I am 65. I have Cerebral Palsy and Autism. I graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Electronics Engineering Technology. I worked on and off in industry from 1978 to 2001. Experienced Ageism and Ableism between 2001 to 2006. Retired on disability at age 48. I am a disability civil rights activist.
I liked this. Thank you. I became disabled when I was 33 after stroke. I was fit and healthy. Now I am partially blind and walking is hard and painful. It can happen to anyone. Life is little harder now and poverty is horrible, other than those, I am happy
I’m fairly new to being “disabled”. Meaning it has not been my entire life. I’ve been disabled for 15 years (I’m 48 now) due to a car wreck (not at fault) and a spinal cord injury. A couple of points I’d like to address. In regards to children… I had children prior to the injury and one after. I worried “what type of dad will I be. I can’t throw a ball with my son. I can’t teach them to ride bikes, etc”. What I finally came to was the love that was heightened. The slowed down pace that made for many great memories. You realize all those things we think are so important aren’t really what is really important at all. It’s the love, kindness that you teach and pass on that is. My injury I believe truly made me a better son, father, husband. I wouldn’t change anything even if I could. Now mine is not genetic but for me the only fear (regarding kids) I would have is passing on physical pain of that were possible. Not the aspect of being disabled. I’ve broken bones too many times to count. As a healthy younger man I healed. Spinal injury and nerve damage pain is something that is unexplainable and the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s 24/7 all the time. My body looks much different now. I was once very athletic and muscular. I qualified for the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta in Taekwondo. While it was honestly great to be able to do those things and look as I did the gains mentally and who it made me on the inside are leaps and bounds greater. The only true disability I see isn’t in the body but rather the mind. And that applies to all mankind. LOVED the documentary. What I would love to see improved is improvement in insurance and coverage. Most medical is covered. But next to nothing “quality of life” is. And to me that’s equally as important. Meaning accessibility to better chairs, like off road, hiking, household customs, etc etc. The list goes on and on. I would love to one day have the ability to go off-road. Where one tiny pebble or crack in pavement does not ruin your day There are things I need to work on. Things like not feeling like I’m holding my family back from let’s say something like a hike and things along those lines. I also need to work on not saying “I’m sorry” or “excuse me” meaning while out and about let’s say shopping for example. And just feeling like I’m in the way. I’m not. I’m no more in the way than anyone is. That’s a work in progress still.
Not sure where you are located, but here in Tennessee there is a state park that has "off road" wheel chairs ( they have tracks instead of tires) that are free to use for anyone who needs them. They say it's best to call ahead and Reserve one ( other wise it's first come first serve). I wish more places had this incredible resource available.
The man featured was very honest about his situation that included depression, sadness and hopelessness. All the others were what we usually see in these documentaries, seemingly upbeat about their disabilities and living a very positive existence. This is, l suspect, an unrealistic portrayal and therefore l appreciated the man's struggle which felt authentic.
So for you, if a person accepts their disability and states it doesn't affect happiness they are lying? I have a physical disability and i have struggled with depression, but I can tell you for the fact that having disability is NOT the reason I struggled with depression. it's has and always be external factors or things I wanted to achieve but didn't. Is me not achieving by product of my disability? it can be, since people are still very judgmental towards disability, but it's not because I have a disability, but because the society reject people like us. And you, disregarding all the other POV, other than person who struggles with acceptation of his disability, proves that the society has long way to go. It's also funny how you disregarded mentions of struggles from people who accepted their disability, because it doesn't align with the idea that you can be happy, struggle and still value of life as it is. I'm not saying that Chris' experience is not real or authentic or valid, because it is. But declaring that his struggles felt authentic while the rest - unrealistic is ableist af. Lesson for you - When someone tells you their perspective of their own life, don't invalidate or doubt it just because you can't imagine being in their shoes. I'm sure you don't have a disability, because if you did, you would understand how this is a very nuanced thing. And Chris if you see this, this is a very well done documentary. Thank you for making it & i wish you a lot of success.
@@alisha4902 thank you. Obviously, we all come at things from our own perspective. My opinion was based on the documentary and others very similar. Every human being suffers in their own way and most face difficulties, depression and struggle. Disability is often portrayed as of no or little consequence in a person's life , hence why l appreciated Chris' experience which felt more in depth and most likely realistic. I am not disabled. However, l have cared for relatives with dementia for many years and this too is often portrayed as unrealistic in the media and very rarely approaches the true horror of the disease. It is the documentary l was commenting on not every individual featured. I just felt it was unbalanced and too reliant on a happy, and ultimately unrealistic portrayal of disability.
I am very aware of the fact that the happiness or lack thereof a disabled person experiences in their life depends greatly on their level of independence, their possibilities to carry a fairly normal life, or if they experience pain or not, and very important; if they have an income that allows them to live a comfortable life, but I can only talk about my own experience. I am disabled (Wheelchair user) and I live independently, on my own. In my daily life I do mostly what I want to do, but most importantly; bar exceptional moments and circumstances, I don’t do what I don’t want to do, also my disability doesn't cause me any pain… All of that pretty much looks like happiness to me. I experience struggles? Sure, but is there a regular adult fortunate enough to be able to live a totally smooth, struggleless life? I for one do know no one who does. Someone can be disabled and despite her/his life’s struggles (Some of them linked to their condition, there’s no point in denying that) have a normal, happy life; of course, with its ups and dows, like everybody else’s life. As a disabled person myself I know that most able-bodied people will never believe it, due of their lack of knowledge regarding dissability and the many forms and degrees in which it can affect a person. No matter how much info they can get; their prejudices are carved in stone. They'll never change their opinions about the matter, so I just dont care. These are their prejudices and their narrow-minded beliefs, not mine. If they want to think that my life is miserable, it’s up to them, I cannot help it. On the other hand, there's something that has somehow shocked me in this documentary. The guy who filmed it would've liked to have a partner, but he flatly refuses the idea of having a relationship with a disabled woman (Same as the blonde girl...sorry I dont remember their names)...Hello? Do you really expect able-bodied people to give you a chance that you deny to a potential partner just because she or he is disabled?
I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta too! I am recovering from surgery to replace the hardware in my badly broken femur as I watch this. My OI is fairly mild and I walked normally until I was 38. Then I was in an accident that broke my other hip and femur and I had to use a walker for a long time. I am a professional folksinger and I continued to sing through all of my cascade of injuries that occurred as I got older. Now at 63 I am ( I hope) temporarily in a wheelchair. I am continuing my singing. I found this documentary very interesting and emotionally touching. I wish I had a wheelchair that allowed me to be on the beach! By the way, I have had long periods of great happiness in my life. But the deaths of my brother, my husband, and my best friend ( last year) were the worst crisises I have been through. When I break something, I just heal and pull myself up physically and emotionally again. Death is a lot harder to deal with.
"Happiness as a metric to guide policy"- the best conclusion presented. But folks seek personal thrills, immediate gratification. Any goal for common good is rejected by many. Thanks for your honest, valuable work here! We must all build a caring community around us. Great job Chris! 🌞
Amazing. Most of them tell you that they find happiness within theirselves. They live as a proof of that. If one keeps comparing self with other people (physically better in their eyes) then he/she will not be genuinely happy. True happiness has to be seek and found within oneself. What a priceless and invaluable lesson to watch.
Great film. I wish we heard more disabled voices on these everyday issues. Comforting to hear how other disabled people face the lack of partner or children as just something never going get.
Great work. For me it was very emotional. I am 49, still single & childless. Not what I had visioned my life would be like. I was born with hypermobile EDS. Mine isn't as bad as some, but I wasn't diagnosed until my late teens. I have a number of chronic conditions, some of which include Chronic Pain Syndrome, Chronic Medication Resistant Depression which I've had from the age of 8, Chronic Fatigue, Fluctuating Hearing Loss & a learning disability called Irlen Syndrome. I have had mobility problems on & off growing up, but I became paraplegic & wheelchair bound when I was 30 years old. All through school I was bullied, & had the odd friend here & there. The friends I did have didn't go to the same school as me. I didn't like school, I felt so alone. I was brought up in a Christian family. By the time I was 16 I had tried to take my life twice. Now I look back on it it was just a scream for help. Deep down inside I didn't want to die. My faith literally kept me alive. I don't live in the UK I live in Melbourne, Australia. I used to do alot of volunteer work growing up & loved looking after children especially babies. I have been a qualified Nanny since the age of 16. Young children accept you for what you are, not what others think you should be. My great niece already likes to push me around when we're at the shopping centre & likes to sit on my lap. I also wanted to be a nurse, but because of being in a wheelchair they say that I won't be able to forfil every part of the course. It should be about what you can do not what you can't do. I do have a Bachelors Degree in Disability Studies. I would like to learn to sit ski & travel overseas. I like bushwalking, camping, the beach, swimming & bikeriding. I also like cooking, gardening & going to a movie. I like to dine out sometimes or go for a coffee. And thinking about starting to do volunteer work again. I don't have anyone in a similar age group in my life that likes doing the same things. The friends I have I hardly get to see. I never get to go to their houses as there not wheelchair accessible. When we do meet we meet for coffee & a chat & that's it for maybe another 6 months. I'm in a dark hole that I can't seem to get out of. I've just given up, I'm uninspired & I'm sad & lonely. I'd love to have a partner & get married. I'd love to have children. I take relationships very seriously & think there about working together as equals; compromise; talking, listening & accepting how each other is feeling. The way I hear some women talk to their male partners is just disgusting. Their your partner/husband, not a child in your care. They should be treated & talked too like adults, not treated & talked too like you would talk to & treat a child. Both adults are equal, No One is the boss. Talk to each other with respect & treat each other with dignity. I've always thought like this about relationships. That's why I don't understand why I've never had a partner. Lately I've thought - Is it about the wheelchair & having a disability. People judge you on your appearance & ability before they even get to know you & what your capable of. I would love one of those self-propelled electric wheelchairs. But I can't afford one of those. I can't even afford to get a car for myself. My Mum drives me to my appointments etc. I'd love to just go & do what I want when I want, not wait around for someone else to take you.
