No One is Going to Do it For You
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- Опубліковано 31 лип 2024
- Hop in for a raw and real conversation about building resilient in the face of hardship, supporting yourself in whatever you need and creating an atmosphere to persevere and grow through whatever it is you are going through.
Kalyn's Instagram ▹ / kalynnicholson13
If you want early access to videos, bonus checklists, join the yoga studio, come to community events, enter monthly challenges or have more cozy/motivational content be sure to join the channel & become a member ✨
Kalyn's Books:
Catcher [dystopian fiction] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/B07G7QSGM2/...
Dancing With Elephants [poetry] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/1999415132/...
FEELS [self-development] ▹ www.amazon.com/dp/1999415124/...
Disclaimer: I am not a mental health specialist, just a Canadian gal with an old soul who likes to crack the ice on deep conversations that can foster personal growth and positive change.
❤ Thank you to eBay for sponsoring today's Coffee Talk!
Head to ebay.com to treat yourself to something lush.
You don't need to have everything figured out to move forward. Just take the next step.
Youre so righttt
indeed, I was so scared for a long time that I don't have "everything figured out"! Sometimes even a little old uncertainty is good for us :)
My husband died, leaving me a young widow with two kids. People don’t know what you’re going through and can’t help so you have to take care of yourself. I live right now for my children and my desperate need for them to be ok with this trauma. I have had to completely change my diet so my body can deal with the chronic stress. My life is completely different now.
“You’re not all of the things that you tell yourself in your lowest moments.” I needed that. ❤
✍️ Edit: just finished the whole thing, I’m excited for you. Enjoy August, thanks for checking in with us and publishing this particular piece before your break. PS: we request an end of summer compilation of Easton’s first sunny season! Take care of yourself.
I really needed to hear this. 🥺 I've been pummelled with so many of my biggest triggers this year--it's been one thing after another, and suddenly a life that finally seemed relatively easy after over a decade of non-stop personal growth feels very very hard again. To top it off, I'm dealing with health issues too as I was diagnosed this week with spinal abnormalities. I was already stretched to the max; I didn't need this.
Thank you for reminding us that some years just suck and are hard, but it's an opportunity to build resilience and get stronger. 💪🏻 So, not a loss or a detour after all. We're still right where we need to be.
Wow, it’s exactly the same for me! Triggers triggers triggers, huge ones, after 10 years of many ”ok” and ”good” and ”great” periods.
This is tough!!!
@@SwedishTourist Stay strong. 🤗❤️
„I don’t need anybody to affirm it, I don’t need to justify it to anybody.“
I know that this was not the central point of this coffee talk, but it summed up another current journey (besides resilience) of mine as well. I have noticed myself slipping into a codependent friendship of constant contact, little personal (mental) space and a constant back-and-forth of validation and affirmation. We have almost become each other‘s therapists and i started feeling the pressure of being available 24/7, making someone my first priority who doesn’t quite put me on the same pedestal and soaking up the other person’s emotions to the point of feeling like i exist more within her emotions and mindset and mine.
Therefore, I have started exercising internal validation and some emotional independence. I feel so bad for letting my friend down in this way, but being super emotional and sensitive, i cannot keep taking over the problems of other people 24/7 without boundaries, especially if those people have very big emotions as well, so this quote hit deep and inspired me to keep going.
Regarding the actual point of the coffeetalk: god I needed this. I have been struggling with my health, grief, a really long friendship breaking apart and keeping up with uni so much. I‘m finding beauty and joy and gratitude in the small steps of recovery post-surgery, in kind people, in my love for what I study. Nevertheless, it’s been hard. Just two days ago i totally got lost in moping and self-pity (which is also important and necessary imo) as i battle a major health setback, but this is exactly what I needed. Thank you so, so much
You have no idea how much I needed this ❤ I’m in a very difficult season in my life right now and I feel like you really reminded me of some important things… I repress repress repress and I know I need to let myself feel what I need to feel. Also just remembering that my feelings are valid. I hope you get the rest you need in August and can refill your cup! ❤️
I was feeling overwhelmed and thinking about what used to bring me peace when I was younger. Your videos were the first thing that came to my mind. It has been almost 4 years since I last saw your videos. I am glad my mind remembered what I needed.
