1. Giving gifts too many times 2. love text too much daily to the level uncomfortable 3. Lifting and bringing down in the same time 4. Demanding attention/make them prioritize every moment 5. Not giving space/ overwhelmed
There was one guy who had a crush on me who called me more times then I was comfortable with, but it was the only thing on the list he did. He was a really nice guy, I just didn't feel the same way about him and didn't want him getting overbearing with the calls.
Me... with my ex. The problem was that i wasn't manipulative.... her mother was, but i didn't want to separate them. The relationship was flawed from the beginning.
@@Psych2go Hm. I don't really know what I'd call "too much" on the recieving end. But I do tend to worry a lot whether I give people I love more attention than they would appreciate, if that makes any sense. Do I text too often? Does it bother them when I hug them a lot? Do I stare too long? Would they rather not get a fat bunch of goofy memes in the middle of the night? Is it weird when I want to accompany them on errands? Do I touch them too much? Do I smile too much? Will it make them uncomfortable if I buy them this cute nonsense? At what point does complimenting them go from nice to awkward? I don't want to end up not making them feel loved just because I don't know. I will try my best to read people's boundaries better.
@@Danka42they should appreciate it more since nowadays no one does this lol I would appreciate it tho. I would see this as a real friend in my life compared to others which never text me and compliment me even though I don’t do anything wrong?
@Danka42 what you’ve said was me recently. I’m close to this friend of mine. It’s weird because i thought I learned enough to control myself for being too nice and sweet from past relationships. But with my friend I tried to step back when I feel too caring and too thoughtful. I like hugs, but with him it’s difficult because I sense some tension. So I even asked for permission. Lol one more thing with him is that when I move away a little he then sends me a barrage of texts and pictures and memes trying to get my attention any time of the day. And when I do the same he backs off a little. I’m super confused. It’s always been like this. It’s a cycle. Toxic in a way. I don’t know how to move on. But recently i ended this nonsense. He was trying to hangout with me last week for the whole day. I said I can’t because I have a doctors appointment with my family. He said it’s fine. And then when I was out later that day and he just showed up. So I was happy and gave him a hug. That was that. We hangout for like 3 hours then call it a day. We hugged again when we separated. He was quiet the following day. Till nighttime I asked if everything’s okay. He said yeah. I asked if I’m acknowledging him too much and if im being too close. And then he suddenly said yeah it’s okay. You can acknowledge me and all. But don’t touch me. I was like whaaaat??? I was so confused. I never touched him inappropriately or anything under the belt. I felt so horrible for him to say that. I cried the whole night and decided to end the friendship. Then I talked to our mutual friend which is his close friend even before me and learned that he has some ptsd with getting too close. I was like maybe you should’ve warned me or he could’ve said it personally to me or something. But really it’s too late for that. That was the last straw for me. It’s a toxic relationship even from the very start.
@@danixoxo3180 I am very sorry you feel this way. Perhaps, if your friendships are otherwise fine, it might be something to just straight up ask for? People can care about you without realizing what you need from them and if they're your friends, they won't mind texting or complimenting you, once they know it would mean a lot to you. As for "appreciating" it from me... I understand it might _seem_ great when written down. I understand if this sounds like what you're missing, you'd assume this is great for everybody. But people express their affection in all kinds of ways; I cannot recommend enough _The Five Love Languages,_ the book that made me finally believe my parents and my brothers do, in fact, love me, they're just not huggers. I had no idea that was even a thing. For me it feels like the most natural thing to touch people all the time, for them it can feel invasive. I can offer spending time together, but most of my friends have tighter schedule than me and to make time for me they might need to plan around it for days, so asking them randomly to go get ice cream is putting them in the awkward position of having to refuse and now I made them feel guilty without even knowing. Eye contact can be really uncomfortable to some people, plus I have an unfortunate habit of not blinking much. I may think this gift is perfect for them, but in reality it's a piece of plastic crap that will make them smile for one second and then collect dust until they finally toss it. I want my loved ones to always know I admire them and that they kick ass, but it might come off as insincere or it's something they're not really proud of. (As a teen I used to compliment people for being really thin. I'm fat and I had no idea there is such thing as wishing you were chunkier.) Those dorky memes are eating away at my brother's data plan. What I'm saying is, the thought counts, but it's not _all_ that counts. Just because I mean well doesn't mean I can't still make people wish I _didn't._
Timestamps 1). It's always your birthday... kinda 0:52 2). The text-aholic 1:39 3). The Katy Perry 2:31 4). Why aren't you paying attention to me 3:13 5). That doesn't work for me 4:12 6). No breathing space 5:09 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I’m always watching your videos to check up on my own personality, to make sure I’m not toxic or unhealthy to others. This has helped, and I’m not a love bomber, at least according to this video. I will continue to look out for the one I love.
We're glad you're using our videos to make sure that you're staying mentally healthy and that you're not a love bomber! As for your search for the one you love, how has that been going?
I am finally blessed with a best friend who is very respectful of boundaries as well, and has stated her boundaries to me as well. I was like, "she's not afraid to tell me what's what but she's nice about it. I need to keep her around!" My best friend from college with the same way, thankfully. We simply drifted apart because after we graduated we just got busy and other places. We're always happy to see each other in passing.
love bombing not only applies to just romantic relationships but also in friendship and other relations.... we all have to realise healthy space and boundaries for relations to last...
Just broke up with someone who checks off all these boxes. Its reassuring to know that my reaction to the overbearing and possessive behavior wasn't unnatural, since I've been beating myself up over it for the past few days.
I’m with you! Just broke up with a nice guy who was smothering me. He wouldn’t take NO! for an answer. Showing up uninvited, planning our future, declaring his undying love. That was within 2 WEEKS! Creepy!!
My fear of being too affectionate, “love bombing” or being too distant has often caused me to not pursue romantic relationships. 😔 It has only occurred to me in the last couple of years that every potential partner’s needs and desires are different. There is no textbook “middle ground”. ✌️
And you can't win either. Nothing you can do will ever help. It's too much. It's not enough. People leave you for no reason. You try to prove that you aren't that kind of person. It doesn't matter in the end. The concept of love is a failed ideology, like communism.
Making you feel guilty also looks like the person feeling like a victim when you have your own friends, family, hobbies or alone time and expressing this through words or even things as subtle as body language or small actions that create that suggestion in you that it's youre fault or you're the prob. "if your intuition/instincts tell you something is wrong, listen to yourself and look for help"
First thought I really could have needed the video the past three years ,but your comment would have been even better :-: But I bet even then I wouldn't have listened to myself...
Oh man, thank you so much for posting this one! I've been in a love bombing relationship for almost a whole year and finally broke it off only for them to backlash at me and have their friends become rude toward me..I waited a year before getting into another relationship and after roughly a month I started noticing a lot of love bombing but he wasn't "aggressive" but purposefully ignorant toward the problems..So with a heavy heart I broke up. This video helped me see there WAS clearly a problem in both and going to be continuing to observe red flags instead of be blind to them. Thank you! this was very helpful confirmation.
I'm ashamed to say this, but this video made me realise i was unintentionally overstepping my boundaries with my partner. I want to improve myself, so I'll try to stop. I will talk about this with her, and probably apologise if i made her uncomfortable.
