Art & Chronic Illness
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Phew. What to even say here? I've been wanting to make this video for a long time, but also, not wanting to ever make it, ever, ever, ever. (If you know what I mean). But here we are. I've talked about some of my challenges health in the past, and some of you may know that I have dealt with chronic illness, but in this video I want to share the whole story about how I got sick, how it related to my art career, and where I'm at now. This is a long one folks, so buckle up.
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Filmed with:
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Edited by the amazing Meg Potter -- THANK YOU, MEG!!
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Disclosure:
Some of the links above are “affiliate links.” This means that if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive a small commission from the sale at no additional cost to you. This support helps me continue to be able to make videos, and take the time to link to all the art supplies & materials I use so that you guys can easily find them. I only link to products that I use personally on a regular basis, and feel comfortable recommending.
Doctors are well known for dismissing women and their health issues, pretty much medical gas lighting. I've experienced it so many times and it's very discouraging, to this day I HATE going to the doctor and have so much anxiety about it and put it off and put it off until I have no choice but to go. I'm so sorry you have gone through all this. I feel exactly how you explained towards the end, beaten down and just want to lay there. Pain and discomfort is a daily thing for me, it literally takes all my energy just to exist and do the basics to survive. Eating and drinking also creates more discomfort for hours, by the time it's gone, hours later, I'm hungry again, it's frustrating. I eat less than half of what I used to. Had a bit of a breakdown this morning, like is this really my life now? Felt sorry for myself for a few mins but know it could be worse so I try to suck it up. It's deff not an easy life to live.
I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometrial cancer by a specialist after 4 years of my own doctor telling me my symptoms were not. unusual 😭😭😭😭😭
@@radhikam2401 smmfh, I'm so very sorry to hear that.
I definitely know what you mean, my friend had her appendix burst and walked around with it for 2 days because the hospital told her it was just severe period pains. So I think a woman intuitively knows what her body needs. I hope you get some closure and find a doctor to help you 🙏🙏
@@watercolourartincapetown2919 that's horrible to hear, I hope your friend is ok. And thank you.
im a dude. when i was younger i went to the doctor and they told me i couldnt have whooping cough cuz i got the shot
we went again and they tested for stuff but they were so far up their own asses that they didnt acknowledge it coulda been whooping cough
so then gradually i get home and start having horrifying coughs followed by almost suffocation
my brother refuses to sleep in the same room cuz its a horrifying sound. theres literally no other illness that sounds like that. u cough and then its this horrible very loud suffocating gasp
so that goes on we got to a doctor it cant be whooping cough and at some point we come back and im watching a movie with my mom.
i go to the bathroom, the movies too loud, and i have a particularly bad cough and actually start suffocating. like 100% cant inhale at all.
i dont even remember if they ever acknowledged that it was undoubtedly whooping cough. iirc we went to more than one doctor.
heres another one: i went swimming in a lake and didnt shower and got jock itch. i did my own research for a while but i liked someone so i wanted it to go away. it didnt, we got all the expensive medications for it and they relieved symptoms but it didnt go away. after half a year to a year i went to see a doctor and she told me lots of times it never goes away, and then prescribed a cream that was 70$ after insurance. it barely worked at all, even for relief.
i had still been doing research, and i had already modified my diet (no carbs or starches or *anything* that feeds the bacteria, then also taking probiotics etc.), upped my shower routine to like twice a day with patting dry with separate towels and always putting socks on first, etc. well after a total of a year and a half, i found some real solutions on fucking quora.
coconut oil and apple cider vinegar.
after a year and a half of jock itch that wouldnt go away, i started washing in the shower with lots of acv, making sure not to cross contaminate, or anything like that, then putting coconut oil everywhere, along with the diet changes id already had, probiotics, and then orally taking acv and coconut oil too. i patted dry and always put socks on first and always made sure i topically had lots of coconut oil on after the shower and guess what
gone in a week or two. my doctor basically said "im a doctor, ur fucked, pay lots of money to keep getting fucked," and fucking quora shut them the fuck up. i *might* have used like scentless "harmless" baby powder type stuff too but dont quote me on that. i cleaned my shoes and stuff with athletes foot spray all the time too. but i did lots of that beforehand, the coconut oil and acv was a gamechanger and it was permanently gone within a week or two. all on my own research. if i had researched more, harder, faster, i prolly woulda found that stuff earlier but my fucking DOCTOR was fucking stupid. how do u not know that theres an easy quick natural cure for god damn motherfucking common ass JOCK ITCH. "ur prolly fucked forever" someone punch that fucker in the face so they fuckin humble themselves and actually get smart instead of just thinking they r.
moral of the story: no matter ur gender, age, personality, race, anything, lots of doctors think theyre smart cuz they retained enough regurgitated uneducated facts from books, and theyre doctors, so they know things. they fucking dont. lots of them r fucking assholes and idiots that r so far up their own ass its basically gaslighting. sure ur good at memorizing books but ur stupid. ur stupid because ur a doctor and u dont know that theres a 10$ cure for something u say is only manageable with medications that r 70$ after insurance. allegorically it just makes me wonder what the fuck else the internet knows that doctors dont.
