I live in the US, and when you get divorced here, you have to go to court in a group setting. So they have a big room where multiple people get their cases heard one after another, in front of another. When I was waiting to see the judge to get my divorce finalized, there was a trans guy who went ahead of me to get his name legally changed. They read his birth name and birth sex in front of literally everyone in the room. I could see the shame in his face. I felt horrible for him in that moment. The one redeeming moment was when they granted his legal name change to his chosen name, and I got to see how excited it made him. Thankfully, they don’t embarrass people who need to be their true selves all over the world in front of a crowd of people.
It’s the worst! And there’s all kinds of folks in the room so it’s extra super uncomfortable. I’m just glad that we don’t have to do newspaper announcements in California anymore
Congrats bro you're really lucky, I too came out to my mum this year she was shocked at first and then she was like you do whatever you feel is right for you but first build a career for yourself self because society is judgemental and I don't want you to suffer plus i have a really conservative and large family so i guess i still have to live in my closet for few years ( But she said she is always there for me ((Moms are the best)))
Before same-sex marriage was legal in Australia, there was a lesbian married couple on the news and they were legally married. They were able to do this because one of them is transgender and hadn't changed her gender on her birth certificate. But as of 3 years ago, they can be legally married as wives. Also, my great uncle was supposed to get married this year for his and his partner's 30th anniversary because they waited that long for gay marriage to be legalised. Why does homophobia and transphobia exist? We're people, treat us that way.
In Poland you have to sue your parents - yes - sue - like a civil case in actual court to undermine validity of your birth certificate. Only then you can legally change your name. So you can only imagine how long, painful and difficult this process can be for all parties interested - especially if parents disagree. People just have to be really determined to actually go through with it.
@Super Greyflash then you have a problem. Poland is not most citizen friendly country in the world-esp.if you are woman, disabled or LGBT+. Look up in the media what's going on with violating human rights by it's current government
That's what I was wondering...why is a gender even needed on the certificate and why does it need to be said at the ceremony? Yes, Spouse 1/Spouse 2 works fine. In fact, I don't understand why there needs to be gender listed in most places...but that's a whole other Oprah!
David Feuer He mentioned that it was probably a fraud thing; in other words they don’t want someone marrying a person and not knowing that their gender identity and their birth gender aren’t the same (which would be grounds for an annulment in most countries).
David Feuer I don’t disagree that it might be a bogus reason but people do get married without telling their prospective spouse all sorts of things, like knowing they can’t have kids, having children from a previous relationship, having been married before, etc., etc, etc. Any of those major things could be the reason behind asking the courts for an annulment and thus would be a drain on the government.
We got the GRC process before same-sex marriage in the UK (so trans people had to get a GRC to get married at all at the time). When we got same-sex marriage, instead of just saying "any two people can marry" like a normal country, we have two different sets of rules, one for different-sex marriage and the other for same-sex marriage, so you have to specify which one you want. It's deeply stupid, and the marriage is (in law) almost the same anyway (there are some really minor exceptions - you can get a different-sex marriage annulled for non-consummation and you can't for a same-sex marriage because no-one wanted to define anything other than PIV as sex in law, and there are some pensions differences if one or both of you was born in 1958 or earlier), but there were a bunch of transphobic legislators who insisted on it. There is also a stupid rule that if you transition after getting married, you have to get your spouse's consent to do so, because your GRC changes your marriage certificate from same-sex to different-sex (or vice versa) as well as changing your birth certificate. This means that some trans people have had to get a divorce because their spouse was very hostile to them transitioning - and the divorce can take many years if your partner is hostile and determined not to let you.
I do hope you get this comment! As soon as I learned this fact, I thought, "I wonder if Jamie knows that?" Anyway, I recently learned that the American Sign Language sign for "trans" incorporates the signs for "beautiful", "myself", and "becoming". Isn't that wonderful? I think it's the most beautifully appropriate thing I've ever seen. Niles DiMarco and Chella Man have a UA-cam video teaching Queer ASL signs, if anyone is interested.
@@randomperson1934 I might be a bit of an idiot, but what do you mean by that? Is it 'cause Jamie is British? I think that most of the signs in ASL and BSL are either similar or the same, and I've looked up the sign for transgender in both and they look pretty much identical.
My partner and I are both ftm and I propose to him last December but we decide to only get married when both of us have fully socially transitioned (the most important ofc being getting our GRC). It's a bit of a bummer to not be able to marry him right away but I'm so happy that he said yes that if I had to, I would wait a hundred years to marry him :) UPDATE: First of all, thank you so much for all the support! I just wanted to update you a little about our situation: at the beginning of the year, my partner and I decided to remain friends, we both realized that a romantic label wasn't suitable for both our relationship and identities (my bestfriend is aro ace and being in a romantic relationship was really messing with is own vision of himself). It may seem a bit strange but we really are totally okay as being just the bestest friends ever. We had always been more in a queerplatonic type of relationship than anything, we've never really fit in within the "traditional" friend or lover label, so it was more of a trial and error just to find the right label for our relationship... But now that we've experienced both, that we talked about how it made us feel etc, labeling as friends is really what makes us both feel the most comfortable and happy. Anyway, again, I really want to thank all of you for the support you provided us without even knowing us! It was really heartwarming to experience!
I think marriage needs a reform. It should be an editable contract to suit the religious and non-religious needs of the joining couple. Government should only need enough info for taxes and to perform a fair divorce in the case a marriage ends. Because honestly- gender doesn't affect the government _that much_, the only issue I can think of involves jail and how to separate people. (Of course the one thing I hate about the whole jail/prison argument is rape shouldn't be "allowed" or "expected" just coz you're a criminal. It should be safe for a trans person to be integrated with cis people for both parties.)
I'm Canadian... Changing your gender marker (including to X in a lot of provinces) on all of your documents, including birth certificate, is easier than changing your name tbh. UK catch up to your kid!
Omg, this made me realize what *should've* been a giant "I'm trans" flag I should've noticed. When my spouse and I were filling out the online application for the marriage certificate, there was an option to put what you wanted to be listed as on the certificate (husband/wife/spouse). We just put the ones that correspond to our birth sexes bc, well... for starters, neither of us are out, but also I wasn't even out to *myself* yet then. Still, I remember feeling so, so, *so* horribly uncomfortable, with the word "wife" ringing around in my head and making me want to cringe. Tried the whole "wife" thing for a few months, had a mental breakdown and a revelation, and yeah. Maybe someday I'll/we'll be in a place where we can change the certificate; I guess we'll have to wait and see. Plus Idk exactly how the law goes in the US, so that's worth looking into. (Also, your shirt is rad! I could say that on like every video but still. Also, if it does get rejected--which it won't--an army of us will kick up a fuss along with you, lol)
I don’t blame you for wanting to wait! Unfortunately, my husband and I got married when he had his old name. He was only out as trans to a handful of people at that time. We kept our wedding ceremony pretty free of gendered languages. We live in the US. Hopefully, he can get his birth certificate updated so we can also get our marriage certificate updated.
I'm non-binary and in British Columbia, Canada. I only have gone through name change stuff (which still took at least 2 years to get every document advised about the change ect), did fingerprints and they destroyed my birth certificate to get my name updated and send out a new certificate. I also had to get one paper notarized during the process. I'm very grateful that locally in my city, there's a trans health clinic with a trans lawyer who will notarize paperwork for free if it's gender/name related. Another centre in my city has a program and funding to help lower-income trans/non-binary people with the process and pay some of the costs associated with name change/gender marker paperwork, including the cost of a new birth certificate, health card and other ID that's involved.
dw there literally is no practical reason I can see it getting rejected. but if they did you'd have all of us behind you and we'd also be happy to kick up a fuss.
I live in Canada and got married in 2018, I'm non binary and hadn't changed my name at that point. There was no requirement to say certain things at the ceremony. Our officiant was informed way in advance on the language we would prefer in the ceremony and she was very accommodating. She even sent us a script with gender neutral language before hand so we knew exactly what she was going to say. I'm really sorry that it's not the same way in the UK. I hope your approved and all your wedding plans don't stress you out too much.
This is quite a timely video as the state of Tasmania in Australia starts new legislation today regarding gender and birth certificates. It’s groundbreaking. Literally you can just choose to change your gender on the certificate now. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this in a video! I can point you towards articles on this if you’re interested!
I think it's similar in many Canadian provinces and territories. I was born in the Yukon so when I'll change my gender marker I'll just have to pay the fee to change information on it and wait
Did you and Shaaba ever consider getting married in Denmark? Since the UK is still part of the EU, they would still have to accept the marriage, and on the paperwork in Denmark they just ask Spouse #1 and Spouse #2. Just curious (: (I know this because my Husband and I got married there - neither of us are Danish, but since we're an international couple, it was the best options for us)
It definitely differs state-by-state in the US. I live and was born in California, so when I first got my name and gender fixed, I was easily able to get everything all in one go. I got the court order, turned it into the Social Security office first, then once that change went through, I turned it in to the DMV, so they could change it on my license. Then, once I had both of those, I could get my birth certificate fixed, which certain states don't allow (CA does, tho). Now that all of that was fixed, I had to do that for my passport, because the passport goes off of your birth certificate information. I'm getting married in 2021, and now we have to have my fiance go through his name change so that I don't have to pay for a second name change when we get married, since we're combining our last names.
