Hope the sound is better in this video? Let me know what you think about Nigerian/African women and marriage in the comments! Hair is from NuolaWigsUK ❤❤❤❤❤
SisiYemmie, this ya makeup is lovely. I love it. I am telling you. I am glad I got married in 2008. Back then it wasn't as bad as it is now. There was no Bella Naija wedding. It was Ovation magazine that we were looking at but the pressure wasn't that much. My dad even asked me, 'why do you want to get married now? won't you do master first?'
Hi Sisiyemmie, i met you, Bobo and Tito two nights ago, late at night (not appropriate to mention where, hopefully you remember). funny enough, i was watching your easter vlog just before you walked in. i was so excited, had to check twice if i was dreaming!!! lol. i sha had to "arrange" myself and behave, considering the circumstances. I also did my masters in UoB (partly why i started watching your vlogs, lol), and i can sooo relate to your vlogs. Anyway, it was nice to meet you and keep the good work going........
SisiYemmieTV I'm Liberian and I don't think its that we are obsesses with marriage. We come from a culture of togetherness where family rules. My husband is Nigerian and he is kind and respectful and sincere. Being his wife, I'm obsessed with 😊 that.
Great video Sisi! My parents just tried to stop my sister from buying a car because she's single and they fear that it would chase men away. My sister told them that she's going to buy the car because she wants to attract the right type of men who will not be intimidated by her accomplishments. Best reply ever!!!
Well I'm a 33 year old Jamaican woman with a PhD in Economics, and zero marriage options in sight. I thank God that Jamaica is more accepting of single women. I'm focused on becoming financially stable, buying my car cash, and getting my house. I can no longer be bothered about this marriage issue. I just want to be able to take care of myself very well and give back to my family and society.
but majority Jamaican men are extremely disrespectful, incapable of commitment and very fuckin promiscuous! all men are but my experience with Jamaican men! Jesu.. good luck
Judith majesty That's a generalisation....let's be honest even married Nigerian men have girlfriends on the side and alot of it is marriage in name only. I see lots of Carribbean married couples that have been married for many years while many African ones are divorcing or living in misery.
Judithmajesty to say the majority of Jamaican men are disrespectful and incapable of commitment is a harsh generalisation. Maybe the ones you've come across have been but still not enough to label a whole nationality of men tbh.
Both of the above comments are true. I am Jamaican engaged to a Nigerian and can say I've seen both issues. Living in England, I've noticed the rush for marriage in the black church community is the lack of eligible men and gender imbalance within the church. But when I went to Lagos. I can say I have never seen such a fruitful population of both males and females in all my travels. I really don't understand why people are stressing themselves about marriage there. Everything is for it's time. God will do it.
Wow! Now I think of it, your totally right. When I got married one of my Nigerian uncles told me that I've "done well". I was so annoyed like... when I graduated- didn't I do well. When I was earning a living, paying my own bills, living on my own- didn't I do well. When I decided to further my career- didn't I do well. Clearly not. It was only until I got married that in his eyes I had done well. Thankfully I grew up in a home of independent women who never made me feel as though I should aspire to get married, maybe it would have been a different case if I grew up in Nigeria. My boys will also learn how to be domestic at home as well as my girl. Great topic.
Wow! Honestly it's just sad that only when a women gets married then only then she has "done well". Thank you for that last comment, I always say this, teach both your boys and girls how to be domesticated! xx
I was just talking about this with Omabelle yesterday. It's just sad that some Nigerian families make their female children uncomfortable at home when they hit a certain age, some of them don't even care who you marry, they just want you to leave the house so that they can prove a point to their friends. Nigeria has some how managed to raise an entire generation of women who are extremely independent, they raised them to believe that they have to do everything for everyone, take care of everyone but then at the same time they've also raised men who are extremely independent on the same women but in a very privileged way.
I started watching African movies over 10 years ago, and I noticed that almost every movie involves people getting married or getting engaged. That was when I realized that there was a big difference between how marriage is viewed in the U.S. and various countries in Africa. I am 35 living on my own, working, and pursuing my master's degree. No husband, no children. From what you just described in the video, I would be treated like I had the plague if I was living in Nigeria. Although I have a feeling that my status will be changing soon, I relish in the joy of singleness and get a little sad thinking of how I am coming to the end of an era lol. Marriage is beautiful, but so is being single. I hope more women embrace it and take advantage of how their time is their's. Travel and see the world, start a business, buy a house, strengthen your relationship with God, eat cereal for dinner, sleep in late on the weekends, enjoy having nice things, bathe in the solitude of how quiet your house is, take mini weekend vacations, THERE IS SO MUCH YOU CAN DO! I ain't jealous of none of my married friends...not one lol.
virtuous CEOlady Thanks for your reply. Single and married women should be celebrated. Women should not be forced into marriage because the way society perceive single women. No point marrying just to please the society. Nigeria needs to change and celebrate our hand working single women for their contribution to the society.
I really appreciate this comment. Since I came to uni and started being around Nigerians I.e. At church, I have noticed that the topic of marriage and being married is so highly esteemed and so favourable that a lot of the youths forget about the importance of being single and content - They believe that if they just married, they have arrived and with the rise of sites like Bellanaija, the wedding day has become an even bigger obsession! Like you said, there is so much blessing in being single and if your desire marriage, it will come but we should enjoy the season and not be in a hurry to jump into the LIFE-LONG commitment of marriage just because it seems like the next thing to do. Take time to simply enjoy life for what it is and develop yourself so that you can be a blessing to your future spouse, it's not all about what your spouse can give you. Also, we singles should be careful of the amount of time we spend watching wedding celebrations on social media, while it's not a bad thing it can easily turn marriage or weddings into an idol in your life. I am really grateful that I have the support from my family to develop myself without constantly feeling that my worth as a female is tied to the man I need to marry immediately after I graduate.
When I turned 27, my mom was on my neck being a single Igbo girl living on my own,with my own car and stuff. ( apparently she doesn't want me to intimidate men) at some point I stopped taking her calls in the morning because I don't want anyone to spoil my day. My big sis too. Jeez!! This is the reason most women end up miserable, getting married to the wrong guy and stuff.
Chisom Okonkwo true Chisom. the family pressure is so much. i live abroad and worship in a church full of Nigerian women. Trust me marriage is more like a trophy for them. I have answered million questions on when am getting married and all that. Most times its so embarassing.
(Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) said it best: We teach girls to shrink themselves To make themselves smaller We say to girls "You can have ambition But not too much You should aim to be successful But not too successful Otherwise you will threaten the man" Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage I am expected to make my life choices Always keeping in mind that Marriage is the most important Now marriage can be a source of Joy and love and mutual support But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage And we don't teach boys the same? We raise girls to each other as competitors Not for jobs or for accomplishments Which I think can be a good thing But for the attention of men We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings In the way that boys are Feminist - the person who believes in the social Political, and economic equality of the sexes
Yes! you should do all things you listed above because at the end of the day, if you are a rich woman, you probably would not want to marry a poor man because poverty is not a masculine trait women generally look for.
Your video is spot on. Im a 29 y/o Nigerian American, living in the US and feel pressure from extended family to get married, even though no prospects are around. So, it just doesn't make sense. Because if I marry a fool, the headache & stress of the marriage falls on me alone. Those doing the pressuring will not take my place or even be of real help in my marital distress. Peaceful singlehood trumps sham marriage. So, thanks SisiYemmieTV for this entertaining & educational video. The marriage wahala needs to end..
Peaceful singlehood trumps sham marriage..This! you nailed it, sis. PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. You are very correct in saying that the headache&stress of the marriage will lie on you alone. That's just the way it is...you don't wanna learn the hard way from experience, trust me, it.s not worth it.
I always say this...Most seminars and conferences on Marriage are tailored or made for women,right from birth,the female gender has been geared and prepared for "the ultimate goal" of marriage,BUT who's speaking to the Men,who's speaking to them,who's training them for this..Society feels that being Male means you're in charge and ready for marriage automatically,you can do and undo...Mahn,what do I know! I refuse to be bothered Sisi😥.
so much truth in this video, so much pressure to get married quick quick. if only that much pressured was placed on women to chase thier dreams and achieve thier life goals! and the funny thing is your not even allowed to be having boyfriends until you finish education yet are somehow supposed to be engaged the moment you graduate 😄.
@Zee Cee that is it o. Nigerian parents don't want to hear that word "boyfriend". All they want is to suddenly hear their daughter say 'This is the man I want to marry'.
Very true, my big sister got married two weeks ago and she just turned 26 a day ago. Although she made the step, my parents are already looking in my direction to be next. I mean i don't mind getting married but that will be when the time is right, just a 24yr old looking to pursue her masters hence marriage is definitely not my priority right now.. Parents need to give their daughters some breathing space, give them time to grow, mature mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually because they will be needing it to stay in a lifetime commitment.. I always say forever is a long time to be unhappy, take your time ladies.
Until Nigerians learn marriage is not the height of achievement they will never get things right. If Ava du'vernay, Oprah, Shonda Rhimes were to be Nigerians their achievements and relevance in the economy wouldn't be taking this far . Thank you Sisi Yemmie for this video. #adisawashere
Not just living in Nigeria, just have Nigerian parents in general, can be at home or yankee..doesnt marra, you'll start hearing my friend, why aren't you married, what are you waiting for...i can't shout😥
I think African people in general are obsessed with marriage. Great points sis. I think the pressures comes from society, family, or for some when they see others get married, some feel that their clock is ticking. One of my aunts once told me "a woman has no value unless she's married ". I'm just like wow. It's crazy because some of these people who are married are not even happy. Don't even get me started with these guys who are not even loyal. Sisi Yemmie great video sis.