if ur a doctor and ur offended, fucking good. humble urself. this is a problem and if ur in the field to help people then ur priority should be helping people, not feeding ur own ego.
its been like four or five years, my diet is whatever i want, and it has been for years now. no jock itch. never came back. again, it went away in a fucking week or two. after a year and a half.
last thing: i was told i have low arches at the doctor. i was like, i think it might be my foot muscles. cuz, i really dont use my foot muscles *at all*. im not sure why. that same doctor as the jock itch one, dismissed me and basically copypasted the same thing. i found out (thru my own active research) there r foot stretches, foot yoga, foot exercises, and apparently they should be able to move like hands without opposable thumbs. well see. ive already been occassionally moving my big toes side to side and they already move much better. i also found out that when u dont use muscles they can get "lost" so u basically have to start working on them and gradually ull feel more and more of them and be able to use and stretch them.
this isnt to knock doctors. we clearly all need them, but as tons of ppl here have said, being a doctor doesnt make u right, smart, or educated, and its certainly not supposed to be a dictatorship. also, im asthmatic, and the fact that i need appointments every three refills just to say hey, i still have lifelong asthma after my whole life and need another life-saving medication that is basically not even remotely abusable... thats gross. oh im out of an inhaler fuck i dont have a refill thank god my family is asthmatic (i fucking guess) because i wont need to consider paying $400 i dont have for a totally avoidable pointless ambulance ride when my doctor says oh u need to schedule an appointment EVERY THREE INHALERS. FOR ASTHMA. that one im not sure if there r doctors that dont require that or if its systemic but still.
Kendyll thank you so much for sharing this! I'm dealing with some chronic health issues. I still feel like we are just barely touching the surface of my issues, but I'm to the place where I just feel so overwhelmed realizing how much of my life will need to focus on doing the basics to take care of myself. It's overwhelming and it makes me feel selfish and frustrated that I can't do nearly what I feel I should be able to do. I don't have a full diagnosis at this point and it's hard to accept that I can't do what other people can do, and it's not about me just choosing to push through - believe me if it was, I would push through and be better. Focusing on the little steps is so important and so key. I'm trying to learn to focus on tiny triumphs in real life one day at a time. Thank you so much for sharing and opening up! I know it's not easy for you. It is encouraging!
I think a question I have for future videos is where do you get your inspiration from when you are really low. Sometimes I'm just not doing well. I know that doing some art and getting into the flow will really help. My husband will even take the kids for a few hours to give me a quiet house to myself, but I often just sit there, staring at a blank page or avoid going to my craft desk altogether because breaking through and getting started seems so hard. What did you do during those times? Did you even struggle with that once you started doing some art again?
That was a beautiful video 😭 Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for listening to my story, Audrey.💗
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I'm a graphic designer and live with MS. I work from my bed and it certainly helps a lot to hear the experience of another artist dealing with these issues. I can see how difficult this was for you to talk about, so I truly appreciate you being so open. Gentle hugs 🙂
This is really driving home for me. I had my son two years ago, was the epitome of health (I was a personal trainer), and suddenly my health rapidly declined. Joint pain, digestive issues, psoriasis, the list goes on. I still don't have an answer because any time I go to a specialist they tell me it's just post partum stuff, or my most recent Rheumatologist told me "to do more yoga". And I am wanting to quit searching because it's soul-crushing and it makes me feel insane. But your story gives me hope that maybe I will find my answer. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal story.
Don't give up. I had fibromyalgia with migraine for 9 years before it was diagnosed. I almost gave up going to doctors, and it just so happened that a locum doctor was in the surgery one day, and was the only one who really took me seriously. Just keep going until you get someone to listen to you. ♥️
Beautiful video 😭😭😭 Thanks for sharing ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your honesty & vulnerability. I’m an aspiring illustrator and it really puts things in perspective. We love you🥰💕
Thank you so much, Brandon! Sorry I took so long to reply, but I really appreciate it!💗
This video came up in my feed and I’m so happy it did and I watched. I’ve been dealing with chronic illness for 5 years. It’s been terrible. I had to leave my photography business working way too many hours and totally change every aspect of my life. It’s a work in progress. Hearing your story is inspiring. Thank you. New fan.
Thank you for sharing your story and for your courageous vulnerability, Kendyll. I wish you all the gentle, kind, and accepting hearts in response to your opening up. Your resilience is remarkable! I look up to you and I really appreciate your wise life observations- in addition to appreciating your art. I value your thoughts; it is incredibly helpful to hear, from you especially, that knowing your own limits and ways to work within them will lead to better health (and possibly better career victories). Thank you again for the gift of your sharing your story.
Thankyou so much for sharing your story !You gave me hope today mixed with a few tears. Im so happy you are able to overcome this 💗 Hopefully it will stay dormant for the rest of your life!
Do you have any videos on how to watercolor from bed?
It's such a shame you were treated that way!
