4 ways your EX tests you after a breakup and how to respond

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  • Опубліковано 29 сер 2024
  • 4 ways your ex will test you after the breakup
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 116

  • @blacademic
    @blacademic  Рік тому +3

    Book a 1 on 1 coaching session: calendly.com/breakupcoachtj

  • @shontellburch1140
    @shontellburch1140 Місяць тому +29

    1. Ex keeps you on the back burner w/ no title
    2. Ex asks you for favors
    3. Ex violates your boundaries (calling/txt at odd hrs, etc)
    4. Ex tries to make you jealous
    Peace & Love Yall ❤️😎 you’re welcome lol

  • @dallasii7114
    @dallasii7114 Рік тому +56

    Rule number 1 dont take a ex back.

    • @roydied15
      @roydied15 23 дні тому +1

      Rule #0, no contact. If you don’t respond/react to your ex, they won’t keep asking to hang out and try and make you jealous.
      Or just be another step ahead and block them, even if it’s just temporarily. The FIRST thing I did, literally 2 hours after getting dumped by my most recent ex was block her on all social media and then actually deactivate all social media. Deleting her number is a great option too cause then you absolutely can’t text them, even if you want 😂😂

    • @losheroes6076
      @losheroes6076 3 дні тому

      ​@@roydied15damn i wish i had your strentgh

  • @karenblack2869
    @karenblack2869 Рік тому +46

    As a woman I actually do not recommend dating your ex. Both need to figure out why it ended, your part in it and why. Then go live a healthier life alone or seek couples counseling and learn how to fight fair, be heard and support each other before trying to pick it back up. Otherwise you'll just recreate the same unhealthy dynamic all over again. Why keep choosing the same mysery over and over again?

    • @derrickmoon3296
      @derrickmoon3296 Місяць тому

      Not both, the dumper has to figure out why they would go out with you on a date when they dumped you. Many times they are going back and forth in their heads. The dumped needs to stay strong and go slow and look attractive to them by playing it cool and not desperate

    • @ottoking8886
      @ottoking8886 Місяць тому

      You also dont have a penis. Dont know anything about being a man and replacing a woman that's irreplaceable whether she cheated or not so u could never understand.

  • @trudance6
    @trudance6 Рік тому +83

    3 months into arguing i I still sent gifts as a loving gesture. Went out as friends and ended up still getting chewed out days later. Immediately went into No Contact after (2 weeks later) and trying the approach of just focusing on myself 100%. Yes I think about it everyday but I’m letting go of the wheel and trusting the process as you said.

    • @marcusmillien6747
      @marcusmillien6747 Рік тому +12

      Bro it’s hard. All you can really do is worry about yourself and do the right thing. What’s meant for you will find you

    • @TheSlumlord635
      @TheSlumlord635 Рік тому +8

      Rule 1. Never argue with a woman.
      Rule 2. Implement the Power of walking away.
      Rule 3. Work on your physical fitness. Not only will it build your confidence and relieve stress but it will simultaneously make you mentally stronger.

    • @AMGTT
      @AMGTT Рік тому +3

      That person isn’t ready something triggering I think in time. You both will be able to speak without arguing.

    • @norswil8763
      @norswil8763 3 місяці тому +6

      Sending gifts?😂 What are you doing bro haha

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому

      @@norswil8763 yeah wrong move , let them see and feel the loss

  • @denisewilliamson4749
    @denisewilliamson4749 Рік тому +33

    Thank you! My ex said to me he thought we would always be friends although were not together anymore! We never called it off after a bad disagreement and we never talked again! He left me hanging for 4 months without closure and he sent this text saying he thought we would always be friends and he was checking on me! What? I replied by text I'm good hope all is well with you. We never communicated again ! He even said he figured I met someone and moved on! 😊 yes I did moved on. He was a coward ending the long-term relationship like he did!😊

