Fade, Interrupted: When the Elders Come Calling - Episode 3 (with Brandon Fiquett)
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- Soon after leaving volunteer service in Watchtower's computer department, Brandon began shedding his beliefs as a Jehovah's Witness and sought a fresh start on the other side of the country. But unbeknownst to him, his personal information would be transferred to elders he'd never met who would come calling at his door with questions about this sex life.
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5 generations born in huh?
Well I’m the sixth generation on my family and I’m happy I’m the first generation to wake up and finally be mentally free. It’s tough as hell but I’m really glad I’m not the only one on the other side of this mess . Props to Brandon
I hope you have family, if not on your side, at least willing to keep contact with you. Or at the very least, good friends. I don't talk to my extended family but I can only imagine how awful it would be, having *no one* to talk to.
Amazing to think each of those generation s believed a totally different 'truth'
I have been officially out now since my husband left me when I became chronically ill and that was the second time. What turned me was how they treated my ex when he left me the first time! Their wife’s made him cookies and brought him meals. Not one elder came to see me ever until about a year and half after he left and we were divorced.We did not have a biblical divorce, and after I started sleeping around, (according to the gossip that is)I learned just exactly what they mean, by two elders who came to see me by surprise 4 years after I started fading and shortly after my ex-husband had been introduced to her. After the circuit overseer informed the elders there that we were still married, and so he could no longer see her, well unless they could prove I had a boyfriend. I was so sick that day, but I wanted to tell the elders (another point you should know is this was the same elder that my husband started to chum around before our divorce, and who introduced my ex to the ‘sister’) I was so sick I could barely breathe and my doctor had told me to stay in bed. I had over 102temperature and they wanted to come and visit me that day to let me know that the world may have given me a divorce, but I was still married according to the bible. Do you know why I started to see another man in the first place.? It was because of what I learned was mental abuse, but the physical abuse that I had covered up and hid, was done over 20 years and I was also abused by witnesses until one drugged as a married adult and raped me! Which gave me nightmares and after several months of this told my ex. about it, and could never seek counselling about because I had to hide it from fear of what I would face with the elders and the family of the rapist. Interestingly now I know that if the elders had reported this pedophile when it was found out that he raped a 13 yr old sister who babysat for him, and if they had reported it to the authorities he would have been convicted and in jail would have been around to rape me. He turned out to have even raped his wife’s sister and other girls as well and was convicted of it about 10 years later. But once I told my husband and I started to admit to myself all the other abuse, he did not want me to talk about any of it. And two years later I was told by him that he had never believed me and that I must have did something to lead the man on. So despite the warnings of not going to an outside counselling, I still did. That counselling was intense and what I needed to get through it. When I got sick while I was married I was never given and kindness or love by him once I got sick because he believed I was exaggerating how bad the pain was, he never thought anything of saying nasty things to me. I was told I had fibromyalgia (it was way worse then that but i did not know till they showed in my blood work another 3-4 years after that.That’s why the pain was so severe, and am now in a wheelchair. But the elder that my ex was chummy with had fibromyalgia and so because that man could do so much more then me, and he was an elder and pioneer. So why was I claiming so much more, and he believed that elder over his wife.)
There is so much more you lose as a witness and if you were born into it and if almost all your dads family was and you came from a small town and were as segregated as we were, then when you grow up and and your husband has left you, you have no one to turn to for help. You lose everyone. But I was by that time very sick, so was on Long term disability from my job. So I lost my health, and my job and then my husband and then my relatives and family and all my friends. I was disfellowshipped the same week that they dropped in to see me, they did not care that my doctor told me to stay in and in bed as I had pneumonia as it turned out and they still wanted me at the hall that night. I simply said no, which to them means I am lying to get out of meeting with the elders. I wasn’t and never have told a lie. I had called and told them I couldn’t go that night and so they said then that they still want to see me at the hall on the Thursday. Then the elder, my ex’s bestie, told me that if I didn’t show up, they were going to have the meeting anyway. When JW Elders love their job so much, they go after the sick ex wife. All my life I was told that disfellowshipping was to protect the congregation from an evil doer. That was why they had to go out their way to get us bad ones. The only reason I had a boyfriend at that time was because he had befriended me when I was in the hospital for a month. He was kind to me then because I could barely move, he lent me all the classic plays he had on cassette tape, to help me try and get through the pain. I had asked my husband to buy me a small cheap cassette player, because I had to borrow it from the hospital and had to always give it back to them after a few hours. He would come everyday to see me in the hospital, except when he was too busy. But all he did was come in and sit down and he would grab a magazine and sit and read it and stay till visiting hours were over. But on meetings nights he would run the hall to catch the last half hour or so. He would never hug me, but the appropriate witnesses would see him and tell me what a wonderful Christian husband I had, he would take care of his family and then his spiritual needs. No that was not what he was. Abusive and controlling and a coward as well. Since he left me, doesn’t the bible say, that if a man should leave his wife and she should commit adultery, that he is equally to blame because he left her in a sense open to someone else who seen she was vulnerable. I was lying down in so much pain and he had dropped by to see how I was and he felt such compassion for my situation that he asked if he could give me a hug. That day, this was exactly what had been missing in my life. Care and that person brought me cold clothes for my head and tried to get me to eat, but what meant the most was his hug and he had cried when he saw me so bad. I was only 36. That turned into a on and
Brandon comes across as a totally genuine, lovely man. His emotional pain is clear, so very glad he didn't become another watchtower suicide statistic. Best wishes to him for his future happiness and healing and thank you both for a great interview.