You know I never thought needed a coffee talk so much I need to learn how to deal with how my brain works and I appreciate your voice helping and learning ❤
Thank you for this! I have been feeling so down and defeated lately - trying to "stay positive" can only last for so long. I needed this pep talk and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Your video today was perfect for what I am going through right now. I woke up thinking how I don't feel as much of a spark or zest as I used to for life, feeling burned out, and I thought "how can I be more resilient?" Then I saw your video. ❤❤ I always appreciate so much the talks you put out and I am fortunate to have found a friend like you on this corner of the internet. I can relate 100% when you said that you tend to gaslight yourself into downplaying your problems because "you have a roof over your head and food to eat etc" - I do the same thing. I am trying to practice accepting my feelings and meeting myself where I am, but it has been tough. I am still trying to be a better version of myself everyday. Take good care of yourself girl. I hope you feel your metaphorical "cup" refilling and that you feel rejuvnated throughout the month of August 💜 Much love!
Thank you for the great topic covered, Kalyn! :) Indeed, need to just take the next step somehow, and everything works out and is "figureoutable". :) Thanks again!
I am so happy you talked about this. I really needed to hear this. I had to put my cat down because of cancer the other day and I've been a complete emotional wreck holding on for dear life wondering how I will get through this awful emptiness and sadness and pain. She was always there for me and gave me so much love and comfort and joy. But I am learning to accept that it is okay to be extremely sad about missing her and I can still get through life with all kinds of emotions coming and going. Thank you for the super helpful and comforting content Kalyn, it really helps me feel a lot better and put things into perspective for me.💙
this is such a good talk and i’m sure i will be returning to it at least a couple of times. i’ve had a rough go of it lately with some family issues resurfacing, someone’s poor decisions and the effect has on one of our most vulnerable and dependent members, we were all very caught up in our own day to day that we didn’t realize how much that member needs the rest of us to help him. years of hurt and negligence was resurged and now we’re all doing what we can to make that situation better. but i live in another state so i wasn’t actively involved in any of it, i couldn’t really do much. all i can do is morally support those who are taking action. on top of that my dad was just diagnosed with cancer. we don’t know the extent of it yet, we’re all remaining as optimistic as possible but this scary reality is looming over us and we don’t know what’s going to happen. i’m trying not to think worst-case, but my inclination is to prepare myself for worst-case. and again, i’m states away. i’ll need to buy plane tickets or take a three day drive to go see him (which i will, i already have a plan in place but it feels so far away). and i’m about to start my first semester in a while at community college and i’m really trying to throw myself into working on school and my own projects to make my dream job/dream life my reality and i’m really hoping i can work through all of this family stuff and also achieve what i desire.
Thank you for this reminder Kalyn, really appreciate it. I KNOW you will come back more resilient and clearer headed after your break, for it is the way it goes.
Enjoy your time with yourself, with the fam, and everything in between.
Sending love
7 mins in and you touch my soul with your words. Gave birth to my beautiful angel baby girl three days ago. My parents have been abusive, are abusive and abused me till this very day. I try to yell, scream , try to reason with them to treat me better. I envy people whose parents care for them, called the mothers in the same hospital room asking how they are, whereas my father called me a prostitute and whore. And later on, they say it’s my fault that I trigger them. I want to be better for my daughter, give her what I didn’t get. And I need to accept my parents for who they are. They will never realise or regret hurting me.