I am vegan and it would not come to my mind to judge you for eating animal products for medical reasons
Hi Kendall
I was diagnosed with mast-cell and Pots syndrome after years of not being believed and dismissed by doctors.
And I am so sorry you are going through this.
Unfortunately this type of experience is too common. Doctors dismissing how someone feels instead of admitting they couldn't find an answer. Especially when it comes to chronic illnesses. Thank you for sharing ❤
This video was wonderful, heartbreaking, and very inspirational. Thanks for sharing your story.
Just over here bawling my eyes out. If there’s one person you helped by making this video it was me. I can’t believe how similar our experiences are. Thanks for being vulnerable and talking about something very personal and heavy. 💕
I know when she was talking about being invalidated by doctors, I can completely understand and relate. It took me a long time to find even some of my answers and I am still searching for others. So if you are on that road I completely understand as well.
@@melsgalleria Thanks friend, things are slowly improving and I’m getting better at coping too. Hope you’re doing well today!
It has been amazing finding the carnivore community on UA-cam. So much healing is possible if you eat meat and fat and keep learning. Red light, eating all your calories earlier in the day, walks at sunrise and sunset.
Thank you for sharing! I can totally identify when you spoke about your friends wishing for even a day to feel normal... just existing with chronic illness and chronic pain is so difficult. I know when I make art I feel so much more at peace but even the act of sitting there working on it can be hard on my body. ❤️
I rarely comment, but you know how big fan of you I am! Sending a lot of love and hugs in your direction! Amazing video!
That would have been me in years past. I developed arthritis around age 40 and since it's not rheumatoid, there are no definitive tests. No I haven't been actually diagnosed. I have the pain for sure. I have the MRI to prove my back is heading in the wrong direction. What I appreciate in your video is the honest way you describe the ups and downs of chronic illness, physical and emotional.
Thank you for your honesty, really thank you. I can relate to what you said because I am an author and an artist and I've got severe fibromyalgia and a serious herniated disc. In this very moment I'm not feeling well at all so I know I may sound messy.
Basically what I want to say is that art, along with any other meaningful activity, can save our life, as it gives not only some pain-free hours but also at least a glimpse of transcendence, which is what we all need in this chaotic, harsh, contemporary society. It works for me, I see it works for you and hopefully it works for those who see our art. This is what pushes me when I'm sick, which is often rather than not.
When your phone beeped and my phone beeped with a message from my mom 📱
This is exactly what I’ve been feeling about sharing personal information, like this year my birthday coincided with the start of lockdown. So I shared that it was my birthday. Which was a first for me... and sharing more about our personal story can be so nerve wracking. Because the online word isn’t always kind.
Thank you for being brave enough to share, and for creating this safe space where people are able to feel human.
Your story is deeply inspiring, I’m sorry you went through that, I think in a way it explains your patience and depth of empathy for your followers. You’re really incredible for preserving through all of that. My siblings both had lymphoma, so watching them go through tests and treatments really makes me appreciate my health.
Our Health forces us to take a step back and prioritize what is truly important.
Kindest regards
Nabeelah
Aww, our phones are in sync, just like us! 👯♀️ And glad to know I'm not the only Ron Swanson here. Sharing anything truly personal or uncertain feels so nerve-wracking. I'm trying to get better at it, but it's a challenge.
Your observation definitely hits home for me -- I am not a naturally patient person, but going through this did help me to become more willing to work within my own limitations. And it definitely expanded empathy. I know so many people (friends, colleagues) had no real idea what I was going though at the time, and I always remind myself of that. No matter what someone's life looks like on the outside, we have no idea what they're really going through.
That's so scary about your siblings -- are they ok? In some ways the only thing that I can imagine that would be worse than dealing with health struggles myself is watching my loved ones struggle with them.
Always so moved and grateful for your voice in the conversation, Nabeelah!💗
Kendyll Hillegas yes! They’re both perfectly healthy now! My brother actually just found out he and his wife are having a baby .
18 years ago the doctors told him that wouldn’t be possible
So this year has brought its own share of miracles.
So glad I found your channel through Mira!
I hope more people find this video, so that they have someone to empathize with. Especially as I’ve heard of a few creatives who swapped full time employment for art or design so that they could work from home during their recovery.
You’re a great person. So glad that you are feeling better. Chronic illness is such a difficult thing.
Oh my god! Thank you so much for doing this video!! I have been going through something very similar this year, started in February. So many different symptoms, and so many Doctors would test me for different things and test results would come negative - so I can totally relate!!
But when you just said at 28:09 it was like a god sent message. I have been watching my lifestyle and did some changes which eventually made me feel better - last night however I had a small glass of wine but almost full this morning I felt like I was hit by the bus and a lot of those symptoms came back. It makes so much sense now!! Thank you again!! 🤗🤗
Wow! Thank you for your honesty. You have helped me so much. I am so grateful I found you on UA-cam. I was feeling very discouraged. You have given me hope.
I'm only a few min in to the video, but wanted to express how much I relate to what you went through. I have a chronic condition too and it took me 5+ doctors and a lot of self research before I found one willing to investigate the pain further than just "it's not a pre-defined disease so it must be in her head" conclusion (I had one tell me that "well, you can't die from it" and sent me out the door once).