Ending up single and childless with no interests in common with those around you is a much more universal issue than most folk care to admit. I have this outcome but it was caused by child abuse so there’s no visible disability to hold up as the reason - so that’s extra awkward in a way. Just being fundamentally damaged and unacceptable in society as a person.
I thank you for your honesty. I can emphasize a little as I'm am a recent amputee. I lost a lower leg. I have a few good friends and am grateful for them but now they do treat me slightly differently, whether they are aware of it or not. I feel like a nuisance or a burden and am trying to come to terms with all the things I can no longer do. Even simple things. You have, by your comments, given me perspective of my situation. I thank you for that and wish you well.
It really resonates and frustrates me too when people say they would rather die than live using a wheelchair. My father was actually one of those people. I do not need to always use mine now so I don’t hear or receive this type of treatment as much now. But it is a common theme in the rhetoric I see people utilize. My life is pretty good! It is peoples ableism and disableism that really challenges me emotionally and mentally. Not to say that I don’t experience certain challenges or difficulties due to disability, it’s just that I am able to adapt in most situations to do the same things other people do in life. I feel for you and Jake about the difficulty of navigating issues of our own mortality. I do not have the same type of connective tissue disorder but, I experienced something similar to basilar invagination. However, because my bones are not fragile I was candidate for occipito-cervical fusion. I also found the use of cervical collar helped me a lot, but it also brought a lot of unwanted attention. My dad was taken off life support because he had no brain stem function. Learning that internal decapitation and brain stem compression was a possible outcome and diagnosis hit me really hard. It was scary knowing the next time I fall or pass out may be my last moments in life. I still have myelopathy and/or cervical medullary syndrome but that doesn’t keep me from living an independent and fulfilling life! Unlike my father I feel like my life is valuable regardless of what physical, and environmental barriers life throws at me.
What an amazing film. I hope you keep making these wonderful films and changing the world one film at a time and I bet you find beautiful love and happiness. ❤
Christopher the man featured is a really good looking guy he is fit, and the bonus of him being comfortable with able bodied people is a great character trait, whomever if he ever chooses to find a steady partner will be a very lucky person.
Its sad we live in a world where people with "visible differences" are discriminated against and made to feel that they are lesser beings somehow. All we see on tv and in the media is this portrayal of what the "ideal" or perfect person should be - Samantha in the video mentioned Love Island - people like that are what we are constantly being shown as "normal." This is such a narrow view of humanity and is actually extremely damaging to people's self esteem. I wish we could live in a world where people were accepted for their differences and didn't feel this constant pressure to live up to some impossible ideal. I wish we lived in a world where the message was that its ok not to be "perfect," you are still a worthwhile, valuable person and can still live a good life. I admire the positive attitudes of people like Samantha and the man with no arms in the video (forgot his name sorry). I think for many people though we struggle mentally and that's not our fault. Some people I think do naturally have confident, sociable personalities. For others like myself we are more introverted and less confident socially which makes it harder.
Hi Chris if you see this please know that your documentry is incredible thank you… I have a special needs daughter I’m 68 and have untreatable depression I am on messenger would love to talk to you I am from Derry Northern Ireland and live in tempe Arizona 🫶❤️🤗👏👏💕
Great job! Really enjoyed this ! I have been healchair bound since March 22, but I have now and have always had a life full of diseases, guess I’m a collector… people are always surprised I seem to be a happy go lucky woman and I’m always surprised they are not …
You're not wheelchair bound. You're a wheelchair user and, am I. I'm so happy to have a chair that opens the world to me. Monday I go to my driving assessment to get adaptive controls in my car! 4 years of no driving due to my health, and here I am. So nervous and also eager, all at once! Have to learn how to get my chair into the vehicle on my own. So much to learn and adaptation is an amazing things. Finding a way to live well with your disability comes after radical acceptance that this is life and why not make it the best life that I personally can have? Deleted social media 8 years ago because I cannot compare myself to others with my diagnoses and differences.
Hi Chris! Another Lynch here! I too am disabled but not yet in a wheelchair. Those hospital pulleys bring back a few memories! Had hip problems aged 12 in 1970. That sticky plaster was a nightmare coming off! And the itching! Right hip slipped out of socket. It was pinned and screwed. But nothing at all wrong with left hip. Until some junior house registrar was let loose on me when I was 14! They hadnt heard of 'if it ain't broke dont mend it! Well they totally destroyed the cartilage in my hip resulting in osteoarthritis and severely restricted movement. Later, I needed a total hip replacement at age 35 but it didnt really improve matters. But I've still got it in! Yay! Obviously I had no legal redress because back then people doffed their caps at the professions and thought they knew what they were doing. Many teenage years spent in hospital and not with friends! And lots of life's crap in between including a nasty road accudent which further disabled me! But I'm still here! And upright (i think through fear more than anything). Well I'm 66 this year and will keep going for as long as I can, making my crafts. I remember hearing about the man who painted with his left foot and saw the film many years ago. More recently, I saw pictures painted by people who used their mouths! It is extraordinary what people can do with limitations upon the body. Kind regards and Blessings to all from Boadicea! 🙋🙏🏴🇮🇪🙏👌
A guy I rented a trailer from became quadraphiligic at 18 in ski ing accident. He has a degree he earned while disabled. The process of acceptance must be respected.
I have had invisable disabilities all my life and people knew I was different this lead to bullying through out my education. I am now in my mid 20s and have developed a cronic illness that makes me that fatigued and in pain the only way I can leave the house is with my powered weelchir. People are so odd about my disabilities and ask questions that you would not ask a able bodied person. I have allways tries to do the best in my life to prove others wrong and the things I have though about my self due to being told them so may times. Most of the time I am happy. However the thing I find the hardest is living in a house that not suitable for my cronic illness and the lack of weelchair acessable homes. I would be even happier and be able to live my life to the fullest if society was more acessable if homes and public buildings were built with people with disabilities in mind.
Keep it up ❤ It’s hard to accept, but this is the life you have been given. At first I was sad, later in life I’ve got angry, and then accepting. That opened up a whole new world 🎉 this is my life, do the best of it ❤ Love my life, but there’s ups and downs as for all people.
the 'hedonic adaptation' theory suggests our happiness levels return to a baseline despite major life events. for instance, long term happiness of a lottery winner and an accident victim may be similar. initial joy or despair from such events can cause happiness fluctuations, but people typically adapt to their new circumstances, returning to previous contentment levels. this underscores human resilience and the importance of finding happiness in daily experiences.
I have ankylosing spondylitos, as a 33 year old female . Still looking for "the" right medication treatment, specially for controling the pain. And yes I am a HLA B 27 positive female.
Dear Sir, I would like to request you to make a film on intellectual disability as well. I also congratulate you for your success in making this film. This film lives up to its Title and truly shows how much of a paradox physical disability is both for the sufferer as well as the society. No one can truly claim to have solved this paradox, not even God.
Thank you so much for making this documentary. You've really made me think about happiness, what we assume isn't always the case, and makes me think about what truly makes me happy. I'd be interested if you were to follow this up with another documentary looking at hidden disabilities, mental health and happiness. Are people with hidden disabilities happier? Or do they find it hard trying to pretend to be 'normal' because they're expected to be. Do they feel more pressure? I was thinking of disabilities and neurodiversity, like Autism, ADHD, MS, Dyslexia, mental health issues like anxiety and depression. These are often unseen, but have a massive effect on us. Thank you again for such a thought provoking documentary.
I use a power wheelchair when I need to get around very far, as I have Classical-like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and Ankylosing spondylitis, it has made a mess of my spine and caused permanent nerve damage...I was not always in a wheelchair, I used to be very able bodied and it is real intense grief I feel about that loss, BUT...I am still happy in my life, I have friends, family, I work a job, my brain works just fine and there are so many things in the world that are beautiful and worth experiencing still, even with the chronic pain and sickness that I am constantly having to deal with. Life is worth living...half the able bodied people I see are less happy than me and really...if they "lived like me" they might be happier.
I find those support groups kind of strange too. I’m disabled and in my 30s and some friends of mine (some of them are disabled as well) try to invite me in a support group. I was there once and I found it sooo annoying! I mean, why would I need to go there when I could have a perfectly fine evening with my friends NOT talking about our disability all the time? I want to hang out with people I can talk to about thinks that all of us like. I feel like such groups only talk about how miserable every single person of the group feels all the time. How could you possibly feel better after that?
Not sure that your slight attack is fair. Far from being self-pitying, are not members within such groups often willing to admit that they ARE disabled? And might not many such members be willing to be active and consider ways to rise public awareness?
I feel the same way. I was invited to a support group by one of my friends as well and I have the same experience as you. But on the other hand, I get why some people still need groups like that. Mostly because they struggle with excepting their situation and need a place to rant, and support groups are the best place for that. But as for me who is quite fine with my situation, I just don’t need something like that in my life. So I don’t go there and spend my time with things I like.
Hi Chris, thank you for your documentary it's new piece of information for me. Thank you for giving me new perspective about disability. Keep up the good work🙏
I feel that every case of disability is unique. I would like to share one such story. V K Bansal sir was a mathematics teacher in Kota, India who taught students aspiring to clear the toughest entrance exam in India. He suffered from motor neuron disease. He had one side of the body fully paralyzed. Only one of his hands worked. He was a great teacher, witty and funny and had built an empire all by himself by sheer hardwork and will power. One time, a lady came to interview him and said in front of others that it is so inspirational that this man doesn't pity himself and his condition. On that day, we realized for the first time in our lives that we actually never saw him as a weak person. We saw him as a very strong person because of his mind and hardwork and positive attitude. 😅😅😅. He was the proof of the old saying that society will see you the way you see yourself.
Great Documentary Chris, you've done well it serms. You seem to have a lot of hobbies and interests that you enjoy, that should give you happiness. Also your informing us and we are enjoying your films, your making a difference in the world, that should give you joy. Thank you, keep up the good work and what an awesome looking yellow wheelchair, it looks really cool. Good luck with all your endeavors. Love❤ from Florida.