    • @ZinisterMusic
      @ZinisterMusic Рік тому +8

      Since me and my ex broke up there’s a lot I’ve learnt and there’s a saying that’s stuck with me and it’s goes some thing like “if they are committed they will make adjustments, but if they are interested they’ll make excuses” my ex was 20 and I was 24, she never got bored of me as I always kept her on her toes as she put it, but she got bored of life and said she shouldn’t be bored at 20, yet when I told her sometimes life gets boring, and that we can still do the things we would do e.g. go for nice walks, have movie nights and date nights which we hadn’t had a date night in a few weeks but had a wonderful weekend just before the breakup, her saying she needed to work on herself was a lie and I’ve learnt that in a relationship you can still work on yourself and still be involved with that person as that’s what a relationship is about growing with that person, and to me I saw it as her taking the easy way out, and since we’ve been apart she’s been going out every weekend with her friends, and to me she is only numbing the pain where I have been taking the time to heal properly, to me all she had to say is that she needs to work on herself and have my support and that she would like to go out with her friends more often, I would’ve been fine with that, she did previously mention to me a month before she wanted to go out with her mates more and I was all good with it, but I stated that as along as she made time for me and for us I wouldn’t have an issue, but she still took the easy way out and never gave me the closure I deserved, the way I see it is she lost me and she gave up on me for something so small that she could’ve done whilst being with me

    • @derrickmoon3296
      @derrickmoon3296 Місяць тому +3

      Not a real man doing it like that, you are better off

  • @marlobx7442
    @marlobx7442 Рік тому +8

    No lies told brother 💯

  • @veinvader1961
    @veinvader1961 Рік тому +17

    Really enjoy your channel man. Whenever I am having a moment of weakness I will check a video out and it gets me back on the straight and narrow. Keep doing your thing...wish you all the success.

  • @Sunshine3butterflies
    @Sunshine3butterflies Рік тому +6

    I agree with all you said and it was really helpful. Leaving that door open for communication is also toxic. Unless U have kids together or anything tying u so u have to communicate, I would just shut that door period. Once it’s open then the person will find ways to keep u on strings. That’s my 2 cents! Hope that’s helpful 😊

  • @rubyred3860
    @rubyred3860 2 місяці тому +2

    Damn! It’s like our sides were switched bc this sounds so much like what I do to him instead of the other way around!!!

  • @DoNotAlterDNA
    @DoNotAlterDNA Рік тому +6

    Dang that’s what she’s been doing to me while in a rebound.

  • @vegasparks1429
    @vegasparks1429 Рік тому +15

    How you not talk to your ex when y’all have a small child together?

    • @Kyle-pj2vc
      @Kyle-pj2vc Рік тому +4

      I would recommend only when it's exclusively about concerns about the child in a professional way, and only stay on topics concerning the child; don't let him/her shift it to what's going on in your personal lives. Remember, you two are finished and you shouldn't treat them like a priority. Everything else between you two, you don't have discussions, you set boundaries, and you ignore their attempts unless they chase you and want you back.
      Then it's up to you to decide if you want them back or not based on how you two broke up, and if it's something you can work out an overlook. If there's another person involved and they picked them over you, all I will say is don't fall back with a cheater or someone who is very remorseful for sloppy seconds.

    • @vegasparks1429
      @vegasparks1429 Рік тому

      So let me ask this they be in the city on the 9th and we ain’t been in contact do I pick them up from the air port ?

    • @vegasparks1429
      @vegasparks1429 Рік тому

      She the type of person who won’t even lmk she out here w my daughter or even call like I’m here do you wanna see your daughter so what do I do?

    • @tamisharowland4933
      @tamisharowland4933 Рік тому

      I'm in the same situation

    • @Kyle-pj2vc
      @Kyle-pj2vc Рік тому

      @@vegasparks1429 No you don't pick her up from an airport, doing them favors is unattractive and still shows you care. Showing them you care if they left you is chasing someone who doesn't want you and comes off as desperate, a pushover, and that she can walk all over you and still have you in her back pocket. Make her pay an Uber or have her family/friends pick her up. If it's your legal time to take care of the child, only the pick the child up.
      You need to set some self respect guidelines that if she wants to perks of someone to take care of her, that she needs to be exclusive and fully invested in you. Until that point, it comes off as very attractive when you go off and do your own thing independently and show that you'll be okay without her. Even if deep down you feel otherwise and deeply care about her, you still have to at least pretend like you moved on and don't respect someone who drops you like that. They can't miss you, if you're always there. You have to give them the opportunity to miss you by withdrawing, and if they never miss you while you're gone then they never really loved you.
      You cannot force someone to love you. Freedom is love, and if they don't choose you when you withdraw, they weren't worth it.

