I quit residency Oct 2023 (was depressed, suicidal…etc) got a job at an insurance company. I didn’t know living life without constantly being in a fight or flight mode existed! It’s insane how relaxed and happy I am now.
It's soooo nice coming out of constant fight or flight isn't it? So sorry you had to go through such a difficult time to get to this place though. Have you seen my soft life video? Think you'll enjoy that! Hope the new work is going well for you.
Oh my goodness. Much needed. I am in the US finishing internal medicine residency . As you might know this is where you apply for IM sub specialty. I feel like I just don’t want to continue on this rat race anymore. It’s been almost 12 years of post high school to get here and I can’t just give additional years of training just to get another level. I realized that life is just too short . We are not here forever. My parents are getting old and so am I . I understood that happiness actually be found in simplicity and gratitude to God . I am planning to be Locum hospitalist too . Praying about it . Appreciate you for sharing us your perspective . Stay blessed lovely lady ☦️🙏
I hope this video helped you! When I was making the decision to locum (and stay as a locum long term) I felt pretty lost. Been doing it 4 years now and I haven't looked back! I get the best parts of being a doctor and I got my life back. I know you guys in the US work even longer hours than us, so I can only imagine how tiring it must be.
Thank so much Dr Sarah for making this video. Watching this video really just validated everything I felt about stoping full time practise. Thanks for documenting your experience and help others feeling same way.
@@SarahNicholls I still have same feeling I felt when I decided not to practice full time. I don’t want to go back. I think being a doctor is a plus for me and it is left to me to make out of it what I want instead of following a traditional path that I don’t like.
Connecting to your values is so key... I took a few years away from being a consultant psychiatrist to be with my growing family , train in mindful self compassion and become a yin yoga teacher . I felt a lot of shame initially , but now I am transitioning back into clinical psychiatry these experiences make me a better doctor
Thank you for sharing this. Hopefully other people reading the comments will take inspiration from you as a consultant to see that it's not just junior doctors who need to reassess and move their career in a different direction now and then. Love that you took the time to prioritise what was important for you! ❤️
The best lesson I’ve learned in my life is to listen to ourselves. The inner signals are there alerting us that something is not right about the path we’re on. Being present with ourselves and listening to what these inner signals are alerting us to , helps us become happier and filled with more joy. It then directs a better path and a better decision, which leads to a better, happier life.
Give yourself time. You are already a productive person. I support your decision. Things are not going well anyway in medical world nowadays. But there will definitely come a day when you will feel ready. I congratulate you for taking this difficult decision and implementing it. Not everyone is brave enough to make this decision. I wish you best,Sarah!
Proud to call you my personal Coach! What a great combination, I would agree you are utilizing your skills to the max. You are using your passion to help in a very unique way and that sets you apart, and shoud not be seen as a failure to commit to a pathway driven by the expectations of others.
Hello Dr Sarah, I'm so glad you've found the path that's right for you, I'm sure a lot of healthcare workers can relate a lot to your experience😅 but I feel many of us are unsure of entering locum work, since it's different to a traditional nhs job, so I think a video on your experince with that in terms of contracts and salary would be good so we can learn about it from you ❤
Sounds like the perfect arrangement. Regular new experiences, meeting new people, chance to travel and work in other parts of the country....plus your not 'owned' by anyone and you get to chose how often you would like to work.
It's a really difficult time to be working in the NHS for sure, and even more difficult to be a patient right now. Such a shame. Thank you for being a long time viewer!!
Great video Sarah, I've just started GEM at Nottingham myself. I completely understand your situation. I do locum nursing as a student now and I love the flexibility and freedom. Just wondered, have you thought about the "middle grade" route? I have met some middle grades in A&E and anaesthetics over the years and they love their job. They get the "shop floor" experience of being hands on with the patients but without the management/admin workload of a consultant. They also have fairly set shift patterns and seem to have a fairly good work/life balance. I'm considering this myself as a "latecomer" to medicine. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck going forward.
