So glad to see someone else say Year of the Cup is their favourite song too. Genuinely an incredibly human song that is so different from anything I could've expected from Porter.
i tend to not watch too many analysis videos on porter's work, usually i like to digest it on my own. but this video is so well made. your perspectives on the songs were really well written and the editing was so good. the way you had the negative thoughts flood in during the kitsune maison section of the video and then answered with positive messages in the easier to love you section almost made me cry. you really understand what makes this album so special, thanks for making this
This is the best analysis of his work I’ve seen out there. Short, deep, emotional and honest to Porters vision of his art. I’ve been a dedicated Porter fan since the very beginning seeing him 31 times live and have gone through the biggest milestones of my life through his music. Great work, you nailed the assignment.
I'm relatively new to Porter's music but Worlds got me through a really hard time in late 2023 and for that I'm forever grateful. I'm glad I get to be a part of the community, and I can't wait to listen to his music for years to come :D
Just a bit ago me and my friends went out to Porter’s concert at the Hollywood Bowl and I specifically remember his performance of “Russian Roulette”. Towards the later-half when Porter was giving his reasons for staying alive, my friend looked at me and told me that he started tearing up because of it. I love “Russian Roulette” because it really makes me think of my own reasons for staying alive.
I remember the day SMILE dropped, it was the day right after my summer holidays started, so it was like my summer song, i have so many fond memories of i and associate it was carefree days and sunshine. i remember waking up on the first day and, first thing in the morning, pirating the whole thing to a CD and listeningn to it all in one go. By the time i'd finished listening to it and had gone down for breakfast, i was genuinely a different person. i remember walking around slowly and awkwardly, looking at everything around me and feeling this new and overpowering sense of gratitude for the things in my life, and it's a feeling ive carried with me ever since. a lot of the time people go "truly a lifechanging experience" in an ironic way to mock something terrible, but this is one of those things where i genuinely mean it. note: In Cheerleader, "her" is a metaphor for his whole fanbase collectively, not just one girl. Great video as always btw ! :D
Porter's music has been with me since Worlds released, and every album has brought with it a major life lesson that I /desperately/ needed at the time. Worlds taught me how to love music, predominantly during a time where my father, the only person who could have taught me how to love it as deeply as I do, had just passed. Nurture taught me how to heal and that no matter what, things will be okay. Important, as I realized I was transgender around the time that the singles started coming out, its the album that got me through that confusion that was spiking around the Covid-19 lock downs. Smile has released around the time of me starting my medical transition and truly entering my life as an adult around in my early 20s. How to give myself grace, to be patient with myself, and most importantly of all- how to love myself. Its also the first time I've been able to see Porter live, and Gods am I glad I waited this long. It was a truly magical experience and I met so many wonderful members of the community that share passions and stories similar to my own. Every track he has released has been a powerful message of love, truth, and hope for ones self. It is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming to see someone who not only shares that love and experience, but is able to articulate it as well as you have in these essays. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and being so vulnerable with your community. I can't wait to see where your journey goes!
I learned about porter thanks to one of those videos "all music sounds the same" or something like that, since then I have been in love with his work and I hope more people give him a chance, thanks for making this video ^^
Honestly thank you for this video it has given me a space to truly reflect on what Porter’s music means to me and how my life has changed because of it. When I was younger, nurture message of hope really helped see the light at the end of the tunnel during years of suisidal ideation and depression. It kept letting me know that life wouldn’t always be so painful and hard. Smile came out about 4 months into my medical transition and right when I decided to come out to my family and the rest of my friends who didn’t already know. I have been in a much better headspace and struggle much less with my mental health, and to me Russian roulette was both almost a recap of my life so far and a hopeful battle cry of finding the beauty in living. I was lucky enough to see potter live this year with some friends and during the last third of the song was bawling and singing as loud as I could. I felt like I was almost trying to reach myself from all those years ago to reassure them that it does get better and that you will eventually learn how to love yourself.
For years, I only knew Shelter from Porter Robinson. About a month ago, during a road trip with friends, Cheerleader was added to our playlist, and I fell in love with the song. After parting ways with my friends, I listened to the whole album SMILE! :D on the 8-hour flight back home. It felt so familiar, relatable, and comforting. Thank you for this analysis, it helped me appreciate the album even more. I’m definitely subscribing to see more.
W drop i just watched the previous video you made and damn it's good! Actually Porter Robinson made me felt so inspired that Get your Wish. That song alone made an oc!
Love videos like this being thrown at me out of nowhere Great production, great person speaking and a great album chosen as a subject. This is legitimately the best video I saw in months!