I also applaud you for opening up about this. It is a topic I don't like the idea of sharing either, even though I wish more people would share. I'm glad you found your way. :)
Thank you so much for sharing. You are an enormous inspiration! I truly appreciate your heartfelt conversation about something so personal. Respect and love for you Kendyll. 💕
Thank you for sharing. Just found this video on a Google search. It helped me today ❤
I feel you. Thank you for this video :) it’s so hard to not be believed. This happened to me too. Sending hugs 🤗
Thank you for sharing! Sharing our experiences with chronic illnesses is so important. If it can make even a small difference in someone elses life it was worth it. 💗💗
I also have chronic illnesses one is cerebral palsy that isn't progressive it is spastic diplegia and I have neuropathy which I just found out I was born with it also this year it has gotten worse within months. I love all kinds of art I love how the different forms of art express your feelings and give memories of how you've felt before. I sing and dance learning how to draw and paint and i write poetry.
Wow what a video. I teared up while watching this video. Thank you for your vulnerability, thank you for your beautiful artwork, and thank you to your sister.
(Also, vegan here. I think it is messed up for people to judge other's diets, so I'm sorry you were nervous about receiving hate in regards to being mostly plant-based. I think that it is fantastic that being mostly plant-based has been apart of your remission. Sending so much love to you.)
Sending you so much love, Kendyll! 💗
Right back to you, Fabiola!💞
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this, even though it was uncomfortable for you to do so. I also have MCAS, and some other stuff, and so I could really relate to everything you talked about regarding your experience of illness and the trauma of dealing with doctors along the way, art as an escape and the difficulty of accepting such extreme limitations. I really appreciate how much you offer the art community here on UA-cam generally, and I think this was a meaningful contribution to the spoonie community as well. I hope your remission continues unendingly (because MCAS can go eff itself).
Thankyou Kendyll that was beautiful of your heart to share this!!!💝
Kendyll, I have been here since the beginning and no matter what you’ve gone through you’ve done it with grace girl! As a nurse aid dealt with C diff with one specific patient that I was really close to so I understand all about it. I messed up my back really bad in 06, my health went down hill from there. I too have and in a remission period from that but not from other autoimmune issues/Chiari and Ehlers Danlos syndrome. I feel like I am now where you were when you were in bed and on the couch doing art. I do have a studio but can only be in there for a few hours before needing to get somewhere comfortable due to pain. Thank you for reminding me that I can do only what I can do and that it’s enough.
Much love and gentle hugs. Keep talking, it helps not just you but others, use that beautiful voice and soul. Give the girls and yourself many hugs!
Thank you for this video! This can help so many people going though similar situations.
I've been struggling with some health issues but not as intense as yours were (You're so brave 😭💛).
Drawing and other projects makes me push through the pain days.
It's hard when something goes on for months and months before getting better, and stops you from doing things you want. Makes you so vunerable.
I guess doing what you can and thinking one day at a time helps.
Sending a huge hug to you!! Thank you for putting so much trust in us, I know how hard it is to talk about things like these. Been there too.
I'm also at a point here right now where I want to start to focus on art ... It's not a chronic illness here but some irreparable damage from a chemo in my childhood that makes it almost impossible for me finding work ... For a long time I tried and I tried to get help from the job center here, but all they'd do is block and mislead me ... and now after the economic breakdown due to C**** I don't see any chances anymore at all for me to find a place to work at, so I'm thinking ok - grab what you have and start to build something on your own ...
All my best wishes to you that this thing of yours stays dormant in its cave and never comes back again!
I recently got diagnosed with hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome, which often cooccurs with MCAS. I have a tentative diagnosed of MCAS also. It's a tough condition, and feeling grateful for your vulnerability sharing. I often have trouble making art because my symptoms are disabling at times. I'm grateful to other chronically ill people like you for talking about how to manage chronic illness and doing the things we love. Also medical gaslighting is very traumatic, and I'm sorry you also went through this. Sending you a lifetime of healing and moments of relief
Thank you for sharing! You are really a powerwoman 😀👍
Thank you for your vulnerability, it’s helping me to be strong right now, and feeling less alone. I can relate, I’m young and currently in a wheelchair and we are trying to figure out why. I’ve spent years trying to get a diagnosis. Novel writing and digital art are big stress relievers for me, even though at times I have to take breaks from them due to health issues. Your story is teaching me that taking breaks is good and listening to the body and mind is key. Keep on making meaningful content, you’re helping to make this world a better place. ❤
Thank you for taking the time to share this. I have a chronic illness and while right now I am doing well, I too live in an awareness of the possibility of a return of my symptoms. My story is not the same as yours, but hearing how you have coped, and found purpose in your life is encouraging. Keep moving forward and I hope the best for you. 😊
Hi Kendyll, YT suggested this video to me and I think this is my first video on your channel. I’ve been creative all my life but always on the side and mostly following patterns (crochet/knitting) or examples, whilst I pursued a ‘regular career’. Last year I started getting tension headaches that never fully went away and I’ve been dealing with it from every angle possible, physical, mental, emotional. It became obvious to me that I needed to put creativity first and finally start listening to my heart. I am taking steps to become an illustrator. But I am still dealing with symptoms, still have headaches, and have been dealing with tinnitus that comes and goes as my tension changes. I’ve been doing a program for chronic pain over the past 4 months that is completed this week. I love how you talk about acceptance. I have also been fighting it, trying everything and anything I could to get better, ‘back to normal’ as fast as possible. I am now at a point where I can see that I can live with what symptoms I have, that I can learn not to pay them as much attention which will make them more bearable and also helps my nervous system to calm down (which is where chronic pain also reduces, as it has a lot to do with an overactive nervous system) which means my symptoms will also decrease. And I know now that I need to fully accept that I may always have to deal with some degree of these symptoms, that there is no going ‘back to normal’ for me, maybe I can feel better than this, even feel pretty much normal, but I will always need to manage myself so I don’t go into overdrive again. It makes me hesitant about trying to be an artist (or anything really), because I feel like I need to be 100% before I can embark on something like that, but that just doesn’t work. I need to do this for myself, I’m definitely not going to be feeling better if I keep holding myself back like this. The only way I’m going to feel any better is if I do what is right for me. Thank you for sharing, I will be following you from now on!
