Harry Potter & the Really Bad Pick Up Lines

Pretty much self-explanatory with the title. Malfoy and Harry start a new form of competition using some of the greatest (*cough* worst) wizarding pick up lines around. Technically we meant for this to be Drarry but feel free to think the final scene is just Malfoy messing with Harry if you'd prefer.
Disclaimer: We do not own the characters or music used. All rights belong to their respective owners. Also pick up line credit goes to the various internet people who were clever enough to come up with them.

[@AR-ws9ry]

I love how Draco was totally into it the entire time and Harry Potter is like I don't get it

[@angelina7229]

Typical oblivious Harry.

[@madisongreen7975]

*wait until you see the fanfic adaptation*

[@chip-layvin8533]

OH HO HO!

[@dackotafalling7037]

Plz someone make that

[@madznight3935]

I was inspired by your comment. Here is the link to the official fanfic on A03
archiveofourown.org/works/19899595/chapters/47132974

[@River_Obryant]

@@madznight3935 that's was amazing, I might have read it in 5 minutes. woops

[@bluedust700]

@@madznight3935 that was absolutely amazing!

[@bexley8479]

my favourite lines.
"No."
"What the hell malfoy?!"

[@arsenieboca8207]

WolfWerePlays What the hell, Malfoy? Was the funniest

[@chip-layvin8533]

WHAT THE HELL MALFOY!?

[@lonelybox5246]

I. Didn't. Hear. Any. MOANING. Myrtle. Lines.
How dare you.

[@KayleaMSoprano]

and I didn't hear anything about ParcelTONGUES

[@mabelpines3787]

Lonely Box i

[@Radium..226]

Lonely Box myrtle

[@ishipitlikefedex2610]

ikr so dissapointing.

[@lucindatheartist6435]

I just chocked on my popcorn XD

[@jakebake3187]

OMG I WAS SQUEALING THE WHOLE TIME THIS WAS GREAT, IM SAD WE DIDN'T SEE THEM KISS BUT I UNDERSTAND YOU GUYS PROBABLY WEREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH IT BUT IT WAS STILL HILARIOUS

[@Half_Blood_Hufflepuff]

Drarry kissing is everything.

[@annabananacantelope]

@@Half_Blood_Hufflepuff yup

[@Daeneiracorn]

his face be like "you win" O-O

[@wooblywanderlust4333]

THE SEXUAL TENSION INTENSIFIES!!!

[@arcticgachauwu2160]

Why didn't Harry resist?

[@whoneedsanameuwu1920]

@@arcticgachauwu2160bc it is a ship, DRARRY

[@kimgamez5087]

I that a wand in your pants, or are you Just happy to see me? BWAHHAHA IM DYING 😂😂😂

[@autumnlance643]

Obscure reference to Sherlock.

[@verratios]

Bro, I freaked out, im gunna use that to someone

[@lynn9025]

It's like daco gave a dementor kiss XD
lol. Poor harry. It seemed like he died.

[@lisamulling6019]

Ya

[@beercampsbabydoll9709]

I think he actually looked pretty happy😏

[@jaybirdremix1726]

“Wanna ride my broomstick?”
“...no”
Olaf pops out of nowhere
“You hesitated”

[@xxaliviaxxxx2090]

JayBird Remix 😂😂

[@xfeverx747xdreamx]

i can make u scream louder than a mandrake

[@bushdidharambe4219]

I will be using all of them.

[@keithkogayne9135]

True

[@xxt0th34rkxx8]

Me too

[@The_Rizzler_uwu]

same~

[@cardinal9466]

Harry.exe has stopped working.

[@slytherinqueen5068]

Harry is broken

[@imapotato995]

HarryPotter.exe has stoped working

[@Bored.and.slaying]

No harry is brocken

[@lariedale]

-Draco used kiss--Harry fainted!-

[@rockstardevil462]

Ooooh look who just got kiiiissed

[@spiritwolf74]

Draco: How about you Slytherin to my bed tonight
Harry: What if I Griffendornt?

[@cutiepie5052]

I ship it

[@isaac-runsonspite5218]

yoongi lover BTS We all do.

[@sugar_gremlin7234]

*I DONT CARE
I SHIP IT🎵!!*

[@spac3manmcgee786]

how to finish off a really awful pickupline fight; just kiss them!

[@ishipitlikefedex2610]

dayum. welp, it's like they say, there's a fine line between love and hate. (and I think they're on the fence)

[@shizukaaaa]

1:37 I love the actual rage from Harry in this scene 😂

[@tumoral5187]

DRACO MALFOY WHERE ARE YOU COME HERE THIS INSTANT!!!!

[@gachaomegasubizu6441]

Hi.

