The biggest habit building mistake
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- Опубліковано 31 гру 2022
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appreciate the fact that you posted this on new years while everyone is making their resolutions.
@Don't Read Profile Photo Gotchu
@Don't Read Profile Photo We won't
@Don't Read Profile Photo No problem bro, thanks for the warning.
@Don't Read Profile Photo all good
@Don't Read Profile Photo nice try
Bro with your help I quit drugs , am moving more ,drinking more water , sleep has improved and that’s the tip of the iceberg man. Thank you so much for all the help and advice you’ve given me over the months .I’m sure those who read this will see better days . Have hope brothers and sisters peace and love ❤
🙏
Congratulations! That’s absolutely epic, how exciting!
6 months late but serious kudos to you! That's so awesome!
How it's going
That's awesome, so proud of you!
*Whenever someone tries to quit something: for instance smoking. I always tell them;* _"You're not quitting, you're just not going to do it again. Quitting is not an action, doing it again is the action."_
The reason I tell people this, is because once they get back into the habit again, which is easy with smoking to just.. do it again once. And once people do something again they believe _their action of quitting_ has failed so now they best go back smoking again. But that isn't true. You didn't fail quitting, you just _did it again._ *So keep not doing it.*
Addiction is messed up. People quit for months and smoke just one and, because it's an addiction, they go back to smoking. So, when it comes to addiction vertical stacking is important
@@clysen8234 Yes. I also fall back into some bad habbits sometimes. I know if I start smoking again, I'll be looking after months of fallback. Quitting it takes a lot of time.
fuck. i never thought about that.
i have tried applying that in other instances (in that case nofap), but because i failed the action of quitting, therefore i should just go back to it
but obviously that's not true, and yeah that makes sense
that hit me deeply
In 2016 I was an unemployed, fat, single alcoholic living with my parents. Today I'm a fit, sober, married business owner living in a nice home. That change didn't happen in 30, 60 or 90 days. It took years, and I'm still evolving little by little each day.
That's inspiring. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for sharing this, i need to start building my roads.
This is actually such a good way to look at it, because when you mess up one time, you normally tell yourself that now you have to start all over and that would take a lot of courage and willpower again.
I agree. I've developed good habits this year not due to a magic number of days, but consistency and going back after "bad days" of eating out or not going to the gym some days. I have a stronger mentality where I exercise daily at gym and eat much healthier than I ever have, it's not perfect, but I don't want to be, I want to be the best me that I can be by trying to be a little bit better than who I was yesterday.
Lol this year has only been going for less than a day
Putting pressure on yourself to become a little better than the one you were yesterday is selfcoach bullshit. Just be yourself and life without thinking to much. Selfhelp crap is making people feel bad about themselves.
@@pietvelkens219 But I think there is merit in putting yourself through some discomfort in order to become a more wholesome person. Of course, if you feel yourself becoming strained, then it is okay to relax a bit, but self-improvement doesn't just come to you if you wait for it.
@@pietvelkens219 he actually made a video not long ago on that very topic ua-cam.com/video/jH1agWQSPbw/v-deo.html
Yeah. I believe the real rewiring and progress comes from how you respond and bounce back after slip ups or lapses in your habit building, as opposed to trying to be perfect and never relapse to begin with
Reflection:
I wish I heard this 2 years ago. June 2021, I was getting better mentally and physically. I lost 5kgs that time. Then there's a very bad day so I eat more than my calorie limit and then, a reunion with my friends in HS came up. I gained weight. I'm ashamed of going back to the gym and disappointing my trainers because of my fallback (I thought that all my progress was thrown in the trash) and my week of absence.
In MANY things in my life, this was my go-to:
Doing it and getting great/progress -> one bad time -> stopping and thinking I'm a failure -> A years later -> Step 1 again.
It's a cycle and maybe that's why I haven't moved from this line for years. I thought I was moving from that line but I haven't really.
