Main Babes: A Love Story | Chosen Family Podcast
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- Опубліковано 21 жов 2024
- Today on the Chosen Family Podcast: Donald Trump’s arrest, Ashley’s Big Main Babes Reveal, and Alayna’s next steps after getting into her Master’s program. Today’s topics of discussion: How to consume news responsibly, and how to meet more queer friends!
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mak, every episode: im not baby!
also mak, most episodes: speaks in the cutest baby voice and wants to play catch on the beach with her sisters
I'm a straight male and I started watching because I wanted to learn more about my lesbian best friends experience. Thank you so much, the three of you are hilarious and amazing!
As a lesbian, if I were your friend and I knew you were here to learn more about my experience I would be SO grateful, so keep it up. You’re awesome
Awww 🥺
That's so incredibly sweet❤
@@houseonfire6084 As the “lesbian friend” in question, I can safely say it is the sweetest thing 🥹🫶🏼
I wish more straight men would do this! Thank you for caring about our experiences ❤️
Mak's comedic timing with the party popper was A+
it was so good LMAO
Mac’s reaction to Ashley not roasting her for liking vanilla was adorable
Ashley at the end: “Should we do another episode?”
Y’all aren’t even trying to pretend like you film these a week apart😂
This is what I came here to comment😂😂😂
How do they come up with updates thoo
@@LamAnopro_ fr
@@LamAnopro_ I think they film and record the members/Patreon episodes back to back with the regular podcasts, but only one regular podcast per recording day
I'm 40 and Ash complaining about her age makes me giggle.
48 here and same 😂
40 club, same lol
I'm 19 and sometimes I feel ancient and my siblings who are in their late 30's just laugh at me lmao ❤😂
46 and post surgical menopause: The skin changes are wild. One fair price for freedom.
I’m 41 lol
The look on Mac's face, when she says "really?" because Ashley is agreeing with her about vanilla instead of roasting her, is just so sweet.
Also, yes, Alayna, I also get words or phrases stuck in my head.
THANK YOU
Me too!!! I get like, movie quotes, most often.
I remember movies after I watch them the first time of watching them.
The chaos that always ensues in the first 5 min at least is always the best.
Mak: hi
Alayna: we’re fighting
Ashley: i M s O o L d
*cat*
I recently became very aware of the bubble I am in when in a straight podcast they mentioned that someone had two mothers and half of the comments were "How does that even work?" and the other half was "That's child abuse". Like, bro. Come on. It's 2023 and you have the internet. Wtf. I also had to explain what transgender means and how that is different from a drag queen (specifically Conchita Wurst, thank you) to my parents like every three months over. On the other hand, this also gives me motivation that representation still matters so much and even the most basic UA-cam video is a tool that can make a great difference in just one person.
PS: Do you know that meme about "discussing gender with a straight person vs discussing gender with a queer person"? Like on the one side it's "So, some people might actually have a body that doesn't match the gender they identify with" and on the other it's "Not all lesbians are women. - Of course."
Same feeling. I get shocked everytime I interact with most straight people, including my family and friends. I have to pause and remind myself that I'm not in a safe place anymore. I feel like getting all this queer spaces online is making me complacent.
@@FZ-bk9kh That's horrible. I'm sorry. But I do know that feeling. Luckily, I cut out a particularly bad place for this when I quit my last job, but the feeling is still there almost everywhere else irl, just not as intense.
@@FZ-bk9kh For me the Only safe space to be queer is internet. So yeah... That's interesting... Isn't it? 🙃
@@hustler212 , hopefully one day we'll both find safe spaces irl
@@JuMixBoox , glad you got out of that, mate. I hope people respect you in your new job
"I don't like cake" is Alayna's second most vulnerable and "all the viewers want to hug her and tell her it's okay"-style moment after "I am gay" some two years ago.
Who’s here the second it posts? 🙋🏼♀️
Me! 😂
I’m here the second I wake up 😂
@@thymetravel I’m awake about an hour before it posts so then I can get ready for work and listen :)
@@skyla.rainsmith8360 ☺️
Mak was so cute saying "jen jen jen jen jen". You should make a clip of this moment 🤣
First, Ashley you have such an expressive face you don't need botox.
Second, as a straight, older male I was shocked when my drama student nephew asked to borrow some of my clothes. Then I thought oh he's playing an 'oldie'. I asked him and after a lot of pressing he finally told me, he was playing a nerd. For some reason I felt strangely flattered. Does that make me cheeky, I think having to look the word up is possibly my answer😁
Alayna taking over telling the story of Ashley and Jen is probably a mirror of how her handling over editing goes at first.
