I think this works for emotionally mature men. They want to do things for a woman. I have a wonderful boyfriend who gives me security, support and makes me feel safe. In a past relationship, however, the man did not want to provide these things. He resented it and I ended up having to do it all. I totally gave up on men for 2 1/2 years and I was very happy. I didn’t see the benefit of a man in my life because in the past men only brought me down. I decided to give dating a chance again and I met my boyfriend. My boyfriend enhances my life and I’m very happy with him.
I was disappointed when I was pregnant that a man didn’t offer me a seat on the bus or train. I thought wow what happened to social graces. Women are more vulnerable when they are pregnant…
The shitty mother he had didn't teach him anything about women's value in this world. We are full of those women who just have children but they do not educate them!
when John said "help me understand that better", "tell me more", "what else?" I felt better and I'm only listening to this while doing house chores, I'm not talking to John or anyone ...powerful phrases indeed
We have been so accustomed to be an independent because the person we relied on abandon us or let us down and when that happens you just think this is another person wanting something from you and they’re gonna let you down.
I asked my ex many times for advice or help. He flat out refused. Now what? I broke up with him. He was devastated, wanted to keep the benefits without giving anything back ( we talked openly, he asked why I can’t just settle). What is wrong with such a man? He is almost 40 and a mama and papas boy.
Seems like not the right guy. Once you heal learn to vet better, and go for the one that WANTS to give to you. Don’t entertain any man that you see doesn’t
It’s funny Michelle mentioned allowing a man to put your heavy luggage in the overhead bin. I will never forget asking a man on the plane O got on, he was sitting near me. I had made a point to be more open to speaking to men while traveling…you never know! This man was alone and so I asked, “would you mind helping with my luggage in the bin?” He responded to ask the flight attendant! Doesn’t always work! I did it myself!!Many men don’t care to help!
He told you clearly that he wasn't attracted to you. Men aren't stupid, and many aren't helpful UNLESS they want you. I've learned this sadly as I age and became disabled. When I was young, gorgeous and able bodied, they fought each other to help me. Now, they don't. Many men don't like women at all. They "help" only if they want to f*ck you.
I have been stranded- needed help and 2 guys (one who I considered a good friend) basically laughed and said they would only if I paid them. I ended up walking. I now have AAA.
this good woman was 2.5 hours doing the interview...I hope they had a break...it's a long interview and John can talk for days. I love John's wisdom by the way. Kudos to this host for letting him speak.
This is the kind of man I'm looking for; a guy who is looking and wanting to do things for me . A guy looking for a partnership. I'm 35 and haven't been married. Hopefully the wait will pay off lol ❤
It will...finally found mine at 65 but u won't have to wait that long, don't compromise, there are good men out there that are looking for good women as well.
I got married to my husband when I was 36. I am 37 now :) He is a masculine man. He loves to do things for me. We actually met 10 years ago in school and was together for 3 years but I could tell back then that he wasn’t ready for what I wanted and needed and now he is and now we are happily married. ❤️ He knew that I will be his again. So did I. You will find your soulmate as well ❤️
Clarifying/Defining the term "need" is extremely pertinent during this conversation since it can be taken in different context. My Korean mom taught me when I was a young girl that I "want" a man, not "need" a man, and I know what she meant. It's not a dependency perspective in the sense of working, money, being able to achieve, getting things done, etc.
I don’t know the stuff about rewarding him for cleaning up his shirts. I feel like I would be very sexually turned off by this. Like, this is how I am with my three male children, teaching them how to clean the house with me. Rewarding them and praising them for their efforts, and asking them to observe how the room feels now that it is clean. Some of the advice here is solid, but I feel some of it is very mother/ child dynamic.
I was depending on my husband and got heavily dissapointed. I had to start all over again. My life is so much better now. I can make myself a healthy satisfying meal. Who needs desert?!
This only works if the man scores high on agreableness and eager to please. Men who are low on agreableness and are not enjoying to please someone else ( genuinly ), will only pretend in the beginning 'to manipulating you and catch you'. After they have you, they will do less and less things to please you, make you happy. Distinguishing is key between this 2 types of men. Of course, men in the first category can change, if the woman has negative traits, humiliating, opressive, critical, put him down, passive aggressive, overly aggressive, manipulative, lying, gaslighting, using harsh language and faul language, untruthful, not genuine, selfcentered, etc, etc. Even a good man can turn into someone in category 2 or worse.
I've struggled throughout life, because my mother strictly embedded the edict, "those who ask, don't get" into my psyche. I'm 66 and still struggle to overcome this, which is proving very difficult as I've just entered into a new relationship. Thank you both for yet another wonderful advisory discussion.
Bringing flowers to a woman is a huge estrogen boost for her. I wish more men would do that. My boyfriend sees it as a waste of money. 😂 I’ll use John’s phrase, that “it would just make me so happy” to see if that helps. 🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺 He texts me photos of flowers in his neighborhood which is very sweet and I do thank him. His exwife didn’t like getting flowers.
