Hey, just wanted to say I'm sorry you're struggling and I really feel you. I felt exactly the same way when I went back to work in Japan for a few years after uni, and it's honestly the main reason I left, I think. I was so self-conscious those few years because every time I would go outside I knew that everyone perceived me as somebody I wasn't, exactly like your experience in the convenience store. I felt like nobody ever saw me for who I was, and it hurt a lot. And I had so many interactions with Japanese people who were almost disappointed when they found out that I grew up in Japan, because they were expecting some token foreigner who they could interact with, and they always just wanted to ask me about the UK. The feeling that the country you grew up in will never truly accept you as one of them, no matter how hard you try to conform (in a culture that raised you to conform).. is honestly pretty crushing, and I think it's something that can eat away at you without you even noticing. Now I'm in the UK again, I miss Japan for sure, but I just don't have that same self-consciousness, and I'm much more at ease interacting with strangers. I don't really have any answers, but I wanted to say thank you for talking about this - it's really validating to hear somebody else's similar experiences. It sounds like a lot is up in the air for you right now, but I hope you find your path in time. :)
You really summed it up really well. Thank you Kathryn. I think it’s really a hard concept to understand if you’ve never experienced the same thing. It’s especially a super foreign concept for people from multicultural nations. Always happy to know somebody out there has experienced something similar and can understand and relate.
I grew up in the US in a predominately Latin area and am full Japanese. I moved back to Japan when I was 14 and finished High School in a regular Japanese school. As someone who is older and in a way experienced the same thing. At Japanese markets they assume that I don't speak English so when I know their dominant language is Japanese I speak to them purposefully in Japanese. But I know in Japan its like it still doesn't register. Actors in the US have the same issue when they try out for ethnic jobs because of stereotypes depicted in media. We have to learn that people are not just one thing. I consider myself Ethnically and culturally Japanese and American, but also culturally competent in LA Latin and to some extent Mexican. We are never one dimensional and don't be discouraged when others try to put you in or try to take you out of the box that they have designed for themselves. We are not in boxes but in Venn Diagrams that intersect.
Something that really helps also with this is remembering actively all the positive interactions of the day where either people straight up talked to you in normal Japanese or you initiated the conversion and they didn’t seem to bat an eye. I’m not living your case at all but I had a huge cultural difference from the country I grew up in (France) and when I finally reached post studies and had financial stability I immigrated (and my whole family followed not long after). I didn’t had trouble fitting in, I didn’t stood out, I had great best friends and girlfriends and an awesome life in a great European country but my strong cultural and internal identity always made me feel a wall/difference with the people and I had to feel complete on that side which I couldn’t do staying in France. It’s was so important that I left the greener grass for a lesser one but that was the price to pay for my internal and daily peace.
Hi! I hope you find the opportunity to read my comment. I don’t know if this will make a difference for you because the hurt is so constant and uncomfortable, but you are educating countless people about what it feels like to live as a minority in the midst of an almost monolithic majority culture and ethnicity. There are so many Asians in America that have lived here for 3 or more generations - some reaching far enough back that their ancestors fought in the Civil War - and yet they are still treated as “other” in parts of the US that have a white majority. Everyone wants to know what they are, making them feel like bugs on the end of a stick. Doubtless it’s never comfortable. Your pain can be turned into an educational force that helps people to be sensitive to the feelings of their neighbors - to welcome them with more open arms. Keep sharing! Your voice and life matters to many ❤️
I totally get you Joshua. When I used to live in Japan these things used to drive me nuts something. My bf who's a foreigner born and bred in Japan (exactly like you) has learned to accept it but still when you are in a bad mood or something it's kind of insulting and you get mad.
I just want to say I'm glad I found your channel. I'm going to recommend my oldest son to follow you. He has been studying Japanese for 3 years, and he is really into Japanese language and culture. Ceep your head up, be prowd of hwo you are. No one is going to define you but you.