I think it's probably more that Ash might be a bit of bored of telling the story (she's summarised it a few times on The Other Podcast to guests), & Alayna was offering a fun new way to cover it
Fashion doesn’t have an age, and clothes don’t have an age or a gender, inherently. Ashley, you have a great sense of style, and your confidence in who you are and your sense of self, how that shows in the way you present yourself, and your comfort in how you dress, are the greatest and most important part of wearing clothes, for fashion or otherwise. Wear whatever you want to wear anytime you wanna wear it. ❤ we love you dude.
Alayna & Ashly : *having deep conversations about political and world issues*
Mak: *turns into sad puppy*
the way Mak completely froze when Ash said "what does she say?" about her gf's dirty talk lmfao Mak has such funny body language
This was so good, thank you guys for all the work you do. hearing you talk about editing and everything reminds me that this really isn't effortless entertainment the way you make it look!
Hey Ashley I don't think you need it in any way, but you could just use retinol instead of botox. That way you could start and stop too. Retinol is genuinely shown 100% to decrease wrinkles. Takes some time though. Also sunscreen is the main preventer of aging!
Commenting to boost this comment^ skincare does way more for wrinkles than needles, short and long term. Also skincare doesn't change your ability to fully visually express emotions, even subtle botox tweaks definitely do restrict expression.
im 37 and yes skin care is the way, drink more water and moisturize daily , thats all you got to do at this point. ppl always guess im in my 20s and i got called kiddo un ironically yesterday LOL!
Ashley’s trump impression gets me everytime 😂
this podcast has helped me reconnect with my queerness so much! being bi in a het relationship makes ppl forget you're gay and this podcast has been instrumental in me reconnecting with that side of myself! you ladies are so funny and sweet and I love you like my real chosen family
oh man SAME
Same. I’ve been bi since the 90s and in a hetero marriage for over 20 years… I think *I* forgot.
Ladies, thank you so much.
Alayna taking over the story and not letting Mak do it her way feels very much like one of my friends who organised the games when we were kids and would not allow us to play if we didn't follow the rules hahaha
She’s very type A
To be fair, Mak did say she doesnt know the story at all, so I looked at it more like Alayna taking the reigns in an area that she was just more knowledgeable in. I felt like she listened to the fact that Mak said I don't know the story.
Alayna has said she's aware shes the one in any group who makes sure all the friends play the game correctly, otherwise there'd be no fun...
You see me
I'm a cis het male, basically as far from the target audience as one could get, and I cannot explain how much I love this show. I'm not even necessarily here to learn anything, it's just really entertaining so thank you!
We stan 💖
I relate to this. At the base of it, this is just a really entertaining and good podcast
I'm a history teacher so I've got to stay up on the news. I recommend browsing things like AP and sticking to written media to see whats going on and then diving in deeper on anything you think is interesting or you want to know more about. That way you are aware of some of the main things that are going on but you don't get in the viscious cycle of existential fear mongering that comes with more commentary type news. Finally when reading the news pretend you have to deliver this information to teenagers where you want them to be aware but you don't want to scare them away from reality. It helps you try to keep a level head.
This is great advice. Thank you for sharing.
Big ups, thank you for the tips
I totally agree!!! I've been doing this for some years and it's the best choice I ever made!!!
First the abuse, now the love bombing for us straights.
Also, fucking love a good fresh sweat.
News consumption: I limit to reading the news once or twice week, in depth. Preferably from a site that doesen't try to get you in an infinite scroll but publishes well thought out articles. If you are on any social media or have friendgroups you will be kept in the loop of anything breaking news anyways so dont worry about fomo too much. Also sometimes it's a really nice thing to go to a cafe on a weekend and read an actual physical copy of a newspaper. Having a relaxing atmosphere and leisurely reading helps tone down the dread.
As a trans woman I have been going insane keeping up with all of the news about legislation over gender affirming care. Its been terrible for my health, I can't keep food down, and my mind won't shut off at night due to the stress and anxiety. I cannot thank you enough for posting this comment! This is INCREDIBLE advice. Time blocking has been so helpful to me in many other areas of my life and I don't know why I didn't think about it when it comes to news consumption. I do not say this lightly, your comment likely saved my life! From the bottom heart Thank you!