This week I will try again and this time, I will remember what you said.
this hit home as i stopped going to the gym for 5 months and lost all my gains and goals just now starting again
The very best of luck to both of you. Been trying the same for 4 years lol, the weight just kept rebounding though as I went back to old habits eventually. Now I'm very optimistic about the next few months thanks to mindset changes.
The road analogy is how I explain neuroplasticity to my patients!!! I appreciate all the "Better Ideas" you bring to us. Happy New Year!
Hello, I would like your opinion on Neurofeedback, I have TBI and Im trying to solve it
0:40 I actually find mine is more a gradual slip into the bad habits which is even scarier because I barely notice it happening....
"Progress is not vertical" I love the way you phrase this - It's easy to get bogged down by one off events or returning bad habbits but I find the best way to overcome this is to take time to reflect on the progress I've made - I find this helps me not become discouraged in those negative moments but also continue to work on my goals or passion. Love your content, it's always super insightful and super helpful!!
Thank you Joey, I have so many bad habits that’s I’ve been battling against for years now and your videos always help me. I’m now at a particular crossroads where I’m having to sit some exams in my 30s to progress in my career (failed this exam twice now and due to resit again soon), having always struggled deeply with procrastination. I always felt so guilty at university because I never felt like I was fulfilling my potential, and when I managed to graduate successfully I was so relieved but felt like a bit of a fraud. Ironically I’m now in a career with many exams ahead, but the career gives me so much joy and fulfilment I think it’s worth finally trying to build those roads properly so I can be proud of myself. It’s so hard to come home after a hard day’s work and sit down to study day after day, but I’m trying to build those good habits/roads one brick at a time. Sometimes you fail, but as you said you keep building on your previous progress as best as you can. This video has given me another little burst of positivity and inspiration so thank you for that. Live by that mantra, inaction is a slow death.
The road is a great analogy for neural pathways. I dig it.
This clip NEEDS to be viewed multiple times. I come back to thie video often. It is helping me overcome my addiction.
I really needed to hear this again. This is why I return to your channel all the time whenever I feel down or need some motivation or simply want to be reminded of healthier things to keep in mind. Today I binge ate right after finishing a 2 day long fast, and although I used to go so much longer without meals, this once it just felt impossible to keep my mind off of food, however.. as i said, I binged again and... lightly saying, it upset me quite a lot for some reason. I got over it though by meditating and trying my best to not be harsh with myself about it and I succeeded. I realize how much your advices and a few other channels have helped me improve my mindset and learn to be on this journey with myself instead of having constant critical battles in my mind while trying to neglect every false step that i have taken. Instead I learn from it and avoid such mistakes in the nearest future possible. I see every new day as a new chance to forgive your past self even if it was yesterday and just start over with ease and no rush. Whether you read this or not, I am truly so grateful for your videos and I, as well as many others really appreciate your hard work to help others:)
I have stopped watching self improvement videos, but Joey´s videos are super valuable to me. He for some reason keeps my discipline in check and reminds me about the how and why. I currently have my gym thing going for me, my morning routine is in check, but for some reason my study and reading routine is pretty hard to establish. I also have a tendency to fall off track when ever I binge my old habits, the road example was very helpfull.
Thanks once again! :)
Sometimes it's necessary to hit rock bottom to make a change (which doesn't happen overnight). I used to think hitting rock bottom was to be avoided at all costs, but being in limbo is far worse because it made me stay stagnant and unhappy.
I’ve been trying to quit watching a certain “adult content” several times. I definitely find it easier to stop even if I slip up once in a while. I remember quicker that I don’t enjoy it and that I’m trying to break the habit. Happy New Year Joey! Here’s to new roads! 🥂
Teal swan has a video on how to quit poxn addiction. I highly recommend you to check it out. It'll help.
@@nothanks5162 Teal has so many helpful videos!
I've 'parasited' the bad road. Now I don't find it pleasurable at all anymore
It's nice to get a decent explanation for the things always lurking in my mind and thinking: could it be this or that way. Whenever i listened or participated in Resolution Planning coachings, they all try to squeeze in some sort of way to 'go through the pain and deal with the difficulties of vertical progress' while i felt that relapse is a thing to be considered and feels like a total stopping point, when you hear this forementioned idea.
