DOWNSIDES TO EXPAT LIFE | Confessions of an Australian expat in Amsterdam
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- Опубліковано 13 чер 2024
- Being an expat & living abroad is an amazing privilege BUT it’s far from being perfect! 🙃 In this video, I spill the beans on some of the challenges/downsides that I have experienced as an expat since moving from Sydney to Amsterdam more than 1 year ago.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Intro
02:02 Missing out on things
03:58 Growing apart from friends
07:26 Feeling stuck between 2 places
10:36 Short/long-term financial impact
14:32 Starting from the beginning again
18:00 Final comments
****
LET’S BE FRIENDS
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⊹ / leesa.yu
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ABOUT ME
Welcome to my channel! I'm an Australian expat living in Amsterdam. I moved here with my husband in October 2020, and make videos about expat life in the Netherlands.
TAGS
expat experience, living in amsterdam, amsterdam expat, australian in amsterdam, moving to amsterdam, moving to the netherlands, asian in amsterdam, asian australian youtuber, day in my life in amsterdam, expat learning curve, pros and cons of expat life, pros and cons of living abroad, moving abroad, living overseas, living abroad good or bad, life in holland, life in the netherlands, honest truth expat life, moving overseas, downsides of expat life
#lifeinamsterdam #expatlife #amsterdamexpat
This is an honest conversation and I'm so glad that you guys share your experiences. For us that are starting our lives in the Netherlands, these chats helps! Perhaps some of us will be able to contribute to this and also help others find their way and deal with the the worries and emotions.
What a lovely comment - thanks for sharing your thoughts and also the positive vibes 🥰
Leesa, Thank you so much for sharing your pov on expat life throughout this past months, it really helps! i'm planning to live abroad for a while now and your honesty is refreshing. It seems like the over glamourized view of things is all around on socials. Have a great xmas and new years!
Definitely - all the Instagram photos and reels and highlights result in a very skewed idea of what life is like as an expat! Good luck with your plans and happy holidays to you too!
Wow, 20 minutes flew by but I can say it was really interesting. I've also relocated to Amsterdam this year but was already living as an expat in a way different environment/culture. There are downsides to moving out from the comfort zone but it is something that helps us evolve, expand our boundaries and mature. Take care guys and hopefully you can travel "home" for Christmas.
Absolutely agree! I love the person that I’m becoming, and wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else! We will see what the situation is like next Christmas but in no rush to visit home ☺️
Amazing video! Definitely my favorite!
Thank you Leesa for all the genuine words. I can so relate to every of them. I had a financial setback as well moving here recently which has given me great anxiety. Your video made me feel a lot better!!
Thanks for sharing, and I’m very sorry to hear about your financial setback! Moving abroad is a steep learning curve and I hope you overcome some of the challenges you’ve experienced so far. So glad to hear my video made you feel better! 🧡
The best channel with regards to expat life in Amsterdam. Thank you for being real.
🥰🤍
Hey Leesa, I loved your insightful analysis of expat life. I live for 20 years in another country than where I was born. And yes it takes a lot of energy to adapt and integrate. Now I did not move outside my timezone so for you it is even more difficult to keep connecting with the "world-you-know" ! I do feel like a "grens-geval" : a person in between. I would give an advise to any candidate expat: If you LOVE your life at the place you were born.. don't leave! Because you will keep comparing and finding things that will keep giving you bad sentiments. You got to have the mindset to indeed be willing to start again! Reset your life! If you feel super strong connected to your friends and family: Don't go.. If you're super religious and have strong principles: DON'T go!
If your move is based only on financial promises: DON'T GO!!!!!! You will not be happy!
But if you like to gain life experience, If you like new points of view, If you are up for the challenge and overall have a positive and even more flexible mind.. you can try :-)
Thank you for sharing your very valuable perspective! I think that is really good advice. Moving abroad is certainly not for everyone, as you just stated. It can be very rewarding but only if you're willing to embrace the experience with a fully open mind.
20 years is a long time to live away from your home country, so I assume you must be enjoying your second home and are happy with your decision! Thanks again for sharing your advice and wishing you a Merry Christmas too!
Wow, what honest insights! I completely empathise with everything you said, having lived abroad for a good chunk of my life! It's so important to talk about the downsides, instead of just glamourising everything.
