Do nonbinary people belong in the trans community? | Finding your place in a binary world.
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
- Being nonbinary is great and all but the enbyphobia is REAL. Let’s chat about all the feelings this brings up.
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I’m older, and growing up I had never heard of anyone being non-binary. It was very difficult for me because I never felt like I fit in anywhere. Having very transphobic and generally anti LGBTQ parents made it even worse. About five years ago I saw a Ted talk featuring a non-binary person, and I instantly knew that was me. I broke down and cried for like 20 minutes straight, because I finally found a word for who I am. I’m not about to let anyone tell me I’m not valid. I know exactly who the fuck I am. I’m glad you do too!
I came out as non-binary two years ago. Honestly, the worst transphobia I have faced has come from the trans community itself. It has been shocking. I had been a strong ally of the LGBT+ community for decades and done a lot of reading and advocacy work. While I had heard about the LGBT+ community often not accepting people who are bisexual, I had never heard anything about the trans community. I'm finding out the hard way that there's a lot of bigotry aimed at crossdressers and non-binary individuals within the LGBT+ community. Even binary trans individuals tear each other down and assume others are not how they identify for reasons that sound more like something out of alt right propaganda than anything based on the science of gender identity. It's a topic that really needs to be discussed more.
No I *feel* that. I'm also non-binary, and the comment I've received so far that hurt the most from a Gen X trans woman who said something to the effect of "oh... I don't really know about the 'they/them'" and I was soooo disappointed because I thought if *anyone* would understand the genderfucky-ness of it all, it would be her.
She did go on to use my correct pronouns the next time I saw her, so that was nice. But our initial interaction was still very upsetting in a way that I didn't expect, especially because I wasn't expecting it from her especially.
I count myself as trans personally because I want to get top surgery one day, *and* because I feel like I have (or least am trying to) socially transitioned, to a certain extent at least. Who I am now is *very* different from how I learned how to present when I was "female." I'm not a different person, but to the people who used to be closest to me, I might as well be. I am no longer the person they thought they knew.
thank you for this, I am genderfluid and I have been feeling alone.
I’m so glad it could help!!
Glad to see your back!
Yea that episode of jubilee was kinda wild....
Especially when they were saying your have to have dismorphia/dysmorphia or surgery in order to be trans.... That would make trans "a new invention" if you have to medically transition... And it would eradicate transness once we get a certain amount of social acceptance (ie the people growing up in that society won't have dysphoria, but still could be discriminated against)
It's like gurl, Enbys aren't the ones trying to make you detransition... Don't let bigots ignore the responsibility they have over their own actions
Right!!!! It’s so dense! It really is a refusal to have empathy for others experiences smh 🤦🏾
@@mavmagick- Not only that, but it's not science! You have to have gender dysphoria to qualify for a diagnosis of gender dysphoria. That's it! You don't have to have dysphoria to be trans. You can be perfectly happy as a trans individual if you can present the way you want before transitioning and get access to gender affirming care when you need it. Dysphoria is the trauma that occurs when you can't get those things. You don't need to be traumatized to be trans.
You are an inspiration! Your channel has really helped me with my self doubt as an enby. Unfortumately, I wont be able to transition physically for a few years because of personal circumstances, and i might not even do so. But. You've made me feel so much better about my feelings regarding the topic! 😊😊😊😊
Thank you😭😭 I’m glad my ramblings have been supportive in your journey!! And waiting to transition must suck so bad. I wish you the best!
This video was wonderful, thank you
💛🤍💜🖤
i’ve been debating so much about if i was valid as a non binary person to, i also don’t think about it that much, but i still get into those debates. like i have gender dysphoria (born a woman) but i wouldn’t necessarily want to be fully a man (but i would definitely rather have a masculine body and some male parts) it’s very hard for me to feel valid because of those feelings and definitely when people say you aren’t trans when non binary.. but deep down i know i am trans as well as non binary. sadly i’ve argued with many of my family members especially about this debate..
i tried so hard explaining trans means someone who doesn’t identify as their birth gender but they just shouted at me that i’m only non binary and not trans :( luckily they’ve gotten better but there still not quite at the fully supporting stage. thank you for this video ❤
I’m so sorry that you’ve been having some difficulty and have been experiencing this as well. but the fact that you know in your heart who you are is, what’s really important here!