I really enjoyed hearing your perspective and look forward to implement that more in my habit/general planning. 👍
"Atomic Habits" is pure gold. It changed my life in the best way
I needed this, this was really an inspiring message. I've been working on my journey for about a year and with bipolar disorder it's slow going, but I've graduated from PT, I have a new gym routine written by the doctor, I've gotten my hygiene routines going, a better daily schedule... It's slow for me but to say there's no progress would be a lie. So thank you. Sometimes when I think, I don't wanna do this, your motivations bounce around in my head and sometimes really give me the push I need to just do the thing.
So thank you!
Joey, congratulation on your hard work this last year. All your 2022 videos have been outsanding in quality. Here's for another year of amazing content. Keep it up!
Happy new year, This advice came at the right place and at the right time. Thanks
Progress over perfection.
Continuity over consistency.
Such a solid take away! love it
Thanks for everything you do Joey
Tony Robbins said something similiar in an interview. He was talking about this buddy he had who had been trying to give up cigarettes, and his buddy goes "I've gone nine days without a cigarette." Tony responds with "Why are you counting?"
You blew my mind when you said habits were like roads; I had never even stopped to think of it that way.
If I could subscribe to only one channel on this entire platform, it would be yours.
If you enjoy this channel, look at Dan Koe’s channel, he has some very good videos on similar topics! Good luck in 2023
@@Waawaaweewaa_ let's all do better than ever before ^^
This.
Still, probably one of the best channels on the platform with a net positive effect on people .. good stuff ..
Thank you for this, Joey! I am already two days into the new year, and totally needed this! Watching it, I can identify with a number of things you talked about. It's day 2 of the new year, and I can see more clearly the habits that are stopping me from laying the bricks in my road. ✌️
Thank you for your work, I always enjoy watching your videos
You have no idea how much I needed this video right now. It feels like it was speaking directly to me
Happy New Year Joey, here's to a wonderful 2023, you've helped me no end this past year, thank you so much for sharing 👍
We're not building a tower, we're building a road 💯
Man.....your videos are so on point. So easy to follow and relate to. Thank you. Really. THANK. YOU.
The road analogy was incredible!
This video genuinely resonated with me so much. I’m moving from Ohio to California very soon for art school and I’ve been struggling really hard recently with letting go of some of my awful habits and just buckling down 100% into art journey and fitness, which I know is what would make me happy. I leave in 3 days, and this video gave me so much peace. Thanks Joey, I can’t wait to keep building my road during this new chapter of my life!
This is by far the best advice on habits I’ve ever heard. Thank you, thank you.
New year and you put something out love it thanks
I’ve found your channel profoundly beneficial.
I greatly appreciate your efforts and being an articulate speaker.🙏
Absolutely illuminating- you have helped me immensely. Thank you!
Thanks again. Your insightful videos inspired me to break old habits.
This is so true and I’ve learned this from experience. If I have a sluggish day or an unsuccessful day, or even if I planned to do something but another thing took my priority (say there was an emergency) I just allow it and think… it’s okay. Tomorrow is a fresh start again and most things happen over time, not straight away. Especially mindset shifts. It’s not possible to wake up the next day and all of your doubts, fears and insecurities have disappeared in an instant. It takes time to overcome it and change. It’s a process. One bad day doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it just makes you a more humble human. Thank you for reminding people of this, Joey.
Thank you for the reminder and the notion of “vertical progress”. Some incredibly sage and timely advice, motivation and inspiration. Let’s build that road and smash through the roadblocks!
This makes the “top videos” playlist in my library, only 19 videos in there this one is FANTASTIC
This might be the best video to watch for the new year.
very well explained, logical and visual. not to mention so motivating. thank you, happy new year!
We loved this video, thank you very much! Been watching a lot of your content, thank you for a great channel!