100% talk to her first. Everybody gives and wants to recieve affection in different ways. Some people like the adoration of being "love bombed" This video is honestly really bad for villainising affection while the real toxic traits are lack of communication, manipulation and lack of respect of bounderies. With proper communication and respect "love bombing" can never be a issue and it's honestly a word you should forget. Putting a mental block on the way you give affection is really unhealthy. As long as you can adjust to what your partner wants when they ask you too there is nothing you can do wrong
@@KiallVunMyeret Agree. With people avoiding "catching feelings" just showing some emotion seems to be classified as "love bombing" since the video said "if you don't like high levels of attention" or whatever
I got a flag of unintentionally love bombing someone to answer that "am I love bombing?" anxiety. If your loved one answers to "how was your day" with a detailed report of her daily routine instead of "great", "bad" or "boring" and then highlights stories if there are. There is a flag to slow down. Another sign is to ask yourself "can my loved one slow down, make space or even break up without me passing the bill of all the gifts and gestures?"
Love bombing sounds good on paper, but it’s so hard to deal with. I’ve been love bombed and you don’t know why, but you’re exhausted. How can I be tired of someone else constantly telling me how much I mean to them, buying me snacks at the store, and inviting me to every social thing they go to, and more importantly, how do I tell them it’s too much? For me, she love bombed me AND she kept score. All the little things she did for me were things I should be doing back, and that was unhealthy too. I tried once to tell her it was too much and she thought I was asking for distance and telling her I didn’t love her any more. I never found a way to deal with it. I hope that whoever is reading this and getting love bombed figures it out
It's not hard to deal with at all. "Hey i love you but it's been a bit much and i need some space to breathe and do my thing" That's it. Simple communication If they respond negativily to that the problem is with their lack of respect of your bounderies, not the love bombardment
I told everyone the love bombing was excessive but everyone toned it down… I even had to rationalise it! I will always follow my intuition going forward ❤!
@@KiallVunMyeret While I agree with the advice, sometimes it's hard to risk a relationship, even if it might be wrong for you. I hope anyone reading this will be strong enough to set healthy boundaries and move on if needed!
I've noticed sometimes it's also an ADHD thing as well or sometimes just wanting to show our partner we appreciate them, or if they struggle feeling loved just a friendly reminder. But as long as it's done in a healthy way I think it can be a good thing, but everyone views it differently then someone else.
I've experienced a lot of horrible and inhumane things in my past and since then I've done a lot of love bombing to people to the point of spending more on them than on me because I want to make people happy, a happiness that I don't have. could have had as a child so yeah..I do love bombing even I know sometimes it's bad for my mental health and others because I even manipulate them to make them happy..but my very sad.. Anyways, awesome video, keep it up
If you've been watching a lot of romantic movies recently😎 What if you’re the love bomber? Here is what you can do: 👍 Engage in self-reflection. Love-bombing is a hard habit to stop. The most crucial thing you can do is acknowledge the consequences of love-bombing and take steps to avoid repeating these behaviors. 👍 Think of some patterns of behaviors that you would like to change. Wanting an exciting romance is completely normal. But being disingenuous is not. For instance, do you tend to "mirror" your partner’s interests to make them think you are a perfect match? Is having the upper hand in your relationship a necessity for you? 👍 Be open with your partner. Don’t hesitate to ask your partner if your behavior is excessive or hurtful. If they say it is, try your best to avoid becoming defensive. Good Luck!
I used to, feel like sometimes i love bombed in the starting of a relationship. Well not as a abuser. It was a learning experience as i was well new to dating was possibly my second relationship. Glad to know i changed my ways, and i am now a better person.
My love always tries his best to lift me up, but he also gives me advice and keeps me on my toes, I thought it was love bombing but I’m glad it’s not, thank you Psych❤
Thanks for this! I tend to send my best friend a lot of messages(Gifs and images on Instagram) like "You are important", "You are awesome" every single day. I think it's some sort of a trauma response to abandonment or a fear of abandonment, so I'm gonna stop doing that from now on.. Thanks again! Edit(just read the comments): I don't do any of the other stuff, nor do I expect my friend to message me such stuff either, but I'll stop doing this anyways.
I would just have an honest conversation with your best friend about your concern of maybe doing things that are overwhelming.. you risk making your friend think something is wrong by stopping behavior you've been doing for a while. If you are honest and vulnerable you can build deeper trust and intimacy in your friendship. Ask your friend if you are making them uncomfortable..tell them about this video you saw and the insecurity that perhaps you are behaving in a way that may be coming across negatively..
@@AJourneyBackToEden Yeah! I plan on telling my friend about this, sending them the video and properly communicating about it, before I stop sending those messages. Thanks for the comment!
@@hajimen7559glad to hear you're going to talk to your friends about it before choosing to stop sending them love over a single video. I honestly think this video is a terrible message. Every person gives and want to recieve affection differently and you shouldn't have to put mental blocks on yourself out of fear of it being to much. Give the affection you want to give and if it's too much then it's up to the reciever to properly communicate it.
@@KiallVunMyeret Yeah, While I understand what you're saying, many people who are with toxic and abusive partners end up staying with them due to love bombing and thinking "they aren't so bad". I guess this video is more relevant for the people in those circumstances.
@@hajimen7559 Yeah i can see that, but just because love bombing is used to cover up bad traits doesn't make love bombing a bad trait. Just like how parents can spoil their children by buying them gifts but that doesn't make every parent who buys something for their kids bad. I feel like they overely villainized giving affection instead of the actual toxic traits. The mayority of the people who love bomb are just people who are overwhelmed with genuinly being in love and all it takes is a single convertation to leave some breathing room. I think that making a video that makes people second guess if they should give affection in a world where affection is becoming very few and far between gives of a very bad message
Here are the time stamps! Have a wonderful day! 0:54 I. It's always your birthday, Kinda 1:40 II. The Text-aholic 2:31 III. The Katy Parry 3:13 IV. Why aren't you paying attention to me? 4:13 V. That doesn't work for me 5:10 VI. No breathing space
I definitely did this with a girl before but I wasn’t trying to be manipulative we just connected really well and I grew an attachment to her and also loved bombed to her.I did Way too much and our relationship was an absolute train wreck the more I cared the less she did which created a power shift in me putting in more effort for her,constantly chasing behind her like a lost puppy.The crazy part is I never done anything like this before I’ve dealt with women before and definitely wanted to impress/please them in certain ways but I wouldn’t say I loved bombed like I did with this one.With other girls if they ended the relationship it would hurt a bit but I was able to move on easier and not think of them as much as this one.Right now I’m currently working on my issues and trying to become a better man in general.
I learned this lesson very early on in my childhood because of the episode of Spongebob where Mr Krabs starts crushing on Mrs. Puff and he keeps making Spongebob run to the store to buy expensive gifts with his credit card. And by the end of the episode, Mrs. Puff is surrounded by lots of expensive gifts and feeling VERY awkward lol
This is a great video for people who have gone through an abusive relationship and to know the signs or to also understand what “too much” looks like. On the other hand this is a horrible video for people who are genuinely loving and affectionate because it villainizes the natural desire for giving and receiving affection. More often than not they can’t defend themselves from an accusation of love bombing because any defense will confirm the suspicion in someone’s head. When they’re just very genuine people. I’ve also seen people ignore the other manipulative and abusive part of the word and simply focus on just the too much affection part which is fine but don’t half ass the definition when it has bad connotations attached.
I’ve seen some stories of love bombing. It’s ridiculous that one person is can be controlling to their partners. It’s a sign that a relationship won’t last. Hope I don’t end up like at.
Thank you so much, I use these vids so often to ensure the safety of whoever I like. I'm scared of being too much on them all at once. I get far too excited and start going crazy😬
4:08 a quick note: Even with this, the other can even also ask to come along with them so they can enjoy the dinner with the friend together, and that works just as well!