Very valid. I strongly believe that the way "Nigerian men" are raised is part of why many marriages have issues today. When a woman is locked up at home by her parents and d brothers are allowed to do whatever they like, of course it will continue in marriage.
You couldn't have said it better Sisi. Something else that doesn't add up is that they say a man's job is to provide for the family (working) while the woman is to take care of the home, but now most women also assist in providing for the family and they also take care of the home while doing so. Men should also assist in caring for the home. "...The two shall become one"
Funny, I made a video a year ago discussing africans, marriage, & the pressure on women by family members & friends to get married by a certain age. I was told to remove the video because "I wasn't married and it looks bad." So being single means you don't have a voice? It means you can't question the societal pressures and why young beautiful women are crying on their pillows every night as a result of the hurtful comments by africans saying something must be wrong with you because you're single? Ok oooo
O my goodness, Yemmie, the part where u were like ahh, see my life, no one has been asking me any questions talkless of me saying yes. Im in tears of laughter. Even when you were like ppl getting married and you didnt even know they were dating and then on instagram, Theyre like "I said yes" So true!!!
I agree with everything you have said. It is sad when society thinks a woman's worth is tied to whether she is married or not. In the North it is even worse!!! I remember when I was a teen and thinking about university only to find out my fathers friends & relatives were thinking about arranged marriage for me! God Forbid! Leaving was my only escape. For many years in America I felt I was not the marrying type. I felt marriage was an obligation -a trap -but luckily I met my husband who was my best friend first. He respected me, encouraged my education and made me laugh often. Getting married was my choice. My opinion of marriage changed and I can not imagine my life without him now.
It's time those churches start organising marathon prayer sessions and conferences for the men teaching them to be cautious, kind and have emotional intelligence. I have always said it, the African boy child is orientated incorrectly it's why the African woman is generally very physically fatigued and unhappy
I feel like a lot of the reason ppl give you more respect when you're married is bc they don't want to disrespect someone when they don't know who their husband is. So, it's not really that YOU as a woman are commanding the respect, lowkey it's still all about the patriarchy.
@ Adora Ezike Im nigerian american igbo and this Western matriarchal way of life is eroding, and eruope will soon get engulfed I think the african way is better. Africa have been a patriarchy for thousand of years lets keep it that way please. patriarchy is the key to a nuclear successful family if we smash it then who will build civilization. oh my goodness cant you people see the divorce rate in america and the bastard children walking around stop being selfish. Everyone has a role to play in life if you leave your role the whole thing comes crashing down for everybody both men and women. Please dont copy obama, he is the president of USA not president of Africa. Next thing will be homosexually for africa tufiakwa
Hi John, Africa was not as patriarchal as before colonialism, if you knew your History. Marriage did not exist in the modern sense, because it is purely religious and our native religions did not always care about marriage. Women's worth were not tied to marriage, and women's role were not kitchen and the men's role to provide. That was brought with colonialism. Of course they had different roles even before that, but they were not as oppressive towards women as they are now. You can read on it. Some African ethnic groups were even matriarchal, so no patriarchy is not an African thing, per se.
joy banks how do you explain polygamy in Africa. Heck my grandpa had 3 wives. I'm not saying we should oppress women. Plus the bibmee say men should live their wives as Christ loves the church right before saying the man is the head of the family and the wives. You guys wanna doom us, I don't want the famy structure america currently has for Africa. Most of the world is as cultured as Africa just like India and China why is it everybody wanna tell Africa what to do oh my goodness. American was not like this before they only got like this after they became successful and Africa is not at that stage yet, please you guys don't destroy Africa we are still trying to fix the one got now. You gonna have to sacrifice feminism for now please, it's something we can't afford right now.
Liz A oh and by the way I like you and know your intentions is for the good of Africans and I thank you for it. And I'm not in anyway trying to insult you. I think you are African too and that makes you my kinfolk. But I think western culture is so shoved into your world view you see nothing better than it. This new movement is see a lot of young Africans that moving to America or was born there doing it. It's a pseudo intellectual stance that makes Africa look weak by arguing that we had Christianity forced into us and that that our culture have all been erase because of Christianity. That's a lie if anything Christianity helps makes our culture better and strengthens us. The igbos had almost identical culture as the Hebrews, we circumscribed male babies on the 8th day cleansing and watching and animal sacrifice and many other things like the Jews. Go look it up. I don't wanna seem like I'm attacking you its just the ideas you have. We are both kinfolk from the motherland.
Such a wonderful piece. This is why a lot of men do not treat women with respect and it even extend to the inlaws. She leaves her father's house, becomes a part of you, instead of you both to learn, study and adapt to each other, it is still the woman that has to adapt and learn to live with and tolerate your bad behaviors, it is the woman's duty, to take care of the household chores, even when there is no strength left in her. The only responsibility of a man in marriage is to work and make money. All in the name that the man is the head; what is the woman then? The tail or the slave 😐😐😐 #LordHaveMercy. This is discrimination in the highest order. God knows my son will not grow to have such backward mentality and believe. Thanks for sharing this piece. I hope God hears and come to our aid someday.
Sisi I total agree with you, I am in my late 20s now and I have been getting unnecessary comment from my family members, sisters, aunties, brothers and even bosses in at work with regard marriage and when I will get married. It can be very very annoying. I was 14 when I would mistakingly prepare soup with the head and scaly part of shiny fish and my sister who was then married would tell me if that is how I would be cooking in my husbands house and then I begin to wonder how does my cooking at 14 relate to husband house.
same situation with not having children after marriage every call is prayer u will have twins lol
7 років тому+39
I'm from the U.S. and marriage and family was drilled in my head since I was a little girl. My mother bought me a kitchen set when I was 4 years old. She believed that would teach me that a woman's place is the kitchen when she get's a husband. My first doll I played with were the wedding couple, Barbie and Ken. My mother told me to wait until I get married to have sex and my dad wouldn't allow boys to call our house. I was taught to never live with a man who I wasn't married to. My mother and I attended numerous wedding shows here in America before I was even dating. My mother even bought my wedding dress before I was actually engaged. So to make a long story short, I have been engaged since June 2016. It happened when I least expected it. My fiance surprised me! My wedding is this year in August. Yes, since I am the only daughter in my father's house, my fiance and I are having a grand wedding!
Very well said sis. In Nigeria, There is so much hype attached to weddings. Getting married has almost become a tick box exercise and this should not be the case. There is more focus on the 'big wedding' than the marriage itself. Parents are not helping matters with the pressure they exert on their daughters (even sons are getting it too). Marriage is ordained by God and the God set time should be the focus.
Loved this video so much, your points were indeed very valid and so true in the Nigerian society. I'm 25 and single and I'm also the first child so imagine the pressure lol, it's a thing of fasting and prayers for my mum lol. It's funny but it actually isn't and it's something we should take seriously and talk about because this pressure is the reason why divorce rate and the rate at which people cheat in Nigeria is high and why a lot of marriages in Nigeria are generally not successful. Women are not encouraged to make something out of their lives, they're not pushed, they're raised with the mentality that getting married is the ultimate goal and they in turn push this mentality onto their female children and thus the cycle continues. We need to break this cycle cos this cycle also makes men feel like they're doing women a favor by marrying them and saving them from the 'stigma' of being a single woman and thus expects her to be his slave all the days that she may live. We need to groom our kids both male and female from a tender age not to grow up with this mentality. Thanks for a great video as always Sisiyemi 💋💋
I stubbled on to your channel but found the content to be provocative, but extremely well thought out and useful. I am an older white western man, i lived in New York, NY all my life and discovered this most amazing, intelligent, talented and beautiful Nigerian woman. Your video helped me to understand her mind set perfectly. Thank You. You have earned yourself another Subscriber. Anthony
And this is the reason for high rate of Domestic Violence in Africa in general especially Nigeria. Women go into marriage despite tortures, family will tell you to stay and pray. Telling you the man will change. At the end Children became motherless when this men eventually kill these women. Our cultures look at marriage as a trophy. Women spend all time to make it right. While the man on his part is doing nothing to make it better. I think Marriage seminars should concentrate on educating men on making marriage work too. Most times its all about Women.
Exactly until they kill their daughter lol We just refuse to differentiate between reality and dreams Dreams come through but not all dreams come through but reality is what u see and can act on as fast as possible
@desree00 i knowwww....... I've been watching sisyemmie since she had like 5k subscribers ....... she's mentioned it a lot and she knows the colour looks good on her...... but Imma keep saying it lol......cos yellow on me looks like a taxi😂
Thank u for saying that. People need to know that marriage is the most important decision in a human being's life. It does not matter if u are successful or not, once u make the wrong decision, it will affect ur whole life. So people need to be more than serious about that not going to marriage because they want to stop gossip and shame around them. I understand that the pressure of the society is real but once u suffer, specially women, u will hear everybody telling u that it is marriage it is for better or worst and it is forever, because u know that if u divorce , the same society will blame not the man but the woman. So please women out there make sure that u take the time to really know the person u bring into ur life. Peace.
My sister I agree with your ideas are valid. I have noticed that since I have been married society does definitely treat me with greater respect. It is not just a Nigerian or African idea. It is a Caribbean idea also. In Toronto, Canada where I live the society here treats me with a greater respect. I think marriage should be a goal for everyone. Keep making videos.
Omg!! You're spot on !! I'm 23 & my mother is always banging on about 'being a good wife to my husband' any little thing she says 'is this how you're going to act in your husband house' . As Nigerians marriage is the main purpose of life TBH lol it's so bad.