If he thought it was a waste of money he would buy potted flowers. He just doesn't want to do it! Don't thank him for photos of flowers in the neighbourhood. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, romance yourself, dress yourself to feel pretty, show him and dump his ass!
3 місяці тому+2
I can understand why he thinks they’re a waste of money! His ex didn’t like them so yes that makes sense…a waste of money…but most of all a waste of his love. He needs to heal from that
I bet his ex wanted flowers and you are hearing his excuse for being a cheap ass. Dump him. Tell him sex is a waste of time. As is supper, laundry, etc.
UPDATE - Oct 2024 - We broke up in July. I too am moving on to someone who is less Avoidant. Divorce makes everyone more Avoidant, and it takes time and effort to heal. He left to “play the field”. 😂
That is because women pushed themselves into the workplace under the banner of equality. Fine. Now your in the office. Great. There are more women in medical and Law School than men. Men just don't want to have to compete with women.. We have our hands full already with other men. I will never stop opening a door for a lady (any age). What your comment is really saying is men are no good, we don't WANT to provide. Well, that's right. Why should we work hard to provide when it is never gonna be enough. No man will ever measure up to be your Daddy. Different time, different age. If you have listened to this interview then you heard him say that men and woman are very different. But you seem to insist that we should be mind readers, providers and better that you. Go have you job until your 40 years old but when you start feeling like you now want childred, Get out the turkey baster out cause there are plenty of men over 45 that are being chased by 29 year old women....
I am sorry, you're right in SOME situations. Just like a woman isn't a great cook in the kitchen and a porn star in the bedroom. So let's not talk in generalities. There are WONDERFUL women and MEN will NEVER stop wanting them. But if you expect to be pampered and for a man to take care of you then be willing to accept the humble Janitor just as much as you want a corporate CEO with money. Basically, if you love a man and he loves you and he takes care of every one of your needs to the best of his ability, consider your self very fortunate. Because he's doing the best he can for you and you know that is a turn on. But when you look over your shoulder at some bad boy because that turns you on for 30 mins. Then who is to blame.? Much respect to you... I thank God he made women.
@@wallynowacki6704 why are you chasing the woman who left you for the bad boy? is the bad boy younger than you? is not balding/has hair, is fit/no belly, lasts longer in bed? There must be something the bad boy has that you don't. Why are you having sex with this woman that doesn't love you? Why don't you grow a spine and respect yourself?
I think that's one of the reasons why i have always stuck with studying Vedic astrology... it might sound unrelated but in fact it's real science of how the energies function ! I am a Mars-dominant woman, and my Mars is in a sign that's governed by Venus... talk about having one's brain twisted in relationships !!! There is: how things work in nature, the big Laws if you will, regarding oestrogens and testosterone etc. As John talks so very wisely about and i'm so grateful for being a match to his knowledge, i just can't get enough of his knowledge of the Laws of the natural world... But then there is what you have been given !! Your personal internal alchemy... that's where relationships become an art and a science for most people, because not every woman was born with strong Venus influences, nor all men with strong Sun or Mars influences... and i'm even not speaking of the traumas we get on the road !!! So it's a deep and patient work to get to know all the subtle details of all of this... i'm 37 and still feel that i don't get the meat of it 😅😂
yes,i have dealing now a highiest potential he asked me wants to sleep with him but i said no ,i have any experience i give this to my future husband after marriage, and he said you are old values now is a new generation now, thats who am don't do that i protect my dignity , that who am i now he block me no contact, but now i'm go healing now❤❤ thanks GOD to protect/guided me to the tight path❤❤
fantastic you protcted yourself, if he treated you like that he would have gotten sex, used you and left you, he was never interested in you, he was interested in using you to please himself. I want to celebrate your courage and actions, bravo!!!
Good, he moved out of the way for a respectful man of integrity to come into your life to value and cherish you. This Casanova did you a favor by showing you his true self.
I feel relief and contentment hearing Mr John Gray say and explain my feelings and needs and some connections with them.Thank you. How to get men interested without suggesting this though? How do I nudge/inspire a man to find out about online blind-dating, the woman and the man, when a positive change /development is crucial for my willingness to go out with him?. And won't I be manipulative, fake and mechanical if using these methods and phrases. I should like everybody to hear this good talk.Even thogh I don't agree with everything. And Michelle is so nice too.
It’s really interesting that Dr Gray mentions that we have to consciously make an effort to keep our estrogen levels high as we age, especially after menopause. That we have more control over these hormones than we think, mentally.
How much of this still applies to men these days I wonder…? I am well aware I’d be happier with a man. Men want to take, not give these days. They’re either selfish or insecure or both. I’m premenopausal and I KNOW I NEED A MAN.
I love these conversations! I started seeing a guy a few months ago. He’s been a completely different experience than anyone I’ve ever had a relationship with in the past, but I couldn’t put my finger on why It’s because he has a healthy testosterone level, he is very masculine! It’s great and we’re having so much fun! My ex husband and I were together 7 years, but he was asexual and I had to leave. He was my best friend, is still my best friend. But I’ve noticed even with dating in the past, my pulling away when they get too open and emotional. This was an interesting observation about myself this week
I'm enjoying listening to you. Even at my age which is 67 I'm getting married again. I still need to know more about men. I want to know how I can learn more about my partner, because communication is a must. Thank You
So if a woman has gone through menopause, does the estrogen still increase? And why are men of ages 55 and above so apathetic? They seem to not put effort into relationships.