Welp turns out being nice to your partner and genuinely trying to spend time with them and be there for them despite how difficult the 11th year has been for the both of us is a bad thing. Despite how perfect things started of and went with a few bumps along the way, I never for once stopped thinking "Damn, she's the one, she's perfect". Its been a few days since she broke up with me and I still can't believe how it went down. Watching your videos do help me kinda cope with it.
Love and obsession is not the same thing. When you think that someone is perfect you are creating your own picture of them in your head and then you imagine the “perfect” person with the behavior that seems most perfect to you, but in reality nobody’s perfect. And you can just let the other person know that you are there for them if they need you, without forcing yourself on them.
I’m sorry to hear that my guy, some people just can’t handle it, I did the same things mostly in just expressing myself towards her, tho my situation was different she had some red flags that I kinda ignore because I was deeply in love but she never gave too much effort in the relationship honestly she just liked to be kissed or making out Either way we keep moving forward in life, and always be you be good, and learn the lessons that every relationship has taught you.
Yeah, I have been love-bombed by a guy 3 years older than me before. It was ugly. I thought he was really sweet but when he started sexting me, the dynamics changed. He is always talking about my body instead of anything else, bugging me while I was at work and kept on asking whether I have plans but never took action to even take me out on a date. UGH! Worst of all, he is NOT who he said he is 😡🤬
Honestly hurts how many people sound like my ex... Even that 3year age gap. Sadly I gone along with the sexual shit on phone, thought it makes him happy and was also my first relationship...
Love bombers are basically narcissists. I have a narcissist friend who did this to me, probably because she was insecure and not happy with her relationship. According to her I was the most handsome and perfect man ever. It seemed strange to me but I was thankful for all the nice compliments until I realized she was a narcissist person who uses people and wants everything in control. I even think that these kind of people cannot really love someone. Nowadays she never contacts me first and she probably found some other person to love bomb, like a new supply. And I'm thankful for that, especially because I've discovered more about her personality and behavior
I pretend to be caring person but actually I am love bombing and even I don't feel it because this is how my dad was in love with mom 😢 Now I have a lot of guilt and now I will change myself ❤ Thanks @psych2go
I watch all of your videos and like them, they always give me useful things to learn. They’re just too beautiful, I love your videos!! :) Im a teenager so these all videos always comes just in time! ❤
I really could have needed this the last three years :') I do know better though since the break up and know what a big red flag he just was. Still sad it took three years and him pushing me away...
I've been Love bombed twice. At the first time I knew after a few month that there is something wrong. But I could't tell what and why. It takes me a year to get out of this "friendship". And now I'm so glad I get out of it. The second time it was my date. After 3 month he blocked and ghosted me. I didn't care about it because I wanted to block him anyway. Always remember that. Be carful who you trust
when a partner is out of harmony with who you are, and then gets angry and attacks you when you persist and stand up for being who you are, run for it :)
I absolutely do this, but if my goal is to be in a relationship with the girl, I’m not aware of it. It’s more about making myself feel good by showing others (co workers) with gifts, complements, & praise because I want to be liked, & I’m trying to make up for being ugly during active addiction.
i have been looking into these videos a lot the past 2 days because i might end up in a new relationship and i realize i might be a lil too much of a person ^^' well thats work cut out for me, thanks for the realizations
My now girlfriend, thought I was lovebombing her because she couldn't fathom I was seeing just her and her only. Eventually I got fed up with it and to her to never disrespect me with that word..... everything patched right then and there
I don't know how to feel about this one. I've given gifts, sent texts, gone out of my way to do things or fix something for the person. I'm just trying to prove myself. Of course, as the relationship went on, I still did but with less frequency. Some of my partners, then expected said things of me, and it was no longer done from the heart, but out of fear. I very much felt like if i didnt love enough, they'd leave, and if I loved too much, they'd leave. Its a very hard balance to achieve. I know that being this way, is to my detriment, but I guess I try to love the way that I wasn't loved as a child. I know it doesn't make it any better, but don't really know what else to do. Maybe love really isn't for me 😅 as I've never had luck in love, and I realize that some of that is due to me being the way I am.
Thank you so much for making this. I was really thinking about breaking up with my gf since it felt fake. I thank you so much for finally letting me come to my senses and breaking up with her. (Edit: i feel a bit guilty but also not since she kinda forced me into the relationship)
Don’t feel the guilt bro I have been there for the past 1.5 yrs. It felt suffocating and had to backup its for your own good. It felt liberating afterwards. After watching this video I final understood wha it was.
Never feel sorry about something like that. Always think about you first ,make sure you are fine and happy. She might be hurt or not, but you should be your main priority, especially if things feel fake.
Sadly, I didn’t know I was love bombing my boyfriend until he broke down. I thought I was showing actual love, but it wasn’t. I stopped doing that.. I hope. We are still together but I feel horrible I did that to him. I’m still working on it though! He was patient and kind enough to show me what is love. People can change if they want to❤️
Ive seen 'love bombing' in subtle ways. Used as a way to hook into insecurities or any needs to be admired . The person will compliment you or affirm you for a while, then ask for something that inconveniences you (to see if you'll do it). It's used to soften a target and get them to be compliant to unreasonable demands.
I lost one of my closest friends to a love bomber. It's been about three years since I last saw him. Miss him still but until he decides to leave his abuser there isn't anything I can do except leave the door open and go on with my life.
As someone who struggles with borderline personality disorder, I'm very impulsive and often struggle at controlling my anger. I think I've always known I do this but Nessa Barretts song lovebomb also talks about this. I don't use love bombing in a manipulative way at all but I've had episodes in front of my boyfriend where I've thrown stuff around the room at him, and screamed at him about stuff I don't mean at all. when I come down from my panic I'm often overly affectionate to him and check up on him over call/text more frequently, and often get him gifts, but this is just how I don my best to show how sorry I am andt to really show him how much I love and care about him. At other times I've been so scared that because I'm so unstable it's just not good for me to be with him and that he deserves better but when I've brought this up with him he's always so accepting of my mental and doesn't want to break up. I feel like maybe my love bombing could be manipulative and even more emotionally damaging for him than I already I am but that's just how I show him that I still love him so much and that I really didn't mean anything I did/said in my episodes.
I just got a girlfriend and she’s been overwhelming with gifts, cards and texts, i love her but that caught my attention so I looked for this video. It describes her perfectly, i dont know what to do.
It's tricky because this man is treating me the way I'm actually supposed to be treated as a person of character and a woman of value however my only trepidation is the reality that he attempts to manipulate my boundaries
The only reason I think he loved on me is because he refused to respect my boundaries and because he literally told me and our first time out together that if you loved bombed me I wouldn't be able to tell
My friend just told me that when i was a young kid, i through mud at someone, and then right after a teacher came up to me and, shoved the mud in my face, i dont remember any of this, maybe i blocked it out, or maybe in denial that even she would go that far, because yes she was mean but had no idea she would of gone that far.
There was a girl I’m close with who love bombed me after friendzoned me months before.. I genuinely thought I had a chance then I decided I would still be friends with her but I rarely talk to her anymore just because of what she did
I don't understand it anymore, it's like I can't say if it is a love bomb or a strong crush over her. Is it a love bomb if I suddenly realised her worth and then having a massive romantic feeling towards her??😭😭😵💫😵💫
I am so wary niw and have turned many blokes away . General rule of thumb. If you are experiencing behaviour you wouldnt put up with from your friend then i tend to go with that. Be carful woman there are many broken people out there and men there are many women who do the same if not worse !
what if they love bombed you first and wanted to be around you 24/7 when they didn’t have any friends but when they got friends they suddenly switched and wanted space when you wanted to hangout with them
I was bored and acted unsure and low self esteem to a girl she tried to take advantage of it and manipulate me now after 2 months shes begging for my attention
See HERE'S my problem with this... and it's the SAME problem I have with people shitting on 'co-dependancy' I WILL give you credit though... you did say that there are some couples who are just like that... and that at least means you know that it's not ALWAYS love bombing. The problem I have... is that if someone (myself) is intense... but is not displaying ANY of the "not listening', or 'not respecting boundaries' or 'gaslighting'.. ANY of those kinds of toxic traits... even if the affection/attention is intense... it can still be a valid way of showing expressions of love. (Me personally, my love languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch... and I listen to my partner if and when she has a problem.. sometimes even asking her when it seems something is bothering her.)