Best of luck with GEM at Nottingham! I had a great experience there. I may also be coming back there soon to do a talk, so watch this space 👀 I've definitely considered the 'middle grade' option and have decided after a lot of thought that it's not for me. If medicine was my one and only income source then I would 100% go down that route, but these days my focus is more on my business, so I'm very happy in the locum position I'm in at work.
I have no idea who you are but you're super cool and i enjoyed this video. I've maintained for a while now that it's much more important to work on yourself, than it is to work on your career. Best of luck with your decision and future pursuits.
Very brave of you making this decision and action it. I am on the way and might be in a bit different way executing it. Finishing my training hopefully soon and my plan is gradually transitioning to where I want to be after training while keeping financial health not significantly affected. It’s so encouraging to see UK grad doctor like you showed this path as a successful example. Thank you so much 😊
Just coming across this video. I wish you the best in your new adventures. Big life decisions can be scary and unsettling. I’m glad the decision you made has given you peace. As far as the opinions of others, I appreciate those simply as a way to reveal options I may not have know about or thought of, not as directives. I can consider them and then take, leave, or modify them to keep alignment with my own vision and goals for myself. I do hope that now, 8 months later, you are thriving and joyous on your new path!
Thanks for sharing Dr. Sarah 🙏🏾 Imo full time work for female physicians isn’t ideal. Most women need flexibility and enough down time for our bodies to relax and heal. In addition, when we’re married +/- children the bulk of household duties and childcare generally falls on our shoulders. My solution: a 4 day work week works best for me (for now)…
Hi dr Sarah I need advice. I’m studying the same thing, I’m a student. I like the knowledge, and I’m not really good at anything else (other majors). I have to admit I always had health anxiety and when I study these diseases etc, seeing sick people (can’t see horrible ones) i get too anxious. I tell myself, I AM helping them, maybe that’s my calling and that’s where my anxiety is coming from maybe just is there to be able to help them and feel for them, but it doesn’t sound normal compared to times where I was not studying and I am just myself, going out in the park, gym, not dealing with sad stuff all the time. I really don’t know what to do and would really really appreciate your advice ❤
Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I am a doctor from Bangladesh.Once was a dream,now i hate this profession..so energy consuming,exhausting...i just count the time when my shift will end...constantly being anxious whenver there will be a serious patient...i just want to quit..bt after 38 years of my life..i just cant switch to some else job...its not that easy😫😩now i hate my decision to be a doctor...i wish i could be something else
Admission to med school was not my choice, my family decided it I was really immature at the time that I let them ruin my entire life im still in my fourth stage seeing these experiences of you and other residents that i saw in the hospital i can't help it anymore knowing that i will suffer my whole life, the thing is i know that the thing that im dealing with right now is not going to be any better but much worse, pretty much lifeless i wish i can get out and have an alternative job but i simply can't wish i never been born. When you said u were counting the days to ur weekend im actually waiting to die
Oh my goodness, it sounds like you're really having a hard time right now, I'm so sorry. Please reach out to someone for support because it doesn't have to be this way and things can definitely get better for you.
Did you do your training over COVID because I have been traumatised after that. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for so many years. After years of therapy I have recovered and am working as a Locum.
@@SarahNicholls Thank you, I am. I just want people to know that GP is not the easy option. Was an A&E doctor for the longest time and whilst it was hard, the pressures of GP are something else entirely. I am working to fund a way out :)
Yay congratulations!! I remember walking into medical school for the first few months thinking "I can't believe I'm here, I can't believe I've done it!" I loved it, AND it was hard work. I've met some of my best friends through medical school. I've pushed my own limits and found out what I'm made of. I loved learning about the inner workings of the body, totally fascinating. Its a privilege and its difficult (for a reason!) I got the most joy when I really threw myself into things, when I was enthusiastic and said yes to new opportunities. I kept my sanity by keeping up my hobbies and friendships outside of medical school. Congratulations on getting in, hope you've got some nice plans for the summer!
