this is how built-up anger, depression, anything negative sounds like and i love it 😂 (everyday is a dice to see if i am lucky or not, and i am always unlucky, when will it be good again.)
Man I'm always swapping between being emotionally and mentally unstable and recovering it's genuinely excruciating given I'm trying my hardest, no it does not get better man.
sempiternal and ephemeral echoes of memories that haunt you back and forth like a pendulum running through your mind-- are these memories mine or yours you tend to ask yourself this is the constant mental state of destruction across the fragmentation of your life-- is this really yours, or have you only been part of the system in its entire time?
these "im so depressed people" are so annoying people who really are depressed would want to improve instead of finding comfort in your own sadness i really hope you get better take the first step by getting genuine friends that you dont show a fake version of yourself to it may be hard but it'll work
Awhile ago I was walking home while listening to Inside Out. As soon as the song was finished, I looked up and I was observing the stars and then this played. It was so mesmerizing that I couldn't get my eyes off the stars because of this. The more Stratosphere went on, the brighter the stars got for me. I even saw a shooting star and made a wish on the spot
WHY IS THIS TRACK SO UNDERRATED? this is one of my favorite pieces of music ive ever heard... its so hauntingly beautiful... its painful and recognizes the pain of our lives yet consoles us about it. this song taps into layers of my subconscious very little art has reached and it brings me back to specific childhood memories and imaginary places vividly. it makes me painfully long for them, and makes me feel the hole in my self that i wish was filled with the love of childhood. duster supremacy asf
the emotional turmoil of being alive. the highs and lows associated with it -- silence's wind all through a stratosphere of chaos, yet of silence. a ringing in your ears plague your mind -- are these the catacombs of your life? this song rings the very human condition of rotting away through the passage of time -- time asked, is this your life or mine? you fail to answer the question, yet you patch yourself more with holes than ever before
Fr (I'm going insane, I constantly wanna end myself, everyone judges me for everything I do, I can't do anything right, I suck at school, I suck at socializing, I suck at everything I do, I just don't wanna be here )
this song gives me such a weird feeling, and i love it. its a mix of memories, happy and sad, its good but bad at the same time. i cant explain it. (i wont make it another week.)
This song really describes my emotions. Whenever I feel really stressed and anxious, I start to feel very angry. The drum beats and the symbols really matchup to these intense emotions. And I love it. Gives me chills down my spine and a deep throbbing weight on my chest and stomach while I’m having a war in my head. (im going insane)
Every time I come back to listen to this, i'll edit this comment and say whats happening in my life. (theres gonna be a lot of edit's) cya. Edit #1: 11/19/22 11:37 AM. First day of thanksgiving break, chill morning, playing getting over it and vibing. See you soon. Edit#2: 12/16/22 11:12 PM. Hey guys, I didn’t forget to update, just haven’t listened to stratosphere on UA-cam in a bit. God what can I say about my life, there’s just much happening. I had the worst sickness of my life today, some sort of flu hybrid. Had a fever of 104.9, pretty high for a 14 year old. I kinda hate my new school, I wish I could be back at my old one but we’ll see next year. Duster hits different in a new school where your depressed for half of the day. Derealization is pretty much non existent at this point which I’m very happy about. Anyway, I am still sick as fuck and should probably go to bed soon, and the video ended. Until next time - E. Edit #3: 12/23/22 11:57 AM. Hey. Im done being sick, and christmas is a just a day away. not much to say. went to a weird party type of thing at my highschool. It sucked for about half of it but once i asked some people if they wanted to play some cards it was better. Happy holidays you depressed ppl. Edit #4: 12/28/22 4:22 PM. Done being sick. Still sick in the mind though. Worked out for the first time yesterday, now my whole body hurts. I hate winter break. Nothing ever fun happens during these long periods of no school. Not like i like school though, i just find my life so fucking boring. Back when my mental health was bad, that was atleast interesting, now that im doing better. I have nothing. I felt so much comfort in my illness, but now... who knows. Christmas was alright. It has lost all of its special ness now. Just another day. Just another god damn day. I think duster is bad for me, because now i feel more empty than i did 10 minutes ago. Thats fine though. Maybe ill be comfortable again. Thats enough venting and ranting for one day. bye. Edit #5: 12/31//22 4:17 PM. New Year’s Eve. Cleaning my room before I go to a new year’s sort of party, depression has faded, but still lingers. Lost a good friend yesterday, he didn’t die but he just didn’t want to be friends anymore. I know I should feel sad about losing a friend I’ve been best friends worth for about a year but I just don’t really care. I feel like it’s a lack of empathy or something but I don’t know. Happy New Years though. Edit #6 3/10/23. 1:04 AM. Havent updated in a while, not like anyone rlly cares. A lot has happend. For one im turning 15 in 4 days, aka 4 days until the worst year of my life is over. I lost my virginity about 2 weeks ago, but in return i ruined 2 of my close friendships. Not sure if it was worth it. Feeling pretty lonely and down at the moment. Been sober for 5 months or so, pretty tubular ngl. Im getting closer and closer to landing a front shuv, and it finally seems like im progressing. I dont know whos reading this, but if its me; do you still have the thoughts? The unexplainable ones, when you realize your a human existing in a whole too big to comprehend. The moment when you snap out of subconscious thought. I should be asleep rn as i do have school tmr but fuck it. Does it really matter? short answer: no. Tmr will be exact same as any other day, wake up, go to school, go home, sleep, repeat. Noah is such a fuckin bipolar. Will go from being this fun dude to being a absolute asshole within 5 minutes. Did you ask out venus? You can say it was bc of the dare but we both know you want to. I