Exactly, with proper communication and respect "lovebombing" can never be a problem. This video makes it seem affection is a bad thing while it's really no respect for bounderies and manipulation that are the toxic traits here.
@@KiallVunMyeret EXACTLY, and so many people these days are like... allergic to affection, which is why when it comes to looking for someone to form a relationship with, I'm equally as intense when it comes to honesty. (Which... is ANOTHER thing that people seem to distrust... like I get it, there are so many liars out there, and I'm pretty sure everyone is all like 'Sometimes there are valid reasons to lie'... and for safety reasons yeah I get that.. BUT... it shouldn't be a red-flag that I'm honest about MYSELF.) I just generally do not understand people.. COULD be because I'm autistic... buuut... I think there's more to it than that *smh* I do want to thank you though. It's actually a breath of fresh air to know I'm NOT the only one that things 'positive affection', (at least when warranted, so obviously adding to respecting boundaries, and not using it to manipulate)... although now that I think about it... isn't that EXACTLY what trying to enter a relationship IS for most people? As I said... people lie, which is why they don't understand why I don't, so they don't trust it... I mean really... that's actually a good epiphany... "Being honest, and affectionate... is a red-flag... because everyone else just lies to get with people anyway" SORRY, I digress... that's my point, I just do not understand people.
The fact my ex literally was this 😭 I didn’t realize until I like broke up with him. He kept love bombing me get back with him. Good thing I cut him off completely.
had a ldr, it was my first lesbian relationship. don’t think i was love bombing but when we finally met up in person i was definitely clingy and loved being with her
i was told i was love bombing glad most of these didnt fit what i was doing, I just overdid it with the compliments. Gotta be more careful next time i suppose
pretty sure something like this is happening to my friend rn. she wont listen to me tho. it was kinda cute at the start but it just keeps getting worse. i spend a lot of time with her due to our parents being friends and we now even go to the same school so i notice this a lot ig. her bf is always around, on the way to school, breaks, the way back from school and even meets her on most weekends. what they do on weekends does not bother me since thats not my problem, but he sticks to her like glue and cant keep his hands off of her for even a few seconds so i can give her a normal hug. me and our other friends often have to watch her and her bf (mostly him) do weird stuff (at least its weird to do in public) and she even said that shes uncomfortable with this sometimes but not to him directly. whenever i try to talk to her about this she will just get mad at me for "complaining". i might be overreacting but almost our whole friendgroup finds this weird but i feel like im still in the wrong fer being so uncomfortable with the situation
Its love bombing when there is no fear of rejection whatsoever, that is easily mistaken as confidence. The fear of rejection is equivalent to the amount of admiration you feel towards the other person.
This guy I went on 2 dates with, and have known for about two weeks is love bombing me. I feel so uncomfortable. He tells me good morning and goodnight, but ALWAYS says "I love you." I had just gotten out of a terrible situation where a guy took advantage of me and touch and physical affection makes me cringe. But he just doesn't seem to get it. I need advice please, loves. No hate, please.
what should i do if there is no one that i can talk to?? i am about to explode...there is something heavy on my heart and i am alone i can't even go to a therapist
@@devenmellori used to do this but recently i feel that there are monsters inside me, "all i have are negative thoughts" ... i am afraid of myself... i am losing all my good qualities.
Gifts designed to obligate. Texts designed to keep track of you with a thin disguise of "love" deliberately making (usually expensive) plans to isolate from others. Guilt tripping if you say no, not today. All about manipulation and control rather than compassion and genuinely loving. Been through it.😢
how could i avoid making my partner thinking that im a love bomber. I am not a love bomber but i always give her gifts, sometimes i only want alone times with her and i always text her like im saying "i love you" and "i miss you" well im a very clingy person and i like talking to someone i like 24/7. I just want to give her the love that i didnt receive or i didnt felt im just a young man into romance
Wow! If I seen this video before, I wouldn't have done a child with a faceless person who pretend to be Ok!! Whatever the good I gave to the child, and the relationship, she never saw me has family while I put my all to make the word Family worth living for!! It was just love bombing, manipulation, lies etc. If only the child didn'r have to suffer from her actions, like to abduct the child and own him with all lies !! He too suffer the love bombing to make him forget how he love his father and how his father love him!!
Have you ever been guilty of love bombing?
No
Not really, my love is silent
I’ve been love bombed
Nope
Kind of, I've done that to receive love back. Sighs.
1. Giving gifts too many times
2. love text too much daily to the level uncomfortable
3. Lifting and bringing down in the same time
4. Demanding attention/make them prioritize every moment
5. Not giving space/ overwhelmed
Thank you for the detailed summary!
There was one guy who had a crush on me who called me more times then I was comfortable with, but it was the only thing on the list he did. He was a really nice guy, I just didn't feel the same way about him and didn't want him getting overbearing with the calls.
He could be codependent too
Do u have one on infactuation?
Not everyone who showers you with kindness and affection is trying to manipulate you. Some people are just loving.
What if i don't wanna do something and they brag about how they done it for me?
… or they are manipulative.
That’s what you think
For my end my ex has low self confidence and I'm very protective of him so love bombing like a sister/still like him in a way
Me... with my ex. The problem was that i wasn't manipulative.... her mother was, but i didn't want to separate them. The relationship was flawed from the beginning.
I'm always afraid of "being too much" and scaring people off, this helps to reflect on that, thank you 🥰
What do you mean by "being too much"? What do you personally define as "being too much" in relationships?
@@Psych2go Hm. I don't really know what I'd call "too much" on the recieving end. But I do tend to worry a lot whether I give people I love more attention than they would appreciate, if that makes any sense. Do I text too often? Does it bother them when I hug them a lot? Do I stare too long? Would they rather not get a fat bunch of goofy memes in the middle of the night? Is it weird when I want to accompany them on errands? Do I touch them too much? Do I smile too much? Will it make them uncomfortable if I buy them this cute nonsense? At what point does complimenting them go from nice to awkward? I don't want to end up not making them feel loved just because I don't know. I will try my best to read people's boundaries better.
@@Danka42they should appreciate it more since nowadays no one does this lol I would appreciate it tho. I would see this as a real friend in my life compared to others which never text me and compliment me even though I don’t do anything wrong?
@Danka42 what you’ve said was me recently. I’m close to this friend of mine. It’s weird because i thought I learned enough to control myself for being too nice and sweet from past relationships. But with my friend I tried to step back when I feel too caring and too thoughtful. I like hugs, but with him it’s difficult because I sense some tension. So I even asked for permission. Lol one more thing with him is that when I move away a little he then sends me a barrage of texts and pictures and memes trying to get my attention any time of the day. And when I do the same he backs off a little. I’m super confused. It’s always been like this. It’s a cycle. Toxic in a way. I don’t know how to move on. But recently i ended this nonsense. He was trying to hangout with me last week for the whole day. I said I can’t because I have a doctors appointment with my family. He said it’s fine. And then when I was out later that day and he just showed up. So I was happy and gave him a hug. That was that. We hangout for like 3 hours then call it a day. We hugged again when we separated. He was quiet the following day. Till nighttime I asked if everything’s okay. He said yeah. I asked if I’m acknowledging him too much and if im being too close. And then he suddenly said yeah it’s okay. You can acknowledge me and all. But don’t touch me. I was like whaaaat??? I was so confused. I never touched him inappropriately or anything under the belt. I felt so horrible for him to say that. I cried the whole night and decided to end the friendship.