I'm so happy to meet you! I've always felt so attached to Japanese culture since I was very small; and the shift of perspective helped me find hope and sanity, growing up in North America. I've always been afraid however because of the view of judgement if you are outside the normal. Despite that; the language and culture feels like a sense of a lost home and I can't quite explain. I've been lucky to have met many in your situation in japan; of many varying ethic backgrounds. The story is usually very similar. In contrast: Another youtuber: 'Ask Shogo' goes into great detail about the toxic aspects of Japanese culture similar to what you have described. For him He was born in Kyoto but lived in North America for much of his youth. Not sure if you've had a chance to connect to his channel. Feels like theres a larger story shaping ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ That this is a special place in time; where we are so interconnected that has never before been possible in earths history. I guess thats because of many reasons; I love our international community. Yet we continue to discover there appears to be prejudice that exists in every culture... These discussions and connection shedding light on things many have had to deal with in silence for very long. Sorry for the long comment n.n////~☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ FIGURED I would before you get tons of new subscribers. Wonderful channel and wishing you all the best!
I live in a student town and cashier will often talk to me in english (I guess bc of my appearance). So I understand your situation, mine is not as brutal as yours. Take care!
So happy to see your vids so frequently as of late ☺️ I think it’s only a matter of time before your channel blows up, and although the TV programming in Japan is quite outdated like you said, I really do think that going on those types of channels and plugging your UA-cam will prove to be a fast-pass to success for you. I def see you being a talk show host in the future, probably on Japanese TV. Because the audience who REALLY needs to see your content & learn new things are the Japanese viewers of Japanese TV.
I went through something similar. Never feel offended, people see this as a sign of weakness and will just laugh, they're probably not doing it to be mean, they just don't understand because they never went through it and their mind doesn't quite understand it as seeing Europeans is usually seeing a tourist or business person. Don't feel foreign though as Ainu are the native people of Japan and were wiped out by these new people, I wouldn't say this to a Japanese though as you're relationship will then be about making each other feel uncomfortable based on nationality. I'd use this to your advantage as you're rare, you have a unique insight which is valuable.
Wow, that must be hard to you to think about this every day and not being accepted and struggle with your identity, just because the inhabitants of the country treat you like a foreigner. I just was thinking about my friend, who was born in Germany and studied japanese and moved to Tokyo, married a Japanese guy and raising two lovelly kids together and one of them attends school in a few weeks and how it is for him to grow up in a splited situation like this. does he feel like you? Probably not, because he is looking like a japanese kid. I love to listen to your interviews, these give interesting insights to this world. Ok, talked too much, I have to pack my bag, the flight to Tokyo will start in less than 1 day.
Your story is a very special one. Im amazed how well you speak both english and Japanese. You sound like a native Japanese and American. I envy your skills. Just gained a new subscriber.
I understand what you are saying. I just moved here. I am trying to learn Japanese. I know the word for bag and the hand gesture, and I can see how it is annoying since it is your whole life. of course there are times I have no Idea what they said and sometimes it is just that it was too fast. I am sure it also can be a little hard for the Japanese because I have met Foreigners who are like "no I am not learning Japanese" which I feel is rude but they do that and then make Japanese people deal with their refusal to learn. Too many English speakers feel that the world needs to just speak English and they shouldn't have to speak anything else (especially in the US) so the assumption you just don't speak Japanese is I am sure what they expect. I also wouldn't be surprised if people tell them they can speak Japanese and then they can't. I honestly don't think there is anything you can do. The people who know you will know that you are a native speaker and the ones who don't are going to assume you can't speak Japanese at all.
Yeah the same thing happens here in the US especially to ppl that don’t look white or black. I’m Asian American but thankfully never experienced anything like this (probably cuz I’m from LA) but ik for sure others have experienced something like this and get asked the really infamous question “Where are you really from?”
I always find comments like this so interesting, my parents are from Ghana while I was born here. So whenever I ask someone like hey where is your family from or something of that nature I’m genuinely interested in there background. I have noticed some Asians perceive it as me meaning you’re not American go back or something, I mean I get it cuz they can’t read my mind but then if I genuinely want to know about their background how would I ask without it coming off like I’m saying they aren’t American? Genuine question
Hey I get what you’re saying. I know some ppl might just be genuinely curious and interested on where an Asian person’s background is from. It may sound offensive at first and some ppl may ask it to purposely offend them but there are others that just wanna know where they’re from especially when meeting someone for the first time. I usually say I’m from the US but if they are genuinely curious on where my parents originally came from, I tell them what country they’re from especially if I’m making a new friend or something. I know Joshua goes through similar things like this except it’s the opposite since he grew up in Japan as a European looking person.