  • @deFt18
    @deFt18 Рік тому +5

    Only love a girl who makes the first move

    • @DoNotAlterDNA
      @DoNotAlterDNA Рік тому

      💯

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому +1

      even then , later she flipped it once you give all your love,

    • @creatureofstyle
      @creatureofstyle 22 дні тому

      That's no guarantee. My guy pursued me for 3 years (we were friends for 4 years but I wasn't dating during that whole time due to healing from a divorce). I finally was ready to date and he decided I wasn't the one for him a month in 🙄 Sometimes they like to make the exciting first moves but then after that they get bored

  • @josephinecampolieto8977
    @josephinecampolieto8977 15 днів тому

    Tyvm I find this very helpful & intent 2 b very careful

  • @ZinisterMusic
    @ZinisterMusic Рік тому +9

    Could you do a video on what to do if your ex says she can’t get back with you because she can’t let go of the past e.g. holding on to all of the negatives (the arguments) that happened in the relationship and you’ve also decided to go into no contact

    • @erikrodriguez5608
      @erikrodriguez5608 Рік тому +5

      Trust me my man im on that same chapter always bringing out its your fault your always arguing i cant go back bwcause you havent changed its all obstacles big bro do you and stop worrying about what she thinks theres someone else in your way you just have to allow it shes not perfect either but they wont admit any guilt but they will transfer all the blame to you

    • @ZinisterMusic
      @ZinisterMusic Рік тому +5

      @@erikrodriguez5608 trust my man, I agree with everything you said, my ex said she feels like we wouldn’t be good together at the moment but only because she’s sorting her shit out but then at the same time she said she feels like she can’t let go of the past but if she can’t do that for herself or for us then she won’t be able to sustain a relationship in the future, I’ve been working on myself hard and I’m getting better for me and not for her

    • @erikrodriguez5608
      @erikrodriguez5608 Рік тому +4

      @@ZinisterMusic bro i get you its always something they have to take blame too they want to do them and take the best of you but not let you go and grow as a person it sucks but slowly youll become more numb to it and its going to so normal that youll be like fuck it

    • @bsimmons1863
      @bsimmons1863 Рік тому

      @@erikrodriguez5608 facts you are definitely on point

  • @jeammynabila821
    @jeammynabila821 Рік тому +3

    Thank you....i really need this...

  • @komissa3674
    @komissa3674 Рік тому +3

    i love your chanel big up 👊

  • @vangelis3b
    @vangelis3b Місяць тому +1

    Thank you!

  • @Wavecattt
    @Wavecattt 4 місяці тому +6

    he said he wanted me back but I rejected him, because I was in pain. But now when my mind is more at ease I realise I want to give him another change. should I say this to him?

    • @user-si6zb5lq9d
      @user-si6zb5lq9d 2 місяці тому +1

      What did u do ? I have the same question as u. Please help me

    • @Wavecattt
      @Wavecattt 2 місяці тому

      @@user-si6zb5lq9d we talked for hours face to face and a few days later we talked again allot.. I made him clear that what he done to me, he wont forget but i will forgive and that i will let the past go. Others wise we cant move on for a healthy relationship. But i told him that if he will disrespect me like that again, throw the relationship away, that i am willing to walk away for good.
      We are in a very good place. I let him make it up to me, by making effort etc. Without nagging, just being in my feminine energy🥰 i am happy that i gave him a change, i will see how things will be in the future. Good luck to you😘

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому +2

      if he reached out first yes you can send a text how are you

    • @creatureofstyle
      @creatureofstyle 22 дні тому +3

      Yes, you should. I was in your ex's shoes and my ex rejected me. I didn't try again because why would I when he already said no? Now it's a year later and he has a new girlfriend but I spoke to him recently and he was upset with me that I didn't keep pursuing him earlier on, but I respect boundaries so I didn't know that was expected or even an option. It's a very painful situation

    • @Wavecattt
      @Wavecattt 21 день тому

      @@creatureofstyle thanks💜

  • @chipashachilao2077
    @chipashachilao2077 Рік тому +5

    Please talk about how u can do these if there is a child involved

  • @matthewammeter1462
    @matthewammeter1462 Місяць тому +2

    Thanks!

