3 Positive Discipline Examples that Transform Your Relationship | SJ STRUM
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
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My Other Positive Parenting Videos:
WHAT IS GENTLE PARENTING AND POSITIVE DISCIPLINE?
• What Is Gentle Parenti...
GENTLE PARENTING FOR TODDLERS: CALM TANTRUMS AND SET LIMITS • Gentle Parenting for T...
GENTLE PARENTING ACTIVIES: • GENTLE PARENTING & ATT...
FIXING BEHAVIOUR ISSUES WITH ATTACHMENT PLAY: • How To Fix Behaviour I...
My Amazon Store Front with some books I love: www.amazon.co....
TOday's Video is about 3 Simple Positive Discipline Techniques that really transform your relationship and home to be calmer as you feel in control of discipline without raised voices or punishment and reward. We can't be perfect parents! But it's good to know some techniques especially about respectful parenting during summer holidays and montessori from the start with toddlers. Here's some examples of what to do in different situations that I hope you find interesting and useful - they are adaptable to all ages from gentle parenting a toddler through to teenagers.
Let me know if you'd like more of this type of video and what on!
SJ x
I love all of these videos! It's so important to explain the reasoning behind limits to children, so that they learn about safety and social dynamics and that you are making decisions out of love, rather than a "because I said so" approach or just to be mean. Taking time to cool down before discussing an emotional topic is so important for adults too! My husband is way better at it than me, but I'm learning! Thanks for another great video and looking forward to more of these! xx
Heather Power I find this approach is way more for me than the kids!! It’s so helpful just to have a stored plan on how to deal calmly vs react in the moment xxx
Really loved this video and appreciated the examples. I've never really thought about my parenting style but this has motivated me to have a think and look at where I can add in more love. Thank you SJ
Ah thanks for watching Louise! I bet you're quite naturally like this but I do love having a few phrases and techniques up my sleeve; some things I've read about it are like lightbulbs!! xxx
You really did a great job explaining this, I love the idea of explaining with empathy and logic. I have a toddler and we parent this way, but I think it is important to remember in stressful situations to really convey to them that you're on their side, I am definitely getting better about it. Sometimes I definitely must seem just irked instead of just being bummed for him that his activity has had to be ended!
Also, love that dress!
E P yes it works so well!!! It’s so funny how one little thing makes a massive difference to how the situation goes xx
Your videos are so helpful! Thank so much, you’re lovely!
Thank you.
I absolutely love this video! I love that you give us examples of the children actually being naughty, to put things in perspective aside the Montessori rules.
I love the way you are bringing up your children and the dynamic in your family.
Thank you for sharing this with us :)
noPity ah thank you! Yeah there’s always things happening with three kids!! 😂😂
@@SJ_Strum i just love examples as I'm not that good at identifying the problem, so they are very useful. Looking forward to more of these videos :) if you can do one with books you've read and you recommend please, that would be amazing! ❤
More of this type of videos please! So many good ideas!
MaMa Manda ah so glad you liked it! I’m going to try and do one a week as I’m doing some Montessori play at home too xx
Loving your videos, could you please done relating to toddlers that don't have much understanding on talk, alot of the positive discipline/ parenting vids mention to explain " ..." To the child but what if the child doesn't understand as they are young? Mine is 1 and half and I'm not sure what to do when he has a tantrum or wants to climb the kitchen table etc and he will go bonkers when told he can't do that
I am new to your channel, and have loved everything I have learned so far! I have twins who are almost 3, and cannot wait to start implementing these methods, I hope it isn't too late! I am struggling with keeping them from doing unsafe things like wandering off, or going near the streets and everything I do now basically makes them want to do it more of course!
Your GP vids are so good SJ, lots of reminders for me that are timed just right with this summer hols starting for my 3 girls. Thank you! Xx
Thanks!!!!
I naturally do this with my kids. I have 4 and people are always surprised at how well they all get on and enjoy each other’s company. Oldest is only 9, so hopefully it continues 😊
gemma Fern ah it’s the nicest when they all get on so well xxxx
You’re such a good mum! I wish more mothers practiced this ❤️
Ahh it's something I love to practise but don't manage all the time!! x
Could you put your positive discipline and gentle parenting videos in a playlist please? I think they would be great videos for my sister to watch and I'd love to send her a link to them all in one place :)
Erin Desirae yes I will do xx
Erin Desirae links are there now xx
@@SJ_Strum thanks SJ! ❤
Love your dress! Thanks for the video friend! Wish I could give you a hug 😁
Kirsten Mattson ahhh thank you xxxx
Watching you and your family is my relief therapy after a long day 😘😘😘
Ah thank you Lolli Pop xx
I love this so much. It’s our job to stay calm as parents, even when it’s hard! I try and remind myself when my toddler is testing me, that he’s not trying to give me a hard time, he’s having a hard time!