Don't know why, but I sort of do things backwards. I like to read people's comments 1st b4 I watch the video many times to give me a heads up to what's it about n if this is something I want to watch, as there's so many stories on channels now.
The word u mentioned was suicide n knowing that it is indeed real, some have after being shunned, even gb members; Morris's own nephew. Disfellowshipped for being gay n then he gives that horrible talk eitherva few weeks later or a few mths later. It was clear it was directed at his nephew. So cruel. In time (I dont know the time period, maybe uvdo) sadly he committed suicide. His sis woke up b4 he died n they resumed a relationship again.
Yes I agree this young man definately the potential was there for him to be another statistic. Thankfully when being harassed by the bullies (wt headquarters hadcto be behind it; he knew too much; he was a liability to them). Having a loving partner n kids, a job friends; it all helped save him.
Thanks Brandon and Lloyd. Any non JWs must find this so bizarre...but this is the reality. Hunted down by elders and shunned by family when all you want to do is leave peacefully. All this action does is move people further into activism and who can blame them. Thank both you for your courage.
I'm a non-JW and it's a no and yes for me. It's bizarre because it IS bizarre, in the sense that no one should have to live that way, be treated that way and be made to think it's NOT bizarre.
It's not bizarre in the sense that we are human beings. I will obviously never understand what you'd have to go through, but to some degree, a non-JW should be able to picture it (theoretically) in someway and understand it, albeit within their (limited) scope of references, if not simply because some things are universal: the need to feel a sense of belonging, loving your family, being afraid of the unknown, prejudice, the sadness of loss, the anxiety when feeling trapped and robbed of your voice and sense of self... Even faith. Some people need religion. I don't, but being raised in s secular society I at least had the chance to discover that on my own and the right to make my own decision.
Our neighbours were JW and their daughter and I were best friends until we started school. As a kid I didn't understand why we were so different, I just accepted it. Too bad they couldn't in the end. But that's just it: *couldn't*. When you're born into it, it's not a choice and even if you've chosen it and been indoctrinated, it's not like you can just shrug it off either. You can't blame the person who's trapped in a lie, but you SHOULD blame the liar who made and upholds a human trap. No matter who you are, you're still part of the same society, the same world, so in a sense, as non-JWs, we have even more of a responsibility to fight this injustice just because we CAN.
It’s only in the entitled world of JW elders where it’s ok for complete strangers to turn up at somebody’s door and ask them questions about their sex lives.
Literally nowhere else is this even remotely acceptable.
Unbelievable.
It's not acceptable. He should have been arrested.
That was totally rude and uncouth! I understand they have to do what they gotta do but wow, just come to the door and ask about someone personal life like that is very disturbing!
It really is unacceptable, when someone has stopped attending the meetings and is no longer active, they are free to live their lives as they see fit. Now, if someone were to go back, then unfortunately these types of questions might be unavoidable. On Sunday morning our house is a favored stop, who can blame them, field service without a clear message feels like a waste of time, only good thing is getting to know someone better. After the Memorial, one elder came to our door, and the next week he brought another with him, but they have since ceased "caring". If only the veiled messages would stop as well...
The David Miscavige cult, the Church of Scientology does it through his Office of Special Affairs.
You obviously haven't dealt with "family" court. They come to your door with guns and the threat of being caged if you don't show up to answer such questions in a public forum, after spending thousands of dollars for the "priviledge" and have whatever "records" they decide to write placed on file to be accessable to the public.
These religious cults are amazingly like the cult of the "judicial" system. The judicial system uses guns and cages, but the rest of it is basically the same, only the window dressing is different.