dont know why, but i think i like her. shes really pretty thats for sure. To anyone concerned for my well being (there is no one) im not fine. I say im fine bc its easier than saying "no i dont like existing and constantly being alone while still questioning my sanity" but instead i say im fine. Fucking reality man Edit #7 11:31 PM March 23rd. God what to say. Made a new friend/mutual friend. Cool guy named sonny, hella fun to have ppl I can skate with again. Bombed some massive hills, gotta go back to buttercup and that hill by ishans property. Probation ends in a week give or take. Might fight tule when it ends, not that I have anything against him, just for sport. I asked out Venus, she said no, it that’s fine bc now there’s a new junior who just transferred. Ngl kinda crushing on her, and I can’t go five minutes without my classmates asking if I’m rizzing up the new girl (I am kinda). That’s the problem with rcm, it’s too fucking small. Can’t do anything without everyone knowing it. Might go surfing with sonny on Sunday, the 7ft waves would totally kick my ass if I went, but that ain’t gonna stop me. Wiping out is hella fun anyways. Life is some what tolerable now, haven’t been super depressed I’m a while. I still get the thoughts when I snap out of sub conscious mind quite often but that’s all right. I can cope with them now. Anyway song ends so I’m outta here to go mindlessly scroll some more. Adios. April 1st: 10:50 PM Sunday night. Do I love her? That junior girl, Do I love her? We’ve been dating for three weeks and I feel so much for her already. My heart hurts by how much my longing for her is. But… I feel like I’m just gon hurt her in the long run, i constantly feel like I’m in lover with her for 98% of the day but in times like right now, I feel like I don’t. If you asked me why I couldn’t tell you. Tmr we’re gonna hangout, she’ll come to ishans place and we’ll cuddle and stuff. She’ll ask what I said today and deleted. I’ll tell her the joke and then slip out the three words of true passion. I love her eyes, I love the way looks at me, I love her personality, I love the way she texts, I love how sweet she is, I love how smoothly our conversations go, I love how shy she gets when she wants to ask me a question, I love the way she says I LOVE, I just… I love you Maya. First girl I’ve ever felt like anything like towards. Sure I’ve had crushes, but not like this. And yet I feel empty. Not true emptiness, just nothing. So do I really love her? Or am I just stuck in the feels?!! I have no fucking clue, but I know I’ll feel a million times different she is in my arms. I keep thinking about what Noah C said, about how I’m manipulating her by acting differently around her. But that’s just not true. Yes I act differently around her compared to how I act with him, but that’s because with other people I put on this persona of this quite cool guy that doesn’t feel anything and is gangster or whatever. But I trust her with seeing the other side of me. I know she would understand that side of me. I feel I could tell her all my problems and she would just hug me and touch me hair and I would feel as if everything is okay. I show her the vulnerability that I lock away all day everyday, I almost want to just hold her and cry. I almost did after open mic night. When I was hugging her and her leather jacket. I’m close to crying rn, don’t even know why… overcome with emotions I guess. I got court in 2 days, then this whole situation will be done with. ngl 🙎♂️🔫 ain’t sounding that bad rn. but I would never, not until me and Maya are done at least. Kidding, I’m out of here tho. 🫡 April 9th. I think I’m getting the true high school experience, relationship drama, depression, drinking, going to parties. Me and Maya ended things last Friday and that broke me, but she invited me to a party last night and we ended up making out. She told me she still loves me and that she is really sorry for hurting me. I drank and smoked and deadass felt like I was on shrooms again. Lots of patterns and feeling like I had lived that exact moment before. I could have had sex with her but she was too drunk and that felt wrong. All around 9/10 experience for my first party. Very goofy ngl. Happy Easter btw May 11th. 6:13 PM. Holy shit reading the entry from april 1st was so cringe. Im sorry u had to read that. Me and her have completely ignored each other for about a month at this point. It sucks but hey its whatever. I sort of miss her, but i realized that i only miss the old her (before she became a bitch) and that im not really missing her. Just missing those memories. Started talking to a new girl, shes... something. Shes dated a lot dudes, but has never had sex i think. Sounds sorta whore ish but at the same time not really. I bought a bottle of bacardi today for like 25 bucks so me and her can drink when we hang out in 2 days. Im not sure if im gonna date her or just become homies w her. On one hand i feel like were pretty good friends, but it would be so much better if we were friends who would cuddle and shit. If we do end up dating, it sure will be a very different experience compared to the girls ive dated before. I mean, the first time were hanging out were gonna get drunk and walk around town. Pretty crazy. thats enough girl talk tho. Me and noah have such a bipolar relationship, one week well be good friends, the next well hate eachother. Also fucking sonny ghosted me. I dont eve know why, me and him would skate like once a week, but like a month ago he just stopped opening my messages. Its not that he isnt seeing them, bc hes always active and literally views my stories. Started skipping class a lot more i wont lie, my school is so easy to skip tho. If i avoid brian then none of my teachers give any fucks. Thats something that ahs wont have thats for sure. Guess whos on dph?? THIS GUY. I took 6 25mgs and i feel tired. thats abt it. bye bye Last edit (until i get drunk and wanna vent) Ive decided to start writing in a journal instead of online. Enjoy your guy's summer and lives
I have heard this so many times, I wish someone could relate to exstinential dread and understand how we can help eachother, just even by lending out a hand. Please man, don't wait until it's too late. You will never know the value of someone until they are in the ground 6 ft under... R.I.P wee
If Duster has a million fans, then I am one of them. If Duster has ten fans, then I am one of them. If Duster has only one fan then that is me. If Duster has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Duster, then I am against the world.