Such a damn good watch. This albums helped me through the toughest days in an already bum year and this video perfectly explained so well why i love it so much. New sub from this point onward
Im glad you shared your story about your anxiety and leaving school, that's me rn, good to know someone had the same experience even tho it's a crappy thing 😅
I've been listening to portor since 2012 and his progression with his music, life ECT has been really cool to see his music I still head bang to most days of the week and has helped me get through a really rough period of my life and still does so I'll forever be grateful 😁❤️
not sure if this comes off as rude, and i hope it does not! But man do I wish this video was longer lol. I love love hearing your thoughts on the songs. I wish we could maybe here some more on it, as i just love hearing peoples thoughts about songs, and their lore. Idk but srs thank you for the video! Amazing video, and amazing album.
Istg I love porters lyricism so much That I have memorised every lyrics his. It's like there's a reason why he added those lines or extra beats here and there but we may never get to know it. I try to embed that in my poetry
His songs help bringing me back from the grievance after loss all the saving through phone scam. That day for me is the worst of my life ever imagine, but his songs especially Russian roulette and easier to love you bring me back to sane and love myself even more. So, THANK YOU PORTER!!!
alright, i'll get a bit personal on this one. Easier to Love You is the song from this album that hit me on a deep level. Ironically, Porter talks about "the person you were at age 17", yet this song hits me as someone who's 17 and almost an adult. Porter singing about the letter from his past self reminded me of myself at an even younger age, where I was having an incredibly difficult time with specifically my OCD and anxiety during the COVID pandemic. For me my OCD was a constant cycle of questioning my actions, existence, and morality, and I cant emphacize enough how all-consuming it was, every hour of the day, especially being so young and not realizing it was a mental illness. I think the most naive thing I ever thought back then was that once i'd overcome that, i wouldn't ever be affected by a single struggle ever again. Although I dont struggle as much with my OCD anymore, as I write this I'm what you would call disabled or chronically ill due to a neurological condition I ended up developing 2 years ago now in 2022. I'm far from being as independent as someone at 17 would be expected to be, and sadly am missing out on various life experiences because of it. I found myself progressively spending more and more time over the past two years waiting for the next medical appointment in hopes of something changing (and dealing with the medical system is a whole other can of worms, battling doctors to convince them i'm not just having "stress and anxiety"), instead of waiting for cool upcoming events or a hangout with friends, which I ended up losing more of the more isolated I became. My younger self would always keep promising things for the future, similar to porter saying he'd "pick up painting" and "join the gym". things such as being more independent and driving a car, going out on my own, being out of the house, doing all these things I always associated with being "grown" that I thought were impossible. I've always had a hard time thinking about my younger self, mostly because of how awful I feel that she had such a hard time and I wish I could tell her it'll be okay, but because in a way I sometimes find myself feeling like I failed her somehow. "Please be disappointed in me / isn't it obvious I wasn't who you think?" are the lyrics I found myself mulling over, because this is DEFINITELY how I didn't expect my cards to unfold. This isnt' my fault at all, and it takes a while to finally come to terms that you didn't do anything wrong to end up chronically ill. And yet, I feel so sad to know that I'd been hoping to be "living" by now. Even despite that, I've always tried to find a way to appreciate the experiences I've been handed, because I can't change them, so I might as well use them to my advantage. I wouldn't have the open mindedness or empathy with people that I am grateful to feel, if I hadn't been in situations where being shown these things by people made situations feel a bit less like a weight on my shoulders. I learned what it means to be confident and not let people stomp all over you, especially when they have no right to. People staring at me weird or treating me different or infantalizing me because I'm using a cane, or using headphones in the "wrong" place because of my sensory sensitivities? Would bother me years ago, I could barely care less now. I know it helps me and makes things WAY easier for myself, so why should I care what they think? It's something I'll feel self concious about as I still do suffer from an anxiety disorder, but I am so grateful for how many hurdles i've surpassed that I never thought I would be able to. And most importantly, I found a true support system with friends. Maybe it WOULD "hurt much less if I was lonely", because now I have people to miss. I think the fact that after 17 years I found true in-person friends that stick by me and support me through anything, and taught me that its okay to ask for help, is something I will forever be grateful for, and I will never be able to emphacize that enough. I never knew that something I had been missing for 17 years of my life was being told that I didn't need to say sorry for asking for support. I would do anything for them in a heartbeat, and they helped me slowly unlearn that I needed to beat myself up for even thinking of slightly "inconveniencing" someone for something I can't control. Having no one ask me where I was or text me to ask if I was okay when I ended up home from high school for the year because of a flare-up of symptoms (that i never told anyone at the time i was struggling with this condition) didn't bother me at that age, because I didn't realize how much more i'd, for lack of a better word, *feel* now that I have people checking in on me and still trying to keep contact despite me being away. I don't know what the future looks like, and it won't ever be fully happy or perfect, but I think the small bursts of beauty in it where I get to reflect and think that THIS is what being alive is about, is what i'm striving for. I'm looking to accomplish my goals despite everything, maybe talk about my experiences to hopefully improve things for others like me, but more importantly I want to find myself simply content, flowing with the changes, and expressing myself to the world, whatever that looks like. Maybe that's what it's about. I may not be where I promised myself i'd be at age seventeen, but it sure feels better having something to keep pushing towards, be grateful for, and smile about :)
