Totally agree Clay. Its a tough one to get started. I found with myself the more work i do the happier i am. Gives you a purpose to life and something keep your mind occupied, not just thinking in negative circles
As someone who was in a very similar situation in my mid 20s... You just need to grow up mate, take accountability for yourself and stop being a liability to society and those around you - it's embarrassing and pathetic. Harsh words but it's the truth. Something clicked in my late 20s and I became terribly afraid of being perceived as a useless c*nt by both my parents and peers and I decided to do something about it. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which I still deal with today, but I now work a well paid job and just get on with it. I'm now able to support myself and those I care about. I feel much better about myself and my confidence levels are on the rise. Hopefully something clicks with this young man too. Cheers Clay, you're a good bugger.
This situation is common place in Australia. While knowing people like this, including my own brother, all I can say is that you are spot on. Very well spoken. I could go on about this subject and give many examples, but I will leave it at that.
As a young guy that has done the whole I don't want to work and I'm depressed thing, the main thing that will make you feel better is putting yourself out there and trying. I was very lucky to have a great support system which helps a lot too. Contributing to society has given me a lot of self worth and confidence so I'd like to think this guy who's only a year younger than me could do the same. It is different for everyone but I'm sure this guy can do it
Evening clay another harsh reality of what’s happening to our young generation not all of them but the ones that abuse the system and get away with it. Thanks for sharing clay I just hope that someone can help that young guy to turn his life around before it’s to late. All the best clay. 🤠 Colin ☕️☕️🙏
The biggest problem here is the Mother. Sounds like she created this years ago starting with allowing him to choose what food he eats. No guidelines, no rules. Get a backbone Mum and give him a time frame to get a job then kick him out if he doesn't. No one else will put up with him sponging off them. He will quickly find that out. Tough love needed here, you can do it Mum. Help him build his character by actions =consequences.
I got faith in ya benny , do the mahi get the treats. Im 25 too, had similar shit, buds dont help with anxiety, what does is meditation, releasing adrenaline, and eatin good . Good luck mate
Been there done that. The best thing was Mum and my stepdad kicking me out of their house if i didn't have a job in 2 weeks. 10 years on brought our first house after putting in the effort
Many will respond to that question by simply saying ..."I did not ask to be born", "My Parents made me without my consent so it is on them to provide for me". I don't personally share this view but I have had it expressed to me by another person at least once.
can you believe there was a case of a woman who tried suing her parents in the States because she never gave them her consent to be born? If I was the judge I would have handed the case in favor of the mother for doing all the hard work of raising such an ungrateful little princess.
@@thebrocheckclub1777 I did hear that and I don't quite know how to feel about it in all honesty. The negative attitude of the child in that case sadly is no surprise to me in today's World and I can't emphasise the word "Sadly" enough. The Gift of Life is truly one of, if not the most beautiful Gift one could ever receive. And, I have experienced my fair share of depression in Life myself and even recently ummed and ahhed about whether to stuck around or not but thankfully I always bounce back. I actually live in the same region as you and share a similar past in some respects I find after hearing a number of your teenage stories thus far. Tis truly a different World these days. Well, the same World but some very different Mindsets that's for sure. Oh, and thank you for your time in responding to my comment and of course for all your efforts in making the Videos you do. I really enjoy them and have been given a much needed pick me up from time to time so from one Man to another, I thank you.
I was adopted i don’t resent my biological mum or dad she was young but I’m here now because she didn’t have an abortion yes most people do stupid things but you make your own path in life if you get the chance it’s hereditary it’s in your genes wether to survive or get eaten by predators yourself or demons x
The best thing that can happen is WINZ cuts his benefit and he's forced to find work. Unlimited benefit can ruin people and it's sort of not their fault, they are just claiming free money. The Govt is at fault here, need to bring in a rule that if your able bodied your benefit gets cut after 3 months.
Take your sweet time Benny. You only live once so ignore the pressure coming from the outside. When the time is right you will discover your purpose and thrive. Your contribution will be multiple times more then than if you settle for just any minimum income job right now. Find your passion and you'll never 'work' and you'll have abundance. Don't worry that you are currently contributing little to society. Most struggles today are due to others living hard daily-grind types of lives. This keeps many ignorant of what's going on around them and leads to veiled mayhem. So long as their pay taxes etc. they believe society has their backs, it doesn't. The harm this society does to one another is way more damaging and expensive to repair than your few years on the benefit. Think about the times that made you happiest when growing up - no matter how childish they seem. Seek out a role in life that encompasses those similar feelings and you'll be okay, and better yet, you'll be your authentic self.
My thoughts, for what they're worth. Calling it 'working' probably brings a whole load of negative thoughts for this guy. He probably knows some people who don't enjoy their job, so he's thinking 'why would I want to put myself in their shoes?' If the conversation was more about finding something he was passionate about, or cared about, it might take some of this negative mental load off. Is there someone in his circle or community who can get him out of the house for the day, so he can see what they do and maybe experience what passion for a job looks like? The other thing, I totally agree with the idea that he's being supported by the rest of us, but I don't think that'll ever sink in. I've known a lot of people like this and their response is 'I didn't ask you to.' But good on you for taking the time to help him. Power to you, mate. We need more good bastards like you.
Dope combined with the instant gratification that phones/computers provide is a nasty combo. Smoking lowers the amount of stimulation you need to feel content and allows phones/computers to fill the gap. When you're a teenager you can get away with it but as you get older, that kind of lifestyle becomes a bad smell to everyone around you, especially women.