мне нравится что эта песня звучит как полная беспросветная тишина и в то же время как самый истошный гул (скорее даже немой крик) который можно было бы когда либо услышать
I remember falling asleep while listening to music, never listened to Duster before, and then I woke up and this started playing. It was a strange feeling to say the least.
This song sounds like that shallow feeling of realising that the moment of joy you are searching for in your everyday life has been happening over and over again in the few happy memories you managed to keep (i want to die)
remember people, sadness is comforting. The more u listen to this music and reminisce the more you manifest what upsets you - making it harder to adopt a positive mindset. Surround yourself by positive things, try to stop listening to depressing music so much and I promise it will get better
I don't even know what's happening or what's gonna happen with me I just feel I have no control over my life and I can't do anything about it the only time I'm ever at peace is when I'm with someone or something to distract me whenever I'm alone it gets scary and I don't talk about it to anyone I'm a mess and I'm not even trying to do anything about it it's all my fault I only have myself to blame I don't know why I don't do anything i just feel I don't have the strength to do it everyday is the same routine and when school is overabd I come home my day only gets worse from then hopefully it gets better but it probably won't it only goes away to only come back worse
This is the epitome of growth and development, being broken down by other people so you can build yourself back up a stronger, more dignified human being.
Это то видео, к которому я возвращаюсь каждый день. После тяжелого дня, я включаю эту песню и чувствую "перерождение". Я остаюсь на едине со своими мыслями, они проникают мне в голову. А на следущий день я все забываю
Звуки дают мне фальшивую но красивую жизнь… Жизнь которой я бы хотел жить без конца и мечтать о лучших моментах своей судьбы, забывая о том что творится сейчас …
Almost loud enough to forget that my whole life ive been used, and that i lost everything that made me happy. My mom, my freinds, my hobbies, my dog, my home, i can go on and on but nothing will bring my old life back. Every day i sit and rot in my room, suffering in silence from the imense dread coming from the fact that it only gets worse from here. I use substances to drown the sorow but its all temporary. Im dieing alone and i must accept that, im gussing i wont make it passed 30
@@kesko8071”goodnight dad I love you” by wishing and “I threw a rock off an overpass and killed a guy” by sign crushes motorist both have that same sad static like sound similar to this
Why is it that everyone in their teens has fun socializing and it’s easy for them to make new friends and even despite the difficulties in their lives they are truly happy, but I’m constantly rotting in my room, constantly suffering from depression and anxiety, tilt of apathy, I’m a big disappointment in my family every time I have a feeling of not being brought to myself and I don’t even know about my future, I’m just an idiot who is desperately waiting for his fate and who will never wake up, living in my fantasy I imagine an ideal life but sometimes forgetting about the real one, I don’t want to die but just cease to exist
me when the constant memory that scarred me months ago will not leave, it is constant, and for some reason will never leave, it follows me everywhere. Everywhere I look and everyone I look at reminds me of that one person :sillytime: as I am writing this, I am withstanding horrible amounts of pain
I wished I had a friend i never had one i dont know why im not weird or really really ugly also im very polite and i adapt to everyones personality so they can have lots of fun with me well..... that doesnt Matter because wathever i do i always end Up alone . I never was someones favourite people have always made fun of me because im the only one with no Friends I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried but no nothing works i always endup alone .because of the lonliness i started to eat more and more also i stopped studing and working so as fast as i realized no one loved me my grades dropped from 9 and 10 to embarrasings 4 and 5 in conclusión my life sucks and i dont know why im still alive guys dont be like me and apreciate your Friends ( sorry for the mistakes im from Spain )
i've been there. maybe not as bad as you, but i get it. making deep connections with people can literally feel so tiresome and pointless. it can feel like going around in circles only to never have a desired relationship or friendship with them. but you're only learning from this. imagine talking to yourself at age 5. tell your younger self how much you've grown, how much you've learned throughout life and give him advice about it. i mean, 8 billion people in the world. not all are the ones you've surrounded yourself with, and i know there's at least one for you. you only need one friend for a happy life.