@novasorbit thank you so much for your comment, first i wanna say i appreciate you coming back after my previous video and checking this one out too:) this is a very personal comment thank you so much for sharing, it’s so interesting hearing how u resonate with easier to love you. i see a lot of myself in your story, i have autism and i too have OCD and both those things make life pretty hellish, it’s really tough to go through life with obtrusive thoughts and stupid repeating behaviours. OCD compulsions affect my life every single hour i’ve permanently damaged my teeth because of one of my recurring compulsions which force me to click them together otherwise i’ll die. that’s what OCD is like for me anyway but it can also anything from turning a light on and off to sipping a drink 64 times until i feel satisfied. that’s why i can relate to your comment, thank you for opening up like that. it’s inspiring to hear your story and how consumed you were/are by these things. i just turned 18 the other month so i know how it feels at this age. i can’t go anywhere with people without my headphones to block out noise so i know exactly what you’re saying. i feel so seen from your comment and it’s making me reflect deeply at 4am right now when i can’t sleep for shit. thank you so much for your time and your intimacy with your personal stories, it’s very sincere of you and i’m really proud of how you are doing. i know life is hard and unfair and full of bullshit but stay strong and remember to smile! :D every now and then :) -it would be so much easier to love you, if you could only see yourself like me
@@jackuw Thank you so much for this response! I'm sorry to hear you struggle a lot with OCD compulsions, however I do feel at least happy knowing you resonate with my story :) I also do happen to be autistic as well ironically! Noise has always been the main source of sensory overload for me since I was a kid, and learning to accomodate for that by not just doing things like wearing headphones but also coming to terms with the fact that its okay to not enjoy huge loud parties and giant gatherings after thinking thats what "typical" teenaging looks like (being undiagnosed until my teens didnt help with that) improved a lot of things for me on how I function day to day. It really is nice to know you feel seen by my comment, its honestly why I'm so open about sharing those struggles because it can really help someone else! And honestly, other than just being a fellow porter robinson fan, I really just enjoyed hearing your views on his songs and how they resonate with you as well. I love hearing people talk about the way art in general impacts them, I tend to get really deep into talking about certain pieces of media (which is pretty attributed to my autism for me lol) so hearing someone talk about that openly was like "oh hey cool! person who talks deeply about music! porter robinson enjoyer! this is so cool! same!" for me LMAO. I'm always down to have conversations with people about art and music, its all part of human expression and speaks a lot on someone's views of the world and personal experiences that shaped them. actually to tell you the truth, after your Nurture video I was thinking to myself that i'd be completely down to ramble about music or any other shit if you're ever up for it! I really enjoyed hearing what you had to say :D I'm also proud of you too man, life throws shit at us but you're so right, there's so much that's worth it about looking for reasons to smile :)
@novasorbitthank you for your kind words :) i’m so happy my videos are reaching the right people who love this stuff as much as me. you seem like a spitting image of me as a person so i guess the algorithm is doing its job!! id love to talk to you about music or anything in general absolutely!! would be an honour to get to know you better
@@jackuw dude I’d be honored as well :D!! Where would be the best place to reach out?? UA-cam often censors the names of other platforms in comments so that might be difficult 🥲
"Year of the Cup" was such a hard sell for me for so long but having listened to the whole album obsessively this summer and learning most of the album on Piano, YOTC has easily become one of my favorite songs on the entire album because of what I'm currently going through and the changes I'm making to my life and body. Beginning to go through my transition right now it's insane to me how much of this song and this whole album hits so close for me like pieces of conversations between me and my parents or interactions I've had "It was the obvious first time you were disappointed... 'I'm sorry I'm like this' " and my personal favorite from the song: "I asked you if I never changed, 'would you love me?' expecting the negative. Clever, turning the question around to me was obvious. I hate this version of me that was safe and sanitized thoroughly. You think you'll let people down and divine some perfect apology." It's such a powerful song for me for that reason especially. I'm unapologetically me, I swore not to care but it still gets to me from time to time, and I have to build up the real courage to tell people and prepare to give some perfect apology that can't exist. I shouldn't have to apologize for being me and for finding that hapiness and to me that's what this song helps me to scream at people right to their face without it being understood. It's cathardic and it's beautiful
Along very very similar lines "Easier to Love You" and "Everything to Me" are especially touching, so many of the lyrics are either words to myself or for myself to others. Incredibly powerful album on all fronts
Never listened to a Porter Robinson song before now but yeah this video kinda hit me right in the feels remind me in a couple weeks when this video has a couple million views cause it better get there :)
ok from the intro this hits me hard, was thinking about the golden gate thing last week when i heard a conflicting story from another survivor. i think ill binge this album then come back
This album was such a brave move, using your real voice after all these years, going for a different music genre and even dare to criticize some of your own “fans”.
