it must have been hard for both to explain. ZERO no one else in 50 channels has break it down with feelings and real emotions. Amazing information shared. Well done both.
It took guts to bare your hearts like that ( respect ) random acts of kindness, can fix a lot of personal issues ! Tell him he’s the best captain out there 👍 tell her your the only first mate I gladly trust my life will, all the best 👍
This was an amazing episode. Cruising cost me a relationship. I wish my lady would have had your patience. Well done you two... fair winds ... cheers...
Thanks, took a lot for you to share. Most of all that wife and I experienced and know exactly first hand. No one will judge as we are all in the same boat-- and intended.
Great episode y’all. Relationships are like preparing for a marathon. The pre and pursuit never stops. If it does. You are done. Praying you guys grown old together and continue to live love and learn. Thanks for sharing. I know it can’t be easy opening Up like this.
Very honest video I am glad you both worked it out. We all have times like you both did but you learned from it and it sounds like you will have a better relationship. being with my wife for 45 years. there are good times and hard times. in a small space it is much harder. I look forward to watching both of you in the videos. Safe Sailing
Thank you all so much for sharing. If I could offer some advise to those wanting to cruse together the first thing I would suggest is clear communication. As an example docking and anchoring can at times be stressful and it is important that both of you have a clear understanding what the plan is and what is expected of each of you, then stick with the plan. Yelling from the bow of your boat to your significant other past a bimini and dodger over a running diesel engine is a recipe for failure and is certain to raise the stress level. Next I think it's very important that the both of you clearly understand the operation of your boat to the point that either one of you could single hand it if the need were to ever arise. This doesn't just hold true in the case of an emergency but it also builds trust between the both of you. You have to be able to trust your partner while they are on watch. On longer passages each of you will need to share the responsibilities of operating your vessel while your partner rests. You can't expect your partner to try to rest with one ear open or to be called on deck every time the wind changes or you spot an AIS target 20 miles away. Tired people are irritable and irritable people under stress is asking for an argument. Excessive alcohol use can be a real problem. We sailors sure do love our sundowners and it's sure easy to get in a party mood at exciting anchorages while meeting new fun loving people. After a long or stressful passage who doesn't want a cold beer after the anchor drops? Just try to keep in mind that neither of you is likely to be well rested or had a decent meal. By all means enjoy your well earned sundowner but try to save barking at the moon until you both have had a decent meal and some real rest. Cruising isn't easy and can sure be stressful but remember it is so worth every second.
Just so you know I/we enjoyed watching your travels, you both took the challenge together and you di a great job taking on a spectacular quest. Boats are small, it not like you can run away from any issues, things have to be worked though. If the 2 of you can make it, I will continue to watch, you're very good people! And good sailors together!
THE most honest video! Each of your points made me do an item check on myself on everyday life and little things. My big takeaway from your experience in part, is tone, and body language are somewhat amplified in smaller spaces. Focus on staying in tune with the other person.
Nicely done, As we get ready to head down the ICW next week for points South, I will remember to be a thoughtful Skipper and show the Admiral the best time possible. Thanks John P MV "Venture"
On our boat we have an all chain anchor rode. To prevent everything from accidently going overboard, the "bitter end" (British term) of our anchor chain is attached to our boat. Some sailors attach the bitter end of their anchor chain to their boat with a shackle. I think that this practice is dangerous. Shackles often corrode and then they are difficult to open. In an emergency situation you may need to leave your anchorage quickly and drop your anchor chain overboard (perhaps with a long light line and fender attached to your anchor chain). Our anchor chain is attached to our boat with a short piece of strong line. Thus to detach our chain from our boat quickly we can simply cut the line!
Thanks. Our bitter end in the story here was attached with a small line that would be easy to cut. The chain came down so fast it did everything but snap said line. That’s what made it to scary.
Tim.....You need sunglasses, Then your eyes wont be seen wandering......Candace, if it helps look at the episode after you left and how crushed he was, Eyes may wander but the heart doesnt.
The team work of equals is a wonderful thing. Watching YT videos the 'teams' that learned from nothing together seem to do well. When experience is unequal it's MUCH harder. The urge to become captain Bligh must be resisted at all costs. It will totally poison the trip. Tim you are a very driven guy and I applaud Candice for sticking it out as long as she did . I sincerely hope you Both learn from you mistakes and you get to enjoy your future trips as a team of unequals although I think Candice has the skill to be equal if in a different way. She showed that in the flooding situation where she pulled her weight! Thanks for making me think , cheers Warren .
I lived 20 years with a woman who would get all upset if my eyes looked at some woman almost naked at the beach and it just made it very uncomfortable to even go to the beach. Wife #2 has no problem with looking and in fact we will compare notes on who ever just walked by. A woman has to find self confidence to be ok around stuff like that. I look at it as a two way street. I didn’t do enough to help my first wife have more confidence, now whether I could of done enough I don’t know.