Thanks for your comment and glad a lot of what I said resonated with you!!
Just love your videos! Thanks for being so honest. I’m about to move to the Netherlands and all the points you shared are definitely good food for thought for any soon to be expat
Glad you found this helpful! Good luck with your move to the Netherlands!
👏 thank you so much for another great video. It's such a help to get a real inside. 💜
Glad you found it helpful!
Love how balanced this vlog is! Also how generalized it is and relatable to other expats! Filipino expat in Japan here for around 8 years now. And I’m thinking about living in Melbourne or Amsterdam. Melbourne was amazing when I travelled there so I wanna try living there next. It’s interesting to see an Aussie’s perspective on expat life!
Glad to hear this resonated with you! Tough choice - both Melbourne and Amsterdam are very cool cities ☺️ I have to say the quality of life in Melbourne will be generally better! Good luck!
@@LeesaYu thank you for replying!! I hope I do experience that quality of life in Melbourne
Thank you for your honesty, I need to really think about this problems
Hope it helps you! But honestly every choice has its own downsides, and these ‘bad parts’ get easier over time too ☺️ good luck with your journey!
Thank you Leesa so much for this video. I started following you from the video of living costs in Amsterdam right before I moved here and it has helped me a lot! This is my second month living in Amsterdam and I have to say the biggest challenge I feel is making new friends. Especially now with the covid measures, it's only possible to explore the city on the weekends while I want to spend that time catching up with my old friends. Still trying to make a good balance and build a new life here.
Thanks for commenting and sharing your experience so far. I really know where you are coming from! It’s really hard to meet new people and make friends when you first arrive. All I can say is that it takes time and plenty of effort. I’ve been here for 1 year and I’m still figuring out how to nurture and grow the new friendships I’ve made here, while not totally abandoning my old friendships in Australia. Highly recommend connecting with people via Bumble BFF or even sometimes Instagram :) wishing you the best of luck with settling into Amsterdam! And feel free to ask me anything via Instagram if you ever need to ☺️
I'm already having a hard time meeting my friends as someone born in The Netherlands, I can only imagine what it is like for someone who's new here during these times. Hopefully after lockdown things will open up a bit more and gives people more opportunities to meet friends. Hope you enjoy it here!
Indeed it is so difficult to meet new people because of COVID and the lockdowns. People generally tend to stick to their immediate circle during these times. Thanks for your lovely message of support!
As someone who's considering spending a semester abroad when I start studying again, I appreciate you making this.
Glad this helped and I hope you get to spend a semester abroad as planned! A lot of the things I spoke about apply more strongly to people who stay away for the long term so don’t let these reasons hold you back
Ciao Leesa I can fully understand what are you going through moving abroad, it was the same for me when I moved in Australia, we miss you so much guys!
Yes I’m sure you could relate to many of the points I said, just in reverse! Miss you guys too and hope you are loving your new home!
Oh you so hit the nail! missing the important moments with family and friends is the hardest part for me. Like missing your wedding and seeing all the pics of our friends together and I just could not make it. It`s not easy, but we still try to stay present however we can. That`s what video calls are for right?! lol Miss you and Gustavo lots!
Definitely, and I also already saw this through Gustavo when we were in Australia, with him always having to say no or missing out of weddings and big moments with everyone in Brazil ☹️ I think good friends understand, but sometimes you can’t help but feel guilty. But yes you are so right that video calls make everything so much easier now! We miss you too and really hope to see you again in person soon!!!!
really like your videos🥹 very helpful, cuz i have plans to move to the Netherlands in the future
Good to hear!! I hope you make it over here :):) hope my videos continue to help you
Once you have decided to live in another country, especially in a country on the other side of the world, you will go through all the steps of grieving: you say goodbye to family, friends and everything you are emotionally attached to in your original country.
And don't underestimate it; this farewell can be compared with saying goodbye to someone who has fallen away from you.
In addition, the home country and the conditions in the home country as you left it will not be the home country and the conditions in which you will find the it after years abroad for 2 reasons:
1. Your home country and the people who live there (family and friends) is/are subject to constant changes and evolutions, however small as they can be which you hardly notice when you live there, but all together most likely will provide you a completely different experience of your home country and that this is the reason that after years of absence your home country no longer feels like your home country and your friends and even family the way you left it/them.