[@NDU_mell0HIVE]

Sees Draco ask Harry to “Slytherin to his bed tonight” instant sub

[@arsenieboca8207]

Lol "What the Hell, Malfoy?"

[@potatocupcake4386]

Why is Draco wearing blue???? Bloody Hell!

[@jadewinters8190]

I know

[@cas7356]

Its the camera, sometimes certain cameras don't pick up color right 👍

[@MinecrafthomieHD18]

harry lost... 10 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!

[@rorabug7277]

Your buldgers are big ;) 10 points to Ravenclaw XD

[@cookiechan6694]

20 points to Slytherin >:3

[@logiceye9701]

50 points to slytherin

[@user-on6rw9uf2o]

〈〈The Gaming Demon〉〉 and 100000000 points to hufflepuffe for shipping them ;3

[@annabananacantelope]

999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 points to drarry

[@captainsarcasm1567]

I saw this and thought< "Drarry" my mind might be contaminated.

[@gamingwithmaxb519]

When Draco kissed Harry at the end I was fangirling xD

[@tottonoro]

harry.exe has stop responding I know I am late very late

[@mycosplaylife6109]

I loved it but it was hard to hear you in the last "final battle" part

[@edwardkaspbrak5936]

Draco:wanna ride my broomstick?
Harry: no
Me:lol nice try dracie

[@TheIceQueen]

I can't stop laughing, we need a Drarry movie!!! 😂😂

[@peeman_games101]

I know this off topic but did anyone notice draco has a ravenclaw robe

[@pepperthepug4941]

Abby Munie I did

[@ruthslattery7683]

It's slytherin literally look at the crest

[@xxt0th34rkxx8]

It's just the lighting

[@cootesoliver]

Yeahhh

[@ghostman2371]

Abby Munie ye

[@ivystarandmarionette9397]

I require cake. Cake as in videos. Videos as in Death Note videos. Death Note videos as in Death Note Cosplaly videos. And if I don't get it in the next month, my Death Note knowledge will decrees by....10% , I am sure of it. So if it is not a problem, which it is not, it will be there soon. Thank you.
~ Eris ~

[@princecproductions9531]

You should make a Death Note version of this, with murder-like pick up lines, between L and Light. If you want I can find a few!

[@northup1]

Harry Potter and the sexual tension that actually gets relieved (by fall out boy)

[@Elliot_Starlight]

And the winner is!!!-
DRACO!!!
Harry didn’t do so well also Draco made me laugh the most so yee!

[@brigidberry8963]

I love the end where Harry's just like"I'm dead now"look

[@book4hd]

Harry falling down the fall at the end is a mood

[@franktaafee3107]

ONE MILLION POINTS TO FUCKING SLYTHERIN AND GRYFFINDOR FOR ALL THEM MAJESTIC DAMN PICK UP LINES 😂

[@arsenieboca8207]

Draco Malfoy Draco, do you ship Drarry?😂😏😏😏😏😏

[@sparrow_c8823]

* draco kisses harry *
*harry dies *

[@RanchMonarch]

A huge smile never left my face during the whole video

[@LadyMythos315]

Draco: *kisses Harry*
Harry: Harry.exe has stoped working

[@flowerpetal3521]

Draco wins

[@annabananacantelope]

Nuuuuu
Drarry wins

[@doriaahh]

“WTH MALFOY?!?!”
Me as a Drarry Shipper: Beautiful

[@beercampsbabydoll9709]

The begining:When rivals discover a new way to go the one another, school will never be the same....
No one:
Not a soul:
Not even he-who-must-not be-named:
Me: you mean Neville be the same...

[@verratios]

If I was Harry I would say "sure and maybe i can come into your chamber of secrets, meet me at 11pm"

[@jessicawhitehead6137]

so kawii

[@dolanarebae7509]

This was legit👌😂

[@lucindatheartist6435]

*sees title*
I'm ready.. Wait!
*grabs popcorn and notebook*
Nooow I'm readyy

[@soupman5836]

breath. Malfoy and Harry having a pickup line battle though. bReAtH

[@somebody3965]

This is absolutely perfect, I feel like in the books if they ever did get together this would be how

[@MagicMoth3]

harry:"are you the heir of slytheirin bc I wanna check out your chamber of seacrets"
Malfoy:*cheks out butt*
me:YASSSSSSSS

[@mariahbarnes]

i ship them SO much! 😍💙💜

[@11thdoc8]

Mariah Rock same

[@snake1socks]

The best is Harry just falls down after the kiss. He’s *swept off his feet* 😏

[@ThekindQueen]

The fact that took Henry like 30 seconds to answer know when Draco said do you want to ride my broomstick is hilarious😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@stacygordon5784]

The background music is perfect.