A great message, just when I needed it. Thanks!
That's a really motivating way of seeing things. Thanks
My ADHD really affects me and every time recently I have been putting off doing Uni work or developing my art skills to build my platform - I go back to your videos and listen to your videos for a reset. Thank you for reminding me what progress is > doing everything I can to improve myself. I don't think you know how much good you are doing.
Thankyou Jimmy I needed to hear this.
Omg what a treat thank you for posting another video !!
I love you Joey. Happy new year.
your videos are helping me a lot these days
You don't know how much I owe you...been in depression for a long time and your videos are really helpful...
Though I know many of the things you say , it feels really good to know that I am right about atleast some things in life...
Thank you for all the great content you put out. I love this so much. Happy New Year.
This is so true, for studies as well as habits! I had to take a break from language learning a while back and that break turned into a LONG break and I was worried I was going to have to start from scratch again, but I've recently picked up my studies again and while I needed to brush up on everything I already learned, it was MUCH easier to learn it the second time because I'd already laid those bricks and now I just need to clear the weeds on what I already built so I can continue laying more bricks. Love this analogy so much. Thanks for sharing!
This video is extremely insightful and very motivating! Perfect timing for many of us starting to go full speed ahead on our "new road". Hunker down and dont be afraid of a few set backs along the way.
I respect you for uploading on the new year
love you joey happy new years ~
I needed this today. Reminds me that I actually have put some work into the road I want to travel, and nothing is keeping me from continuing to pave it. Thank you!
This kind of content is high quality. You are telling helpful mentally healthy life advice without looking for validation or promotion. Thank you for your content.
This is the exact same thing my therapist told me but much better explained. Thanks bro
this is so important, i'm sure this will help a lot of people, especially with the start of the new year !!
Your video always hit the target ❤️
and happy new year by the way
man what a content, you are a genius or maybe you just opened your eyes. THK for these videos, it's helpful hearing these words while we are in the right road!!
This guy really did help change my life for the better, appreciate that alot 💗
Thank you. I needed this.
That completely blew my mind! Thanks for the video!
Brilliant video Joey, the best I’ve seen from you! That analogy was spot on and definitely will be very helpful going forward 🚀
Thank you for creating such vivid imagery for your message. I like to think of the old road as getting overgrown with wildflowers. As cheesy as it sounds, beautiful things will happen when you let go and move on. Happy New Year! 💙
I am so glad I found your channel.. This video is turning out to be exactly the video I needed. I was myself obsessed on maintaining a streak recently..
I love you, man! Thank you so much for sharing this great perspective!
wow this is really motivational. i have been struggling with huge lifestyle changes for the past 4 months and i haven't been able to keep up with literally any of my routines but now that i am more settled i feel more confident knowing that trying to stick with them again could be easier than i thought. i also bought Atomic Habits a while ago and was almost afraid of reading it. now you motivated me to give it a read. thanks!
your videos was always so inspiring to me! thank you for making those and happy new year 🌟
I've never expected to be so blown away by a Perspective. Thank you, sir
This may have sounded really simple, but it actually helped me a lot. It made me see I am way too hard for myself (if I indeed fail for one time then I immediately tell myself I clearly can’t do it so maybe it’s better to just quit). While at the same time in so many things in life I DID succeed. And for all of them I needed time, and sometimes recovery from a set-back. So if I managed to change so many aspects in my life into something better, I can manage some more. Even if I fail sometimes.
Thanks Joey!!!!! ❤
Hey, i love seeing your bald head! @struthless is another channel I like that focuses on overall self improvement, and when either of your bald heads pop up on my feed its an instant watch.
Great video :) been watching a while now, you really help me gain the right perspective of how to go about life in general. I missed out on many life skills as a kid because of trauma and undiagnosed adhd.
In my late 20s now and finally figuring things out. Thank u so much for making videos because the impact youve had on my life alone has been significant. Learning to love and accept myself and be more mindful of behaviors and actions etc., which is what your videos allow me to do, and then processing and making goals of how to accomplish or positively change behaviors with outside professional help.