kitsune maison freestyle REALLY resonated with me probably more than most tbh, coming from the perspective of a trans girl, constantly being anxious about how i look, making sure that i look pretty enough, that what i'm wearing is always cute and fashionable, that i'm constantly watching my weight and body under the pretense of health instead of appearance, and so many other things, those being similar issues that porter also struggled with due to his fame & position as an artist was really a "wow, i didn't think of that until now" moment to me. where a lot of the other themes in smile! :D were either very blatant or already touched upon in his other works to an extent, kitsune maison freestyle coming out of nowhere like that along with the funny irl event was really provoking to me. it might get some minor hate for being a single over some of the other tracks in smile! :D that could have been but it's suchhhhh a great and slept on track to me, and it went crazy both of the times i saw it live.
hey jack! really happy to see a second video of yours and i hope the reception on the nurture video and this one will continue motivating you to make content! dont be afraid of stepping outside of porter's music (there is not much left to cover on him anyway) and going after your other personal favourites, as your enthousiasm for these videos is infectious. i hope you're feeling better now than you did 1,5 months ago because clearly there is a lot of love and character in you. i'll repeat my message: discover and do at your own pace, as long as you are happy you are doing well thanks for the video! much love again, from belgium
fellow highschool dropout here. got an equivalent diploma by doing 4 tests and passing without studying. I'm from Canada, but a lot of it was common knowledge.
If Nuture was ambient beauty of nature and passion of art. Then Smile is that one quirky rock band like they're Weezers, if they know how to use FL Studio. It's funny this is similar to Chromokopia where they tackle their personal life during their peak of fame while addressing their problems within their own perspective fandom. Like, example, Noid being about Tyler's paranoia from the fandom, then we got Cheerleader where Porter is concerned about them worshipping him like a God or something idk lol. Or Thought I Was Dead where he mocks the people who hates Tyler. And then we got Knock Yourself where he also gives a bit of middle finger to the haters too. And another example, Tommorow where Tyler chose his own selfish ways of not getting married or having a child that his mama wished for, due to that, he still reflecting and being concerned about his future since time is catching up to him. Then we got Easier to Love You where Porter or somebody was in already in the future but is not actually currently happy unlike what have they promised from their past selfs. Both of them are still 'moving on' songs towards the future regardless of their own choices..
now do a vid about acloudyskye. You will fall down another rabbit hole trying to understand it all and spending hours on genius, but it will be worth it
the ultimate fyp pull just dropped
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YES FEBREZE
So glad to see someone else say Year of the Cup is their favourite song too. Genuinely an incredibly human song that is so different from anything I could've expected from Porter.
Year of the cup makes me cry😭😭😭
I love how Russian Roulette was released out of nowhere on June FIFTH. Bro really didn't know his schedule.
wait im stupid what's special about june 5th
@PruneJuice100 "Don't know my schedule on the fifth". It's just the day that's ironic, not the month.
@@bluebrickmax ohhh okay
Thanks! :D
"cheerleader has been stuck in my head all day" SO REAL OF YOU
Finding this video is like finding a golden scar.
Dekubupdumdem
i tend to not watch too many analysis videos on porter's work, usually i like to digest it on my own. but this video is so well made. your perspectives on the songs were really well written and the editing was so good. the way you had the negative thoughts flood in during the kitsune maison section of the video and then answered with positive messages in the easier to love you section almost made me cry. you really understand what makes this album so special, thanks for making this
great editing! bravo!
This is the best analysis of his work I’ve seen out there. Short, deep, emotional and honest to Porters vision of his art.
I’ve been a dedicated Porter fan since the very beginning seeing him 31 times live and have gone through the biggest milestones of my life through his music. Great work, you nailed the assignment.