HelloSamGoodbye so true xx
Very useful. Ill be working on these myself every day x
TheBearandBerry so glad you found it useful: it’s definitely a work in practise but always works! X
Love this! So many good ideas! Quick name advice: Are Mariposa & Rosa too similar for sisters? Thank you x
Madison Johnson they are very matching but some people like that? I prefer Mariposa and Rose with the matching os sound more or mariposa and posie taking the po xx
@@SJ_Strum thank you so much x
Great video SJ!
Jenna Crowther thanks Jenna xx
Check out your rufffffles!
I know! haha! I've got this for a panel I'm on next month but love it! next video I have a bowtie - no joke - ha ha ha! xxxx
Love, love, love this SJ. 😘 Xx
Ah thanks Clare xxx
You look so beautiful in that dress! 😍
aw thanks amy!! xxx
Love this style of video so much! Definitely keen to see more gentle parenting from you 💕
Ah that's great to know thanks so much x
Number 2- give a warning before asking the children to leave the pool
Yes definitely! x
This is amazing! More of this please :)
How would you handle your toddler running off? My little girl has always responded so well to positive parenting but the other day she ran off in the supermarket and none of my usually phrases worked, I felt completely out of my depth and I gave her a stern telling off but there must be a better way. Any tips? 😘 x
Becky T oh Becky Evelina just went through this stage and I just naturally raised my voice as I was terrified! She got super upset though when she got told off - I think sometimes it’s good to go against type when it’s that serious. She was so surprised I got angry she was really crying but then she knew. Then what I started doing was just avoiding the situations where it would happen: so she was actually opening the front door and going out!!!!!!!! It was so awful so obviously now we always triple lock the door and if she pulls away from me when we’re out I realised now she’s just getting more confidence and remembers where things like her snacks are in the shop - I think practising those independent ideas helps like giving her her own shopping basket or she has her own pretend door key to lock the door when we get home with a gruffalo keyring so she feels she’s taken part. Girls are so independent!!!!!! It’s all new to me 😂😂
Ahh thank you. I hadn’t thought about it being an independence thing, I will try and let her navigate more and see if that helps. It’s so frustrating when they’ve been little angels 🤣 x
omg i know! It's hard to adapt to their new behaviour as evelina didn't leave my side ever! She's also got her own little wheelie bag for out in town that slows her down! xx@@beckyt8698
I find if I raise my voice it just makes everything worse! Walking away is definitely better than trying to argue it out, neither of my children like it. My main struggle is when my 8 year old enjoys annoying my 4 year old. How do i fix it?!
mrneonet omg I’m in the exact same situation! I had to tell my older son that his words were just as wrong as hitting/punching as I don’t think they realise when they move up to that more “wind up’ stage / but he did get it when I said a word is as bad as a punch and would he ever hit his brother?! He seemed to understand then so might work. And we just practise tip 3 of walking away for the little one xxx
Do you have the Amazon list of parenting books please? We also follow gentle parenting and some Montessori techniques. I'm currently reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn.
Oh that sounds great I'll buy it - I've added the link to the description box xx
Hannah Wilkie I love How to Talk so Little Kids will Listen
@@hellosamgoodbye6369 I've got that one too
Hi SJ I love all your videos!
How do you uncle when you’re kids hit each other?
What if they refuse to get out of the pool 😰
Oh I found another of your videos about that 😄👌🏻👌🏻
I’m really interested in this method of parenting and you seem to have it sussed. You talk a lot about you and the kids and I just wondered if you husband is equally on board with it?
Yes he's really on board with it - we have our own discussions at times but to be really honest I do find discipline defaults to me a lot as he works such long days but he's naturally really playful and will always listen if I want to approach a problem more gently. xx
SJ Strum that’s great to hear. Discipline definitely works better when both parents tackle it the same way. I really admire the fact that you want to give your kids ways to deal with problems and tackle them in a gentle way! I’m a granny now and I definitely think my son and daughter in law will be following a similar method as they are both lovely parents to my grandson 💕
Hi SJ
We’ve recently moved into a new house/area with my parents, we are building them a house in the meantime we are all living together. It’s been fine apart from my three year olds behaviour seems to have deteriorated. He’s been hitting/standing on my parents dog which he thinks is hilarious and generally not listening. I don’t like to give him lots of attention for doing this but obviously due to safety (his and the dogs!) we have tried to address it. After lots of different attempts to stop this behaviour we are currently giving the dog lots of sympathy if there’s any attempt at kicking etc but this hasn’t stopped the behaviour. He’s had lots of changes recently as mentioned above and don’t want to be a shouty mum but feel fed up with it today! Do you have any suggestions? Thank you
harper0886 ah it sounds so tough; maybe from the book I read called Attachment Play it sounds like a power thing perhaps? So it may be all the changes have made him feel a bit powerless in his own world? The book has loads of play ideas to solve behaviour - I’ve linked my amazon list and it’s in there. So I imagine the play technique would be about playing dogs with him everyday for half an hour or whatever time you have and you being the dog so he’s in power and acting out how you play fetch and how nice it is when he uses gentle hands and you bark and give him loads of love and cuddles and giving him that power status over you and his world again through play. It might be weird 😂😂 but toys work too if you don’t love the idea of role play; the book is amazing and I learnt from it that all aggression is basically power and that play is the best way to teach the new behaviour when nothing else works. It has sections on moving etc. Let me know; at least you get to roll around and cuddle but the power bit is the important piece of the puzzle in the game. Making him the dog would confirm he’s not in control if that makes sense? Xx
I wish my parents didn’t tell me to grow up and do everything on my own. I wish my parents didn’t tell me to shut up and stop crying, I wish my parents didn’t blame the failure of their marriage on me and my siblings, I wish my parents didn’t take their anger out on me, I wish my parents didn’t make me grow up having emotional baggage because I’m too scared to tell them how I feel. Can you be my mom?