LOL!! This is FACTS! Literally EVERYTHING you said is what I try to explain to my American friends but they don't understand the expectations, the society and the thought process.
not only Nigerian women most women and half the time I doesn't work and it's unfortunate for those who are obsessed, not every woman is going to get married PERIOD!!!
Not at all Moustapha fadilath, I am african from the southern Part of Africa, no pressure at all, never heard of anyone ask someone about or talk marrige.
omg!!!!! you really hit the nail on the head, Sisi! when i left Nigeria, it was hard discovering who i was aside from a potential wife, drove me nearly to depression, smh. I hope things change for women in Nigeria soon, its not nice at all.
Sisi Yemmie, you have spoken well. You actually hit the nail on the head when you said you were in a hurry to be married at a point when you saw your age clock ticking 29. You wanted to be able to see your grandchildren at a not-so-old age and basically, this is the same reason why Nigerian parents pressure their daughters into marriage. Have you thought of the possibility that your child or children might decide to get married late hence, give you the grandchildren you projected to have early, later than you imagined? In that case, how would you react? You'd most likely pressure your children into marriage just like the typical Nigerian parent would. Then, the pattern continues. In a nutshell, my point is that girls/ladies shouldn't allow the thought of having grand babies early in life influence their rush into marriage rather, they should be more deliberate about why they want to marry and to whom they will be married. My 20cents!
My mum always says ' is that how you will be dressing in your husbands house' when I wear warm frumpy clothes in the winter 😓😓 so I should choose being sexy over being warm at home when it's cold in London lol 😂
When you live in Nigeria, the pressure is not only on women. It the same for we guys as well especially if you are the only son. The pressure is very very crazy.
Sisi Yemmie, I agree with you 100%. The Nigerian society and family structure has made the average Naija female to look up to marriage as the all in all. And this is making some of our naija brothers to think that they are doing their wives a HUGE favour. I read this somewhere, "there's nothing wrong in aspiring to be the wife of a president, but there's also absolutely nothing wrong in becoming the husband of the president."
I am Congolese, 20, and I can relate so much to what you've said regarding how you are raised to aspire for marriage. I feel its more of an African thing than a Nigerian thing.
i was dating this guy in college and we went for dinner at his brother-in-laws house. idk how the conversation started but i told them that i want to get my PhD. and they proceeded to tell me that that was too much education for a woman. that masters is enough and you're wasting time when you could be using that time to find your mate or get married. and it was the sister in law that told me, the men just cosigned. i was so shocked. that was the first time i have ever heard someone tell me something like that. like they were actually advising me to limit myself. i thank the lord that growing my my mother or immediate family NEVER sowed this seed into my head. my mom is a little female activist and so are her children lol. i told my mom and she said TUFIAQWA! lol im not saying that my mom doesn't want to see her children married but the lectures i get is more so make sure you are a good person and make sure the man you marry is a good person and knows god, is supportive and loves you. not to belittle my potential for another person ego.
Sisi yemmie you hit the nail on the head with this video and it is unfortunate that we Nigerian women have to deal with these issues. It is up to us to change this orientation. Let's live & enjoy our lives which are already complete in christ. If marriage comes fine, if it doesn't come fine. Let us also as women not pressure ourselves or our fellow women into marriage. It will even make the men respect & treat us better.
Many women who let themselves be hustled off into marriage also lose out on the opportunity to discover themselves. Taking time after your education to figure out your purpose in life (other than to care for a man and bear offspring) helps you become stronger, more independent and even smarter in handling relationships. There's something about figuring out what to do with all the time you have, working on yourself to be the best person you can be, being financially and logistically responsible for your own well being, etc, that makes you grow. I am convinced that being a mature bride only increases one's chances of making those crucial first few years of marriage enjoyable and mutually rewarding. My 27 (almost 28) year old self is way more mature and successful than my 24/25 year old self. This also means that I am able to make a more deliberate choice of a mate to go through life with (someone who has also taken the time to develop himself and can therefore value me).
I do not generally comment on videos... but you popped up and woman you spoke so much truth. This video made me partially sad and I had so many yes moments because this is not how society shapes a Nigerian woman, but women at large, we are all conditioned to think like that. I am a South African woman and I am 29, I am getting married to the love of my life in 26 days time... people expect me to be over the moon, marriage to me is not an achievement, and they be like "ÿou're lucky"LOL as if my fiance is doing me a favour lol. I am officially subscribing to your channel.
Aunty Sisi, you have NEVER lied. Everything you said was 1000% true! Chei we Nigerian women, we are strong. It is sad but it is true, you aren't respectable in Nigerians eyes until you have Mrs in front of your name. They even treat you like crap sometimes till you get married. If girls dont marry fast they will even sometimes be seen as promiscious, its frustrating but its centuries of culture that made it that way. Initially I think it was good intentions but some families take it way too far. Arabic girls and other cultures go through the same things too, they have similar family beliefs. Many girls make alot of mistakes because its not on God's time its on mama's time and marriage is not a game. God dey oh. It's only by God's grace. Can you talk next about the pressures the families put on the couples after marriage too? like kids etc. I would LOVE to hear your viewpoint and thoughts. Love you Sisi, you are a gift to our community, thanks for all you do and all your content! You are seriously a big sister
You hit so many nails on the head. We mothers have a major role to play in raising better men for the future. My sons shall be different from some of the stereotype men of our generation and generations past. The ego of men chai...... Ego no be every.
Mary- Creativity-is-life Amen I pray to raise good boys/men who will be supportive, loving, caring & respectful to their wives cos I would never want a son-in-law treating my daughter's has trash
I am happy you made this video. I am not married but about to & it is a good thing for me that I never got pressured by my parents to get married. The truth is that in Nigeria no one wants change so we keep following the same old marriage routine, like you said society & peer pressure. I really never cared about all that so probably that's why I'm not affected by them. What I would say to single ladies feeling pressured to getting married is that to always remember it's going to be you and your husband leaving together not every other person so build up yourselves and don't rush into marriage. marriage needs a 100% from both paties involved not 80% from your husbands & 20% from you. Thank you & keep up the good work.
You've just helped me somewhat understand an old friend of mine. She was a nice Nigerian girl ,well educated etc. She was infact Obsessed with marriage. However, I got the impression that apart from the urgency to get married she was on a spicific mission to get married or knocked up by a Caucasian man where she is in England. While I'm not African, it was rather disturbing how negatively she spoke of Nigerian /African men quite often. Thanks for giving an overview of Nigerian culture so I wouldn't be surprised next time. I'm a new subscriber. Cheers
wow!! you made me understand a lot of things... I'm Mexican and my husband is from Nigeria and sometimes he makes comments about marrige that I dont understand or I dont like... very good video.
@SisiYemmieTv, one of your best vlogs yet. A lot of things you raised here resonates highly across many countries in Africa not just in Nigeria. I very much identify with having friends inviting you for a wedding when you did not hear they had been dating even when you spend a lot of time together. I have heard of people who join more than one church in search of a husband. I don't understand the rush or NEED to be married as it is not something from childhood I have ever aspired to. My take is, if it happens then it happens. If it doesn't then it does not. I believe marriage is not for everyone and you cannot rush into something you do not know, which unfortunately most young women inevitably do because of pressure from family, friends you name it. Thank you for this. Very refreshing!
I hear about all this obsession about marriage in Nigeria.....I never had a marriage related discussion(or "is this how you will behave in your husband's house") talk with my mum. All she got was at 23 I said to her , mum, my friend asked me to marry him and I said OK" 😃 and she said OK. my family's focus was always educate until you can educate no more.
thank you SisiYemmie for this wonderful topic, you treated it like a real Nigerian woman and you said it exactly how it is. I pray we all get enlightened and get better notions about this whole issue. I pity women who subject themselves to any marriage to avoid pressure from wherever, if by destiny such women are more successful than the man, she will end up been responsible for everything but still take orders for him, such women will be left with this question "what is the essence of this marriage in the first place" na me go carry the belle and still pay for delivery and buy all the baby will be needing. na me go drop money for food and na me go still cook the food, serve and still clear plates and wash wetin! wetin!! wetin Na!!! what then makes such man a "man" his third leg between his legs?
lool... sisiyemmie i can totally relate... sometimes i forget to put napkins when i serve my dad! he goes like 'u better change so thats how u will be forgetting in ur husbands house, je ko mora'
lool sisi yemmie you're looking extra good in this video... btw I almost didn't click into this video, tired of the marriage talk, glad I watched though...let me add my 2 cents... I didn't start feeling the pressure to get married till I moved to Nigeria 2 years ago (I'm not there now and I'm feeling freeee lool) Also I know a single lady who got handymen to do some jobs in her house, when they got there they refused to talk to her and told her to go and call her husband that she won't understand (she was sooooo upset!) Abi is it when you're driving, that if you make small mistake they'll hiss and say 'mtcheeww na woman'. It sometimes has its perks though, like a time I had a flat tyre and I was trying to change it (I know how to change a flat tire) but a group of men flocked around me and helped me change it sharpaly sharpaly (I guess they believed na woman she no go fit do am)... me what is my own, I kuku let them do it and relaxed myself looolll (plenty stories of my naija chronicles but don't let me take all the space in your comment section) hehehe
Correct! This video is God inspired. Boys/men, help your wives at home. You did not marry a housemaid. Everything works beautifully when you help your wives. God bless you you Sisi
sisi girl, u are on point. .it's a culture thing...for really. .I'm glad people are talking about it now. .we the Millennium are changing that culture for better...l enjoyed watching u...awesome video. thanks
Hahaha I had to pause at you thinking about your child's wedding even before you got married! But everything you said is really spot on! I never believed that until I moved back and moved to Lagos. The respect they give once there's a ring on your finger is just obvious. And thinking that every single girl is an ashewo is just plain sad. Like it genuinely breaks my heart thinking about how far Nigeria still needs to go in respecting and valuing women, but we can only pray we get there and ALSO teach our sons right from time to respect women, teach them how to be domesticated, basically empower both our male and female child so they don't grow up thinking one gender is more important than the other. If I continue typing I might end up writing a novel so I might have to save all of that for my next video. You have spoken well Sisi Yemmie! xx
I am Zambian and I love your channel. I have always wondered why Nigerian women are so obsessed about marriage. There is pressure everywhere in Africa but nowhere as much as Nigeria. Thank you Sisyemmie for explaining and explaining well.