@@taylor2533 yeah I just remember being in an Asian American class and asking this and her reaction was as if I was saying you don’t belong here. I was so confused because I was like ???? If I meant to say that I would say that haha. But I bet it’s because she’s dealt with people that meant it what say which Is sad
@@Mr_Archer15 Because say that is considered rude in other countries too, people from USA when they say things like "were are you from?" even though the person is from USA is kinda offensive or when the person says she/he is from USA and get a reply like "No,seriously were are you really from?" is like you invalidate their nationality . I think if you want to ask that in confidence you can say that your parents are from Ghana first to breaking the ice.
That's racism. What you're experiencing is racism. And that's never okay. I'm a dual national but both sides are white and speak English so I never got a lot of flak. But even I had some who am I moments. You can be multiple things. Japanese law may not be there yet for nationality but you can be multiple things. And that's awesome. And just as a kid born and raised in England from Somali parents or who has Somali grandparents is English but also has other ctural and historical things gs to draw from and may not look like the majority..... you're in the same situation over there in Japan. Even if the law doesn't recognise it. It's okay to be multiple things. In who you are and how you see yourself you don't have to choose.
I get that. It’s clear from the politics that Japan is behind in women’s politics, racism and and classism. But warning Japan, you gotta figure out a way to get your parents and grandparents to try to see another perspective. The west is fucked too. Same shit here! Hang in there, we’re all slowly dying in a way every day but there’s still a lot to look forward to
You need more exposure. The more people know who you are in Japan like a rock star the less problems of guess you'll have on your daily life. Go on TV etc get exposed let that face shine. Instead of assuming everyone else should know because you lived there it's just the way it is. Like how in America any oriental person is assumed Chinese lol it's just how any Spanish speaker in America is assumed Mexican. In Japan since you look European you'll always have that conundrum but you can be the voice for all who feel that way even for those who are a oriental looking or half black etc. I think you are very brave and I WISH YOU DID JAPANESE LESSONS YOU'D MAKE A FORTUNE ON UA-cam with subscriptions so consider that also in another channel in the future. Then get patreon service. Your English is so good and you are native Japanese speaker you can help so many people in so many ways!! All the best !!
I found it interesting that you mentioned your interest in “social issues,” but never named precisely what social issues engage you. I thought that lack of specificity, avoiding possible offense or controversy, is an example of your Japanese identity. You also avoid the use of the word “racism” which defines the type of experiences you’re having on the job: managing the dominant culture’s stereotypes and assumptions based solely on your appearance and race/ethnicity. You were interested in other’s identity: I’m a gay, Jewish male who grew up in the American South. I had to navigate being called a “Christ-killer, a “dirty Jew,” & a “f*g.” I grew up to marry a wonderful Hispanic man and together we’ve had to navigate, racism and homophobia. You refer obliquely to the amount of pain you feel every day living in a country which will always treat you like an alien. This isn’t a “1st world problem.” Perhaps minimizing your feelings is another way you embody Japanese cultural values? You seek to avoid directly expressing thoughts and feelings which might create awkwardness? I hope you find a path that allows you to live a whole and happy life.
Really sorry you're struggling with this. I've never experienced anything like this in my life, but it sounds like you feel like you're constantly being patronized when people speak to you like the clerk did. It may not be a direct or intended insult, but I'm pretty sure it feels just like someone constantly insulting, or very least, underestimating you.
This is the first video I watch from you and I'm at the 1:25 mark... Let's see if my gaydar as a gay man works... You seem to be gay to me... But maybe not? You don't have to answer obviously
Its comforting to know - you'll never loose your 外人カード
Hey, just wanted to say I'm sorry you're struggling and I really feel you. I felt exactly the same way when I went back to work in Japan for a few years after uni, and it's honestly the main reason I left, I think. I was so self-conscious those few years because every time I would go outside I knew that everyone perceived me as somebody I wasn't, exactly like your experience in the convenience store. I felt like nobody ever saw me for who I was, and it hurt a lot. And I had so many interactions with Japanese people who were almost disappointed when they found out that I grew up in Japan, because they were expecting some token foreigner who they could interact with, and they always just wanted to ask me about the UK. The feeling that the country you grew up in will never truly accept you as one of them, no matter how hard you try to conform (in a culture that raised you to conform).. is honestly pretty crushing, and I think it's something that can eat away at you without you even noticing. Now I'm in the UK again, I miss Japan for sure, but I just don't have that same self-consciousness, and I'm much more at ease interacting with strangers. I don't really have any answers, but I wanted to say thank you for talking about this - it's really validating to hear somebody else's similar experiences. It sounds like a lot is up in the air for you right now, but I hope you find your path in time. :)
You really summed it up really well. Thank you Kathryn. I think it’s really a hard concept to understand if you’ve never experienced the same thing. It’s especially a super foreign concept for people from multicultural nations. Always happy to know somebody out there has experienced something similar and can understand and relate.