Re the anchor / chain incident, lesson learnt hopefully. There can be only 1 captain aboard, his responsibility but your own version of understanding is not your choice. Only 1 captain his responsibility. For your mistake and his.
You guys need a catamaran. Each of you gets their own hull and there is the big common area in the middle. Just from an outsiders perspective, the common theme seemed to be each needing some personal space to do what you want in, spread stuff out for a project or whatever, a space where you can have your own personal time. After hearing you both, I kind of wonder why there aren't a bunch of catamarans set up that way.
After a 25 year failed marriage here's one word for a good relationship: respect. If you find yourself got giving a shit about the other person, how they feel, how you're impacting their lives, if that respect is just gone, so is your relationship. I'm not talking about a fight, I'm talking about a prolonged "standard state of the relationship". My 1st wife never respected me from day one. I was a dumb ass for staying in it. I hope you're smarter than me and never place hope and faith above "common sense". As for the "wondering eyes", this was a major concern with my 1st wife. I was 100% faithful to her and she had no reason to fear anything, but I find women attractive and she couldn't handle that. This simply made us incompatible. To cast it into my "respect" viewpoint, I did my best to alleviate her fears, but ultimately she couldn't respect who I was.
I almost bought Lady K back in 2005. My Girl friend and I went for a sail on Her with the Owner Captain. Just using Motor and Fore Sail in Lk. St.Clair...We Loved the Boat ,But the size left us a little,unsure of Our Experiance...But got a 20ft. Classic O'day Mariner Keel Boat,,,Had Great Time with Her on the Little Lk. But I can relate to Tim, Getting the Captain Yelling Orders and Not meaning to Hurt the First mates Feelings..All in all we had great Time ,and still want...BIGGER BOAT.
Both were excellent. As far as eyes wandering towards bikinis IMHO it’s all about age. We men flagrantly notice them more in our 40s but that’s also the 40s when it bothers women most because they feel their own bodies changing or preparing to change so it can hurt women more in their 40s. In their 20s & most of 30s women didn’t realize their men were still noticing bikinis because the women knew they had us wrapped around their fingers & that we were happy. Those women who just accept it & say “ it doesn’t matter where your appetite comes from as long as you ONLY eat at home” & stick w/the men into their 50s realize that as ppl we all do things a little differently at different ages & react differently as well. By the 50s the women usually don’t feel offended & the wandering eye doesn’t do it as obviously so both can be happy & laugh while women might even look at some men. We all turn into different ppl about every 10-12 years but we can continue loving our partners & letting each know that they aren’t wanting to be with anyone else. It makes more sense with time but takes too much time to explai it correctly here. Hang in there & stay together & it will get better.
Your thoughts? I read that sometimes a small catamaran is blessed with TWO hulls, so if a crewmate needs a moment or two to think things out…you can each be in a separate hull…do you think that would really work? Or would people just create a reason to argue even then? People hiking, I’ve noticed, seem to have problems on the third day; if they can still get along afterwards, the relationship seems to work okay, though they may not want to become married having realized each other’s personalities.
I can totally see where you both are coming from.. ⛵️Layla is only 32 feet, 38 with the 6 foot bowsprit.. but who's bragging. We are coming up 5 years, having sailed down to Florida, leaving our home marina in SArnia ON back in 2015, We sail for six months to Bahamas, and around Florida.. etc.. We leave to head back down in a few weeks. We actually get along better within those small confines. Not sure why.. whether it's because we are so busy in the summer at home in Canada doing our own thing, when we board ⛵️Layla we connect with one another again. Captain has his music and I like to cook and read, watch movies and weave baskets with palm fronds. We both keep busy. That's not to say that we don't argue, we do but when it's done, it's done.. you guys are amazing.. you have come through a lot more than most.. and look at you.. you both have learned from it and I truly believe that its made your relationship stronger.. as far as the womanizing thing?? ARGH.. You are much better than that girl.. you are as cute as a button.. and not many woman can hold a candle to you.. believe that!!! Tim is lucky to have you.. and you are lucky to have him too.. It's so nice to see that you both are brave enough to do this on air. We, Mike, Marilu and 😈Tommy🐾 the Whippet are 😀 for you.. hoping to see you again in the Bahamas..
Thanks for the honesty. When my wife and I started sailing we decided to be a "no yelling" boat. It was hard sometimes, but we didn't even yell when we lost a boat one night on a reef. The no yelling made it a lot easier to work together to rescue ourselves. Another thing is my wife gets the helm as much as she wants. As a guy it's tempting to want to be captain all the time. However, since my wife can sail the boat she can come back for me if I fall over -and maybe she'll be willing to come back for me. :) Good luck on your next adventure.