You are so right! Can't believe why our parents, and society put us through this. I actually talked about this issue. It's really so sad. Our girls now think of marriage more than they think of loving the man and building a home. Only to become crazy after marrying just for the sake of marriage.
Africains ladies in général are obsessed with marriage, especially when they start seeing their Friends getting marry, but attimes pressure comes from the parents and close relatives which finally push some ladies into the wrong marriages
I was having this conversation with my dad just yesterday. I am turning 25, graduating from university next year and still no boyfriend hmmmm. And my dads thought process was the same as yours. He had his life and mine all planned out and now the question is "oh girl watin dey happen" 😂. We still dey wait ooooo.
I live here in NYC and to be honest, marriage is a very very beautiful quality, I honestly wish more people here in the west had that same viewpoint, marriage is what continues a people and their culture. Blessings to you from 🇺🇸
Sisi this was hilarious and raw at the same time. I wanted to laugh & cry at the same time so I just listened & nodded my head like pesin wey dey for lecture. I havent read the comments yet but I am certain more than a few people have expressed majority of what I would have said. I will just touch on something that may looked glossed over/trivalised in the video. It is on bellanaija & the various social media... There was a period I binged on bella weddings, knowing fully well I wasnt getting married like tomorrow or anything like that. After a while, that sort of exposure will lead to feelings of frustration. I gave myself maximum respect. I am happy for all the women out there finding their true love but Sisi like you said, the pressure on Nigerian women is reeeeal. I cannot now come & kill myself by adding cyber pressure on top.
Wow. Sisi Yemmie you said it all. It gets worse when your friends start getting married and you're not even in a relationship. All those aunts too, they don't help asking questions all the time.
omo this marriage fantasy started from way back and what i mean is flower girl/little bride, all they know is what they actually see around them (white dresses, flowers, ring and a little boy to walk hand in hand and kiss). Like you said the society defintely has shaped this fantasy! @SisiYemmie very insightful content. Just started watching your blogs and will definately subscribe
Thanks Sisi Yemmie for always coming through with thought-provoking topics which I love. I just want to add a few things to what you said. There's this thing that some married women do 'looking down' on the single ones. Making them feel that they are not on the same level. They (married ones) don't discuss certain things with the single ones because they feel that the singles won't 'get' it. That's so wrong. There's a lot to learn from one another. Marriage is not for everyone. The sooner we realize that the better things will be. You, as a single person cannot decide that you are bored and getting married will solve that. Gurl! It will get worse! Be happy within yourself. Your happiness is numero uno. If you ain't happy and confident within yourself, you might fall prey to a spouse that will torture you mentally. Please, married ones, don't look at a single people in disgust because he or she feels that marriage is not for them or they are not ready for it. And No! They are not going around being promiscuous and all of that. Show some respect and be genuinely happy for one another. No condition is permanent, remember? Peace to you all! *muah*
This is on point. I'm African and single (in my 40s) and feel the pressure though from non family members (my immediate family doesn't pressure me at all, so happy). Thankfully, I'm not alone as I have several African women friends in my age group who are also single. I live in the US, by the way, which probably makes a huge difference.
its really crazy, sad and annoying the way nigerians in general are crazy about marriage.I dont understand why marriage should be an ultimate goal.alot of women are rushed into marriage and alot of them are living in depression and not discover who they are personally.The pathetic part of the situation is Nigerian men are so not taught anything about marriage.Then at the end of the day they have no life goals.For Nigeria to move forward This really have to change Women should discover themselves be enlightened on how they can be fulfilled and be useful for the society.Women should know they dont need a man o to live a fulfilled life.wen I got to the united state the difference is huge. Im proud to be a woman.Regards to all the women in the world.You are phenomenal never let anyone mislead u.Even Jesus christ didnt get married cos he has alot of assignment in the world.peace.
This video was very helpful. I met the sweetest most beautiful Kenyan woman on a dating site and had worries about her not being honest about liking me. She says she likes me alot but I thought she could be scamming me but you helped me understand what's really going on.
Very true and funny. I'm not Nigerian but I have so many Nigerian friends so I understand this topic almost fully. Please cover why Nigerians are almost just as obsessed I'm with having boys? You have beautiful eyes by the way.
Wow such a coincidence this popped up on my home page when I literally just finished trolling/arguing with my mom about marriage an hour ago LOL. I'm not exactly Nigerian, though my grandma was half. I'm Ghanaian but Hausa and I can relate to this all too well. Apart from just being African, being Hausa/Muslim makes it sooo much worse 😩😩 not only is marriage overemphasized it is RUSHED. I was in Ghana last summer and my poor cousin who was almost 26 literally couldn't go a SINGLE day without insults and mentions of marriage from our family members and neighbors. I felt sooo bad for her. In our culture if a woman isn't married by 25 it's considered shameful. 25 being the "modern" western adjustment btw lol. 2 men asked my parents for my hand within the first 2 months of the year both whom I rejected because I didn't know them like that and I wasn't interested or ready. My mom just finished harassing me, saying she was gonna call the first of the two suitors and I said if you wanna embarrass yourselves that's none of my business because my answer was final. Then she said I'm gonna be like my aunt (who was known to be very beautiful & intelligent but very picky and thus in her 40s & unmarried) and I was like yes exactly! I wanna be just like her!! 😂 I even took it a step further and said I was gonna stay with her forever and I got a string of drawn out insults in Hausa lol. Followed by a phrase that loosely translates to "then what's your purpose or blessing to me?" that kinda hurt, but I just laughed it off. The truth is, I'm scared. I don't trust men that I don't know coming out the blue asking for my hand because I'm known for being shy/modest but that's only one side of me. I'm a woman of many layers but these type of men only see the quiet side of me and I feel like they're preying on me. I don't trust men in general tbh lol. But yeah, this topic is so tired & overemphasized, I'm already fed up. Did I mention I'm barely 22!?! Lol
This message came on time. One guy who doesn't have a full time job always from one girl to the other, had the nerve to send me a LONG list of rules a WOMAN should keep for a happy marriage. I asked him what makes him qualified to give such advise as he's not a woman and who is telling the men what to do? I was pissed! One of the rules was, if your husband comes home with no money don't question him. I was like wtf?
Sisi yemmie .Ma you have said it all❤ No extract it's soo true this message needs to get across to young people and teens . there is this video on Facebook a girls was like quick tips to get a Nigerian guy marrie you sharp sharp.And after listening to your opinion I was like it's not a do or die please do more videos like this . food for thought 💝💟
You are absolutely right sisi yemmie. My mom will always say, will you do this and that in your husband house? And I always ask her, must everything be about husband and marriage?
Hope the sound is better in this video? Let me know what you think about Nigerian/African women and marriage in the comments! Hair is from NuolaWigsUK ❤❤❤❤❤
SisiYemmieTV yea..sound is better. Did you change the Microphone? Hope to see you when I visit naija.
Sisi, you ROCKed that hair. Always looking beautiful and ting. Now I'm heading over to Nuola Wigs UK for me hair too :P
SisiYemmie, this ya makeup is lovely. I love it. I am telling you. I am glad I got married in 2008. Back then it wasn't as bad as it is now. There was no Bella Naija wedding. It was Ovation magazine that we were looking at but the pressure wasn't that much. My dad even asked me, 'why do you want to get married now? won't you do master first?'
Hi Sisiyemmie, i met you, Bobo and Tito two nights ago, late at night (not appropriate to mention where, hopefully you remember). funny enough, i was watching your easter vlog just before you walked in. i was so excited, had to check twice if i was dreaming!!! lol. i sha had to "arrange" myself and behave, considering the circumstances.
I also did my masters in UoB (partly why i started watching your vlogs, lol), and i can sooo relate to your vlogs. Anyway, it was nice to meet you and keep the good work going........
SisiYemmieTV I'm Liberian and I don't think its that we are obsesses with marriage. We come from a culture of togetherness where family rules. My husband is Nigerian and he is kind and respectful and sincere. Being his wife, I'm obsessed with 😊 that.
Great video Sisi! My parents just tried to stop my sister from buying a car because she's single and they fear that it would chase men away. My sister told them that she's going to buy the car because she wants to attract the right type of men who will not be intimidated by her accomplishments. Best reply ever!!!
Well I'm a 33 year old Jamaican woman with a PhD in Economics, and zero marriage options in sight. I thank God that Jamaica is more accepting of single women. I'm focused on becoming financially stable, buying my car cash, and getting my house. I can no longer be bothered about this marriage issue. I just want to be able to take care of myself very well and give back to my family and society.
but majority Jamaican men are extremely disrespectful, incapable of commitment and very fuckin promiscuous! all men are but my experience with Jamaican men! Jesu.. good luck
Judith majesty That's a generalisation....let's be honest even married Nigerian men have girlfriends on the side and alot of it is marriage in name only. I see lots of Carribbean married couples that have been married for many years while many African ones are divorcing or living in misery.
I didn't say all I sd majority
Judithmajesty to say the majority of Jamaican men are disrespectful and incapable of commitment is a harsh generalisation. Maybe the ones you've come across have been but still not enough to label a whole nationality of men tbh.
