Tell Your Mom To Stop Being Crazy!
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- Опубліковано 15 вер 2024
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For someone paranoid like that, there is absolutely nothing you can do, especially at 82.
I went through the same thing except parents were broke. When my parents died, No other family member wanted to step up and take care of my special needs sister. I had to become conservator and guardian of my sister. Lawyer and a special needs trust cost me $6,600 bucks in 2021 to set up. Lucky my dad had a federal pension. And my sister gets survivor benefits from it
Dave is right 👍 on this one. Mom needs to redo her Will and leave all the money to the disabled child because she's going to need it the most. It's expensive to take care of a disabled person. It costs a lot of money to keep her alive and maintain her living situation.
Actually they need to set up a special needs trust to put the money in. Anything over $2000 they will lose services and have to spend the money and need to reapply.
Just pull the plug... sounds like a dam n bottomless pit..
Send the disabled to canada and give em the maids treatment!
In new york she can go into a group home
Here's an honest question, is it worth using 400k for someone who won't really be doing anything with it anyways? Is it not just delaying the inevitable, the disabled person is still going to be disabled and potentially die early or need 24/7 care.
I understand wanting to feel like we are doing the right thing. But what if the disabled person doesn't want it, and can't verbalize it or understand?
Dave nailed it. The cost for care is expensive and will need all of this.
Why do people have such a difficult time just asking their question? Get to the point dude.
hahaha...right on Corey!
He kept denying the truth about why he was calling.
Because he’s emotionally involved, hard to think straight. You have an outsiders perspective
🤣🤣🤣
Dave's advice is 100% on point.
Dave is right about dancing around the issues. It is important to sit her down and be clear and firm and explain the situation in simple terms. A bunch of "yeah buts" and "well maybe yeah" isn't going to work. If she won't change then so be it. A lot of times if someone sits down and is clear it might actually relieve some of her paranoia and stress.
I agree with Dave, the disabled child is not able to care for herself and will never be. Her 24/7 care plus medical adds up quick.
The temperament of the disabled person doesn't matter.
The disabled person probably probably lives with her mom.
In this case the other kids, by GOD'S GRACE, are able to fend for themselves.
The healthy kids will be mad, believing they are entitled to their share, BUT, it's Mom's money, NOT THEIRS.
And yet it hasn’t “added-up” so far. She is a 6th grade mental level, that’s not exactly “high-needs”. She already gets SSD payments, as well as qualifies for other subsidies like SNAP. As she ages and develops more issues, then assisted living may be an option. But the mother hasn’t needed to spend that nearly half a million on her, and mom is 80+ (!) and still caring for her. No, this daughter’s situation doesn’t add up to a bill of $400k+.
Wish they'd screen these callers better. Dude can't get to the point to save his life. Dave asked him a simple yes-or-no question and it takes him three paragraphs to still not answer it.
i tried to tell my mother to please stop it she was being crazy ten years before she went senile. she said "i don't want to talk about it now!" and she refused to talk about it. now she's senile and her estate is a mess. oh yeah, and i have a disabled brother much like this guy's sister. sometimes you can talk reason into your crazy parents but often you can't.
Don’t I know it. They figured they were the parents and could do what they wanted with their money. True, but they weren’t wise.
Even if they were, stuff happens. My dad was a genius but he went first. Mom didn't assign beneficiaries to just one account so now i have to pay a lawyer like 8k to make an estate
@@georgewagner7787 yep. my dad literally worked at NASA. he was very practical and smart about this stuff. but he was 13 years older and died back in 2011.
Lots of people have disabilities and they work all the time I mean I like your straight talk your honesty at the same time I don't think people who are disabled or incapable of doing lots and lots of things
The other Ramsey personalities are good, but when Dave retires it won’t be the same.
Full time 24/7 care at home is a lot more than 50K a year. It’s likely double that.
It's not enough, Dave is absolutely correct. The sister will need the most.
Dave spitting facts on this call.
Callers more worried about not getting a big enough share for himself
Dave is right to tell him to address it head on, but the thing about some of the mild cognitive impairment conditions is that you are best with an improv style "yes- and" approach. That is, directly confronting or contradicting is not a winning strategy. I am not saying the Mom is cognitively impaired (and in fact if she is, they might actually be legally stuck with the will as-is), but the emotional difficulty of the topic is not causing the caller to be *this* avoidant- it's also that she's just a hard person to reason with for the caller at least.