Thank you so much for making this documentary. As a middle aged disabled person with cerebral palsy, I thought no one else would understand what I was going through. I was dealing with internalized ableism and was really beating myself up bad, and my mental health was declining. In recent months, I've made a conscience decision to turn things around and have been busting my butt to be more optimistic. There is a comforting feeling in knowing that I'm not alone and what I'm feeling is shared by others like myself.
Ah cheers Chris and really appreciate the comment.. I think it can take most of us in life to go to certain places before we can see a way through.. It’s all one big journey of discovery! ✌️
I have OI too and I know how Christopher feels with not fitting into groups of people with disabilities when I was younger, but I have more friends with disabilities as an adult
Happiness is a measured balance between leisure and purpose. Being disabled and retired the hardest balance to keep is purpose. If you lose even a portion of that I believe that is when things go grey and I start to feel why should we drive to the beach today? That is when the Disability paradox faulters. I have learned to live with my disability; I accept it and am happily married. Craft gives me a purpose when my pain is not too much. I do believe I am happier than most 'more mobile' people believe me to be. But we are human not happiness vending machines. One observation though it was slightly unrealistic that everyone seemed to have a job!
We all have deficits of some kind. It’s impossible to demand equity among people. It would be nice if that were possible but it’s not. That does not determine the value of each person. Each of these wonderful people have maximized the abilities they have and I really admire them for that.
I enjoyed your documentary, well done! You brought me into deeper philosophical (but really concrete!) thinking. I have birth malformations at my legs due to AMC (arthrogryposis multiplex congenita), but was fortunate to be able to live an active life, have a spouse and raise children. You brought me to realize that the pursuit of happiness is universal : even "normal" people experience that same pursuit of happiness and live with struggles. The difference is that we don't obviously see the "normal people's" struggles, whereas ours are apparent, obvious, unavoidable. But then, why do we, persons with disabilities, have to constantly compare ourselves to the "norm"? What is "being normal"? To me, this comparison seems to be a lot of sweat spent for nothing, when it is much more fulfilling to focus on the freedom of being who we are, on developing our inner strengths. With time, I've come to understand that what makes me more desirable is what I do to compensate for my disabilities : being able to laugh at myself, focusing on the things I"m good at, communicating efficiently, engaging in fulfilling activities, observing the positive impacts I can have on others around me, that kind of thing. There will always be someone to drag you negatively, out of jealousy, of lack of loving oneself. And this isn't unique to people with disabilities, it's part of human nature. Why should we let others define when we should be happy, and when not? No one can blame you from biting into your life, no matter what other people think. And perhaps people will admire you for doing it, why not ;) Difference is beautiful, unavoidable, essential!
I think you are all awesome. I have a not great spine, but I don't have the same challenges you all face. I still am on the antidepressants. Thanks for being so candid.
Great documentary Chris, I really enjoyed watching this. I was recommended to watch it by Isaac Harvey as I enjoy documentaries. I’m disabled and a wheelchair user and have many of the same thoughts as you. Struggling too with my mental health - but keep going. Really resonate with the comment about not able to reach for the tv remote and turning off phone calls.
It's not difficult: happiness occurs when someone's needs are met. The data, as reviewed in the key book, 'The Spirit Level', completely nails it: needs are met when Income Inequality is minimised, socially. Hence the plan and process that I have tabled. .
This is super honest. I have OI. I need support for 100% of my care. I’ve never been unhappy or depressed. The differences between people is always so amazing. Because on paper I should be feeling all the things you described in this doc and yet I don’t and never have. I am 40 years old and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. But I grew up accepting and loving my disabled body. I never wished to be ablebodied. I think that’s a sick mindset to have because it puts of a barrier up between you and your ability to love yourself. My upbringing was also different in that my Mom doesn’t believe in modifying the bodies of babies/children who can not make the decision for themselves. So I’m a unicorn in our OI community. I’ve never had a single surgery. I still have my appendix and tonsils.😂 She just never saw the point of rodding when I was never going to walk anyway. I just wore leg braces day and half the night for a decade. I tell people I have straight legs even though I’m bow legged af. But my legs are not twisted like a pretzel like some of us. She also raised me to have so much self-confidence that it borders on arrogance today. No one has ever been able to say anything negative about my disability and have me believe it. It’s impossible. I don’t want children because TBH I don’t like them. Also, I would never pass on OI to anyone. I don’t hate OI. I’m happy to be here, but I won’t lie and say my life isn’t harder because of OI. I believe being a good parent means being a good parent to children who don’t even exist yet. I’m not going to knowing give them this. You’re correct about this being an unpopular opinion in our community. I hope you find peace, love, acceptance, and happiness within yourself. 🩷 from Kansas, USA!
The disgust shown towards disability is shocking to me sometimes but to me it just means we need to put it even further into the public eye to show that it's not bad it's not strange it's life it is a normal everyday life just like anyone else. If it's shown enough it will become the norm to people and they will not give disability a second glance.
I know very strong able bodied people that are also very smart and well off financially. Not rolling in money rich. But well off. And some of them are the most miserable, depressed, self pitying people I've ever known. I find that often when people look at me and look at my life, they focus entirely on everything I can't do. I focus on the things I can do. I became disabled in my forties from a stroke. I think I came out pretty good considering how debilitating a stroke can be. Each stroke is different, and survivors range from full recovery to bedridden for life and everything in between. I've actually done well. I live independently. Walk with a cane. Have residual effects on my vision and balance among other things. It affects my life every day. But I walk with a cane, drive with limitations and live independently. What more could I ask for. I'll admit, I do miss the things I used to take for granted. I can only drive very locally, in daylight and decent weather. So can't go to all the fun places I used to go. And would not be able to enjoy those places like I did before anyway because I don't last through the day and can't be as active as I used to be. But I still think I've done well. Most importantly, I have God. I think I'm happier than a lot of people that are "better off" physically and financially.
So many of us are getting secondary health conditions (like strokes & heart attacks) or taking our lives because our pain isn’t being adequately treated anymore. As if fighting our illnesses isn’t enough we have to fight to stay alive only sleeping every 3rd day & eating every 5th day. I got adequate pain relief recently on hospice but only for 3 months & was able to eat & sleep every day- they dropped me. I know - mark my words I am gonna die very soon. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Dear Sir, I would also urge you to look into the whole history of disability. There used to be a time when disabled babies were routinely left to die. Aristotle is known to have said that disabled people must be kept away from the society and public view. On the other hand, many ancient cultures are known to have disabled Gods and Goddesses. eg. Hindu culture and Egyptian culture. It would be interesting to know more about how people's attitudes changed to the current state. Today, in most civilized countries, the disabled have rights and although it is not easy to survive and thrive, the social environment is such that a disabled person can do so with adequate support.
Never heard of this paradox . Having had an able stage then this wheelchair life in constant off scale pain . Forgive me for contradicting but I am so unhappy now I'm terrified that my life is lost without treatment that they hold out of my reach .
If someone said "If I was disabled I'd kill myself" I would either think or have guts to tell that person "Go ahead! Me, I'm more than happy with my Life. It challenges not only me but others as well. I have my ups and downs but the universe sends me more ups, a lot more ups than downs! I'm 68.
Thank you Chris, appreciated the photographs … editing was supreme! If you make it down under, maybe we could do the Omeo trail thing together?!? Cheers Brad
This is the only documentary film that I enjoyed the most. Two reasons for this. One obviously was the quality of the film, its content, and secondly Chris is like me in terms of the disease. We both have the same I think. I even think our type are the same in oI. I feel we both have type-4. Any way I would love to connect with chris some day.
Chris, plz don't give up on love, you have a beautiful heart and your a good looking guy, I would totally date you if I lived there. You will find someone to love if thats what you want. ❤
Not to put down these people's struggles, but given what they said, sometimes mental/emotional and chronic pain conditions might be harder to bear. These are ironically invisible, but strike at the heart (or identity) of who a person is and really sap one's strength. Dealing with constant depression, the struggle to maintain emotional regulation and find ways to deal with volume-turned-up sensations with autism, and/or the emptiness and confusion that come with issues like alexithymia are NOT easy...maybe because the problems come from within and undercut confidence, sense of identity, memory, executive functioning, and emotional strength.
***It's such a Shame about us being sexually sidelined/ignored/forgotten/not cared about here!!... :( This is What happens to Severely Mentally Disabled people/OAP's here in Hull,UK!!... :( *'m a Army Veteran,born in 1954 & has a existance,Worse than HELL,with CFS/ME/FMA,Since 1987!!... :(
Thanks for the great film and inviting us (UA-cam viewers) into the days of your life. And a big thank you 🙏 to all those that you interviewed for making this documentary possible. 💕
Happiness is not going to be found on this planet for long, even for those who find it. True, long lasting happiness will be found in Jesus, in our forever home, heaven.
As someone who works as a leader in the disability support community it is amazing to see a program empowering individuals who have taken ownership of their life through self responsibility. Instead of blaming society through only viewing the social model these individuals live by an integrated model of disability, a balance of self acceptance and self overcoming.
I think he focuses on the things he cant have and that is the issue for me as a disabled person. I will admit I have depression episodes but this goes too far. Its body dysmorphia regardless if its caused by the disability. Needs better coping skills. Im not pushing toxic positivity but anyone would be depressed focusing on the negativity all the time. Also if you cant love yourself you shouldn't look for someone to do it for you. I have been where he is as I have to rely on wheelchair more and more but seeing what my life is like without aides gave me great perspective. Seeing the wheelchair as my independence rather then my prison. I think too maybe a better support system would be useful but you have to accept asking for help to build a support system.