That "Ron Swanson vibe" is also known as a desire for privacy, which is good. Great, in fact...it means you're not going to make the dumb move of sharing _every-_ thing online, which too many people do these days. Am glad to see a young person with some sense.
As for the rest of the video, the only compliments I could give you are what others already have. As someone with chronic conditions myself, the last few years have been a struggle to adapt to my limitations...& trying to create in spite of it all.
Thank you for this vulnerability and sharing
I am so sorry that you experienced the invalidation of doctors out there. I know I actually quit going to doctors for quite a few years because doctors continued to invalidate me. Eventually I did start going to doctors again and I was able to finally get some things diagnosed. Sadly I wasn't diagnosed with many of them until my 30's. It can be so frustrating when you are feeling miserable and trying your best to find an answer to get better and no one believes you. Even my family didn't believe me, they always told me I was too young to be feeling the level of pain I was describing. Now I have learned that while it isn't normal it is not uncommon for people with my health problems. I am so glad that you eventually found your answer and found a way to improve your health. I would love to hear more about your experiences, I know most of my art friends have some sort of chronic health problems of their own.
Hits me deep, I have a few chronic illnesses and it’s pretty hard to balance life and my art business especially since getting sick. Great video and thx for sharing your story.
Kenny, baby girl, I've loved you so much since before you were born. Your talent has always amazed me.
You may not feel brave, but brave is what brave does, and this vid is one of the bravest things I've ever seen. I'm praying you will be continually blessed with better health. I love you ♡
Signing off with the moniker YOU gave me,
Suema
Such a heartfelt video, thank you for sharing your experience and being so honest and brave. It really moved me, and it's a great inspiration for dealing with any hardship, whether phsycal or emotional.
Kendyll, thank you so much for sharing your story and being brave, it is scary to share this kind of personal information. Even though you don’t have the “5 or 10 tips for...” kind of video on this topic, it is full of advice and hope. I struggle with an auto-immune desease (was undiagnosed most of my life and found out what is wrong after our twins were born) and just like your video’s on motherhood I feel very supported and less alone because of how you are sharing your story. I feel like somehow there is this taboo on some health-issues and I believe opening up in a way that is respectful and honest (like you are opening up about this) is so helpful and meaningful. ❤️
Wow im pretty shocked honestly bc i have MCAS and ehlers danlos syndrome. And i totally hate heat too, it makes me fell so sick/lightheaded. Cannabidiol and oxygen therapy pretty much neutralized my MCAS and improved my fatigue so much so now i only have to deal eith EDS and chronic pain. It’s such a relief to have energy again, im very glad for you
I hope you don’t mind me asking 1 year later but I have a confirmed h eds, and what I suspect to be a severe MCAS, what is the oxygen therapy your mentioning
Great video and thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is hard enough trying to be an artist (and a mom), so I see also dealing with a chronic illness and pain as one of the most brave things one can do. You’re very strong and I hope you stay on remission forever.
Thank you, Natalia. I hope so too! Even if I don't though, I don't necessarily feel brave, but I trust myself to be determined and to keep taking what steps I can. I would never (ever) wish suffering on another person, but in my case it was a powerful teacher.
Thank you Kendyll for sharing this! You’re so strong and your path is inspiring! Sending you much love 💗
Ive had the diff too. Its terrible.
How lovely I hope you stay well xx
Much love to you for reaching out to help others by your experience and struggle. ❤️
Thank you so much! Reaching out to connect and support others is what gives me life!💗
❤️💖💓💖❤️
I am just starting art again...thank you for sharing, it’s so familiar❤️
Wonderful! That's so great to hear. And thank you for sharing.💗
Thank you.
I’m so happy for you!