I grew up in the US in a predominately Latin area and am full Japanese. I moved back to Japan when I was 14 and finished High School in a regular Japanese school. As someone who is older and in a way experienced the same thing. At Japanese markets they assume that I don't speak English so when I know their dominant language is Japanese I speak to them purposefully in Japanese. But I know in Japan its like it still doesn't register. Actors in the US have the same issue when they try out for ethnic jobs because of stereotypes depicted in media. We have to learn that people are not just one thing. I consider myself Ethnically and culturally Japanese and American, but also culturally competent in LA Latin and to some extent Mexican. We are never one dimensional and don't be discouraged when others try to put you in or try to take you out of the box that they have designed for themselves. We are not in boxes but in Venn Diagrams that intersect.
Something that really helps also with this is remembering actively all the positive interactions of the day where either people straight up talked to you in normal Japanese or you initiated the conversion and they didn’t seem to bat an eye.
I’m not living your case at all but I had a huge cultural difference from the country I grew up in (France) and when I finally reached post studies and had financial stability I immigrated (and my whole family followed not long after).
I didn’t had trouble fitting in, I didn’t stood out, I had great best friends and girlfriends and an awesome life in a great European country but my strong cultural and internal identity always made me feel a wall/difference with the people and I had to feel complete on that side which I couldn’t do staying in France. It’s was so important that I left the greener grass for a lesser one but that was the price to pay for my internal and daily peace.
Hi!
I hope you find the opportunity to read my comment. I don’t know if this will make a difference for you because the hurt is so constant and uncomfortable, but you are educating countless people about what it feels like to live as a minority in the midst of an almost monolithic majority culture and ethnicity. There are so many Asians in America that have lived here for 3 or more generations - some reaching far enough back that their ancestors fought in the Civil War - and yet they are still treated as “other” in parts of the US that have a white majority. Everyone wants to know what they are, making them feel like bugs on the end of a stick. Doubtless it’s never comfortable.
Your pain can be turned into an educational force that helps people to be sensitive to the feelings of their neighbors - to welcome them with more open arms. Keep sharing! Your voice and life matters to many ❤️
Thank you for your kind words!
I totally get you Joshua. When I used to live in Japan these things used to drive me nuts something. My bf who's a foreigner born and bred in Japan (exactly like you) has learned to accept it but still when you are in a bad mood or something it's kind of insulting and you get mad.
I just want to say I'm glad I found your channel.
I'm going to recommend my oldest son to follow you.
He has been studying Japanese for 3 years, and he is really into Japanese language and culture.
Ceep your head up, be prowd of hwo you are.
No one is going to define you but you.
Thank you Jennie 😊😊
I'm so happy to meet you!
I've always felt so attached to Japanese culture since I was very small; and the shift of perspective helped me find hope and sanity, growing up in North America.
I've always been afraid however because of the view of judgement if you are outside the normal.
Despite that; the language and culture feels like a sense of a lost home and I can't quite explain.
I've been lucky to have met many in your situation in japan; of many varying ethic backgrounds.
The story is usually very similar.
In contrast:
Another youtuber:
'Ask Shogo' goes into great detail about the toxic aspects of Japanese culture similar to what you have described.
For him He was born in Kyoto but lived in North America for much of his youth. Not sure if you've had a chance to connect to his channel.
Feels like theres a larger story shaping ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
That this is a special place in time; where we are so interconnected that has never before been possible in earths history.
I guess thats because of many reasons;
I love our international community.
Yet we continue to discover there appears to be prejudice that exists in every culture... These discussions and connection shedding light on things many have had to deal with in silence for very long.