I haven’t been intoxicated to this extent in a while but I do have to say this song really comes in clutch when it comes to silencing the intrusive thoughts. Like Damn the thoughts of all the inhumane things I want to do to myself just all whisk away because this music fills my head with nothing but voids and clouds. It brings me great peace
duster fans when loud ac unit starts playing 🔥🔥
yuhhh
Real🙏
Your mom when i don't pull out 😬💦
You know it😂
ts is my jam🔥🔥
I'VE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE💪 🔥🔥🗣🗣🗣
It’s too late
@@RandomUser4202 its no use
You will never know the value of a moment, until it becomes a memory...
dont make me cry arnold.
real shit
Real bro no cap.
@@poean2 real.
Ur wriw nrever❤
real ( this is a genuine cry for help)
Fr (im gonna let the voices win this week)
Ong( this is a signal for sos)
deadass (i can’t do this)
I feel sorry for you.
I drove through the French country last week all week, kept seeing this everywhere
What
@@deathrow9714 he means that he was seeing grass everywhere
Niice username
lol that's sweet. there are similar vistas in Pierrot Le Fou
That seems nice. In Canada within the Great Plains, fields like these stretch on endlessly
This song is like the aftermath of years of constant stress, grasping desperately for a resting place after the ambush of agony
the only song loud enough to make my thoughts go away, man i love it
real real 🤣💯
100% relatable istg
real
“My thoughts cut deeper than any blade” shut up emo ass 😭
fr.
this is how built-up anger, depression, anything negative sounds like and i love it 😂
(everyday is a dice to see if i am lucky or not, and i am always unlucky, when will it be good again.)
To who ever needs this:
*Take your time, it’s going to be okay.*
Man I'm always swapping between being emotionally and mentally unstable and recovering it's genuinely excruciating given I'm trying my hardest, no it does not get better man.
☹️
_*No it’s not. I can’t keep doing this anymore._
I keep telling that to myself, but nothing seems to change, I dont know if Im doing something wrong
GET OUT MY HEAD GET OUT MY HEAD GET OUT MY HEAAAAAAAAADDDD
YOU FR LIKE ME
@@realongfr5193 DWAG SHE ANT WORTH IT
real
He like me fr
real
Why is this song so cold and warm at the same time 😭
This World killing me fr
it'll be all love one day I promise:))
Type shit
This song sounds like my constant mental state
same tbh
sempiternal and ephemeral echoes of memories that haunt you back and forth like a pendulum running through your mind--
are these memories mine or yours you tend to ask yourself
this is the constant mental state of destruction across the fragmentation of your life--
is this really yours,
or have you only been part of the system in its entire time?
real shit
overcast empty and droning like the fields of nebraska
This song gives me a strange feeling of emptiness that makes me satisfied instead of sadness, and i love it.(One day my mask of sanity will slip off)
gosh... the unfulfilled silence that i thought i never needed -- the song of silence that resonates the melancholic desire of destruction
cornball 💀
these "im so depressed people" are so annoying people who really are depressed would want to improve instead of finding comfort in your own sadness i really hope you get better take the first step by getting genuine friends that you dont show a fake version of yourself to it may be hard but it'll work
@@TulapYippee fr bro💀
@@boardsofcahada no its just finding comfort in your own sack of sht because your to lazy to do anything because its easier then bettering yourself
Awhile ago I was walking home while listening to Inside Out. As soon as the song was finished, I looked up and I was observing the stars and then this played. It was so mesmerizing that I couldn't get my eyes off the stars because of this. The more Stratosphere went on, the brighter the stars got for me. I even saw a shooting star and made a wish on the spot
sounds like this song.
mofd profile pic!
I recognize your pfp, where's it from?
@@user-jd6do2ls2j mass of the fermenting dregs - the world is yours
real real
best duster song
fr
real real.
real
What is this all about I am not able to understand there is no lyrics what is it like....
@@mariakhan3852 makes your brain go static and makes you fell empty but it feels good for some reson
this shit go hard 🔥🔥🔥(i’m not okay)
real
real
real
REAL
real
WE DO NOT BALL🙏🙏🙏🙏(im having thoughts horrible thoughts.)
this album is lit (not a day goes by where i dont think of hurting myself and ending my own life 😂😂😂😂)
WHY IS THIS TRACK SO UNDERRATED? this is one of my favorite pieces of music ive ever heard... its so hauntingly beautiful... its painful and recognizes the pain of our lives yet consoles us about it. this song taps into layers of my subconscious very little art has reached and it brings me back to specific childhood memories and imaginary places vividly. it makes me painfully long for them, and makes me feel the hole in my self that i wish was filled with the love of childhood. duster supremacy asf
the emotional turmoil of being alive. the highs and lows associated with it -- silence's wind all through a stratosphere of chaos, yet of silence. a ringing in your ears plague your mind -- are these the catacombs of your life?
this song rings the very human condition of rotting away through the passage of time -- time asked, is this your life or mine?
you fail to answer the question, yet you patch yourself more with holes than ever before
so true
nice pfp bro
I dont usually reply, but try C418s warmth. (yes from minecraft)
@@someguy7294 love that one too!! daniel rosenfeld is a genius
also warmth gives me board of canada vibes lol
Endless thoughts roaming an empty world. A world where nothing can be seen.