Hey Kendyll! Thanks for sharing your sharing your story & journey. The only reason I started to make art was because I got sick with fibromyalgia, ptsd & depression. I had never thought I’d be able to make art & was trained as a youth worker and working for a church when I got really sick so I ended up having to leave my job. I’m still living with the symptoms of my conditions but making art has been massive in my recovery. I’m at the stage where I’m actually selling my work but I wanted to just say thank you so much for sharing your story & allowing yourself to be vulnerable in this. 💞
Thank you so much, Colzo. That's so interesting to hear that you had a similar starting point, and that art-making has been therapeutic for you the way it was for me. I appreciate you sharing your experience!💗
ColzoArt, I have what you have and I can barely do anything. How did you get better?
@@justtubingby129 I think it’s a lot of what Kendyll was saying, time & acceptance. I’ve had EMDR therapy for the ptsd which was a massive help for me. Making art was a form of therapy for me while I waited for the emdr.
ColzoArt, I used to exhibit. Now, I can barely get out of bed.
ColzoArt check out meatrx UA-cam channel....so many amazing stories how food healed them.
Thank you for sharing🥰.
I have a similar experience with health. After more than five years of suffering, I was diagnosed with ME/CFS syndrome. I was so on the floor that I couldn’t even get out of bed.
After fundamental life changes, I am currently doing a part-time job and have a wonderful family (two beautiful daughters) standing by my side.
I make jewelry for hobbie and occasional sales, which I hope becomes my full-time job.
Wish you all best, Simon
Thanks for sharing this story, I’m sorry you have to go through this. I know how hard it is to get any medical professional to believe you; I have been struggling with some type of autoimmune disease for the majority of my life and have never gotten a diagnosis and have given up at this point and just manage my symptoms as best I can. I also work as an artist (and a musician as well) and it becomes difficult to work when my severe eczema flares up and my fingers won’t bend. It’s hard to admit that we need to step away from what we love sometimes to get our physical health back on track and our minds into a good place. Keep up the great work and just sharing this story encourages so many.
Dear Kendyll, thank you so much for this informative video - it was indeed both very helpful and encouraging - at least to me. I too have a chronic autoimmune disease that also entails widespread pain, severe fatigue, feeling flu-like sick constantly and many other debilitating symptoms. When it is feasible for me to draw and paint (on better days), it is kind of a transcendent experience in which I slide into this so-called flow state. This can sometimes take my mind away from feeling so sick for a moment. I may never become well enough to be able to work professionally with art and illustrations or work at all again - but I have come to terms with that. Thank you so much Kendyll for creating this platform and for sharing your skills, knowledge, and life experience. You are indeed an incredible skilled artist and a great inspiration to me and many others. So please keep making more videos. 🙂👍🙏💪❤
Thank you so much for taking the time and vulnerability to share this story. I relate to a lot of it and am still working through how much I can do with my creative work & feeling like it’s not enough or like too much time has been lost. Your perspective and empathy are encouraging & I’m so glad that you’ve gotten answers and some substantial relief. I think we hold the memory of medical trauma in our bodies & I hope you’ll also be able to continue releasing that and moving through your experience more and more with time. Best wishes to you & your family. 💛
ive been there too, Kendyll. Had to get my life back on track after being seriously ill with iron deficiency anemia for a few years: half my hair fell out, my nails were peeling off, even my teeth started getting loose. I was a weird grey-green colour, and had recurrent pneumonia that i just couldn't shake. I never stopped having a heavy period, for almost 2 years. It got so bad I would run out of breath just walking from a chair to the sofa. Once i had my treatments and surgery, though, i was lucky that the bounce back was unbelievably quick! I wish everyone here struggling with health issues a good recovery.
I happened to stubble onto your art channel by this video and I find it really interesting and familiar. There were moments in your video that I could identify with. After years of battling a multitude of symptoms and doctors basically gaslighting me saying I was wanting attention or need psychiatric care for anxiety, I had one doctor believe me and I was finally diagnosed with young Parkinson's disease because I was responsive to medications and all my symptoms were there. The other previous doctors didn't think of Parkinson's because of my age, I just turn 40. Since then, 2016 to now my health has progressed attacking my internal systems. I stopped working and it got really bad and I also turned to art but more as therapy. Lately I'm struggling with doing art. I used to do it several times a week if not daily now it'll be weeks sometimes months before I return to it. Did you have any times we're you wanted to give up art mad how did you come back to it? I know you said little steps, but how did the desire to do it come back?
I totally understand. Some Dr's are so prideful. One can go broke even with the best insurance for all the tests. God bless you sweetie!
This is also my experience, except that I am not yet diagnosed and it's been over 10 years. Big hugs ❤❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing. I was recently diagnosed after several years and it is so helpful to hear stories from other people, and especially artists. It's really hard to stay creative while sick.
Thank you for sharing. I’m not an artist but found coloring as a way to deal with my chronic pain. I feel like when we share, it helps us and others. You helped me, so thank you and I wish the best for you.