Pretty sure they all spring from the same filthy font. Check out "Cults, Lies, and Videotape" by John Judge. He goes into a lot of detail about the genesis of many cults.
Brandon, very sorry for the loss of your family. My wife and I studied back in the late 1960's, we left in 2001. All of our close friends and Witness family members cut us off. It is indeed a real journey leaving a religion such as Jehovah's Witnesses or Scientology. I wish you the best, hopefully each day you gain a little more in the way of friends and life and some day you canlook at your life as a JW as it really was, everything was conditional based on the Organizations view of you and what you do inits behalf.
Thank you Lloyd for hosting Brandon. It is disgusting how WT treats those who leave. Thanks for your story Brandon it does help a lot. As one of a large army of single ex jw women, you can believe we go through our own nightmare! Funny about the registered letter thing ...it happened to me too! Got a notice Friday to pick up a Registered letter on Monday!! Omg all my alarms went off, called my Lawyers office to make sure he would be available & planned all week-end how to attack this problem & deal with 2 Janitors and a real estate Salesman! Turns out it was about a house Ins policy !!!
In my view it is almost impossible to fade away from watchtower, unless you are going to live the rest of your life as a JW.
You are never really free to live life as you choose unless you disassociate or are disfellowshipped. I understand people's desire to maintain family relationships but remember at any point in time it could all be taken away from you when you least expect it.
Thank you for sharing this story, much appreciated.
You are totally right but it is so difficult. I am in a difficult situation now because of that.
I went ahead and called the elders and asked them to DF me. I couldn’t handle the “other shoe dropping”. I needed to cut ties.
Not true, it can be done but its a complete do over, you have to start your life completly over. I dod it after 30 years a JW, it was the best thing I have ever done! Been out 11 years now.
I think it also depends on who your local body is. And probably how high profile you are. I’m thinking Tony Morris would be dogged if he tried to fade.
I tried to fade- never df’d that doesn’t mean my family talks to me. They hold me very far away from them. As soon as you show them who you are they shun. Admit you don’t believe. Shun... etc etc.
you are going to lose people. I want everyone to know that people in the org will not treat you well if you are not active. Either shunning or extremely stressed relationships- you will lose some people but what you gain is what you need to focus on.
Free yourself and your children - worth it
The org has no boundaries and have such a self inflated view of themselves. They are inappropriate on so many levels. They seem to go after those they feel threatened by. However both of you are living proof there is a better life outside of the borg. Thankyou for your integrity not be silenced. You show more care and respect for those you love still inside - something they will never understand.
The Watchtower presents: "The Struggle Against Satan and the Threat of Critical Thinking."
Cost of Admission: your cerebral cortex.
John, you aren't over sharing, you're being honest. Thank you for your honesty. The mind control is responsible for all this insane behavior.
Quick break down of my life as a Jw. 1. Born into the ‘religion’ 2. Married at 17 due to falling pregnant by Jw boyfriend told we had no other option. 3. Baptised at 21 to prove I was truly repentant for my past transgressions. 4. 14yrs married to a violent alcoholic Jw who only ever had shepherding visits to help him (not me and our 4 children) 5. Beaten so badly police and social workers were involved. 6. He was finally disfellowshiped. We separated and he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Came back to me and the children so I could care for him in his last days. He outlived the prognosis and thus began the beating. Alcohol and drug abuse again. Found out he was having an affair so kicked him out. I was struggling mentally after years of traumatic abuse stopped going to meetings, was seen smoking 1 cigarette and then few weeks later sent a message from an old friend in congregation saying they had just announced at the Thursday night meeting I was disfellowshiped. That’s almost a year ago and I can finally say for the first time in my life I am truly truly happy.
This was an incredibly powerful and moving interview. Huge thanks to you both for being so open and honest with your audience. The pain that you've both gone through, and are still going through, is tangible. Sending love your way. And Brandon, it's great to hear that you've found love in the arms of another ex witness who can fully relate to your experience. Very happy for you.
I was accused of things that I didn’t even do when I was very active as a JW. I was so afraid of being dis fellowship and losing everyone. I became Suicidal and have been ignored by my ‘loving’ brothers. My friend was disfellowshiped for something he didn’t do. I am still fearful but your story is so helpful. My friend is still trying to appeal to the elders because he wants his friends and family back. It’s just so sad!