This comment was such a breath of fresh air for me. I was born in San Diego but I've lived in Delaware my whole life. It hadn't occurred to me until watching this video that it may be something I need to do, but hearing that CA will let me change it makes me feel so much better 😅
lovemusicbandchorus hey! Also from San Diego here and I’ve also gotten my legal stuff all changed. It is pretty easy but the bummer is the waiting period for the court order (3 months) & the fact that it costs over $500 all things considered (not including passport). Edit: I misremembered how long it took to get the court order
I think everyone is excited about you and Shaaba. Your couple videos were the reason I had entered this channel, and hearing more information of the community has kept me here ((Your big help for my knowledge and my friends' transitionings)) I wish you guys well, Jamie!!!
Where I live (Belgium) the process is really easy, since 2018 there is a new 'law" about legally changing your gender on your ID and birth certificate. So basically I had to fill in a form that states I am sure that I identify as that gender and all that stuff (templates of this were easy to find) and then both me and my mom had to sign it (since I'm under 18). I had to hand it in in the city hall and then 3 months later had to come back to sign again and state I'm still sure and then just about 3 weeks later everything was changed. I'm really glad it's that simple around here :)
I am watching this now and am an FtM from Canada. The description of the process you are talking about it the same we need to do to just have our name changed legally. To be able to give your name in anything official. Changing your name requires to have your birth certificate changed by default. Also the mention of the gender (so it won't be Miss Andrew and so on). Although I am happy it is possible to do, the steps for us here are quite ... nebulous. You get a list of what you need to do, but there are a lot of things not just everybody has access by default or professionals in this list can be switch around to other options and so on. I am currently waiting on the return from the government about this while they decide if I am accepted or not. Anyhow, I wanted to congratulate you guys, you went through this and you are so strong. This is a very intimidating process and quite invasive in various ways and needed me to reveal the truth to coworkers to have the needed papers and so on (They knew me under my real name, only few ppl know I'm FtM/my deadname at work).
Being cis I don't actually know the processes here in America, but I know it differs from state to state depending on how liberal the state is. I would imagine that some of the hyper-conservative southern American states are extremely difficult to be trans in.
Heidi Ah Sue in the uk it can be a 2-4 year wait to get an appointment with a psychologist who will sign off for u to get hormones and refer u to an endocrinologist (hormone doctor) and I have to be at least 17 to start this process otherwise u get sent to children’s services which do very very little for physical transition but with give u monthly (if ur lucky) counselling and for this it’s at least a 2 year wait
That's rough =\ Here in Washington State, USA, it's not too bad (there are hoops of course, but maybe slightly easier than this it sounds). There are some states though (like Utah) that flat out refuse to let you change your birth certificate no matter what. Like even if you moved to a good start (like Washington) they'll throw a fit about it. So I'm not gonna complain too much about WA's hoops I guess xP
Marq blows my mind how much things vary in the states I guess being from the uk I can’t rely grasp how big the country is but it just sucks how some shit you can just never change based on where u were born
Good luck with the gic! I filled out my form today with a dr to get my legal gender changed in Sweden and my god it’s a hell of a process, so I know how difficult it can be. Wishing you the best of luck!
I've been with my partner for five years but we can't get married because I'm nonbinary and there's no way for me to be legally recognised as my gender in the UK. It sucks big time so I feel you, and I'm sorry it's kept you and Shaaba waiting ❤︎
Oh that's a good point! Your videos are more evidence of how you have been male for soooooo long and everyone knows you as a guy and clearly it's serious - not just a weird phase or whatever they're worried about xP
@Gary Lee sorry I'm not interested in your hate, so I'm not reading it. Not sure why you care enough to want to change my opinion anyway, I'm not anyone to you /shrug/ maybe find something more constructive to do with your time that'll bring you joy and not drag you and others down into a self-made and unnecessary hell.
Gary Lee It’s sad that you have taken the opportunity to express your transphobia on my comment and I am considering deleting it to prevent any young trans folk from viewing your awful opinion
I just got married this May, I’ve had a grc for a couple of years. I remember it being a nightmare collecting everything and getting all the reports. It was worth it hearing husband and wife tho. It’s like you have finally made it if that makes sense! Hope it goes smoothly for you!
its very complicated here in northern ireland, as gay people cant marry here. Someone transitioning while married here would be dissolving their marriage. So there's that.
Until we passed marriage equality it was the same in Australia. I didn’t realise this until Jordan a member of the comedy band axis of awesome started her transition a few years ago and she mentioned it in an interview. Check out their song “the elephant in the room” it’s brilliant!
We have a move in place by uk government that if the parliament here is still absent in the next few months gay marriage will become legal... and it’s looking optimistic because they’re both terrible parties who are polar opposites lol. I am cis and straight so not directly affected but as an ally it’s about time we came out of the stone ages
Hi I've been watching your videos for about a year now and I finally got my name changed in school (Year10) today - not legally yet because my dads still not on board with it :( - after coming out over 2 years ago. And by summer next year I should have an appointment at the place which can give me hormone blockers and eventually testosterone :)
idk you but i wanted to let you know i'm really proud of you for sorting out your school stuff! and also for starting on gender clinic stuff, even though it's a long process!
Your videos have helped me understand more about transgender people, and also, to be more sensitive with my friends who are going trough this process. Thanks you!
I love you, lol and your lovely soft voice- I really hope you dont need to 'tick off all the little boxes' again anytime soon- but ngl I heard: "Tickle the little boxes" and chuckled. Thank you for that.
Definitely differs state to state in the US. I’m in Tennessee where I legally CANNOT change my gender on my birth certificate, but I was able to change it on my ID fortunately.
In Austria when I got my name and legal status changed, I just went into the next building and paid around roughly 70€ to get all my documents redone (so my birth certificate, my certificate of citizenship and my certificate of registration). It took a few days to get some of the documents and then I had to basically immediately go and reapply for my passport as the other had become nullified. All in all it was a pretty smooth and really quick process and you basically all get it done at the same time.
My first marriage was pre transitioning and it was a lot of fuss and a big party. I later learned a lot of things about myself and can now understand why I didn't feel so good and comfortable in my own wedding though I kept telling myself: "Everything is like it's supposed to be, you did everything right, you SHOULD enjoy this!" Second time I got married was during transitioning, the wedding was really small and mixed together with holiday on a downhill skiing resort. Getting married as a guy and not making a fuss about it made me able to actually enjoy it.
The shirt you’re wearing is almost the same as the one I bought today! The coincidence!! Amazing vids by the way, much much love from a trans guy from the Netherlands!!!
I really hope this works out for you. I've only just started watching your videos but you and your fiancee seem like lovely people who deserve to be happy.
What a mission! I'm in the USA (cisgender female) and I'm complaining about getting my documents because I need to renew my driver's license in less than 2 weeks and need to provide proof of my birth certificate (creased, folded, falling apart) so I can get a REAL ID version of a driver's license so I can fly if I need to in future. (I stupidly let my passport expire so I need to do that again but there's no rush on that.) Good Luck and blessings for approval! There shouldn't be any valid reason they would deny you.
We have the same shirt from H&M pride range. I also got the black rainbow chest one. And I'm going through this process too, haven't sent mine away yet, Good luck! It's a really positive step to make towards getting married and recognised as yourself.
I keep my fingers crossed for you! I will all be allright! You are such a positive person. Good things should happen to good people. I hope it will be in your case. Much love to you and your fiance!
Oh man, that's messed up. My (trans) husband and I got married last year in California with no issues. Best wishes for everything to go smoothly for you!
In New Zealand the celebrant only needs to say partner as the legal words. In the "Do you [name], take ...", the words "this man/woman" are more usually changed to "Do you [name], take [name]...". Instead of "I now declare you husband and wife" cam be changed for the equally legal "I now declare you partners". Hopefully mooted changes will take place soon that will make it even easier in the future.
I like seeing how the different countries have different procedures and paperwork for each hoops you have to jump through for getting married. I would love to see the comparisons between countries about how difficult it is to get marriage licenses through the court/government systems, maybe a new thing to research?
I live in Florida, and the most costly part of the legal process is a name change (around $450). You need a letter from a medical provider (which you may have to pay for) to change the gender on your driver's license, birth certificate, and passport, but apart from the passport, which I don't know the cost to change, it's around $20-$30 each to change your driver's license and your birth certificate. (I would ordinarily be more specific, but my list of this information is at work, which is currently closed due to Hurricane Dorian). If you do the gender change and name change separately on your driver's license, you pay that fee twice, but if you change them together, it only has to be paid once. Florida does not have a third gender option for non-binary people, and neither does the U.S. federal government, though there are some parts of the U.S. with that option. Florida does not require surgery for a gender marker change on a driver's license or state ID card, just as the federal government does not require it for a passport change, just a letter that shows the person is undergoing appropriate clinical treatment for gender dysphoria. This could include therapy.