This was a nice discussion, because I've always thought it must be stressful for a couple to be on a boat for that much time. Sure, I'm here for the boating, but I can't dream about boating if nobody is talking about the other real stuff, too. So I'm glad you did this episode. Regarding wandering eyes... Everybody is entitled to their feelings, and it's up to a couple to deal with that. I brought it up to my wife and mentioned that there are all these women in thongs, and I added that I think they're kind of skanky, and she interrupted and said, "Yeah, but you're going to look, because that's what people do. I think Speedos are gross on men, but I'll look because he's got his junk hanging out." So that's how she deals with it. :)
Anyway, I try not to look anyway. Part of it is because those women who show everything shouldn't get more attention. It's kind of desperate, and they shouldn't control me. So I'll purposely ignore them.
It's not true that it goes with the territory, Candice. Evrry time I hear that I ask, "And of the 4 billion or so males on earth, you've know how many?" Tim admits there were issues already ourside the boat and that wandering is reflective of that is all. Overall, I find Tim to be a "keep it real" kind of guy and he clearly has a good Heart. I admire him for that..these are not a common qualities. Sometimes the issues we have seem larger than they need be because its what we feel at the moment, but, it also makes us forget the good in someone or all the times and ways you were there for one another. I say if possible, work on a fix and build on what you have. A good man, or woman is not easy to find...ie, Alaska..where there are so many more men than women, so many women head up here for that reason, only to learn, "yeah, the odds are really good, but, damn! the goods are really odd!" Hope I run into you two out there someday...together. Godspeed to you both.
19:23 There is nothing wrong with being a mortal human being. Yes, men look at other pretty women. That does not mean we expect more from the one we love. You are beautiful. Never forget that.
Being a typical guy I totally get tims non emotional commentary.....Candice reminds me of my future ex wife. In a nice way. Takes a lot of guts to be this candid in a public forum. Good job.
That’s a very nice commentary on two people living in incredibly close quarters. I’m about to do the same thing, and I hope it turns out just as good. I can become an authoritarian when safety is a concern, and I always think why can’t people do what I’m thinking? I just hope my woman is as tolerant as Candace. I’m used to a lot of personal space, and I think that will be my biggest challenge? I sure appreciate that advice.
Wow, I was so worried someone would say something that "can't be unsaid". Pretty safe stuff, a lot everyone is aware of but being aware of it and not doing it are two separate things. Candice, about the wandering eyes, Ron White said it best, "All men can agree, if you've see one set ....you want to see them all!". The human body is art, why not admire it. That goes for both sexes. Think of it that way when you catch someone ogling your partner, they are just admiring God's fine work. Nice to see you both on the same page and moving forward!
i appreciate your openness but i watched all those videos and i am from Ontario as well so we share a culture and a homeland, and i have to say i would keelhaul her on your next outing for leaving you on your own to fend for yourself. You, of course sucked it up and managed but we all saw you struggle and that is part of what got you to this recovery point so good for you. Please just make sure you don't just use self help on this and get some real professional therapy. Then keep moving forward!
I drove OTR truck for 20 years, before that I was with the Marines deployed everywhere under less than ideal conditions, my wife was abducted and spent 5 years without tv, radio. The only outside of her room was me and our daily talks on Hangouts. I don't think living on a sailboat will be a problem! You pansies! LOL Seriously, you are bringing up some very valid points.
On side positive note my grandparents fought like cats and dogs but had 60 years of marriage...they bring up things from 30 or more years ago .... I had no clue...that marriage buddy's..
I use this explaination for wandering eyes- Men are like tyrannosaurus rexes. Our eyes are drawn to movement. It's that simple. Yep never worked for me either. Or Doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home. Yep same thing.
You gotta develop a sense of humor. At the end of ships stores load, a nub found himself crawling over a berthing deck packed double high with #10 cans to get out of the tight space. Talking out loud to himself he said, "Im Harry the Hamster in my lively cage." He looked up in the face of a salty A ganger with a big smile on his face. It was at that moment he realized what he did to himself. The law of conservation of happiness.
It is human nature to look at people. As long as your loved one ONLY sacks down with you then your good Sweetheart. You guys have the same issues most couples have. Never stop communicating and working together! Thanks for sharing!
Cool vid beyond sailing. Candice know this 3 of us were attempting to get across bay of currents West tip of Cuba. I had good ideas the captain had good ideas none of that shit worked. Heidi figured that out. My girlfriend passed now. " hey dumb fucks! If we just stay on this track we get there slow but tomorow" captain and I stopped our pissing match and we got there th next day. Chicks always emotionally motivated no fucking way. My 2 sence. RIP Heidi
you should have just looked with him, and then tell him to go on if that's what he wants. And if he does, then he isn't worth keeping anyway. He is with you, not them. Because in you, the man clearly sees his equal.
