationship with anyone, it’s up to the people if the relationship is worth it or not, but running away isn’t the same as walking away from toxic partners. I could go on for days on this lol. Nice podcast, just found you two and immediately felt welcomed, thanks for sharing your experiences. Stay cozy and well everyone!
This episode really hits home. My last relationship was my final one. I’ll never subject myself or anyone else to another. It lasted 22 years. My partner ended it, which I should have done before it began. Taught by my mother to be a “doormat,” I put up with my partner’s ceaseless putdowns which built up mountains of suppressed anger. My partner was angry about everything in his life. We never talked that out or anything else. He felt to do so was “weakness.” I didn’t have the mental resources to break through those barriers. You are 100% spot on. Productive conflict resolution is the key to lasting relationships and it starts with honest communication.
Thanks for sharing your story, I think it can really help others, and I’m glad you’re in a better place now. I hope your next relationship is nothing but a joy for you.
@@joemalick That's a very kind thought and I thank you for it. Though my position on relationships is best epitomize by an exchange from Waugh's Brideshead Revisited: CHARLES: You'll fall in love. CORDELIA: Oh, I pray not.
As a retired broadcaster I can tell you you don't need to treat your microphones like lollipops --- you don't have to have them so close to your mouth that you can lick them like a lollipop. I would suggest that you keep the microphone at least the length of the microphone itself away from your mouth. Also make sure it is down towards your chest and not blocking your beautiful handsome faces! Love your subject matter so keep up the good work and the technical things will eventually work out.
just what I said but far more elegantly said 🎉
There is a special softness in your face today Keegan....you look particularly handsome.....maybe due to your 'bout of anxiety ' earlier.....love to you both. There is always an interesting subject on your podcasts. Thanks, James ❤❤
*Excellent show, excellent points made!* And thanks to Dominic for the new equipment for the boys.
You guys are the cutest!!!! Not even 5 minutes in and I’m always entertained! 😝😎
Good Morning Gentlemen. Thank You for all of this. 💛
⭐⭐⭐⭐ The worst scenario is when both partners are type A personalities. With that said, (Pontus's) advised was "Not having conflict at all" Are you serious? couples will always have conflicts no matter what, it is the way how one reacts when a conflict arises, is the key on how a conflict can come to an agreement, or at least a compromise.
This is why it is important that we Gay men have our own spaces to talk about affairs that affect us and connect with other Gay men; in the same way that straight men and women have their own spaces, and straight men and women must respect Gay spaces and respect our differences 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️ At the end, all straight people must understand that we are different and respect Gay spaces and Gay men 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
Great topic again! So important, as the quality of your relationshipa will be directly proportional to how well resolved conflicts are within it. Not ended, resolved in a way that serves all parties involved. Wonderful suggestions and call in contributions. I love the idea Joel and Lucy used of rating how important things are to each of you (obviously only works for already healthy dynamics). And Keegan's story is a great example of compromise. I think it's important to not compromise your values and standards, but you can budge on how those things are met. So he wasn't willing to give up living close to the kids mum and school for the same of his relationship with them (value, standards), but would move house or share space for Joel, should he need that for work or other reasons.
Would love to hear what kinds of skills you employ to resolve things like Joel being a big family time person and not getting to see them as much, etc etc.
Again, thank you and love this podcast.
I feel this is such an important topic and so glad you discussed this. Wouldn't it be great if healthy communication and conflict resolution were taught to children in school? Some really wonderful teachings on the subject are found in Marshall Rosenberg's books on Non-Violent Communication (NVC). The focus there is on empathic listening and response. This is reflected in @Dragonmoon8526's comment on repeating back what someone says to you. I would add that acknowledging what the other person is feeling makes a big difference. When someone is upset about something, often they really just want their feelings acknowledged and cared about. When we speak to the feelings underlying the conflict, rather than just arguing the details or "facts," we often help heal the hurts and resolve underlying resentment.
Another great podcast edition on its way. 😊
Hard to believe I’ve been watching H3 for over a year. Always a good listen no matter the topic. Keep up the good work, boys! Still miss Joel and Lia together but the transition to watching YT with Keegan and AK as your partners has been fun to follow. Thanks for what you do!😊😊😊
I was just typing about the mics as you beet me to it lol
Conflict can be taken care of with honest conversation. Now everyone involved in the conflict has to be willing to do so.
I find if I am tired (physically and mentally)and have caffeine it makes me anxious. Perhaps you were more tired than you thought.
Great episode, I think mainly because of the advice sent in from your viewers … 🤣🤣🤣 seriously though, I hate conflict but I know it exists, and so dealing with it and moving on from it is the healthiest way to successfully continue whatever relationship is involved. Keep up the great work! ❤
One conflict that you never get over is when your partner makes fun of you in public. If they ridicule their partner in public several times then that is irreversible.
😍
Hey guys, work on your sound. I have my volume turned up to the maximum in order to hear you, and still not that well. I was doing fine, must be something you changed. Resolve the conflict and not hate me please. 😂
A nd its ready lol
Still a little the same joels mic's at the side ...so get him in his full glory but keegan is blocking 1/2 his face