I think some young men, struggle to see where they fit in society. Rolemodels nor school life revealed a path they could imagine. The allure of 'artificial stimulants' provides temporary relief constantly. Likely struggling from all sorts of personal inadequacies their social status in the work force likely will be a further hit to their ego. Laziness I think in a lot of cases is more of a habit formed from fear and lacking a cohesive meaning for their life. The right role model, such as yourself Clay, can show them a way that may give them the respect and meaning they desire. I admire your energy and bravery that has lead to, dare I say as a pakeha, the mana to make real difference. Thanks and have a great day
You nailed it with "sh!t food" Clay Input=Output. Put shit in, get shit out. Diet is the easiest thing to change, get that dialed and the rest gets so much easier to manage. Time for this young man to make a choice and stand up, stand up for himself and the community that supports him. Chur brothers and sisters
Momma got him started, government keeps it going, living easy makes them lazy. Quit enabling. If they can do it for themselves, don't do it for them. Young and old alike.
25 is still young, so there is hope. If he wants to create a different life. Then begin with strengthening the physical body. Minerals, trace elements, sunshine, exercise, grounding, good steep. Detoxing chemicals, species correct diet. Once the body is stabilized, then start getting in touch with what lights you up. What's that thing you want to do with your life. There are structures for this. Vision quest is one example. Life is awesome when you get your formula worked out. That's the conversation to have with this guy.
@PaulEglinton I agree with you, except he has to knock some bad habits on the head first, then spend his extra dole money on gym fees & healthy minerals. Not cheap....
Seen this a few times. Book smarts obviously are not his thing. If he wants to make it in life it's gonna be hard work. The harder you work the luckier you get. Cut off his benefit, move him out from mums tit, and connect him up in a job outdoor with someone who won't accept his pathetic excuses. He will either man up or end up with his loser druggy mates and end up in prison.
Clay ! Firstly You’re a shining light in the community. I’m so sick of this crap from my generation. I’ve worked my arse off since 13 years old and it’s turned me (25) into a solid contributing member of society. I didn’t grow up with jack, however I was supported by hardy parents who showed me what it takes to look after whanau and community (a lot of bloody hard work). I love them for it. New Zealand’s gone soft so respect to the old school parents. Rant over
Thank you for sharing Clay. A useful quote from Bruce Lee " If you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it'll spread over into the rest of your life. It'll spread over into your work, into your mortality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them."
I worked school holidays when I was 10. Had a after school job & my own mowing round when 13. Full time job when 16 as a presser in a shearing gang. & have only stopped working from last May, then nearly died August last year. This young bloke needs a rude awakening. Change his mindset through necessity. Get of his arse and work. Earn your own money to buy cigs, electric broccoli & pokies.... you have a chance to work!!!! 😮
Spot on buddy hi mate 👋 I remember when I was ten I youse to deliver papers on my bike just to get some pocket money because my mum didn’t have much then the young generation these days don’t realise how easy they have it compared to back in our day cheers mad kiwi . 🤠Colin 👍
i myself am also 25 and working part time, lots of childhood trauma that i didnt even realise was trauma with undiagnosed ADHD and being treated different and at time stupid for not working like most others, really shot all my self confidence growing up and led me to feel lost for what to do as a career. honestly i do still feel lost but the main thing is im trying to fix my situation and my mindset, i was against therapy for a long time as i suppose that meant i admitted there was a problem. been going for 5 months now and its helped a ton. stopped eating crap food all the time and sodas, eat healthy and drink plenty of water, started weight training and jogging, going to bed early, waking up early, get out side with the dogs, it all seriously does help ALOT. working part time now and looking for a job type i can ease my way into full time and go from there. to any others in a similar situation please ask family, friends or professional help. don't drown in your own negative thoughts, there is a way to feel happy lads :)
Its a tough one for sure. Lefty social engineering has created a plethora of mental health issues amongst our young folk as well as muddying the waters on how you can and should live life. Realising that life is yours to live no matter what anyone else says is somewhere to start
Howdy y’all.Mr. Clay; young men and women are everywhere like that. Some get away with it and others don’t. I know female Bitches that worked at GM stayed on mental issues- plus prostitution so they could do Crack. Said they could show me the ropes; but first I would have to get read of my three kids. My kids were the reason I was at GM trying to give them a better life. As a family we endured hard times together. We cried together, you name it and we went threw it together. While Dad was sleeping. And heaven forbid Don’t wake Dad. What an idiot I was; Some might say I still am. It’s not about me. I can’t help that fellow from here but I am going to watch so I can see how he does. Because I CARE ❤❤. Truly. Mum’s fuck up all the time thinking they are doing the right thing. Life’s a bitch and then you die. They reached out to you Mr. Clay and I hope he will step up and put one foot 🦶 in front of the other. What about his dad? Where’s he? Alright y’all take care. It’s 9/7/2024 Saturday afternoon 1:30pm it’s cloudy and 56 degrees and cloudy. Sincerely.
Took me until I was almost 30 to lay off the "broccoli" and realize I hated my life and job a had. So I got a formal qualification and now get paid over 100k a year doing a job I love.(Took around 5 years, but that's fuck all in the grand scheme of things) I now own a brand new house in a decent neighbourhood, I have a wonderful partner and beautiful daughter, life's bloody great! It's certainly possible lads, just give it a crack. Even if it doesn't work out as planned it'll still be better than where you are currently
I was stacking wine at paknsave at 18 no qualifications one day thought fuck this now I'm 44 and a mechanical aerospace engineer and nobody paid for it bar me 😊
Lol ive worked since i was 18 im 31 now and still hate my life. Just getting by week to week as no good jobs out there even after i went to the polytech studied for a entire year twice now… once in 2011 doing engineering course same in 2016 spent a year doing a automotive course and again got fucking nothing from it no1 wants to hire unless your a reli or a mate of a mate… this country’s fucked!