Then I talked to our mutual friend which is his close friend even before me and learned that he has some ptsd with getting too close. I was like maybe you should’ve warned me or he could’ve said it personally to me or something. But really it’s too late for that. That was the last straw for me. It’s a toxic relationship even from the very start.
@@danixoxo3180 I am very sorry you feel this way. Perhaps, if your friendships are otherwise fine, it might be something to just straight up ask for? People can care about you without realizing what you need from them and if they're your friends, they won't mind texting or complimenting you, once they know it would mean a lot to you.
As for "appreciating" it from me...
I understand it might _seem_ great when written down. I understand if this sounds like what you're missing, you'd assume this is great for everybody. But people express their affection in all kinds of ways; I cannot recommend enough _The Five Love Languages,_ the book that made me finally believe my parents and my brothers do, in fact, love me, they're just not huggers. I had no idea that was even a thing. For me it feels like the most natural thing to touch people all the time, for them it can feel invasive. I can offer spending time together, but most of my friends have tighter schedule than me and to make time for me they might need to plan around it for days, so asking them randomly to go get ice cream is putting them in the awkward position of having to refuse and now I made them feel guilty without even knowing. Eye contact can be really uncomfortable to some people, plus I have an unfortunate habit of not blinking much. I may think this gift is perfect for them, but in reality it's a piece of plastic crap that will make them smile for one second and then collect dust until they finally toss it. I want my loved ones to always know I admire them and that they kick ass, but it might come off as insincere or it's something they're not really proud of. (As a teen I used to compliment people for being really thin. I'm fat and I had no idea there is such thing as wishing you were chunkier.) Those dorky memes are eating away at my brother's data plan.
What I'm saying is, the thought counts, but it's not _all_ that counts. Just because I mean well doesn't mean I can't still make people wish I _didn't._
Timestamps
1). It's always your birthday... kinda 0:52
2). The text-aholic 1:39
3). The Katy Perry 2:31
4). Why aren't you paying attention to me 3:13
5). That doesn't work for me 4:12
6). No breathing space 5:09
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thks for the timestamps
@@xx_creepysukie_xx1731not a problem happy to help
As always, this always helps out. Hope you have a wonderful day as well
@@Psych2go 💗
@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help. Hope you have a nice day too 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I’m always watching your videos to check up on my own personality, to make sure I’m not toxic or unhealthy to others. This has helped, and I’m not a love bomber, at least according to this video. I will continue to look out for the one I love.
Same here
We're glad you're using our videos to make sure that you're staying mentally healthy and that you're not a love bomber! As for your search for the one you love, how has that been going?
I am finally blessed with a best friend who is very respectful of boundaries as well, and has stated her boundaries to me as well. I was like, "she's not afraid to tell me what's what but she's nice about it. I need to keep her around!" My best friend from college with the same way, thankfully. We simply drifted apart because after we graduated we just got busy and other places. We're always happy to see each other in passing.
@@Psych2go Actually, I believe I’ve found them. We both appear happy to ourselves, and we feel completely comfortable with each other.
Thank you
@@Lavenderrose73 Aw that’s nice, glad to hear
love bombing not only applies to just romantic relationships but also in friendship and other relations....
we all have to realise healthy space and boundaries for relations to last...
Just broke up with someone who checks off all these boxes. Its reassuring to know that my reaction to the overbearing and possessive behavior wasn't unnatural, since I've been beating myself up over it for the past few days.
I’m with you! Just broke up with a nice guy who was smothering me. He wouldn’t take NO! for an answer. Showing up uninvited, planning our future, declaring his undying love. That was within 2 WEEKS! Creepy!!
@@LauraSchendel-ko1qksame! Planning the future could be another sign…
@@LauraSchendel-ko1qk Good job, Showing up uninvited is a HUGE NO. Dangerous.
My fear of being too affectionate, “love bombing” or being too distant has often caused me to not pursue romantic relationships. 😔
It has only occurred to me in the last couple of years that every potential partner’s needs and desires are different. There is no textbook “middle ground”. ✌️
And you can't win either. Nothing you can do will ever help. It's too much. It's not enough. People leave you for no reason. You try to prove that you aren't that kind of person. It doesn't matter in the end. The concept of love is a failed ideology, like communism.
Unless you're Obi wan in which case you always get the high ground..
@@simpleneeds2582 "You underestimate my power!" 😤 😂
@@Maphisto86 Bully Maguire: Imma put some sand in yo eye.. gets everywhere ya know XDXD
If you are sincere, it will translate that way.
Making you feel guilty also looks like the person feeling like a victim when you have your own friends, family, hobbies or alone time and expressing this through words or even things as subtle as body language or small actions that create that suggestion in you that it's youre fault or you're the prob. "if your intuition/instincts tell you something is wrong, listen to yourself and look for help"
First thought I really could have needed the video the past three years ,but your comment would have been even better :-:
But I bet even then I wouldn't have listened to myself...
Oh man, thank you so much for posting this one! I've been in a love bombing relationship for almost a whole year and finally broke it off only for them to backlash at me and have their friends become rude toward me..I waited a year before getting into another relationship and after roughly a month I started noticing a lot of love bombing but he wasn't "aggressive" but purposefully ignorant toward the problems..So with a heavy heart I broke up. This video helped me see there WAS clearly a problem in both and going to be continuing to observe red flags instead of be blind to them. Thank you! this was very helpful confirmation.
Can agree.
And first experience sounds pretty much like my last and first relationship ,people can just be assholes.
I'm ashamed to say this, but this video made me realise i was unintentionally overstepping my boundaries with my partner. I want to improve myself, so I'll try to stop. I will talk about this with her, and probably apologise if i made her uncomfortable.
100% talk to her first. Everybody gives and wants to recieve affection in different ways. Some people like the adoration of being "love bombed"
This video is honestly really bad for villainising affection while the real toxic traits are lack of communication, manipulation and lack of respect of bounderies.
With proper communication and respect "love bombing" can never be a issue and it's honestly a word you should forget.
Putting a mental block on the way you give affection is really unhealthy. As long as you can adjust to what your partner wants when they ask you too there is nothing you can do wrong
@@KiallVunMyeret Agree. With people avoiding "catching feelings" just showing some emotion seems to be classified as "love bombing" since the video said "if you don't like high levels of attention" or whatever
Self-awareness 💯
@@KiallVunMyeretexactly bro.
Everybody is not the same.
I got a flag of unintentionally love bombing someone to answer that "am I love bombing?" anxiety.
If your loved one answers to "how was your day" with a detailed report of her daily routine instead of "great", "bad" or "boring" and then highlights stories if there are. There is a flag to slow down.
Another sign is to ask yourself "can my loved one slow down, make space or even break up without me passing the bill of all the gifts and gestures?"
Love bombing sounds good on paper, but it’s so hard to deal with. I’ve been love bombed and you don’t know why, but you’re exhausted. How can I be tired of someone else constantly telling me how much I mean to them, buying me snacks at the store, and inviting me to every social thing they go to, and more importantly, how do I tell them it’s too much? For me, she love bombed me AND she kept score. All the little things she did for me were things I should be doing back, and that was unhealthy too. I tried once to tell her it was too much and she thought I was asking for distance and telling her I didn’t love her any more. I never found a way to deal with it. I hope that whoever is reading this and getting love bombed figures it out
100% what it is like
It's not hard to deal with at all.