Hi BC! Would you mind answering a couple of questions? My child is trans but so far has done nothing. We're in WI and I've yet to find a trans therapist. Not for lack of trying anywhere in our area. Anyway as soon as he graduates high school we're out of here! Senior year! Yay! We're moving to a more trans friendly area (and also for him to go to school) FL is on our list (along with NY and CA) I won't ask where in FL you are (for obvious reasons) but is it difficult to find a therapist or doctor specializing in Trans? If so (or not) is this state wide or just your area? Or don't you know? I'm aware the Orlando area is somewhat LGBTQ+ friendly but don't know about other areas. Any help you could throw my way would be GREATLY appreciated! Mom to a beautiful child. Ahem. Almost adult.
Victoria, Australia has just changed the law about changing birth certificate gender - that used to be limited to post-surgery trans, now it's much easier.
I totally relate to not wanting to go through the invasiveness and stress, even if you want the outcome. To change the gender on my Hong Kong ID card, I had to strip off in front of a doctor so he would write a letter confirming I did indeed have bottom surgery (literal requirement "the formation of a penis, or some form of penis" wtf??), and it was mortifying. I'm glad I did it, as I was constantly scared of leaving the country as my passport (Australian) was male, and my ID was female, and I'd been temporarily detained due to them not matching in the past. It sucked, but was worth it in the end, just as it will be for you too. I'm sure the feeling of being married as who you are will be amazing, I'm chuffed for you!
What a pain! Clearly, just by looking at you, you have been transitioning for a long time. You have obviously been on T a long time. Jamie, when I look at you or listen to you, all I see is a sweet, lovely young man. 💙 Fingers crossed, darlin, that all goes well and it's accepted no problem! Much Love to you and the beautiful Shaaba from Ontario, Canada 🍁...Keli
In Czech Republic, in order to change your gender marker and "birth number" (apparently it is not a thing in other countries? It is a number you are given and consists of your birth date, a number distinguishing your birth sex (?!) and a random number) you have to get a hysterectomy as a trans man (orchiectomy for transfeminine folk). Basically forced sterilisation is still a thing here. On top of that, we still do not have marriage equality. We have "registered partnership" for same-sex couples, but legally it means almost nothing, especially if you want children. So it is not only a question of being adressed correctly, but also of law...
Holy cow, so much more paperwork and inconvenience just for being trans. There's already so much to do getting married, I totally get your frustration at this kind of scrutiny and hoops being thrown in. Love & support to you two lovebirds!
Hubby and I got married my husband is trans, pre everything. They never fussed about it. The registrar said husband and wife and had no bother at all. I understand the birth certificate is an issue but we just egnored it and had zero issue. Also there's no disclosure or title on the marriage certificate. So yeah in a legal standpoint technically he's married in his birth gender however it's been zero issue, they used his birth certificate with his full changed name. - we got married in Scotland. Oh a note. You can change your name in your birth certificate without going through stat Dec, in Scotland you do it through the births and deaths records. In England you go through deed poll. You only need GRC for fem/male box on the birth certificate. Oh and an awesome tidbit you can get married in Scotland no matter where you are from as long as you apply with 28dahs clear of the wedding date, with all documents presented. Our registrar mentioned she had people come to Scotland just to have their wedding, they put in their application, then simply appeared on the day. Unlike England where you need to live in the area for a minimum of 9weeks or some such (meant I ended up getting married two days earlier than planned , but hey can't deny. Getting married with a month's notice was kind of fun).
Oh my god! I knew that the GRA was flawed but I had no idea that the process for getting a GRC was so ridiculously invasive.. I'm from Germany and am definitely curious now to find out if we have sth similar to this..
We have, here you can't even decide who will testify that you are really trans, the court will send you to two different people (mostly psychotherapists or psychiatrists) who must testify this indepentent from each other. The only plus is that all our documents depend on the birth certificate here (thats why germany has a so called Ergänzungsausweis for trans folk), so we only have to do it once and not in multiple steps like jamie.
I’m getting married (next week) as a non-binary person and the whole process has been very emotional to navigate for very similar reasons. Because my state doesn’t recognize NB people and only a few years ago legalized “same sex” marriage I’ve basically had to fit into many boxes that aren’t right. All of these are things I never thought about until I proposed and started the marriage process. With you in solidarity and hopeful your government will allow you to be married as you are 💚
So, where I'm from in America, it costs $170 to initiate a NAME CHANGE, and then from there you have to have a court hearing with court costs and the judge can still tell you after hundreds of dollars spent that your reasons aren't valid and you aren't going to get your name legally changed. And then even if you do get your name changed, there's a bunch of stuff you have to pay even more money to get updated and it's just crazy expensive.
The thing that really irks me about this is that as a cisgender person I won't have to provide evidence of my gender when I get married, simply because the reproductive organs I was born with match my gender identity?! It seems like such an outdated and inane process. 2004 was 15 years ago and we've come so far in that time with regards to equality that they really need to get a move on with updating the legislation. Anyway, I'm sorry that you have to go through all this faff and intrusion, and that this is even something you've had to consider. Good luck with the application - it had better be approved!
For my husband and I(He is an Ftm transgender person)we got married when he had only been on T and had not had surgeries and it is a requirement that you have at least top surgery in Alabama and Arkansas, USA to change your sex on your birth certificate and only then can you change it on your license and whatnot. Our marriage license doesn't use the term wife but it does have us both marked as female and so after he has top surgery we will have to travel to Arkansas to apply for his birth certificate gender marker to be changed. After that is approved we can change everything else but because we had a friend officiate our wedding, she of course used the appropriate terminology for what we are which is husband and wife.
Fingers crossed that it goes well for you and you get the legal crap done in time! It's similar here, in Canada; generally, you have to get a certificate that acknowledges you legally changing your sex, which I think the only requirement for that is to have been on hormones for at least year? And your prescribing doctor has to sign off on it or something. Usual hoops. Pretty much exactly the same as you, I just hadn't bothered with it until the prospect of being married as a woman was looming over my head. It all went pretty well getting the certificate. I sent it in about 8 months before our date or something along those lines, got the certificate a few months later, along with my corrected birth certificate. The problem: the only way you can get ID with the right gender on it in Canada is with a corrected birth certificate and the gender certificate thing. So from there, I had to get my ID updated. A birth certificate alone isn't enough to get a marriage certificate; I needed a piece of photo ID too. So, the thing is, I get it. Legally, with Identity fraud and all that, these sorts of hoops do make sense. It would just be nice if - since Trans people do make up a non-insignificant portion of the population, and so this kind of situation shouldn't really be that all abnormal - government organizations like... trained their people on the notion that we, in fact, do exist. Long story short, the ID people got confused, thought I was actually twins, one with my name and gender and another with my birth name and gender (extra weird because I'd changed my name close to 2 years before). This screwed up my Credit (and student loans), and it took a conference call with 2 different government organizations for me to get my photo ID. And 3 months of faxing the credit company, because thats the only way they communicate I got my ID. 5 months after our 'wedding'. We'd never planned big wedding at all, even from the start: we were always planning to get married at city hall then have a friends and family get together afterwards. So. We had the shindig on the day it was planned, didn't tell anyone except the most involved members of the wedding party (because it would have been a shit show), then got actually married 5 months later when my ID showed up. The city hall worker that took our details when we got our marriage license was pretty confused when I looked at my for-all-intents-and-purposes-but-not-legally-at-the-time-wife while filling out the form and went "so, what day should we finally do this thing?"
I'm actually looking to get married in April next year. I'm a trans guy living in New Zealand and this particular detail has crossed my mind before but It does feel like a better process to get married here. Right now I'm only just getting into legally changing my name and still trying to get on hormones so I am very much at the beginning of this roller coaster ride, but my partner and I want to get married for Visa reasons. My fiancee being from America. At the moment I'm kinda just hanging my hopes on the idea I can change the marriage certificate later if I do have to be written down as a woman. They informed me you could change your name on the certificate after marriage so I'll be absolutely guttered if you can't do the same for your sex. In the form you can put yourself down as a partner instead of a husband or wife so that's what I ended up putting myself down as. I don't really know how to look into these small details cause New Zealand is terrible for accessible information. If you got any advise for me I'd love to hear it, if not that's okay too haha. This is halfly to share my store in this little corner of the world. Keep making great videos mate they are always really thought provoking and serious topics made fun.
Thanks for making this video, I would like to get married in the future and as a trans guy I was worried about the whole gender recognition certificate. How did you start this process, where did you get the forms to fill out from? Thanks for going through your process and I hope it all works out well for you and good luck with the wedding.