Candice, you’re beautiful. Those other girls probably aren’t half the sailor you are. Also, it’s hard not to look at someone practically naked on the beach.
Hi guys As always I love that you to keep it real Very good video I appreciate the openness Candace as a man I can tell you a man could have a girlfriend wife that is a 10 smoking hot Eyes are going to wander Sexy women sexy cars we can’t help it The best way I can illustrate that would be look at a lightbulb watch the bugs go after it they can’t help it they have to do it Same thing with us men At the end of the day he is with the woman that he wants I hope in someway that will help with your insecurity All the best to you both
To Candice, I feel for your insecurity issues although only in your head. I myself would rather have a ballerina then a Kardashian. Good luck on your next adventure.
Seems like the big issue everybody keeps talking about is the wandering eyes. If you're by yourself, and you're looking at other women or guys, that's one thing, but you should have enough love and respect for your partner not to do that right in front of them. As a man, I couldn't think of anything more disrespectful than to be staring at another woman's ass while your wife or girlfriend is right beside you. If that's the kind of pig you are then you don't deserve a good man or woman. Sorry but I'm a brutally honest person and that's how I see it.
Candice, I think you're a lovely lady but you really do need to let that insecurity shit go. With respect, you're not a teenager anymore. That behaviour is deeply corrosive to all aspects of your life. It is the shallowest weapon any woman can use upon her man and it undermines your relationship with Tim and you as a person. You should understand that Tim is with YOU. And he's with you because you're NOT some cheap tart who flaunts it all. If he really wanted that, he wouldn't be with you. Get that into your head and drop the nonsense. And please understand that I'm saying this forcefully but with genuine love. You are better than that... and Tim knows it. So, the next time some buxom tart is in his presence, take pride that he still has the virility to cast an eye over the plonk but has the good taste to go home with the Champagne. And Tim, if Candice ever behaves in this manner again, walk away. You are human and entitled to admire the goods on the shelf at any time. They are there to be admired after all. Candace will just have to accept that you appreciate sexy things and have to learn to appreciate them with you. Otherwise, she is trying to manipulate you to be someone you are not... and that is simply not acceptable. Believe me, I've been through this and it does not end well.
@@joshuafalade4754 I made no point about trust. My point is about the manipulations of insecure people of their partners, which is an unhealthy way to conduct a relationship. I have no need for hacking my partner's phone. If I felt insecure about my relationship, I'd ask and gauge the response, I wouldn't lower myself to hacking.
My opinion is Tim that you have a fantastic first mate and only needs nurturing and training more than yelling and putting in her place....you have the best Tim...make proper use of it.
Thanks. Our bitter end in the story here was attached with a small line that would be easy to cut. The chain came down so fast it did everything but snap said line. That’s what made it to scary.
That's why men should do like most wildlife they mate and then they get their own apartment, so they don't have to put up with that jealous ,BS both sides, the devil has claimed a lot of Souls by using jealousy, and scorn, of a woman, the bottom line women please grow up you can't change nature if you that insecure about yourself go to the gym.
Thanks for the honesty and showing your good and bad experiences.
it must have been hard for both to explain. ZERO no one else in 50 channels has break it down with feelings and real emotions. Amazing information shared. Well done both.
It took guts to bare your hearts like that ( respect ) random acts of kindness, can fix a lot of personal issues ! Tell him he’s the best captain out there 👍 tell her your the only first mate I gladly trust my life will, all the best 👍
Two intelligent, kind, giving people. Thank you for sharing. You are both great.
This was an amazing episode. Cruising cost me a relationship. I wish my lady would have had your patience. Well done you two... fair winds ... cheers...
Thanks, took a lot for you to share. Most of all that wife and I experienced and know exactly first hand. No one will judge as we are all in the same boat-- and intended.
Great episode y’all. Relationships are like preparing for a marathon. The pre and pursuit never stops. If it does. You are done. Praying you guys grown old together and continue to live love and learn. Thanks for sharing. I know it can’t be easy opening Up like this.
YOU GUYS!! ♥⛵♥ Your timing is uncanny! 🤣 You nailed it!
Very honest video I am glad you both worked it out. We all have times like you both did but you learned from it and it sounds like you will have a better relationship. being with my wife for 45 years. there are good times and hard times. in a small space it is much harder. I look forward to watching both of you in the videos. Safe Sailing
Thank you all so much for sharing.
If I could offer some advise to those wanting to cruse together the first thing I would suggest is clear communication. As an example docking and anchoring can at times be stressful and it is important that both of you have a clear understanding what the plan is and what is expected of each of you, then stick with the plan. Yelling from the bow of your boat to your significant other past a bimini and dodger over a running diesel engine is a recipe for failure and is certain to raise the stress level.