Brandon you are so genuine and very articulate. Lloyd I understand your "jealousy" and your pain *sigh*
Thank you Brandon for sharing your story. Best wishes in your continued journey into freedom & many happy wishes to you & your fiancée & son. To both Lloyd & Brandon, respect & heartfelt empathy because of the severed relationships with family as a result of cult indoctrination by WT. ✌️
I’ve watched quite a few of your videos. I must say that despite everything you and Brandon have been through, you are very generous and forgiving of those still under the JW mind control. I’m not sure I would be able to share those kind sentiments if I was cut off like you were. You truly have kind and loving hearts.
I am always amazed the amount of born ins who are waking up.
Yep I was a born in too
Same here Born-in and now
Me
I was born in. I'll be 55 in June. I've been out for about 2 years. My waking was slow and steady.
My wife was born in...she is out 1 and half years. I was not born in, but was 5 years old when family came in. I am out 1 and half years. Eldest daughter born in is now out. Youngest daughter still going but giving it only tacit support as she has only close friends but will never shun us no matter what. She knows the truth about the truth. I am still hopeful that she will leave eventually. And finally my mum and dad have quite about six months ago. We can only hope for the rest.
Loved the phrase that you were ready when you met Lloyd with your dark glasses- ready to go - in case "demons started to pour through the door"! I know exactly how you felt.
Cheers Brandon, you told my story in many ways, I was scared, filled with anxiety, and too a sense of true freedom, thank you so much for this story, you too Lloyd
I can detect the pain still being processed by you Brandon! I feel for you. I went through the Certified letter thing myself and admittedly it does cause emotional trauma like being pulled over by the police! I would like to thank my loving wife (who was mentally out for at least 10 years!), my understanding immediate family (my children, who were long gone for years)and a very intuitive therapist who was willing to learn what JW's and cults were all about. It DOES get better, but unfortunately the inner psyche changes quite slowly and in its own time. I applaud you Brandon and welcome you to living the real life!
I look at disfellowshipping from Watchtower like; How I would feel if Satan kicks me out of his organization. I'm grateful.
I was glued to every single word said in this heartbreaking story.. thank you for sharing and giving us all hope for the future. You’re experience and coping skills will certainly help many struggling with the mental health aspects of their journey.
Big love for you guys.
Thanks for sharing Brandon took a lot of courage to share your personal stuff, awesome dude...
Thank you for sharing your story Brandon! You come off as such a kind person with a big heart. I wish you every happiness in this new life you are forging- you deserve it. Also, thank you for being so open about your mental health, that can’t be easy to talk about, please know you are helping people with your story 💛
So moving. Both of you have given this old apostate a warm glow to his heart, thank you!
Ap 1:08, "We know you're disfellowshipped now, and we can't do it for fear of being disfellowshipped ourselves." And that right there is the evil behind this practice. I would strongly encourage anyone who is still physically in, and who has loved ones who have been disfellowshipped, to keep in or return to contact with those loved ones. Stand up to the threat of being shunned just for being in contact with someone else who's been shunned. Anyone should be free to stop interacting with someone they don't want to contact, but nobody should have that held as a threat over their head to force them into involuntarily stopping contact with others.
Wow thank you for sharing more of your story Brandon. It’s interviews like this that help me get through tough days where you feel alone and like no one understands.
Brandon - you are an incredibly strong man. It is so terribly sad about the JW having this dreadful shunning policy. I hope and pray that our parents will wake up one day.
When Brandon talked about the letters, my experience with leaving the LDS church came flooding back. An Elder called me at college to come to church. I said no, and he said "ok then, you'll be excommunicated." I said you do what you gotta do, and I hung up. I cried, for no reason I know of.
much love to you, Brandon. Thank you for sharing and remaining so dignified through all the crap they have put you through x
I'm so proud of you Mr. Fiquett.
Thank God for the exjw community💝💝💝
I live 3 hours north of you, Brandon. You’re welcome to come up, and I’m always available to come down if you need support! Thanks for telling your life story.
You have no idea how much this has been helpful to me. I started going to the hall and studying at about five due to the door to door work. I would love to be able to tell you my personal story. But anyway I stop going at the age of 23. To find out just the little bit that I did was devastating. I lost every friend I grew up with, they were my family.and as you know people that aren't witnesses have no idea. Any way thank you for putting this out. And for those that are questioning their faith Everything that I heard in this mans videos is absolutely true.
Love to you both . So sad as a mum listening.. even if the watchtower gets to a point of just leaving people walk out the door and leave them alone after will be a great achievement for them . My son was victimised so much by elders ringing him he changed his phone number but they still hunted him and caught up with him in the end . Very abusive of their power. They act like this with every one now this is not unique .
Oh Brandon, you are so lucky, I feel like being glad you made it out.