@@QuinnJoyLyons I hear you and can only imagine how this must be affecting you babe 😢 Hold strong! Our community loves you and all our trans sisters 💖 We can all do better work for any cause when we are pausing enough to take care of our own needs too 🫶
@@RioRav OMG thank you so much! That is also extremely helpful advice!! I 100% agree!!! I'm beyond grateful to this community of the Chosen Family podacast!
@@QuinnJoyLyons I am SO sorry! As an activist and a queer person, I have really struggled with this seemingly sudden change in anti-LGBTQ rhetoric, and especially the rampant transphobia. But I have been feeling that way with the awareness that trans people must be feeling it tenfold. I can only imagine! I hate that you are experiencing this. I wish I could take that from you. In lieu of that, I offer you virtual hugs, positive thoughts, and some form of non-religious prayers. I believe things will get better, we just have to make it there. I am spreading LGBTQ positivity anytime I can on my social media!
I know we have a lot of commentary on Alayna's outfits already, but that top definitely deserves its own comment. I want it.
okay so I’m a freelance writer (currently it’s a side hustle and I want it to be my full time job). for some reason it really REALLY hit to hear you say that you pitched a TV show that didn’t work out. Gotta remind myself that even people with established careers pitch things all the time that don’t get picked up.
I am a cheugy millennial and I’ve had lines on my head since my 20s and learnt to embrace it. I’m 33 this year
I think the question when it comes to the botox is not "do I look like I'm aging?" but rather "why does it upset me to think I look like I'm aging?" Of course, everyone can do what they want with their own body. But I think there's something to be said for examining the cultural norms that say aging = bad and think about whether we actually agree with them. (And also which culture is influencing that- I am from elsewhere in the US from you three and botox just isn't really a thing here- the California culture is smaller than it seems.) I think crow's feet are beautiful, personally. How wonderful to have every laugh and smile etched into your face for preservation forevermore! Our business as we grow older is not to smooth out every experience from our face, to prevent every crease- it is to live joyfully, to make sure that out of all of them, the laugh lines are the deepest.
i juust woke up from a nightmare and read the title and I'm already so much better. How's the podcast getting even funnier that I'm about to watch a Main Babes romantic movie
I'm pretty sure that there is no convincing scientific study that proves preventative botox works, it can cause just as many problems it fixes.
I think the downsides and cons are really not worthy when the alternative is to just age.
Your face is really expressive, I'm always astonished by how nicely structured it is, it matches you very much. And seeing these signs of change, specially in the corner of the eyes, gives a lot of character to you. I actually like a lot, i find beautiful how our eyes win those lines with time
But that's up to you, if you really wanna get, I wish all luck and the pros for you, that you get what you want out of it. You deserve everything good, you are a really great person
Gonna confirm what Ash said about sweets places; you can tell the quality of one such place by how well they do something that is considered plain. If you go to a cookie place and they have AMAZING snickerdoodles, the rest of the cookies are going to be the best you've ever had.
Some tips for keeping up with the news without being overwhelmed: Find a news outlet you trust + covers issues you care about and be on their weekly mailing list (The Tyee is a good one for BC news); Filter news by issues you care about (it's not reasonable to expect yourself to be aware of everything at all times); There are news podcast that give a run through on top issue per week (good for generally keeping up); Lots of news articles have audio options - s/t listening instead of reading reduces the consumption barrier; For specific issues subscribing to advocate groups keep you updated not only on current going-ons but also ways to be involved - dread from news (at least personally) can be due to feeling helpless so s/th simple as signing and sharing petitions / pre-witten letters to politicians can help.
Alayna as a military member and queer woman I realize most news is presented in a manner that colors the “news” to best support the owner or financier’s political position. I approach news like I do research, so I look at multiple sources that I vet for biases before I fully form my opinions. if I don’t have the time or energy then I avoid the “news” rabbit hole.