Lol ive worked since i was 18 im 31 now and still hate my life. Just getting by week to week as no good jobs out there even after i went to the polytech studied for a entire year twice now… once in 2011 doing engineering course same in 2016 spent a year doing a automotive course and again got fucking nothing from it no1 wants to hire unless your a reli or a mate of a mate… this country’s fucked!
squeaky wheel gets the oil bro. I traveled around NZ when I was a young musician asking for gigs and constantly was turned away. I worked every shitty job from 10 years old collecting rags after school to selling paint thinners breathing in PMEK then made my way to Europe spending my last dollars and travelling 6 countries and then at the age of 27 BOOM! I got a call from my mate Stew in Germany and he had a gig that was on an entire circuit. After 17 years of doing laboring jobs I finally smashed it and from that day on I have always been my own boss. I played 3159 shows in Germany before I came home to NZ to raise my children.It is a numbers game bro. Just keep on asking, keep grinding.
@@gunthead7043 I live in the same country bro, yeah it's a bit fucked but that's just an excuse. I do understand your frustrations, but you're the only one who can change it. Keep trying, sometimes it takes a few backwards steps or even starting over again as I did. If you're keen enough to learn and can be reliable then someone WILL want you bro
Benny needs to reconnect with himself. He needs to remember his spirit animal. His spirit animal will remind Benny of his purpose. Work is the consequence of knowing our purpose. We don't benefit from working for the sake of working. Work is the expression of our purpose. First purpose then work.
I'm a Kiwi male 26, i'm educated and have a good standing in life, but also resonate with this korero. Had no dad growing up either, but thankfully had half-decent male role models/fatherly figures around me still.. but anyway I was on the dole through covid and just after having finished uni at 22, i was back at home with Mum and i had no real motivations to get on with things. Of course, i fell deeper into depression over the lockdowns and was smoking the electric broccoli as you say - an old habit from the studies. But then i thought about rocks.. no, no haha not that type, im talking the finest pounamu, agates and all other wonders of gemstones that New Zealand holds.. so i saved up some money, cut back the broccoli, bought a tile saw and a dremel, went on a trip down south for a couple weeks, came back with some rocks and proceeded to teach myself to carve. I then slowly built my own little business that allowed me to travel once a year and get out into nature and look for more of these beauties. Now this was fun n all, but after a couple years of selling my wears, i thought, na, i need some more routine, so i got the ball rolling a bit more.. Started a volunteering gig once a week at a the local art store and did that for a year and thought again, 'more routine still'.. 1 year later in Meat works with some good ol 4am wake ups, really taught me a thing or two there and gave me plenty of stories! But i still wasn't quite comfortable.. felt i needed more mental stimulation, on top of the regular weekly exercise - plus i had a degree, so may as well use it ae! I'm now 6 months into job as a land surveyor and civil engineer technician, bonus points, i still carve and go on my rock hounding trips each year, planning to make it two now with the income and I've just started saving for my first house! Yea i still smoke, but managing to keep it to the weekends.. mostly.. haha call it moderation, discipline, balance, whatever.. but having it as my weekend reward like most do with the drink, means i have my natural tolerance to it again, i enjoy the experience/ritual of it a lot more now too and obviously, im more clear headed at work as i need to be! Haha was great to watch this and reflect on how far I've actually come since covid and why i must keep pushing on! Hope this wee story of mine also helps some bro's out there struggling, just know you are of value, seek whatever that value is in yourself and learn to turn it into a skill.. Whats something you've been doing all your life that you know you have an upper hand in? And how can you then turn that value into a skill worth monertary gains? Good with cars? Do a course to become a mechanic. Good at art? Take your best projects to 3 of your nearest art spaces in your region and see if they'd like to sell it. Good at graffiti!? Learn to market designs and sell apparel. Music? 2$ headset + laptop or phone can make a song these days. Wanna help people? Volunteer firefighter, nurse or ambulance operator, or yea - art store care taker haha There are plenty of options to get the ball rolling and sheesh! You never know where its gonna land ya, but just know - as long as you take the steps, one at a time, that ball will eventually land you in a better position than you may be in now. Kia kaha brothers!
Im in the same boat as this guy, i was massively over parented and as such its made me a fucking useless adult and i now have to learn how to take care of myself because if i dont im fucked basically lmao
Self discipline and control of appetite got us in the mess the world we live in today, because the apple Adam and eve ate from when The Lord was asking why they replied because it was pleasing to the eye? Food for thought. ❤
gidday mate, to me its just been lazy you want things but dont want to make the effort because it doesn't fit into your current lifestyle. I've been there bro not wanting to work or not giving a shit, but snapped out of it, The thing is you dont have to be a construction worker or even work hard labor , I literally house/pet sit peoples houses/pets when they go away, atm the moment im looking after an entire shop, house an 30 acres,. You can walk dogs you can do some thing for a friend, I work for a neighbor at times picking avocados or different things, point is to this young fella or anyone you'll love the feeling when you've earnt that bit of money and have some more options, but only you can get of your arse an make it happen, its like quitting smoking if you dont actually want to quit you wont , but when you decide to its easy,. I dont think fatherless family's have any disadvantages at all that's an excuse , my sisters have done amazing, but my nephews and nieces are lazy as fuc, other then two of them who manage dairy farms,.