THIS IS SO GOOD (i can’t stop hearing the voices in my head)
Real
god i wish that it were over. this song makes me feel that way.
Fr (I'm going insane, I constantly wanna end myself, everyone judges me for everything I do, I can't do anything right, I suck at school, I suck at socializing, I suck at everything I do, I just don't wanna be here )
me fr
@bobloxbacondabest you are going to be ok. I promise
this song gives me such a weird feeling, and i love it. its a mix of memories, happy and sad, its good but bad at the same time. i cant explain it. (i wont make it another week.)
THIS MUSIC IS ABSALOUTE FIRE ❗❗❗❗🥶🥶🔥🔥🔥🔥 (i cant take this anymore.)
Can u plz explain what is this all about I am not able to understand there is no lyrics what is this
@@mariakhan3852 ooohhh Maria. U will not understand.
Only the ones who are litterally on the verge of life and death can understand
@@guitarboy1.011Yes, only the deads by the inside out.
This song makes me feel weird yet calm at the same time, as if i'm drifting alone in the infinite edges of space and i am at peace
the calamity of isolation -- the extreme of total silence's symphony.
for this way, you have been allowed to breath so so selfishly.
@@galena.5925 ｗｏａｈ ｍａｎ、 ｔｈａｔ'ｓ ｐｒｅｔｔｙ ｄｅｅｐ。
i made this while high for context
i have no idea how they made the most depressing soul numbing track I’ve ever heard
love it tho
Quite possibly my favorite song ever and duster isn't even in my top 5 artists
i haven’t been able to put into words how this song makes me feel. you just described how this song makes me feel:)
Слушать этот трек, лежать на кровати и смотреть в окно, в котором серое небо, птицы, заснеженные здания - чувство, которое невозможно описать.
WE GOING INSANE WITH THIS ONE🗣📣🔥🔥🔥 (im so alone and im not okay)
Real
Real.
And we still say we fine 🤡🤡
im not okay either
real
This song really describes my emotions. Whenever I feel really stressed and anxious, I start to feel very angry. The drum beats and the symbols really matchup to these intense emotions. And I love it. Gives me chills down my spine and a deep throbbing weight on my chest and stomach while I’m having a war in my head. (im going insane)
Silence at last
I think we all are going insane in this modern world.
we is not making it out of soul crushing depression with this one 💯 🔥
I was looking for another song named "Stratosphere" but I'm happy to have discovered this one.
Every time I come back to listen to this, i'll edit this comment and say whats happening in my life. (theres gonna be a lot of edit's) cya.
Edit #1: 11/19/22 11:37 AM. First day of thanksgiving break, chill morning, playing getting over it and vibing. See you soon.
Edit#2: 12/16/22 11:12 PM. Hey guys, I didn’t forget to update, just haven’t listened to stratosphere on UA-cam in a bit. God what can I say about my life, there’s just much happening. I had the worst sickness of my life today, some sort of flu hybrid. Had a fever of 104.9, pretty high for a 14 year old. I kinda hate my new school, I wish I could be back at my old one but we’ll see next year. Duster hits different in a new school where your depressed for half of the day. Derealization is pretty much non existent at this point which I’m very happy about. Anyway, I am still sick as fuck and should probably go to bed soon, and the video ended. Until next time - E.
Edit #3: 12/23/22 11:57 AM. Hey. Im done being sick, and christmas is a just a day away. not much to say. went to a weird party type of thing at my highschool. It sucked for about half of it but once i asked some people if they wanted to play some cards it was better. Happy holidays you depressed ppl.
Edit #4: 12/28/22 4:22 PM. Done being sick. Still sick in the mind though. Worked out for the first time yesterday, now my whole body hurts. I hate winter break. Nothing ever fun happens during these long periods of no school. Not like i like school though, i just find my life so fucking boring. Back when my mental health was bad, that was atleast interesting, now that im doing better. I have nothing. I felt so much comfort in my illness, but now... who knows. Christmas was alright. It has lost all of its special ness now. Just another day. Just another god damn day. I think duster is bad for me, because now i feel more empty than i did 10 minutes ago. Thats fine though. Maybe ill be comfortable again. Thats enough venting and ranting for one day. bye.
Edit #5: 12/31//22 4:17 PM. New Year’s Eve. Cleaning my room before I go to a new year’s sort of party, depression has faded, but still lingers. Lost a good friend yesterday, he didn’t die but he just didn’t want to be friends anymore. I know I should feel sad about losing a friend I’ve been best friends worth for about a year but I just don’t really care. I feel like it’s a lack of empathy or something but I don’t know. Happy New Years though.