Alayna recapping like Olaf recapping Frozen 1 is my favorite bit ever! ❤❤
That cake bit is everything. IM LIVING FOR THIS POD
to Alayna's question about news consumption: what I was recommended to do was to set a time limit, like 20 minutes for reading news every day. This helps not to get sucked into a black hole of depressing content. Also, if you notice that reading news first thing in the morning (or before bed) makes you anxious/angry, it will help to think of a time of the day when you can read it and be less affected by it
I hope this helps :)
Soo idk it's weird for y'all having straight listeners or not lol, but as one I want to give some credit to what you're doing, I'm sure my family is not the only one but:
As a Christian raised in the south I quickly realized at a young age the problem with churches/ organized religions there was a lot of personal agendas and hate that never should of occured. I'm a mama now and not very educated about the LGBTQ community, but here is what I do know - I want to be, I have two perfect kiddos and I always want to be there safe place; whether navigating through finding themselves or just making sure they're good humans that know how to love people well and comfort others. I'm no where near perfect but I've learned a lot listening to you guys (also as a fellow anxious person I love the episodes on different attachment styles and Alana's therapy sessions lol) thanks for helping me grow & be better ❣️
I'm straight but played football with lesbians and really got on so well with my team mates .love this show .xx❤ love from Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪
In Germany there are a couple of good news podcasts. I usually listen to two 10 min. podcast (one gets uploaded in the morning and one in the evening) and one long podcast that goes deeper in the singular topics. These I can always listen to while washing dishes etc. But reading news every single day and getting pushnotifications on my phone stresses me out so much since covid. So I can really recommend finding podcasts that cover the topics that you want to be informed about and listen to them during other stuff. :)
Seeing Ashley dress now she does encourages me to keep rocking jeans and cool shirts forever
Do it. Who tf cares on what anyone else wears? Life is so short. Have fun, don’t give a fuck.
I am thoroughly with Ashley on the idea that you can absolutely tell a lot about an ice cream place or bakery by their vanilla. It's like judging a pizza place by how they do basic cheese pizza, not how they do a loaded topping pizza.
Also alayna was reminding me so strongly of my mom with the dessert part. My mom is not really an almond mom, more holistic goop mom, but she has a single donut once every year and gets sick from it every time bc she can't handle all the sudden sugar. (BTW major congratulations to alayna on getting into the masters degree program!)
I'm straight"ish" I'm here to learn about the LGBTQ+ community... My teenage inlaw in nonbinary and this podcast has really helped me understand ❤
Loved this episode!! Think it’s my favorite one yet.
I actually found a very helpful method to manage my news consumption thanks to my therapist! she suggested to choose 4 topics that I find important to focus on, two of them related to my identity and two related to other issues around the world or in my area, and follow qualified activists or official news sources that can provide info about those specific issues. for example I’m queer and Jewish so I chose both of these, and I also chose systemic and social racism and economics.
It really helped me, hope it’ll help you as well!
Love you all and happy Passover and Easter❤
I think that's really great advice. Being burned out doesn't make us effective activists. I have ADHD & often feel paralysed by the number of injustices I feel like I should be doing something about. It's so hard to cut anything out though, because it's all important 😭
@@mariannetfinches ahh thanks🥰 and yeah, it’s never effective to be burnt out, not mentioning all the news info that can be even triggering sometimes. And it is difficult to decide what you want to focus on but you can increase the amount of topics as you feel more confident in your mental health! And think about it this way: you never know what’s happening all the time anyway. We do need to be aware as much as possible but we are all human and it’s our jobs to put ourselves first. So take care of you first. 💕
Mak was so prepared with that popper 🎉🎉🎉 color me impressed
I'm a straight guy, and I'm here simply because I've been watching/following the three of you for years and love what you each do individually, so watching/listening to your podcast was a natural next step... and I love every minute of it.
2:54am in Colombia... I've just finish binge watching all of your podcast and I LOOOVEE THEM !! They are so easy and happy to listen, you don't feel the time passing. You're in a little happy bubble :)
Definitely the family we all need it.
ALL OF THEM?? REALLY?? Those are precious... I am watching them slowly cauz they are literal gem...
P.S. i sometimes repeat some of them
My biggest tool for not getting overwhelmed with news is turning to podcasts that do 10-20 minutes on one topic (Today Explained, CBC Frontburner, etc.) It's really helpful to me to have things contextualized, and it doesn't spike my cortisol as hard.