Living in 'Murica changing your birth certificate can be one last steps you have to do. Once you have all the paper work saying you aren't crazy and it is legally okay to change name/gender marker. You have to change it for insurance, banking, SSN(social social security card)..depends on where you were born you may need bottom surgery/a surgery to even be considered. I am lucky, I was born in California, they have open laws. They aslo are open to non binary ppl! So I need to mail it out with under 23 bucks and should be accepted because I have legally change my name and gender marker on my important IDs. It is crazy to have UK be so open to helping ppl change for you to have to pay so you can get married as the person you are.
in washington state (US), you don’t really have to pay for changing the official certifications, but you have to pay for the new documents ($20 for a birth certificate and whatever a drivers license costs for that). minors can change their gender and name with a parents permission and with a mental health evaluation, but adults don’t need one. i don’t think people with cognitive disabilities are allowed to do this, though, which is bullshit. you can also get your gender changed to X on all legal documents. so it seems to definitely be easier here than in the UK, but i think these things could always be streamlined more
Yeah me and my spouse are lesbian married technically. As far as the ceremony, we did the legal one quickly off to the side with a commissioner of oaths. Then we did our actual ceremony in front of all our family and friends.
In Brazil the first document that you change is your birth certificate. Our documents still have written the word "sex" instead of "gender", so I had my sex legally changed, instead of my gender, what felt a bit odd... but it was done. So from my birth certificate I went through a long and boring process of changing all my other legal stuff. Here males are obliged to apply to the army, so I did that too. Not everyone who applies is called to actually work as a soldier, most people just get a certificate that you applied and that the army had too many applications and didn't need you, that was my case, so I would just be called in case of a very big war). So I would be married as a male sex person. I know that for people who were already married as same sex relationships have to change their marry certificate and can't apply to several jobs till they have it changed, because in Brazil after you get married you need to always have married certificate in legal situations, because most names changes when people get married and then new and old names will be written there.
Hey Jamie, sorry you are experiencing that. I live in Texas and surprisingly it wasn’t that hard. I legally changed my name back in 2007 and all that was, was me going to the local court house standing in front of a judge and saying that I was not changing my name to avoid debt or something. Then I recently had top surgery and the doctor wrote a letter which I took back to the court hose and filed a form to change my gender, stood in front of a judge again and they signed it. Then went and changed my B/C and Drivers License/Voter Registration the same day...last thing I did was go to the SSA and that was annoying only because they are so slow. Overall I can’t complain with the process, everywhere I went everyone was super nice and helpful. Although I do live in the hippest (flower power) city in Texas...so yeah.
Best of luck! I'm sure it will all work out and you guys are going to have a beautiful wedding! Sending positive thoughts you way! You are an inspiration!
It's interesting to hear this because a doctor told me that sex and gender are never mentioned when you get married, in a legal sense. He said you don't need a GRC. But I was sceptical of that. You seem convinced it matters. I guess one problem is that the process is somewhat opaque and you don't necessarily know until you are standing in front of an official who is in charge of approving your marriage etc. It makes sense to get the GRC to make sure it doesn't happen.
Also, idk about where you live, but I know in a lot of US states, they won't let you change your name or gender marker for trans reasons until you've been on hormones for a year and have some form of surgery. The only thing is that they don't require it be bottom surgery which is nice. But you can at least start your medical transition if that's something you want, that way when you move out, you wont have to wait to get legal stuff changed
In my view your mum disagrees because she loves you. To love is not to say "yes" to everything to make the other person feel good. To love is to be compassionate but to tell the truth because the truth liberates. Lies sometimes make you feel good but they trap you as well. In the fairy tale "Snow White" I am sure that Snow White 's step mother (who felt threatened by Snow White 's growing up and by her potential ) would have felt delighted if Snow White had decided to transition into a man, to take hormones, to have her breasts cut, etc ... Snow White 's real mum (who is dead in the fairy tale), unlike the wicked and narcissistic stepmother, would have liked to see her daughter growing up. She would not have minded if her daughter had become better than her, more beautiful, more independent. She would have been pleased for her daughter. The difficulties that we face are often linked to the fear of growing up. Trauma disconnects from the self. You didn't mention your dad. Is he absent ????
Thumbs up because if you thumbs down it speaks badly for his video. It really sucks that it a complicated process but that's just kinda how it is for trans people. I have faith that it will go fine for him :)
I'm not watching this because I am going through the same thing, but learning about the difficulties that transgender people face. I think as a society in the UK, we have become more accepting, but more should be put in place for processes such as this to run more smoothly 💕
I know here in the UK you get a deed poll to change your name and title, so you don't need to change your birth certificate to do that. In Brazil the only way to get your name change is to get a new birth certificate issues. Thankfully like last year they changed how you get this done and its a bit easier - you now just need to gather a bunch of documents (and pay a lot for them) and go to a courthouse and submit the request. Before you had to appear in front of a judge and everything. The only requirement is that you have to be at least 18 years old. And its supposed to take only 15-20 days once you apply (mine took 6 months to get done though).
I am not trans but I have trans friends. I love your videos, I learn so much and you are just so much fun to watch. It’s so sad that you have to jump through so many hoops just to get married. I really hope everything is approved. You two are the cutest couple!
The name changing process in the US seems really similar, but it’s a lot longer. I’m currently going through it to get married as well! I’m in Michigan, United States. First you file a petition to change your name, which you send to the main court in your state. I finished my petition a while ago, but I can’t afford to send it. They have a waiver you can file, and I’m stuck in that process right now. If they approve your petition, you set a court hearing and represent yourself in court. The name change gets posted to a local paper for a few weeks, and if no one disputes the choice you’re free to go get your birth certificate changed. It’s very VERY expensive here, and there are a lot of opportunities for you to get denied. After that you need to get things like social security, a new driver’s license, etc.
Elias Klein It definitely feels like it lol! It’s in case anyone with the same name wants to debate the choice, or if someone thinks it’s for fraudulent reasons. But for ppl like me who are escaping bad situations, posting it loud and clear in the newspaper can be dangerous!!
Ooh, I'm watching this in 2020, and my heart just dropped when he talked about getting married 'next year'
same here!
I feel so bad, I hope that in the UK at least things will still be clear enough that they can still have a nice wedding
OH SAME! I saw it on my recommended and thought it was a new video! XD
i know its so sad- those two deserve everything. if i could i would go to london and throw them a wedding for them :((
Same
Same.
I live in the US, and when you get divorced here, you have to go to court in a group setting. So they have a big room where multiple people get their cases heard one after another, in front of another. When I was waiting to see the judge to get my divorce finalized, there was a trans guy who went ahead of me to get his name legally changed. They read his birth name and birth sex in front of literally everyone in the room. I could see the shame in his face. I felt horrible for him in that moment. The one redeeming moment was when they granted his legal name change to his chosen name, and I got to see how excited it made him. Thankfully, they don’t embarrass people who need to be their true selves all over the world in front of a crowd of people.
Cassidy F. That’s awful!
Jade Chew right??
Cassidy F. America still has a long way to go when it comes to transgender rights and sensitivity.
It’s the worst! And there’s all kinds of folks in the room so it’s extra super uncomfortable. I’m just glad that we don’t have to do newspaper announcements in California anymore
@@1t1rockin Newspaper announcement?
I came out to my mom as FtM transgender and she accepts me! I'm getting a gender therapist some time in October.
Congratulations! ^^
Congrats dude
Congrats bro you're really lucky, I too came out to my mum this year she was shocked at first and then she was like you do whatever you feel is right for you but first build a career for yourself self because society is judgemental and I don't want you to suffer plus i have a really conservative and large family so i guess i still have to live in my closet for few years ( But she said she is always there for me ((Moms are the best)))
Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you!
Thank you everyone!
Before same-sex marriage was legal in Australia, there was a lesbian married couple on the news and they were legally married. They were able to do this because one of them is transgender and hadn't changed her gender on her birth certificate. But as of 3 years ago, they can be legally married as wives. Also, my great uncle was supposed to get married this year for his and his partner's 30th anniversary because they waited that long for gay marriage to be legalised. Why does homophobia and transphobia exist? We're people, treat us that way.
In Poland you have to sue your parents - yes - sue - like a civil case in actual court to undermine validity of your birth certificate. Only then you can legally change your name. So you can only imagine how long, painful and difficult this process can be for all parties interested - especially if parents disagree. People just have to be really determined to actually go through with it.
what the fuck that’s bs
@Super Greyflash welcome to Poland
Wait what? haha that sounds so complicated, people shouldn’t have to do all that
@Super Greyflash then you have a problem. Poland is not most citizen friendly country in the world-esp.if you are woman, disabled or LGBT+. Look up in the media what's going on with violating human rights by it's current government
another reason why i hate living in poland :)
Why the heck should sex even show up in the marriage ceremony/certificate and such these days? Spouse 1/Spouse 2 works so much better.
That's what I was wondering...why is a gender even needed on the certificate and why does it need to be said at the ceremony? Yes, Spouse 1/Spouse 2 works fine. In fact, I don't understand why there needs to be gender listed in most places...but that's a whole other Oprah!
David Feuer He mentioned that it was probably a fraud thing; in other words they don’t want someone marrying a person and not knowing that their gender identity and their birth gender aren’t the same (which would be grounds for an annulment in most countries).
@@amycpollock that sounds totally bogus to me.
David Feuer I don’t disagree that it might be a bogus reason but people do get married without telling their prospective spouse all sorts of things, like knowing they can’t have kids, having children from a previous relationship, having been married before, etc., etc, etc. Any of those major things could be the reason behind asking the courts for an annulment and thus would be a drain on the government.