You are so brave to open up and share your experiences with micas. I know this will help many others who are dealing with chronic illness. I spent 14 years looking for answers and last year was diagnosed with Mesenteric Artery Ligament Syndrome and had surgery in January of this year. Two years ago, I took a watercolor class and loved it. I had painted in high school, many years ago and found it so relaxing. I then added colored pencils bc I live in the desert and it gets to hot to watercolor. This has been my recourse for dealing with chronic pain and issues that MALS caused. I love immersing myself in my work. Again, thanks for sharing your story. (My granddaughter is named Penelope,).
I know this is a bit late, but thank you so much for sharing your story. You were in no way obligated to, but I feel like by doing so you have helped so many others. Love your videos. Thank you.
Thanks you so much for sharing! My sister has MAD as well and I have an autoimmune disorder as well and we both had very similar experience with doctors.
I also struggle with chronic illness. I found myself nodding my head at a lot of what you said. I went through a lot of similar things as a 25 year old diagnosed with autoimmune disease. over a year waiting for diagnosis, lost relationships, pushing beyond my limits to prove something, loosing career, not knowing how it will come out of remission, struggling with my identity as an artist and performer, and more. It is always interesting to me to hear the stories of other creatives who deal with chronic illness as I find it encouraging and it helps some of us feel less alone. Many of us prefer to keep silent about our struggles, perhaps this will help others to open up about their struggles.
Boy do I relate to all this. I am a giant ball of chronic conditions. So many of your symptoms sound so familiar, though mine come from difference sources. I have interstitial cystitis, a back injury from almost 20 years ago that has resulted in multiple surgeries and untreatable nerve damage, excema, type 2 diabetes, allergies that cause tinnitus , and plantar fasciitis. Oh and anxiety and depression. It’s fun.
I swear I’ve seen every doctor out there, tried every diet, every supplement, multiple types of PT... several of my conditions have opposing treatments. I have PT for my back flare up the foot pain, and the diets for diabetes and IC are complete opposites. (One is low carb, high fiber, the other is bland white carbs to avoid irritation.) It’s such a rollercoaster.
Dear Kendyll, for me it is wonderful how your little Penny offered you the opportunity to feel well again by being pregnant. Also, I think that your strength and your determination to certain habits are helping you everyday so that you can live a healthier and happier life. You and Penny managed to control and to diminished the illness! Your daughter is such a beautiful gift for you in so many ways. Never be afraid about the illness coming back, because I think we all are exposed to unpredictable changes in our life, so we have to enjoy our present as you are doing. My baby brought art to me back too. And it was back then when I started watching your videos and learning from you so much, not only about art but also about being a woman who works freelance. I am really grateful to you both!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s always good to be reminded to work on what’s achievable rather than wishing you could do more. I have had an undiagnosed chronic illness for several years and one of the hardest things is that outwardly I seem well. Without a label, it’s so so hard to make family and friends understand why I can’t commit to things and why I don’t work. It’s hard but I’m trying to let go of the obligation I feel to others and the anxiety about what they might think, so that when I have better days I can really focus on creating. When you’re chronically ill you have to put yourself first when you can. Anyway, I hope you keep feeling better - it sounds like you’re doing everything you can to stay healthy so fingers crossed 🙂
Thank you for making this video! I am in the "undiagnosed" phase of an inflammatory chronic illness. I started learning to draw just as I started getting sick, and it felt like I could at least trust my art to improve, even if I couldn't trust my body to get better. But now I am sick enough that I can't draw as much as I used to, and that's been really disheartening. So I really felt relieved when you said you stopped drawing for a while, because maybe it means that I can draw more again sometime in the future, like how you were able to.
Wow. You are amazing! Thank you for being so candid. Sending you love!
This is more helpful than you know! Thank you for sharing! I know it's a difficult subject to talk about.
Kendyll, Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was obviously not easy for you but that sort of vulnerability is a sign of true strength and bravery! I know your sharing will help encourage so many people. And I am so glad your health has been better and hope it stays that way for years to come!
I contracted chemical pneumonia at university in the printmaking class. The ventilation there was still a work in progress. My doctor silenced me because the university is the lifeline of the town. Today, I live with M.E./fibromyalgia, CFS, PTSD... I can barely do anything. Yes, the doctors claimed it was depression. I've never been depressed and I've always kept busy. Now, being a PWD, I have much reason to be depressed. But even though it's justified, you cannot say you're feeling depressed, due to your situation, because then the doctors will just say, "Aha, told you that you had depression". You cannot win against Quacks because they have the title and you don't.
I have all the same diagnosis as you, and boy it sucks so much. Im sorry you are dealing with it too
Ellen Wilberg, we should be compensated, at least, for them causing lifelong distress and anxiety. They used lock autistic people in mental institutions. All this, a result of ignorance. Ignorance has caused much harm. Misdiagnosing should be investigated and not excused as lack of knowledge. It's not carelessness, either. It's a dangerous trait to misuse the Dr. title.
@@justtubingby129 I agree! And more doctors need to be humble and say "I dont know" because they cant possibly know everything! They often have a god complex I think..
Ellen Wilberg 🌸
Justtubingby try a low to zero carb diet.