Someone mentioned or asked if just because we’re miserable with our disabilities should they be miserable too. Of course. If you have the kinds of things that go into making happiness such as family or friends and or a job which most of the happier people among the disability groups had jobs and and or families. If you’re happy with what you’ve got, that’s great. I was just pointing out the disparity between say a transgender person saying they’re uncomfortable with their body, versus, a multiple disabled person saying the same thing. We’re both uncomfortable with our bodies. Because my body cannot see and cannot walk or use its hands very well, I cannot go out independently or try to build a family that I lost. It’s no secret that if you lose your health, it doesn’t matter how old you are you feel like you’re 100 years old. I’m happy the fact that most of my friends are mostly disabled and so we understand each other. We can lift each other up as a community of faith. I’m not saying we should be miserable all the time. I’m just saying about my disability, I’m just for it. I am blind dysphoric and wheelchair dysphoric. There’s nothing science can do to fix that and I understand that. My horizons have certainly shrunk because of my disabilities and because of my lack of support and lack of money. If I were healthy and in my 30s, of course I’d be trying to get a job or things like that. Anyway, I’m just saying That there’s a disparity and people with disabilities it seems like we’re supposed to accept our situation no matter what and be positive about it while a trans person can say that they’re in the wrong body and their traumatize by transphobia. If I said I was traumatized by evil ism, people would tell me to keep my chin up.
This brings me to something I have researched lived and longed for the creation of an open ongoing dialogue, one that focuses on “mental illness” and the very different PARADOX that exist in its outcomes relative to Psychiatry’s stated intentions/purpose and functions ……. In the beginning of this documentary, the gentleman states , ‘how we perceive and imagine/ see ourselves ……” the very nature of the bio psychiatric model results in a state in which an individual is void of any potentially healthy self perception. Psychiatry, its impact on individuals, results in a devastating, self annihilating state if being . The individual becomes suspended in a state of non-being …… a fall into non being ….. a Noumena so to speak. Versus a phenomenon or phenomena. Meaning the potential any potential, however small, of a healthy and “basic human right…” that being the pursuit of not just happiness , but the pursuit and allowance of forging one’s own path , building upon one’s own identity and ‘becoming their own self….” The goal being to become their best self, discovering and accepting who and what they are , just as they are. That crucial , necessary processs of human existence and individualism is a key necessity in living and life as we define it . I have read , researched , written since 2009 I am now 40. The ramifications of my experiences relating to psychiatry - have no limit in their reach …. Relationships , financial stability , and so much more …… from the simplest things to the ks or complex aspects of human existence . SSDI - or permanent disability ……. Is and can not not be a very blunt and harsh statement of the State, the country , the governments value … placed upon you. The value placed upon me based upon my allotment of EBT SNAP benefits : and monthly SSDI check , is such that may value is in line with and unless I supplement my SSDI income and Ebt monies , I would literally wither away into nothing - dying from malnutrition and starvation. It represents a statement that the government and world does not believe or feel I should ever own land, or a home or acquire any actual assets…… Marriage…. Seems impossible …. Which saddens me …. As I am have always been a person that values and puts so much love and energy into every relationship i have , form, and maintain…. Perhaps it is because I know and believe I was wrongfully diagnosed and experimented on - with zero cause…. Zero logic. With ZERO psych history and absolute and perfectly logical context as to what led me to voluntarily go to the emergency room - There is something beautiful that can not be taken from me - what lies beneath and what is implied by my sheer naivety in my first voluntary hospitalization. I truly believed I was , as a thinking, loving, emphatic human being ….. that if I were to explain what was happening in my mind - as it was happening- surely these “experts” would take this information as an opportunity to best help me redirect to my inner self I have for as long as I can remember - longed and dreamed of having children . It is soemthing that I just know i would be absolutely wonderful at - I am grat with kids all ages Everything falls under the purview or whateve the word is… of the brain/mind/consciousness Without a brain - one does not have an arm , or body or anything. To be continued next comment …..
Happiness is fleeting and depends on what’s ’happening’. True joy can only be found in the Lord Jesus. It’s not a joy that the world can give you, so the world cannot take it away.
I think it's probably different for people that are born with issues versus those who acquire them over time. Like, I think it would be a whole lot easier to be born blind than have been born sighted and lose it. I was born healthy and it's impossible to not compare between the two. To not grieve the things that I've lost as a result. Having said that, I like camping. It's the one place that I can go away from home because being around people, I catch everything. Obviously, hammering in tent pegs is a nightmare but I found some that I can screw into the ground. The manual labor part is now on the impact driver as opposed to my lungs. It would be easy to to just lay down and die but who really wants that? Edited to add: That Brian fella is quite a character. He seems like genuinely good people and I'm sure his family has enjoyed having him a part of their lives. I bet he'd be fun just to hang out with. Edited one more time to add: For people who are disabled and craving intimacy, there's something called "sexual surrogacy" and I'm not super sure what it all entails, I think it just depends on your needs and abilities but that might be worth looking into.
I don't have a disability but I have other difficulties, like many other people. But I have been depressed and sometimes do feel hopeless etc. I think depression or unhappiness have a lot to do with your outlook on life. If you tend to always see the positive side of things, you will likely also see a positive side of being disabled. And the other way around: if you tend to see the negative, a disability will be a disaster for you. I always feel I need to prove something too, which can be depressing in itself. I've been bullied too as a kid, that's just really hard. I think you show two different groups: people with a progressive condition and people with a stable disability. People with a progressive condition will have a lot of bad days when they get another complication, but people who have a stable disability, like the man without arms, can probably live better with it because they are not beaten down every time with progressive complications. I am not disabled yet, but I do have a progressive illness that can cause disability later on. This is hard to deal with. It gives a lot of anxiety.
Happy is being able to afford necessities which actually means your rich and if you can do anything on your own than you are struggling but if you can’t do anything than that is disabled, you are just a person who is perceptive to ingenuity helping your limits not be limiting, if you drink from the river like a cow instead of from your hand than you will be left there like that with your face in the water but if you drink from your hand you will be apart of great armies, I am trying to say that this guy will figure it out before you bend down and grab a handful, how is that disabled?
I don’t think anyone should be bullied into celebrating their disability. If you have any emotional problems, such as depression, or a brain, chemical problem, such as bipolar or whatever, that is going to change how you enjoy anything. But for instance, it seems to me that people who are transgender Are told it’s OK for you to change your body to fit the gender you feel you are. But when it comes to me as a blind woman, who’s been blind since birth and I’m also in a wheelchair and I have borderline personality and I don’t have family connections, people die people move. The person who says I would have boy parts, but I feel like a girl is celebrated for that what they feel like but a disabled person is told no you have to accept and celebrate things that hold you down, keep doors closed, etc.“ Hell, no. I am a blind person who has to love the theater. The theatre is a visual sport as much as anything else. My blindness has never let me in the theater. I mean as a performer. It has closed many doors. I was good enough to be able to catch a small role here and there and I loved it. Acting was something I really loved doing. But now I’m also in a wheelchair and I can no longer use my hands. Thanks to a whole bunch of damn diseases. And I don’t understand why anybody thinks changing the words or the narrative will do anything. It’s not words we need to change it’s attitudes. Like I said, if Timothy wants to become Michelle, that person is celebrated. If I tell you 32:4532:4632:4732:4732:48 look, my temperament, and my blindness, don’t even mix, and I’ve been blind since birth, why am I told to accept and celebrate blindness? As for the diseases that eventually put me in a chair and ruined my hands, all of those things happen to me and my health deteriorated and my family deteriorated. Like I said, now I am 58 and, I have complete blindness from birth, I’m in a wheelchair, and my hands are deformed now, and I have BPD. Why am I expected to celebrate all that, when that’s not how I feel? So I would like to hear more about ability, affirming care. I eat, a cited soul, gets a cited body, not a blind one. A mobile person who is mobile in their thoughts Hands and arms and legs and spinal structures that work. Why tell group i.e. the transgender but it’s OK for you to change your body to fit your mind. Then tell us people with disabilities to accept and celebrate all the things that keep us down and keep us unemployed, or under employed, all the things that close doors as soon as we acquire these disabilities, even if it’s from birth. it seems a little hypocritical at least to me. So if you haven’t found happiness in your disability, I’m totally with you 32:38 on that. 32:15
Just as a side note I have never understood the need for a child to be biologically yours. There are millions of children who need loving homes. I personally do not want children but I know that if that ever changed I would adopt. That's not because I don't want to pass on my disability. That's just because I know that there is someone out there who would love to be part of my home. May even go as far to say I would be happier to adopt a child with a disability because I can relate and help them navigate. where with an able-bodied child I don't think I would have that same connection because I don't have the same perspective and experiences.
Yeh respect due, life can be so unfair. But you've a beautiful home and a loving Mammy. You're not on the street are you or no family like a lot of British Citizens?
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Thank you for a very authentic look at living with disability
I respect you all. You motivate me to have more gratitude for my own issues
I am 65.
I have Cerebral Palsy and Autism.
I graduated with a Bachelor of Science degree in Electronics Engineering Technology.
I worked on and off in industry from 1978 to 2001.
Experienced Ageism and Ableism between 2001 to 2006.
Retired on disability at age 48.
I am a disability civil rights activist.
You're Amazing... I can't imagine how hard it's been for you and how hard you've worked
I liked this. Thank you. I became disabled when I was 33 after stroke. I was fit and healthy. Now I am partially blind and walking is hard and painful. It can happen to anyone. Life is little harder now and poverty is horrible, other than those, I am happy
Was it the haemorrage type or the ischemic (mild) one.Take care and wish you all the best.
I’m fairly new to being “disabled”. Meaning it has not been my entire life. I’ve been disabled for 15 years (I’m 48 now) due to a car wreck (not at fault) and a spinal cord injury.
A couple of points I’d like to address. In regards to children… I had children prior to the injury and one after. I worried “what type of dad will I be. I can’t throw a ball with my son. I can’t teach them to ride bikes, etc”. What I finally came to was the love that was heightened. The slowed down pace that made for many great memories. You realize all those things we think are so important aren’t really what is really important at all. It’s the love, kindness that you teach and pass on that is. My injury I believe truly made me a better son, father, husband. I wouldn’t change anything even if I could.
Now mine is not genetic but for me the only fear (regarding kids) I would have is passing on physical pain of that were possible. Not the aspect of being disabled. I’ve broken bones too many times to count. As a healthy younger man I healed. Spinal injury and nerve damage pain is something that is unexplainable and the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s 24/7 all the time.