I've never been a jw myself but my boyfriend was as a child.
Together we have a son, he is 11, he barely knows the jw family members of his dad :(
Our son is robbed of his grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews... for no reason. All his life I am trying to explain to him why they won't care, it just breaks our hearts.
So sad how they treat there family members. How can they even call themselves christians
Thanks for sharing your story Brandon. Much luck in your new marriage.
I met a jw recently while on a flight. we got to talking and he could not believe that I had "left Jehovah" I think he could not believe that I was so happy. He kept saying that I should come back and I kept telling him all the reasons why I would not, including their false prophecies,
their psychological abuse and their need to control you, living in the FOG and the B.I.T.E mode. Poor fella, he seemed out of his depths with all that I attempted to feed him.
What is BITE and FOG?
@@theresaakins2317 Yeah, Im interested in knowing what it means also.
Thanks for telling your story. It's terrible that they put you through that. We went through some bullying by elders also. It was unbelievable that these men have the nerve to do that.
I am late to this video and have never had any close contact with JW except for a guy who came calling a few times to our house. The irony of it was that his family name was Teufel 👿 (German for devil). However, what I want to say is how deeply I am touched how you exJWs build such a beautiful community, help and support each other. Brandon’s story just brings tears to my eyes. The time is here for false and untrue things, wrongs and injustices to come to light. Just thinking about my small corner of the world it’s amazing to see how it’s simply not possible anymore to uphold big lies. From the bottom of my heart 💜, all the best to the both of you. 🤗
You two guys look like natural brothers.
I had a similar experience reconnecting with "worldly" family (with whom I wasn't allowed to have a relationship). They are some of the most accepting and non-judgmental people I've ever met! I also now have friends that are closer to me than any I ever had as a JW. If I were looking for a "friend sticking closer than a brother", the JW organization is one of the last places I would be able to find one!
A wonderful interview! Thank you, Lloyd and Brandon! I know this discussion was difficult for both of you; your pain was palpable. I am sorry for that, but please know that you have touched many hearts. I know you touched mine. Please keep forging ahead! What you are doing is so important!
I do wonder if "Watchtower" will ever figure out that they are CREATING activists by their underhanded tactics...
i think some elders create a narcissistic viewpoint of their own mightiness; its hard to have insight with that state of mind
Thanks for sharing your story Brandon. So, now the elders are behaving like the FBI. This is crazy.
When I left they sat in there cars for days watching me. Stalking me.
People in power will do anything to keep from losing it.
@Jazzmine Jackson Many cults are creations of U. S. intelligence agencies. See John Judge's "Cults, Lies, and Videotape" on youtube.
I respect these men. The last interaction i had was with an elder who was also my boss at a correctional facility an incidentent occurred and i saw the man. An uncarring jack ass and i was in a position where i couldnt tell anyone that would listen. In an attemped breakout i was sprayed with foam from fire extinguishers. The man walked away and went home. Everything i ever thought about the "elders" went down the drain that day i went to the hospital and could have died. I was done no person that had gods spirit would act that way
Lloyd, thanks for all you do, and thank you to Brandon for sharing your story.
He should sue them for stealing his personal info , harassment, and bullying
Exactly!
TylerLTOBell94 eveeyone should sue them! Make them go bankrupt please its the only legitimate way to end them
Yes, i don't understand why he involved a lawyer to write a letter, then let the Elders continue to harass & defame him without consequences!
Glad you shared this story Brandon. It is hard to have to deal with these issues after leaving this religion. I hope things get better for you.
The Leah Remini series on Scientology did it for me. I had doubts for a while but seen how similar JWs are to Scientology just really did it for me. And then there was the time I needed up in court for standing up for abused kids in my cong and how useless the elders and CO were
Same here
I watched it as well. Listening to that, I couldn’t believe some of the stuff they went through, then I’d think woe, jw does that too.
This video is a testament to the human origin of the JW cult that isolates, excludes and manipulates family members citing the authority of their personal god.
It's important to notice that without the participation of the followers, the mental and physical abuse inflicted by the Watchtower Elders would not be possible.
The Declaration of Independence and the First Amendment to the Constitution both provide FREEDOM OF RELIGION and FREEDOM FROM RELIGION.
Brandon is my friend and he suffered a lot because of those letters, I remember talking to him and seeing the picture of the guy who was stalking him. I’m just waiting for them to do the same to me since I faded...
My goodness. These men are audacious! Coming your HOUSE and asking about YOUR sexual relationship at the door!!!! My goodness. You were polite. I would have poured boiling water on someone
To Keren Ngonga, you go girl, I would have used oil though.