"Hey i love you but it's been a bit much and i need some space to breathe and do my thing"
That's it. Simple communication
If they respond negativily to that the problem is with their lack of respect of your bounderies, not the love bombardment
I’ve love bombed but it was unintentional. Once someone realizes, if they are a good person they will seek out ways to fix it
I told everyone the love bombing was excessive but everyone toned it down… I even had to rationalise it! I will always follow my intuition going forward ❤!
@@KiallVunMyeret While I agree with the advice, sometimes it's hard to risk a relationship, even if it might be wrong for you. I hope anyone reading this will be strong enough to set healthy boundaries and move on if needed!
I've noticed sometimes it's also an ADHD thing as well or sometimes just wanting to show our partner we appreciate them, or if they struggle feeling loved just a friendly reminder. But as long as it's done in a healthy way I think it can be a good thing, but everyone views it differently then someone else.
I have adhd so I'm very hyper
I've experienced a lot of horrible and inhumane things in my past and since then I've done a lot of love bombing to people to the point of spending more on them than on me because I want to make people happy, a happiness that I don't have. could have had as a child so yeah..I do love bombing even I know sometimes it's bad for my mental health and others because I even manipulate them to make them happy..but my very sad..
Anyways, awesome video, keep it up
If you've been watching a lot of romantic movies recently😎
What if you’re the love bomber?
Here is what you can do:
👍 Engage in self-reflection. Love-bombing is a hard habit to stop. The most crucial thing you can do is acknowledge the consequences of love-bombing and take steps to avoid repeating these behaviors.
👍 Think of some patterns of behaviors that you would like to change. Wanting an exciting romance is completely normal. But being disingenuous is not.
For instance, do you tend to "mirror" your partner’s interests to make them think you are a perfect match?
Is having the upper hand in your relationship a necessity for you?
👍 Be open with your partner. Don’t hesitate to ask your partner if your behavior is excessive or hurtful. If they say it is, try your best to avoid becoming defensive.
Good Luck!
awesome!! thank you for your help
I definitely mirror..
@@Purpleiciousbabe what do you think about next step: be open😵
I used to, feel like sometimes i love bombed in the starting of a relationship. Well not as a abuser. It was a learning experience as i was well new to dating was possibly my second relationship.
Glad to know i changed my ways, and i am now a better person.
how did you change it?
This can be a narcissistic grandparent, parent, or sibling too. Smothered to insanity.
This is my mom. 😢
I always get so happy when I see the notification that you guys have posted ❤
My love always tries his best to lift me up, but he also gives me advice and keeps me on my toes, I thought it was love bombing but I’m glad it’s not, thank you Psych❤
Thanks for this! I tend to send my best friend a lot of messages(Gifs and images on Instagram) like "You are important", "You are awesome" every single day. I think it's some sort of a trauma response to abandonment or a fear of abandonment, so I'm gonna stop doing that from now on.. Thanks again!
Edit(just read the comments): I don't do any of the other stuff, nor do I expect my friend to message me such stuff either, but I'll stop doing this anyways.
I would just have an honest conversation with your best friend about your concern of maybe doing things that are overwhelming.. you risk making your friend think something is wrong by stopping behavior you've been doing for a while. If you are honest and vulnerable you can build deeper trust and intimacy in your friendship. Ask your friend if you are making them uncomfortable..tell them about this video you saw and the insecurity that perhaps you are behaving in a way that may be coming across negatively..
@@AJourneyBackToEden Yeah! I plan on telling my friend about this, sending them the video and properly communicating about it, before I stop sending those messages. Thanks for the comment!
@@hajimen7559glad to hear you're going to talk to your friends about it before choosing to stop sending them love over a single video.
I honestly think this video is a terrible message. Every person gives and want to recieve affection differently and you shouldn't have to put mental blocks on yourself out of fear of it being to much.
Give the affection you want to give and if it's too much then it's up to the reciever to properly communicate it.
@@KiallVunMyeret Yeah, While I understand what you're saying, many people who are with toxic and abusive partners end up staying with them due to love bombing and thinking "they aren't so bad". I guess this video is more relevant for the people in those circumstances.
@@hajimen7559 Yeah i can see that, but just because love bombing is used to cover up bad traits doesn't make love bombing a bad trait. Just like how parents can spoil their children by buying them gifts but that doesn't make every parent who buys something for their kids bad. I feel like they overely villainized giving affection instead of the actual toxic traits. The mayority of the people who love bomb are just people who are overwhelmed with genuinly being in love and all it takes is a single convertation to leave some breathing room.
I think that making a video that makes people second guess if they should give affection in a world where affection is becoming very few and far between gives of a very bad message
Here are the time stamps! Have a wonderful day!
0:54 I. It's always your birthday, Kinda
1:40 II. The Text-aholic
2:31 III. The Katy Parry
3:13 IV. Why aren't you paying attention to me?
4:13 V. That doesn't work for me
5:10 VI. No breathing space
Thank you for the detailed time stamps! (And in Roman numerals too!)
@@Psych2go You are most welcome and I do like Roman Numerals! 😁
I definitely did this with a girl before but I wasn’t trying to be manipulative we just connected really well and I grew an attachment to her and also loved bombed to her.I did Way too much and our relationship was an absolute train wreck the more I cared the less she did which created a power shift in me putting in more effort for her,constantly chasing behind her like a lost puppy.The crazy part is I never done anything like this before I’ve dealt with women before and definitely wanted to impress/please them in certain ways but I wouldn’t say I loved bombed like I did with this one.With other girls if they ended the relationship it would hurt a bit but I was able to move on easier and not think of them as much as this one.Right now I’m currently working on my issues and trying to become a better man in general.
I learned this lesson very early on in my childhood because of the episode of Spongebob where Mr Krabs starts crushing on Mrs. Puff and he keeps making Spongebob run to the store to buy expensive gifts with his credit card. And by the end of the episode, Mrs. Puff is surrounded by lots of expensive gifts and feeling VERY awkward lol
Psych2Go, you guys have helped so much in my life, thank you, and continue to make peoples lives better!
This is a great video for people who have gone through an abusive relationship and to know the signs or to also understand what “too much” looks like.
On the other hand this is a horrible video for people who are genuinely loving and affectionate because it villainizes the natural desire for giving and receiving affection. More often than not they can’t defend themselves from an accusation of love bombing because any defense will confirm the suspicion in someone’s head. When they’re just very genuine people.
I’ve also seen people ignore the other manipulative and abusive part of the word and simply focus on just the too much affection part which is fine but don’t half ass the definition when it has bad connotations attached.
I’ve seen some stories of love bombing. It’s ridiculous that one person is can be controlling to their partners. It’s a sign that a relationship won’t last. Hope I don’t end up like at.
I honestly really like your art style, It’s really cute😊
I was worried I was love bombing, but seeing this I realize I’m not. Phew!
This was so concise and succinct, I'm crying, where tf was this video like 5 months ago, omfg T.T
*sighs in someone who dated a narcissist* ah yes, what a good morsel of “I should have seen this sooner” i’m having today
As always, the timing is impeccable. I really appreciate these videos, thank you.
Thank you so much, I use these vids so often to ensure the safety of whoever I like. I'm scared of being too much on them all at once. I get far too excited and start going crazy😬
4:08 a quick note: Even with this, the other can even also ask to come along with them so they can enjoy the dinner with the friend together, and that works just as well!