2. Like it or not, you still get used (socially, politically, climate-technicaly and more) to the host country where you stay for a number of years and this habituation changes your perspective with regard to many things you your homeland. Being critical in your home country with regard to matters that you previously never discussed in your home country will therefore occur more often than you would like. And you simply cannot have both; you will have to make choices. Structural choices that give you a future in your country of choice. By choosing a certain country, you distance yourself and say goodbye to the other country, including the people who live there, and you welcome the new country, the new language and the new culture and the new norms and values and the people who live there just like yourself.
Even if you fully accept the host country or new country and fully integrate into this new country with the new language and the new culture and the new norms and values, you will go through the complete grieving process of parting with regard to the old country. It is absolutely not possible to keep everything you had in the old country without hindering your integration in the new country. This really is a Black or White situation, you've gotta choose...so it's all about choices unfortunately. You simply can't have both. The grieving process is inevitable, but don't go into the grieving process without giving yourself a real chance of success in the host country or perhaps during permanent immigration; the new country.
These are unfortunately the facts as they are. I wish you wisdom at your choices.
Wow, thank you for taking the time to share your perspective! Very true that it's a big decision, and so often we get swept away by the excitement and 'shininess' of moving abroad that we forget it also comes with its own challenges and baggage that we have to then deal with probably for the rest of our life! Sometimes there is no way to really know how it will affect you until you do it. My experience as an expat is also very different from that of a migrant or a refugee, which I think is important to highlight too. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!
I am an American who has been retired in Thailand for the past ten years. In terms of the problem of integrating in your new country an expat should accept that you will never belong in the way you used to in the country of your citizenship. Whatever your intentions you should start from the beginning to learn the language without everything will be harder even in a country like the Netherlands where everyone has studied English at school. Basically, in becoming an expat you should give up the idea of belonging altogether. You will never become a native in your new home and when you return to visit, your country of origin will become progressively more foreign to you over the years. That doesn't bother me, but it would some people. It's clear that you can't have it both ways.
It’s very true! Thanks for sharing your experience.
Feeling stuck in between 2 places it’s very real. I can totally relate to that. I guess that’s the price we have to pay for living this amazing adventure that is living abroad.
Great video Lisa! I haven't watched your videos in a while and my gosh you're now a pro UA-camr!! I can totally relate to the things you said, especially about being stuck in two places. I also feel an additional layer of complexity being an abc, it's like I'm stuck in 2.5 places 😂 I think one other big challenge for me has been navigating a new life admin system, taxes, healthcare, bank accounts etc it's all the boring stuff but critical to be able to live your new life. Some of these may be a one off challenge and others are more ongoing
Absolutely agree - nothing comes without a little bit of sacrifice, but some sacrifices really are worth it 🧡
Absolutely agree - being Asian Australian definitely adds another layer to our identity and expat experience in both good and challenging ways. All those ‘boring life admin’ things you mentioned are definitely the most annoying and difficult things to get through, even when we don’t have to deal with it being in a different language! But when you figure it out there is a big sense of accomplishment too ☺️
Tip: If You need 'rest', just ask. If You have a job, making use of the 3 to 4 weeks of paid vacation days, is not something to be ashamed of- and be shamed for. The amount of paid free time every worker has in the Netherlands is something they are quite proud of. By law Your employer has to grant You those days.
Home is where your heart 💖 is.
We are visiting the Netherlands and it is beaut with the older buildings and history etc BUT there is no a/c and it was 100 degrees the other day and we saw an old guy passed out on the sidewalk probably with heat stroke. We are doing public transportation which involves tons of walking between stations, and there were no public restrooms or any stores with a/c to cool off and avoid heat stroke. Basically if anyone has health issues stay in the u s. with a/c and restrooms common in every store.
Wow I’m sorry to hear that! I have to say this year was much hotter than last year, and the heatwave you talk about was unprecedented for both Netherlands and the UK! You’re totally right that most buildings here don’t have aircon and no free public toilets. Perhaps you can consider taking Ubers between places just to get a bit of a break from all the walking?
I moved from Australia to the UK and now we are in the process of moving to NL. I think as long as you are open to new things and are realistic it is worth it. Knowing that most of your time is the daily things, can help keep the perspective. if you want the travel glamour- just travel.
Great advice and I totally agree! Good luck with your move to the Netherlands!