Both of the above comments are true. I am Jamaican engaged to a Nigerian and can say I've seen both issues.
Living in England, I've noticed the rush for marriage in the black church community is the lack of eligible men and gender imbalance within the church.
But when I went to Lagos. I can say I have never seen such a fruitful population of both males and females in all my travels. I really don't understand why people are stressing themselves about marriage there. Everything is for it's time. God will do it.
Wow! Now I think of it, your totally right. When I got married one of my Nigerian uncles told me that I've "done well". I was so annoyed like... when I graduated- didn't I do well. When I was earning a living, paying my own bills, living on my own- didn't I do well. When I decided to further my career- didn't I do well. Clearly not. It was only until I got married that in his eyes I had done well. Thankfully I grew up in a home of independent women who never made me feel as though I should aspire to get married, maybe it would have been a different case if I grew up in Nigeria. My boys will also learn how to be domestic at home as well as my girl. Great topic.
Olamide Adela so your obligation as a woman is only to get married. You have just confirmed why sisiyemmi made this video! Shame on you.
Wow! Honestly it's just sad that only when a women gets married then only then she has "done well". Thank you for that last comment, I always say this, teach both your boys and girls how to be domesticated! xx
Muna Muoneke you is fine. Baby girl where you from
I was just talking about this with Omabelle yesterday. It's just sad that some Nigerian families make their female children uncomfortable at home when they hit a certain age, some of them don't even care who you marry, they just want you to leave the house so that they can prove a point to their friends. Nigeria has some how managed to raise an entire generation of women who are extremely independent, they raised them to believe that they have to do everything for everyone, take care of everyone but then at the same time they've also raised men who are extremely independent on the same women but in a very privileged way.
I started watching African movies over 10 years ago, and I noticed that almost every movie involves people getting married or getting engaged. That was when I realized that there was a big difference between how marriage is viewed in the U.S. and various countries in Africa. I am 35 living on my own, working, and pursuing my master's degree. No husband, no children. From what you just described in the video, I would be treated like I had the plague if I was living in Nigeria. Although I have a feeling that my status will be changing soon, I relish in the joy of singleness and get a little sad thinking of how I am coming to the end of an era lol. Marriage is beautiful, but so is being single. I hope more women embrace it and take advantage of how their time is their's. Travel and see the world, start a business, buy a house, strengthen your relationship with God, eat cereal for dinner, sleep in late on the weekends, enjoy having nice things, bathe in the solitude of how quiet your house is, take mini weekend vacations, THERE IS SO MUCH YOU CAN DO! I ain't jealous of none of my married friends...not one lol.
So glad you posted this!
virtuous CEOlady Africa and India; they take marriage to another level 😂
virtuous CEOlady Thanks for your reply. Single and married women should be celebrated. Women should not be forced into marriage because the way society perceive single women. No point marrying just to please the society. Nigeria needs to change and celebrate our hand working single women for their contribution to the society.
I really appreciate this comment. Since I came to uni and started being around Nigerians I.e. At church, I have noticed that the topic of marriage and being married is so highly esteemed and so favourable that a lot of the youths forget about the importance of being single and content - They believe that if they just married, they have arrived and with the rise of sites like Bellanaija, the wedding day has become an even bigger obsession!
Like you said, there is so much blessing in being single and if your desire marriage, it will come but we should enjoy the season and not be in a hurry to jump into the LIFE-LONG commitment of marriage just because it seems like the next thing to do. Take time to simply enjoy life for what it is and develop yourself so that you can be a blessing to your future spouse, it's not all about what your spouse can give you. Also, we singles should be careful of the amount of time we spend watching wedding celebrations on social media, while it's not a bad thing it can easily turn marriage or weddings into an idol in your life.
I am really grateful that I have the support from my family to develop myself without constantly feeling that my worth as a female is tied to the man I need to marry immediately after I graduate.
virtuous CEOlady
When I turned 27, my mom was on my neck being a single Igbo girl living on my own,with my own car and stuff. ( apparently she doesn't want me to intimidate men) at some point I stopped taking her calls in the morning because I don't want anyone to spoil my day. My big sis too. Jeez!! This is the reason most women end up miserable, getting married to the wrong guy and stuff.
Chisom Okonkwo yup....your last sentence is spot on!
Chisom Okonkwo haha so true!
Chisom Okonkwo true Chisom. the family pressure is so much. i live abroad and worship in a church full of Nigerian women. Trust me marriage is more like a trophy for them. I have answered million questions on when am getting married and all that. Most times its so embarassing.
That's very true Chisom! Delay doesn't mean denial !! Some of us thank God we didnt end up marrying someone lol
(Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie) said it best:
We teach girls to shrink themselves To make themselves smaller We say to girls "You can have ambition But not too much You should aim to be successful But not too successful Otherwise you will threaten the man" Because I am female I am expected to aspire to marriage I am expected to make my life choices Always keeping in mind that Marriage is the most important Now marriage can be a source of Joy and love and mutual support But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage And we don't teach boys the same? We raise girls to each other as competitors Not for jobs or for accomplishments Which I think can be a good thing But for the attention of men We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings In the way that boys are Feminist - the person who believes in the social Political, and economic equality of the sexes
This quote had me singing "Flawless" in my head. hahaha
Yes! you should do all things you listed above because at the end of the day, if you are a rich woman, you probably would not want to marry a poor man because poverty is not a masculine trait women generally look for.
Your video is spot on. Im a 29 y/o Nigerian American, living in the US and feel pressure from extended family to get married, even though no prospects are around. So, it just doesn't make sense. Because if I marry a fool, the headache & stress of the marriage falls on me alone. Those doing the pressuring will not take my place or even be of real help in my marital distress. Peaceful singlehood trumps sham marriage. So, thanks SisiYemmieTV for this entertaining & educational video. The marriage wahala needs to end..
Peaceful singlehood trumps sham marriage..This! you nailed it, sis. PLEASE DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. You are very correct in saying that the headache&stress of the marriage will lie on you alone. That's just the way it is...you don't wanna learn the hard way from experience, trust me, it.s not worth it.
I'm 27 and the only reason I'm ready to marry is because I'm ready to share my life with my best friend ☺️
I always say this...Most seminars and conferences on Marriage are tailored or made for women,right from birth,the female gender has been geared and prepared for "the ultimate goal" of marriage,BUT who's speaking to the Men,who's speaking to them,who's training them for this..Society feels that being Male means you're in charge and ready for marriage automatically,you can do and undo...Mahn,what do I know!
I refuse to be bothered Sisi😥.
Anita Now its time to strike a balance and talk to the men too. It should not be focused on women all the time
so much truth in this video, so much pressure to get married quick quick. if only that much pressured was placed on women to chase thier dreams and achieve thier life goals! and the funny thing is your not even allowed to be having boyfriends until you finish education yet are somehow supposed to be engaged the moment you graduate 😄.
@Zee Cee that is it o. Nigerian parents don't want to hear that word "boyfriend". All they want is to suddenly hear their daughter say 'This is the man I want to marry'.
Zee Cee sorry of my life
story of my life
lol.
Very true, my big sister got married two weeks ago and she just turned 26 a day ago. Although she made the step, my parents are already looking in my direction to be next. I mean i don't mind getting married but that will be when the time is right, just a 24yr old looking to pursue her masters hence marriage is definitely not my priority right now.. Parents need to give their daughters some breathing space, give them time to grow, mature mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually because they will be needing it to stay in a lifetime commitment.. I always say forever is a long time to be unhappy, take your time ladies.
Until Nigerians learn marriage is not the height of achievement they will never get things right. If Ava du'vernay, Oprah, Shonda Rhimes were to be Nigerians their achievements and relevance in the economy wouldn't be taking this far . Thank you Sisi Yemmie for this video. #adisawashere
This!!!!
Marriage is beautiful, but it should not be seen as a woman's greatest achievement. You are so right Sisi..
Obianuju Ndaguba being a wife is better than being single mother.
who says a woman's greatest achievement is giving birth!! Gosh i hate misogynistic men like you!!
Not just living in Nigeria, just have Nigerian parents in general, can be at home or yankee..doesnt marra, you'll start hearing my friend, why aren't you married, what are you waiting for...i can't shout😥
I think African people in general are obsessed with marriage. Great points sis. I think the pressures comes from society, family, or for some when they see others get married, some feel that their clock is ticking. One of my aunts once told me "a woman has no value unless she's married ". I'm just like wow. It's crazy because some of these people who are married are not even happy. Don't even get me started with these guys who are not even loyal. Sisi Yemmie great video sis.
Very valid. I strongly believe that the way "Nigerian men" are raised is part of why many marriages have issues today. When a woman is locked up at home by her parents and d brothers are allowed to do whatever they like, of course it will continue in marriage.
Uzoma Onoh basically. When it comes to marriage, women basically do follow follow to their detriment.
Uzoma Onoh, are you related to Adaudo Uzoma who lives in Maryland, USA by any chance?
No I am not.
You couldn't have said it better Sisi. Something else that doesn't add up is that they say a man's job is to provide for the family (working) while the woman is to take care of the home, but now most women also assist in providing for the family and they also take care of the home while doing so. Men should also assist in caring for the home.
"...The two shall become one"
Funny, I made a video a year ago discussing africans, marriage, & the pressure on women by family members & friends to get married by a certain age. I was told to remove the video because "I wasn't married and it looks bad." So being single means you don't have a voice? It means you can't question the societal pressures and why young beautiful women are crying on their pillows every night as a result of the hurtful comments by africans saying something must be wrong with you because you're single? Ok oooo
O my goodness, Yemmie, the part where u were like ahh, see my life, no one has been asking me any questions talkless of me saying yes. Im in tears of laughter. Even when you were like ppl getting married and you didnt even know they were dating and then on instagram, Theyre like "I said yes" So true!!!