My body looks much different now. I was once very athletic and muscular. I qualified for the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta in Taekwondo. While it was honestly great to be able to do those things and look as I did the gains mentally and who it made me on the inside are leaps and bounds greater.
The only true disability I see isn’t in the body but rather the mind. And that applies to all mankind.
LOVED the documentary. What I would love to see improved is improvement in insurance and coverage. Most medical is covered. But next to nothing “quality of life” is. And to me that’s equally as important. Meaning accessibility to better chairs, like off road, hiking, household customs, etc etc. The list goes on and on. I would love to one day have the ability to go off-road. Where one tiny pebble or crack in pavement does not ruin your day
There are things I need to work on. Things like not feeling like I’m holding my family back from let’s say something like a hike and things along those lines. I also need to work on not saying “I’m sorry” or “excuse me” meaning while out and about let’s say shopping for example. And just feeling like I’m in the way. I’m not. I’m no more in the way than anyone is. That’s a work in progress still.
Not sure where you are located, but here in Tennessee there is a state park that has "off road" wheel chairs ( they have tracks instead of tires) that are free to use for anyone who needs them. They say it's best to call ahead and Reserve one ( other wise it's first come first serve). I wish more places had this incredible resource available.
The man featured was very honest about his situation that included depression, sadness and hopelessness. All the others were what we usually see in these documentaries, seemingly upbeat about their disabilities and living a very positive existence. This is, l suspect, an unrealistic portrayal and therefore l appreciated the man's struggle which felt authentic.
So for you, if a person accepts their disability and states it doesn't affect happiness they are lying? I have a physical disability and i have struggled with depression, but I can tell you for the fact that having disability is NOT the reason I struggled with depression. it's has and always be external factors or things I wanted to achieve but didn't. Is me not achieving by product of my disability? it can be, since people are still very judgmental towards disability, but it's not because I have a disability, but because the society reject people like us.
And you, disregarding all the other POV, other than person who struggles with acceptation of his disability, proves that the society has long way to go.
It's also funny how you disregarded mentions of struggles from people who accepted their disability, because it doesn't align with the idea that you can be happy, struggle and still value of life as it is.
I'm not saying that Chris' experience is not real or authentic or valid, because it is. But declaring that his struggles felt authentic while the rest - unrealistic is ableist af. Lesson for you - When someone tells you their perspective of their own life, don't invalidate or doubt it just because you can't imagine being in their shoes. I'm sure you don't have a disability, because if you did, you would understand how this is a very nuanced thing.
And Chris if you see this, this is a very well done documentary. Thank you for making it & i wish you a lot of success.
@@alisha4902 thank you. Obviously, we all come at things from our own perspective. My opinion was based on the documentary and others very similar. Every human being suffers in their own way and most face difficulties, depression and struggle. Disability is often portrayed as of no or little consequence in a person's life , hence why l appreciated Chris' experience which felt more in depth and most likely realistic. I am not disabled. However, l have cared for relatives with dementia for many years and this too is often portrayed as unrealistic in the media and very rarely approaches the true horror of the disease. It is the documentary l was commenting on not every individual featured. I just felt it was unbalanced and too reliant on a happy, and ultimately unrealistic portrayal of disability.
@@Victoria-wz9ub Most people with disabilities have a good quality of life, actually. It's not unrealistic for most cases.
It depends on the extent of disability, how reliant the person is on others, how much frustration and physical pain they have to cope with.
I am very aware of the fact that the happiness or lack thereof a disabled person experiences in their life depends greatly on their level of independence, their possibilities to carry a fairly normal life, or if they experience pain or not, and very important; if they have an income that allows them to live a comfortable life, but I can only talk about my own experience.
I am disabled (Wheelchair user) and I live independently, on my own. In my daily life I do mostly what I want to do, but most importantly; bar exceptional moments and circumstances, I don’t do what I don’t want to do, also my disability doesn't cause me any pain… All of that pretty much looks like happiness to me. I experience struggles? Sure, but is there a regular adult fortunate enough to be able to live a totally smooth, struggleless life? I for one do know no one who does.
Someone can be disabled and despite her/his life’s struggles (Some of them linked to their condition, there’s no point in denying that) have a normal, happy life; of course, with its ups and dows, like everybody else’s life. As a disabled person myself I know that most able-bodied people will never believe it, due of their lack of knowledge regarding dissability and the many forms and degrees in which it can affect a person. No matter how much info they can get; their prejudices are carved in stone. They'll never change their opinions about the matter, so I just dont care. These are their prejudices and their narrow-minded beliefs, not mine. If they want to think that my life is miserable, it’s up to them, I cannot help it.
On the other hand, there's something that has somehow shocked me in this documentary. The guy who filmed it would've liked to have a partner, but he flatly refuses the idea of having a relationship with a disabled woman (Same as the blonde girl...sorry I dont remember their names)...Hello? Do you really expect able-bodied people to give you a chance that you deny to a potential partner just because she or he is disabled?
I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta too! I am recovering from surgery to replace the hardware in my badly broken femur as I watch this. My OI is fairly mild and I walked normally until I was 38. Then I was in an accident that broke my other hip and femur and I had to use a walker for a long time. I am a professional folksinger and I continued to sing through all of my cascade of injuries that occurred as I got older. Now at 63 I am ( I hope) temporarily in a wheelchair. I am continuing my singing.
I found this documentary very interesting and emotionally touching. I wish I had a wheelchair that allowed me to be on the beach!
By the way, I have had long periods of great happiness in my life. But the deaths of my brother, my husband, and my best friend ( last year) were the worst crisises I have been through. When I break something, I just heal and pull myself up physically and emotionally again. Death is a lot harder to deal with.
"Happiness as a metric to guide policy"- the best conclusion presented. But folks seek personal thrills, immediate gratification. Any goal for common good is rejected by many. Thanks for your honest, valuable work here! We must all build a caring community around us. Great job Chris! 🌞
I know EXACTLY.....I don't have words for this..... Thank you!
Amazing. Most of them tell you that they find happiness within theirselves. They live as a proof of that. If one keeps comparing self with other people (physically better in their eyes) then he/she will not be genuinely happy. True happiness has to be seek and found within oneself. What a priceless and invaluable lesson to watch.
Great film. I wish we heard more disabled voices on these everyday issues. Comforting to hear how other disabled people face the lack of partner or children as just something never going get.
Thank you for making this film I have enjoyed seeing the different view points of the participants as well as the similarities. X
Great flowing natural interviewing and narration
Great work. For me it was very emotional. I am 49, still single & childless. Not what I had visioned my life would be like. I was born with hypermobile EDS. Mine isn't as bad as some, but I wasn't diagnosed until my late teens. I have a number of chronic conditions, some of which include Chronic Pain Syndrome, Chronic Medication Resistant Depression which I've had from the age of 8, Chronic Fatigue, Fluctuating Hearing Loss & a learning disability called Irlen Syndrome. I have had mobility problems on & off growing up, but I became paraplegic & wheelchair bound when I was 30 years old. All through school I was bullied, & had the odd friend here & there. The friends I did have didn't go to the same school as me. I didn't like school, I felt so alone. I was brought up in a Christian family. By the time I was 16 I had tried to take my life twice. Now I look back on it it was just a scream for help. Deep down inside I didn't want to die. My faith literally kept me alive. I don't live in the UK I live in Melbourne, Australia. I used to do alot of volunteer work growing up & loved looking after children especially babies. I have been a qualified Nanny since the age of 16. Young children accept you for what you are, not what others think you should be. My great niece already likes to push me around when we're at the shopping centre & likes to sit on my lap. I also wanted to be a nurse, but because of being in a wheelchair they say that I won't be able to forfil every part of the course. It should be about what you can do not what you can't do. I do have a Bachelors Degree in Disability Studies. I would like to learn to sit ski & travel overseas. I like bushwalking, camping, the beach, swimming & bikeriding. I also like cooking, gardening & going to a movie. I like to dine out sometimes or go for a coffee. And thinking about starting to do volunteer work again.
I don't have anyone in a similar age group in my life that likes doing the same things. The friends I have I hardly get to see. I never get to go to their houses as there not wheelchair accessible. When we do meet we meet for coffee & a chat & that's it for maybe another 6 months. I'm in a dark hole that I can't seem to get out of. I've just given up, I'm uninspired & I'm sad & lonely. I'd love to have a partner & get married. I'd love to have children. I take relationships very seriously & think there about working together as equals; compromise; talking, listening & accepting how each other is feeling. The way I hear some women talk to their male partners is just disgusting. Their your partner/husband, not a child in your care. They should be treated & talked too like adults, not treated & talked too like you would talk to & treat a child. Both adults are equal, No One is the boss. Talk to each other with respect & treat each other with dignity. I've always thought like this about relationships. That's why I don't understand why I've never had a partner. Lately I've thought - Is it about the wheelchair & having a disability. People judge you on your appearance & ability before they even get to know you & what your capable of.
I would love one of those self-propelled electric wheelchairs. But I can't afford one of those. I can't even afford to get a car for myself. My Mum drives me to my appointments etc. I'd love to just go & do what I want when I want, not wait around for someone else to take you.
Ending up single and childless with no interests in common with those around you is a much more universal issue than most folk care to admit. I have this outcome but it was caused by child abuse so there’s no visible disability to hold up as the reason - so that’s extra awkward in a way. Just being fundamentally damaged and unacceptable in society as a person.
Big hugs , ,you have so much to cope with ,xxxxxxxxxxxx
I am 62 never married and no children. This is by choice.
❤
I thank you for your honesty. I can emphasize a little as I'm am a recent amputee. I lost a lower leg. I have a few good friends and am grateful for them but now they do treat me slightly differently, whether they are aware of it or not. I feel like a nuisance or a burden and am trying to come to terms with all the things I can no longer do.
Even simple things.
You have, by your comments, given me perspective of my situation. I thank you for that and wish you well.
It really resonates and frustrates me too when people say they would rather die than live using a wheelchair. My father was actually one of those people. I do not need to always use mine now so I don’t hear or receive this type of treatment as much now. But it is a common theme in the rhetoric I see people utilize.