I listened to john and my man bought me dinner, 3 desserts ( gave me choices)😜 and money 😊🎉 Most imp made me happiest girl in the world ❤ladies be wise use this to ur advantage
I wish I knew how to make my ex feel love for Me He couldn’t have deeper feelings for Me I believe I was a good girlfriend Problems were His lack of consideration, affection Lack of consistency I did not feel safe He did not fulfil my needs. He didn’t seem interested in trying to I tried to be patient and accepting but that meant giving up my needs How could I accept a Man who didn’t respect or value Me I want all The things John mentioned
39:13 i'm commenting along as i'm watching the interview...😅 but here, i think it's not an addiction problem... The porn addiction is the symptom of a deeper issue, which is when the person enters a relationship on a inauthentic basis... pretending, for instance, to want to be monogamous, when in fact, they'd prefer being with different women and need variety... they just abandon themselves, assuming that if they state what they prefer, they will be rejected and left alone... so they try to comply... but after a few months or years, their true nature resurfaces, because you can't un-want what you want, you can't un-desire what you desire for long...
Genuine question rather than a bash: So... we need to ask for help, but when friends ask us for help, we say, "i'd love to, but I can't." If all our friends also do the same thing, who is going to help anyone? Genuinely confused whenever these kinds of advice are given.
Thank you both, - Michelle, what a wonderful, beautiful listener! Whata woman to be able to hold hereslf back and let him speak, even though she has things to say too. I want money to take a course.
Some comments about the ideas here not working- I believe that you have to start out with 2 emotionally healthy people and limited selfishness. Everyone has bad days. It's not going to work well all the time.
You’ve been reading my mind again haven’t you lovely voice I’m full of happiness but it’s so hard to no where to direct it with a crazy adhd mind now I’m sober it’s crazy arse x a million so peace to me is the most important thing to me thank you xx
My mew job i was a victim of a character assassination she is in relapse mode n a nasty woman who is unable to affect mu integrity. I'm going to seek another part time job.they à clique.I AM LIVING in the process of being transformation from my heart ♥ thru the holy spirit.
I love the smells of my husband, how he hugs me so I can feel safe in his strong arms, when he lays next to me in bed and even when he blames the ghost for farting 🤣 😅❤ 🥴
My narcissistic ex was slave driving me, super critical of everything I did to the point I collapsed making oatmeal 🥣 one morning. I had never experienced anything like it, and I hope not to ever again. I have a psychology degree practically now from all the research I did just to make sense of it all. I wish I could find true love from a man, and I feel like my life would be so much better with a man in my life ❤.
Men, want to provide and protect. A typical story is when a man loves a woman and he is doing anything to please her and be wanted. But, instead, she goes for the bad boy Jimmy Dean, Brad Pitt, most rappers. When she is pregnant and the bad boy wont reply to calls and texts. She goes running to the guy who wanted her in the first place and using her feminity ways gets him to protect her. But when the next bad guy comes along and she is stable. Bye! It;s classic. But hard to hear, isnt it ladies.... I love and respect woman but that will bet me no where. A gentleman will hold her coat while she kisses the bad boy, sometimes right in front of him....
no, there are women out there looking for good men. Good men do not have to be doormats, if she's pregnant with the bad boy why do you have to take care of her? Don't be a doormat, she made her choice. Is she's giving you sex to get protection then you are getting sex. Don't have sex with her. You need to grow a spine and control your sexual impulses because they are your weakness. Don't be a doormat and don't give sex to women who don't love you. You're going after the young woman who doesn't love you, many old men think young women are physically attracted to old men, it's never the case. Why a young woman, fertile, firm and fresh would settle for an old fart? Only if she is after his money, security or passport. Old men think they can have young women in love with them, young women are after the old man's resources. Why a young woman would prefer an old man. balding, with a belly and thousands of annoying calcified habits? She will always prefer the fit, young man with hair and energy. What do you have to offer (besides you paying her bills) that the young guy can't? You have unrealistic expectations by thinking that young women love older men and at the same time you are rejecting women your age and God forbids slightly older than you. So Life is giving you the payback you deserve by having this young woman you want, reject you. Why don't you aim for a woman your age? She may not look fresh and firm but chances are she's mentally and emotionally mature and has resources to pay for herself and if she's with you it's not because of your money.