I agree with everything you have said. It is sad when society thinks a woman's worth is tied to whether she is married or not. In the North it is even worse!!! I remember when I was a teen and thinking about university only to find out my fathers friends & relatives were thinking about arranged marriage for me! God Forbid! Leaving was my only escape. For many years in America I felt I was not the marrying type. I felt marriage was an obligation -a trap -but luckily I met my husband who was my best friend first. He respected me, encouraged my education and made me laugh often. Getting married was my choice. My opinion of marriage changed and I can not imagine my life without him now.
It's time those churches start organising marathon prayer sessions and conferences for the men teaching them to be cautious, kind and have emotional intelligence. I have always said it, the African boy child is orientated incorrectly it's why the African woman is generally very physically fatigued and unhappy
I feel like a lot of the reason ppl give you more respect when you're married is bc they don't want to disrespect someone when they don't know who their husband is. So, it's not really that YOU as a woman are commanding the respect, lowkey it's still all about the patriarchy.
very true
@ Adora Ezike Im nigerian american igbo and this Western matriarchal way of life is eroding, and eruope will soon get engulfed I think the african way is better. Africa have been a patriarchy for thousand of years lets keep it that way please. patriarchy is the key to a nuclear successful family if we smash it then who will build civilization. oh my goodness cant you people see the divorce rate in america and the bastard children walking around stop being selfish. Everyone has a role to play in life if you leave your role the whole thing comes crashing down for everybody both men and women. Please dont copy obama, he is the president of USA not president of Africa. Next thing will be homosexually for africa tufiakwa
Hi John, Africa was not as patriarchal as before colonialism, if you knew your History. Marriage did not exist in the modern sense, because it is purely religious and our native religions did not always care about marriage. Women's worth were not tied to marriage, and women's role were not kitchen and the men's role to provide. That was brought with colonialism. Of course they had different roles even before that, but they were not as oppressive towards women as they are now. You can read on it. Some African ethnic groups were even matriarchal, so no patriarchy is not an African thing, per se.
joy banks how do you explain polygamy in Africa. Heck my grandpa had 3 wives. I'm not saying we should oppress women. Plus the bibmee say men should live their wives as Christ loves the church right before saying the man is the head of the family and the wives. You guys wanna doom us, I don't want the famy structure america currently has for Africa. Most of the world is as cultured as Africa just like India and China why is it everybody wanna tell Africa what to do oh my goodness. American was not like this before they only got like this after they became successful and Africa is not at that stage yet, please you guys don't destroy Africa we are still trying to fix the one got now. You gonna have to sacrifice feminism for now please, it's something we can't afford right now.
Liz A oh and by the way I like you and know your intentions is for the good of Africans and I thank you for it. And I'm not in anyway trying to insult you. I think you are African too and that makes you my kinfolk. But I think western culture is so shoved into your world view you see nothing better than it. This new movement is see a lot of young Africans that moving to America or was born there doing it. It's a pseudo intellectual stance that makes Africa look weak by arguing that we had Christianity forced into us and that that our culture have all been erase because of Christianity. That's a lie if anything Christianity helps makes our culture better and strengthens us. The igbos had almost identical culture as the Hebrews, we circumscribed male babies on the 8th day cleansing and watching and animal sacrifice and many other things like the Jews. Go look it up. I don't wanna seem like I'm attacking you its just the ideas you have. We are both kinfolk from the motherland.
Such a wonderful piece. This is why a lot of men do not treat women with respect and it even extend to the inlaws. She leaves her father's house, becomes a part of you, instead of you both to learn, study and adapt to each other, it is still the woman that has to adapt and learn to live with and tolerate your bad behaviors, it is the woman's duty, to take care of the household chores, even when there is no strength left in her. The only responsibility of a man in marriage is to work and make money. All in the name that the man is the head; what is the woman then? The tail or the slave 😐😐😐 #LordHaveMercy. This is discrimination in the highest order. God knows my son will not grow to have such backward mentality and believe. Thanks for sharing this piece. I hope God hears and come to our aid someday.
Lol! I had my son at 38, I'm not thinking of his grandkids! Lol!
Sisi I total agree with you, I am in my late 20s now and I have been getting unnecessary comment from my family members, sisters, aunties, brothers and even bosses in at work with regard marriage and when I will get married. It can be very very annoying. I was 14 when I would mistakingly prepare soup with the head and scaly part of shiny fish and my sister who was then married would tell me if that is how I would be cooking in my husbands house and then I begin to wonder how does my cooking at 14 relate to husband house.
same situation with not having children after marriage every call is prayer u will have twins lol
I'm from the U.S. and marriage and family was drilled in my head since I was a little girl. My mother bought me a kitchen set when I was 4 years old. She believed that would teach me that a woman's place is the kitchen when she get's a husband. My first doll I played with were the wedding couple, Barbie and Ken. My mother told me to wait until I get married to have sex and my dad wouldn't allow boys to call our house. I was taught to never live with a man who I wasn't married to. My mother and I attended numerous wedding shows here in America before I was even dating. My mother even bought my wedding dress before I was actually engaged. So to make a long story short, I have been engaged since June 2016. It happened when I least expected it. My fiance surprised me! My wedding is this year in August. Yes, since I am the only daughter in my father's house, my fiance and I are having a grand wedding!
Sharé All Day Congratulations ☺ I wish you a great wedding ceremony and an amazing marriage
Thank you
Very well said sis. In Nigeria, There is so much hype attached to weddings. Getting married has almost become a tick box exercise and this should not be the case. There is more focus on the 'big wedding' than the marriage itself. Parents are not helping matters with the pressure they exert on their daughters (even sons are getting it too). Marriage is ordained by God and the God set time should be the focus.
Loved this video so much, your points were indeed very valid and so true in the Nigerian society. I'm 25 and single and I'm also the first child so imagine the pressure lol, it's a thing of fasting and prayers for my mum lol. It's funny but it actually isn't and it's something we should take seriously and talk about because this pressure is the reason why divorce rate and the rate at which people cheat in Nigeria is high and why a lot of marriages in Nigeria are generally not successful. Women are not encouraged to make something out of their lives, they're not pushed, they're raised with the mentality that getting married is the ultimate goal and they in turn push this mentality onto their female children and thus the cycle continues. We need to break this cycle cos this cycle also makes men feel like they're doing women a favor by marrying them and saving them from the 'stigma' of being a single woman and thus expects her to be his slave all the days that she may live. We need to groom our kids both male and female from a tender age not to grow up with this mentality. Thanks for a great video as always Sisiyemi 💋💋
I stubbled on to your channel but found the content to be provocative, but extremely well thought out and useful. I am an older white western man, i lived in New York, NY all my life and discovered this most amazing, intelligent, talented and beautiful Nigerian woman. Your video helped me to understand her mind set perfectly. Thank You. You have earned yourself another Subscriber.
Anthony
And this is the reason for high rate of Domestic Violence in Africa in general especially Nigeria. Women go into marriage despite tortures, family will tell you to stay and pray. Telling you the man will change. At the end Children became motherless when this men eventually kill these women. Our cultures look at marriage as a trophy. Women spend all time to make it right. While the man on his part is doing nothing to make it better. I think Marriage seminars should concentrate on educating men on making marriage work too. Most times its all about Women.
Exactly until they kill their daughter lol
We just refuse to differentiate between reality and dreams
Dreams come through but not all dreams come through but reality is what u see and can act on as fast as possible
Yemi ure looking so fine with that yellow top........
ann usman Thank you so much!!!
SisiYemmieTV please share ur weight loss secret. ..your looking good..
@desree00 i knowwww....... I've been watching sisyemmie since she had like 5k subscribers ....... she's mentioned it a lot and she knows the colour looks good on her...... but Imma keep saying it lol......cos yellow on me looks like a taxi😂
You are very gentle, reasonable and objective in your perspective and approach. Unlike the many rough talks out there. You deserve support, keep it up
''Is this how you will be breaking plates in your husband's house''... happens alot.. lol.
Thank u for saying that. People need to know that marriage is the most important decision in a human being's life. It does not matter if u are successful or not, once u make the wrong decision, it will affect ur whole life. So people need to be more than serious about that not going to marriage because they want to stop gossip and shame around them. I understand that the pressure of the society is real but once u suffer, specially women, u will hear everybody telling u that it is marriage it is for better or worst and it is forever, because u know that if u divorce , the same society will blame not the man but the woman. So please women out there make sure that u take the time to really know the person u bring into ur life. Peace.
My sister I agree with your ideas are valid. I have noticed that since I have been married society does definitely treat me with greater respect. It is not just a Nigerian or African idea. It is a Caribbean idea also. In Toronto, Canada where I live the society here treats me with a greater respect. I think marriage should be a goal for everyone. Keep making videos.
Omg!! You're spot on !! I'm 23 & my mother is always banging on about 'being a good wife to my husband' any little thing she says 'is this how you're going to act in your husband house' . As Nigerians marriage is the main purpose of life TBH lol it's so bad.
lets just pausebin honor of that fleeky thumbnail picture!!!👑 The queen has done it again o! 😉
pause in* lol
LOL!! This is FACTS! Literally EVERYTHING you said is what I try to explain to my American friends but they don't understand the expectations, the society and the thought process.
not only Nigerian women most women and half the time I doesn't work and it's unfortunate for those who are obsessed, not every woman is going to get married PERIOD!!!
Not only In Nigeria , it is pure Africa .