Next I think it's very important that the both of you clearly understand the operation of your boat to the point that either one of you could single hand it if the need were to ever arise. This doesn't just hold true in the case of an emergency but it also builds trust between the both of you. You have to be able to trust your partner while they are on watch. On longer passages each of you will need to share the responsibilities of operating your vessel while your partner rests. You can't expect your partner to try to rest with one ear open or to be called on deck every time the wind changes or you spot an AIS target 20 miles away. Tired people are irritable and irritable people under stress is asking for an argument.
Excessive alcohol use can be a real problem. We sailors sure do love our sundowners and it's sure easy to get in a party mood at exciting anchorages while meeting new fun loving people. After a long or stressful passage who doesn't want a cold beer after the anchor drops? Just try to keep in mind that neither of you is likely to be well rested or had a decent meal. By all means enjoy your well earned sundowner but try to save barking at the moon until you both have had a decent meal and some real rest.
Cruising isn't easy and can sure be stressful but remember it is so worth every second.
Hope you can get it together and go sailing again, there are lots of adventures waiting - and you take us along on them...
these old videos are good. It made me to do a fresh look at your channel :-)
Just so you know I/we enjoyed watching your travels, you both took the challenge together and you di a great job taking on a spectacular quest. Boats are small, it not like you can run away from any issues, things have to be worked though. If the 2 of you can make it, I will continue to watch, you're very good people! And good sailors together!
Wow I like how in this experience, you two are managing to strip away all the little quirks that land lovers live in. Made my night. Thanks!
THE most honest video! Each of your points made me do an item check on myself on everyday life and little things. My big takeaway from your experience in part, is tone, and body language are somewhat amplified in smaller spaces. Focus on staying in tune with the other person.
Nicely done, As we get ready to head down the ICW next week for points South, I will remember to be a thoughtful Skipper and show the Admiral the best time possible. Thanks John P MV "Venture"
so so happy to see you two working on the love for one-another yew so happy thank you
You are so beautiful together you are completed one another well ... was sad to see you apart .. now it so good to see you both back....
Awesome video I like the honest and different perspective from both sides
Wow, so many strange comments on this video...🤔 Thanks Tim and Candice, good stuff.
Sure eyes can wander on both sides. But who do each of you go home with at the end of the day?
Excellent 👍 You are Helping people!!!
On our boat we have an all chain anchor rode. To prevent everything from accidently going overboard, the "bitter end" (British term) of our anchor chain is attached to our boat. Some sailors attach the bitter end of their anchor chain to their boat with a shackle. I think that this practice is dangerous. Shackles often corrode and then they are difficult to open. In an emergency situation you may need to leave your anchorage quickly and drop your anchor chain overboard (perhaps with a long light line and fender attached to your anchor chain). Our anchor chain is attached to our boat with a short piece of strong line. Thus to detach our chain from our boat quickly we can simply cut the line!
Thanks. Our bitter end in the story here was attached with a small line that would be easy to cut. The chain came down so fast it did everything but snap said line. That’s what made it to scary.
Thank you Candice, You were so honest. I appreciate your comments even more now-. You make the channel even better along with Tim. Cheers,Don.
This may have been the Absolute best episode yet!! Bravo!
I can’t wait to meet you on the big blue woobly!
Tim.....You need sunglasses, Then your eyes wont be seen wandering......Candace, if it helps look at the episode after you left and how crushed he was, Eyes may wander but the heart doesnt.
The team work of equals is a wonderful thing. Watching YT videos the 'teams' that learned from nothing together seem to do well. When experience is unequal it's MUCH harder. The urge to become captain Bligh must be resisted at all costs. It will totally poison the trip.
Tim you are a very driven guy and I applaud Candice for sticking it out as long as she did . I sincerely hope you Both learn from you mistakes and you get to enjoy your future trips as a team of unequals although I think Candice has the skill to be equal if in a different way.
She showed that in the flooding situation where she pulled her weight! Thanks for making me think , cheers Warren .
I lived 20 years with a woman who would get all upset if my eyes looked at some woman almost naked at the beach and it just made it very uncomfortable to even go to the beach. Wife #2 has no problem with looking and in fact we will compare notes on who ever just walked by. A woman has to find self confidence to be ok around stuff like that. I look at it as a two way street. I didn’t do enough to help my first wife have more confidence, now whether I could of done enough I don’t know.
Dogs
Very informative video ,I'm buying a catamaran early next year, sailing with my gf and her female friends
Re the anchor / chain incident, lesson learnt hopefully. There can be only 1 captain aboard, his responsibility but your own version of understanding is not your choice. Only 1 captain his responsibility. For your mistake and his.