28:03 that's not because "she got it", unfortunately... it's because she probably had enmeshment trauma and now she'd rather suffer in silence and do it herself than having once again to "pay" for being vulnerable, like having someone saying to her "ok, i'll do that for you but i'll take advantage of your vulnerability in the meanwhile and take more than my pleasure of "seeing you being happy" "... That's a thing that had a huge impact on women for centuries, which is why at some point women were so enraged and felt the need to create a feminist movement... they want to be vulnerable without it meaning having strings attached all over, being controled and having their creative power taken from her against their will... "Ok, be vulnerable, but i'll take what I want from you in exchange", it has always been an unfair and unhealthy thing and will continue to be... how can we call that, compensation or something...? It's like: ok you be vulnerable but abandon your barriers or i will leave you alone with all of it .. that's a real thing... And for most women today who suffer this, it's ancestral trauma in their genes, it's not even theirs from their present lifetime... it comes from great great grandmothers sometimes... when being exiled from the tribe was equal to a death sentence, because there was no other village for miles around for you to reach out to... Why do you think village girls like me were so obsessed with going to the big city eh ? 😂 those desires are reminiscence... And it needs to be adressed or it just continues along the generations... fortunately it can be healed through somatic therapies. God bless who created them !!!
But you’re saying any man no this is not right there has to be some sort of chemistry there first for a woman to want this man and usually a mature woman knows know what they want. Not a really young woman but at the young age it’s good they’re give-and-take but at that age but you know age 30 it has to be like a chemistry and then she can proceed and then you know find a man or whatever but you’re like saying any man or you know a man no no not just a man and she doesn’t have to have a man because she, you’re just because she works or whatever just because she needs one it has to be chemistry. You know you can’t just go out and get a man no it doesn’t work that way.
About women asking for help. How it supposed to raise the man's testosterone. I understand all that but I'm a 39 year old woman married 13 years. So I'm actually not speaking for myself but I hear a lot of my friends and or online their man gets an attitude or gets annoyed with them. Can you help us understand that? Why would these men be getting annoyed if they should be feel like they're saving us?
You both talking about asking him to do little things reminds me of 'The Princess Bride' She even asks him to take down a jug hanging right by her hand, and thats how he falls in love with her, I get it now, thank you 😅
This ,an took off on a rabbit trail, instead of answering about the porn problem in a marriage,which runs most women,and they can no longer trust the husband.and actually turns a woman angest men!
**Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/gift &
**FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
Dedication and loyalty agreed!
Communication is important too.
Great points on how his wife manipulated him. WOW 😂😂
You should visit how to connect after trauma! Now that’s difficult!
😊😊
I think this works for emotionally mature men. They want to do things for a woman. I have a wonderful boyfriend who gives me security, support and makes me feel safe. In a past relationship, however, the man did not want to provide these things. He resented it and I ended up having to do it all. I totally gave up on men for 2 1/2 years and I was very happy. I didn’t see the benefit of a man in my life because in the past men only brought me down. I decided to give dating a chance again and I met my boyfriend. My boyfriend enhances my life and I’m very happy with him.
I was disappointed when I was pregnant that a man didn’t offer me a seat on the bus or train. I thought wow what happened to social graces. Women are more vulnerable when they are pregnant…
Lack of manners being taught in the home
The shitty mother he had didn't teach him anything about women's value in this world. We are full of those women who just have children but they do not educate them!
Thanks to womens lib
Men aren't men anymore.
We have told men that women are the exact same of them for 50 years. They have been told to look at women as men.
People need to be faithful to their spouse--observant, kind and loving.
when John said "help me understand that better", "tell me more", "what else?" I felt better and I'm only listening to this while doing house chores, I'm not talking to John or anyone ...powerful phrases indeed
We have been so accustomed to be an independent because the person we relied on abandon us or let us down and when that happens you just think this is another person wanting something from you and they’re gonna let you down.
I have found that saying grace and holding hands, before a meal, creates a bond.
I asked my ex many times for advice or help. He flat out refused. Now what? I broke up with him. He was devastated, wanted to keep the benefits without giving anything back ( we talked openly, he asked why I can’t just settle). What is wrong with such a man? He is almost 40 and a mama and papas boy.
Sorry that didn't work out and hope you find someone who has more to give to you. Thanks for watching!
Seems like not the right guy. Once you heal learn to vet better, and go for the one that WANTS to give to you. Don’t entertain any man that you see doesn’t
He definitely doesn’t have that emotional intelligence to be in an equal partnership.
sorry this is happening. Now you can write the handbook on how to spot a manchild miles away. So you can vet the next men you meet.
Girl are we dating the same man 😭
It’s funny Michelle mentioned allowing a man to put your heavy luggage in the overhead bin. I will never forget asking a man on the plane O got on, he was sitting near me. I had made a point to be more open to speaking to men while traveling…you never know! This man was alone and so I asked, “would you mind helping with my luggage in the bin?” He responded to ask the flight attendant! Doesn’t always work! I did it myself!!Many men don’t care to help!
That's too bad because so many men are so happy to help! :-) Thanks for watching!
Maybe he had a back ailment!
He told you clearly that he wasn't attracted to you. Men aren't stupid, and many aren't helpful UNLESS they want you. I've learned this sadly as I age and became disabled. When I was young, gorgeous and able bodied, they fought each other to help me. Now, they don't. Many men don't like women at all. They "help" only if they want to f*ck you.
