r/HFY TFOS# 459 - This is Why No One Plays With Humans by chipathing (Hfy/Sci-Fi Reddit Stories)
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- Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
- Original Story :
/ this_is_why_no_one_pla...
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Greetings Ladies and Mentlegents and welcome to my channel where I like to make LEGAL Audiobooks of various types from web novels and short stories. If you are new to the channel then click on the information icon for the entire playlist to help get you up to current faster.
This Oneshot was Taken from the HFY subreddit which hosts mostly Sci-Fi based short stories called oneshots and series.
As Always i hope you enjoy and can find some content on my channel you like. Feel free to recommend a series or a story and i will have a look into it.
{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:22 This is Why No One Plays With Humans by chipathing
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Thank you all for listening and your support.
This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
This is also a Science Fiction story ,What is Science Fiction?
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Science fiction (sometimes shortened to sci-fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life. It has been called the "literature of ideas", and often explores the potential consequences of scientific, social, and technological innovations.
Science fiction, whose roots go back to ancient times, is related to fantasy, horror, and superhero fiction, and contains many subgenres. However its exact definition has long been disputed among authors, critics, and scholars.
Science fiction literature, film, television, and other media have become popular and influential over much of the world. Besides providing entertainment, it can also criticize present-day society, and is often said to inspire a "sense of wonder".
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Taken from Wikipedia
Greentext \tg\ , what does it mean?
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A popular device used for quotation and storytelling.
This began on the *chan imageboards, where quoting text places a Less or Greater than symbol in front of it, turning it green. This effect can also be done manually. Before long, this feature was put to innovative use. When quoting another post, greentext is frequently used for summary, criticism, and ridicule. Its other major use is storytelling, in which a lengthy story is told through fragmentary statements in greentext.
Greentext became highly popular for both of these functions due to its convenience. When quoting a post, it is easier to summarize than to respond in full. When telling a story, stringing together sentence fragments is a grammatically easier alternative to prose composition (it also makes for lighter reading).
This feature has become so widespread that it is sometimes used outside of imageboards (eg UA-cam comments).
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Taken from Urban Dictionary
#Hfy #Scifi #NArration - Розваги
AOE is a perfectly balanced game with no exploits
TheSpiffingBrit
It is now canon that TheSpiffingBrit became disenfranchised after UA-cam struck down his channel due to pressure from alien game making companies/game tournaments and thus he changed his name to Dave to infiltrate and piss off the aliens.
@@Loregamorl If it was said that Dave was drinking yorkshire tea I would 100% agree that Dave was spiffing in disguise.
To be fair he has no idea how to play AoE3. He tried to use an island map, which are multiplayer only.
YES, ABSOLETLY YES! This right here!
Tbh i expected for Dave to say something along the lines of "I probably should've told you that I have over 5000 hours in stelaris" at the end
Same got more in total war and hoi4
When you become Crisis.
Galactic Civilization sounds more like it in all honesty. It is a more complicated Space Age Civ game than Stelaris.
Dave had been playing the same game for year it went by a different name. They should have figured something was up when he caught on to how to play an alien game so quickly.
The second they said Dave took low tech world's I KNEW.
All HAIL THE ZERG RUSH!!!
The low worth worlds of plenty. Very much worth the chaos
In magic the gathering parlance, Dave was running a weenie deck!
It doesn't matter how nice your guns are. All that matters is how dead your enemies are.
true
A simple 9mm kills an enemy just as dead as a laser rifle. But if there are ten thousand more troops for every one you can kill, those laser guns don't mean anything.
Well said
Ye
indeed dont matter if its shiny or not..only if its effective ;)
"if we throw enough humans into their bullets, they will soon run out of bullets..."
That's the moral of the story...
thats exactly how humans tend to fight too.
@@ejedwards1678 Replication is part of the scientific process. Humans know a lot about exploiting systems.
Zapp Brannigan approves
Russian military strategy 101.
Comrade Stalin approves of your tactics from his pit in hell.
Aliens: We have the greatest, and most powerful fleets ever created, Human. They took centuries to build and they will annihilate all things!
Human: All my ships can be summarized into a Cockpit, and engine, and a gun. Let me introduce you to a little concept we call "Attrition Warfare".