Moustapha Fadilath i think so too
Moustapha Fadilath i like it that way let's keep that way please
Not at all Moustapha fadilath, I am african from the southern Part of Africa, no pressure at all, never heard of anyone ask someone about or talk marrige.
they africa woman ask white guys after 8 hours for marriage,,.
Ireland,,,,
I saw this .. am like "I wonder ooo " I just can't with African mothers when it comes to marriage
omg!!!!! you really hit the nail on the head, Sisi! when i left Nigeria, it was hard discovering who i was aside from a potential wife, drove me nearly to depression, smh. I hope things change for women in Nigeria soon, its not nice at all.
You have a very kind mentality Sisi Yemmie. This made me feel less alienated for not yet being married. You look beautiful Xx
Sisi Yemmie, you have spoken well. You actually hit the nail on the head when you said you were in a hurry to be married at a point when you saw your age clock ticking 29. You wanted to be able to see your grandchildren at a not-so-old age and basically, this is the same reason why Nigerian parents pressure their daughters into marriage. Have you thought of the possibility that your child or children might decide to get married late hence, give you the grandchildren you projected to have early, later than you imagined? In that case, how would you react? You'd most likely pressure your children into marriage just like the typical Nigerian parent would. Then, the pattern continues. In a nutshell, my point is that girls/ladies shouldn't allow the thought of having grand babies early in life influence their rush into marriage rather, they should be more deliberate about why they want to marry and to whom they will be married. My 20cents!
The expression "your husband's house..." is what annoys the hell out of me...😡😡😡
aidenome05 yep. I agree
Even if you're the one paying the rent or you own it sef...😂
"husband's house".
My mum always says ' is that how you will be dressing in your husbands house' when I wear warm frumpy clothes in the winter 😓😓 so I should choose being sexy over being warm at home when it's cold in London lol 😂
When you live in Nigeria, the pressure is not only on women. It the same for we guys as well especially if you are the only son. The pressure is very very crazy.
Chukwuemeka Ugoanyanwu but i think , the pressure is more on women tho
Chukwuemeka Ugoanyanwu The pressure only falls on men once you've established yourselves. For women, it's as soon as we hit puberty lol.
+sarauniyaGH no be small thing...😂
Sisi Yemmie, I agree with you 100%. The Nigerian society and family structure has made the average Naija female to look up to marriage as the all in all. And this is making some of our naija brothers to think that they are doing their wives a HUGE favour. I read this somewhere, "there's nothing wrong in aspiring to be the wife of a president, but there's also absolutely nothing wrong in becoming the husband of the president."
I am Congolese, 20, and I can relate so much to what you've said regarding how you are raised to aspire for marriage. I feel its more of an African thing than a Nigerian thing.
i was dating this guy in college and we went for dinner at his brother-in-laws house. idk how the conversation started but i told them that i want to get my PhD. and they proceeded to tell me that that was too much education for a woman. that masters is enough and you're wasting time when you could be using that time to find your mate or get married. and it was the sister in law that told me, the men just cosigned. i was so shocked. that was the first time i have ever heard someone tell me something like that. like they were actually advising me to limit myself. i thank the lord that growing my my mother or immediate family NEVER sowed this seed into my head. my mom is a little female activist and so are her children lol. i told my mom and she said TUFIAQWA! lol im not saying that my mom doesn't want to see her children married but the lectures i get is more so make sure you are a good person and make sure the man you marry is a good person and knows god, is supportive and loves you. not to belittle my potential for another person ego.
Pleaseee Sisi do a Skin care routine,or products you use on your skin..Love you❤❤
Anita Hopefully i can do one as soon as i get it right...my skin is still struggling
Sisi yemmie you hit the nail on the head with this video and it is unfortunate that we Nigerian women have to deal with these issues. It is up to us to change this orientation. Let's live & enjoy our lives which are already complete in christ. If marriage comes fine, if it doesn't come fine. Let us also as women not pressure ourselves or our fellow women into marriage. It will even make the men respect & treat us better.
Many women who let themselves be hustled off into marriage also lose out on the opportunity to discover themselves. Taking time after your education to figure out your purpose in life (other than to care for a man and bear offspring) helps you become stronger, more independent and even smarter in handling relationships. There's something about figuring out what to do with all the time you have, working on yourself to be the best person you can be, being financially and logistically responsible for your own well being, etc, that makes you grow. I am convinced that being a mature bride only increases one's chances of making those crucial first few years of marriage enjoyable and mutually rewarding. My 27 (almost 28) year old self is way more mature and successful than my 24/25 year old self. This also means that I am able to make a more deliberate choice of a mate to go through life with (someone who has also taken the time to develop himself and can therefore value me).
I do not generally comment on videos... but you popped up and woman you spoke so much truth. This video made me partially sad and I had so many yes moments because this is not how society shapes a Nigerian woman, but women at large, we are all conditioned to think like that. I am a South African woman and I am 29, I am getting married to the love of my life in 26 days time... people expect me to be over the moon, marriage to me is not an achievement, and they be like "ÿou're lucky"LOL as if my fiance is doing me a favour lol. I am officially subscribing to your channel.
That yellowish orange top looks so glorious on you! Your timeline was spot on!!! Nigerian women at 28 become addicted to church for prayers 😘🙏🙏🙏
Gifi Amo Thank you so much!
Aunty Sisi, you have NEVER lied. Everything you said was 1000% true! Chei we Nigerian women, we are strong. It is sad but it is true, you aren't respectable in Nigerians eyes until you have Mrs in front of your name. They even treat you like crap sometimes till you get married. If girls dont marry fast they will even sometimes be seen as promiscious, its frustrating but its centuries of culture that made it that way. Initially I think it was good intentions but some families take it way too far. Arabic girls and other cultures go through the same things too, they have similar family beliefs. Many girls make alot of mistakes because its not on God's time its on mama's time and marriage is not a game. God dey oh. It's only by God's grace. Can you talk next about the pressures the families put on the couples after marriage too? like kids etc. I would LOVE to hear your viewpoint and thoughts. Love you Sisi, you are a gift to our community, thanks for all you do and all your content! You are seriously a big sister
Love this hair on you!! Unlike some others, I actually read where you got it from instead of asking over and over again. Yes I just threw shade 😎 lol
You hit so many nails on the head. We mothers have a major role to play in raising better men for the future. My sons shall be different from some of the stereotype men of our generation and generations past. The ego of men chai...... Ego no be every.
Mary- Creativity-is-life Amen I pray to raise good boys/men who will be supportive, loving, caring & respectful to their wives cos I would never want a son-in-law treating my daughter's has trash
Pls also raise your daughters (if you have) to not feel like their whole worth is based on marriage.
I am happy you made this video. I am not married but about to & it is a good thing for me that I never got pressured by my parents to get married. The truth is that in Nigeria no one wants change so we keep following the same old marriage routine, like you said society & peer pressure. I really never cared about all that so probably that's why I'm not affected by them. What I would say to single ladies feeling pressured to getting married is that to always remember it's going to be you and your husband leaving together not every other person so build up yourselves and don't rush into marriage. marriage needs a 100% from both paties involved not 80% from your husbands & 20% from you. Thank you & keep up the good work.
You've just helped me somewhat understand an old friend of mine. She was a nice Nigerian girl ,well educated etc. She was infact Obsessed with marriage. However, I got the impression that apart from the urgency to get married she was on a spicific mission to get married or knocked up by a Caucasian man where she is in England.
While I'm not African, it was rather disturbing how negatively she spoke of Nigerian /African men quite often. Thanks for giving an overview of Nigerian culture so I wouldn't be surprised next time. I'm a new subscriber. Cheers
hook her up to me..am a good nigerian man...lol
wow!! you made me understand a lot of things... I'm Mexican and my husband is from Nigeria and sometimes he makes comments about marrige that I dont understand or I dont like... very good video.
@SisiYemmieTv, one of your best vlogs yet. A lot of things you raised here resonates highly across many countries in Africa not just in Nigeria. I very much identify with having friends inviting you for a wedding when you did not hear they had been dating even when you spend a lot of time together. I have heard of people who join more than one church in search of a husband. I don't understand the rush or NEED to be married as it is not something from childhood I have ever aspired to. My take is, if it happens then it happens. If it doesn't then it does not. I believe marriage is not for everyone and you cannot rush into something you do not know, which unfortunately most young women inevitably do because of pressure from family, friends you name it. Thank you for this. Very refreshing!
I hear about all this obsession about marriage in Nigeria.....I never had a marriage related discussion(or "is this how you will behave in your husband's house") talk with my mum. All she got was at 23 I said to her , mum, my friend asked me to marry him and I said OK" 😃 and she said OK. my family's focus was always educate until you can educate no more.
Your make up always look flawless. Come to the US and do mines pleaseeee.
thank you SisiYemmie for this wonderful topic, you treated it like a real Nigerian woman and you said it exactly how it is. I pray we all get enlightened and get better notions about this whole issue. I pity women who subject themselves to any marriage to avoid pressure from wherever, if by destiny such women are more successful than the man, she will end up been responsible for everything but still take orders for him, such women will be left with this question "what is the essence of this marriage in the first place" na me go carry the belle and still pay for delivery and buy all the baby will be needing. na me go drop money for food and na me go still cook the food, serve and still clear plates and wash wetin! wetin!! wetin Na!!! what then makes such man a "man" his third leg between his legs?
I look forward to coming to Nigeria one day and to visit other countries in the motherland as well.
lool... sisiyemmie i can totally relate... sometimes i forget to put napkins when i serve my dad! he goes like 'u better change so thats how u will be forgetting in ur husbands house, je ko mora'
Tolu Olowookere lol! Je ko mora😂😂
lool sisi yemmie you're looking extra good in this video... btw I almost didn't click into this video, tired of the marriage talk, glad I watched though...let me add my 2 cents...