The family we never knew we needed and the one we all deserve
Ashley’s way of thinking about cake is so Italian. Less is more always. And how good are the “basic” flavors will always tell you how good the cook is!! (For any dish, actually, not only for cake)
The party popper bit was so good, I genuinely couldn't breathe for a minute
Random but after the talk about the Straight people at Ashley’s shows and in the podcast audience here, I had to pause right as the introduction started to make this comment. I thought I MIGHT be Straight when I first started listening, but I’d been questioning stuff for awhile in lots of “little” ways that really added up over time. I got surprised but excited when the talk turned to the Straight audience. My brain heard that and still thought you were talking to me, but as it went on, I realized this was the first time this question about why so many Straight listeners are here where my heart moved faster than my mouth and brain. Every other time this happened, I would excitedly exclaim out loud to my phone the different reasons I was here and loved this podcast as a Straight person. Then it turned into comparing my answers of why I love this podcast now to the answers I’d give as a Straight person earlier on. This, however, was the FIRST time where this kinda stuff came up, and my mouth didn’t jump in to answer the Straight audience questions/comments! I got SO EXCITED by that when I realized that I was just nodding along as I listened to that part instead of immediately thinking I needed to react as a Straight person questioning things etc. My brain out of habit may not have fully realized things yet, but my heart realizing to appreciate the real me as I am and NOT immediately jumping to answering the Straight audience questions like I used to do are actually HUGE shifts and steps forward for me! From someone who had trouble even realizing I could call myself an Ally and I “didn’t have to do more to earn the term Ally and be loosely associated with the LGBTQIA+ Community” until last year, I’m shocked but excited that I AM making WAY more progress than I thought I was! I kept seeing videos on different parts of the LGBTQIA+ where a reactor to a meme would encourage people not to come out until they were ready and that “you figure yourself out when you figure yourself out. It’s never too late, and you can always find your part of the Community whether it be online or in person.” and that’s just the kind of message I need! I’ve tried to remind myself to go at my own pace and not judge or over analyze the baby steps I’m making, but the beginning of another new chapter in your life is always rather rocky at the start anyway. But seeing how I’ve somehow shifted in my heart and partially in my mind from an enthusiastic Straight listener to someone that is seeing things from a former Ally to an actual Community member was actually a MAJOR reminder of how far I’ve come in the two months since I’ve realized I’m not Straight after all! So, thank you for another dose of positive realization, self-reflection and laughs and at only 10:00 minutes into the video too! Normally I force myself to wait until the end so I can comment all at once, but this time I was too excited to wait! Another great reminder why I LOVE watching this podcast every Wednesday! Thank you all, and please keep doing what you’re doing as you’re right that this little bubble of the internet is very, VERY different from the phobia that gets spouted regularly in mainstream stuff! 😔 But that’s why this podcast is making such a difference for sooo many of us!! 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 (9:35AM• Wednesday 4-12-23)
I don't know if Ashley relates, but I will say when I hit my low after my high: my biggest Achilles heel is that in my low, I am SURE I am simply being realistic, honest, & pragmatic about myself & my circumstances. & similarly, when I voice my "reasonable analysis" to my loved ones & they look at me like I'm nuts, I'm always shocked that it was just my low talking crazy again 🤷♀😂
Re Ashley's query about botox: I recognize that there must be a TON of pressure in your industry around looks, specifically around "looking young". Heck, the whole world seems to be obsessed with resisting the physical aging process.
I am all for folks having autonomy over their own bodies, whatever that looks like. And Also, for me it would be super refreshing to see more folks in positions of power, in the entertainment industry, on youtube, etc. actively speaking up about how wack the world's obsession with a youthful appearance is and see them taking the "risk" of allowing the smile lines and forehead lines from living an emotional and expression-filled life to exist. I feel it would give folks of all ages, myself included, a feeling of relief within our own aging processes when we start to see people in entertainment naturally aging.
There's no right or wrong for any decision people make individually. For me it would just be super cool to see the world view on this gradually shift through folks who have platforms.
Peace🌿
I’m totally relating to feeling obsolete like Ashley. But the thing about getting older is that you’re paying less attention to becoming this idea of the person you thought you should be. Also being disabled just comes with that feeling, but I’m just trying to let go of that bc it does not serve me in becoming the person I want to be. I’m 37.
I'm not straight but not exactly the intended audience. I'm aroace and I love y'all. Most of my queer friends/acquaintances are men and most of the women I am around are middle aged cishet white women who complain about their husband's. It's honestly just really lovely and uplifting to hear other queer women talk and makes me feel included.
I also just love y'alls personalities and dynamic! Found you bc my algorithm kept showing me Ashley's clips and I got curious.
Aro/ace here, too! I LOVE all of them and the creation of this pod was a dream I didn't know I had. I think we totally belong here. And it's wonderful to see the ace inclusion in their words!
Ashley - I'm 44 and can only tell you... It gets so much better! Like life just gets amazing when you hit your 40's 😘
I used to do political organizing and I honestly don't know how to avoid burnout because I tried to do too much. I will say when I was participating in local politics, registering people to vote and getting signatures for ballot proposals I was exhausted but more hopeful. I think it helps to think that you're doing something to make things slightly less bad, I felt more emotionally equipped to handle the bad news at the time.
As a 30 year old just learning about local government and how to know what's going on, I resonate with Ashley's "just go vote" rant!