Sounds like he needs time with you Clay. Is the friend group similar, know a young fella who was doing just that as Benny, and one day, something changed, suddenly the friend group disappeared, he managed to get a half decent job after a while, still suffers terrible anxiety and depression, but is really having a go.
Pokies is a huge issue to start with let alone the wacky and normal smoking...He will be living for the day he gets paid to get his wacky and smokes and the rest on the pokies...Then his mother will be im guessing forking out $$$ for him as well...Which won't be helping...Or hes stealing her money....Not sure of a solution but I can guarantee pokies are ruling his life thats basically all that matters to him..
Build some self respect, present well,get help to source a job, make some work mates,teamwork makes the dream work. Take some control and have positive accountability in your own life...smoke solely CBD Buds if you have to (once employed) become a contributor to your mothers life,not a tragic sponge, there is plenty of work out there,dont use that bullshit excuse. Become a good khunt
Unfortunately, the young feller has had 25 years of living this way and it will be all he knows. His mother unwittingly started his road to laziness way back then, it won’t be impossible to change, but will be very hard to change his mind set, he’s also not alone… it’s becoming more common with a lot of people nowadays. As a fix?? I’d get him to think about something he wants as a motivator (like you and your new Black Betty and Log Cabin) to make a change. The only way he’s ever going to get anything he wants is to get off his arse, because the big stuff is never handed to you by tax payers. I believe you, Clay are right when you say that we’ve had it too easy for too long and this is what’s allowing these types of mentality’s to become more normal in our society.
Mates son is 30 and now a father and never worked a day in his life. If he needs shoes or a phone or anything winz pays out every time. He as doing burnouts in his car broke the axle and winz fixes it!! Yet here i am working 60hrs a week paying ridiculous amounts of tax for what? Our roads are rooted and wankers like my mates son take tax payers money. Simple if you can work then sorry no dole bro
25-Year-Old Male. Unemployed & Unmotivated. Wots the fix? Cut off all means of support. Further suggestion: Move out, mum. - cancel the tenancy - take a trip, and go and enjoy yourself. See you soon, here, in Whakatane.
It depends on his intelligence level - Did he do well at school? Some genius's out there become so demoralized with not finding a job after a period of rime they just give up! Start off doing short menial tasks because you are almost instantly rewarded with cash in hand. Once they are getting serious cash they find out life is much more fun and you can do more things. You can buy the car or boat you always wanted for example. Which means you can go places experience new things go on trips meet new people, make even more contacts, and friends, get cheaper food through fishing etc. Its all about getting small rewards to build up your confidence levels. Once you have some cash behind you you might also help out your poor mum who has had to carry you for all this time. Then consider getting better qualifications to get an even better job. It all snowballs to bigger opportunities !!!!!!!!!!!!
Not sure how he can even afford ciggies these days, cheapest ones are about $35/pack of 20s, nevermind a bit of herb too. It's a doggy world out there, if youve missed the boat and start a job in your late 20s on minimum wage, doing the absolute shit, in a job you hate, then it's gotta be demoralizing in itself. Probably the best start is easy does it, start part time, find a niche that you think your interested in and give it a go, it will lead to other jobs for sure and eventually something you become passionate or have a nack for.
It's the weed it's alot stronger these day's especially over the counter stuff makes em lazy unmotivated worst thing is they can get a script and now they have a medical condition can't drive ect out of nowhere it's a joke.
If there is no God, there are no real 'oughts.' If there is a God, then that is where the ought comes from. But we intuitively know that there are real 'oughts'. So there is a God. We are morally responsible toHim and by choosing to acknowledge our responsibility and walking in it, we will discover real purpose
God said to Adam as punishment after his disobedience in eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, now you will till the land and sweat from the brow, if you want to eat.... GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
who ever bene is, save your money, use pokie money on a gym membership, eat ur vegies, drink water, get a hair cut, shave ur pits and nuts, most importantly, thank ur mum and tell her u love her. 1 day at a time.
Totally agree Clay. Its a tough one to get started. I found with myself the more work i do the happier i am. Gives you a purpose to life and something keep your mind occupied, not just thinking in negative circles
As someone who was in a very similar situation in my mid 20s...
You just need to grow up mate, take accountability for yourself and stop being a liability to society and those around you - it's embarrassing and pathetic. Harsh words but it's the truth.
Something clicked in my late 20s and I became terribly afraid of being perceived as a useless c*nt by both my parents and peers and I decided to do something about it. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, both of which I still deal with today, but I now work a well paid job and just get on with it. I'm now able to support myself and those I care about. I feel much better about myself and my confidence levels are on the rise. Hopefully something clicks with this young man too.
Cheers Clay, you're a good bugger.
This situation is common place in Australia. While knowing people like this, including my own brother, all I can say is that you are spot on. Very well spoken. I could go on about this subject and give many examples, but I will leave it at that.
As a young guy that has done the whole I don't want to work and I'm depressed thing, the main thing that will make you feel better is putting yourself out there and trying. I was very lucky to have a great support system which helps a lot too. Contributing to society has given me a lot of self worth and confidence so I'd like to think this guy who's only a year younger than me could do the same. It is different for everyone but I'm sure this guy can do it
‘Why not struggle mentally and still do it’. So good!!
the all devouring mother
Evening clay another harsh reality of what’s happening to our young generation not all of them but the ones that abuse the system and get away with it. Thanks for sharing clay I just hope that someone can help that young guy to turn his life around before it’s to late. All the best clay. 🤠 Colin ☕️☕️🙏
The biggest problem here is the Mother. Sounds like she created this years ago starting with allowing him to choose what food he eats. No guidelines, no rules.