You guys need a catamaran. Each of you gets their own hull and there is the big common area in the middle. Just from an outsiders perspective, the common theme seemed to be each needing some personal space to do what you want in, spread stuff out for a project or whatever, a space where you can have your own personal time. After hearing you both, I kind of wonder why there aren't a bunch of catamarans set up that way.
Very insightful and honest 👍
Thanks for watching!
i have yet to cruise however i know what you both are talking about
my wife and I are always butting heads esp when i bring out the jib
After a 25 year failed marriage here's one word for a good relationship: respect.
If you find yourself got giving a shit about the other person, how they feel, how you're impacting their lives, if that respect is just gone, so is your relationship. I'm not talking about a fight, I'm talking about a prolonged "standard state of the relationship". My 1st wife never respected me from day one. I was a dumb ass for staying in it. I hope you're smarter than me and never place hope and faith above "common sense".
As for the "wondering eyes", this was a major concern with my 1st wife. I was 100% faithful to her and she had no reason to fear anything, but I find women attractive and she couldn't handle that. This simply made us incompatible. To cast it into my "respect" viewpoint, I did my best to alleviate her fears, but ultimately she couldn't respect who I was.
You can look at the menu but always eat at home🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just because your on a diet doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. Is how I always heard that one.
who's on a diet? maybe they can vlog on what's on menu or what cruises cook daily. what you think?
@@hyrocket food references were for wondering eyes in a relationship. Not actual food...
Everyone is allowed to look at the menu. Fyi! 👀
I almost bought Lady K back in 2005. My Girl friend and I went for a sail on Her with the Owner Captain. Just using Motor and Fore Sail in Lk. St.Clair...We Loved the Boat ,But the size left us a little,unsure of Our Experiance...But got a 20ft. Classic O'day Mariner Keel Boat,,,Had Great Time with Her on the Little Lk. But I can relate to Tim, Getting the Captain Yelling Orders and Not meaning to Hurt the First mates Feelings..All in all we had great Time ,and still want...BIGGER BOAT.
Both were excellent. As far as eyes wandering towards bikinis IMHO it’s all about age. We men flagrantly notice them more in our 40s but that’s also the 40s when it bothers women most because they feel their own bodies changing or preparing to change so it can hurt women more in their 40s. In their 20s & most of 30s women didn’t realize their men were still noticing bikinis because the women knew they had us wrapped around their fingers & that we were happy.
Those women who just accept it & say “ it doesn’t matter where your appetite comes from as long as you ONLY eat at home” & stick w/the men into their 50s realize that as ppl we all do things a little differently at different ages & react differently as well. By the 50s the women usually don’t feel offended & the wandering eye doesn’t do it as obviously so both can be happy & laugh while women might even look at some men.
We all turn into different ppl about every 10-12 years but we can continue loving our partners & letting each know that they aren’t wanting to be with anyone else. It makes more sense with time but takes too much time to explai it correctly here. Hang in there & stay together & it will get better.
Your thoughts? I read that sometimes a small catamaran is blessed with TWO hulls, so if a crewmate needs a moment or two to think things out…you can each be in a separate hull…do you think that would really work? Or would people just create a reason to argue even then? People hiking, I’ve noticed, seem to have problems on the third day; if they can still get along afterwards, the relationship seems to work okay, though they may not want to become married having realized each other’s personalities.
I can totally see where you both are coming from.. ⛵️Layla is only 32 feet, 38 with the 6 foot bowsprit.. but who's bragging. We are coming up 5 years, having sailed down to Florida, leaving our home marina in SArnia ON back in 2015, We sail for six months to Bahamas, and around Florida.. etc.. We leave to head back down in a few weeks. We actually get along better within those small confines. Not sure why.. whether it's because we are so busy in the summer at home in Canada doing our own thing, when we board ⛵️Layla we connect with one another again. Captain has his music and I like to cook and read, watch movies and weave baskets with palm fronds. We both keep busy. That's not to say that we don't argue, we do but when it's done, it's done.. you guys are amazing.. you have come through a lot more than most.. and look at you.. you both have learned from it and I truly believe that its made your relationship stronger.. as far as the womanizing thing?? ARGH.. You are much better than that girl.. you are as cute as a button.. and not many woman can hold a candle to you.. believe that!!! Tim is lucky to have you.. and you are lucky to have him too.. It's so nice to see that you both are brave enough to do this on air. We, Mike, Marilu and 😈Tommy🐾 the Whippet are 😀 for you.. hoping to see you again in the Bahamas..
Question. If the bitter end of the chain was secured with a length of line as it should why the drama.
It was. The chain laying out so quickly nearly broke the line. The point of the story wasn’t the anchor chain at all.
That was my first time of seeing candice, she seems to be a lovely lady.