@@mavmagick ❤️
Honestly, really relate to this. I have gender dysphoria because I’m born a woman, and hate certain aspects of myself that make me very very uncomfortable.
It’s super hard when I’ve seen trans people deny my existence as well. I had a friend who used to identify as nonbinary and currently (to my knowledge) as a trans man, and it really hurt when he dismissed me coming out because I “never experienced it in childhood” as if internalized transphobia doesn’t make it harder.
I also have an extremely transphobic father, so it makes it hard for me be able to start a full transition process because I’m still dependent on him for something’s, as much as hearing his rants about trans people make me really uncomfortable and a bit suicidal.
So having a creator like Mav be so open is honestly healing, because I remember all of the times people in and out of the community will say hurtful shit.
@@Suited_Nat i hope you can escape from that one day and find people who do support you for who you are in the real world! Generally hope it all gets better for you ^^
People need to spend less time worrying about whether or not other people want to include them in their groups. It's strange when people who make a big deal about rejecting certain labels spend most of their time worrying about other labels.
It’s also strange to put unnecessary barriers up within the queer/trans community for no reason
@@mavmagick If people don't relate to you, they don't relate to you. You can't force people to relate to you. The "trans community" existed for decades before "non-binary" existed. They aren't obligated to let you into their group.
@@mavmagickreal 💖
Being a minority feels like being pushed into a pit you inadverently helped create, only to be eventually helped out... unawarely stepping on the heads of the others who will need help later.
Ignorance is bliss until you realize its cost you normalized a long time ago.
Blaire White is one of rhe most shameless people in existence
Really appreciate this...its been hard because being non binary, i had this distinct sadness to know that non binary isnt really accpeted in both cis and trans spaces, and there really isnt a guidebook to it....and i currently on a break from to figure things out for myself.
We have to create our own paths (i feel sometimes there is more of a guidebook to binary transitionsl), and it can be very lonely, there is community, but trying to explain it to potential life partners can be also challenging....
How do we know we got our non-binary path right for ourselves?
I check in within myself, and it seems almost to the point that i dont notice it because i have accepted it. There are just social smacks in the face at this point.
Any suggestions?
Honestly I agree with you. Because I’ve felt that way for a long time, and I personally don’t think the nonbinary identity will be fully ever accepted within the spaces.
Honestly, seeing your videos is so healing. I’ve been wanting to transition for 2-3 years at the minimum, but can’t transition currently due to personal reasons and barriers.
That being said, seeing you talk about your experience is really validating, because I remember when I was 16 and wanted to come out to a trans person, he essentially denied my coming out, and that made me go back into the closet until I turned 18.
Like even now, I can’t fully transition due to monetary fears, so it’s nice to see people who are open and honest about their own experiences, while not putting others down.
@@Suited_Nat be patient friend! Sending lots of love!
I'm in this odd liminal space between binary and nonbinary. I had a two-year period where i had realized i was "not a man" but didn't change my name or pronouns (mainly my wardrobe changed) and didn't consider myself trans. Then i came out as a nonbinary girl and started socially and medically transitioning, using they/them for s while, which slowly shifted over a couple years to just she/her. Now i tend to live and function mostly as a binary woman, but nonbinary issues are still very personal.
It's utterly absurd that any trans person would gatekeep enbys. The point is that you are not the gender you were assigned at birth (based on perceived biology). That's it. It's not hard.
Honestly, while my experience for being enby isn’t the same (Afab, but want to medically transition my chest,) it’s nice to see such open support.
🤠💜
I feel the Categorization of cis people which I still fall victim to as a AMAB enby from time to time. They'll never understand our struggles so called "cis allies" Who backstab us, but also other trans people is really demotivating.
Transfems have been the most accepting from my experience. I on the fence whether I want to identify myself as transfem or not.
Nope. No, nope. No.
Wait… no to my existence, the video, or is this just a nervous habit of yours?
Love you ❤
🥰🥰love you!!!