Getting all the siblings together and making it clear they agree with supporting the disabled sister and the caller being in charge of the trust might help- if the only thing holding the Mom to cutting up the pie that way is her idea of what the Dad wanted, that might not be too hard to get over. If all the siblings agree, things will be easier regardless, so the caller should maybe start there.
I think this guy wants all the money to go to him with the promise he will take care of the disabled person but then he will stick her into a care home on Medicaid and keep all the money…
And the siblings might not realize what is happening if she’s in a facility and they assume he is paying for care…. Instead of taxpayers.
I was waiting for Sam to actually get to his question. That dragged out for wayyyy too long.
Man. This dude need to listen and answer more succinctly.
This was crazy. The guy could not get to the point because he actually wants the money and then put his sister in a crapy asylum. He was weird... and Dave didn't get it here. Kept blaming the mom. The issue is the able bodied brother, not the mother.
You can't know that
That’s how it sounded like to me
Dave nailed it for sure here. I agree with him like +90% of the time
Why isn't the adult disabled child on SS and Medicare and Medicaide?
all siblings need to meet with mom together and tell mom they all agree that any money left when she passes they want to go to their disabled sister them mom can rest easy that all sibling are OK with that decision.
Once upon a time a sixth grade person had to quit school and take care of the whole family.
But they weren’t disabled and probably farmed with their parents and probably were below the poverty line ..... not exactly what we want to aspire to in 2023
@@jacobmonti453 Then what do we aspire to be in 2023? Taking care of disabled people at the detriment of the rest of the healthy population? Wasting a lifelong inheritance on one person isn't how families and society as a whole gets ahead. There are special low cost homes that are created to take care of disabled people. Using an entire inheritance to give premium care to one person is a waste.
@@TheFlyingZuluI as a taxpayer will disagree with that. Spend the entire inheritance on the disabled person first!!
@@cutehumor the disabled person does not feel better about their disability and will not ever be able to live a life as full as we do, you are cruel to put them through it just because it makes you feel like a good person
Paranoid gyrations. I love it!
Great call!
So in the event that mom cannot be convinced, then talk to your siblings about donating their share of the will proceeds to the care of the disabled sibling.
It's not the siblings money. They are not entitled to it, there's no need for a donation from them.
@@neisci I agree, but it sounded like the Will already is set up that way.
This is such great coaching!! Thanks for the great content Dave!! God bless!!!
I guess it’s crazy person day on the Ramsey show
I wouldn't call this guys mom crazy. She was born at the end of The Great Depression so I can only image how much her parents influenced her to save save save and be frugal and not let ANYTHING go the waste.
Excuses
This dude was looking for a justification to get his cut whatever that is, and Dave saying that probably didn't sit well as he probably wants that money to buy some useless thing his wife needs.
If that's what mom wants
I can't even listen to this guy - get to the POINT !!
This is what we call mid-western nice.
Does sister qualify to live in a group home? They give community and are often covered by disability care.
Being that her mental capacity is like a 6 year old (according to caller), she cannot fit into a group home. She requires more individual attention.
YES! Exactly! Someone who understands the situation speaks!! I know this from personal experience in our own family.
This is what I'd have done... giving premium care to one person is a waste of an inheritance.
@@TheFlyingZulu It's mother's right to "waste" the $450K inheritance anyway she sees fit.
Dump this problem on the taxpayer. Spend the entire inheritance on the disabled daughter. Parents responsible for her after death
Ok so I need to add more to my comment since I missed the fact that the disabled sister has a mental disability and probably cant be on her own in this case she may get better help with tax dollars on low income than actually paying for help which the money would run out fast...Thats probably whats going on right now since she doesnt have her mothers money but still gets taken care of somehow...These financial situatio0ns are tough to judge with VERY limited information and a VERY short conversation...I like to think people are ghood but if the caller the brother takes care of his disabled sister and shes already getting the help she needs there bad motivation to have the money to to "her" since its really going to her care taker "him" to do what he wants with...Life hard sometimes maybe shes getting the help she needs on some program but his car dies and he needs it for work its easy to just fix it with his sisters money maybe the house is going to get taken away easy to dip back into that fund for money all of a sudden its all gone...
"taken care of somehow" has remained the same since disabled sister's birth, 82 year old mothers is STILL taking care of her daughter because daughter still lives under her mother's roof. No where in this conversation did caller mention any of remaining siblings helping with care on a regular basis, sounded like they have all gone on with their lives with no regard for disabled sister ... until father passed away & now mom will probably pass soon too. Sounded like all siblings are fixated on splitting $450K, but what about little sister??? Which one will be responsible for her care? All siblings would be better off getting nothing & $450K goes into Special Needs Trust. Mr. Ramsey is 100% correct on this issue!