Get a backbone Mum and give him a time frame to get a job then kick him out if he doesn't. No one else will put up with him sponging off them. He will quickly find that out.
Tough love needed here, you can do it Mum. Help him build his character by actions =consequences.
I got faith in ya benny , do the mahi get the treats. Im 25 too, had similar shit, buds dont help with anxiety, what does is meditation, releasing adrenaline, and eatin good . Good luck mate
Been there done that. The best thing was Mum and my stepdad kicking me out of their house if i didn't have a job in 2 weeks. 10 years on brought our first house after putting in the effort
shot bro
Well done mate
Many will respond to that question by simply saying ..."I did not ask to be born", "My Parents made me without my consent so it is on them to provide for me". I don't personally share this view but I have had it expressed to me by another person at least once.
can you believe there was a case of a woman who tried suing her parents in the States because she never gave them her consent to be born? If I was the judge I would have handed the case in favor of the mother for doing all the hard work of raising such an ungrateful little princess.
@@thebrocheckclub1777 I did hear that and I don't quite know how to feel about it in all honesty. The negative attitude of the child in that case sadly is no surprise to me in today's World and I can't emphasise the word "Sadly" enough. The Gift of Life is truly one of, if not the most beautiful Gift one could ever receive. And, I have experienced my fair share of depression in Life myself and even recently ummed and ahhed about whether to stuck around or not but thankfully I always bounce back. I actually live in the same region as you and share a similar past in some respects I find after hearing a number of your teenage stories thus far. Tis truly a different World these days. Well, the same World but some very different Mindsets that's for sure. Oh, and thank you for your time in responding to my comment and of course for all your efforts in making the Videos you do. I really enjoy them and have been given a much needed pick me up from time to time so from one Man to another, I thank you.
I was adopted i don’t resent my biological mum or dad she was young but I’m here now because she didn’t have an abortion yes most people do stupid things but you make your own path in life if you get the chance it’s hereditary it’s in your genes wether to survive or get eaten by predators yourself or demons x
Spot on Clay totally agree, I have a female younger cousin doing exactly the same & is completely able bodied!
Doing nothing can be worse ,there could be personality complications going on , it's tricky .
True words.There’s to many young men living exactly like you said.
The best thing that can happen is WINZ cuts his benefit and he's forced to find work. Unlimited benefit can ruin people and it's sort of not their fault, they are just claiming free money. The Govt is at fault here, need to bring in a rule that if your able bodied your benefit gets cut after 3 months.
Take your sweet time Benny. You only live once so ignore the pressure coming from the outside. When the time is right you will discover your purpose and thrive. Your contribution will be multiple times more then than if you settle for just any minimum income job right now. Find your passion and you'll never 'work' and you'll have abundance.
Don't worry that you are currently contributing little to society. Most struggles today are due to others living hard daily-grind types of lives. This keeps many ignorant of what's going on around them and leads to veiled mayhem. So long as their pay taxes etc. they believe society has their backs, it doesn't. The harm this society does to one another is way more damaging and expensive to repair than your few years on the benefit.
Think about the times that made you happiest when growing up - no matter how childish they seem. Seek out a role in life that encompasses those similar feelings and you'll be okay, and better yet, you'll be your authentic self.
Thanks Clay.
My thoughts, for what they're worth. Calling it 'working' probably brings a whole load of negative thoughts for this guy. He probably knows some people who don't enjoy their job, so he's thinking 'why would I want to put myself in their shoes?' If the conversation was more about finding something he was passionate about, or cared about, it might take some of this negative mental load off. Is there someone in his circle or community who can get him out of the house for the day, so he can see what they do and maybe experience what passion for a job looks like? The other thing, I totally agree with the idea that he's being supported by the rest of us, but I don't think that'll ever sink in. I've known a lot of people like this and their response is 'I didn't ask you to.' But good on you for taking the time to help him. Power to you, mate. We need more good bastards like you.
Dope combined with the instant gratification that phones/computers provide is a nasty combo. Smoking lowers the amount of stimulation you need to feel content and allows phones/computers to fill the gap.
When you're a teenager you can get away with it but as you get older, that kind of lifestyle becomes a bad smell to everyone around you, especially women.
well said
I think some young men, struggle to see where they fit in society. Rolemodels nor school life revealed a path they could imagine. The allure of 'artificial stimulants' provides temporary relief constantly. Likely struggling from all sorts of personal inadequacies their social status in the work force likely will be a further hit to their ego. Laziness I think in a lot of cases is more of a habit formed from fear and lacking a cohesive meaning for their life. The right role model, such as yourself Clay, can show them a way that may give them the respect and meaning they desire. I admire your energy and bravery that has lead to, dare I say as a pakeha, the mana to make real difference. Thanks and have a great day
You nailed it with "sh!t food" Clay
Input=Output.
Put shit in, get shit out.
Diet is the easiest thing to change, get that dialed and the rest gets so much easier to manage.
Time for this young man to make a choice and stand up, stand up for himself and the community that supports him.
Chur brothers and sisters
Good on you clay
Momma got him started, government keeps it going, living easy makes them lazy. Quit enabling. If they can do it for themselves, don't do it for them. Young and old alike.