I left 9 months ago. It was really hard for me because of all the loss I felt. Also anger why I chose that life. I wasn't raised a witness, I and only I am responsible for subjecting myself to that. Relationships I didn't have with my family who were not in the truth. That my kids missed out on so much and had to be the weird kid who didn't salute, eat birthday cupcakes, etc. Not dating because of the only in the religion rule. Etc, etc, etc just so much loss. The good thing now though is my Son and I are on the same page.
I hear myself in your comment. I know you are feeling guilt because of your children, but please be gentle with yourself. Give yourself time.
Peace to you and your family Brandon.
Thanks for sharing Brandon, no doubt that must of been incredible hard to go through and then to retell your story publicly showed a tremendous amount of courage. I could feel your pain as you recounted those memories. Your story along with the growing amount of testimonials against the society will help people break free from the mind bondage they inflict.
Solla Sollew I really hope so!
You left one world wide brotherhood, but you joined another one.....one that will love and support you for who you are, not what you believe.
Isn't it interesting Brandon gets invited to Bethel due to his participation in college level computer courses Watchtower condemns.
Welcome Home Brother Brandon!!
Terms like, "spiritual food" bring back nightmare memories.
Always enjoy your videos, thank you Brandon for sharing.
Really emotional heartbreaking story! Thanks for sharing, I know it will be good for some JW’s.
Thanks Lloyd for another great video. Thank you Brandon for sharing your story. It’s astonishing how similar Watchtower is to Scientology when it comes to harassing and punishing people who leave. Why not just let people who fade just fade, and live in peace? But no, they want to put people in a position where they are shunned and persecuted for daring to have thoughts in their heads that the GB didn’t put there.
Monica Owens Ya know, they talk about persecution, but they are the ones persecuting any former member who disagrees with policy, leaves, speaks up. Classic narcicissim.
Cindy Arnold absolutely right.
So fascinating how the xMo, xJW, and xScientologists are so helpful in educating those still inside. Good job !
I disassociated when I was 16. I recently had an elder send me a Facebook message asking about my sister, who doesn’t have a Facebook account, so he somehow saw my post with a photo of me and her, who is a virtually inactive JW. I was furious, and completely ignored him. The nerve!
Fascinating to hear Brandon's account of what could well be the construction and install of the systems containing Watchtower's CSA records. If the FBI ever gets it's act together and moves to address this issue, that hardware should be the priority for them to seize and examine.
Thank you, Lloyd and Brandon, for sharing this video. What you are doing is expanding an awareness for everyone involved, including Brandon's parents and Eric Larson and the other local elders. When I was a devout JW believer I shunned people as I had been trained to do, but it felt so wrong, and, looking back, I can see that those experiences helped me to awaken. Keep up the awesome work, Lloyd Evans!
If you go the route of getting a lawyer and sending a cease a desist order never sign for or accept letters or phone calls from the other party. Just let them twist in the wind. And if they show up at your door after the c&d letter go to court and request a stalking order
Yep; all contact goes through the lawyer, never to you.
Thank you Brandon
This was obviously difficult and emotionally wearing on you
So happy your still here and moving on
All the best to you and your family 🙏
Thank you Lloyd for the work you do
Your humanness
Nothing like the apostates that have been painted growing up as a JW
EX JW for a few years
I notice that the letter from elders was dated 19th March with a date set for judicial committee on 25th March.
It seems to be standard procedure that these letters are not invitations to attend. They are sent merely to demonstrate you were contacted. It's something to file to show process took place.
It's akin to the monthly publisher reports: something to demonstrate your attendance on field service.
It's all about process and procedure. It's a constant judgement by documentation.
Watchtower calculates members 'worth' based on documents and recordings of figures and opinions.
Brandon, good luck to you brother. My experience tells me, your personal success will be an indicitement of the Watchtower org. I have friends that I left behind, but each of us has to wake up in our own way. Thank god for the friends I have made since, folks who have real unconditional love.
Excellent interview. I do like the way you stay emotionally attuned to Brandon. I agree that his JW father was "only" doing what a "true" believer should do to reach his "wayward" son. However, his father's dysregulated behaviour when visiting Brandon is simply inexcusable. His fsther was out of control and his display reflects badly on his "faith". The goading - "Be a man...you're a coward..." etc - was uncalled for. Sure, his father's trying to reach him - but the way he did it was deplorable. Another exsmple of the way religion distorts and destroys relationship. Thsnk you Lloyd and Brandon. An intelligent, thoughtful discussion about how heavily JW organization tries to bully and intimidate - all in the service of their "loving" God.