I REALLY appreciate you sharing personal things like this! It brings light to how people overcome challenges and how art ties into that. It’s admirable to be so honest.
Thank you for this video. I told you some of this on Instagram but I started making art because I have chronic pain from my Spina Bifida (and also some of the allergy/bathroom symptoms you have, but they’re because my leg paralysis also extends to part of my digestive system). Very few other careers work for me with my limitations, plus it’s hard for me to get jobs in the first place because I look like I’m not even as physically capable as I am. So, I HAVE to work for myself or family (my aunt is an artist and my cousin has her own store and they’ve offered to sell my art prints when I’m ready.) But I worry because of my weird unreliable work schedule and because my disability has affected the way I see the world, which more often than not shows up in my art in a melancholy way, and I don’t know how viable that is as a salable art style, but it’s who I am so I have to try. You being vulnerable and honest with people about your struggles is going to help a lot of people, myself included. You don’t have to have all the answers. It’s just helpful to know that someone else is going through something similar and still making an art career work.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Laura. And thank you for the reminder that I don't need to have all the answers. I think that still comes up for me because when I felt so lost, I was desperate for someone to help me find my way out of the woods, and that feeling of uncertainty and desperation is still close to the surface. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you found even a little bit of encouragement/connection here. You mention being concerned about a strange/unreliable work schedule -- that was definitely a struggle for me in the beginning too. I just didn't trust myself to be able to turn in assignments on time. I think having almost a full year where I regularly turned out work gave me a little more confidence. For me, creating even on days when I couldn't get out of bed, was still usually possible because it helped me forget the pain. But I know that's not the case for everyone. It might be that taking on private commissions, or selling art prints or licensing might be a better fit than doing something with really tight turnarounds like editorial. One great thing about the art world and especially a creative career right now is that it is hugely varied and there are lots of ways to approach it. Keep in touch, please, and feel free to message me if you ever want to bounce ideas off someone. Sending love. 💗
Kendyll Hillegas Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your life experiences, for creating a feeling of not being alone in hard times and for creating the most wholesome comment section I have seen in ages. Thank you for this safe place in this weird world we live in today.
In light of this video I wanted to also thank you for your Skillshare class 'the scientific method', because I have grown SO much from it, and got to know myself and my past better. You are a true inspiration!
Much love and respect from a fellow illustrator, and person living with MCAS. Getting a diagnosis is *almost* impossible here in the UK, and beyond taking antihistamines daily, and eliminating triggers in my diet and lifestyle, there's not much more I can do. Stay well
Thank you so much for making this video Kendyll
Dear Kendyll,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't imagine all the pain that you have been through but I think you are a very brave, incredibly strong and inspiring person.
I have a chronic lung disease and although I am managing it quite well at the moment, my childhood was spend in and out of the hospital with severe asthmatic attacks.
I am glad that I got a lot better when I grew up, took my meds and avoided the triggers. It is fairly under control now but when I do have an attack it takes me so much time to get back to normal again. I have been at my most sick as a child, so I can't know how it would have affected me if I was just as sick now like I was back then, but I can imagine how powerless and scared you must have felt. I remember those strong emotions as a young girl in the hospital.
That said, I also have been the person watching a family member get sicker and sicker. My dad had been chronically ill for most part of his life and was bedridden. His illness started out when I was young and it was the same one I had but got way worse throughout his life. And on top of that he got so much more other kinds of chronic illnesses. The doctors would call him a miracle because there was so much wrong in his body that they could not understand why he still kept on living. It was also that it took years to get several diagnosis established.
Eventually he also got cancer and died in July 2014. Anyway, before I dwell off... the thing I want to say to you is that my dad was one hell of a fighter and refused to give up. I see that same energy in you. I took care of my dad almost my entire life, and I know there have been moments when he felt like he couldn't go on anymore, but the love for life and his family was his fuel. I think your sister has also been that fuel for you in a way. I think she saw that strength in you as well. Even though you couldn't always see it. I'm so glad to hear your family has your back.
I don't know if my story makes any sense at all, but I just wanted to let you know that I think you are so strong and inspiring to share this. I have seen and experienced my fair share of chronic illnesses (my mother in-law also died of ALS last year) and it takes a strong person to talk so bravely about that!
Thank you so much for opening up and for sharing your story!
Much love to you!
Thanks for the video. It is hard to share this I know. I was about to share just a few things in this comment, but decided against it for now, so I know the value the insight you provided.
You are very brave for sharing this. Thank you for that.
Thanks for sharing. I admire how you strive not to have negative scripts. I can't thank you enough without quoting entire paragraphs of what you said. But "we make the road by walking with faithful steps. "
We are all imperfect, but beautiful just the same. 🤗💖
You are so welcome! Really happy to hear it connected for you.💗
Thank you for sharing this, ♥️♥️♥️
I don't have a chronic illness, but I feel like every time I hear a story like yours I grow a little more as an empathetic human. I am such a huge fan of yours - whether you're "doing art" on screen or not - and I love the long videos, too! Thank you thank you thank you.