@@jeromehenry4484 Depending on the state in which the mother and daughter reside, the sister may not legally be able to inherit anything due to her chronic 'child-like' status. I know this from personal experience. The sister should be getting social security disability income if she is not doing so already and can live in a group home with others under the care of a 'supervisory person'. Also, the sister can work at a 'workshop' for special needs individuals earning a bit of income and given a purpose and a sense of community. This is exactly what has happened in our family and it works quite well. The mother's inheritance that was left behind was not enough to help the handicapped adult child and the other option (the one listed here) was one that the child preferred anyway, so the remaining siblings shared the small inheritance and still to this day (20+ years later) still visit by phone and in person with the sister. Holidays and other events are also still shared with her; she is not ignored in the least.
The sister is already getting Social Security disability payments monthly, and that will go far. When the time comes, she could go into an assisted living facility on zero of that $400k. These siblings aren’t going to need to spend almost half a million dollars to care for her, when her own parents never spent it caring on her. What is Dave thinking?
Yup and at the 6th grade level that’s high functioning, borderline normal.. she should be able to get a job in a sheltered workshop like Goodwill ..!
@@PhilSallaway Exactly. It would be best for her too. I’ve worked with these folks - it’s cruel to convince them they are useless. Get them involved... it’s so beneficial for them, and we NEED their help.
That's true. Medicaid will cover assisted living for the disabled sibling.
Yes! Exactly! I am surprised that so many people are so ignorant that workshops and group homes do exist for this type of situation. The sister is definitely high functioning and would likely do well at some sort of job and living space instead of a nursing home! (shudder)
@@peterhoffman8525 haha - “shudder”. I’ve heard that there are terrible nursing homes. But as an RN, I’ve worked at two and they were absolutely lovely. The staff was attentive and caring. But for this woman, assisted living is more appropriate. Although the reality is that she may require nursing home care as she ages and becomes elderly.
"let me get right to the point here"
- proceeds to not at all get to the point
It took him forever to get to the point . The special needs child will take all the money that’s left. He was not listening to anything . He does not realize how much his sisters care will be. His mom is unprepared. The Will needs to be redone.
.
Just let her watch this video. LOL
Buy a house for the disabled sister best way..
Dave holding women accountable wow what's this world coming too.
Dave Tate
@@ItsYaBoyChanningLOLOLOL
Shocking 😮
@@ItsYaBoyChanning 🤣🤣🤣
Unfortunately, there’s no husband involved because he died so now Dave is focusing on the woman.
Allot of children calling in Worrying about their parents money.
good lord, this guy couldn't get to the point
Wouldnt the state support the person who has a learning disability?
He never said if she was physically disabled or mentally disabled or both.
YES! The 'state' will (and most likely does now, through social security disability income from US gov.)
@@peterhoffman8525 Yeah in the UK it would be the same and if person needs required it, they would be transferred to a charity like MacIntyre.
The UK has had it problems but hopefully they are ironed out now.
No Gamble. No Future.
Special needs trust.
That $450,000 would be well over $1 million, maybe even $2 or $3 million if it had been invested in index funds of mutual funds.
Why isn’t Sis on Medicaid and let that supplement the help. I disagree with this entirely.
Dave doesn’t know how the poor make it
In the end, Dave started sounding like Tootsie.
Plot twist. She actually has a million dollars hidden in cash around her house lol
The fact Dave actually held a woman accountable and called her behavior crazy is VERY refreshing. This is a rare occasion for sure.
For sure. If her husband was still alive it would’ve been all his fault. I love Dave and crew, but it’s far from always the man’s fault.
Sounds like something to share with your therapist.
@@superblump87 👍 I agree, and it needs to be group therapy because there are several just like that on these comments who think men are always the victims, no matter what the situation really happens to be.
@@superblump87 Ok.
She wasn't in the call so it was easy
Has anybody simply thought of asking the person with a disability what they want just because someone has a disability doesn't mean they shouldn't have the right to make their own decisions and choices lay it on the table I mean a 6th grader really a sixth grader a person in that capacity could at least understand something that maybe shed some light on the situation I get so sick of people putting people putting people down acting like their name capable lots and lots of people have disabilities and in lots and lots of people succeed is fight of them hello Dave Ramsey and everybody else that talks about people displeased like they don't matter I mean we don't all need caring for some people just need a support to make their own decisions
sad
The mom needs to see this youtube video.
We are the tax payers will take care of SIS!!