Sorry for the long comment n.n////~☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
FIGURED I would before you get tons of new subscribers.
Wonderful channel and wishing you all the best!
Thank you for finding me Sakura!
I live in a student town and cashier will often talk to me in english (I guess bc of my appearance). So I understand your situation, mine is not as brutal as yours. Take care!
“Do you need a baaagggggg??” 😂😂😂😂😂☠️☠️☠️☠️
I couldn’t help myself haha
So happy to see your vids so frequently as of late ☺️ I think it’s only a matter of time before your channel blows up, and although the TV programming in Japan is quite outdated like you said, I really do think that going on those types of channels and plugging your UA-cam will prove to be a fast-pass to success for you. I def see you being a talk show host in the future, probably on Japanese TV. Because the audience who REALLY needs to see your content & learn new things are the Japanese viewers of Japanese TV.
I went through something similar. Never feel offended, people see this as a sign of weakness and will just laugh, they're probably not doing it to be mean, they just don't understand because they never went through it and their mind doesn't quite understand it as seeing Europeans is usually seeing a tourist or business person. Don't feel foreign though as Ainu are the native people of Japan and were wiped out by these new people, I wouldn't say this to a Japanese though as you're relationship will then be about making each other feel uncomfortable based on nationality. I'd use this to your advantage as you're rare, you have a unique insight which is valuable.
Thank you!!
Fascinating reflections Joshua, thanks for posting. Hope you got your pants clean. :-)
Hahaha 😝
I love your content Joshua wonderful how open you are and love your unique perspective
Joshua I admire you being on UA-cam and sharing things with us ! Thank you for that !
Keep going !
#SNACKYSNACKTEAMFOREVER
LOVE YOU KIM #OUTCASTFORLIFE
Much love, sir ♥♥
Congrats on getting the part Joshua!
Thank you 😊
Wow, that must be hard to you to think about this every day and not being accepted and struggle with your identity, just because the inhabitants of the country treat you like a foreigner. I just was thinking about my friend, who was born in Germany and studied japanese and moved to Tokyo, married a Japanese guy and raising two lovelly kids together and one of them attends school in a few weeks and how it is for him to grow up in a splited situation like this. does he feel like you? Probably not, because he is looking like a japanese kid. I love to listen to your interviews, these give interesting insights to this world. Ok, talked too much, I have to pack my bag, the flight to Tokyo will start in less than 1 day.
You’re moving to Japan?
Your story is a very special one. Im amazed how well you speak both english and Japanese. You sound like a native Japanese and American. I envy your skills. Just gained a new subscriber.
oh thank you Kent! means a lot!
Matsuko Deluxe
Reacting from the corner
Japanese TV
I understand what you are saying. I just moved here. I am trying to learn Japanese. I know the word for bag and the hand gesture, and I can see how it is annoying since it is your whole life.
of course there are times I have no Idea what they said and sometimes it is just that it was too fast. I am sure it also can be a little hard for the Japanese
because I have met Foreigners who are like "no I am not learning Japanese" which I feel is rude but they do that and then make Japanese people deal with their refusal to learn. Too many English speakers feel that the world needs to just speak English and they shouldn't have to speak anything else (especially in the US) so the assumption you just don't speak Japanese is I am sure what they expect. I also wouldn't be surprised if people tell them they can speak Japanese and then they can't.
I honestly don't think there is anything you can do. The people who know you will know that you are a native speaker and the ones who don't are going to assume you can't speak Japanese at all.
You are right 😊
Yeah the same thing happens here in the US especially to ppl that don’t look white or black. I’m Asian American but thankfully never experienced anything like this (probably cuz I’m from LA) but ik for sure others have experienced something like this and get asked the really infamous question “Where are you really from?”
I always find comments like this so interesting, my parents are from Ghana while I was born here. So whenever I ask someone like hey where is your family from or something of that nature I’m genuinely interested in there background. I have noticed some Asians perceive it as me meaning you’re not American go back or something, I mean I get it cuz they can’t read my mind but then if I genuinely want to know about their background how would I ask without it coming off like I’m saying they aren’t American? Genuine question
Hey I get what you’re saying. I know some ppl might just be genuinely curious and interested on where an Asian person’s background is from. It may sound offensive at first and some ppl may ask it to purposely offend them but there are others that just wanna know where they’re from especially when meeting someone for the first time. I usually say I’m from the US but if they are genuinely curious on where my parents originally came from, I tell them what country they’re from especially if I’m making a new friend or something. I know Joshua goes through similar things like this except it’s the opposite since he grew up in Japan as a European looking person.
