"What? No, I'm not haunting Sean's house this week! Last time I did that beat he just took the piss out of me. You know what that does to a ghosts self-esteem?"
I think Jon is my spirit animal Jimmy - "general loneliness, how is that any different from home?" Jon - "because there is a telly at home and I can have the voices! Put the DVD on and go to sleep in my bar in new york ...where everybody knows your name"
@@Jmvars Yawn. You can't even detect self aware irony? Never mind. Keep coining tired internet clichés like the hack you are, if it makes you feel clever.
@@Jmvars by "woosh" you are attempting to appear clever by suggesting that the joke went over my head, whereas you are smart and therefor get it. You are clearly as dumb as a sack of turds, and have succeeded in demonstrating as much, but worse than that, you are unoriginal. REALLY unoriginal. As comebacks go, "woosh" is about as hacky as it gets. You seriously think I don't get it?? The joke in question is nearly 50 years old and was originally referring to the moon, which at least makes sense, as the moon has no atmosphere. Mars DOES have an atmosphere however, so the updated joke simply doesn't work. Like your mom when the docks are closed.
Hamish Munroe Yeah, we’ve started threatening a literal virus with guns. Please come pick us up, we were probably better off as a colony. You can leave Florida though; lovely place but some of the people are scarier than the alligators, and there is no good situation in which alligators are the second biggest problem.
What's funny is after they were moaning about self service checkouts I had an ad for war with grandpa and he does near enough the exact thing sean talks about😂😂
That point where Jon says "I can pretend I am in new York with all my mates... Where everyone know your name... " NO! Jon that show is set in Boston! Get your shit together!
seriously. when the pandemic started i found 8 out of 10 cats does countdown, which is an insanely complicated title... and now i could do a top 100 jokes from it just from memory. glory hole #3 naming penises #2 and challenging wank #1
There used to be a pub on Howard Street in Glasgow called the Mars Bar, which is, strangely, the rhyming slang used to describe someone who was slashed and has a scar on their face 😁
Face scanning tech isn't used as much as you think. The big one is how you walk. You can be more easily identified by your walk than your face by AI. It's even gone as far as a predictive algorithm that can give a percentage of how likely it is that you will commit a crime and what kind of crime you're most likely to commit. Scary stuff!
Faaark. That sounds brutally brutal on the psyche. In Australia (I live in Victoria) we have a supermarket chain called Coles. They're the shit only because I can mute the whole transaction. I still says a smarmy 'Please take your shopping' the split second I've paid, I reply with a smarmy 'please shut the fuck up' then we each go about our day
Hahaha I was in Airlie beach and there was some random guy holding a carpet python he found in the bush around his neck. I asked if I could borrow it and took it to my mixed dorm room to scare the girls. It totally worked, they slammed the door right in my face. Good times.
I had a self check out mis scan on me and I had to wait for help cause it fucked up, so when I got help and it was fixed I quietly said "fucking skynet" and my girlfriend didn't get ir
Also, if you're the first one there, you get the benefits of the Founder Effect; you set the standard of what the future residents should be like. Though if Joe Wilkinson sets the standard for life on Mars, perhaps we're all better off staying on Earth.
Have you got a better Mars joke than Joe Wilkinson's?
Watch the FULL series here: bit.ly/2oNpwez
yeah but I'm not telling you
Jonny Mac No. You mean no
Mars Bar: nice space but no atmosphere.
If I opened a bar on Mars I'd call it the Red Baron
I think I know the same one as Jonny Mac. I’m not telling you either.
I want Joe Wilkinson to be the next James Bond.
Bring on the Monkey Thunder!
Genuinely, he’d make a good Johnny English apprentice.
and Doctor Who
Johnny English 😂
I think Nick Helm should be Bond as his paunch and angry demeanour suit the role perfectly and Wilkinson would make an excellent Q or bond babe.
“Work the body” is the greatest Joe Wilkinson
Agreed
i dont get it
@@bluecar996 - It means attack and punch at your opponent's body. In this case, a bear!
@@renejean2523 Ah, thanks, I've been wondering myself!
Of course ghosts and demons aren't going to visit Sean, they're afraid of him.
I think they actually do on the regular, but he just thinks the family is coming over (if they're anything like him)
P
"What? No, I'm not haunting Sean's house this week! Last time I did that beat he just took the piss out of me. You know what that does to a ghosts self-esteem?"
Ghosts tell Sean Locke stories
@@cogtroper perfect lol
Jon is going to be SO ASHAMED when he learns that the spider is venomous and not in fact poisonous.
They're both right?
@@foxwolf4608 Poison is when you eat it and it makes you sick, venom is when it bites or stings you. Venom is not necessarily poisonous.
Alright calm down, tarantula nerd.