  • @nonenone6884
    @nonenone6884 8 місяців тому +2

    Why are you still talking to your ex unless you want kids. Shouldn't it be over

  • @angelwarda
    @angelwarda День тому

    My ex blocked me on Instagram and now he deleted social media. I haven’t reached out it’s been a couple of weeks. Is this something he’s doing to get my attention. He’s the one that left. I’m just hurt and confused. Should I stay in no contact?

  • @Croy617
    @Croy617 3 місяці тому +1

    She called me at 3 am this morning because she crashed and totaled her car going 40 mph…she’s the mother of our daughter…

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому +2

      let her call her dad or new bf

    • @Croy617
      @Croy617 Місяць тому

      @@tankthearc9875 I know man, her dad is a literally no good, and not sure if she has a new bf, but I’m done man. Literally, I’m too good for her and all that baggage bs

  • @thomasconnors7511
    @thomasconnors7511 Місяць тому +1

    I realized if your hesrt and your mind aren't on the same wavelength. That's a red flags. Move on.

  • @mhaas281
    @mhaas281 2 місяці тому +1

    2 days later she's already checking in with me asking how I'm doing.

    • @abcdaamazoniaa
      @abcdaamazoniaa Місяць тому

      Update?

    • @mhaas281
      @mhaas281 Місяць тому +1

      @@abcdaamazoniaa we're still seeing each other.

    • @abcdaamazoniaa
      @abcdaamazoniaa Місяць тому

      @@mhaas281 Mine made excuses to reach out about some random shit on sunday.. but I am silent and only responding after some time... hope the best for you, brother

  • @erikrodriguez5608
    @erikrodriguez5608 Рік тому +2

    Wow sadly my ex always told me on my face hey i dont want to be hanging out with you but she had time for her friends i even said no to a day of work to allow her to go with her co workers to a shooting range while i stood home with my kids wondering what she was doing and why she wouldnd want to hang out or go out no where with me im still getting over it but i still need alot of work on saying no to her

    • @denisewilliamson4749
      @denisewilliamson4749 Рік тому +2

      Just keep healing and take care of your mental health. Ask God for strength to move on. This pain will past like anything else in time! However, you need Jesus to assist you with walking away . continue your path on getting better and stronger! You deserve so much better!😊🙏

    • @todddunnell4350
      @todddunnell4350 Рік тому

      Amen

    • @nguvulumakayi9377
      @nguvulumakayi9377 Рік тому +1

      Just say No I’m busy. Only talk about the kids.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому

      be strong , yes be a man say no, she dumped u

  • @jerrydudley8961
    @jerrydudley8961 Рік тому +1

    Hey coach, odd question: if you were dating for you fired from your job, was supposed to communicate with me to let me know if she was pregnant or not and she never contacted me and lied over the smallest thing.. after I’ve guided her to a much healthier situation and still have feelings for her. Would it just be best to move on?
    I’ve been no contact with her since Jan 17th.. have no desire on reaching out to her.

  • @CC.Cosmin
    @CC.Cosmin 5 місяців тому

    My ex broke up with me 2,3 years ago. Yesterday she saw me on a Mall shopping and today I received a long messenger message: i saw you, i didn't aspect, i would like to say Hi i hope you agree to say hi to eachother next times ecc. I said OK then she reply: im very happy to know we both think the same. What she want? Thnx

  • @lojadoindianobr
    @lojadoindianobr 2 місяці тому

    Now the question I have in mind coach is if your ex as you favours to look after our kids when working what do you say about this one .

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому +1

      kids its ok , but looking after while they date nope

    • @mawishi
      @mawishi Місяць тому

      Of course, it's your kid too

  • @nooshjai76
    @nooshjai76 2 місяці тому +1

    Outstanding Supporting advice 🙌🪷✨✨✨🦋

  • @nonenone6884
    @nonenone6884 8 місяців тому +1

    Why are you dating your ex. All of this makes you look weak

  • @AliseIam
    @AliseIam Місяць тому

    Don’t respond. Just block and move forward

  • @amnahaleem607
    @amnahaleem607 4 місяці тому

    He sent me money on my birthday and and a message "happy birthday ❤" on my birthday pic after 5 solid months if no contact after dumping me. No apology or direct message. I didn't respond as im not able to trust them.A week has passed now.Wondering if i did the right thing but im unsure about reconnecting.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому

      you can reach out but play it cool. act indifferent

  • @charlesturner6131
    @charlesturner6131 Рік тому

    It’s like my ohm just knows my ex just tried to test me

  • @insaneguy6592
    @insaneguy6592 Рік тому +1

    It’s been 48 days and not a single call or text, neither I got unblocked

    • @a.j.marquez3458
      @a.j.marquez3458 Рік тому +4

      Been 2 years brother no msg no call , focus on you my brother

    • @ErikisOfficial
      @ErikisOfficial Рік тому +1

      And you better not make a call or text lol. You're unblocked because she knows you're watching her. It's to make you reach out
      The minute you make contact is the minute you confirm to her that you're still sitting and waiting.