@@taylor2533 yeah I just remember being in an Asian American class and asking this and her reaction was as if I was saying you don’t belong here. I was so confused because I was like ???? If I meant to say that I would say that haha. But I bet it’s because she’s dealt with people that meant it what say which Is sad
@@Mr_Archer15 Because say that is considered rude in other countries too, people from USA when they say things like "were are you from?" even though the person is from USA is kinda offensive or when the person says she/he is from USA and get a reply like "No,seriously were are you really from?" is like you invalidate their nationality .
I think if you want to ask that in confidence you can say that your parents are from Ghana first to breaking the ice.
@@franciscovilcheavila960 yeah I said the Ghana bit afterwards and she was still like weird. But you’re right probably have to lead with it
Hey Joshua! Hang in there!!!
Thank you Matt!!!
That's racism. What you're experiencing is racism. And that's never okay.
I'm a dual national but both sides are white and speak English so I never got a lot of flak. But even I had some who am I moments.
You can be multiple things. Japanese law may not be there yet for nationality but you can be multiple things. And that's awesome. And just as a kid born and raised in England from Somali parents or who has Somali grandparents is English but also has other ctural and historical things gs to draw from and may not look like the majority..... you're in the same situation over there in Japan. Even if the law doesn't recognise it.
It's okay to be multiple things. In who you are and how you see yourself you don't have to choose.
I get that. It’s clear from the politics that Japan is behind in women’s politics, racism and and classism. But warning Japan, you gotta figure out a way to get your parents and grandparents to try to see another perspective. The west is fucked too. Same shit here! Hang in there, we’re all slowly dying in a way every day but there’s still a lot to look forward to
You need more exposure. The more people know who you are in Japan like a rock star the less problems of guess you'll have on your daily life. Go on TV etc get exposed let that face shine. Instead of assuming everyone else should know because you lived there it's just the way it is. Like how in America any oriental person is assumed Chinese lol it's just how any Spanish speaker in America is assumed Mexican. In Japan since you look European you'll always have that conundrum but you can be the voice for all who feel that way even for those who are a oriental looking or half black etc. I think you are very brave and I WISH YOU DID JAPANESE LESSONS YOU'D MAKE A FORTUNE ON UA-cam with subscriptions so consider that also in another channel in the future. Then get patreon service. Your English is so good and you are native Japanese speaker you can help so many people in so many ways!! All the best !!
Hi from Canada:)
Hello there!
I found it interesting that you mentioned your interest in “social issues,” but never named precisely what social issues engage you. I thought that lack of specificity, avoiding possible offense or controversy, is an example of your Japanese identity. You also avoid the use of the word “racism” which defines the type of experiences you’re having on the job: managing the dominant culture’s stereotypes and assumptions based solely on your appearance and race/ethnicity. You were interested in other’s identity: I’m a gay, Jewish male who grew up in the American South. I had to navigate being called a “Christ-killer, a “dirty Jew,” & a “f*g.” I grew up to marry a wonderful Hispanic man and together we’ve had to navigate, racism and homophobia. You refer obliquely to the amount of pain you feel every day living in a country which will always treat you like an alien. This isn’t a “1st world problem.” Perhaps minimizing your feelings is another way you embody Japanese cultural values? You seek to avoid directly expressing thoughts and feelings which might create awkwardness? I hope you find a path that allows you to live a whole and happy life.
I know I’m culturally Japanese and I’m proud of it. Thanks for sharing your background☺️
Really sorry you're struggling with this. I've never experienced anything like this in my life, but it sounds like you feel like you're constantly being patronized when people speak to you like the clerk did. It may not be a direct or intended insult, but I'm pretty sure it feels just like someone constantly insulting, or very least, underestimating you.
This is the first video I watch from you and I'm at the 1:25 mark... Let's see if my gaydar as a gay man works... You seem to be gay to me... But maybe not? You don't have to answer obviously