I have been stranded- needed help and 2 guys (one who I considered a good friend) basically laughed and said they would only if I paid them. I ended up walking. I now have AAA.
@@Powerskaty That is because they do not want to do it for all women! the same way you don't give sex or affection to all men!
this good woman was 2.5 hours doing the interview...I hope they had a break...it's a long interview and John can talk for days. I love John's wisdom by the way. Kudos to this host for letting him speak.
This is the kind of man I'm looking for; a guy who is looking and wanting to do things for me . A guy looking for a partnership. I'm 35 and haven't been married. Hopefully the wait will pay off lol ❤
It will...finally found mine at 65 but u won't have to wait that long, don't compromise, there are good men out there that are looking for good women as well.
@@cal-tex3584 thanks for the encouragement 🙏
I got married to my husband when I was 36. I am 37 now :) He is a masculine man. He loves to do things for me. We actually met 10 years ago in school and was together for 3 years but I could tell back then that he wasn’t ready for what I wanted and needed and now he is and now we are happily married. ❤️ He knew that I will be his again. So did I.
You will find your soulmate as well ❤️
Don't forget to do for him aswell.
@@Brianboru-k8y Of course. :) That’s important as well :) He always says that we are perfect for each other.
Clarifying/Defining the term "need" is extremely pertinent during this conversation since it can be taken in different context. My Korean mom taught me when I was a young girl that I "want" a man, not "need" a man, and I know what she meant. It's not a dependency perspective in the sense of working, money, being able to achieve, getting things done, etc.
😢😢
I don’t know the stuff about rewarding him for cleaning up his shirts. I feel like I would be very sexually turned off by this. Like, this is how I am with my three male children, teaching them how to clean the house with me. Rewarding them and praising them for their efforts, and asking them to observe how the room feels now that it is clean. Some of the advice here is solid, but I feel some of it is very mother/ child dynamic.
Great insights, I discovered how much we bonded when we started praying together. Part of his discipline for us and makes me soooo happy
I was depending on my husband and got heavily dissapointed. I had to start all over again. My life is so much better now. I can make myself a healthy satisfying meal. Who needs desert?!
This is true for many women.
Loyalty, honesty and respect.
This only works if the man scores high on agreableness and eager to please.
Men who are low on agreableness and are not enjoying to please someone else ( genuinly ), will only pretend in the beginning 'to manipulating you and catch you'.
After they have you, they will do less and less things to please you, make you happy.
Distinguishing is key between this 2 types of men.
Of course, men in the first category can change, if the woman has negative traits, humiliating, opressive, critical, put him down, passive aggressive, overly aggressive, manipulative, lying, gaslighting, using harsh language and faul language, untruthful, not genuine, selfcentered, etc, etc.
Even a good man can turn into someone in category 2 or worse.
I've struggled throughout life, because my mother strictly embedded the edict, "those who ask, don't get" into my psyche. I'm 66 and still struggle to overcome this, which is proving very difficult as I've just entered into a new relationship.
Thank you both for yet another wonderful advisory discussion.
Bringing flowers to a woman is a huge estrogen boost for her. I wish more men would do that. My boyfriend sees it as a waste of money. 😂 I’ll use John’s phrase, that “it would just make me so happy” to see if that helps. 🌸🌺🌸🌺🌸🌺 He texts me photos of flowers in his neighborhood which is very sweet and I do thank him. His exwife didn’t like getting flowers.
If he thought it was a waste of money he would buy potted flowers.
He just doesn't want to do it!
Don't thank him for photos of flowers in the neighbourhood. Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, romance yourself, dress yourself to feel pretty, show him and dump his ass!
I can understand why he thinks they’re a waste of money! His ex didn’t like them so yes that makes sense…a waste of money…but most of all a waste of his love.
He needs to heal from that
Don't thank him for the photos. He's basically saying buying flowers is a waste of money ON YOU... you are NOT his ex wife
I bet his ex wanted flowers and you are hearing his excuse for being a cheap ass. Dump him. Tell him sex is a waste of time. As is supper, laundry, etc.
UPDATE - Oct 2024 - We broke up in July. I too am moving on to someone who is less Avoidant. Divorce makes everyone more Avoidant, and it takes time and effort to heal. He left to “play the field”. 😂
Men don’t seem to WANT to be providers either. A woman MUST make money these days, even if she’d rather not worry about it.
That is because women pushed themselves into the workplace under the banner of equality. Fine. Now your in the office. Great. There are more women in medical and Law School than men. Men just don't want to have to compete with women.. We have our hands full already with other men. I will never stop opening a door for a lady (any age). What your comment is really saying is men are no good, we don't WANT to provide. Well, that's right. Why should we work hard to provide when it is never gonna be enough. No man will ever measure up to be your Daddy. Different time, different age. If you have listened to this interview then you heard him say that men and woman are very different. But you seem to insist that we should be mind readers, providers and better that you. Go have you job until your 40 years old but when you start feeling like you now want childred, Get out the turkey baster out cause there are plenty of men over 45 that are being chased by 29 year old women....