Thanks for the honesty. When my wife and I started sailing we decided to be a "no yelling" boat. It was hard sometimes, but we didn't even yell when we lost a boat one night on a reef. The no yelling made it a lot easier to work together to rescue ourselves. Another thing is my wife gets the helm as much as she wants. As a guy it's tempting to want to be captain all the time. However, since my wife can sail the boat she can come back for me if I fall over -and maybe she'll be willing to come back for me. :) Good luck on your next adventure.
Making a great argument for a catamaran. Where you can go to separate hulls / births and have a roomy galley in between.
This was a nice discussion, because I've always thought it must be stressful for a couple to be on a boat for that much time. Sure, I'm here for the boating, but I can't dream about boating if nobody is talking about the other real stuff, too. So I'm glad you did this episode.
Regarding wandering eyes... Everybody is entitled to their feelings, and it's up to a couple to deal with that. I brought it up to my wife and mentioned that there are all these women in thongs, and I added that I think they're kind of skanky, and she interrupted and said, "Yeah, but you're going to look, because that's what people do. I think Speedos are gross on men, but I'll look because he's got his junk hanging out." So that's how she deals with it. :)
Anyway, I try not to look anyway. Part of it is because those women who show everything shouldn't get more attention. It's kind of desperate, and they shouldn't control me. So I'll purposely ignore them.
It's not true that it goes with the territory, Candice. Evrry time I hear that I ask, "And of the 4 billion or so males on earth, you've know how many?"
Tim admits there were issues already ourside the boat and that wandering is reflective of that is all. Overall, I find Tim to be a "keep it real" kind of guy and he clearly has a good Heart. I admire him for that..these are not a common qualities. Sometimes the issues we have seem larger than they need be because its what we feel at the moment, but, it also makes us forget the good in someone or all the times and ways you were there for one another. I say if possible, work on a fix and build on what you have. A good man, or woman is not easy to find...ie, Alaska..where there are so many more men than women, so many women head up here for that reason, only to learn, "yeah, the odds are really good, but, damn! the goods are really odd!" Hope I run into you two out there someday...together. Godspeed to you both.
19:23 There is nothing wrong with being a mortal human being. Yes, men look at other pretty women. That does not mean we expect more from the one we love. You are beautiful. Never forget that.
Being a typical guy I totally get tims non emotional commentary.....Candice reminds me of my future ex wife. In a nice way. Takes a lot of guts to be this candid in a public forum. Good job.
That’s a very nice commentary on two people living in incredibly close quarters. I’m about to do the same thing, and I hope it turns out just as good. I can become an authoritarian when safety is a concern, and I always think why can’t people do what I’m thinking? I just hope my woman is as tolerant as Candace. I’m used to a lot of personal space, and I think that will be my biggest challenge? I sure appreciate that advice.
good for you guys keep working on it and it will get better
I think the 2 of you should watch episode 39
Excellent
Wow, I was so worried someone would say something that "can't be unsaid". Pretty safe stuff, a lot everyone is aware of but being aware of it and not doing it are two separate things. Candice, about the wandering eyes, Ron White said it best, "All men can agree, if you've see one set ....you want to see them all!". The human body is art, why not admire it. That goes for both sexes. Think of it that way when you catch someone ogling your partner, they are just admiring God's fine work. Nice to see you both on the same page and moving forward!
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
Book by John Gray
I just read it for the second time, Short book worth the time, Audio book available too
i appreciate your openness but i watched all those videos and i am from Ontario as well so we share a culture and a homeland, and i have to say i would keelhaul her on your next outing for leaving you on your own to fend for yourself. You, of course sucked it up and managed but we all saw you struggle and that is part of what got you to this recovery point so good for you. Please just make sure you don't just use self help on this and get some real professional therapy. Then keep moving forward!
Awesome, to the point good or bad and honest, I Wish you well were ever life takes the two of you good luck
Thank you guys for that :))
I drove OTR truck for 20 years, before that I was with the Marines deployed everywhere under less than ideal conditions, my wife was abducted and spent 5 years without tv, radio. The only outside of her room was me and our daily talks on Hangouts. I don't think living on a sailboat will be a problem! You pansies! LOL Seriously, you are bringing up some very valid points.
On side positive note my grandparents fought like cats and dogs but had 60 years of marriage...they bring up things from 30 or more years ago .... I had no clue...that marriage buddy's..
I hope after you both see each others comments you can get back together tell each other your sorry
Are y’all heading back out any time soon?
I use this explaination for wandering eyes-
Men are like tyrannosaurus rexes. Our eyes are drawn to movement. It's that simple.
Yep never worked for me either.
Or
Doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you eat at home.
Yep same thing.
You gotta develop a sense of humor.
At the end of ships stores load, a nub found himself crawling over a berthing deck packed double high with #10 cans to get out of the tight space. Talking out loud to himself he said, "Im Harry the Hamster in my lively cage." He looked up in the face of a salty A ganger with a big smile on his face. It was at that moment he realized what he did to himself.