Welp turns out being nice to your partner and genuinely trying to spend time with them and be there for them despite how difficult the 11th year has been for the both of us is a bad thing. Despite how perfect things started of and went with a few bumps along the way, I never for once stopped thinking "Damn, she's the one, she's perfect". Its been a few days since she broke up with me and I still can't believe how it went down. Watching your videos do help me kinda cope with it.
Love and obsession is not the same thing. When you think that someone is perfect you are creating your own picture of them in your head and then you imagine the “perfect” person with the behavior that seems most perfect to you, but in reality nobody’s perfect. And you can just let the other person know that you are there for them if they need you, without forcing yourself on them.
I’m sorry to hear that my guy, some people just can’t handle it, I did the same things mostly in just expressing myself towards her, tho my situation was different she had some red flags that I kinda ignore because I was deeply in love but she never gave too much effort in the relationship honestly she just liked to be kissed or making out
Either way we keep moving forward in life, and always be you be good, and learn the lessons that every relationship has taught you.
Yeah, I have been love-bombed by a guy 3 years older than me before. It was ugly. I thought he was really sweet but when he started sexting me, the dynamics changed. He is always talking about my body instead of anything else, bugging me while I was at work and kept on asking whether I have plans but never took action to even take me out on a date. UGH!
Worst of all, he is NOT who he said he is 😡🤬
Date other women. You'll be better for it
Honestly hurts how many people sound like my ex...
Even that 3year age gap.
Sadly I gone along with the sexual shit on phone, thought it makes him happy and was also my first relationship...
Blockity block block time!👊🏾
I’m confused as to whether I love bombed or that I was so bowled away that I felt I had to keep on professing my love as to not lose her
Love is a complicated, powerful thing.
Love bombers are basically narcissists. I have a narcissist friend who did this to me, probably because she was insecure and not happy with her relationship. According to her I was the most handsome and perfect man ever. It seemed strange to me but I was thankful for all the nice compliments until I realized she was a narcissist person who uses people and wants everything in control.
I even think that these kind of people cannot really love someone.
Nowadays she never contacts me first and she probably found some other person to love bomb, like a new supply.
And I'm thankful for that, especially because I've discovered more about her personality and behavior
Actually, I'm suffering from depression not love bombing. Just watched this video to acknowledge the symptoms :)
After having watched the video, what do you think was the main difference between depression and love bombing?
I pretend to be caring person but actually I am love bombing and even I don't feel it because this is how my dad was in love with mom 😢
Now I have a lot of guilt and now I will change myself ❤
Thanks @psych2go
I watch all of your videos and like them, they always give me useful things to learn. They’re just too beautiful, I love your videos!! :)
Im a teenager so these all videos always comes just in time! ❤
I really could have needed this the last three years :')
I do know better though since the break up and know what a big red flag he just was. Still sad it took three years and him pushing me away...
Lets go amanda! Well done doing the beautiful vices for them video, and all the others.
I got accused of love bombing… I’m glad to see that I wasn’t doing that, and it’s most likely just something she dealt with before.
Point 3 and especially 2 made me think about the things that happened in the past...
I've been Love bombed twice. At the first time I knew after a few month that there is something wrong. But I could't tell what and why. It takes me a year to get out of this "friendship".
And now I'm so glad I get out of it.
The second time it was my date. After 3 month he blocked and ghosted me. I didn't care about it because I wanted to block him anyway.
Always remember that. Be carful who you trust
I really didn’t get much on what you said, are they bad guys or something or just love bombing ?
when a partner is out of harmony with who you are, and then gets angry and attacks you when you persist and stand up for being who you are, run for it :)
I absolutely do this, but if my goal is to be in a relationship with the girl, I’m not aware of it. It’s more about making myself feel good by showing others (co workers) with gifts, complements, & praise because I want to be liked, & I’m trying to make up for being ugly during active addiction.
Where’s the time stamp homies when you need them
Thank you so much when I watch your videos I feel always better !!!!
i have been looking into these videos a lot the past 2 days because i might end up in a new relationship and i realize i might be a lil too much of a person ^^' well thats work cut out for me, thanks for the realizations
I haven’t seen you in a loong time! Also nice video.!
My now girlfriend, thought I was lovebombing her because she couldn't fathom I was seeing just her and her only. Eventually I got fed up with it and to her to never disrespect me with that word..... everything patched right then and there
When i was in my former relationship, it was mostly just love bombing. Whenever I look back on it, it makes me feel so sad.
I don't know how to feel about this one. I've given gifts, sent texts, gone out of my way to do things or fix something for the person. I'm just trying to prove myself. Of course, as the relationship went on, I still did but with less frequency. Some of my partners, then expected said things of me, and it was no longer done from the heart, but out of fear. I very much felt like if i didnt love enough, they'd leave, and if I loved too much, they'd leave. Its a very hard balance to achieve. I know that being this way, is to my detriment, but I guess I try to love the way that I wasn't loved as a child. I know it doesn't make it any better, but don't really know what else to do. Maybe love really isn't for me 😅 as I've never had luck in love, and I realize that some of that is due to me being the way I am.
there is no such thing as love isnt for you. everyone deserves to be loved and to love
I understand this concept very well now. Thanks for this informative video💯
Just when I was watching your videos and needed this one aaaaaaaa
Thank you so much for making this. I was really thinking about breaking up with my gf since it felt fake. I thank you so much for finally letting me come to my senses and breaking up with her.
(Edit: i feel a bit guilty but also not since she kinda forced me into the relationship)
Don’t feel the guilt bro I have been there for the past 1.5 yrs. It felt suffocating and had to backup its for your own good. It felt liberating afterwards. After watching this video I final understood wha it was.
Get out of it, realising the relationship is harmful is the first step to a betterlife away from them💖
Never feel sorry about something like that. Always think about you first ,make sure you are fine and happy.
She might be hurt or not, but you should be your main priority, especially if things feel fake.
I hope you atleast talked to her and let her know you needed some space to give her a chance to adjust.
Sadly, I didn’t know I was love bombing my boyfriend until he broke down. I thought I was showing actual love, but it wasn’t. I stopped doing that.. I hope. We are still together but I feel horrible I did that to him. I’m still working on it though! He was patient and kind enough to show me what is love. People can change if they want to❤️
Ive seen 'love bombing' in subtle ways. Used as a way to hook into insecurities or any needs to be admired . The person will compliment you or affirm you for a while, then ask for something that inconveniences you (to see if you'll do it).
It's used to soften a target and get them to be compliant to unreasonable demands.
I lost one of my closest friends to a love bomber. It's been about three years since I last saw him. Miss him still but until he decides to leave his abuser there isn't anything I can do except leave the door open and go on with my life.
YAY! I GOT IT TO 2.1K LIKES! Love ur vids. They help me so much. Thank you ❤
As someone who struggles with borderline personality disorder, I'm very impulsive and often struggle at controlling my anger. I think I've always known I do this but Nessa Barretts song lovebomb also talks about this. I don't use love bombing in a manipulative way at all but I've had episodes in front of my boyfriend where I've thrown stuff around the room at him, and screamed at him about stuff I don't mean at all. when I come down from my panic I'm often overly affectionate to him and check up on him over call/text more frequently, and often get him gifts, but this is just how I don my best to show how sorry I am andt to really show him how much I love and care about him. At other times I've been so scared that because I'm so unstable it's just not good for me to be with him and that he deserves better but when I've brought this up with him he's always so accepting of my mental and doesn't want to break up. I feel like maybe my love bombing could be manipulative and even more emotionally damaging for him than I already I am but that's just how I show him that I still love him so much and that I really didn't mean anything I did/said in my episodes.
just ended a 14 month relationship with a person like this. its exhausting
I just realized I was love bombing someone in my first relationship due to my anxious attachment style
I just got a girlfriend and she’s been overwhelming with gifts, cards and texts, i love her but that caught my attention so I looked for this video. It describes her perfectly, i dont know what to do.