@@SarahNicholls that’s so good to hear! I really appreciate the reply. Yes I’m so happy, as with you I’ve had a long journey getting into medicine but not as difficult as you. I’m starting medicine as an undergraduate at 20 years olds after having a couple tries of getting in :) I’m excited for what’s next for me, and I’m relieved to finally have gotten where I wanted to get for so long. Stumbled across your channel today and I’ve subscribed after watching a few videos! Keep it up ❤️
@@SarahNicholls i am curious if your stress and feeling aroung coping at work may be related; you are intelligent and its common as an intersection. women and girls dont get picked up or screened. there was; as an example aHM clinic that began screening clients for autism and 40% of the women and girls where autistic - they had been missdiagnosed with bpd and all sorts of other things. it would also help you know as a dr about yourself, which would help your patients
Many older doctors have told me: "kid, don't be a doctor, it's not worth it." From what I am seeing, all the tests, exams, and hoops you have to jump through, to become a doctor keep reinforcing that idea. (4 years college, 4 years medical school, 4 years residency) That's 12 years that you are losing, when in the end you might end up washing out. These pre-med students need to be informed what the job is really like, and if they do, many will drop off before they make the mistake of going to med school only to realize they hate being doctors. Helping people is great, burn out is not. When I see how many hours doctors bring down, and the overtime they have to work, it sure doesn't seem worth it. Finally, many of these older doctors have told me: "kid, if I had to apply to medical school today, I probably wouldn't have gotten in" since the standards are higher.
What about money? As a doctor myself , this would have been my first fear for quitting? How to pay those huge student loans without completing my medical training ?? At this point , i was needing to consultant salary to pay off my loans… But I totally get why you chose that…. For myself i was trapped because of loans.
@amelieveilleux3149 very good question! I have about 60k of student debt and a big mortgage so those are definitely considerations!! I have a previous video where I talk about how much I earn as a doctor and youtuber, where I talk about my locum pay. I suppose I'm in a bit of a different situation from most in that I have a business outside of my doctor work that brings me some income, but medicine has still been my main source of income for the most part.
You used to work at McDonald's. Well you could go back to that. When you are applying for the job and they ask you what your last job was you could say "I was a doctor." They would say "Excuse me?" and you would again say "I was a doctor" and they would say "You were a what?" I am just goofing around. You are a pretty, lovely lady. I think you will get it all figured out just fine. Trusting your own intuition in a deep way sounds like a good plan.
I quit residency Oct 2023 (was depressed, suicidal…etc) got a job at an insurance company. I didn’t know living life without constantly being in a fight or flight mode existed! It’s insane how relaxed and happy I am now.
It's soooo nice coming out of constant fight or flight isn't it? So sorry you had to go through such a difficult time to get to this place though. Have you seen my soft life video? Think you'll enjoy that! Hope the new work is going well for you.
❤
Oh my goodness. Much needed. I am in the US finishing internal medicine residency . As you might know this is where you apply for IM sub specialty. I feel like I just don’t want to continue on this rat race anymore. It’s been almost 12 years of post high school to get here and I can’t just give additional years of training just to get another level. I realized that life is just too short . We are not here forever. My parents are getting old and so am I . I understood that happiness actually be found in simplicity and gratitude to God . I am planning to be Locum hospitalist too . Praying about it . Appreciate you for sharing us your perspective . Stay blessed lovely lady ☦️🙏
I hope this video helped you! When I was making the decision to locum (and stay as a locum long term) I felt pretty lost. Been doing it 4 years now and I haven't looked back! I get the best parts of being a doctor and I got my life back. I know you guys in the US work even longer hours than us, so I can only imagine how tiring it must be.
Thank so much Dr Sarah for making this video. Watching this video really just validated everything I felt about stoping full time practise. Thanks for documenting your experience and help others feeling same way.
Thank you!! How are you feeling about stopping full time practise?
@@SarahNicholls I still have same feeling I felt when I decided not to practice full time. I don’t want to go back. I think being a doctor is a plus for me and it is left to me to make out of it what I want instead of following a traditional path that I don’t like.
What does dr sarah do now? Does she still work as a doctor? Maybe in private practice?