On the topic of news consumption : what works for me is alternating between periods of staying up-to-date, and cutting it out completely for a week or two when I start to feel overwhelmed. It doesn't work for everyone, I talked to a friend about this the other day and she said she likes to give herself 15 to 30 minutes every morning to look at the news and then shut it out for the rest of the day. Just two examples of how one can feel less overwhelmed with the news. Another thing I've done is I've unfollowed all social media accounts that were bombarding me with information and making me feel overwhelmed. I've also followed accounts that specifically post good news. It helps me actually relax when I go on social media as it's my go-to way to wind down.
I respect all of you and love this podcast and Thoroughly enjoy Ashley's other podcast too. I will say since you asked: my experience is If you are willing and able to check out of fighting for trans rights then that is your place of privilege. The struggle of pain and exhaustion you feel from tracking the legislation that is being pushed against trans folks right now is 10-fold for people who are personally being attacked by this and personally having their lives upheaved by this national attack on trans people from a minority of politicians that doesn't mean I don't take breaks because I get burnt out very easily from it but doing nothing is just as bad as siding with the GOP against trans folks from what I've seen most people IRL that I talk to that aren't trans or non-binary don't even know what's going on and that's a huge problem for the trans community and their civil rights and ability to exist as themselves in this country.
Send messages to your state reps and senators if you're in any state that is trying to deny trans rights. Don't post it on social media speak up directly to the legislators
To comment about the news cycle - my therapist gave me some really good advice. They asked why I was so involved in the news and I told them because I want to support my community. They told me that my community starts with me, and if I am not taking care of myself and listening to my body and my brain when I cannot take any more news, I'm not supporting my community. It made it so much easier to step back, and stop doom scrolling, find the least biased news sources, listen once or twice a week instead of multiple times a day. Because then I could pay more attention without spiraling.
Ash, as a fellow mid-30's person, any time you talk about being old or "getting work done", I cringe giggle...or criggle.
I'm so wit Mak!!!! Ashley... nothing wrong with botox if and when it's needed, but--------- man alive.... YOU DO NOT NEED BOTOX gorgeous human!!!! You are not showing your age.. and you are so youthful and healthy looking my dearest!!!!! Alayna is right.. you are in a low .. from the huge high you were on!!! lol YOU ARE NOT OBSELETE!!! We love you.. so you need to love you.. and be kind to yourself and run from the botox for now!!!! 🥰
News consumption has made me anxious for such a long time - since I was a kid and my dad/grandparents would have it on when I would visit that side of the family. I told my family I didn't like it as it was all just incredibly negative stuff. I have a vivid memory of a family member driving me home and putting the news on in the car. I protested and probably screamed and they turned it up incredibly loudly to spite me.
I try to be informed and politically active when I can. I'm passionate about the environment and I try to keep up to date on that - but I am also honestly such an anxious person that I have to limit what I view for my own sanity. Climate news is hard enough, more stuff would be too much if too regular.
Also, if someone asks you not to talk about stuff because it upsets them (and it's not like a valuable life lesson eg you fucked up), respect their fucking wishes!
I'm so glad you guys spoke about this.
Try to find good news, Alayna. As a journalist its sooooo important to find good things to know.
speaking on the climbing gym and finding queer people, if you have time, get a job at the gym or find the schedule of community events.
The news struggle is real. I don't intentionally consume news anymore, but I do take a scroll through some current events related subreddits 1-2 times a day. It feels like I still find out about things that matter, but it's not an all-consuming thing.
I was in a similar news crisis under the pandemic! The news was just too much and I was alone a lot of the time, so I didn’t have the mental strength to keep consuming news like before. Now, I restrict my consumption to news so that I’m not bombarded with it everywhere. I don’t really use social media and I don’t watch or listen to news anymore - I only read the news, from sources I trust. That way, if I see a headline that I’m not in the right headspace to read right then, I can just scroll past it and come back to it later.