We got the GRC process before same-sex marriage in the UK (so trans people had to get a GRC to get married at all at the time). When we got same-sex marriage, instead of just saying "any two people can marry" like a normal country, we have two different sets of rules, one for different-sex marriage and the other for same-sex marriage, so you have to specify which one you want. It's deeply stupid, and the marriage is (in law) almost the same anyway (there are some really minor exceptions - you can get a different-sex marriage annulled for non-consummation and you can't for a same-sex marriage because no-one wanted to define anything other than PIV as sex in law, and there are some pensions differences if one or both of you was born in 1958 or earlier), but there were a bunch of transphobic legislators who insisted on it.
There is also a stupid rule that if you transition after getting married, you have to get your spouse's consent to do so, because your GRC changes your marriage certificate from same-sex to different-sex (or vice versa) as well as changing your birth certificate. This means that some trans people have had to get a divorce because their spouse was very hostile to them transitioning - and the divorce can take many years if your partner is hostile and determined not to let you.
I love how your eyes light up when you talk about Shaaba. I can tell you love her very much.
Fawny Deer is Shaba male or female?
@@brothertn708 Female
The “person who marries you” or the person who “officiates” your wedding, is the “officiant” (that is the generic term).
Thanks, I was telling him that as I watched, but of course he didn't hear me.
Also "marriage celebrant"
Yeah, I’d forgotten that one.
marriage-of-you-with-someone-doer-person
Or celebrant (aus)
I do hope you get this comment! As soon as I learned this fact, I thought, "I wonder if Jamie knows that?"
Anyway, I recently learned that the American Sign Language sign for "trans" incorporates the signs for "beautiful", "myself", and "becoming".
Isn't that wonderful? I think it's the most beautifully appropriate thing I've ever seen.
Niles DiMarco and Chella Man have a UA-cam video teaching Queer ASL signs, if anyone is interested.
@@randomperson1934 I might be a bit of an idiot, but what do you mean by that? Is it 'cause Jamie is British? I think that most of the signs in ASL and BSL are either similar or the same, and I've looked up the sign for transgender in both and they look pretty much identical.
@@randomperson1934 Even though it's asl, it's still a cool fact- is it not?
@@randomperson1934 lmao rip
My partner and I are both ftm and I propose to him last December but we decide to only get married when both of us have fully socially transitioned (the most important ofc being getting our GRC). It's a bit of a bummer to not be able to marry him right away but I'm so happy that he said yes that if I had to, I would wait a hundred years to marry him :)
UPDATE: First of all, thank you so much for all the support! I just wanted to update you a little about our situation: at the beginning of the year, my partner and I decided to remain friends, we both realized that a romantic label wasn't suitable for both our relationship and identities (my bestfriend is aro ace and being in a romantic relationship was really messing with is own vision of himself). It may seem a bit strange but we really are totally okay as being just the bestest friends ever. We had always been more in a queerplatonic type of relationship than anything, we've never really fit in within the "traditional" friend or lover label, so it was more of a trial and error just to find the right label for our relationship... But now that we've experienced both, that we talked about how it made us feel etc, labeling as friends is really what makes us both feel the most comfortable and happy.
Anyway, again, I really want to thank all of you for the support you provided us without even knowing us! It was really heartwarming to experience!
osblablacar how cuteeeee, I wish you and him all the best ❤️❤️❤️
Oh by the way, Army💜 ;) hehehehe
@@robinbirb06-79 oh thank you, that's very sweet of you 💜 (and yeeeaaaaaah armyyyyyy 💜😘)
@@osblablacar haha don't mention it :)))
Gary Lee your opinions are not scientific fact, pal. the only person living in a fairy tale world is you.
I think marriage needs a reform. It should be an editable contract to suit the religious and non-religious needs of the joining couple. Government should only need enough info for taxes and to perform a fair divorce in the case a marriage ends. Because honestly- gender doesn't affect the government _that much_, the only issue I can think of involves jail and how to separate people.
(Of course the one thing I hate about the whole jail/prison argument is rape shouldn't be "allowed" or "expected" just coz you're a criminal. It should be safe for a trans person to be integrated with cis people for both parties.)
Oooh rainbow on shirt has been spotted
Taylor k it's from H&M
thats because real men support gay rights and the LGBT community.
Bluetrainer91 FireBlast he’s literally in the LGBT community
@@whitenoise3447
OMFG you don't say?! I would of never of guess that.
@@whitenoise3447 yeah I know that🤦♀️ I said it as in, "I like the shirt"
I'm Canadian... Changing your gender marker (including to X in a lot of provinces) on all of your documents, including birth certificate, is easier than changing your name tbh.
UK catch up to your kid!
Fingers and toes crossed that things go smoothly and quickly! 🤞
This didn’t age well
crossing fingers for a smooth and quick certificate obtaining!
Omg, this made me realize what *should've* been a giant "I'm trans" flag I should've noticed. When my spouse and I were filling out the online application for the marriage certificate, there was an option to put what you wanted to be listed as on the certificate (husband/wife/spouse). We just put the ones that correspond to our birth sexes bc, well... for starters, neither of us are out, but also I wasn't even out to *myself* yet then. Still, I remember feeling so, so, *so* horribly uncomfortable, with the word "wife" ringing around in my head and making me want to cringe.
Tried the whole "wife" thing for a few months, had a mental breakdown and a revelation, and yeah. Maybe someday I'll/we'll be in a place where we can change the certificate; I guess we'll have to wait and see. Plus Idk exactly how the law goes in the US, so that's worth looking into.
(Also, your shirt is rad! I could say that on like every video but still. Also, if it does get rejected--which it won't--an army of us will kick up a fuss along with you, lol)
imagine looking at jamie getting married and writing “she” down. just imagine.
No.
I can't imagine it. At all.
Thanks, I hate it. From the depths of my soul.
"then this wedding would turn into a very expensive party"
...
So just a regular wedding?
definitely thought you said "tickle these boxes", then i realize i'm just tired lol
No... I thought that too... I just realized that's not *quite* what he said untili read your post 😅
I thought so too XD but I'm violently sleep deprived so idk if it helps our case there.
@@boocrimson7720 Well..and i read sheep deprived.
I also heard that. 😂
Me too! I'm totally going to use that expression from now on as well :)
Just saw my HRT doctor for the first time last night! I'm starting T in a month!!!!!
I don’t blame you for wanting to wait! Unfortunately, my husband and I got married when he had his old name. He was only out as trans to a handful of people at that time. We kept our wedding ceremony pretty free of gendered languages. We live in the US. Hopefully, he can get his birth certificate updated so we can also get our marriage certificate updated.
I'm non-binary and in British Columbia, Canada. I only have gone through name change stuff (which still took at least 2 years to get every document advised about the change ect), did fingerprints and they destroyed my birth certificate to get my name updated and send out a new certificate. I also had to get one paper notarized during the process. I'm very grateful that locally in my city, there's a trans health clinic with a trans lawyer who will notarize paperwork for free if it's gender/name related. Another centre in my city has a program and funding to help lower-income trans/non-binary people with the process and pay some of the costs associated with name change/gender marker paperwork, including the cost of a new birth certificate, health card and other ID that's involved.
dw there literally is no practical reason I can see it getting rejected.
but if they did you'd have all of us behind you and we'd also be happy to kick up a fuss.
I mean this in he absolutely best way possible. Jamie looks like he was created by nick park
I live in Canada and got married in 2018, I'm non binary and hadn't changed my name at that point. There was no requirement to say certain things at the ceremony. Our officiant was informed way in advance on the language we would prefer in the ceremony and she was very accommodating. She even sent us a script with gender neutral language before hand so we knew exactly what she was going to say. I'm really sorry that it's not the same way in the UK. I hope your approved and all your wedding plans don't stress you out too much.
This is quite a timely video as the state of Tasmania in Australia starts new legislation today regarding gender and birth certificates. It’s groundbreaking. Literally you can just choose to change your gender on the certificate now. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on this in a video! I can point you towards articles on this if you’re interested!
That's so good to hear! I'm from Sydney but I haven't been following any politics lately
I think it's similar in many Canadian provinces and territories. I was born in the Yukon so when I'll change my gender marker I'll just have to pay the fee to change information on it and wait
Did you and Shaaba ever consider getting married in Denmark? Since the UK is still part of the EU, they would still have to accept the marriage, and on the paperwork in Denmark they just ask Spouse #1 and Spouse #2. Just curious (:
(I know this because my Husband and I got married there - neither of us are Danish, but since we're an international couple, it was the best options for us)
callmecrashy omggg Denmarkkkk Sksk
I’m danish lol. And great idea
still part of the EU until the end of the month lol
@@kattttt9585 and now you're wrong lol
The caption reads Tastebuds when you say ‘hey spuds.’ xD
Cuz we're all tasty spuds :]
It definitely differs state-by-state in the US. I live and was born in California, so when I first got my name and gender fixed, I was easily able to get everything all in one go. I got the court order, turned it into the Social Security office first, then once that change went through, I turned it in to the DMV, so they could change it on my license. Then, once I had both of those, I could get my birth certificate fixed, which certain states don't allow (CA does, tho). Now that all of that was fixed, I had to do that for my passport, because the passport goes off of your birth certificate information. I'm getting married in 2021, and now we have to have my fiance go through his name change so that I don't have to pay for a second name change when we get married, since we're combining our last names.