Thank you for everything!!
All of that goes against my policy of personal space, both physical and mental. Good to know so I don't come as insensitive.
It's tricky because this man is treating me the way I'm actually supposed to be treated as a person of character and a woman of value however my only trepidation is the reality that he attempts to manipulate my boundaries
I don't relate to this, at least not yet. I just wanted to say your voice is very relaxing, and your illustrations are beautiful!
The only reason I think he loved on me is because he refused to respect my boundaries and because he literally told me and our first time out together that if you loved bombed me I wouldn't be able to tell
My friend just told me that when i was a young kid, i through mud at someone, and then right after a teacher came up to me and, shoved the mud in my face, i dont remember any of this, maybe i blocked it out, or maybe in denial that even she would go that far, because yes she was mean but had no idea she would of gone that far.
There was a girl I’m close with who love bombed me after friendzoned me months before.. I genuinely thought I had a chance then I decided I would still be friends with her but I rarely talk to her anymore just because of what she did
I don't understand it anymore, it's like I can't say if it is a love bomb or a strong crush over her. Is it a love bomb if I suddenly realised her worth and then having a massive romantic feeling towards her??😭😭😵💫😵💫
I am so wary niw and have turned many blokes away . General rule of thumb. If you are experiencing behaviour you wouldnt put up with from your friend then i tend to go with that. Be carful woman there are many broken people out there and men there are many women who do the same if not worse !
what if they love bombed you first and wanted to be around you 24/7 when they didn’t have any friends but when they got friends they suddenly switched and wanted space when you wanted to hangout with them
Thank you, makes realized that my previous relationship wasn’t my fault at all.
Y’all have helped me sm, thank you
Yes ,nice at first,i felt so special and wanted,but in the end all she wanted was steam cards,be careful who you text on social media
I was bored and acted unsure and low self esteem to a girl she tried to take advantage of it and manipulate me now after 2 months shes begging for my attention
i read it as "6 Signs you love Bombing".
as a person who likes explosions i quickly tapped it and realizes i read it wrong
What!? The words and actions of others do NOTHING to validate us. External praise means literally NOTHING.
See HERE'S my problem with this... and it's the SAME problem I have with people shitting on 'co-dependancy'
I WILL give you credit though... you did say that there are some couples who are just like that... and that at least means you know that it's not ALWAYS love bombing.
The problem I have... is that if someone (myself) is intense... but is not displaying ANY of the "not listening', or 'not respecting boundaries' or 'gaslighting'.. ANY of those kinds of toxic traits... even if the affection/attention is intense... it can still be a valid way of showing expressions of love.
(Me personally, my love languages are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch... and I listen to my partner if and when she has a problem.. sometimes even asking her when it seems something is bothering her.)
Exactly, with proper communication and respect "lovebombing" can never be a problem.
This video makes it seem affection is a bad thing while it's really no respect for bounderies and manipulation that are the toxic traits here.
@@KiallVunMyeret EXACTLY, and so many people these days are like... allergic to affection, which is why when it comes to looking for someone to form a relationship with, I'm equally as intense when it comes to honesty.
(Which... is ANOTHER thing that people seem to distrust... like I get it, there are so many liars out there, and I'm pretty sure everyone is all like 'Sometimes there are valid reasons to lie'... and for safety reasons yeah I get that.. BUT... it shouldn't be a red-flag that I'm honest about MYSELF.)
I just generally do not understand people.. COULD be because I'm autistic... buuut... I think there's more to it than that *smh*
I do want to thank you though. It's actually a breath of fresh air to know I'm NOT the only one that things 'positive affection', (at least when warranted, so obviously adding to respecting boundaries, and not using it to manipulate)... although now that I think about it... isn't that EXACTLY what trying to enter a relationship IS for most people? As I said... people lie, which is why they don't understand why I don't, so they don't trust it... I mean really... that's actually a good epiphany... "Being honest, and affectionate... is a red-flag... because everyone else just lies to get with people anyway"
SORRY, I digress... that's my point, I just do not understand people.
The fact my ex literally was this 😭 I didn’t realize until I like broke up with him. He kept love bombing me get back with him. Good thing I cut him off completely.
had a ldr, it was my first lesbian relationship. don’t think i was love bombing but when we finally met up in person i was definitely clingy and loved being with her
i was told i was love bombing glad most of these didnt fit what i was doing, I just overdid it with the compliments. Gotta be more careful next time i suppose
pretty sure something like this is happening to my friend rn. she wont listen to me tho. it was kinda cute at the start but it just keeps getting worse. i spend a lot of time with her due to our parents being friends and we now even go to the same school so i notice this a lot ig. her bf is always around, on the way to school, breaks, the way back from school and even meets her on most weekends. what they do on weekends does not bother me since thats not my problem, but he sticks to her like glue and cant keep his hands off of her for even a few seconds so i can give her a normal hug. me and our other friends often have to watch her and her bf (mostly him) do weird stuff (at least its weird to do in public) and she even said that shes uncomfortable with this sometimes but not to him directly. whenever i try to talk to her about this she will just get mad at me for "complaining". i might be overreacting but almost our whole friendgroup finds this weird but i feel like im still in the wrong fer being so uncomfortable with the situation
Oh thank goodness, I was starting to confuse a love bomber with a people pleaser 😅
well i guess it was love bombing for me and her, worst part is that i cannot tell them and talk about this anymore with them
Its love bombing when there is no fear of rejection whatsoever, that is easily mistaken as confidence.
The fear of rejection is equivalent to the amount of admiration you feel towards the other person.
might have to share this to someone
goes hard how that’s all I’ve been doing sadly and I’ve never entered a relationship 😂
Totally down for exploiting that gift giving phase and then fucking off when shit gets too serious.
This guy I went on 2 dates with, and have known for about two weeks is love bombing me. I feel so uncomfortable. He tells me good morning and goodnight, but ALWAYS says "I love you." I had just gotten out of a terrible situation where a guy took advantage of me and touch and physical affection makes me cringe. But he just doesn't seem to get it. I need advice please, loves. No hate, please.
what should i do if there is no one that i can talk to??
i am about to explode...there is something heavy on my heart and i am alone
i can't even go to a therapist
@@devenmellori used to do this but recently i feel that there are monsters inside me, "all i have are negative thoughts" ... i am afraid of myself... i am losing all my good qualities.
Gifts designed to obligate. Texts designed to keep track of you with a thin disguise of "love" deliberately making (usually expensive) plans to isolate from others. Guilt tripping if you say no, not today. All about manipulation and control rather than compassion and genuinely loving. Been through it.😢
Thanks for the lesson
how could i avoid making my partner thinking that im a love bomber. I am not a love bomber but i always give her gifts, sometimes i only want alone times with her and i always text her like im saying "i love you" and "i miss you" well im a very clingy person and i like talking to someone i like 24/7. I just want to give her the love that i didnt receive or i didnt felt im just a young man into romance
Wow! If I seen this video before, I wouldn't have done a child with a faceless person who pretend to be Ok!! Whatever the good I gave to the child, and the relationship, she never saw me has family while I put my all to make the word Family worth living for!! It was just love bombing, manipulation, lies etc. If only the child didn'r have to suffer from her actions, like to abduct the child and own him with all lies
!! He too suffer the love bombing to make him forget how he love his father and how his father love him!!
Finaly i came early. It feels good i dont know why.