The law of conservation of happiness.
I saw you looking at her
It is human nature to look at people. As long as your loved one ONLY sacks down with you then your good Sweetheart. You guys have the same issues most couples have. Never stop communicating and working together! Thanks for sharing!
DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU GET YOUR APPETITE AS LONG AS YOU EAT AT HOME!
Guys will be guys, but there's no excuse. Control yourselves!
What's next? More boating or are you done for now?
We gave a new adventure just beginning ❤️⛵️
Cool vid beyond sailing. Candice know this 3 of us were attempting to get across bay of currents West tip of Cuba. I had good ideas the captain had good ideas none of that shit worked. Heidi figured that out. My girlfriend passed now. " hey dumb fucks! If we just stay on this track we get there slow but tomorow" captain and I stopped our pissing match and we got there th next day. Chicks always emotionally motivated no fucking way. My 2 sence. RIP Heidi
you should have just looked with him, and then tell him to go on if that's what he wants. And if he does, then he isn't worth keeping anyway. He is with you, not them. Because in you, the man clearly sees his equal.
SPILL THE BEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Candice, you’re beautiful. Those other girls probably aren’t half the sailor you are. Also, it’s hard not to look at someone practically naked on the beach.
Small Space, Need two dingy's lol
Hi guys As always I love that you to keep it real Very good video I appreciate the openness Candace as a man I can tell you a man could have a girlfriend wife that is a 10 smoking hot Eyes are going to wander Sexy women sexy cars we can’t help it The best way I can illustrate that would be look at a lightbulb watch the bugs go after it they can’t help it they have to do it Same thing with us men At the end of the day he is with the woman that he wants I hope in someway that will help with your insecurity All the best to you both
To Candice, I feel for your insecurity issues although only in your head. I myself would rather have a ballerina then a Kardashian. Good luck on your next adventure.
Why can't I lay around naked?
@ Tim...a single man's prison cell is only 5x9 really small
Seems like the big issue everybody keeps talking about is the wandering eyes. If you're by yourself, and you're looking at other women or guys, that's one thing, but you should have enough love and respect for your partner not to do that right in front of them. As a man, I couldn't think of anything more disrespectful than to be staring at another woman's ass while your wife or girlfriend is right beside you. If that's the kind of pig you are then you don't deserve a good man or woman. Sorry but I'm a brutally honest person and that's how I see it.
Candice, I think you're a lovely lady but you really do need to let that insecurity shit go. With respect, you're not a teenager anymore. That behaviour is deeply corrosive to all aspects of your life. It is the shallowest weapon any woman can use upon her man and it undermines your relationship with Tim and you as a person.
You should understand that Tim is with YOU. And he's with you because you're NOT some cheap tart who flaunts it all. If he really wanted that, he wouldn't be with you. Get that into your head and drop the nonsense.
And please understand that I'm saying this forcefully but with genuine love. You are better than that... and Tim knows it. So, the next time some buxom tart is in his presence, take pride that he still has the virility to cast an eye over the plonk but has the good taste to go home with the Champagne.
And Tim, if Candice ever behaves in this manner again, walk away. You are human and entitled to admire the goods on the shelf at any time. They are there to be admired after all. Candace will just have to accept that you appreciate sexy things and have to learn to appreciate them with you. Otherwise, she is trying to manipulate you to be someone you are not... and that is simply not acceptable. Believe me, I've been through this and it does not end well.
@@joshuafalade4754 I made no point about trust. My point is about the manipulations of insecure people of their partners, which is an unhealthy way to conduct a relationship. I have no need for hacking my partner's phone. If I felt insecure about my relationship, I'd ask and gauge the response, I wouldn't lower myself to hacking.
FYI, my wife got me into sailing and taught me everything I know.
That’s awesome! 😎
MGTOW....
That is all.
Knolage dropped.... .
My opinion is Tim that you have a fantastic first mate and only needs nurturing and training more than yelling and putting in her place....you have the best Tim...make proper use of it.
Ask me how I know lol
if he left the bitter end of the anchor chain unattached that's his fault not hers if the bitter end goes overboard
Thanks. Our bitter end in the story here was attached with a small line that would be easy to cut. The chain came down so fast it did everything but snap said line. That’s what made it to scary.
Love is same as a constitutional right....it all smoke and mirrors....end u louse
Tim is the better talker??
Remember I got 99 problems but a bitch not one........
He is a man .he is wired to look.
That's why men should do like most wildlife they mate and then they get their own apartment, so they don't have to put up with that jealous ,BS both sides, the devil has claimed a lot of Souls by using jealousy, and scorn, of a woman, the bottom line women please grow up you can't change nature if you that insecure about yourself go to the gym.