I am sorry, you're right in SOME situations. Just like a woman isn't a great cook in the kitchen and a porn star in the bedroom. So let's not talk in generalities. There are WONDERFUL women and MEN will NEVER stop wanting them. But if you expect to be pampered and for a man to take care of you then be willing to accept the humble Janitor just as much as you want a corporate CEO with money. Basically, if you love a man and he loves you and he takes care of every one of your needs to the best of his ability, consider your self very fortunate. Because he's doing the best he can for you and you know that is a turn on. But when you look over your shoulder at some bad boy because that turns you on for 30 mins. Then who is to blame.? Much respect to you... I thank God he made women.
Or we are scared to be depended on a man becsue she and the kdis have been abandoned
Younger men don’t want to work I have heard. The work within of youth is bad
@@wallynowacki6704 why are you chasing the woman who left you for the bad boy?
is the bad boy younger than you? is not balding/has hair, is fit/no belly, lasts longer in bed? There must be something the bad boy has that you don't.
Why are you having sex with this woman that doesn't love you? Why don't you grow a spine and respect yourself?
I think that's one of the reasons why i have always stuck with studying Vedic astrology... it might sound unrelated but in fact it's real science of how the energies function ! I am a Mars-dominant woman, and my Mars is in a sign that's governed by Venus... talk about having one's brain twisted in relationships !!! There is: how things work in nature, the big Laws if you will, regarding oestrogens and testosterone etc. As John talks so very wisely about and i'm so grateful for being a match to his knowledge, i just can't get enough of his knowledge of the Laws of the natural world... But then there is what you have been given !! Your personal internal alchemy... that's where relationships become an art and a science for most people, because not every woman was born with strong Venus influences, nor all men with strong Sun or Mars influences... and i'm even not speaking of the traumas we get on the road !!! So it's a deep and patient work to get to know all the subtle details of all of this... i'm 37 and still feel that i don't get the meat of it 😅😂
I would LOVE to see a fresh interview from you two. Ive watched this interview so many times because its INCREDIBLE!
Thanks for watching! This is the first time this interview has been aired in its entirety. Enjoy!
EXCELLEN!T ! i'm bookmarking this as it's a complete course in how to have a wonderful, loving relationship. THANK YOU!!
yes,i have dealing now a highiest potential he asked me wants to sleep with him but i said no ,i have any experience i give this to my future husband after marriage, and he said you are old values now is a new generation now, thats who am don't do that i protect my dignity , that who am i now he block me no contact, but now i'm go healing now❤❤ thanks GOD to protect/guided me to the tight path❤❤
fantastic you protcted yourself, if he treated you like that he would have gotten sex, used you and left you, he was never interested in you, he was interested in using you to please himself.
I want to celebrate your courage and actions, bravo!!!
Good, he moved out of the way for a respectful man of integrity to come into your life to value and cherish you. This Casanova did you a favor by showing you his true self.
Never compromise on your values and standards!
You dodged a bullet. A good man would respect that.
I feel relief and contentment hearing Mr John Gray say and explain my feelings and needs and some connections with them.Thank you. How to get men interested without suggesting this though? How do I nudge/inspire a man to find out about online blind-dating, the woman and the man, when a positive change /development is crucial for my willingness to go out with him?. And won't I be manipulative, fake and mechanical if using these methods and phrases. I should like everybody to hear this good talk.Even thogh I don't agree with everything. And Michelle is so nice too.
It’s really interesting that Dr Gray mentions that we have to consciously make an effort to keep our estrogen levels high as we age, especially after menopause. That we have more control over these hormones than we think, mentally.
How much of this still applies to men these days I wonder…?
I am well aware I’d be happier with a man. Men want to take, not give these days. They’re either selfish or insecure or both.
I’m premenopausal and I KNOW I NEED A MAN.
Men today are encouraged to be adult children and are selfish and they lie. At 57 I have LONG given up.
Find a kind one
Please clarify why you feel you need a man at this particular time.
@@lynnebailey6528 My hormones are regulated when I have consistent lovemaking. Otherwise I’m a wreck due to perimenopause.
I need one for S. But want a realtionship and can’t sleep around!!! I so get it!!!
I love hearing him talk! He makes me feel understood
I love these conversations! I started seeing a guy a few months ago. He’s been a completely different experience than anyone I’ve ever had a relationship with in the past, but I couldn’t put my finger on why
It’s because he has a healthy testosterone level, he is very masculine! It’s great and we’re having so much fun!
My ex husband and I were together 7 years, but he was asexual and I had to leave. He was my best friend, is still my best friend. But I’ve noticed even with dating in the past, my pulling away when they get too open and emotional. This was an interesting observation about myself this week
We don’t have a choice! I would love to have a man in my life.
I'm enjoying listening to you. Even at my age which is 67 I'm getting married again. I still need to know more about men. I want to know how I can learn more about my partner, because communication is a must. Thank You
Thank you, Michelle for every presentation with Dr. Gray. ❤
Sad, but more and more people these days seem like they don't want MEANINGFUL relationships.