Edit: Also, I totally agree with Ashley about the politics! Social media can be great for raising awareness, but the real work is done in the real world. Go vote, people!
for my news consumption: When I was super active in keeping up to date on everything going on, my mental health was terrible because I couldn't do anything without thinking about how terrible the world is and being filled with dread. What I decided to do when cutting back on consumption but still staying informed is I followed a few instagram news outlets or people I trust to update me on important things happening in certain communities. I would then just read the headlines of the news articles (either through my email alerts or insta posts) and if something really stuck out to me, I would read further, but if not, I would simply just move on. It's helped some but I still feel guilt about not being fully informed and about the fact that I have the privilege to not be fully informed but I rationalized with myself that if my mental health tanks due to being fully informed, I'm not going to be a help to anyone, so I need to take care of myself before I can take care of political things
Happy birthdays mak and alyana!! Also yesss mak just what you were saying. I was just scrolling on some terribly homophobic comments and it is such a palate cleanser to be able to come here and listen to y’all 😭
Wednesday is my day off and listening to this podcast is my favourite part of the day ❤ Thanks for this wholesome space you've created ☺️
Regarding news consumption; I stopped watching the news years ago when my ex-husband was deployed, and the new stations were reporting about how his position was being bombed. I decided that being up-to-date on the news was not worth having to hear that over and over and over again nor was it worth having our daughter hear it over and over and over again so I stop listening to the regular news. I get a couple of subscriptions from newspapers where I get daily updates and if anything, big happens, someone tells me about it.
Long-time, cousin of the pod and I enjoy your discussions. One thing from this episode that I would like to feedback is that the degradation of trans rights is not being sensationalised. We can see wide-ranging withdrawal of medical provisions for trans youth in the US, drag bans that directly affect trans people's daily lives, and the UK (my home) now discussing changing the Equality Act to exclude trans people from the legal definition of sex, which would remove access to same-sex hospital wards, sport facilities, schools etc. This is a scary time, please speak up for our trans siblings! Cheers 🌞
y'alls podcast always makes my week! I love your dynamics together. Also re: news, my therapist suggested I stopped reading it when I was going through a really hard time with PTSD because I really needed to focus on healing myself before I could take on healing anything else, and 5 years later I haven't looked back and do not watch or read news unless absolutely necessary. I understand that comes from a place of privilege, and it is also okay to take care of yourself and realize that we cannot always handle knowing the weight of the world on a daily basis. Our little human brains were never built to know everything happening everywhere. If something really important happens, I hear about it from my partner or friends and take tangible action wherever possible. Because YES it is important to be informed and make changes where you can without drowning in bad news all of the time (attend or organize protests, VOTE, sign petitions, contact representatives, donate, advocate for change.) Sometimes my partner will start telling me about something really horrific in the news while I am about to have dinner or something and I do have to say "I really need to relax right now, can we talk about it tomorrow?" I have OCD and tend to ruminate and create destructive routines around disturbing thoughts until I have a mental breakdown so I really have to be aware of my limits and enforce those boundaries. I also do try to look up "uplifting news" stories or videos when I am feeling down.
Excuse me I am 44 and I enjoy myself very much here! 😉 I am also autistic and the botox scares the living poop out of me. I think it must be a sensory nightmare. First the needles in the face. And then inability to use your face properly as I am used to for decades. It can also have side effects. It can lead to body dysmorphia. It is not guaranteed that you will look better and it wears off after some time so you need to go periodically. And it is expensive. So I just use retinol, SPF and pray 😀
from the straights: i started to watch you cause i saw ashley's reels with crowd work and they were hilarious, and then idk how i found this... but you guys balance each other out and each bring in something unique, i love it :)
The frame at 19:30, so funny :D
It's your EDS Ashley that keeps you looking young. My wife has EDS also, and she is in her mid 40's and constantly gets confused for 28.
another thing to do instead of social media if you’re worried about everything going on, especially if you are disillusioned with voting like me (i think you should still vote for harm reduction purposes, but i disagree that voting is how you get real systemic change): organizing your communities. Meaning, unionizing your work place, or supporting local union efforts. getting to know your neighbors and starting a tenants union. Developing a mutual aid network (even if it’s small). Starting a community fridge. Anything that helps you *be there for your fellow people* is anti-establishment. There are some things you don’t need to vote to get done, and you should do them in your communities.
yes - do the tangible work 👏 voting in "good" politicians doesn't do much when they eventually fall in line due to p*lice and lobbyist intimidation
I love how all three of Ashley, Alayna, and Mak got to the point when they can listen to each other, develop each other's ideas, and make deep talks. Finally feels like a family) Love you!
So, as far as the news thing goes, I think it's important to remember to take on new information as a way of learning how to positively adjust your behaviour. I feel like if I just take in a bunch of info about horrible things it can be overwhelming, and not result in any positive action towards improving things. It also just generally lowers my mood and interferes with my ability to go about my life.
I've found more success by designating specific time to learn about an issue or put in effort to help. Like "I'm gonna spend 2 hours this Sunday looking into prison reform. Just trying to learn about the ins and outs of what that looks like" then I can reflect on that over time, and then create a plan for how I can personally contribute.