I'm relatively new to Porter's music but Worlds got me through a really hard time in late 2023 and for that I'm forever grateful. I'm glad I get to be a part of the community, and I can't wait to listen to his music for years to come :D
Just a bit ago me and my friends went out to Porter’s concert at the Hollywood Bowl and I specifically remember his performance of “Russian Roulette”. Towards the later-half when Porter was giving his reasons for staying alive, my friend looked at me and told me that he started tearing up because of it. I love “Russian Roulette” because it really makes me think of my own reasons for staying alive.
the concert changed my life
I remember the day SMILE dropped, it was the day right after my summer holidays started, so it was like my summer song, i have so many fond memories of i and associate it was carefree days and sunshine. i remember waking up on the first day and, first thing in the morning, pirating the whole thing to a CD and listeningn to it all in one go. By the time i'd finished listening to it and had gone down for breakfast, i was genuinely a different person. i remember walking around slowly and awkwardly, looking at everything around me and feeling this new and overpowering sense of gratitude for the things in my life, and it's a feeling ive carried with me ever since.
a lot of the time people go "truly a lifechanging experience" in an ironic way to mock something terrible, but this is one of those things where i genuinely mean it.
note: In Cheerleader, "her" is a metaphor for his whole fanbase collectively, not just one girl. Great video as always btw ! :D
Porter's music has been with me since Worlds released, and every album has brought with it a major life lesson that I /desperately/ needed at the time.
Worlds taught me how to love music, predominantly during a time where my father, the only person who could have taught me how to love it as deeply as I do, had just passed.
Nurture taught me how to heal and that no matter what, things will be okay. Important, as I realized I was transgender around the time that the singles started coming out, its the album that got me through that confusion that was spiking around the Covid-19 lock downs.
Smile has released around the time of me starting my medical transition and truly entering my life as an adult around in my early 20s. How to give myself grace, to be patient with myself, and most importantly of all- how to love myself. Its also the first time I've been able to see Porter live, and Gods am I glad I waited this long. It was a truly magical experience and I met so many wonderful members of the community that share passions and stories similar to my own.
Every track he has released has been a powerful message of love, truth, and hope for ones self. It is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming to see someone who not only shares that love and experience, but is able to articulate it as well as you have in these essays. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and being so vulnerable with your community. I can't wait to see where your journey goes!
Another great and insightful piece of work Jack
drop the Worlds video anime boy. IM SORRY I HAD TO (great vid btw, i was very excited when i saw this came out)
album of the year for me easy, it's been on in the background since it came out (and it's good to see more love for year of the cup!!! love that tune)
I love this. This is good. Thank you for this!
I learned about porter thanks to one of those videos "all music sounds the same" or something like that, since then I have been in love with his work and I hope more people give him a chance, thanks for making this video ^^
NEW JACKUW VIDEO LET'S GOOOOOOO
Honestly thank you for this video it has given me a space to truly reflect on what Porter’s music means to me and how my life has changed because of it.
When I was younger, nurture message of hope really helped see the light at the end of the tunnel during years of suisidal ideation and depression. It kept letting me know that life wouldn’t always be so painful and hard.
Smile came out about 4 months into my medical transition and right when I decided to come out to my family and the rest of my friends who didn’t already know. I have been in a much better headspace and struggle much less with my mental health, and to me Russian roulette was both almost a recap of my life so far and a hopeful battle cry of finding the beauty in living. I was lucky enough to see potter live this year with some friends and during the last third of the song was bawling and singing as loud as I could. I felt like I was almost trying to reach myself from all those years ago to reassure them that it does get better and that you will eventually learn how to love yourself.
For years, I only knew Shelter from Porter Robinson. About a month ago, during a road trip with friends, Cheerleader was added to our playlist, and I fell in love with the song. After parting ways with my friends, I listened to the whole album SMILE! :D on the 8-hour flight back home. It felt so familiar, relatable, and comforting. Thank you for this analysis, it helped me appreciate the album even more. I’m definitely subscribing to see more.
This video is just excellent. Really great thoughts. And THANK YOU for giving YOTC the love it deserves.
very kind!
Love this video so much! Seeing him live with this album was genuinely life changing
thank you so much!! yeah im so excited to go see him live myself :)
W drop i just watched the previous video you made and damn it's good! Actually Porter Robinson made me felt so inspired that Get your Wish. That song alone made an oc!
Thank you for doing this video!
Love videos like this being thrown at me out of nowhere
Great production, great person speaking and a great album chosen as a subject. This is legitimately the best video I saw in months!
so kind of you!! thanks so much :)
Such a damn good watch. This albums helped me through the toughest days in an already bum year and this video perfectly explained so well why i love it so much. New sub from this point onward
Im glad you shared your story about your anxiety and leaving school, that's me rn, good to know someone had the same experience even tho it's a crappy thing 😅
I've been listening to portor since 2012 and his progression with his music, life ECT has been really cool to see his music I still head bang to most days of the week and has helped me get through a really rough period of my life and still does so I'll forever be grateful 😁❤️
not sure if this comes off as rude, and i hope it does not! But man do I wish this video was longer lol. I love love hearing your thoughts on the songs. I wish we could maybe here some more on it, as i just love hearing peoples thoughts about songs, and their lore. Idk but srs thank you for the video! Amazing video, and amazing album.