Zerg rush go bbbbrrrrr
Quantity has a Quality all it's own.
krieg war doctrine go brrrr...then recruits zergs and go BRRRRRR
Guardsmen go "BRRRRT!"
You forgot fuel :D
"except Dave, frick Dave!"
Made me laugh for a while
"And he still was fricken smiling"
Made me laugh even longer
:)
@@AgroSquerril
Great stories btw TFOS is my favorite
@@WeevilLover9000 glad you enjoy
: > )
Dave externally: still fricken smiling.
Dave internally: I’m going to wwii you bros.
"Dave kept on smiling" Always my favorite line in this story.
hey , he was having fun
Every time my wife head that line, she just chuckled.
@@douglasmcneil8413 that has put an image in my mind please make it go away
@@lupaswolfshead9971 That was supposed to say heard. I blame the keyboard for that one. 😆
Say it with me *the Soviets proved high tech in modern warfare doesn’t mean shit when your facing hordes of men and steel*
“If you throw enough people at the bullets eventually they will run out of bullets”
And the Ukrainian forces are currently proving the uselessness of heavy battle tanks versus fire and forget guided missiles, and an armed civilian militia.
While their logistics needed help for it to work, it is a perfectly valid strategy
You issue each of your soldiers with 200 rounds for his gun? We issued 500 soldiers for each of yours.
There is a limit to that strategy. The Russians are finding it now.
Yea, and the problem with the Soviets, and the current Russians, is that they also have the modern tech.
Dave's smile seems to be contagious since I'm smiling.
that's always good
Now im laughing, and i didnt here it yet
Agreed
Way to go DAVE, now everyone is sick, fuck you Dave.
Iirc someone commented something about "spamming trash units" on someone else's video read-through of this story, and of its sequel where he goes full Tyranid in the second game.
So we went from swarm tactics to... SWARM tactics?
@@confusedlemur12 he used FTL artillery to shoot a self replicating nano machine swarm onto opponent planets so yes SWARM tactics
I think this was the first HFY narration that I ever listened to.
Welcome to the family
It was but the first. it won't be the last.
This... I've heard this story before... But who cares! It's still good as ever.
*More~*
I’m sure you’ve read or heard of said sequel…
*_Cocky Grin…_*
Dave's motto, "Quantity has a Quality all it's own."
Well, Dave was clearly playing the Anchient Human Tactic, called "Zergrush" ^^
So Civilization meets Starcraft....and Dave is a master of both games it seems. Those poor poor fools
As we find out in the sequel story, Dave is a master because he actually understands strategy while everyone else is just using cookie cutter builds that they don't really understand in depth. I've watched Starcraft videos where exactly this situation plays out (albeit between two players); the player that understands strategy and unconventional builds absolutely trounces players using "unstoppable" cookie cutter builds.
@@noppornwongrassamee8941 Asymmetrical warfare at its finest
Stellaris player in nutshell, Corvette torpedo spam or spinal battleship blob.
I see Dave was was using Orks tactic's from Warhammer 40k and Soviet tech . Enough Dakka can solve any problem. If Dakka does not work , bring more Dakka to overwhelm the foe.
Prepare for wah.
WUUUUAAAAAAGGGGGHHHGHHHGHHGGGHHHGGHHH
@@confusedlemur12 (silent "wuuuuuaaaaagggghhhh" from the purple ork in the back)
if you got a problem, use a gun, if that don't work, use more gun.
" Big E's quote from TTS series when he was asked *how much dakka is enough?* "
Yeah *enuff dakka* can probally make chaos gods cease to exist
not only dave but it would also have worked for the SW empire had they not wasted so many resources on megastructure-follies with glaring weaknesses. imagine every rebel strike being responded to by 20-50 rapid reaction carriers bearing swarms of tie fighters/bombers
not many places left to retreat to when you have that sort of pursuit force after you.
This was hilarious. Reminds me of my 2 year long, every weekend game of Axis and Allies I had going with a friend. I couldn't win because he was figuring out his purchases using excel spreadsheets and advanced formulae that I didn't understand, and I am a lead designer for a power engineering firm.