I mourn the loss of my parents. Both of them are still alive, but I still mourn my childhood/ and parents lives knowing I deserved so much more. It’s feels like I suffered a great loss, one that I will never get the chance to get back. I totally know how you feel. Thank goodness we get to try and give our children the life that we couldn’t have. The lives that became dead within our own lives….but that will be brought back to life in our children’s
Sending love and hugs your way. You are so strong, never forget that!❤✨
I'm oftentimes going through difficult situations. I'm currently ill and it's impeding my progress on the type up of this draft of my book. Whenever I get re-motivated and back on track, something comes in to challenge it. I've hardly gotten sleep due to illness, dog watching, and nightmares. I'm so glad you expressed awareness of hard times and what you're going through. I'm happy your child has brought a bright light to you. Great to see you taking a much needed break this month.
I needed this Kalyn, thank you so much! I did get emotional during this talk ❤
You rock lady!! 💪💪💪just clicked on this and it spoke to me!! God bless us all with inner strength & tenacity to do what we need to do❤
I really needed this today ❤❤ thank you so much for sharing this 😊
This resonated so much with me. I agree a lot with your way of viewing life and resilience, and I think it's a really healthy way to navigate through life. Thank you for your video, for your honesty and for your thoughts. Take care of yourself, we'll be waiting for you, lots of love! ❤
Thank you for this video. Bless you and your family.
This was what I needed to hear as my anxiety has been tough and there times were I want to hide. I am willing to fight so thank yoy
I've been waiting for a new coffee talk. Love that it's on self-care Sunday.
0:00: 😌 The speaker reflects on their current hardships and the importance of taking time for oneself.
3:38: 😔 The speaker reflects on the challenges and bright moments of the year, acknowledging the need to face and accept difficult situations.
7:01: 💪 Facing challenges and emotions head-on builds resilience and personal growth.
10:35: 🔥 Ignoring or downplaying your emotions and hardships will only lead to a breakdown or a loss of self-identity.
13:56: 💆 Giving yourself permission to own and accept your feelings and behaviors, and introducing healthy coping mechanisms.
18:19: 🌟 Take time for yourself and focus on what you need to do to create change and support yourself.
21:24: 💪 You can build resilience through hard times and do hard things.
24:22: ☕ The speaker is taking a break in August to prioritize their health and refill their cup.
Recap by Tammy AI
Ayy bless you
No has the time and energy to put out your fire cause theyre busy putting out their own fires...so. true. Thank you.
Wow I am brand new to this channel and I am so delighted and floored by your beautiful words and healing energy. So glad I found your page 🖤
take all the time you need ❤ send you good vibes ✨
this came at a good time as I'm in a funk as I've been dealing with cup half full sorta speak as in a way my personal life as my boyfriend and I are going through a ldr aka long distant relationship and seems like lately I've felt like going through two paths as there's been negative thoughts etc so thank you for this inspiring video fabulous video
kalyn, i just discovered your channel and wow - did i need to hear this today. thank you
I needed this 🌱
New subscriber! Thank you for reminding us to give yourself that time!
I really appreciate your coffee talks 😊 amazing human being that bring relief to your listeners 😊🙌🏻💙 hugs from Mexico City
Hi Kalyn, I haven’t finished the video but I just had to say this right now 3:12 because I relate so much and find comfort in “both can be true”.
I feel like I’m just coming out of the worst of my postpartum journey. This last year was also my first year as a mom. I genuinely feel like my son has saved me this year.. whether it was his little smile when I opened his door in the morning or just the fact that I HAD to get myself up because he needed me to provide him with his basic needs. Long story not so short-My dad passed away in my second trimester and I don’t know much about your mom but when you speak of your mom sometimes, I can apply the same themes to my relationship with my dad. In my therapy, we’ve been able to recognize that my dad was a narcissist who depended on alcohol and violence to show his anger… so it was a very confusing grief for me and hard for me to accept and realize that even tho I removed myself from my relationship with him by moving across the country, I was actually still trying to impress him. So when he died it was hard to realize that it was never my job to impress him to receive love. I’ve also started yoga and meditation and have had these downloads realizing that my father was never shown the love that I wanted either. My family is riddled with generational trauma and I just really want to do my best to make sure my son has the tools to navigate it all in the world.