"Good bastards" I had forgotten about them...and they are all around me.Many thanks for the reminder. Time to recalibrate.
25 is still young, so there is hope.
If he wants to create a different life.
Then begin with strengthening the physical body.
Minerals, trace elements, sunshine, exercise, grounding, good steep.
Detoxing chemicals, species correct diet.
Once the body is stabilized, then start getting in touch with what lights you up. What's that thing you want to do with your life.
There are structures for this. Vision quest is one example.
Life is awesome when you get your formula worked out. That's the conversation to have with this guy.
@PaulEglinton I agree with you, except he has to knock some bad habits on the head first, then spend his extra dole money on gym fees & healthy minerals. Not cheap....
@@MADKIWI begin with establishing new habits. Experiencing the benefits early can help him establish his own inner motivation.
I was waiting to see a comment like this. So true
Seen this a few times. Book smarts obviously are not his thing. If he wants to make it in life it's gonna be hard work. The harder you work the luckier you get. Cut off his benefit, move him out from mums tit, and connect him up in a job outdoor with someone who won't accept his pathetic excuses. He will either man up or end up with his loser druggy mates and end up in prison.
Clay ! Firstly You’re a shining light in the community.
I’m so sick of this crap from my generation. I’ve worked my arse off since 13 years old and it’s turned me (25) into a solid contributing member of society. I didn’t grow up with jack, however I was supported by hardy parents who showed me what it takes to look after whanau and community (a lot of bloody hard work). I love them for it. New Zealand’s gone soft so respect to the old school parents. Rant over
Honestly bro, volunteer. Gain references for your CV. You didn't hear it from me but AI is very helpful for writing a nice, formal CV.
Thank you for sharing Clay. A useful quote from Bruce Lee " If you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it'll spread over into the rest of your life. It'll spread over into your work, into your mortality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them."
I find NOT working stressful, Clay a break every now and then is ok ! Even a bit of electric broccoli!!
Not all the time that's bad for your health.
I worked school holidays when I was 10. Had a after school job & my own mowing round when 13. Full time job when 16 as a presser in a shearing gang. & have only stopped working from last May, then nearly died August last year.
This young bloke needs a rude awakening. Change his mindset through necessity. Get of his arse and work. Earn your own money to buy cigs, electric broccoli & pokies.... you have a chance to work!!!! 😮
Spot on buddy hi mate 👋 I remember when I was ten I youse to deliver papers on my bike just to get some pocket money because my mum didn’t have much then the young generation these days don’t realise how easy they have it compared to back in our day cheers mad kiwi . 🤠Colin 👍
@colinprice5414 same here. we got minimal pocket money only when we went on holiday..
id get away from all that crap though too, the ciggies the booze the pokies. its all nasty crap
i myself am also 25 and working part time, lots of childhood trauma that i didnt even realise was trauma with undiagnosed ADHD and being treated different and at time stupid for not working like most others, really shot all my self confidence growing up and led me to feel lost for what to do as a career. honestly i do still feel lost but the main thing is im trying to fix my situation and my mindset, i was against therapy for a long time as i suppose that meant i admitted there was a problem. been going for 5 months now and its helped a ton. stopped eating crap food all the time and sodas, eat healthy and drink plenty of water, started weight training and jogging, going to bed early, waking up early, get out side with the dogs, it all seriously does help ALOT. working part time now and looking for a job type i can ease my way into full time and go from there. to any others in a similar situation please ask family, friends or professional help. don't drown in your own negative thoughts, there is a way to feel happy lads :)
What a brilliant story. Hats off to you brother.
Its a tough one for sure. Lefty social engineering has created a plethora of mental health issues amongst our young folk as well as muddying the waters on how you can and should live life. Realising that life is yours to live no matter what anyone else says is somewhere to start
Howdy y’all.Mr. Clay; young men and women are everywhere like that. Some get away with it and others don’t. I know female Bitches that worked at GM stayed on mental issues- plus prostitution so they could do Crack. Said they could show me the ropes; but first I would have to get read of my three kids. My kids were the reason I was at GM trying to give them a better life. As a family we endured hard times together. We cried together, you name it and we went threw it together. While Dad was sleeping. And heaven forbid Don’t wake Dad. What an idiot I was; Some might say I still am. It’s not about me. I can’t help that fellow from here but I am going to watch so I can see how he does. Because I CARE ❤❤. Truly. Mum’s fuck up all the time thinking they are doing the right thing. Life’s a bitch and then you die. They reached out to you Mr. Clay and I hope he will step up and put one foot 🦶 in front of the other. What about his dad? Where’s he? Alright y’all take care. It’s 9/7/2024 Saturday afternoon 1:30pm it’s cloudy and 56 degrees and cloudy. Sincerely.
Pretty sad really mate 😢
Took me until I was almost 30 to lay off the "broccoli" and realize I hated my life and job a had. So I got a formal qualification and now get paid over 100k a year doing a job I love.(Took around 5 years, but that's fuck all in the grand scheme of things) I now own a brand new house in a decent neighbourhood, I have a wonderful partner and beautiful daughter, life's bloody great!
It's certainly possible lads, just give it a crack. Even if it doesn't work out as planned it'll still be better than where you are currently
I was stacking wine at paknsave at 18 no qualifications one day thought fuck this now I'm 44 and a mechanical aerospace engineer and nobody paid for it bar me 😊
Lol ive worked since i was 18 im 31 now and still hate my life. Just getting by week to week as no good jobs out there even after i went to the polytech studied for a entire year twice now… once in 2011 doing engineering course same in 2016 spent a year doing a automotive course and again got fucking nothing from it no1 wants to hire unless your a reli or a mate of a mate… this country’s fucked!