I kept waiting for one of the aliens to rush into his core world, only to find it empty, and shout, "Dave's not here, man!"
Go it Dave, you did us proud lad.
Humans playing this game: *chuckles in stellaris meta building*
i already heard this but i'll still watch the video.
Much appreciated
@@AgroSquerril I also have heard this one before, but I love the story. Did you do Humans are Cheating Bastards? I would love to hear that one again too.
@@MaitlandJones BLAMMO ua-cam.com/video/HXFoR7Uljqs/v-deo.html
Humans: We are the Hord, We are the Zerg, we are all the swarms that we have created in our fantasies as well as all the horrors! Our imagination is our limit and let me tell you, I can imagine a lot of ships!
Thrift shopping battlefleet.
Xeno was battling Macklemore.
Quantity has a quality all to itself, and when you can, make sure that your forces are built around force multipliers so that all “numerically fair” fights are not fair at all. Then use all that you can to be a sneaky bastard, because the only fair fight is the one you lose.
If you aint cheating you aint trying
My thing is this, quantity will never truly surpass quality, but numbers do count. Quality doesn't mean a damn thing if you can't field enough of it, or replace it fast enough when, not if, you lose something. The trick is to balance quality and quantity as well as you can and use the strengths of both to balance out the weaknesses of both.
Based Dave refitting old ship hulls like a true hoi4 meta player lmao
So humanity has been preparing for galactic warfare since the rise of PC games? Maybe even before that? Someone's probably written that story - I wonder if our host has read it?
Wow dave just went Imperial Guard using the Imperial navy
The Dollar General strategy of winning.
Cant wait this stories a good one!
It's hard for your enemies to get to you when you put a wall of ordinance between you.
Who are these men you would send us against, who compete in their games not for wealth, but for honor?
Plutarch (also probably alien aoe players)
One fights for what one lacks most.
Dave learned well the lessons of WW2
Lol the tried and true Russian tactic of just chucking shit at the enemies and drowning them in bodies
After all, quantity has a quality all its' own.
Drown them in our bodies and blood!
I remember a similar exploit under specific situation in StarCraft 1 mass overlords the easiest way to win a game is to break it.
This is like the opposite of Halo's human-covenant war.
Dave is smiling, but im laughing
Ah, yes. The legend of Dave. I enjoy this one...
:)
Lol... I wondered where Dave met these guys hehe I wonder if Dave is part Korean...
This is like the 3rd time I've listened to this story,
I want to play this game.
:)
It’s basically Stellaris
Dave: I have no social life, I've beaten Hoi4 endsieg in 1945 with expert ai, i did it with Japan and Germany, did it with the Soviets in 41, do not trifle with my knowledge or you'll be drown under a wave of conscripts
Let a high-level StarCraft player at the game and watch their heads explode!
I like this story. It gets batter with part two!!
Where can I find part 2?
Where can I find part two?
This is the story that got me into HFY
Reminds me of playing VGA Planets, back in the day. Except my wife was "Dave".
As someone who always goes “tall” with high tech and high economy in 4x I also say “frick Dave”. I hate Zerg rush. 😅
I see Dave went the liberty ship route then.
A good economy is the backbone of any army
Zerg v protoss lol
FTA
For the algorithm
guy in my gaming group won lots of strategy games with the theory that the highest economy wins most of the time.
This reminds me of playing AOE back in the day and building nothing but elephant archers, balista, catapults, walls, balista towers, and then starting a wonder for the wonder victory.
There would be so many projectiles flying across the map is caused lag. By the time the lag cleared so were the enemies.
keeper going
Have you ever heard of "minmaxing"?
Thank You for the reading
This has to be one of the best
This got me thinking of old games and I found Steam has the Master of Orion games. Hail the algorithm.
Super Dave Osborne!
Yay thanks for reading this.
Sounds like a paradox game, no need to pay with resources when I become a crisis. Hahahaha
And still, Dave kept smiling!😁 An expensive military is a vulnerable one. Dave stocked up on cheap used sruff, and cheap off the shelf tech, which left him enough money to retrofit his military with some better quality weapons. At the same time, he was able to field large numbers of the cheap ships, and supply them with lots of cheap ammo. Which would you rather face, a modern hand gun or AR 15, or a well maintained old gatling gun with plenty of ammo belts? Good intel is always helpful and will save money and lives down the line.