Love this video! Really enjoyed how you brought in your own experiences and how they related to each song. Keep up the good work!
great video :D
Loved two of his songs and accepted an invite to his concert. Hadn’t heard this album and holy moly what a cry when I heard it live
Istg I love porters lyricism so much That I have memorised every lyrics his.
It's like there's a reason why he added those lines or extra beats here and there but we may never get to know it.
I try to embed that in my poetry
His songs help bringing me back from the grievance after loss all the saving through phone scam. That day for me is the worst of my life ever imagine, but his songs especially Russian roulette and easier to love you bring me back to sane and love myself even more. So, THANK YOU PORTER!!!
Thanks porter, this album saved me
Porter Robinson and a good friend saved my life 🧡
thanks for making this video, i’ve been listening to this album for 2 months and it really changed my life
A SMILE STORY
alright, i'll get a bit personal on this one.
Easier to Love You is the song from this album that hit me on a deep level. Ironically, Porter talks about "the person you were at age 17", yet this song hits me as someone who's 17 and almost an adult. Porter singing about the letter from his past self reminded me of myself at an even younger age, where I was having an incredibly difficult time with specifically my OCD and anxiety during the COVID pandemic. For me my OCD was a constant cycle of questioning my actions, existence, and morality, and I cant emphacize enough how all-consuming it was, every hour of the day, especially being so young and not realizing it was a mental illness. I think the most naive thing I ever thought back then was that once i'd overcome that, i wouldn't ever be affected by a single struggle ever again. Although I dont struggle as much with my OCD anymore, as I write this I'm what you would call disabled or chronically ill due to a neurological condition I ended up developing 2 years ago now in 2022. I'm far from being as independent as someone at 17 would be expected to be, and sadly am missing out on various life experiences because of it. I found myself progressively spending more and more time over the past two years waiting for the next medical appointment in hopes of something changing (and dealing with the medical system is a whole other can of worms, battling doctors to convince them i'm not just having "stress and anxiety"), instead of waiting for cool upcoming events or a hangout with friends, which I ended up losing more of the more isolated I became. My younger self would always keep promising things for the future, similar to porter saying he'd "pick up painting" and "join the gym". things such as being more independent and driving a car, going out on my own, being out of the house, doing all these things I always associated with being "grown" that I thought were impossible.
I've always had a hard time thinking about my younger self, mostly because of how awful I feel that she had such a hard time and I wish I could tell her it'll be okay, but because in a way I sometimes find myself feeling like I failed her somehow. "Please be disappointed in me / isn't it obvious I wasn't who you think?" are the lyrics I found myself mulling over, because this is DEFINITELY how I didn't expect my cards to unfold. This isnt' my fault at all, and it takes a while to finally come to terms that you didn't do anything wrong to end up chronically ill. And yet, I feel so sad to know that I'd been hoping to be "living" by now.
Even despite that, I've always tried to find a way to appreciate the experiences I've been handed, because I can't change them, so I might as well use them to my advantage. I wouldn't have the open mindedness or empathy with people that I am grateful to feel, if I hadn't been in situations where being shown these things by people made situations feel a bit less like a weight on my shoulders. I learned what it means to be confident and not let people stomp all over you, especially when they have no right to. People staring at me weird or treating me different or infantalizing me because I'm using a cane, or using headphones in the "wrong" place because of my sensory sensitivities? Would bother me years ago, I could barely care less now. I know it helps me and makes things WAY easier for myself, so why should I care what they think? It's something I'll feel self concious about as I still do suffer from an anxiety disorder, but I am so grateful for how many hurdles i've surpassed that I never thought I would be able to. And most importantly, I found a true support system with friends. Maybe it WOULD "hurt much less if I was lonely", because now I have people to miss. I think the fact that after 17 years I found true in-person friends that stick by me and support me through anything, and taught me that its okay to ask for help, is something I will forever be grateful for, and I will never be able to emphacize that enough. I never knew that something I had been missing for 17 years of my life was being told that I didn't need to say sorry for asking for support. I would do anything for them in a heartbeat, and they helped me slowly unlearn that I needed to beat myself up for even thinking of slightly "inconveniencing" someone for something I can't control. Having no one ask me where I was or text me to ask if I was okay when I ended up home from high school for the year because of a flare-up of symptoms (that i never told anyone at the time i was struggling with this condition) didn't bother me at that age, because I didn't realize how much more i'd, for lack of a better word, *feel* now that I have people checking in on me and still trying to keep contact despite me being away.