Lol ive worked since i was 18 im 31 now and still hate my life. Just getting by week to week as no good jobs out there even after i went to the polytech studied for a entire year twice now… once in 2011 doing engineering course same in 2016 spent a year doing a automotive course and again got fucking nothing from it no1 wants to hire unless your a reli or a mate of a mate… this country’s fucked!
squeaky wheel gets the oil bro. I traveled around NZ when I was a young musician asking for gigs and constantly was turned away. I worked every shitty job from 10 years old collecting rags after school to selling paint thinners breathing in PMEK then made my way to Europe spending my last dollars and travelling 6 countries and then at the age of 27 BOOM! I got a call from my mate Stew in Germany and he had a gig that was on an entire circuit. After 17 years of doing laboring jobs I finally smashed it and from that day on I have always been my own boss. I played 3159 shows in Germany before I came home to NZ to raise my children.It is a numbers game bro. Just keep on asking, keep grinding.
@@gunthead7043 I live in the same country bro, yeah it's a bit fucked but that's just an excuse. I do understand your frustrations, but you're the only one who can change it. Keep trying, sometimes it takes a few backwards steps or even starting over again as I did. If you're keen enough to learn and can be reliable then someone WILL want you bro
Yes 100% agree with what you are saying
Benny needs to reconnect with himself.
He needs to remember his spirit animal.
His spirit animal will remind Benny of his purpose.
Work is the consequence of knowing our purpose.
We don't benefit from working for the sake of working.
Work is the expression of our purpose.
First purpose then work.
Well said
It's a shame, but it's the way the world is going really.
I'm a Kiwi male 26, i'm educated and have a good standing in life, but also resonate with this korero. Had no dad growing up either, but thankfully had half-decent male role models/fatherly figures around me still.. but anyway I was on the dole through covid and just after having finished uni at 22, i was back at home with Mum and i had no real motivations to get on with things.
Of course, i fell deeper into depression over the lockdowns and was smoking the electric broccoli as you say - an old habit from the studies.
But then i thought about rocks.. no, no haha not that type, im talking the finest pounamu, agates and all other wonders of gemstones that New Zealand holds.. so i saved up some money, cut back the broccoli, bought a tile saw and a dremel, went on a trip down south for a couple weeks, came back with some rocks and proceeded to teach myself to carve. I then slowly built my own little business that allowed me to travel once a year and get out into nature and look for more of these beauties.
Now this was fun n all, but after a couple years of selling my wears, i thought, na, i need some more routine, so i got the ball rolling a bit more..
Started a volunteering gig once a week at a the local art store and did that for a year and thought again, 'more routine still'..
1 year later in Meat works with some good ol 4am wake ups, really taught me a thing or two there and gave me plenty of stories! But i still wasn't quite comfortable.. felt i needed more mental stimulation, on top of the regular weekly exercise - plus i had a degree, so may as well use it ae!
I'm now 6 months into job as a land surveyor and civil engineer technician, bonus points, i still carve and go on my rock hounding trips each year, planning to make it two now with the income and I've just started saving for my first house! Yea i still smoke, but managing to keep it to the weekends.. mostly.. haha call it moderation, discipline, balance, whatever.. but having it as my weekend reward like most do with the drink, means i have my natural tolerance to it again, i enjoy the experience/ritual of it a lot more now too and obviously, im more clear headed at work as i need to be!
Haha was great to watch this and reflect on how far I've actually come since covid and why i must keep pushing on!
Hope this wee story of mine also helps some bro's out there struggling, just know you are of value, seek whatever that value is in yourself and learn to turn it into a skill..
Whats something you've been doing all your life that you know you have an upper hand in? And how can you then turn that value into a skill worth monertary gains?
Good with cars? Do a course to become a mechanic. Good at art? Take your best projects to 3 of your nearest art spaces in your region and see if they'd like to sell it. Good at graffiti!? Learn to market designs and sell apparel. Music? 2$ headset + laptop or phone can make a song these days. Wanna help people? Volunteer firefighter, nurse or ambulance operator, or yea - art store care taker haha
There are plenty of options to get the ball rolling and sheesh! You never know where its gonna land ya, but just know - as long as you take the steps, one at a time, that ball will eventually land you in a better position than you may be in now.
Kia kaha brothers!
Brilliant bro. This is post worthy stuff. It needs some light shone it.
Society is broken around the globe it seems. I see same thing in my area.
Never a truer word said bro.
Im in the same boat as this guy, i was massively over parented and as such its made me a fucking useless adult and i now have to learn how to take care of myself because if i dont im fucked basically lmao
Insightful bro. Thats a pretty good start.
Self discipline and control of appetite got us in the mess the world we live in today, because the apple Adam and eve ate from when The Lord was asking why they replied because it was pleasing to the eye? Food for thought. ❤
Getting a job or starting to work around home walking get the body moving or mum tell him to move out and fend for himself
gidday mate, to me its just been lazy you want things but dont want to make the effort because it doesn't fit into your current lifestyle.