    • @insaneguy6592
      @insaneguy6592 Рік тому +1

      @@ErikisOfficial thanks for the help bro.. but read it again, I’m not unblocked (“neither”)

    • @ErikisOfficial
      @ErikisOfficial Рік тому +3

      @Insane Guy oh. Well, that's good! It's good if you weren't being fkd up in the end. That's an emotional move on her behalf. When people block, they kind of expect you to go around it in some kind of way. If you don't react, they'll be like, "Wait a minute, he was supposed to chase." She's probably watching you from a distance out of curiosity. You're more attractive when people don't know what you're up to. But if you're leaving subs on the internet that will travel back or posting your every move on the net, then that's different.
      But anyway, good luck and don't wait on anyone. I always tell people that you'll never know who you're missing out on by energetically hanging on to someone who doesn't want to be with you at the moment

    • @trudance6
      @trudance6 Рік тому

      How do u know u were unblocked?

  • @nitin6096
    @nitin6096 Місяць тому

    She didn't do anything but blocked me everywhere

  • @nash1348
    @nash1348 Місяць тому

    I don't agree with you regarding the Favors part, my opinion some important expectional favors need to be done for the sake of just helping her..Specially if a man and his Ex have big history years togather.

    • @tankthearc9875
      @tankthearc9875 Місяць тому

      nope , let her new bf or dad help. dont be there for her once she dumped u

    • @nash1348
      @nash1348 Місяць тому

      @@tankthearc9875 Even, you do the real man act as if she is like any women, plus she might don't find that act on her new ones.

    • @raider1297
      @raider1297 29 днів тому

      ​@@nash1348Damn man you're a lost cause...the type of dude to do the favors and the woman and her girlfriends make fun of on their next girl's nights out for being a total dork😂
      C'mon man...any dignity left in there? If there is...please hold on to that and change.

  • @brittanylowery566
    @brittanylowery566 Місяць тому

    What if your ex does not want to move out of your home

    • @mawishi
      @mawishi Місяць тому

      Call the cops

  • @realtalk675
    @realtalk675 9 днів тому

    No this never happend to me

  • @Msnellyberry1
    @Msnellyberry1 Рік тому

    What to do or how to respond to his text “I miss you” when in no contact period?

  • @mathews0618
    @mathews0618 Місяць тому

    Ummm, dont talk to them at all

  • @raider1297
    @raider1297 29 днів тому

    Lol dude you're lost at 1:58
    "Get back to her later, let's see about another day"
    What?😂😂😂
    Buddy, you have to let it go if it's over. Any man that keeps contact with their exes, let alone be goofy enough to still entertain her about seeing her in any fashion, is getting played....hard.
    For the boys trying to actually be men: Just tell her the relationship is over and that you're not interested in keeping anything going. Be respectful but tell her that she needs to stop contacting you because you're simply not interested. You ever had someone you didn't like pursue you in a bit of an unhinged way? Treat this the same...because it is the same.
    So, move on, and actually go talk to girls and see what's out there for you. Instead of being her little lap dog by still entertaining her, because even if point 1 was to "not be her friend", when he expanded on point 3 he really showed himself up. If you're still entertaining her, then you're acting like a friend.

  • @nicholaswoodard9211
    @nicholaswoodard9211 13 днів тому

    I don't want you weirdo 😂

  • @XCVi_MAC
    @XCVi_MAC Рік тому

    We talk occasionally but she’s very dry and seeking validation.

    • @RoyaltyK
      @RoyaltyK Рік тому

      No need to water a dead plant 🌱 let it die

  • @dominikjt2216
    @dominikjt2216 Місяць тому

    my ex and I broke up 3 months ago, she blocked me on everything except a month later, she just unblocked me on whatsapp, what does that mean (the breakup was very nasty), possible miscarriage or abortion