Okay I’m done. Sorry this was scattered and maybe confusing. Turns out overexplaining is a codependent trauma response that I also have taken on as a trait. Lol still working on this one.
24:24 “we’re all out here just trekking our own trek”
Okay sorry to keep going but THANK YOU for taking this august break. I hope you find some peace and calm in your retreat. Pllleeease take care of your health. Not to add onto my sob story because I don’t even see it like that anymore…but.. I also faced the need to do, do, do this year. I’ve always been a high achiever at work and going back to work after maternity leave and not immediately being a rockstar at it and believing I wasn’t a good mom either, it sent me into a horrible breakdown. It was also the height of the formula shortage and I hated myself for not being a able to make more breast milk. I had a breakdown. The next day I woke up with Bell’s palsy. Half of my face was paralyzed and I really felt that quote of “if you don’t rest, your body will make you”. It took a month for my face to heal but it just showed me that wverything is all connected. I quit my job because the stress was scaring me into thinking my face would never heal if I stayed. And then I started doing my therapy more intentionally and showing up for myself where I was able to make some of the break through that I had in my above comment.
My heart goes out to you so much in this time. I’m so proud of you and you inspire me all of the time. Your talks about community and tribe also speak to me and I know it’s the next thing on my heart to conquer. I’m an infj introvert Libra sun Capricorn moon Sagittarius rising with childhood trauma… soooo I feel like the biggest neurotic introvert alien… who is still trying to learn how to have a basic convo that doesn’t turn into ..well this long winded rant. Lmao. I almost feel like I don’t want to “inflict” myself on others .. but the way you talk about how tribes can provide support calls me to just try to find one.
Okay I’m really done now. I love you and I hope you give yourself the grace that I feel you have given to us in your talks. Happy August.
🌑💛
I resonated so much with this. I’ve been going through some personal struggles and health struggles and really needed to hear this. You inspired me to take a step back from social media in my healing journey
I’m sending you love and warmth and wishing you a good recovery!
@@linibara1672 Thank you so much ❤️
I am so sorry I am behind. Please take care of yourself. You are a bright light in a dull world. We will be here when you get back.
I loved this video so much 😊
i feel so thankful to have come across you and your channel. Thank you so much, for every single word you've shared with us 💕
You're welcome ♥️♥️
Beautiful timing as always
I really enjoyed and connected with this chat 🤍
Love this ❤
I hope August gives you peace and energy. See you in September.
love you kalyn ❤
Think I needed this more than I'd like to admit. I'm currently facing two different life paths and constantly feel this pressure for other people to support either decision. This is mostly because I need to figure out if I'm choosing the right path. But I'm learning to be resilient regardless of whatever I choose.
Went to Santa monica Beach 🏖 was very fun but when u come back 🔙 to house reality strikes again
Muito obrigada por essa conversa
Você é tão bem-vindo (I hope this is right
❤❤❤❤❤
i think i was first comment?? and i’ve never been first? I’d like to thank the academy and-
You were 😂
@@KalynsCoffeeTalk Tbh, it’s extremely serendipitous that it’s THIS one. I’ve been through A LOT, but at some point, you have to start living for yourself and not coddling yourself. I’m literally working on deconstructing my learned helplessness Very good epi 🫶🏻
(also fk the current “drama” 🩷🩷🩷)
You are mentioned favorably in a video by Jen Luv out yesterday.
Just what i needed today😊 Sending you lots of love from Croatia!❤
Bok 🇭🇷 U Kanadi sam i fali mi more 💙 🌊 Pls send my regards. 😁
Pozdrav sa najljepseg mora na svijetu!😂❤
@@ivanas4644 Baš je najljepše more. 😁👋🏻
Are you bringing the KOZE back now that Jaclyn hill closed her brand ?
🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍🥰
I love you 💕
☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
Thank you
I would like to see more like this content, Kalyn.
great kaly keep going
🪷
Miss you! ❤
I hate jaccilyn !!