Don't you worry🙄🙄
Hey guys Christina and I are getting married soon wish me good fortune 😉
My parents refused to listen
Sounds like mine
Mom did good 450k at 82 is good job. She should have done differently but even as she is she's better then normal, because normal is broke.
But he's right get mom to leave all the money to sis in a trust for her benefit only. No son laundering the money with the excuse I need a bigger house. Sis care only just overseen by that child you picked.
Can you get a room in a specialty nursing home for 4000$ a month that sounds low
The co host is really good at chiming in at right time. The other new girl is not good at at.
Yes, Jade acts like she owns the place. She even interrupts Dave. Lol.
I am sorry but i would let go of sis.....
I guess thats what moms thinking
For decades she is done thatsvwhy she only left her 1/6
The woman to his left barely wanted to speak
That's because she has nothing to offer. She knows a thing or two about student loans, but as a rule, she's a pretty weak Ramsey Personality.
Dave can be condescending too so she’s probably nervous
@@bm421 Yep. WHen Dave's not they. She talk's a lot.
Special Needs Trust for the sister. Yes all of it. Also was disability ever investigated?
Social security disability plus a group home/workshop for the disabled is exactly what this sister needs. She will likely be unable to inherit anything due to her 'child-like' state, legally. No special needs trust, even, probably: it may depend on the state laws. SSDI is intended for people in this exact situation.
Good for her. It is her money, not the kids.
Honestly you should mind your own business if she doesn’t and passes just give them money to your sis or help her take care of her that’s why I wouldnt share my will when I’m alive
My dad's like this he was sitting on a stupid amount .
Paranoid about taxes etc
Yeah, tell this advice to your greedy siblings. I feel badly for the mother and this brother. The other people need to be outed from the Will.
None of your business
Tell mom to turn off Fox.
Cash is a loosing investment every time especially lately.
Yet ANOTHER idiot that doesn't know the difference between "lose" and "loose". Are you retards all the same person or something?
AVP
I'm not sure where to start ./ but ,... cool/
Giving premium care to one person is a waste of an inheritance... There are low cost services out there that disabled people can live in.
✝️🙏
You're cute, Christina..
Mothers are a nightmare.
Get to the point! Quit hemming & hawing. It’s frustrating.
Just becasue you have a disabled sister doesn't mean you want your mom to leave then all her money lol Im fairly sure there will be come arguing if each sibling doesn't get their cut...Being disabled doesn't make you a victim how do we know this disabled sister isn't a mean person? why does she deserve more? How is she living now without all the extra money? Serious questions need to be asked...its moms money she can leave it all to her cat if she wants thats up to her...Just becasue you have kids does NOT mean you are obligated to keep help9ng them even when your dead...We dont know if these kids deserve any of her money anyway...or if they will do good with it or just buy a nicer car...or go on a vacation...
While I agree that it’s 100% mom’s choice, if the sister has the mental capacity of an actual child, that’s how she should be considered, legally and ethically. Family should take care of family. Especially parent-child. If this were a crazy, but functioning grown woman, that’d be a completely different story. This is one of the biggest problems in this world. Family has fallen by the wayside.
Wow
Disabled can mean a lot of thing. It doesn't automatically assume it will cost a lot to take care of them.
I think you missed the part about her be as smart as a 6th grader.
@@BabyGators unfortunately
I thought older people were supposed to be wise. People like not thinking of the future
Dumb comment. Obviously, this couple did think of the future because they still have $450K & paid off house at 82 years old, with a disabled daughter to boot.
How do you know how much it takes to takes care of the sister?
He is not a doctor. He does not know how the sister is.
The mom is doing good with money.
Dave seems like he had parents issues.
The other kids are grown and can work they can fend for themselves . With a 80 year old mother, her children are probably 35+. The disabled sister needs caregivers around the clock if the siblings want to be able to do their own thing and have someone else take care of their sister. I don’t think this sister can just work a regular job like her siblings. Think about that
@@JenniC2 she doesn’t need around the clock caregivers, but she does need a group home with some help
Care takers for disabled people is not cheap. Care takers literally do everything for the disabled person.
It seems that it’s actually YOU that has parent issues.
@@JenniC2 We don't know how disabled she is.
@@mikenelson8377 We don't know if she does need a care giver.
There's some high school that can't even do math are read on a fifth grade level.
Why do we need to take care of massively disabled people? I cant imagine being that much of a burden on my family.
Do you expect them to kill her to solve the problem?
Oof
why is dave being so rude and aggressive.. can't believe this guy has become a mult-millionaire with the business model where people themselves call-in to get yelled-at and being implied how stpid they are!