I don't know what the future looks like, and it won't ever be fully happy or perfect, but I think the small bursts of beauty in it where I get to reflect and think that THIS is what being alive is about, is what i'm striving for. I'm looking to accomplish my goals despite everything, maybe talk about my experiences to hopefully improve things for others like me, but more importantly I want to find myself simply content, flowing with the changes, and expressing myself to the world, whatever that looks like. Maybe that's what it's about. I may not be where I promised myself i'd be at age seventeen, but it sure feels better having something to keep pushing towards, be grateful for, and smile about :)
@novasorbit thank you so much for your comment, first i wanna say i appreciate you coming back after my previous video and checking this one out too:)
this is a very personal comment thank you so much for sharing, it’s so interesting hearing how u resonate with easier to love you. i see a lot of myself in your story, i have autism and i too have OCD and both those things make life pretty hellish, it’s really tough to go through life with obtrusive thoughts and stupid repeating behaviours. OCD compulsions affect my life every single hour i’ve permanently damaged my teeth because of one of my recurring compulsions which force me to click them together otherwise i’ll die. that’s what OCD is like for me anyway but it can also anything from turning a light on and off to sipping a drink 64 times until i feel satisfied. that’s why i can relate to your comment, thank you for opening up like that. it’s inspiring to hear your story and how consumed you were/are by these things. i just turned 18 the other month so i know how it feels at this age. i can’t go anywhere with people without my headphones to block out noise so i know exactly what you’re saying. i feel so seen from your comment and it’s making me reflect deeply at 4am right now when i can’t sleep for shit. thank you so much for your time and your intimacy with your personal stories, it’s very sincere of you and i’m really proud of how you are doing. i know life is hard and unfair and full of bullshit but stay strong and remember to smile! :D every now and then :)
-it would be so much easier to love you, if you could only see yourself like me
@@jackuw Thank you so much for this response! I'm sorry to hear you struggle a lot with OCD compulsions, however I do feel at least happy knowing you resonate with my story :)
I also do happen to be autistic as well ironically! Noise has always been the main source of sensory overload for me since I was a kid, and learning to accomodate for that by not just doing things like wearing headphones but also coming to terms with the fact that its okay to not enjoy huge loud parties and giant gatherings after thinking thats what "typical" teenaging looks like (being undiagnosed until my teens didnt help with that) improved a lot of things for me on how I function day to day. It really is nice to know you feel seen by my comment, its honestly why I'm so open about sharing those struggles because it can really help someone else!
And honestly, other than just being a fellow porter robinson fan, I really just enjoyed hearing your views on his songs and how they resonate with you as well. I love hearing people talk about the way art in general impacts them, I tend to get really deep into talking about certain pieces of media (which is pretty attributed to my autism for me lol) so hearing someone talk about that openly was like "oh hey cool! person who talks deeply about music! porter robinson enjoyer! this is so cool! same!" for me LMAO. I'm always down to have conversations with people about art and music, its all part of human expression and speaks a lot on someone's views of the world and personal experiences that shaped them. actually to tell you the truth, after your Nurture video I was thinking to myself that i'd be completely down to ramble about music or any other shit if you're ever up for it! I really enjoyed hearing what you had to say :D
I'm also proud of you too man, life throws shit at us but you're so right, there's so much that's worth it about looking for reasons to smile :)
@novasorbitthank you for your kind words :) i’m so happy my videos are reaching the right people who love this stuff as much as me. you seem like a spitting image of me as a person so i guess the algorithm is doing its job!! id love to talk to you about music or anything in general absolutely!! would be an honour to get to know you better
@@jackuw dude I’d be honored as well :D!! Where would be the best place to reach out?? UA-cam often censors the names of other platforms in comments so that might be difficult 🥲
@novasorbit my discord is jackuw and my twitter is jackuwGNU, or if something else works better for you let me know!!
Great explanation!
please keep posting content like this. The nurture video was so good. and this...... so perfect
"Year of the Cup" was such a hard sell for me for so long but having listened to the whole album obsessively this summer and learning most of the album on Piano, YOTC has easily become one of my favorite songs on the entire album because of what I'm currently going through and the changes I'm making to my life and body. Beginning to go through my transition right now it's insane to me how much of this song and this whole album hits so close for me like pieces of conversations between me and my parents or interactions I've had
"It was the obvious first time you were disappointed... 'I'm sorry I'm like this' "
and my personal favorite from the song:
"I asked you if I never changed, 'would you love me?' expecting the negative. Clever, turning the question around to me was obvious. I hate this version of me that was safe and sanitized thoroughly. You think you'll let people down and divine some perfect apology."