[@mr.midlifecrisis622]

I WANNA SEE THE KISS THOUGH!!!

[@riles8226]

“i know you’re a quidditch player, wanna ride my broomstick?”
“no❤️”

[@Mars0_0mallow]

THE ENDING SCENE AKDMFMFMFKVJ

[@jamessavoury6940]

1:11....I loved the way Harry's voice sounded then XD

[@spicyspice1370]

I was listening to the Hamilton soundtrack how did I get here I don't even ship drarry

[@faithmynameisfaith6731]

Nicole Cranham Omg, saaame!!!! Hamilton is my life

[@PoppedRox]

Nicole Cranham. I LOVE HAMILTON TOOO!!!!!!

[@arsenieboca8207]

Nicole Cranham I'm not throw away my shot, I'm not throw away my shot...

[@ruthslattery7683]

Never too late to start though 😉

[@dewbugz]

ANGELICAAAAAAAAA

[@gachalifedevilgodthegodofd9341]

He literally snatched him

[@gothiiess]

*ahem* AM I BLIND OR IS DRACOS UNFIORM JUST MESSING WITH ME AND LOOKING BLUE

[@hogwartshippogriffowo8565]

Me: *sees title* ooooooooooooo if its drarry imma flip cuz ima love it -w-

[@ineshomemcardoso]

In the end Harry ✨died✨

[@that_0ne_bee704]

1:02 Harry's face says it all... he has no idea what happend

[@randomfangirl2652]

I'm screaming from fangirling!

[@dannyvtt]

"Wanna ride my broomstick?"
"....no."

[@aspenparker5855]

IT'S NOT BRITISH ENOUGH

[@angelasaunders1885]

I'm gonna fucking use these pick up lines to fuck with my friends cause ya know single as fuck why not do it to the next best thing my best friend

[@dutifullybluenerd]

Draco just wanted to flirt with Harry. ALSO THIS IS SO LITERALLY EVERY RIVALRY IN ANY SERIES EVER.

[@veronica4882]

“I don’t need accio to make you come” *internal fangirl scream*

[@celerystick8011]

Harry just MELTED🤣😂

[@juniper6592]

“My first kiss went a little like this”
*smooch*-
Ah shit Harry’s dead...

[@macksanchez6215]

I have rewatched this So many times

[@royalguardlilithsecondchan9069]

Malfoy, I think you broke Harry.

[@myfaircosplayproductions5312]

OMG!This was so amazingly good.You guys rock FallingStarsFederation ^_^

[@void2842]

I’m just so. Happy

[@loveyoudear4703]

“What the hell Malfoy!” “My captions: “What the hell now boy!

[@Karla-kp3tr]

Wasn’t malfoy wearing the wrong robe? It looks blue too me

[@saeyoungchoilol851]

Actions do speak louder than words

[@leonierieker4412]

When you know you gonna use these lines at somebody just to annoye(?) them

[@DaniKreator12]

He forgot the “POTTAH” 😂

[@zero_sleep666]

DAMMIT HARRY YOU'VE FAILED ME!!

[@leechanimates1723]

I SAW THIS LAST YEAR AND I KEPT TRYING TO FIND IT BUT I COULD NOT REMEMBER THE NAME TO SAVE MY LIFE AND I KEPT SEARCHING FOR ‘DRARRY FLIRTING’ OR THINGS ALONG THE LINES OF THAT!!! I FINALLY STOP LOOKING AND I FIND IT!!!!!!!!

[@sugawarakoshi1042]

I knew Dat was coming..

[@Black_butler_fan]

At the end i said "plot twist, womp womp" 😂

[@daygober]

I know that I’m late but DONT WATCH THIS WHILE EATING

[@kawaiipanda9792]

The end was perfect 👌❤️

[@guestuser3303]

how to kill harry: make draco kiss him

[@lackingsleep6432]

You killed him lol

[@sophiasmith6488]

omg, this was soooooo funny. XD

[@angelina7229]

2:10 potter.exe has stopped working

[@arcticgachauwu2160]

I've watched this about 5-10 times
Also I don't think there are just 13 year Olds here

[@immk2547]

Me: (reading 6 Harry Potter book because it's the one I started on)
Harry:(sees draco in madam malkins) *talks*
Me: (sigh) and so it begins
My Harry Potter fan bff who had no idea about drarry til I told her: what?
Me: the war
Of
The
Terrible
Pickup lines

[@autumnbre]

Harry.exe stopped working

[@gabrielelliot518]

Im no Drarry fan, but damn that was smoooooooooth.

[@Mandy-kt1eq]

Annnnndddd harrys dead

[@cupcakedogs6090]

There👏were👏no👏moaning👏myrtle👏lines👏missed👏opportunity