@@khairy6839 I work in the NHS on a locum basis in the Emergency Department.
Connecting to your values is so key... I took a few years away from being a consultant psychiatrist to be with my growing family , train in mindful self compassion and become a yin yoga teacher . I felt a lot of shame initially , but now I am transitioning back into clinical psychiatry these experiences make me a better doctor
Thank you for sharing this. Hopefully other people reading the comments will take inspiration from you as a consultant to see that it's not just junior doctors who need to reassess and move their career in a different direction now and then. Love that you took the time to prioritise what was important for you! ❤️
The best lesson I’ve learned in my life is to listen to ourselves. The inner signals are there alerting us that something is not right about the path we’re on. Being present with ourselves and listening to what these inner signals are alerting us to , helps us become happier and filled with more joy. It then directs a better path and a better decision, which leads to a better, happier life.
ABSOLUTELY 👏
Give yourself time. You are already a productive person. I support your decision. Things are not going well anyway in medical world nowadays. But there will definitely come a day when you will feel ready. I congratulate you for taking this difficult decision and implementing it. Not everyone is brave enough to make this decision. I wish you best,Sarah!
Proud to call you my personal Coach! What a great combination, I would agree you are utilizing your skills to the max. You are using your passion to help in a very unique way and that sets you apart, and shoud not be seen as a failure to commit to a pathway driven by the expectations of others.
LOVE working with you, Amanda! Thank you for being here ❤️
You speak so much sense and it is good to hear everything you have worked through. I will definitely be looking up that book!
Thank you! Oh, I hope you enjoy the book if you do read it. It's one of my favourites.
Hello Dr Sarah, I'm so glad you've found the path that's right for you, I'm sure a lot of healthcare workers can relate a lot to your experience😅 but I feel many of us are unsure of entering locum work, since it's different to a traditional nhs job, so I think a video on your experince with that in terms of contracts and salary would be good so we can learn about it from you ❤
Sounds like the perfect arrangement. Regular new experiences, meeting new people, chance to travel and work in other parts of the country....plus your not 'owned' by anyone and you get to chose how often you would like to work.
Thank you! Yes, it feels like the perfect arrangement for me. Its been 4 years of doing locum work now and I'm very happy!
Love this 👌
Been following you since you were in medical school. I'm glad you left. The situation is dire these days. UK Medicine is over.
It's a really difficult time to be working in the NHS for sure, and even more difficult to be a patient right now. Such a shame. Thank you for being a long time viewer!!
Finally! Amazing! Thank you
Great video Sarah, I've just started GEM at Nottingham myself. I completely understand your situation. I do locum nursing as a student now and I love the flexibility and freedom. Just wondered, have you thought about the "middle grade" route? I have met some middle grades in A&E and anaesthetics over the years and they love their job. They get the "shop floor" experience of being hands on with the patients but without the management/admin workload of a consultant. They also have fairly set shift patterns and seem to have a fairly good work/life balance. I'm considering this myself as a "latecomer" to medicine. Thank you for sharing your story and good luck going forward.
Best of luck with GEM at Nottingham! I had a great experience there. I may also be coming back there soon to do a talk, so watch this space 👀
I've definitely considered the 'middle grade' option and have decided after a lot of thought that it's not for me. If medicine was my one and only income source then I would 100% go down that route, but these days my focus is more on my business, so I'm very happy in the locum position I'm in at work.
Thank you Sarah, that would be amazing if you could come and do a talk. I will keep an eye out.
@@SarahNicholls
I have no idea who you are but you're super cool and i enjoyed this video. I've maintained for a while now that it's much more important to work on yourself, than it is to work on your career. Best of luck with your decision and future pursuits.
Thank you so much! 💓
Very brave of you making this decision and action it. I am on the way and might be in a bit different way executing it. Finishing my training hopefully soon and my plan is gradually transitioning to where I want to be after training while keeping financial health not significantly affected. It’s so encouraging to see UK grad doctor like you showed this path as a successful example. Thank you so much 😊
Thank you!! I hope it all goes well for you.