Really, I just feel like the mental load is so much less when I know I am gonna "clock in and clock out", rather than horrible news just being a constant background radiation in my life.
Excited to see other people's strategies though. Love the podcast, and I hope everyone has a great day :)
Thank you all so much for your content!!!😍😍😍 This is a highlight of my every week and brings me such joy and enlightenment!!😍😍😍❤️❤️ Love all around you all and those you love!!!❤️❤️❤️💞💞💞🥰🥰🥰
I love this pod. Roasting Alayna had me cackling
I listen to NPR's Up First podcast most mornings for news. They cover 3 big stories in less than 15 mins. Keeps me informed on the big stuff but doesn't overwhelm me
I'm turning 36 in May and I'm in an identity/ midlife crisis 😅
I have had mental health issues my whole life and just fought my way out of another really bad depressive episode.
My favourite (if a bit dark) metaphor: if you're sitting in an airplane that's about to crash, you can only be of use to the people around you if you put the oxygen mask on your face first. You can only take care of others/ make an impact, if you've taken care of yourself.
If listening/ reading the news all the time is bad for you don't do it.
Don't get me wrong: i do think it's important to be informed. It's just that not everybody can handle it the same way/ the same amount of bad news.
*Focus on* what is good for you, makes you feel good and *what you can control to make a change* - even if it's only in your immediate environment - i.e. going voting, treating people with kindness, being mindful, raising decent humans etc.
You might consider these only small steps for creating a better future. Some people may have more strength and can take bigger steps. But does it really matter? Every step in the right direction is better than standing still or going even backwards.
yay comfort channel post !
excited to watch this
You guys always make my rest day off way more fun, you dont even know how much i’m always looking forward to this podcast every week. Thank you ❤
As for Alayna being so nice as always, it’s no surprise because I feel like most Canadian are genuinely nice and very KIND (I’ve seen it with my own eyes). You can’t fake the aura of kindness and that’s what makes her even more beautiful. 😊❤
Are any Brazilians here too? (Happy birthday Mak🎉🎉🎉)
Alayna yes! Words get stuck in my head all the time! The word Mesothelioma is extra sticky
In the case of news consumption, I follow a rule of thumb given by an ethics teacher: read up on news in a weekly basis, make a note of the big things and once a week set up a time and a place to look stuff up and really understand what's happening.
While being aware of the goings on in the world is very important, it can also impact your mental health, specially when you live in a country like mine, where there's a lot of violence happening on the daily.
Now this doesn't mean that you have to create awareness about everything everyday, this is more about caring for yourself and being educated as a citizen of your country and of the world. As someone with a platform you can call for attention for something happening in your community and advocate for those that you can actually impact and help.
I fully had to stop watching the news in 2016. I find that the more I actively do - writing to representatives, electioneering, donating time & resources, raising awareness - it's time I'm not dwelling & spiralling.
I've got a main charity in my will. I talk to friends & colleagues about current events & media framing (info I get via newsletters & social media from orgs I support & communicators I trust), & try to relate it to people we know. It's a lot harder to judge someone you can't dehumanise.
This is my all time favorite podcast I’m a fellow straight (questionable) listener that is obsessed with pod and I think you guys are so funny and I look forward to listening every week! You guys make me feel so safe, thank you for doing this 💕💕
I just binged all the episodes over the past few days and this is the first one that I got to watch on release day and I’m just so happy to be here 😊
It is currently 2:30am where I am at and I am awake watching this. I ran out of podcast to watch and I am so glad I am getting to watch this now. Literally the perfect timing of posting this!!❤❤❤❤
Ground News is absolutely amazing
Alayna killed me with the shirt thing when she figured out that she said something she shouldn't about the footage Ashly posted lately LOL
Don't worry Ashley, I'm a 43 yo who teaches AT A UNIVERSITY. I am surrounded by 18-21 yo children, so I feel older than dirt all day long. 👴
To be honest, one of the many reasons I watch this podcast. It helps keep me young! Thank you for that, by the way... 👍 This straight is still a fan/friend and I hope to EARN the title Ally at some point. Take care folks!
I have never listened to this podcast and this is very wild I am missing context on absolutely everything and it‘s great
It’s safe in this corner and I’m thankful for it. 💜
i can say one thing. i watch every chosen family episode twice a week. once as it is and another on 1.5 speed
Alayna’s elder sibling was really trying to come out this episode😭
Congrats to Ashley and Jen!!!❤ so happy for you guys:)) #mainbabes4eva