Ahhh Mayya I'm so sorry you've had a hard time with your parents; the very fact you've watched this video shows you naturally have so much empathy and capacity for being gentle and kind. So feel proud of yourself and know you'll never make those same mistakes. One day you'll create your own family and it will be the most lovely place - and open up to friends, we can't control how other people act but we can control our reactions and we can choose to be a new version that the one other people created. Maybe you're supposed to be the one to spread that positivity around the family xxx
SJ Strum Thank you so much SJ, it really means a lot to me, I’m so glad that people like you exist, people who are caring and kind and gentle because you are teaching your kids how to be good people while spreading love and advice to other future parents on how to do the same!
This video is so inspiring!! My name is annaliese which I think Is very unusual, could you please use it in a baby name mondayyy❤️❤️❤️
Anna Hicking oh I definitely have before!!! I love it!
Hi I bet u won't pin this comment!
Harry Potter video coming Monday! x
@@SJ_Strum yaaaaaaay I am so exited for that video
These are my favourite videos of yours to watch! If you don't already, follow mellowmama on instagram. You'll love her!
Lucy Alpin ah yes I love her!! She so gorgeous too 😍😍 looks like a movie star!
practiced discipline with patience becomes so powerful that our efforts starts shining light upon the results which were earlier hard to even see!:)
You are such a great mum ❤️ thank you for sharing
Sometimes I worry I’m not always clever enough to come up with ways to give my son solutions to choose from :( B. But thank u for inspiration and motivation to stay on track and not fly off the handle
Claire Willow me neither!!! It’s just trial and error and I make the worst mistakes and think - well that was a shocker 😂😂 it’s so good just when one time it works and then it becomes practise x
Love this so useful..the paddling pool example was useful however I feel my 4 year old would just refuse to leave the pool at all even when I asked as a consequence 😂 what would you do then? the last tip is a fantastic life lesson to learn too thanks sj x
Kate Reece it’s tough isn’t it when they’re stubborn and Freddie is the most stubborn and does a thing where he refuses to walk anymore!! I read it’s hard to move them on without replacing the activity for some kids: so maybe pool time is over let’s have a snack/read a book now then when they’ve calmed down you can go back to talking about the pool and why that ended so they don’t forget it was a consequence. Or probably if if was Freddie; he sometimes refuses to get out of the bath for bedtime - I take out all the toys and drain the bath and just sit quietly holding his towel and not engaging in his behaviour and eventually he’ll give in and get out but in a bad mood then we move onto something nice like a story. I think it’s important it’s a consequence not a punishment so we don’t need to overhash making them feel bad xx
This is so inspiring how you parent and treat your kids. We should all try and use those tips. Thank you💗
And you should really write a book I would buy it in a heartbeat.
Julia Katharina ah thanks Julia; these three help so much to calm down my days. They’re not my ideas at all but I love reading and sharing xxx
Thank you so much for sharing this! Love this approach xxx
Heather johnson ah thank you heather x
Hi, can you post the links to the other videos you mentioned on this topic?
Group 25 Squared online yes I willl do now xxx
Love all three of these SJ. Sent them to my husband (as I have with most of not all of you PD vids - we love them).
Great video sweetie xxx
Holly Leila Byles ahhh let me know what he thinks!!! Someone should do gentle parenting for dads as I bet they feel slightly differently from us at times x
SJ Strum he really enjoyed it!
I just tried to write ‘this was our favourite point...’ but we actually found them all helpful!
I’m looking forward to the other videos you mentioned too!
This may be too specific, but I would love to hear about how these (and your previous) tips work practically with your different ages children. Mine are only 4 and 2.5 at the moment, and when I think about how gentle parenting methods work for my 2.5 year old Reuben it’s obviously really different to how they work for a nine year old or even my 4 year old Evelyn.
Anyway, thanks again. Hope the summer holidays are going well for you so far!
If I ever do bump into you around Surrey, I will definitely do the slightly awkward ‘I watch your UA-cam channel!’ greeting ☺️ xx
These methods are great. Thank you!
E Wells ah good thanks so much xx
Love this video! Please do more of these x
Ah I"'m glad you like them!! I've got a few more lined up xx
Would love to see more of these videos! X
Thanks Holly I've got 3 more planned xx
Can’t wait!😍xx