I am on a journey to get to know myself better and then see if my dessert comes along. I do enjoy male energy. I like the way they think.
So if a woman has gone through menopause, does the estrogen still increase? And why are men of ages 55 and above so apathetic? They seem to not put effort into relationships.
Probably blood pressure pills. That’s what those damn things did to my husband.
Willy has gone Wonka. The limp noodle is such a surprise. Makes me miss my 20's
I had no idea why men get so worked up and motivated around me. My estrogen is always sky high .
I listened to john and my man bought me dinner, 3 desserts ( gave me choices)😜 and money 😊🎉 Most imp made me happiest girl in the world ❤ladies be wise use this to ur advantage
I wish I knew how to make my ex feel love for Me
He couldn’t have deeper feelings for Me
I believe I was a good girlfriend
Problems were His lack of consideration, affection
Lack of consistency
I did not feel safe
He did not fulfil my needs. He didn’t seem interested in trying to
I tried to be patient and accepting but that meant giving up my needs
How could I accept a Man who didn’t respect or value Me
I want all
The things John mentioned
It sounds like you dodged a bullet. Flush the toilet because he was a stinker.
39:13 i'm commenting along as i'm watching the interview...😅 but here, i think it's not an addiction problem... The porn addiction is the symptom of a deeper issue, which is when the person enters a relationship on a inauthentic basis... pretending, for instance, to want to be monogamous, when in fact, they'd prefer being with different women and need variety... they just abandon themselves, assuming that if they state what they prefer, they will be rejected and left alone... so they try to comply... but after a few months or years, their true nature resurfaces, because you can't un-want what you want, you can't un-desire what you desire for long...
For sure!
Genuine question rather than a bash:
So... we need to ask for help, but when friends ask us for help, we say, "i'd love to, but I can't." If all our friends also do the same thing, who is going to help anyone? Genuinely confused whenever these kinds of advice are given.
So powerful an full of great insite.
Thank you both, - Michelle, what a wonderful, beautiful listener! Whata woman to be able to hold hereslf back and let him speak, even though she has things to say too. I want money to take a course.
Some comments about the ideas here not working- I believe that you have to start out with 2 emotionally healthy people and limited selfishness. Everyone has bad days. It's not going to work well all the time.
Your wife is a genius!
Love what Dr Gray is discussing, wish I could meet a guy like him
You’ve been reading my mind again haven’t you lovely voice I’m full of happiness but it’s so hard to no where to direct it with a crazy adhd mind now I’m sober it’s crazy arse x a million so peace to me is the most important thing to me thank you xx
I made a huge mistake giving in on sex without asking for more. I associated it with disgust eventually.
Men being pushy for sex is SO unattractive
Great piece of advice
What was the advice? This was a lengthy video, my ADHD wouldn't let me concentrate on it.
Women had coffee clatches, but there still are sewing circles and knitting etc.....often these are offered at the Library...... healthy!
My mew job i was a victim of a character assassination she is in relapse mode n a nasty woman who is unable to affect mu integrity. I'm going to seek another part time job.they à clique.I AM LIVING in the process of being transformation from my heart ♥ thru the holy spirit.
I love the smells of my husband, how he hugs me so I can feel safe in his strong arms, when he lays next to me in bed and even when he blames the ghost for farting 🤣 😅❤ 🥴
My narcissistic ex was slave driving me, super critical of everything I did to the point I collapsed making oatmeal 🥣 one morning. I had never experienced anything like it, and I hope not to ever again. I have a psychology degree practically now from all the research I did just to make sense of it all. I wish I could find true love from a man, and I feel like my life would be so much better with a man in my life ❤.
Same they want a mommy they are toddlers and want it all done while they play
Oops I made so many mistakes with the guy I dated a few months ago 😅
Me too 😂
I felt that! 😂🤦♀️
Yeah well,what about Virgo men? No pun intended they're very difficult!
What about women?? Why is it always about men and what we need to do to please the ????
Thanks for watching! This channel is for women. John does teach men too and all of his books have content for men.
Right!!!!
It’s all about a man .. ohhh poor the man he should do whatever please him … the stupidity
Thank you 😊,
Men, want to provide and protect. A typical story is when a man loves a woman and he is doing anything to please her and be wanted. But, instead, she goes for the bad boy Jimmy Dean, Brad Pitt, most rappers. When she is pregnant and the bad boy wont reply to calls and texts. She goes running to the guy who wanted her in the first place and using her feminity ways gets him to protect her. But when the next bad guy comes along and she is stable. Bye! It;s classic. But hard to hear, isnt it ladies.... I love and respect woman but that will bet me no where. A gentleman will hold her coat while she kisses the bad boy, sometimes right in front of him....
no, there are women out there looking for good men. Good men do not have to be doormats, if she's pregnant with the bad boy why do you have to take care of her? Don't be a doormat, she made her choice.
Is she's giving you sex to get protection then you are getting sex. Don't have sex with her. You need to grow a spine and control your sexual impulses because they are your weakness.