I didn't start feeling the pressure to get married till I moved to Nigeria 2 years ago (I'm not there now and I'm feeling freeee lool)
Also I know a single lady who got handymen to do some jobs in her house, when they got there they refused to talk to her and told her to go and call her husband that she won't understand (she was sooooo upset!)
Abi is it when you're driving, that if you make small mistake they'll hiss and say 'mtcheeww na woman'. It sometimes has its perks though, like a time I had a flat tyre and I was trying to change it (I know how to change a flat tire) but a group of men flocked around me and helped me change it sharpaly sharpaly (I guess they believed na woman she no go fit do am)... me what is my own, I kuku let them do it and relaxed myself looolll (plenty stories of my naija chronicles but don't let me take all the space in your comment section) hehehe
Correct! This video is God inspired. Boys/men, help your wives at home. You did not marry a housemaid. Everything works beautifully when you help your wives. God bless you you Sisi
sisi girl, u are on point. .it's a culture thing...for really. .I'm glad people are talking about it now. .we the Millennium are changing that culture for better...l enjoyed watching u...awesome video. thanks
Hahaha I had to pause at you thinking about your child's wedding even before you got married! But everything you said is really spot on! I never believed that until I moved back and moved to Lagos. The respect they give once there's a ring on your finger is just obvious. And thinking that every single girl is an ashewo is just plain sad. Like it genuinely breaks my heart thinking about how far Nigeria still needs to go in respecting and valuing women, but we can only pray we get there and ALSO teach our sons right from time to respect women, teach them how to be domesticated, basically empower both our male and female child so they don't grow up thinking one gender is more important than the other. If I continue typing I might end up writing a novel so I might have to save all of that for my next video. You have spoken well Sisi Yemmie! xx
Very true !!! preach sister, i just ta-ya for the marriage hype.....
I am Zambian and I love your channel. I have always wondered why Nigerian women are so obsessed about marriage. There is pressure everywhere in Africa but nowhere as much as Nigeria. Thank you Sisyemmie for explaining and explaining well.
You are so right! Can't believe why our parents, and society put us through this. I actually talked about this issue. It's really so sad. Our girls now think of marriage more than they think of loving the man and building a home. Only to become crazy after marrying just for the sake of marriage.
Africains ladies in général are obsessed with marriage, especially when they start seeing their Friends getting marry, but attimes pressure comes from the parents and close relatives which finally push some ladies into the wrong marriages
I was having this conversation with my dad just yesterday. I am turning 25, graduating from university next year and still no boyfriend hmmmm. And my dads thought process was the same as yours. He had his life and mine all planned out and now the question is "oh girl watin dey happen" 😂. We still dey wait ooooo.
I live here in NYC and to be honest, marriage is a very very beautiful quality, I honestly wish more people here in the west had that same viewpoint, marriage is what continues a people and their culture. Blessings to you from 🇺🇸
yes they are obsessed with Marriage and many not happy in it ,there is life after Marriage
This video is the ULTIMATE TRUTH!!!! thank you sisi yemmie. I wish some men would see this.
Sisi this was hilarious and raw at the same time. I wanted to laugh & cry at the same time so I just listened & nodded my head like pesin wey dey for lecture. I havent read the comments yet but I am certain more than a few people have expressed majority of what I would have said. I will just touch on something that may looked glossed over/trivalised in the video. It is on bellanaija & the various social media... There was a period I binged on bella weddings, knowing fully well I wasnt getting married like tomorrow or anything like that. After a while, that sort of exposure will lead to feelings of frustration. I gave myself maximum respect. I am happy for all the women out there finding their true love but Sisi like you said, the pressure on Nigerian women is reeeeal. I cannot now come & kill myself by adding cyber pressure on top.
Wow. Sisi Yemmie you said it all. It gets worse when your friends start getting married and you're not even in a relationship. All those aunts too, they don't help asking questions all the time.
Exactly Sisi, boredom is an important point. They don't have anything other thing to think about or do with their time
omo this marriage fantasy started from way back and what i mean is flower girl/little bride, all they know is what they actually see around them (white dresses, flowers, ring and a little boy to walk hand in hand and kiss). Like you said the society defintely has shaped this fantasy! @SisiYemmie very insightful content. Just started watching your blogs and will definately subscribe
Nawa thinking about unborn child's wedding...... I just love my family.... no pressure from anywhere o......
Thanks Sisi Yemmie for always coming through with thought-provoking topics which I love. I just want to add a few things to what you said. There's this thing that some married women do 'looking down' on the single ones. Making them feel that they are not on the same level. They (married ones) don't discuss certain things with the single ones because they feel that the singles won't 'get' it. That's so wrong. There's a lot to learn from one another. Marriage is not for everyone. The sooner we realize that the better things will be. You, as a single person cannot decide that you are bored and getting married will solve that. Gurl! It will get worse! Be happy within yourself. Your happiness is numero uno. If you ain't happy and confident within yourself, you might fall prey to a spouse that will torture you mentally. Please, married ones, don't look at a single people in disgust because he or she feels that marriage is not for them or they are not ready for it. And No! They are not going around being promiscuous and all of that. Show some respect and be genuinely happy for one another. No condition is permanent, remember? Peace to you all! *muah*
I like that the hair you chose to put in is of a texture that is realistic to the natural hair women of colour have. It looks great on you 👏🏾😘
This is on point. I'm African and single (in my 40s) and feel the pressure though from non family members (my immediate family doesn't pressure me at all, so happy). Thankfully, I'm not alone as I have several African women friends in my age group who are also single. I live in the US, by the way, which probably makes a huge difference.
Such old fashioned thinking, but I understand...😔 The struggle is real.
I love this topic, I'm just turned 24 and my mum is already on my neck concerning husband, my dad looks unbothered 😕
its really crazy, sad and annoying the way nigerians in general are crazy about marriage.I dont understand why marriage should be an ultimate goal.alot of women are rushed into marriage and alot of them are living in depression and not discover who they are personally.The pathetic part of the situation is Nigerian men are so not taught anything about marriage.Then at the end of the day they have no life goals.For Nigeria to move forward This really have to change Women should discover themselves be enlightened on how they can be fulfilled and be useful for the society.Women should know they dont need a man o to live a fulfilled life.wen I got to the united state the difference is huge. Im proud to be a woman.Regards to all the women in the world.You are phenomenal never let anyone mislead u.Even Jesus christ didnt get married cos he has alot of assignment in the world.peace.
This video was very helpful. I met the sweetest most beautiful Kenyan woman on a dating site and had worries about her not being honest about liking me. She says she likes me alot but I thought she could be scamming me but you helped me understand what's really going on.
Your hair is beautiful :) where is it from?
Tzone087 Thank you! its from NuolaWigsUK
Sisi on a yellow top sitting on a yellow chair just looking nothing but beautiful👌🏽
Very true and funny. I'm not Nigerian but I have so many Nigerian friends so I understand this topic almost fully. Please cover why Nigerians are almost just as obsessed I'm with having boys?
You have beautiful eyes by the way.
Wow such a coincidence this popped up on my home page when I literally just finished trolling/arguing with my mom about marriage an hour ago LOL. I'm not exactly Nigerian, though my grandma was half. I'm Ghanaian but Hausa and I can relate to this all too well. Apart from just being African, being Hausa/Muslim makes it sooo much worse 😩😩 not only is marriage overemphasized it is RUSHED. I was in Ghana last summer and my poor cousin who was almost 26 literally couldn't go a SINGLE day without insults and mentions of marriage from our family members and neighbors. I felt sooo bad for her. In our culture if a woman isn't married by 25 it's considered shameful. 25 being the "modern" western adjustment btw lol. 2 men asked my parents for my hand within the first 2 months of the year both whom I rejected because I didn't know them like that and I wasn't interested or ready. My mom just finished harassing me, saying she was gonna call the first of the two suitors and I said if you wanna embarrass yourselves that's none of my business because my answer was final. Then she said I'm gonna be like my aunt (who was known to be very beautiful & intelligent but very picky and thus in her 40s & unmarried) and I was like yes exactly! I wanna be just like her!! 😂 I even took it a step further and said I was gonna stay with her forever and I got a string of drawn out insults in Hausa lol. Followed by a phrase that loosely translates to "then what's your purpose or blessing to me?" that kinda hurt, but I just laughed it off. The truth is, I'm scared. I don't trust men that I don't know coming out the blue asking for my hand because I'm known for being shy/modest but that's only one side of me. I'm a woman of many layers but these type of men only see the quiet side of me and I feel like they're preying on me. I don't trust men in general tbh lol. But yeah, this topic is so tired & overemphasized, I'm already fed up. Did I mention I'm barely 22!?! Lol
This message came on time. One guy who doesn't have a full time job always from one girl to the other, had the nerve to send me a LONG list of rules a WOMAN should keep for a happy marriage. I asked him what makes him qualified to give such advise as he's not a woman and who is telling the men what to do? I was pissed! One of the rules was, if your husband comes home with no money don't question him. I was like wtf?
Sisi yemmie .Ma you have said it all❤ No extract it's soo true this message needs to get across to young people and teens . there is this video on Facebook a girls was like quick tips to get a Nigerian guy marrie you sharp sharp.And after listening to your opinion I was like it's not a do or die please do more videos like this . food for thought 💝💟
Very valid points! Kudos for talking about People bondage/peer pressure God bless you
You are absolutely right sisi yemmie. My mom will always say, will you do this and that in your husband house? And I always ask her, must everything be about husband and marriage?