Thank you very much for sharing your experiences, and the recommended books have been very helpful to me.
Just coming across this video. I wish you the best in your new adventures. Big life decisions can be scary and unsettling. I’m glad the decision you made has given you peace. As far as the opinions of others, I appreciate those simply as a way to reveal options I may not have know about or thought of, not as directives. I can consider them and then take, leave, or modify them to keep alignment with my own vision and goals for myself. I do hope that now, 8 months later, you are thriving and joyous on your new path!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, I really appreciate it! ❤️
It's all about finding the right work environment with the right people! Changes everything
Her" things i didn't want" is the same list i made and didn't apply to med school
Thanks for sharing Dr. Sarah 🙏🏾
Imo full time work for female physicians isn’t ideal. Most women need flexibility and enough down time for our bodies to relax and heal. In addition, when we’re married +/- children the bulk of household duties and childcare generally falls on our shoulders. My solution: a 4 day work week works best for me (for now)…
I agree 100%!!
Thank you so much for sharing❤!!
I realized being a physician assistant was WAY too crazy. I went PRN and am so glad I did.
Me and my colleagues are rhinking the same. Medicine is going down hard. Horrible conditions, horrible respect. I have hated my life so many days...
So sorry to hear that 😞 things are insanely tough for healthcare professionals right now. Here for you!!
Hi dr Sarah I need advice. I’m studying the same thing, I’m a student. I like the knowledge, and I’m not really good at anything else (other majors). I have to admit I always had health anxiety and when I study these diseases etc, seeing sick people (can’t see horrible ones) i get too anxious. I tell myself, I AM helping them, maybe that’s my calling and that’s where my anxiety is coming from maybe just is there to be able to help them and feel for them, but it doesn’t sound normal compared to times where I was not studying and I am just myself, going out in the park, gym, not dealing with sad stuff all the time.
I really don’t know what to do and would really really appreciate your advice ❤
I am happy for you. You seemed stressful. Nothing is worth your health. Good luck and best wishes on your new journey.
Thank you!
Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Being a doctor is a way of life, not a job
I am a doctor from Bangladesh.Once was a dream,now i hate this profession..so energy consuming,exhausting...i just count the time when my shift will end...constantly being anxious whenver there will be a serious patient...i just want to quit..bt after 38 years of my life..i just cant switch to some else job...its not that easy😫😩now i hate my decision to be a doctor...i wish i could be something else
So sorry you're having such a tough time 😞
Admission to med school was not my choice, my family decided it I was really immature at the time that I let them ruin my entire life im still in my fourth stage seeing these experiences of you and other residents that i saw in the hospital i can't help it anymore knowing that i will suffer my whole life, the thing is i know that the thing that im dealing with right now is not going to be any better but much worse, pretty much lifeless i wish i can get out and have an alternative job but i simply can't wish i never been born. When you said u were counting the days to ur weekend im actually waiting to die
Oh my goodness, it sounds like you're really having a hard time right now, I'm so sorry. Please reach out to someone for support because it doesn't have to be this way and things can definitely get better for you.
Did you do your training over COVID because I have been traumatised after that. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for so many years. After years of therapy I have recovered and am working as a Locum.
So sorry to hear that 😕 I was doing locum work through the pandemic. I hope you're doing ok
Have you thought of GP training? you can be a great locum GP and see lots of patients (at least 30 a day!)
Yes! All through med school I wanted to be a GP, but I've come to the decision that it's not for me.
@@SarahNicholls Don't do it. the burn out is real. looking for a way out myself post cct
@@krisshan2085 so sorry to hear that 😕 so many of my friends have said the same thing. It's really sad! Hope you're doing OK.
@@SarahNicholls Thank you, I am. I just want people to know that GP is not the easy option. Was an A&E doctor for the longest time and whilst it was hard, the pressures of GP are something else entirely. I am working to fund a way out :)
@krisshan2085 yes I can totally imagine. GP looks way harder to me than A&E for so many reasons. I have the utmost respect for you guys!