Hence why one of his first major investments was in counter intelligence. Keep the other side from knowing as much about you as you can, and do your best to ensure that what they know will not give them the full picture.
Dave ! David lister ?
many years ago, my friends and I were avid players of Axis and Allies. The first time I took Russia, my friend who had taken Germany pulled the classic blunder of trying to destroy the UK. I sat there, round after round after round amassing men. Just men, no tanks, no planes, and no ships. When the German player finally looked east, I had a wall of men amassed on the border. Then he made the mistake of attacking...
Ahhh for the swarm!
There is always another possible route to victory.
yup
I really like this story!
For the algorithm!
For the algorithm
Dakka, always more dakka.
pew pew
Accuracy by volume. F&$?, i love dave’s plan…😅
Humanity: is it dead yet? No? USE MORE GUN
Sounds fun.
Do not underestimate Murder Primates ™️ !!!!
Good I love this one so much ch
glad you enjoeyd
"Welcome to Starsector"
- Some guy
What? Dave didn't say, "You mad, brah?"
The WW2 USSR / Zerg tactic FTW
"do you want to play a game?"
WarGames (3/11) Movie CLIP - Shall We Play a Game? (1983) HD
sorry i got the quote wrong.
Dave subscribed to the axiom - quantity has a quality all its own.
WWII’d
Using a horrendous Russian accent "you see komrad, i dont need fire power if you cant dodge bullets"
EOA game is basically space monopoly.
It takes forever to actually win and everyone leaves mad!
Wait so it takes years to play this game or am I just stupid
Edit: I’m a fricking idiot and should sacrifice the comment to the algorithm
For the algorithm
I think it might have been ingame years
I think it's in alien years.
Frick Dave that's why
There are no dangerous weapons only dangerous people who use weapons
Human total war vs alien total war.
Mmm, Infantry doctrine.
The key to war is industrial output. Quality is important, but only in the right measure. Sherman tank anyone?
Blessed be the algorithm
For the algorithm
Someone needs to make this a game irl on a board or disk or download and make it happen
Soooo, like and enhanced version of Stellaris?
@@SpectorOfDoomYT
There is only 2 ways to Play stellaris.
Be a inwardperfectionist, isolated from the Rest of the Galaxy
Become the physical Manifestation of "WAR CRIMES"
@@lenschwedt9646 we don't use the term war crime, we use the term war ender.
@@frozenheartedgiant8330
What do you mean this isnt an Area-denial-weapon?
It clearly denied them this Planet!
@@lenschwedt9646 In galactic scale that planet cracker is just a hand grenade.
What does he mean by smash-oh I see
This is litterally how I play Star Ruler....
For the algorithm 👽👾🤖🌌🛰🚀🛸🌠
aliens...plays combat...
dave...plays strategy and tactics...
also.. difference between own thinker commanders and the ones that sure read a lot of 'meta' but bairly can think of a course of action on ther own..
Quality trumps Quantity.
.
But as the Russians would say, "Quantity has a Quality of its own."
Oh neat, they play stellaris
anybody know where to find the apparent sequel to this?
as far as I know this on is the sequel , here is the first one. ua-cam.com/video/HXFoR7Uljqs/v-deo.html
This was actualy my firsst hfy (read by nfy who also did the second one)
Cool
@@AgroSquerril quite
To please the algorithm
This is actually the low key biggest problem for the American military. They lose to the overrun so consistently they banned the method in war games 😂
Plasma weapons in space actually should compensate for fuel expenditure and fuel acceleration that has to be equated to not just generate a puff. Anything thrown must be able to maintain that reaction against the distance crossed. Modified kinetic weapons would achieve this through sub-core materials. Plain plasma makes no sense from any truly logical perspective. The sub core must maintain any plasmic reaction. The core is designed for penetration or fragment sown penetration. Scifi fails on certain fronts but is so entertaining plot wise to not discard.
A true mass driver has reactant fuel accelerated to sub or FTL+.
Anybody else think that this is space risk
Win by zerg rush