I've been there bro not wanting to work or not giving a shit, but snapped out of it,
The thing is you dont have to be a construction worker or even work hard labor , I literally house/pet sit peoples houses/pets when they go away, atm the moment im looking after an entire shop, house an 30 acres,. You can walk dogs you can do some thing for a friend, I work for a neighbor at times picking avocados or different things,
point is to this young fella or anyone you'll love the feeling when you've earnt that bit of money and have some more options,
but only you can get of your arse an make it happen, its like quitting smoking if you dont actually want to quit you wont , but when you decide to its easy,.
I dont think fatherless family's have any disadvantages at all that's an excuse , my sisters have done amazing, but my nephews and nieces are lazy as fuc, other then two of them who manage dairy farms,.
Sounds like he needs time with you Clay. Is the friend group similar, know a young fella who was doing just that as Benny, and one day, something changed, suddenly the friend group disappeared, he managed to get a half decent job after a while, still suffers terrible anxiety and depression, but is really having a go.
Pokies is a huge issue to start with let alone the wacky and normal smoking...He will be living for the day he gets paid to get his wacky and smokes and the rest on the pokies...Then his mother will be im guessing forking out $$$ for him as well...Which won't be helping...Or hes stealing her money....Not sure of a solution but I can guarantee pokies are ruling his life thats basically all that matters to him..
A fkn good sit-down talking to and tell him like it is ..if no listen then ?? Don't know
Build some self respect, present well,get help to source a job, make some work mates,teamwork makes the dream work. Take some control and have positive accountability in your own life...smoke solely CBD Buds if you have to (once employed) become a contributor to your mothers life,not a tragic sponge, there is plenty of work out there,dont use that bullshit excuse. Become a good khunt
Tough love. Give him one month to get a job or he's out and fending for himself.
Unfortunately, the young feller has had 25 years of living this way and it will be all he knows.
His mother unwittingly started his road to laziness way back then, it won’t be impossible to change, but will be very hard to change his mind set, he’s also not alone… it’s becoming more common with a lot of people nowadays.
As a fix?? I’d get him to think about something he wants as a motivator (like you and your new Black Betty and Log Cabin) to make a change. The only way he’s ever going to get anything he wants is to get off his arse, because the big stuff is never handed to you by tax payers.
I believe you, Clay are right when you say that we’ve had it too easy for too long and this is what’s allowing these types of mentality’s to become more normal in our society.
Mates son is 30 and now a father and never worked a day in his life. If he needs shoes or a phone or anything winz pays out every time. He as doing burnouts in his car broke the axle and winz fixes it!! Yet here i am working 60hrs a week paying ridiculous amounts of tax for what? Our roads are rooted and wankers like my mates son take tax payers money. Simple if you can work then sorry no dole bro
Makes yah blood boil
fine twenty some young..... specimen.
Don’t work so much hours dude
Definitely does my man@@selwynellison8504
@TNP1990 haha I don't so much now
25-Year-Old Male. Unemployed & Unmotivated. Wots the fix? Cut off all means of support.
Further suggestion: Move out, mum. - cancel the tenancy - take a trip, and go and enjoy yourself.
See you soon, here, in Whakatane.
😂That's a real bright answer to the problem buddy🎉
100% agree with you
nah you gotta do it in a healthy manner. doing that will just throw in a decent chance he'll go the criminal route
It depends on his intelligence level - Did he do well at school? Some genius's out there become so demoralized with not finding a job after a period of rime they just give up! Start off doing short menial tasks because you are almost instantly rewarded with cash in hand. Once they are getting serious cash they find out life is much more fun and you can do more things. You can buy the car or boat you always wanted for example. Which means you can go places experience new things go on trips meet new people, make even more contacts, and friends, get cheaper food through fishing etc. Its all about getting small rewards to build up your confidence levels. Once you have some cash behind you you might also help out your poor mum who has had to carry you for all this time. Then consider getting better qualifications to get an even better job. It all snowballs to bigger opportunities !!!!!!!!!!!!
Not sure how he can even afford ciggies these days, cheapest ones are about $35/pack of 20s, nevermind a bit of herb too.
It's a doggy world out there, if youve missed the boat and start a job in your late 20s on minimum wage, doing the absolute shit, in a job you hate, then it's gotta be demoralizing in itself.
Probably the best start is easy does it, start part time, find a niche that you think your interested in and give it a go, it will lead to other jobs for sure and eventually something you become passionate or have a nack for.
"It's a dog eat dog world" is the saying!
He needs to go do basic training for 3 months in the army . 25 is still youn enough to turn shit around and become a contributing member of society.
It's the weed it's alot stronger these day's especially over the counter stuff makes em lazy unmotivated worst thing is they can get a script and now they have a medical condition can't drive ect out of nowhere it's a joke.
Government gonna call him out if he's on unemployment benny.
Did you win lotto?🤔
Na bro. Robbed a bank
If there is no God, there are no real 'oughts.'
If there is a God, then that is where the ought comes from.
But we intuitively know that there are real 'oughts'. So there is a God.
We are morally responsible toHim and by choosing to acknowledge our responsibility and walking in it, we will discover real purpose
God said to Adam as punishment after his disobedience in eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, now you will till the land and sweat from the brow, if you want to eat.... GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Aren't you being entitled giving advice about vaccines, without the skills of a medical professional.
who ever bene is, save your money, use pokie money on a gym membership, eat ur vegies, drink water, get a hair cut, shave ur pits and nuts, most importantly, thank ur mum and tell her u love her. 1 day at a time.
dam I like this. hard case avatar too bro.
Great advice except the shaving part
Shave your pits and nuts 😂 and get a wicked farkn rash yeah nah dont do that