My life is pretty good! It is peoples ableism and disableism that really challenges me emotionally and mentally. Not to say that I don’t experience certain challenges or difficulties due to disability, it’s just that I am able to adapt in most situations to do the same things other people do in life.
I feel for you and Jake about the difficulty of navigating issues of our own mortality. I do not have the same type of connective tissue disorder but, I experienced something similar to basilar invagination. However, because my bones are not fragile I was candidate for occipito-cervical fusion. I also found the use of cervical collar helped me a lot, but it also brought a lot of unwanted attention.
My dad was taken off life support because he had no brain stem function. Learning that internal decapitation and brain stem compression was a possible outcome and diagnosis hit me really hard. It was scary knowing the next time I fall or pass out may be my last moments in life. I still have myelopathy and/or cervical medullary syndrome but that doesn’t keep me from living an independent and fulfilling life! Unlike my father I feel like my life is valuable regardless of what physical, and environmental barriers life throws at me.
What an amazing film. I hope you keep making these wonderful films and changing the world one film at a time and I bet you find beautiful love and happiness. ❤
Congratulations Chris! Well done. I'm so proud of you!
Really inspiring work, Chris. Thank you for co-producing and presenting.
Cheers Kate 🙏
Christopher the man featured is a really good looking guy he is fit, and the bonus of him being comfortable with able bodied people is a great character trait, whomever if he ever chooses to find a steady partner will be a very lucky person.
Its sad we live in a world where people with "visible differences" are discriminated against and made to feel that they are lesser beings somehow. All we see on tv and in the media is this portrayal of what the "ideal" or perfect person should be - Samantha in the video mentioned Love Island - people like that are what we are constantly being shown as "normal." This is such a narrow view of humanity and is actually extremely damaging to people's self esteem. I wish we could live in a world where people were accepted for their differences and didn't feel this constant pressure to live up to some impossible ideal. I wish we lived in a world where the message was that its ok not to be "perfect," you are still a worthwhile, valuable person and can still live a good life.
I admire the positive attitudes of people like Samantha and the man with no arms in the video (forgot his name sorry). I think for many people though we struggle mentally and that's not our fault. Some people I think do naturally have confident, sociable personalities. For others like myself we are more introverted and less confident socially which makes it harder.
Hell is other people. It might be better to live on a island with a bunch of AI robots.
Hi Chris if you see this please know that your documentry is incredible thank you… I have a special needs daughter I’m 68 and have untreatable depression I am on messenger would love to talk to you I am from Derry Northern Ireland and live in tempe Arizona 🫶❤️🤗👏👏💕
Great job! Really enjoyed this ! I have been healchair bound since March 22, but I have now and have always had a life full of diseases, guess I’m a collector… people are always surprised I seem to be a happy go lucky woman and I’m always surprised they are not …
Thanks so much Sylvia.. I really appreciate that 🙏
❤
You're not wheelchair bound. You're a wheelchair user and, am I. I'm so happy to have a chair that opens the world to me. Monday I go to my driving assessment to get adaptive controls in my car! 4 years of no driving due to my health, and here I am. So nervous and also eager, all at once! Have to learn how to get my chair into the vehicle on my own. So much to learn and adaptation is an amazing things. Finding a way to live well with your disability comes after radical acceptance that this is life and why not make it the best life that I personally can have? Deleted social media 8 years ago because I cannot compare myself to others with my diagnoses and differences.
Hi Chris! Another Lynch here! I too am disabled but not yet in a wheelchair. Those hospital pulleys bring back a few memories! Had hip problems aged 12 in 1970. That sticky plaster was a nightmare coming off! And the itching! Right hip slipped out of socket. It was pinned and screwed. But nothing at all wrong with left hip. Until some junior house registrar was let loose on me when I was 14! They hadnt heard of 'if it ain't broke dont mend it! Well they totally destroyed the cartilage in my hip resulting in osteoarthritis and severely restricted movement. Later, I needed a total hip replacement at age 35 but it didnt really improve matters. But I've still got it in! Yay! Obviously I had no legal redress because back then people doffed their caps at the professions and thought they knew what they were doing. Many teenage years spent in hospital and not with friends! And lots of life's crap in between including a nasty road accudent which further disabled me! But I'm still here! And upright (i think through fear more than anything). Well I'm 66 this year and will keep going for as long as I can, making my crafts. I remember hearing about the man who painted with his left foot and saw the film many years ago. More recently, I saw pictures painted by people who used their mouths! It is extraordinary what people can do with limitations upon the body. Kind regards and Blessings to all from Boadicea! 🙋🙏🏴🇮🇪🙏👌
A guy I rented a trailer from became quadraphiligic at 18 in ski ing accident. He has a degree he earned while disabled. The process of acceptance must be respected.
I have had invisable disabilities all my life and people knew I was different this lead to bullying through out my education. I am now in my mid 20s and have developed a cronic illness that makes me that fatigued and in pain the only way I can leave the house is with my powered weelchir. People are so odd about my disabilities and ask questions that you would not ask a able bodied person. I have allways tries to do the best in my life to prove others wrong and the things I have though about my self due to being told them so may times. Most of the time I am happy. However the thing I find the hardest is living in a house that not suitable for my cronic illness and the lack of weelchair acessable homes. I would be even happier and be able to live my life to the fullest if society was more acessable if homes and public buildings were built with people with disabilities in mind.
Keep it up ❤
It’s hard to accept, but this is the life you have been given.
At first I was sad, later in life I’ve got angry, and then accepting.
That opened up a whole new world 🎉 this is my life, do the best of it ❤
Love my life, but there’s ups and downs as for all people.
the 'hedonic adaptation' theory suggests our happiness levels return to a baseline despite major life events. for instance, long term happiness of a lottery winner and an accident victim may be similar. initial joy or despair from such events can cause happiness fluctuations, but people typically adapt to their new circumstances, returning to previous contentment levels. this underscores human resilience and the importance of finding happiness in daily experiences.
Brian’s story made me feel teary, I cannot imagine going through that at such a young age.
A quality documentary. Thank you.
I have ankylosing spondylitos, as a 33 year old female . Still looking for "the" right medication treatment, specially for controling the pain. And yes I am a HLA B 27 positive female.
Powerful and inspiring, well done Chris and thank you for sharing your world 💙👍
Thanks so much Peter.. much appreciated 🙏
Dear Sir, I would like to request you to make a film on intellectual disability as well. I also congratulate you for your success in making this film. This film lives up to its Title and truly shows how much of a paradox physical disability is both for the sufferer as well as the society. No one can truly claim to have solved this paradox, not even God.
Thank you so much for making this documentary. You've really made me think about happiness, what we assume isn't always the case, and makes me think about what truly makes me happy.
I'd be interested if you were to follow this up with another documentary looking at hidden disabilities, mental health and happiness. Are people with hidden disabilities happier? Or do they find it hard trying to pretend to be 'normal' because they're expected to be. Do they feel more pressure? I was thinking of disabilities and neurodiversity, like Autism, ADHD, MS, Dyslexia, mental health issues like anxiety and depression. These are often unseen, but have a massive effect on us.
Thank you again for such a thought provoking documentary.
Enjoy your life..Find someone to share your life with family and friends is all the happiness you need 🙏♥️
Thanks for uploading this documentary to UA-cam, Chris! I’ve been wanting to watch it again for ages. Hope things are well.
I use a power wheelchair when I need to get around very far, as I have Classical-like Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and Ankylosing spondylitis, it has made a mess of my spine and caused permanent nerve damage...I was not always in a wheelchair, I used to be very able bodied and it is real intense grief I feel about that loss, BUT...I am still happy in my life, I have friends, family, I work a job, my brain works just fine and there are so many things in the world that are beautiful and worth experiencing still, even with the chronic pain and sickness that I am constantly having to deal with. Life is worth living...half the able bodied people I see are less happy than me and really...if they "lived like me" they might be happier.
I find those support groups kind of strange too. I’m disabled and in my 30s and some friends of mine (some of them are disabled as well) try to invite me in a support group. I was there once and I found it sooo annoying! I mean, why would I need to go there when I could have a perfectly fine evening with my friends NOT talking about our disability all the time? I want to hang out with people I can talk to about thinks that all of us like. I feel like such groups only talk about how miserable every single person of the group feels all the time. How could you possibly feel better after that?
Not sure that your slight attack is fair. Far from being self-pitying, are not members within such groups often willing to admit that they ARE disabled? And might not many such members be willing to be active and consider ways to rise public awareness?
I feel the same way. I was invited to a support group by one of my friends as well and I have the same experience as you. But on the other hand, I get why some people still need groups like that. Mostly because they struggle with excepting their situation and need a place to rant, and support groups are the best place for that. But as for me who is quite fine with my situation, I just don’t need something like that in my life. So I don’t go there and spend my time with things I like.
I've had very similar experiences being disabled. Lots of bouts of depression and hopelessness throughout my life.
What a great Documentary it was honest informative thank you so much.
Thought provoking, well done and good luck
Hi Chris, thank you for your documentary it's new piece of information for me. Thank you for giving me new perspective about disability. Keep up the good work🙏
I feel that every case of disability is unique. I would like to share one such story. V K Bansal sir was a mathematics teacher in Kota, India who taught students aspiring to clear the toughest entrance exam in India. He suffered from motor neuron disease. He had one side of the body fully paralyzed. Only one of his hands worked. He was a great teacher, witty and funny and had built an empire all by himself by sheer hardwork and will power. One time, a lady came to interview him and said in front of others that it is so inspirational that this man doesn't pity himself and his condition. On that day, we realized for the first time in our lives that we actually never saw him as a weak person. We saw him as a very strong person because of his mind and hardwork and positive attitude. 😅😅😅. He was the proof of the old saying that society will see you the way you see yourself.
Great Documentary Chris, you've done well it serms. You seem to have a lot of hobbies and interests that you enjoy, that should give you happiness. Also your informing us and we are enjoying your films, your making a difference in the world, that should give you joy. Thank you, keep up the good work and what an awesome looking yellow wheelchair, it looks really cool. Good luck with all your endeavors. Love❤ from Florida.