Wow Brandon (and Lloyd)... if you hadn't shared that video starting at 44:38 in, not many would be able to even imagine such a scene straight from the Twilight Zone or the X-Files... my God, it's just unbelievable how far these elders went to invade your privacy. You have to realize that this is totally insane. I have great respect for you sharing (and especially showing) your experience. You are such a gentleman and when you shut the door in the face of that bully at the precise moment of him having the nerve to 'invite' you to a judicial committee, just know that was the exact right reaction. It couldn't be better! The most vindictive, childish and lowest reaction from their part was to call you up and try to rub it in that you were disfellowshiped. This totally exposed them. This operation of intimidation and humiliation hasn't succeed. But it surely showed and shows the true colors of the elders of this organization nowadays more than ever. Be proud of yourself and thank you for an extreme eye (and heart)-opening interview!
You guys are doing so much good. Thank you
I've never in my entire life had a conversation with my father without him yapping about the religion. I'm 54 yo...at this point I am glad he can't talk to me. Thanks for the video and sharing your story. I'm very happy you found love and living your best life
I have an uncle like that.
Thank you for your story Brandon wow! Surely the law is on your side for harassment and bullying.
Great job Lloyd. Such an important issue to talk about
I liked the Christmas 🎄 in his house when the Elders came knocking 😂
Candace Fleming -
Good catch! L😂😂L!!
This is not a religion of God's Love.. This is a very bad group of people that use mind control... I too got tangled up with this cult.. I know for a fact they prey on vulnerable people big time! Hang in there young man. I know it's hard I'm trying to keep my daughter from falling under they spell. I wish their religion and also Islam's dogma would just disappear.
Another excellent interview. Really like your interview style.
It’s very rewarding watching former cult members escaping the grasp of a cult. Sliding right out of their claws and into a genuine life.
One they control themselves.
Brandon sounds like me. I bought past literature to verify stuff for myself.
Ha, ha, good for you Brandon. I see those Christmas lights on the house, and ornaments in the tree outside. So happy you just close the door on those stormtroopers.
the great pain of the brother is perceived due to the expulsion and the loss of his family .......... this sect takes away everything you have ...... many of us are going through this situation ... ..... and many others, will be valuing it at this moment ......... one can stay inside pretending for a while but it is not bearable so their experience of courage and suffering and resignation is of great help for all of us.
After listening to Brandon during this interview, I couldn't help but see and here how deeply Scarred, and traumatized he was by the way he spoke. I hope that he is going to be ok. I'm an ex bethelite my self, and live just south of Seattle. I know how the process of struggling to find your place, can be emotionally, draining, and for me it took years to feel stable. The long term effects of leaving a cult, can take it's toll. Just remember, you are not alone. There are others out here who are willing to support you.
And I am one.
Another great interview
Thanks Lloyd
Theses elders tracking down witnesses is crazy who do they think they are? Plus they are so intrusive and crass. A proper high control cult now and getting worse.
I recently had a phone call from an elder I've never met starting straight out asking incredibly personal questions. I was so taken aback I could hardly get my words out. They are so inappropriate.
If it happens again, you could pretend that you can't hear what they're saying, and give totally ridiculous responses. They ask a question (whatever it is) and you respond with something about the weather: "What did you say? Oh, yes we've had some wonderful weather lately. The trees are so happy, too, with all the rain we had," etc. Do that for a while until you simply must get off the phone, because you have something urgent (i.e. like get something to lower your blood pressure or scream). Thank them for calling and wish them a good day. Click.
I left my JW husband who was a drunk & abuser & gave no one my address but the elders tracked it down & stalked me.
@@jdstep97 or you could just tell them to fuck off and leave you alone. Then hang up the phone or close the door or whatever. Anyone ever tried that? It works for me. I'm a non-violent person but I'm not above threatening violence to people who harass me. And I've got the build to back up that threat in addition to no fear of death. And I'm not afraid of damnation either!