Jon should be SO ASHAMED for running like a little girl for spider bro
Not only that, but he said Cheers was set in New York, when it’s set in Boston
The spider jolting back when her hand approached was adorable. Like an eight legged puppy with cataracts.
Someone make a petition for Sean Lock to be a sir .
Then he might have to sell sea shells on the sea shore.
I'm here all week...
sir lock 😂
@Jhully Amilly Elementary.
Jhully Amilly has a ring to it.
Does anyone see the resemblance between joe and Rasputin
Now that you mention it, I've never seen them both in the same room before?
There's an episode of countdown where Jimmy called him Rasputin
I think Jon is my spirit animal
Jimmy - "general loneliness, how is that any different from home?"
Jon - "because there is a telly at home and I can have the voices! Put the DVD on and go to sleep in my bar in new york ...where everybody knows your name"
Isn't the bar where everybody knows your name (Cheers) in Boston?
@@Eric_Naron just off the A38
Just remember to get your bar visits into syndication. After a couple of seasons off, it's... where everyone forgot your name...
@@Eric_Naron yes
It's funny how Carr kept that freakish laugh secret for so many years.
He didnt. The 'freakish' laugh is an exaggeration, when he really cracks up you get his normal laugh back.
The only problem with The Mars Bar is the lack of atmosphere
Mars has an atmosphere.
@@emdiar6588 *wooosh*
@@Jmvars Yawn.
You can't even detect self aware irony?
Never mind. Keep coining tired internet clichés like the hack you are, if it makes you feel clever.
@@emdiar6588 Jeez, take your mistake like a man. Failing to understand a joke doesn't make you stupid, so don't take it as a personal attack.
@@Jmvars by "woosh" you are attempting to appear clever by suggesting that the joke went over my head, whereas you are smart and therefor get it.
You are clearly as dumb as a sack of turds, and have succeeded in demonstrating as much, but worse than that, you are unoriginal. REALLY unoriginal. As comebacks go, "woosh" is about as hacky as it gets.
You seriously think I don't get it?? The joke in question is nearly 50 years old and was originally referring to the moon, which at least makes sense, as the moon has no atmosphere. Mars DOES have an atmosphere however, so the updated joke simply doesn't work. Like your mom when the docks are closed.
"What's your name?" "You'll laugh." "No I won't what's your name?" "Pat."
Ricky Gervais and Joe Wilkinson Afterlife postman.
lost my mind at _"i think you need some crisps"_
That look at 9:34 though... how was Jon single for so long when he has THAT affect on women?!
Who is that woman??
@@ryangow1179 Helen Flanagan, enjoy
You seen the clip when he tries to compliment Rachel? That's why
I’ve knocked afew out - miles jupp cracks me up
My personal opinion... he's the funniest man alive.
If they come out sexy they come out sexy
9:35 I would love for Helen Flanagan to look at me the way she looks at Jon there!
“Can you eat an apple through a fence?” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA
Me mum drank a lot of milk when she was pregnant and, me dad's an 'orse- Rob Beckett
Thank heavens we have the genius of Joe Wilkinson and Sean Lock in our generation.
“ Look, I’ve taken the chicken.” Lmao
1:28 Theresa May stole Jon's walk!!!!
A Jarjis Aaagh! You have detected the walk of the white upperclass
9:33 the blonde girl looks strangely into Jon
U wish
She does and what’s her name cause you know
@@user-ye9te4yd4t Helen Flanigan
My two favourite comedians right now James a caster and joe Wilkinson
Henning has such a strong cockney accent.
-but he's masked it well.
Joe, Sean, Roisin and add Lee... That would bring the show to totally shine.
Rob Beckett's teeth are beautiful
And plentiful
They would be a lovely canvas to paint on
@@edithcoberman Depends on where you hold your brush.
9:35 she was giving Jon the eyes ;)
Skydoes Minecraf wish I’d seen that before from a chick 😢
Who is she btw?
Jon is hot
And that finger work
@@3666-z6l _Jon is hot_
But in his circle of friends, he's known as the cool one because he's got the thinnest Cardigan.
5:08 the moment Roisin decided to fix Jon up with Lucy 😂
"Can you eat an apple through a fence?" is so cartoonishly savage...
"oH iM gOnNa Do ThIs *flaps arm*"
Damn Jon, the Cheers bar was in Boston, and not New York...
i love that Joe doing a proper joke was so much more surprising than the tarantula, that that's what you focused on for the title.
Joe reminds me of a British Charles Manson.
Having to check your bonfire for hedgehogs is the kind of problems I wish we had in America
You want to murder Hedgehogs in fires?
Hamish Munroe Yeah, we’ve started threatening a literal virus with guns. Please come pick us up, we were probably better off as a colony. You can leave Florida though; lovely place but some of the people are scarier than the alligators, and there is no good situation in which alligators are the second biggest problem.