Edit #6 3/10/23. 1:04 AM. Havent updated in a while, not like anyone rlly cares. A lot has happend. For one im turning 15 in 4 days, aka 4 days until the worst year of my life is over. I lost my virginity about 2 weeks ago, but in return i ruined 2 of my close friendships. Not sure if it was worth it. Feeling pretty lonely and down at the moment. Been sober for 5 months or so, pretty tubular ngl. Im getting closer and closer to landing a front shuv, and it finally seems like im progressing. I dont know whos reading this, but if its me; do you still have the thoughts? The unexplainable ones, when you realize your a human existing in a whole too big to comprehend. The moment when you snap out of subconscious thought. I should be asleep rn as i do have school tmr but fuck it. Does it really matter? short answer: no. Tmr will be exact same as any other day, wake up, go to school, go home, sleep, repeat. Noah is such a fuckin bipolar. Will go from being this fun dude to being a absolute asshole within 5 minutes. Did you ask out venus? You can say it was bc of the dare but we both know you want to. I dont know why, but i think i like her. shes really pretty thats for sure. To anyone concerned for my well being (there is no one) im not fine. I say im fine bc its easier than saying "no i dont like existing and constantly being alone while still questioning my sanity" but instead i say im fine. Fucking reality man
Edit #7 11:31 PM March 23rd. God what to say. Made a new friend/mutual friend. Cool guy named sonny, hella fun to have ppl I can skate with again. Bombed some massive hills, gotta go back to buttercup and that hill by ishans property. Probation ends in a week give or take. Might fight tule when it ends, not that I have anything against him, just for sport. I asked out Venus, she said no, it that’s fine bc now there’s a new junior who just transferred. Ngl kinda crushing on her, and I can’t go five minutes without my classmates asking if I’m rizzing up the new girl (I am kinda). That’s the problem with rcm, it’s too fucking small. Can’t do anything without everyone knowing it. Might go surfing with sonny on Sunday, the 7ft waves would totally kick my ass if I went, but that ain’t gonna stop me. Wiping out is hella fun anyways. Life is some what tolerable now, haven’t been super depressed I’m a while. I still get the thoughts when I snap out of sub conscious mind quite often but that’s all right. I can cope with them now. Anyway song ends so I’m outta here to go mindlessly scroll some more. Adios.
April 1st: 10:50 PM Sunday night. Do I love her? That junior girl, Do I love her? We’ve been dating for three weeks and I feel so much for her already. My heart hurts by how much my longing for her is. But… I feel like I’m just gon hurt her in the long run, i constantly feel like I’m in lover with her for 98% of the day but in times like right now, I feel like I don’t. If you asked me why I couldn’t tell you. Tmr we’re gonna hangout, she’ll come to ishans place and we’ll cuddle and stuff. She’ll ask what I said today and deleted. I’ll tell her the joke and then slip out the three words of true passion. I love her eyes, I love the way looks at me, I love her personality, I love the way she texts, I love how sweet she is, I love how smoothly our conversations go, I love how shy she gets when she wants to ask me a question, I love the way she says I LOVE, I just… I love you Maya. First girl I’ve ever felt like anything like towards. Sure I’ve had crushes, but not like this. And yet I feel empty. Not true emptiness, just nothing. So do I really love her? Or am I just stuck in the feels?!! I have no fucking clue, but I know I’ll feel a million times different she is in my arms. I keep thinking about what Noah C said, about how I’m manipulating her by acting differently around her. But that’s just not true. Yes I act differently around her compared to how I act with him, but that’s because with other people I put on this persona of this quite cool guy that doesn’t feel anything and is gangster or whatever. But I trust her with seeing the other side of me. I know she would understand that side of me. I feel I could tell her all my problems and she would just hug me and touch me hair and I would feel as if everything is okay. I show her the vulnerability that I lock away all day everyday, I almost want to just hold her and cry. I almost did after open mic night. When I was hugging her and her leather jacket. I’m close to crying rn, don’t even know why… overcome with emotions I guess. I got court in 2 days, then this whole situation will be done with. ngl 🙎♂️🔫 ain’t sounding that bad rn. but I would never, not until me and Maya are done at least. Kidding, I’m out of here tho. 🫡
April 9th. I think I’m getting the true high school experience, relationship drama, depression, drinking, going to parties. Me and Maya ended things last Friday and that broke me, but she invited me to a party last night and we ended up making out. She told me she still loves me and that she is really sorry for hurting me. I drank and smoked and deadass felt like I was on shrooms again. Lots of patterns and feeling like I had lived that exact moment before. I could have had sex with her but she was too drunk and that felt wrong. All around 9/10 experience for my first party. Very goofy ngl. Happy Easter btw
May 11th. 6:13 PM. Holy shit reading the entry from april 1st was so cringe. Im sorry u had to read that. Me and her have completely ignored each other for about a month at this point. It sucks but hey its whatever. I sort of miss her, but i realized that i only miss the old her (before she became a bitch) and that im not really missing her. Just missing those memories. Started talking to a new girl, shes... something. Shes dated a lot dudes, but has never had sex i think. Sounds sorta whore ish but at the same time not really. I bought a bottle of bacardi today for like 25 bucks so me and her can drink when we hang out in 2 days. Im not sure if im gonna date her or just become homies w her. On one hand i feel like were pretty good friends, but it would be so much better if we were friends who would cuddle and shit. If we do end up dating, it sure will be a very different experience compared to the girls ive dated before. I mean, the first time were hanging out were gonna get drunk and walk around town. Pretty crazy. thats enough girl talk tho. Me and noah have such a bipolar relationship, one week well be good friends, the next well hate eachother. Also fucking sonny ghosted me. I dont eve know why, me and him would skate like once a week, but like a month ago he just stopped opening my messages. Its not that he isnt seeing them, bc hes always active and literally views my stories. Started skipping class a lot more i wont lie, my school is so easy to skip tho. If i avoid brian then none of my teachers give any fucks. Thats something that ahs wont have thats for sure.