My life the past 4 months has been changing drastically. I had an epiphany and my health was at its worst. This clarity and rude
awakening lead me to your channel. You give me all the advice and lessons that I missed as a kid because of add or missed because my primary parent was mentally ill and never ever seeked proper care.
Finally got myself to comment, sorry for ramble, its early but if i didnt post this now i never will.
Thank you for being in my life. I know im not the only guy in their late 20s starting to figure life out, and having even a few hours of guidance from you has led to monumental changes.
Thank you. ❤
Amazing content and super amazing timing. Thank you so much!
This was really helpful. Visualising these huge life choices in a more abstract way a really useful skill for success. Thanks for the vid 👍
This one was brilliant. Game changing way of looking att habit building, for me at least. I will be using this thinking from now on. Thanks Joey.
Yes! This is exactly what I needed to hear. I love the "constructing a new road" analogy. It really brings things into perspective
Thank you for this video. I really needed to hear this now.
This upload was earlier than your usual pace, thanks 👍
I really liked your Jenga tower and road analogy!
Thank you so much! This perspective really is helpful, and the truth
The imagery and metaphors really sold me. I wish I could talk to you in person.
I am truly grateful for your valuable videos. Thank you so much Joey. This will help me so much in not giving up on my habits. I will listen to the book I you recommended, even if it will take me a long time to finish it, hopefully I won't give up.
Great video as always man, listening to these ideas is really changing my way of seeing things and therefore changing my life. Thank you for that.
Can't express how much this channel has given me, really put me onto creating content and also sharing what I have learnt 🙏🏾
For the first time since i entered adulthood a decade ago, i’ve now been 6 months sober and i have survived temptation from all the holidays, with friends and family that idolize drinking, whilst working at a fancy booze shop the whole way through. I also didnt remove any alcohol from my house. What changed this time around? From the start, I never made 3, 6, or 12 months as any sort of goal. Anytime anyone asked, I told them I didnt have a goal. I just wanted to wake up the next day and feel more stable than yesterday. I went through mind altering depression last year and drank (caffeine to get up, alcohol to put down) every single day just to “cope.” All I knew was I was spinning my wheels in the mud, waiting for something to pull me out. But the answer was right in front of me. I stopped my habits cold turkey, understood and faced the withdrawals head on, and just kept the mindset that I just wanted to go day by day and try to feel better after each one. No hard limits, no quantifiable goal. It just works for me.
great video once again 🎩 i like the road analogy - couldn't agree more!
Thank you, James Clear. Really loved your book!
Hi Joey happy New Years holy crap dude thank you for uploading another vid so soon
You explain some really obvious things in such a good manner. Cuz the point is that everything you talk about in this video is pretty useful and I knew it. But somehow u changed my attitude again. So thank u so much man
I like to think about it like a river, you have a river which is a metaphore fore your life, and each habit is another little river that joins your river, adds water, and makes you go easier and faster, eventualy you might go over a dam and continue.
Thank you. I hadn’t heard this theory before. Makes sense and I hope it motivates me to more quickly return to the good road when I find myself on the bad road after a bad day.
Glad you pointed out that a Bad Habit and an Annoying Habit are two very different things.
Annoying Habit of mine is forgetting to check the mail or pissing in the shower out of habit over the toilet.
Bad Habit of mine is more personal, but it's also inescapable and borders on an addiction but I don't allow it to escalate to a wholely unsafe level. I still wish I could go days clean without it sometimes, but I thought that'll ever happen tbh
whats wrong with pissing in the shower?
Literally everything 😂 other people also want to take the shower and you stand in your own piss
Happy new year and thanks for your content
Thank you for the insight sir. Hope you have a great New Years.
Progress is not vertical.
This reminds me of the picture that describes “showing up”, the most important thing is to show up, it doesn’t really matter that you showed up at 5% or at 95% - just show up.
Happy New Year 🎊🎆