It's such a powerful song for me for that reason especially. I'm unapologetically me, I swore not to care but it still gets to me from time to time, and I have to build up the real courage to tell people and prepare to give some perfect apology that can't exist. I shouldn't have to apologize for being me and for finding that hapiness and to me that's what this song helps me to scream at people right to their face without it being understood. It's cathardic and it's beautiful
Along very very similar lines "Easier to Love You" and "Everything to Me" are especially touching, so many of the lyrics are either words to myself or for myself to others. Incredibly powerful album on all fronts
love to see another year of the cup fan!! amazing comment :D you understand why that song is so good
Keep on making videos man, I love Porter Robinson
Good video man. Need to do one when Madeon drops again.
jackuw, I love these videos so much. You do deep dives of porter like no one else. Please keep making content
Never listened to a Porter Robinson song before now but yeah this video kinda hit me right in the feels
remind me in a couple weeks when this video has a couple million views cause it better get there :)
@@PruneJuice100 aww thanks!!
love the editing and analysis on this
Lets go dude! Cant wait for even more content! Good stuff
ngl, this video made me tear up a bit, keep up the good work bud!
Goated video
This guy is an ultimate glazer.
Life changing ahhh video essay 😭🙏
ok from the intro this hits me hard, was thinking about the golden gate thing last week when i heard a conflicting story from another survivor. i think ill binge this album then come back
love this video
Need more of these
Mythic Recommended pull
I appreciated UA-cam’s recommendation algorithm again. Is there really no happiness deserves the single and MV.
This album was such a brave move, using your real voice after all these years, going for a different music genre and even dare to criticize some of your own “fans”.
kitsune maison freestyle REALLY resonated with me probably more than most tbh, coming from the perspective of a trans girl, constantly being anxious about how i look, making sure that i look pretty enough, that what i'm wearing is always cute and fashionable, that i'm constantly watching my weight and body under the pretense of health instead of appearance, and so many other things, those being similar issues that porter also struggled with due to his fame & position as an artist was really a "wow, i didn't think of that until now" moment to me. where a lot of the other themes in smile! :D were either very blatant or already touched upon in his other works to an extent, kitsune maison freestyle coming out of nowhere like that along with the funny irl event was really provoking to me. it might get some minor hate for being a single over some of the other tracks in smile! :D that could have been but it's suchhhhh a great and slept on track to me, and it went crazy both of the times i saw it live.
This is a banger
Year of the cup has slowly become my favorite song along with Russian roulette. Seeing this album live was an experience I will never forget.
As someone from the Philippines show (THAT JUST HAPPENED), correct.
Amazing vid
good video
WE'RE SO BACKKKK
"i just wanted to blend into the background"
AREN'T YOU TIRED OF BLENDING INTO THE BACKGROUNDDDDD
hey jack! really happy to see a second video of yours and i hope the reception on the nurture video and this one will continue motivating you to make content! dont be afraid of stepping outside of porter's music (there is not much left to cover on him anyway) and going after your other personal favourites, as your enthousiasm for these videos is infectious. i hope you're feeling better now than you did 1,5 months ago because clearly there is a lot of love and character in you. i'll repeat my message: discover and do at your own pace, as long as you are happy you are doing well
thanks for the video! much love again, from belgium
aw thank you so much for your continued support and kind words! love + appreciate u sm bro
Came across your music recently and its really nice. May i ask what DAW do you use?
FL
true
SMILE! :D
Honestly, his music doesn’t really do much for my mental health, but I guess that’s okay.
Yes i agree :>
fellow highschool dropout here. got an equivalent diploma by doing 4 tests and passing without studying. I'm from Canada, but a lot of it was common knowledge.
If Nuture was ambient beauty of nature and passion of art.
Then Smile is that one quirky rock band like they're Weezers, if they know how to use FL Studio.
It's funny this is similar to Chromokopia where they tackle their personal life during their peak of fame while addressing their problems within their own perspective fandom.
Like, example, Noid being about Tyler's paranoia from the fandom, then we got Cheerleader where Porter is concerned about them worshipping him like a God or something idk lol.
Or Thought I Was Dead where he mocks the people who hates Tyler.
And then we got Knock Yourself where he also gives a bit of middle finger to the haters too.
And another example, Tommorow where Tyler chose his own selfish ways of not getting married or having a child that his mama wished for, due to that, he still reflecting and being concerned about his future since time is catching up to him. Then we got Easier to Love You where Porter or somebody was in already in the future but is not actually currently happy unlike what have they promised from their past selfs.
Both of them are still 'moving on' songs towards the future regardless of their own choices..
peak!
Maybe it will
But you know what will ALSO save your life?
Heavener by Invent, Animate :D
Give it a listen! You wont regret it
now do a vid about acloudyskye. You will fall down another rabbit hole trying to understand it all and spending hours on genius, but it will be worth it
a weird question but do u still play hypixel?
got this vid in fyp and i think it's good but i don't listen to porter robinson at all
no not really anymore, thanks for watching though :)
:D
【=◈︿◈=】
wish i could enjoy this album but I can't. one of my biggest disappointments of the year
rough man, sorry
Great video