Hi I’m starting med school on September. Not sure if you’ll reply but I just genuinely wanted to ask, did you enjoy medical school?
Yay congratulations!! I remember walking into medical school for the first few months thinking "I can't believe I'm here, I can't believe I've done it!" I loved it, AND it was hard work. I've met some of my best friends through medical school. I've pushed my own limits and found out what I'm made of. I loved learning about the inner workings of the body, totally fascinating. Its a privilege and its difficult (for a reason!) I got the most joy when I really threw myself into things, when I was enthusiastic and said yes to new opportunities. I kept my sanity by keeping up my hobbies and friendships outside of medical school.
Congratulations on getting in, hope you've got some nice plans for the summer!
@@SarahNicholls that’s so good to hear! I really appreciate the reply. Yes I’m so happy, as with you I’ve had a long journey getting into medicine but not as difficult as you. I’m starting medicine as an undergraduate at 20 years olds after having a couple tries of getting in :)
I’m excited for what’s next for me, and I’m relieved to finally have gotten where I wanted to get for so long.
Stumbled across your channel today and I’ve subscribed after watching a few videos! Keep it up ❤️
SO happy for you!!! Your persistence has paid off 🙏 please keep in touch, I'd love to hear how you get on.
I am a registered nurse and I would like to find something else. Healthcare is so hard long term. I am so tired and used up.
I'm so sorry. It's incredibly hard when you feel exhausted. I hope you find something that brings you joy and fulfilment!
question; have you filled an aq10 or CAT-Q ? soundsand looks likeyou may benifit from that self knowlege - do with it as you wish.
No I haven't, but genuinely curious about what makes you say that?
@@SarahNicholls i am curious if your stress and feeling aroung coping at work may be related; you are intelligent and its common as an intersection. women and girls dont get picked up or screened. there was; as an example aHM clinic that began screening clients for autism and 40% of the women and girls where autistic - they had been missdiagnosed with bpd and all sorts of other things. it would also help you know as a dr about yourself, which would help your patients
Many older doctors have told me: "kid, don't be a doctor, it's not worth it."
From what I am seeing, all the tests, exams, and hoops you have to jump through, to become a doctor keep reinforcing that idea. (4 years college, 4 years medical school, 4 years residency) That's 12 years that you are losing, when in the end you might end up washing out.
These pre-med students need to be informed what the job is really like, and if they do, many will drop off before they make the mistake of going to med school only to realize they hate being doctors. Helping people is great, burn out is not.
When I see how many hours doctors bring down, and the overtime they have to work, it sure doesn't seem worth it.
Finally, many of these older doctors have told me: "kid, if I had to apply to medical school today, I probably wouldn't have gotten in" since the standards are higher.
How is it going Dr Sarah?
Very good thanks!
What about money? As a doctor myself , this would have been my first fear for quitting? How to pay those huge student loans without completing my medical training ?? At this point , i was needing to consultant salary to pay off my loans…
But I totally get why you chose that…. For myself i was trapped because of loans.
@@SarahNicholls Your decision is a scary one but I do respect it as well.
@amelieveilleux3149 very good question! I have about 60k of student debt and a big mortgage so those are definitely considerations!! I have a previous video where I talk about how much I earn as a doctor and youtuber, where I talk about my locum pay. I suppose I'm in a bit of a different situation from most in that I have a business outside of my doctor work that brings me some income, but medicine has still been my main source of income for the most part.
Med school, residency, takes too long too expensive, and no fulfillment in the end.
So sad 😞
You used to work at McDonald's. Well you could go back to that. When you are applying for the job and they ask you what your last job was you could say "I was a doctor." They would say "Excuse me?" and you would again say "I was a doctor" and they would say "You were a what?" I am just goofing around. You are a pretty, lovely lady. I think you will get it all figured out just fine. Trusting your own intuition in a deep way sounds like a good plan.
That isn't funny
@@327tzm4 Ok I will take your word for it.
Working in McDonald's definitely gave me a good start in working under pressure!
The video that made me stop thinking about studying medicine and think about studying something I love in the long run. 💕🌸🩷