Guess whos on dph?? THIS GUY. I took 6 25mgs and i feel tired. thats abt it. bye bye
Last edit (until i get drunk and wanna vent) Ive decided to start writing in a journal instead of online. Enjoy your guy's summer and lives
Where update
you forgot to update
:0
I hope your doing good man
i hope ur doing ok bro
My parents deserved something better 🤣👏
Same lmao
Lit!
real
fr 🙂
You okay, bro?
I have heard this so many times, I wish someone could relate to exstinential dread and understand how we can help eachother, just even by lending out a hand. Please man, don't wait until it's too late. You will never know the value of someone until they are in the ground 6 ft under... R.I.P wee
This shit hella fire🔥🔥🔥 (I'm not Human anymore I am going fucking insane)
why is there so much hate and violence in the world, you just gotta listen to this in the dark on loop for 8 hours
@@golden6335 you're mom
Eight hours? You're out here letting it sublimate into your subconcious at that point.
Sounds like passing the time so you can get somewhere you don’t wanna go to in the first place
If Duster has a million fans, then I am one of them. If Duster has ten fans, then I am one of them. If Duster has only one fan then that is me. If Duster has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Duster, then I am against the world.
Just gotta make it to Friday 😂
No friends. No gf. No reason. Completely alone and no where to go
мне нравится что эта песня звучит как полная беспросветная тишина и в то же время как самый истошный гул (скорее даже немой крик) который можно было бы когда либо услышать
real
реал
real
God fucking damnit.
I remember falling asleep while listening to music, never listened to Duster before, and then I woke up and this started playing. It was a strange feeling to say the least.
This song sounds like that shallow feeling of realising that the moment of joy you are searching for in your everyday life has been happening over and over again in the few happy memories you managed to keep (i want to die)
this song being put right after inside out was fuckin genius
what a banger🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 (im at rock bottom again)
this song sounds like a painting
“As the world falls apart, one man, lost in his own hubris, defies god, taking a sinner. Who but Himself”
HITS HARD
remember people, sadness is comforting. The more u listen to this music and reminisce the more you manifest what upsets you - making it harder to adopt a positive mindset. Surround yourself by positive things, try to stop listening to depressing music so much and I promise it will get better
Listen to depressing music and enter your villain arc, become unstoppable
@@Youngy Preach brother preach
Depressing music is cathartic. It makes you actually feel things. Not just apathy
why do i like the way this song hurts me
this is art (the voices in my head make me insane)
real
BIGGEST EYE, BIGGEST FLY, BIGGEST PIE , "I LOVE YOU".
I don't even know what's happening or what's gonna happen with me I just feel I have no control over my life and I can't do anything about it the only time I'm ever at peace is when I'm with someone or something to distract me whenever I'm alone it gets scary and I don't talk about it to anyone I'm a mess and I'm not even trying to do anything about it it's all my fault I only have myself to blame I don't know why I don't do anything i just feel I don't have the strength to do it everyday is the same routine and when school is overabd I come home my day only gets worse from then hopefully it gets better but it probably won't it only goes away to only come back worse
i feel you. Struggling eternally.
This is the epitome of growth and development, being broken down by other people so you can build yourself back up a stronger, more dignified human being.
This during a midnight workout is something else
And echo, bravo
The naming of the song is absolute perfection
Это то видео, к которому я возвращаюсь каждый день. После тяжелого дня, я включаю эту песню и чувствую "перерождение". Я остаюсь на едине со своими мыслями, они проникают мне в голову. А на следущий день я все забываю
Звуки дают мне фальшивую но красивую жизнь… Жизнь которой я бы хотел жить без конца и мечтать о лучших моментах своей судьбы, забывая о том что творится сейчас …
real
The voices came back, they are my only constant.
I FW IT🔥💯 (When will someone actually care?)
This unlocks a deeply primal fear in me that I cannot put a name to
Almost loud enough to forget that my whole life ive been used, and that i lost everything that made me happy. My mom, my freinds, my hobbies, my dog, my home, i can go on and on but nothing will bring my old life back. Every day i sit and rot in my room, suffering in silence from the imense dread coming from the fact that it only gets worse from here. I use substances to drown the sorow but its all temporary. Im dieing alone and i must accept that, im gussing i wont make it passed 30
My bro, how are you?..