Thanks so much Elaine 🙏
Very insightful documentary. Thank you.
☘️🌝🌲
What a excellent documentary!!!! Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for making this documentary. As a middle aged disabled person with cerebral palsy, I thought no one else would understand what I was going through. I was dealing with internalized ableism and was really beating myself up bad, and my mental health was declining. In recent months, I've made a conscience decision to turn things around and have been busting my butt to be more optimistic.
There is a comforting feeling in knowing that I'm not alone and what I'm feeling is shared by others like myself.
Ah cheers Chris and really appreciate the comment.. I think it can take most of us in life to go to certain places before we can see a way through.. It’s all one big journey of discovery! ✌️
I have OI too and I know how Christopher feels with not fitting into groups of people with disabilities when I was younger, but I have more friends with disabilities as an adult
Thank you for sharing your experiences Chris.
Happiness is a measured balance between leisure and purpose. Being disabled and retired the hardest balance to keep is purpose. If you lose even a portion of that I believe that is when things go grey and I start to feel why should we drive to the beach today? That is when the Disability paradox faulters. I have learned to live with my disability; I accept it and am happily married. Craft gives me a purpose when my pain is not too much. I do believe I am happier than most 'more mobile' people believe me to be. But we are human not happiness vending machines. One observation though it was slightly unrealistic that everyone seemed to have a job!
Great video congratulations 🎉you have a nice calming voice 😊
We all have deficits of some kind. It’s impossible to demand equity among people. It would be nice if that were possible but it’s not. That does not determine the value of each person. Each of these wonderful people have maximized the abilities they have and I really admire them for that.
I enjoyed your documentary, well done! You brought me into deeper philosophical (but really concrete!) thinking. I have birth malformations at my legs due to AMC (arthrogryposis multiplex congenita), but was fortunate to be able to live an active life, have a spouse and raise children. You brought me to realize that the pursuit of happiness is universal : even "normal" people experience that same pursuit of happiness and live with struggles. The difference is that we don't obviously see the "normal people's" struggles, whereas ours are apparent, obvious, unavoidable. But then, why do we, persons with disabilities, have to constantly compare ourselves to the "norm"? What is "being normal"? To me, this comparison seems to be a lot of sweat spent for nothing, when it is much more fulfilling to focus on the freedom of being who we are, on developing our inner strengths. With time, I've come to understand that what makes me more desirable is what I do to compensate for my disabilities : being able to laugh at myself, focusing on the things I"m good at, communicating efficiently, engaging in fulfilling activities, observing the positive impacts I can have on others around me, that kind of thing. There will always be someone to drag you negatively, out of jealousy, of lack of loving oneself. And this isn't unique to people with disabilities, it's part of human nature. Why should we let others define when we should be happy, and when not? No one can blame you from biting into your life, no matter what other people think. And perhaps people will admire you for doing it, why not ;) Difference is beautiful, unavoidable, essential!
Wonderful heartfelt film. Thanks for doing the work.
I think you are all awesome. I have a not great spine, but I don't have the same challenges you all face. I still am on the antidepressants. Thanks for being so candid.
Great documentary Chris, I really enjoyed watching this.
I was recommended to watch it by Isaac Harvey as I enjoy documentaries.
I’m disabled and a wheelchair user and have many of the same thoughts as you. Struggling too with my mental health - but keep going.
Really resonate with the comment about not able to reach for the tv remote and turning off phone calls.
Great film. Thank you for sharing!
Son has pacemaker I have shattered ankle, gave me a whole new perspective thanks
It's not difficult: happiness occurs when someone's needs are met.
The data, as reviewed in the key book, 'The Spirit Level', completely nails it: needs are met when Income Inequality is minimised, socially.
Hence the plan and process that I have tabled.
.
This is super honest. I have OI. I need support for 100% of my care. I’ve never been unhappy or depressed. The differences between people is always so amazing. Because on paper I should be feeling all the things you described in this doc and yet I don’t and never have. I am 40 years old and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. But I grew up accepting and loving my disabled body. I never wished to be ablebodied. I think that’s a sick mindset to have because it puts of a barrier up between you and your ability to love yourself. My upbringing was also different in that my Mom doesn’t believe in modifying the bodies of babies/children who can not make the decision for themselves. So I’m a unicorn in our OI community. I’ve never had a single surgery. I still have my appendix and tonsils.😂 She just never saw the point of rodding when I was never going to walk anyway. I just wore leg braces day and half the night for a decade. I tell people I have straight legs even though I’m bow legged af. But my legs are not twisted like a pretzel like some of us. She also raised me to have so much self-confidence that it borders on arrogance today. No one has ever been able to say anything negative about my disability and have me believe it. It’s impossible. I don’t want children because TBH I don’t like them. Also, I would never pass on OI to anyone. I don’t hate OI. I’m happy to be here, but I won’t lie and say my life isn’t harder because of OI. I believe being a good parent means being a good parent to children who don’t even exist yet. I’m not going to knowing give them this. You’re correct about this being an unpopular opinion in our community. I hope you find peace, love, acceptance, and happiness within yourself. 🩷 from Kansas, USA!
The disgust shown towards disability is shocking to me sometimes but to me it just means we need to put it even further into the public eye to show that it's not bad it's not strange it's life it is a normal everyday life just like anyone else. If it's shown enough it will become the norm to people and they will not give disability a second glance.
I know very strong able bodied people that are also very smart and well off financially. Not rolling in money rich. But well off. And some of them are the most miserable, depressed, self pitying people I've ever known.
I find that often when people look at me and look at my life, they focus entirely on everything I can't do. I focus on the things I can do.
I became disabled in my forties from a stroke. I think I came out pretty good considering how debilitating a stroke can be. Each stroke is different, and survivors range from full recovery to bedridden for life and everything in between. I've actually done well. I live independently. Walk with a cane. Have residual effects on my vision and balance among other things. It affects my life every day. But I walk with a cane, drive with limitations and live independently. What more could I ask for.
I'll admit, I do miss the things I used to take for granted. I can only drive very locally, in daylight and decent weather. So can't go to all the fun places I used to go. And would not be able to enjoy those places like I did before anyway because I don't last through the day and can't be as active as I used to be.
But I still think I've done well. Most importantly, I have God. I think I'm happier than a lot of people that are "better off" physically and financially.
Very interesting docmentary.
So many of us are getting secondary health conditions (like strokes & heart attacks) or taking our lives because our pain isn’t being adequately treated anymore. As if fighting our illnesses isn’t enough we have to fight to stay alive only sleeping every 3rd day & eating every 5th day. I got adequate pain relief recently on hospice but only for 3 months & was able to eat & sleep every day- they dropped me. I know - mark my words I am gonna die very soon. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
Excellent documentary
Dear Sir, I would also urge you to look into the whole history of disability. There used to be a time when disabled babies were routinely left to die. Aristotle is known to have said that disabled people must be kept away from the society and public view. On the other hand, many ancient cultures are known to have disabled Gods and Goddesses. eg. Hindu culture and Egyptian culture. It would be interesting to know more about how people's attitudes changed to the current state. Today, in most civilized countries, the disabled have rights and although it is not easy to survive and thrive, the social environment is such that a disabled person can do so with adequate support.
wow so beautiful place , so amazing footage
brilliant work, Chris
Never heard of this paradox . Having had an able stage then this wheelchair life in constant off scale pain . Forgive me for contradicting but I am so unhappy now I'm terrified that my life is lost without treatment that they hold out of my reach .
What , are you reading from my own diary ? Suffering tends to focus on the distressed self at the price of empathy for others.
Smoke weed. At least it would bring some happiness to your life. ❤
I'm 23 I have depression anxiety autism and scoliosis and pes planus raynauds syndrome and ptsd it s hard to have so many
Great job
If someone said "If I was disabled I'd kill myself" I would either think or have guts to tell that person "Go ahead! Me, I'm more than happy with my Life. It challenges not only me but others as well. I have my ups and downs but the universe sends me more ups, a lot more ups than downs! I'm 68.
Thank you Chris, appreciated the photographs … editing was supreme! If you make it down under, maybe we could do the Omeo trail thing together?!? Cheers Brad
This is the only documentary film that I enjoyed the most. Two reasons for this. One obviously was the quality of the film, its content, and secondly Chris is like me in terms of the disease. We both have the same I think. I even think our type are the same in oI. I feel we both have type-4. Any way I would love to connect with chris some day.
Great documentary
Chris, plz don't give up on love, you have a beautiful heart and your a good looking guy, I would totally date you if I lived there. You will find someone to love if thats what you want. ❤
Not to put down these people's struggles, but given what they said, sometimes mental/emotional and chronic pain conditions might be harder to bear. These are ironically invisible, but strike at the heart (or identity) of who a person is and really sap one's strength. Dealing with constant depression, the struggle to maintain emotional regulation and find ways to deal with volume-turned-up sensations with autism, and/or the emptiness and confusion that come with issues like alexithymia are NOT easy...maybe because the problems come from within and undercut confidence, sense of identity, memory, executive functioning, and emotional strength.
***It's such a Shame about us being sexually sidelined/ignored/forgotten/not cared about here!!... :( This is What happens to Severely Mentally Disabled people/OAP's here in Hull,UK!!... :( *'m a Army Veteran,born in 1954 & has a existance,Worse than HELL,with CFS/ME/FMA,Since 1987!!... :(
Thanks for the great film and inviting us (UA-cam viewers) into the days of your life. And a big thank you 🙏 to all those that you interviewed for making this documentary possible. 💕
Happiness is not going to be found on this planet for long, even for those who find it.
True, long lasting happiness will be found in Jesus, in our forever home, heaven.
Samantha was on Eastenders. ❤
As someone who works as a leader in the disability support community it is amazing to see a program empowering individuals who have taken ownership of their life through self responsibility. Instead of blaming society through only viewing the social model these individuals live by an integrated model of disability, a balance of self acceptance and self overcoming.