Don't be a doormat and don't give sex to women who don't love you.
You're going after the young woman who doesn't love you, many old men think young women are physically attracted to old men, it's never the case.
Why a young woman, fertile, firm and fresh would settle for an old fart?
Only if she is after his money, security or passport.
Old men think they can have young women in love with them, young women are after the old man's resources.
Why a young woman would prefer an old man. balding, with a belly and thousands of annoying calcified habits? She will always prefer the fit, young man with hair and energy.
What do you have to offer (besides you paying her bills) that the young guy can't?
You have unrealistic expectations by thinking that young women love older men and at the same time you are rejecting women your age and God forbids slightly older than you. So Life is giving you the payback you deserve by having this young woman you want, reject you.
Why don't you aim for a woman your age? She may not look fresh and firm but chances are she's mentally and emotionally mature and has resources to pay for herself and if she's with you it's not because of your money.
It changes once a woman is not capable of reproduction. Dont change, hold on.
Stop going for incompetent stupid women just because you like how they look!
For god's sake, look at her character! Don't go just for looks!
Wrong!
As long a man don’t cheat and act like child and provide no woman in this world would change him for a bad boy
I’m not sure this advise would work with a dismissive avoidant type of man.
No they do not want feeling talk but business talk all about risk and reward
I pay a lot for meals. Is it wrong?
What about codependency
Interesting video. I like what dr. Gray said the porn issue. Well said. Some interesting points in this video like asking men to help.
All true … correct …
28:03 that's not because "she got it", unfortunately... it's because she probably had enmeshment trauma and now she'd rather suffer in silence and do it herself than having once again to "pay" for being vulnerable, like having someone saying to her "ok, i'll do that for you but i'll take advantage of your vulnerability in the meanwhile and take more than my pleasure of "seeing you being happy" "... That's a thing that had a huge impact on women for centuries, which is why at some point women were so enraged and felt the need to create a feminist movement... they want to be vulnerable without it meaning having strings attached all over, being controled and having their creative power taken from her against their will... "Ok, be vulnerable, but i'll take what I want from you in exchange", it has always been an unfair and unhealthy thing and will continue to be... how can we call that, compensation or something...? It's like: ok you be vulnerable but abandon your barriers or i will leave you alone with all of it
.. that's a real thing... And for most women today who suffer this, it's ancestral trauma in their genes, it's not even theirs from their present lifetime... it comes from great great grandmothers sometimes... when being exiled from the tribe was equal to a death sentence, because there was no other village for miles around for you to reach out to... Why do you think village girls like me were so obsessed with going to the big city eh ? 😂 those desires are reminiscence... And it needs to be adressed or it just continues along the generations... fortunately it can be healed through somatic therapies. God bless who created them !!!
What about you ask for help and he say you can do it you need to learn to be independent, and the guy start to treat you as a woman like a mom
We are never enough before the P@@n industry! Now that is another issue! Any addiction is an issue! Unhealthy and agreed!
But you’re saying any man no this is not right there has to be some sort of chemistry there first for a woman to want this man and usually a mature woman knows know what they want. Not a really young woman but at the young age it’s good they’re give-and-take but at that age but you know age 30 it has to be like a chemistry and then she can proceed and then you know find a man or whatever but you’re like saying any man or you know a man no no not just a man and she doesn’t have to have a man because she, you’re just because she works or whatever just because she needs one it has to be chemistry. You know you can’t just go out and get a man no it doesn’t work that way.
Gobildy GOOOOOO.
1:47:31
Does any of this work with psychopaths?
Nooooooooooo
Interesting
About women asking for help. How it supposed to raise the man's testosterone. I understand all that but I'm a 39 year old woman married 13 years. So I'm actually not speaking for myself but I hear a lot of my friends and or online their man gets an attitude or gets annoyed with them. Can you help us understand that? Why would these men be getting annoyed if they should be feel like they're saving us?
maybe it's the tone of voice used when asking for help or all the nagging and criticism before and after asking for help
🎉🎉
@@NgG-g2nagreed but sometimes men get their needs and still not happy.
They do not ask, they demand, and are not thankful. They taught their Men this.
Chek out John's website blog, he and his daughter have videos about this
Great who knew¿????
I’m not good with irrational 25:35
Agreed!
You both talking about asking him to do little things reminds me of 'The Princess Bride' She even asks him to take down a jug hanging right by her hand, and thats how he falls in love with her, I get it now, thank you 😅
This ,an took off on a rabbit trail, instead of answering about the porn problem in a marriage,which runs most women,and they can no longer trust the husband.and actually turns a woman angest men!
100000 true!
I hated my ex he thought it’s was fine ..
But it made me so angry and I lost my interest for him
Why didn't she go to the store to get the milk when she needed it?
Maybe your mom DID need some emotional support but she knew she was never going to get it so she didn't hope for it.
Lové ú
Far too much pandering to the male ego..😱
So many ads interrupting the flow of conversation 🫤. Great content 😊
Get ad blocker.
women are the flower if we wake men up then what does he man do..... protect.