Hey Linda, One advise I can give: There is more than Amsterdam!!! Nothing wrong about Amsterdam but Amsterdam is not the Netherlands. I was born in Amsterdam and I know Amsterdam quite well I dare to say. Because of the huge popularity of Amsterdam (Almost all expats live there ;-) ) real estates are super expensive! Now buying a house or trying to rent is throughout the Netherlands pretty expensive it is so much worse in Amsterdam. The other bigger cities are also pretty expensive so you have to decide what kind of location would make you happy.. You can save a 100.000 Euro on morgage by looking at other parts of the country..
@@Dutchbelg3 Definitely agree. We Ended up settling in Haarlem which is awesome.
@@lindaleer7989 Haarlem is definitely a splendid choice! And near a nice piece of nature and the beach! #zandvoortnudebeach 😜
@Linda Leer any particular reason u picked Haarlem over Utrecht?
If it was possible to stay forever. Would you choose to? Or rather go back to Australia? Or some other country?
Hard question to answer! My oldest friends and parents are in Australia, so I will always see Australia as my true ‘home’. It’s also where I am a citizen, and where I have spent most of my life. All I can say is that if someone told me it was time to go back to Australia right now, I would be very disappointed and upset. Maybe in a few years my views will be different again.
I'm moving to the Nederlands in few months, so I will be expat in NL, but I am already expat in another country, so I know what to expect and everything you said is 100% true. The only difference is that few years ago I moved because of my college education and now I am moving for the job opportunity.
I would do exactly the same all over again, because it is completely worth it and I met some great friends here (and my boyfriend). They are like family to me right now
Thanks for sharing your wonderful perspective and experiences! I totally agree that it’s great to have friends from all over the world 🥰 I need to do a bit more research about how people stay here but unfortunately I believe that I would have to give up my Australian passport which is a no go for me! :(
@@LeesaYu Sorry just chiming in here! I think you can also apply for a Permanent Residence permit after 5 years which allows you to keep your current passport :)
@@elleentiong3076 Oooo thank you - I clearly hadn't done enough research on this matter! Feeling excited!
Should one not have to learn some Dutch for citizenship?
@@mimimotor yes indeed, you have to pass the civic integration test which includes passing a certain level of Dutch
Very good insights. You chose the wrong life for the character you have. Hard choices ahead, I fear. And by the way, why isn't it possible to get the Dutch nationality if you can pass all the exams and if you have a job?
? you can’t get citizenship?
I would have to give up my Australian citizenship which I would never do. Other option is for me to apply for Dutch residency, though I can only apply for this after 5 yrs of living here :) but let’s see what the future brings!
I rarely see my extended family here, so moving overseas wouldn't change that much. Luckily, we have social media and smart phones now.
Yes makes me think a lot of about how my migrant parents survived without regular/any contact with their extended family in the 1980s! We are very lucky to live in this day and age now ☺️☺️
@@LeesaYu My sister only lives 4 hours away, but I don't have a car and we have conflicting work schedules.
Where to buy the best coffee? Easily Simon Leveld!
Thanks for the recommendation!
Is it not possible to keep in contact with you're family and friends in Australia via zoom calls?
If not this Covid thing won't last forever please have hope you will see you're family and friends in Australia once again.
But for now you and you're husband are more than welcome here in the Netherlands stay safe.
Other than that a great video keep it up👍
Yes thankfully we have FaceTime, Zoom, Whatsapp etc! But my point is that it takes up a lot of time to catch up with everyone, and then I cannot spend my spare time actually living my life here in the Netherlands ☹️ but thank you so much for your lovely message! We feel very welcome here and love the Netherlands. Meanwhile I hope we can visit our family next Christmas in 2022!
What line of work is your husband in?
He works in the Finance industry.
How to make new friends in your 30s in a foreign country where you don't speak their native language. I mean like real friends who you can call any time.
I actually made a video on this topic, with practical ways to meet new people in the Netherlands (but also applicable worldwide). I agree with you that there’s a different between meeting people and becoming good friends with people - that takes time, effort and willingness on both sides, and taking initiative. We have made really amazing friends here - it’s hard work but definitely possible. Hopefully you find my video helpful! ua-cam.com/video/gatRdUbvB5I/v-deo.htmlsi=7Q66l3I5h8Y8eZfN