I understand that high control groups form and condition a mindset among the following that causes them to be viewed as authority figures who must be obeyed and given their full attention and respect. But the fact that you've left the group already would seem to suggest that the individual in question does not recognize that Authority, or they wouldn't have left to begin with. These people have no authority over you and you don't have to listen to shit! I come from an Evangelical Lutheran background and upbringing but I've never been a believer of any sort. I did not have a choice as to whether or not I was baptized oh, because they do that when you're an infant. And Confirmation in the church, which is somewhat equivalent to a baptism for the JW's as it it when you become a full-fledged member of the church is not really a choice either. Your parents make you do it. You don't really get the choice to say no unless you want bad things to happen to you. Very much like Jehovah's Witnesses actually. Anyway back on point here, the second I moved out of my parents house, I was done with it forever. People from the church still tried to call me and Chase me down every now and then though. I just told them to fuck off. From my training I received from them I learned that this was just part of their process towards excommunication. I told them to skip all the annoying steps and just excommunicate me. I've never believed in their God oh, I think their Bible is ridiculous and provably false and I don't want to have anything to do with any of them. I only got confirmed because my parents made me and I didn't have a choice as to whether I was baptized or not. But as an adult I can sure as hell tell them to fuck off and leave me alone. I told him to text her Bible stories and sell them to someone stupider.
The best "revenge" is to live well. God bless.
Reminds me of my brother's story. He was inactive and faded for years and then my grandparents (active JWs) got a call from an Elder to tell them that he had been disfellowshipped (was remarried and they assumed things with no witnesses or evidence) and they could be longer associate with him. He didn't even get a letter or courtesy call to check if he knew. Truly a loving organization 🤮
I cant help thinking about "The water became blod" prophecy when I se the picture in the background.
Hey Lloyd, you're almost at the 50k subscriber milestone. Are there any celebrations?
Great question! There will be a celebratory livestream, I just need to figure out the details. I want it to be as interesting as possible! :)
John Cedars 8 bottles of expensive whiskey?
@@LloydEvansJehovah wouldn't approve.
Trully heartbreaking story. Hold on Brendon.
Glad to hear Brandon got in touch with fellow Wisconsinite Daniel Wiebe after looking up "depression and JW's". He's put together fantastic thought-provoking video subjects. Everyone who is waking up or haven't yet seen Daniel should check out "Ex-JW Moving On".
Wow. Didn't know this was available. As a DF'd older ExWitnwss, in my day (the 80's) I just had to struggle thru it alone and up to this day! Well no more. Now I have some resources to help me.
It’s almost been a year since this interview but my heart goes out to Brandon. I hope he has moved on and that he’s living a relatively happy life now.
What a great interview.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! Thanks for sharing your story Brandon. This is crazy,and very stalkerish. Your relationship is your private concern, not theirs. Glad you got legal counsel!
The audacity of these men. They really think their "little" committee has any importance in your life. They need to go fly a Kite.
Kathryn Ossoff they are the worst!
The phrase ‘they need to go fly a kite’ makes me smile every time I hear it!
Very good interview and expose this religion.
A great interview - thank you Lloyd. I wish Brandon all the best for his future. Hopefully his parents will eventually "wake up"!
I feel so bad for Brandon. Just this past week I've been dealing with all of the emotions that come with realizing that I've been duped since I was 7 years old when my mom started studying with the witnesses. I am now 61 yrs old and it's horrible to feel alone. I do feel that Jehovah put this "worldly" Englishman in my path who loves me dearly, and he will help detoxify my brain from this terrible religion from Satan the Devil. I will start doing my own research. I am eternally grateful to you truthful men out there (and women) who are revealing truths. This man in my life is wonderful, treats me like I should be treated and will help me through my emotions. The witnesses have not helped me in the past, and especially when I was in 5 different homeless shelters for a year and a month, for all of 2017. I was thoroughly pissed that elders have homes with extra rooms but no one offered anything to me. I tried for decades to get help from elders about my abusive husband, who was always in good standing with every congregation that he moved us to. My ex moved us to Quebec in Canada, to serve where the need was great, and then because that was not enough, we took our 3 kids to mainland China for 3 long abusive years before being sent home to Vancouver, Canada. I am now all alone. I went to a meeting and 2 women are there who had the hots for my son 5 years ago, and tried to get him arrested and sent to a loony bin. The one elder agreed with the women. This is disgusting. My son knows languages out of his ying yang. He was super oppressed by elders because of their jealousy of his abilities, and also because he does DEEP bible study and asks tons of questions and tried to get others to do the same thing. Yup. A cult for sure.
I wish I could say my story on you tube. I hope one day I would be able to do that. Thank you for shearing your story.
Thank you Lloyd and Brandon for an interesting interview. The part where Brandon describes his parents driving 3 hours in order to 'rescue' him reduced me to tears. This cult has such a hold on people making them act in a way that is not the 'true person'. I hope that Brandon manages to move on with his life and put the past behind him.
Great interview! Everyday we learn more horror stories , I hope Brandon finds true happiness with his new marriage. wt brings nothing but misery to everyone.
U must b Erik's wife? Lol