This comment was such a breath of fresh air for me. I was born in San Diego but I've lived in Delaware my whole life. It hadn't occurred to me until watching this video that it may be something I need to do, but hearing that CA will let me change it makes me feel so much better 😅
lovemusicbandchorus hey! Also from San Diego here and I’ve also gotten my legal stuff all changed. It is pretty easy but the bummer is the waiting period for the court order (3 months) & the fact that it costs over $500 all things considered (not including passport).
Edit: I misremembered how long it took to get the court order
@@puppylovergirl303 Yeah, I live in Los Angeles, and had to wait 3 months for my court order. @_@
@@puppylovergirl303 If you aren't born in CA (but were born in the US) can you get it changed there? Or do you have to go through your birth state?
I think everyone is excited about you and Shaaba. Your couple videos were the reason I had entered this channel, and hearing more information of the community has kept me here
((Your big help for my knowledge and my friends' transitionings))
I wish you guys well, Jamie!!!
oh! Yuck! YES YES YES...change it! I'm in Canada and I changed my birth certificate "sex designation" when I changed my name.
Where I live (Belgium) the process is really easy, since 2018 there is a new 'law" about legally changing your gender on your ID and birth certificate. So basically I had to fill in a form that states I am sure that I identify as that gender and all that stuff (templates of this were easy to find) and then both me and my mom had to sign it (since I'm under 18). I had to hand it in in the city hall and then 3 months later had to come back to sign again and state I'm still sure and then just about 3 weeks later everything was changed. I'm really glad it's that simple around here :)
that’s so cool you could do it as a minor!!
my partner is literally trans and I haven't even thought about this wow ! Thank you for informing me !
So informational. Thanks for being so open and sharing your personal story! If you have time, stop by my channel. I love to meet other UA-camrs!
I am watching this now and am an FtM from Canada. The description of the process you are talking about it the same we need to do to just have our name changed legally. To be able to give your name in anything official. Changing your name requires to have your birth certificate changed by default. Also the mention of the gender (so it won't be Miss Andrew and so on). Although I am happy it is possible to do, the steps for us here are quite ... nebulous. You get a list of what you need to do, but there are a lot of things not just everybody has access by default or professionals in this list can be switch around to other options and so on. I am currently waiting on the return from the government about this while they decide if I am accepted or not. Anyhow, I wanted to congratulate you guys, you went through this and you are so strong. This is a very intimidating process and quite invasive in various ways and needed me to reveal the truth to coworkers to have the needed papers and so on (They knew me under my real name, only few ppl know I'm FtM/my deadname at work).
Being trans in the uk is so fiddley and it takes so much time to do literally anything
Being cis I don't actually know the processes here in America, but I know it differs from state to state depending on how liberal the state is. I would imagine that some of the hyper-conservative southern American states are extremely difficult to be trans in.
Heidi Ah Sue in the uk it can be a 2-4 year wait to get an appointment with a psychologist who will sign off for u to get hormones and refer u to an endocrinologist (hormone doctor) and I have to be at least 17 to start this process otherwise u get sent to children’s services which do very very little for physical transition but with give u monthly (if ur lucky) counselling and for this it’s at least a 2 year wait
That's rough =\ Here in Washington State, USA, it's not too bad (there are hoops of course, but maybe slightly easier than this it sounds). There are some states though (like Utah) that flat out refuse to let you change your birth certificate no matter what. Like even if you moved to a good start (like Washington) they'll throw a fit about it. So I'm not gonna complain too much about WA's hoops I guess xP
Marq blows my mind how much things vary in the states I guess being from the uk I can’t rely grasp how big the country is but it just sucks how some shit you can just never change based on where u were born
Good luck with the gic! I filled out my form today with a dr to get my legal gender changed in Sweden and my god it’s a hell of a process, so I know how difficult it can be. Wishing you the best of luck!
Me- :(
Jamie- hey spuds!
Me- :')
I feel very annoyed/angry for you that you (and others) have to go through this. It is ridiculous.
I've been with my partner for five years but we can't get married because I'm nonbinary and there's no way for me to be legally recognised as my gender in the UK. It sucks big time so I feel you, and I'm sorry it's kept you and Shaaba waiting ❤︎
Can/did you use your channel as evidence? This stuff is concrete!
Oh that's a good point! Your videos are more evidence of how you have been male for soooooo long and everyone knows you as a guy and clearly it's serious - not just a weird phase or whatever they're worried about xP
@Gary Lee sorry I'm not interested in your hate, so I'm not reading it. Not sure why you care enough to want to change my opinion anyway, I'm not anyone to you /shrug/ maybe find something more constructive to do with your time that'll bring you joy and not drag you and others down into a self-made and unnecessary hell.
@Gary Lee Psychopaths*
Gary Lee you sound worse than a PragerU video
Gary Lee It’s sad that you have taken the opportunity to express your transphobia on my comment and I am considering deleting it to prevent any young trans folk from viewing your awful opinion
I just got married this May, I’ve had a grc for a couple of years. I remember it being a nightmare collecting everything and getting all the reports. It was worth it hearing husband and wife tho. It’s like you have finally made it if that makes sense! Hope it goes smoothly for you!
its very complicated here in northern ireland, as gay people cant marry here. Someone transitioning while married here would be dissolving their marriage. So there's that.
Damn I never knew that
Oh geez ouchhh
Until we passed marriage equality it was the same in Australia. I didn’t realise this until Jordan a member of the comedy band axis of awesome started her transition a few years ago and she mentioned it in an interview. Check out their song “the elephant in the room” it’s brilliant!
We have a move in place by uk government that if the parliament here is still absent in the next few months gay marriage will become legal... and it’s looking optimistic because they’re both terrible parties who are polar opposites lol. I am cis and straight so not directly affected but as an ally it’s about time we came out of the stone ages
same here in Poland. you gotta get a divorce if you wanna transition.
You should send links to all your videos! It documents everything. We (your viewers) will happily stand up for you. This is our man Jammi!
Hi I've been watching your videos for about a year now and I finally got my name changed in school (Year10) today - not legally yet because my dads still not on board with it :( - after coming out over 2 years ago. And by summer next year I should have an appointment at the place which can give me hormone blockers and eventually testosterone :)
idk you but i wanted to let you know i'm really proud of you for sorting out your school stuff! and also for starting on gender clinic stuff, even though it's a long process!
Your videos have helped me understand more about transgender people, and also, to be more sensitive with my friends who are going trough this process. Thanks you!
I love you, lol and your lovely soft voice- I really hope you dont need to 'tick off all the little boxes' again anytime soon- but ngl I heard: "Tickle the little boxes" and chuckled. Thank you for that.
Good luck Jamie. Hope it goes through smoothly.
Definitely differs state to state in the US. I’m in Tennessee where I legally CANNOT change my gender on my birth certificate, but I was able to change it on my ID fortunately.
Changing your legal documents in America is very arduous as well. I'm about to start the process on Tuesday. My heart goes out to you, Jamie :
In Austria when I got my name and legal status changed, I just went into the next building and paid around roughly 70€ to get all my documents redone (so my birth certificate, my certificate of citizenship and my certificate of registration). It took a few days to get some of the documents and then I had to basically immediately go and reapply for my passport as the other had become nullified. All in all it was a pretty smooth and really quick process and you basically all get it done at the same time.
My first marriage was pre transitioning and it was a lot of fuss and a big party. I later learned a lot of things about myself and can now understand why I didn't feel so good and comfortable in my own wedding though I kept telling myself:
"Everything is like it's supposed to be, you did everything right, you SHOULD enjoy this!"
Second time I got married was during transitioning, the wedding was really small and mixed together with holiday on a downhill skiing resort. Getting married as a guy and not making a fuss about it made me able to actually enjoy it.
Good luck, Jammi! I'll keep you in my prayers this Sabbath. ❤
The shirt you’re wearing is almost the same as the one I bought today! The coincidence!! Amazing vids by the way, much much love from a trans guy from the Netherlands!!!
Where did you get it? I like it, too.
Leslie Lanagan I got mine at H&M!
That's cool! And I'm from the Netherlands too!
I really hope this works out for you. I've only just started watching your videos but you and your fiancee seem like lovely people who deserve to be happy.
What a mission!
I'm in the USA (cisgender female) and I'm complaining about getting my documents because I need to renew my driver's license in less than 2 weeks and need to provide proof of my birth certificate (creased, folded, falling apart) so I can get a REAL ID version of a driver's license so I can fly if I need to in future. (I stupidly let my passport expire so I need to do that again but there's no rush on that.)
Good Luck and blessings for approval! There shouldn't be any valid reason they would deny you.