@DanyaPro_2022 doing better, thank you for asking
@@oklahomagoochgrabber7500 That's good to hear. Wish you all the best
I wish there were more songs like this
do you know any that are similar?
@@kesko8071 echo bravo and moon age by duster
"mbv" by my bloody valentine is an album that sometimes gives off this vibe too
@@kesko8071”goodnight dad I love you” by wishing and “I threw a rock off an overpass and killed a guy” by sign crushes motorist both have that same sad static like sound similar to this
@@kesko8071Yo La Tengo can sound like this. Songs by them that specifically remind me of this song are “Spec Bebop” and “This Stupid World”
i dont know exactly why but this reminded me of stone in focus by aphex twin
Why is it that everyone in their teens has fun socializing and it’s easy for them to make new friends and even despite the difficulties in their lives they are truly happy, but I’m constantly rotting in my room, constantly suffering from depression and anxiety, tilt of apathy, I’m a big disappointment in my family every time I have a feeling of not being brought to myself and I don’t even know about my future, I’m just an idiot who is desperately waiting for his fate and who will never wake up, living in my fantasy I imagine an ideal life but sometimes forgetting about the real one, I don’t want to die but just cease to exist
Listen to this everyday
real
real
Real
real
❤
The steering wheel feels extra light today😂😂😂😂😂
Fr(speed up abt 200)
best song on the whole album
oh my goooodd EVERYTHING IS AGAINST MEEEE
You are loved
me when the constant memory that scarred me months ago will not leave, it is constant, and for some reason will never leave, it follows me everywhere. Everywhere I look and everyone I look at reminds me of that one person :sillytime: as I am writing this, I am withstanding horrible amounts of pain
Ptsd moment
I can't imagine what it is but I'm feeling insurmountable pain too.
@D Unit we'll get thru it bro
@@paleskins lol how you doing?
@@dunit5555 hanging on wbu
this has to be the strangest form of music i've ever heard, it makes my thoughts into white noise and still sounds good
my head sound like this
Me fr
Playing S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Shadow Of Chernobyl + this song >>>>>>>>
basado
Bro...
Man i should play stalker again
I wished I had a friend i never had one i dont know why im not weird or really really ugly also im very polite and i adapt to everyones personality so they can have lots of fun with me well..... that doesnt Matter because wathever i do i always end Up alone . I never was someones favourite people have always made fun of me because im the only one with no Friends
I tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried but no nothing works i always endup alone .because of the lonliness i started to eat more and more also i stopped studing and working so as fast as i realized no one loved me my grades dropped from 9 and 10 to embarrasings 4 and 5 in conclusión my life sucks and i dont know why im still alive guys dont be like me and apreciate your Friends ( sorry for the mistakes im from Spain )
i've been there. maybe not as bad as you, but i get it. making deep connections with people can literally feel so tiresome and pointless. it can feel like going around in circles only to never have a desired relationship or friendship with them. but you're only learning from this. imagine talking to yourself at age 5. tell your younger self how much you've grown, how much you've learned throughout life and give him advice about it. i mean, 8 billion people in the world. not all are the ones you've surrounded yourself with, and i know there's at least one for you. you only need one friend for a happy life.
every day i repeat the cycle😹😹😹
I haven’t been intoxicated to this extent in a while but I do have to say this song really comes in clutch when it comes to silencing the intrusive thoughts. Like Damn the thoughts of all the inhumane things I want to do to myself just all whisk away because this music fills my head with nothing but voids and clouds. It brings me great peace
thank you for existing.
“Everything you worried about is gonna be okay” … 4:12
i cant take it anymore.
this be hitting on monday 4am, balcony and a cigarette (i wanna go back and fix everything)
This song amplifies my loneliness.
A nice touch of nostalgia and just calmness overall love it
It’s kind of weird but awesome that Duster lives in the same city as me
So You are not okay
The static in this song represents like chaos to me and then the synths represents the drive to keep exploring life
How come this is a song I mean ther e is no lyrics what is this all..
@@mariakhan3852mozart
This banger goes hard af💯‼️🔥🔥‼️(help.)
кращий трек, який я коли-небудь чула
I’ve given up at this point. You win world. You win.
I meditate to this entire album.
based and dusterpilled
i love this song, its so awesome! and its such a happy song!!!(for the love of god, end my suffering)
This feels like a "moving on" phase.
I love this song in every way
This song sounds like duster stratosphere
It sounds like dust and the stratosphere
Great naming choice
this song is so good, especially when i full volume it in my car.
the struggle is real when the duster comes out
i am so mentally sane🤪😍
I don't get why people are depressed by this song, to me it sounds like experiencing something profoundly beautiful, beyond words...
The song doesn't make people depressed, it amplifies that feeling, gives them a hollow comfort in their loneliness.
People are like: "OMG I'm so sad I'm listening to Duster"
Bro - I'm listening to it to chill after a hard day 🙄
real (i havent been able to feel happy in the longest time, i constantly abuse painkillers as a form of dopamine rush)
pure agony i love it
Просто песня, под которую хочется лежать и ничего не делать.
ну.. думаю убивать обидчиков, или же руки на себя наложить