I think he focuses on the things he cant have and that is the issue for me as a disabled person. I will admit I have depression episodes but this goes too far. Its body dysmorphia regardless if its caused by the disability. Needs better coping skills. Im not pushing toxic positivity but anyone would be depressed focusing on the negativity all the time. Also if you cant love yourself you shouldn't look for someone to do it for you. I have been where he is as I have to rely on wheelchair more and more but seeing what my life is like without aides gave me great perspective. Seeing the wheelchair as my independence rather then my prison. I think too maybe a better support system would be useful but you have to accept asking for help to build a support system.
Someone mentioned or asked if just because we’re miserable with our disabilities should they be miserable too. Of course. If you have the kinds of things that go into making happiness such as family or friends and or a job which most of the happier people among the disability groups had jobs and and or families. If you’re happy with what you’ve got, that’s great. I was just pointing out the disparity between say a transgender person saying they’re uncomfortable with their body, versus, a multiple disabled person saying the same thing. We’re both uncomfortable with our bodies. Because my body cannot see and cannot walk or use its hands very well, I cannot go out independently or try to build a family that I lost. It’s no secret that if you lose your health, it doesn’t matter how old you are you feel like you’re 100 years old. I’m happy the fact that most of my friends are mostly disabled and so we understand each other. We can lift each other up as a community of faith. I’m not saying we should be miserable all the time. I’m just saying about my disability, I’m just for it. I am blind dysphoric and wheelchair dysphoric. There’s nothing science can do to fix that and I understand that. My horizons have certainly shrunk because of my disabilities and because of my lack of support and lack of money. If I were healthy and in my 30s, of course I’d be trying to get a job or things like that. Anyway, I’m just saying That there’s a disparity and people with disabilities it seems like we’re supposed to accept our situation no matter what and be positive about it while a trans person can say that they’re in the wrong body and their traumatize by transphobia. If I said I was traumatized by evil ism, people would tell me to keep my chin up.
This brings me to something I have researched lived and longed for the creation of an open ongoing dialogue, one that focuses on “mental illness” and the very different PARADOX that exist in its outcomes relative to Psychiatry’s stated intentions/purpose and functions ……. In the beginning of this documentary, the gentleman states , ‘how we perceive and imagine/ see ourselves ……” the very nature of the bio psychiatric model results in a state in which an individual is void of any potentially healthy self perception. Psychiatry, its impact on individuals, results in a devastating, self annihilating state if being . The individual becomes suspended in a state of non-being …… a fall into non being ….. a Noumena so to speak. Versus a phenomenon or phenomena. Meaning the potential any potential, however small, of a healthy and “basic human right…” that being the pursuit of not just happiness , but the pursuit and allowance of forging one’s own path , building upon one’s own identity and ‘becoming their own self….” The goal being to become their best self, discovering and accepting who and what they are , just as they are. That crucial , necessary processs of human existence and individualism is a key necessity in living and life as we define it .
I have read , researched , written since 2009 I am now 40.
The ramifications of my experiences relating to psychiatry - have no limit in their reach …. Relationships , financial stability , and so much more …… from the simplest things to the ks or complex aspects of human existence .
SSDI - or permanent disability ……. Is and can not not be a very blunt and harsh statement of the State, the country , the governments value … placed upon you. The value placed upon me based upon my allotment of EBT SNAP benefits : and monthly SSDI check , is such that may value is in line with and unless I supplement my SSDI income and Ebt monies , I would literally wither away into nothing - dying from malnutrition and starvation. It represents a statement that the government and world does not believe or feel I should ever own land, or a home or acquire any actual assets……
Marriage…. Seems impossible …. Which saddens me …. As I am have always been a person that values and puts so much love and energy into every relationship i have , form, and maintain….
Perhaps it is because I know and believe I was wrongfully diagnosed and experimented on - with zero cause…. Zero logic. With ZERO psych history and absolute and perfectly logical context as to what led me to voluntarily go to the emergency room -
There is something beautiful that can not be taken from me - what lies beneath and what is implied by my sheer naivety in my first voluntary hospitalization. I truly believed I was , as a thinking, loving, emphatic human being ….. that if I were to explain what was happening in my mind - as it was happening- surely these “experts” would take this information as an opportunity to best help me redirect to my inner self
I have for as long as I can remember - longed and dreamed of having children . It is soemthing that I just know i would be absolutely wonderful at - I am grat with kids all ages
Everything falls under the purview or whateve the word is… of the brain/mind/consciousness
Without a brain - one does not have an arm , or body or anything.
To be continued next comment …..
Happiness is fleeting and depends on what’s ’happening’. True joy can only be found in the Lord Jesus. It’s not a joy that the world can give you, so the world cannot take it away.
Wait... does this channel belong to the man featured Christopher or someone connected to him?
I think it's probably different for people that are born with issues versus those who acquire them over time. Like, I think it would be a whole lot easier to be born blind than have been born sighted and lose it. I was born healthy and it's impossible to not compare between the two. To not grieve the things that I've lost as a result. Having said that, I like camping. It's the one place that I can go away from home because being around people, I catch everything. Obviously, hammering in tent pegs is a nightmare but I found some that I can screw into the ground. The manual labor part is now on the impact driver as opposed to my lungs. It would be easy to to just lay down and die but who really wants that?
Edited to add: That Brian fella is quite a character. He seems like genuinely good people and I'm sure his family has enjoyed having him a part of their lives. I bet he'd be fun just to hang out with.
Edited one more time to add: For people who are disabled and craving intimacy, there's something called "sexual surrogacy" and I'm not super sure what it all entails, I think it just depends on your needs and abilities but that might be worth looking into.
I don't have a disability but I have other difficulties, like many other people. But I have been depressed and sometimes do feel hopeless etc. I think depression or unhappiness have a lot to do with your outlook on life. If you tend to always see the positive side of things, you will likely also see a positive side of being disabled. And the other way around: if you tend to see the negative, a disability will be a disaster for you.
I always feel I need to prove something too, which can be depressing in itself. I've been bullied too as a kid, that's just really hard.
I think you show two different groups: people with a progressive condition and people with a stable disability. People with a progressive condition will have a lot of bad days when they get another complication, but people who have a stable disability, like the man without arms, can probably live better with it because they are not beaten down every time with progressive complications.
I am not disabled yet, but I do have a progressive illness that can cause disability later on. This is hard to deal with. It gives a lot of anxiety.
Same with me: I feel more "integrated", member of society with "non-disabled people. It is kind of strange or paradoxal?
Happy is being able to afford necessities which actually means your rich and if you can do anything on your own than you are struggling but if you can’t do anything than that is disabled, you are just a person who is perceptive to ingenuity helping your limits not be limiting, if you drink from the river like a cow instead of from your hand than you will be left there like that with your face in the water but if you drink from your hand you will be apart of great armies, I am trying to say that this guy will figure it out before you bend down and grab a handful, how is that disabled?
What is happy anyway? Whos happy? Life is wall to wall shit for everybody one way or another.
that chair is pimp and you're darling thank you for this refreshing and beautiful i have autism so this is special
Is it possible for an 'able bodied' person to be happy? If it is, it's possible for a disabled person to be happy. It's relative.
I don’t think anyone should be bullied into celebrating their disability. If you have any emotional problems, such as depression, or a brain, chemical problem, such as bipolar or whatever, that is going to change how you enjoy anything. But for instance, it seems to me that people who are transgender Are told it’s OK for you to change your body to fit the gender you feel you are. But when it comes to me as a blind woman, who’s been blind since birth and I’m also in a wheelchair and I have borderline personality and I don’t have family connections, people die people move. The person who says I would have boy parts, but I feel like a girl is celebrated for that what they feel like but a disabled person is told no you have to accept and celebrate things that hold you down, keep doors closed, etc.“ Hell, no. I am a blind person who has to love the theater. The theatre is a visual sport as much as anything else. My blindness has never let me in the theater. I mean as a performer. It has closed many doors. I was good enough to be able to catch a small role here and there and I loved it. Acting was something I really loved doing. But now I’m also in a wheelchair and I can no longer use my hands. Thanks to a whole bunch of damn diseases. And I don’t understand why anybody thinks changing the words or the narrative will do anything. It’s not words we need to change it’s attitudes. Like I said, if Timothy wants to become Michelle, that person is celebrated. If I tell you 32:45 32:46 32:47 32:47 32:48 look, my temperament, and my blindness, don’t even mix, and I’ve been blind since birth, why am I told to accept and celebrate blindness? As for the diseases that eventually put me in a chair and ruined my hands, all of those things happen to me and my health deteriorated and my family deteriorated. Like I said, now I am 58 and, I have complete blindness from birth, I’m in a wheelchair, and my hands are deformed now, and I have BPD. Why am I expected to celebrate all that, when that’s not how I feel? So I would like to hear more about ability, affirming care. I eat, a cited soul, gets a cited body, not a blind one. A mobile person who is mobile in their thoughts Hands and arms and legs and spinal structures that work. Why tell group i.e. the transgender but it’s OK for you to change your body to fit your mind. Then tell us people with disabilities to accept and celebrate all the things that keep us down and keep us unemployed, or under employed, all the things that close doors as soon as we acquire these disabilities, even if it’s from birth. it seems a little hypocritical at least to me. So if you haven’t found happiness in your disability, I’m totally with you 32:38 on that. 32:15
Irish people are very upbeat
Chris is a handsome man.
Just as a side note I have never understood the need for a child to be biologically yours. There are millions of children who need loving homes. I personally do not want children but I know that if that ever changed I would adopt. That's not because I don't want to pass on my disability. That's just because I know that there is someone out there who would love to be part of my home. May even go as far to say I would be happier to adopt a child with a disability because I can relate and help them navigate. where with an able-bodied child I don't think I would have that same connection because I don't have the same perspective and experiences.
Yeh respect due, life can be so unfair. But you've a beautiful home and a loving Mammy. You're not on the street are you or no family like a lot of British Citizens?
HI GUYS I AM GAYS AND HAPPY
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I can't watch this video because of the aweful noises added.
The True Source Of HAPPENS IS ONLY FIND IT IS ONLY FOUND IN JESUS CHRIST.. AS LORD AND SAVIOR.. LOOK IN THE BIBLE.. READ JOHN 3:16