We have the same shirt from H&M pride range. I also got the black rainbow chest one. And I'm going through this process too, haven't sent mine away yet, Good luck! It's a really positive step to make towards getting married and recognised as yourself.
Good luck Jamie. I wish you guys a long and happy life together.
I keep my fingers crossed for you! I will all be allright! You are such a positive person. Good things should happen to good people. I hope it will be in your case. Much love to you and your fiance!
Oh man, that's messed up. My (trans) husband and I got married last year in California with no issues. Best wishes for everything to go smoothly for you!
In New Zealand the celebrant only needs to say partner as the legal words. In the "Do you [name], take ...", the words "this man/woman" are more usually changed to "Do you [name], take [name]...". Instead of "I now declare you husband and wife" cam be changed for the equally legal "I now declare you partners". Hopefully mooted changes will take place soon that will make it even easier in the future.
I like seeing how the different countries have different procedures and paperwork for each hoops you have to jump through for getting married. I would love to see the comparisons between countries about how difficult it is to get marriage licenses through the court/government systems, maybe a new thing to research?
I live in Florida, and the most costly part of the legal process is a name change (around $450). You need a letter from a medical provider (which you may have to pay for) to change the gender on your driver's license, birth certificate, and passport, but apart from the passport, which I don't know the cost to change, it's around $20-$30 each to change your driver's license and your birth certificate. (I would ordinarily be more specific, but my list of this information is at work, which is currently closed due to Hurricane Dorian). If you do the gender change and name change separately on your driver's license, you pay that fee twice, but if you change them together, it only has to be paid once. Florida does not have a third gender option for non-binary people, and neither does the U.S. federal government, though there are some parts of the U.S. with that option. Florida does not require surgery for a gender marker change on a driver's license or state ID card, just as the federal government does not require it for a passport change, just a letter that shows the person is undergoing appropriate clinical treatment for gender dysphoria. This could include therapy.
Hi BC! Would you mind answering a couple of questions? My child is trans but so far has done nothing. We're in WI and I've yet to find a trans therapist. Not for lack of trying anywhere in our area. Anyway as soon as he graduates high school we're out of here! Senior year! Yay! We're moving to a more trans friendly area (and also for him to go to school) FL is on our list (along with NY and CA) I won't ask where in FL you are (for obvious reasons) but is it difficult to find a therapist or doctor specializing in Trans? If so (or not) is this state wide or just your area? Or don't you know? I'm aware the Orlando area is somewhat LGBTQ+ friendly but don't know about other areas. Any help you could throw my way would be GREATLY appreciated!
Mom to a beautiful child. Ahem. Almost adult.
Victoria, Australia has just changed the law about changing birth certificate gender - that used to be limited to post-surgery trans, now it's much easier.
I totally relate to not wanting to go through the invasiveness and stress, even if you want the outcome. To change the gender on my Hong Kong ID card, I had to strip off in front of a doctor so he would write a letter confirming I did indeed have bottom surgery (literal requirement "the formation of a penis, or some form of penis" wtf??), and it was mortifying. I'm glad I did it, as I was constantly scared of leaving the country as my passport (Australian) was male, and my ID was female, and I'd been temporarily detained due to them not matching in the past. It sucked, but was worth it in the end, just as it will be for you too. I'm sure the feeling of being married as who you are will be amazing, I'm chuffed for you!
What a pain! Clearly, just by looking at you, you have been transitioning for a long time. You have obviously been on T a long time.
Jamie, when I look at you or listen to you, all I see is a sweet, lovely young man. 💙
Fingers crossed, darlin, that all goes well and it's accepted no problem!
Much Love to you and the beautiful Shaaba from Ontario, Canada 🍁...Keli
Our New Normal Moving Forward Same. I don’t know how anyone can look at Jamie as anything other than male.
In Czech Republic, in order to change your gender marker and "birth number" (apparently it is not a thing in other countries? It is a number you are given and consists of your birth date, a number distinguishing your birth sex (?!) and a random number) you have to get a hysterectomy as a trans man (orchiectomy for transfeminine folk). Basically forced sterilisation is still a thing here. On top of that, we still do not have marriage equality. We have "registered partnership" for same-sex couples, but legally it means almost nothing, especially if you want children. So it is not only a question of being adressed correctly, but also of law...
I had no idea! I want to look into this in Canada because jeepers!! Thanks for all the information! I learned a lot!
Hey Jamie. Really enjoy watching your videos. Fingers crossed everything goes as you would want it to. We're all behind you x
Holy cow, so much more paperwork and inconvenience just for being trans. There's already so much to do getting married, I totally get your frustration at this kind of scrutiny and hoops being thrown in. Love & support to you two lovebirds!
Hubby and I got married my husband is trans, pre everything. They never fussed about it. The registrar said husband and wife and had no bother at all. I understand the birth certificate is an issue but we just egnored it and had zero issue. Also there's no disclosure or title on the marriage certificate.
So yeah in a legal standpoint technically he's married in his birth gender however it's been zero issue, they used his birth certificate with his full changed name.
- we got married in Scotland.
Oh a note. You can change your name in your birth certificate without going through stat Dec, in Scotland you do it through the births and deaths records. In England you go through deed poll. You only need GRC for fem/male box on the birth certificate.
Oh and an awesome tidbit you can get married in Scotland no matter where you are from as long as you apply with 28dahs clear of the wedding date, with all documents presented. Our registrar mentioned she had people come to Scotland just to have their wedding, they put in their application, then simply appeared on the day.
Unlike England where you need to live in the area for a minimum of 9weeks or some such (meant I ended up getting married two days earlier than planned , but hey can't deny. Getting married with a month's notice was kind of fun).
Oh my god! I knew that the GRA was flawed but I had no idea that the process for getting a GRC was so ridiculously invasive.. I'm from Germany and am definitely curious now to find out if we have sth similar to this..
Find it out
We have, here you can't even decide who will testify that you are really trans, the court will send you to two different people (mostly psychotherapists or psychiatrists) who must testify this indepentent from each other.
The only plus is that all our documents depend on the birth certificate here (thats why germany has a so called Ergänzungsausweis for trans folk), so we only have to do it once and not in multiple steps like jamie.
I’m getting married (next week) as a non-binary person and the whole process has been very emotional to navigate for very similar reasons. Because my state doesn’t recognize NB people and only a few years ago legalized “same sex” marriage I’ve basically had to fit into many boxes that aren’t right. All of these are things I never thought about until I proposed and started the marriage process. With you in solidarity and hopeful your government will allow you to be married as you are 💚
Well Jamie, you were picking dresses in your last video (when I wrote this) so good look on the wedding Jamie! Love you both X
So, where I'm from in America, it costs $170 to initiate a NAME CHANGE, and then from there you have to have a court hearing with court costs and the judge can still tell you after hundreds of dollars spent that your reasons aren't valid and you aren't going to get your name legally changed. And then even if you do get your name changed, there's a bunch of stuff you have to pay even more money to get updated and it's just crazy expensive.
Congratulations on completing all the paperwork! I hope the process goes smoothly for you - you two will husband and wife before you know it!
The thing that really irks me about this is that as a cisgender person I won't have to provide evidence of my gender when I get married, simply because the reproductive organs I was born with match my gender identity?! It seems like such an outdated and inane process. 2004 was 15 years ago and we've come so far in that time with regards to equality that they really need to get a move on with updating the legislation. Anyway, I'm sorry that you have to go through all this faff and intrusion, and that this is even something you've had to consider. Good luck with the application - it had better be approved!
It's annoying enough when govt wants proof of address for something - I can't imagine having to send them proof of my gender!
For my husband and I(He is an Ftm transgender person)we got married when he had only been on T and had not had surgeries and it is a requirement that you have at least top surgery in Alabama and Arkansas, USA to change your sex on your birth certificate and only then can you change it on your license and whatnot. Our marriage license doesn't use the term wife but it does have us both marked as female and so after he has top surgery we will have to travel to Arkansas to apply for his birth certificate gender marker to be changed. After that is approved we can change everything else but because we had a friend officiate our wedding, she of course used the appropriate terminology for what we are which is husband and wife.
Wishing you the best of luck with the application! I'm so happy for the two of you.
Fingers crossed that it goes well for you and you get the legal crap done in time! It's similar here, in Canada; generally, you have to get a certificate that acknowledges you legally changing your sex, which I think the only requirement for that is to have been on hormones for at least year? And your prescribing doctor has to sign off on it or something. Usual hoops. Pretty much exactly the same as you, I just hadn't bothered with it until the prospect of being married as a woman was looming over my head.
It all went pretty well getting the certificate. I sent it in about 8 months before our date or something along those lines, got the certificate a few months later, along with my corrected birth certificate.
The problem: the only way you can get ID with the right gender on it in Canada is with a corrected birth certificate and the gender certificate thing. So from there, I had to get my ID updated. A birth certificate alone isn't enough to get a marriage certificate; I needed a piece of photo ID too.
So, the thing is, I get it. Legally, with Identity fraud and all that, these sorts of hoops do make sense. It would just be nice if - since Trans people do make up a non-insignificant portion of the population, and so this kind of situation shouldn't really be that all abnormal - government organizations like... trained their people on the notion that we, in fact, do exist.
Long story short, the ID people got confused, thought I was actually twins, one with my name and gender and another with my birth name and gender (extra weird because I'd changed my name close to 2 years before). This screwed up my Credit (and student loans), and it took a conference call with 2 different government organizations for me to get my photo ID. And 3 months of faxing the credit company, because thats the only way they communicate
I got my ID. 5 months after our 'wedding'.
We'd never planned big wedding at all, even from the start: we were always planning to get married at city hall then have a friends and family get together afterwards. So. We had the shindig on the day it was planned, didn't tell anyone except the most involved members of the wedding party (because it would have been a shit show), then got actually married 5 months later when my ID showed up.
The city hall worker that took our details when we got our marriage license was pretty confused when I looked at my for-all-intents-and-purposes-but-not-legally-at-the-time-wife while filling out the form and went "so, what day should we finally do this thing?"
I'm actually looking to get married in April next year. I'm a trans guy living in New Zealand and this particular detail has crossed my mind before but It does feel like a better process to get married here. Right now I'm only just getting into legally changing my name and still trying to get on hormones so I am very much at the beginning of this roller coaster ride, but my partner and I want to get married for Visa reasons. My fiancee being from America. At the moment I'm kinda just hanging my hopes on the idea I can change the marriage certificate later if I do have to be written down as a woman. They informed me you could change your name on the certificate after marriage so I'll be absolutely guttered if you can't do the same for your sex. In the form you can put yourself down as a partner instead of a husband or wife so that's what I ended up putting myself down as. I don't really know how to look into these small details cause New Zealand is terrible for accessible information. If you got any advise for me I'd love to hear it, if not that's okay too haha. This is halfly to share my store in this little corner of the world. Keep making great videos mate they are always really thought provoking and serious topics made fun.
Thanks for making this video, I would like to get married in the future and as a trans guy I was worried about the whole gender recognition certificate.
How did you start this process, where did you get the forms to fill out from?
Thanks for going through your process and I hope it all works out well for you and good luck with the wedding.
Living in 'Murica changing your birth certificate can be one last steps you have to do. Once you have all the paper work saying you aren't crazy and it is legally okay to change name/gender marker. You have to change it for insurance, banking, SSN(social social security card)..depends on where you were born you may need bottom surgery/a surgery to even be considered. I am lucky, I was born in California, they have open laws. They aslo are open to non binary ppl! So I need to mail it out with under 23 bucks and should be accepted because I have legally change my name and gender marker on my important IDs.
It is crazy to have UK be so open to helping ppl change for you to have to pay so you can get married as the person you are.
in washington state (US), you don’t really have to pay for changing the official certifications, but you have to pay for the new documents ($20 for a birth certificate and whatever a drivers license costs for that). minors can change their gender and name with a parents permission and with a mental health evaluation, but adults don’t need one. i don’t think people with cognitive disabilities are allowed to do this, though, which is bullshit. you can also get your gender changed to X on all legal documents. so it seems to definitely be easier here than in the UK, but i think these things could always be streamlined more
Yeah me and my spouse are lesbian married technically.
As far as the ceremony, we did the legal one quickly off to the side with a commissioner of oaths. Then we did our actual ceremony in front of all our family and friends.
Are you thinking about posting stuff about wedding planning? I love you guys and would love to see that
In Brazil the first document that you change is your birth certificate. Our documents still have written the word "sex" instead of "gender", so I had my sex legally changed, instead of my gender, what felt a bit odd... but it was done. So from my birth certificate I went through a long and boring process of changing all my other legal stuff. Here males are obliged to apply to the army, so I did that too. Not everyone who applies is called to actually work as a soldier, most people just get a certificate that you applied and that the army had too many applications and didn't need you, that was my case, so I would just be called in case of a very big war). So I would be married as a male sex person. I know that for people who were already married as same sex relationships have to change their marry certificate and can't apply to several jobs till they have it changed, because in Brazil after you get married you need to always have married certificate in legal situations, because most names changes when people get married and then new and old names will be written there.
Hey Jamie, sorry you are experiencing that.
I live in Texas and surprisingly it wasn’t that hard. I legally changed my name back in 2007 and all that was, was me going to the local court house standing in front of a judge and saying that I was not changing my name to avoid debt or something.
Then I recently had top surgery and the doctor wrote a letter which I took back to the court hose and filed a form to change my gender, stood in front of a judge again and they signed it. Then went and changed my B/C and Drivers License/Voter Registration the same day...last thing I did was go to the SSA and that was annoying only because they are so slow.
Overall I can’t complain with the process, everywhere I went everyone was super nice and helpful. Although I do live in the hippest (flower power) city in Texas...so yeah.
I know you stumbled over your explanation, but it was very informative!
So glad for both of you.
Fingers crossed!❌⭕❌⭕
i HATE these barriers we still face, in Canada as well. I'm stuck waiting YEARS for my bottom surgery, and I'm 40. So harsh
Good luck Jamie! Hope everything goes more smoothly than expected. Paperwork sucks lol
Best of luck! I'm sure it will all work out and you guys are going to have a beautiful wedding! Sending positive thoughts you way! You are an inspiration!
It's interesting to hear this because a doctor told me that sex and gender are never mentioned when you get married, in a legal sense. He said you don't need a GRC. But I was sceptical of that. You seem convinced it matters. I guess one problem is that the process is somewhat opaque and you don't necessarily know until you are standing in front of an official who is in charge of approving your marriage etc. It makes sense to get the GRC to make sure it doesn't happen.
This is the reason why I'm not coming out to my parents as transgender till I move out, because I don't want them to pay for all of it.
you could still tell them but say you want to pay for everything yourself
Also, idk about where you live, but I know in a lot of US states, they won't let you change your name or gender marker for trans reasons until you've been on hormones for a year and have some form of surgery. The only thing is that they don't require it be bottom surgery which is nice.
But you can at least start your medical transition if that's something you want, that way when you move out, you wont have to wait to get legal stuff changed
I came out and my mom disagrees
In my view your mum disagrees because she loves you.
To love is not to say "yes" to everything to make the other person feel good.
To love is to be compassionate but to tell the truth because the truth liberates.
Lies sometimes make you feel good but they trap you as well.
In the fairy tale "Snow White" I am sure that Snow White 's step mother (who felt threatened by Snow White 's growing up and by her potential ) would have felt delighted if Snow White had decided to transition into a man, to take hormones, to have her breasts cut, etc ...
Snow White 's real mum (who is dead in the fairy tale), unlike the wicked and narcissistic stepmother, would have liked to see her daughter growing up.
She would not have minded if her daughter had become better than her, more beautiful, more independent.
She would have been pleased for her daughter.
The difficulties that we face are often linked to the fear of growing up.
Trauma disconnects from the self.
You didn't mention your dad.
Is he absent ????
corinne godard what the actual fuck, corinne?!?
Do I thumbs down or up!?!? Love you! 🥰Hate that this is such a complicated process for you and Shaba....😵
Thumbs up because if you thumbs down it speaks badly for his video. It really sucks that it a complicated process but that's just kinda how it is for trans people. I have faith that it will go fine for him :)
I'm not watching this because I am going through the same thing, but learning about the difficulties that transgender people face. I think as a society in the UK, we have become more accepting, but more should be put in place for processes such as this to run more smoothly 💕
I know here in the UK you get a deed poll to change your name and title, so you don't need to change your birth certificate to do that. In Brazil the only way to get your name change is to get a new birth certificate issues. Thankfully like last year they changed how you get this done and its a bit easier - you now just need to gather a bunch of documents (and pay a lot for them) and go to a courthouse and submit the request. Before you had to appear in front of a judge and everything. The only requirement is that you have to be at least 18 years old. And its supposed to take only 15-20 days once you apply (mine took 6 months to get done though).
I am not trans but I have trans friends. I love your videos, I learn so much and you are just so much fun to watch. It’s so sad that you have to jump through so many hoops just to get married. I really hope everything is approved. You two are the cutest couple!
Can their ship name be shimmie
riley jenkins Jamsha
Shammie is the cutest
The name changing process in the US seems really similar, but it’s a lot longer. I’m currently going through it to get married as well! I’m in Michigan, United States.
First you file a petition to change your name, which you send to the main court in your state. I finished my petition a while ago, but I can’t afford to send it.
They have a waiver you can file, and I’m stuck in that process right now.
If they approve your petition, you set a court hearing and represent yourself in court. The name change gets posted to a local paper for a few weeks, and if no one disputes the choice you’re free to go get your birth certificate changed. It’s very VERY expensive here, and there are a lot of opportunities for you to get denied.
After that you need to get things like social security, a new driver’s license, etc.
It gets posted in a local paper?? What, like so that everybody in your town knows what's going on?
Elias Klein It definitely feels like it lol! It’s in case anyone with the same name wants to debate the choice, or if someone thinks it’s for fraudulent reasons. But for ppl like me who are escaping bad situations, posting it loud and clear in the newspaper can be dangerous!!