What's funny is after they were moaning about self service checkouts I had an ad for war with grandpa and he does near enough the exact thing sean talks about😂😂
9:13 Surely they were shouting “Guido out.” 😂
Joes confidence is legendary.
That point where Jon says "I can pretend I am in new York with all my mates... Where everyone know your name... " NO! Jon that show is set in Boston! Get your shit together!
He's been getting all his shit together for years and puts it in boxes in his attic.
He fucked up badly there.
Am I the only American who has never seen British television but came across these shows by chance and are obsessed?
British humor is the best 😍
seriously. when the pandemic started i found 8 out of 10 cats does countdown, which is an insanely complicated title... and now i could do a top 100 jokes from it just from memory. glory hole #3 naming penises #2 and challenging wank #1
1:28 It's s so funny to watch Jon running away from the spider.
The spider bit was hilarious 😂
3:00 well that backfired
jamelia is so cute saying sorry when running away from the spider... how can she be so cute doing whatever?!
9:34 Oh Jon if only you knew...
who that?
TheIkawatay Helen Flanagan
Videos opens on Jon's beautiful, adorable smile *thumb up*
Gay
Fox Burton yessss!!!
Thing is i have early comedy shows when jimmy the messed up doll had a human laugh . What happened to it .
That was his fake laugh. He made an effort for a while to produce a "normal" laugh, but he gave up on it.
1:23 Watch Jon 😂😂😂
“Can you eat an apple through a fence?”
Light harted and funny cuts, nice one! Solid✊🏽
"I tempt you now, do your worst"
Well they did it, Sean is no longer with us.
There used to be a pub on Howard Street in Glasgow called the Mars Bar, which is, strangely, the rhyming slang used to describe someone who was slashed and has a scar on their face 😁
Jon mentions New York bars and then sings the Cheers theme. Mayday Malone would be a bit upset about that. Lol
"And me dad's a Norse". Is he Rob? I thought he was English. 😜
How absolutely perfectly stunning is Aisling? She really is one of the most beautiful women ever.
@Sugondese Nuts 😂
Did you know she has no ass at all?
Nah that’d be Rob Beckett
Darth Sidious Fuck Instagram. A load of fake ass girls and boys posting pictures for likes. That’s not beautiful. It’s sad
Sean lock should host top gear
9:34 Someone really looks like she wants to swim into Jon's pants.
Was going to say ‘How can you see me?!!?’ But I decided not to expose myself
‘’id open a pub and call it the mars bar’’
thats the most british thing i’ve heard in a while
I love how it’s the same clips over again but the ones that I do want to see again never come up. I mean...
OK, legitimately, The Mars Bar is/was the name of the gay bar in Adelaide, Australia....
‘Work the body’ was the first time Joe made me laugh, I remember watching it on TV..I’d look up the year but it’d probably depress me
I just watched 12minutes for "Mars Bar" and im fuming about it
Face scanning tech isn't used as much as you think. The big one is how you walk. You can be more easily identified by your walk than your face by AI. It's even gone as far as a predictive algorithm that can give a percentage of how likely it is that you will commit a crime and what kind of crime you're most likely to commit. Scary stuff!
Joe is life
i for one would pay to see jon v josh fight
9:34 thats the sexiest thing i've seen in 32 years!
helen Flanagan, Coronation Street star.
She wanted him bad!!!😉
ua-cam.com/video/aYl6noqmd_s/v-deo.html Happy birthday, Mick!
@Rob Fraser sweet jesus
@Shisui San no just really horny now because of her
He such a character
Man, he would be upset to know there's already a Bar in Adelaide called Mars Bar
There's also one in Seattle.
I legitimately thought the spider was going to be joe. But that sounds like more of a countdown gag
Naturally occurring methane is odourless.
Is it weird that Joe just never changed
Cheers was set in Boston.
A Mars a day helps you work, rest and tell proper jokes.
Well I think the spirits heard you.
When I’m skint the first thing I give up is space exploration.
Wait. You can't mute the volume at the self-checkout in the UK?
Nope. We must simply live in a constant state of anxiety that the robot lady will announce our poor scanning skills to the rest of the shop.
@@Rileysaura1 I somehow manage to go through so quickly that she can't say the whole sentence and constantly cuts herself off
In Croatia you can switch it to English mute it and add subtitles
'Please place the item in the bagging area'. It's in the fucking bagging area you bitch.
Faaark. That sounds brutally brutal on the psyche.
In Australia (I live in Victoria) we have a supermarket chain called Coles. They're the shit only because I can mute the whole transaction. I still says a smarmy 'Please take your shopping' the split second I've paid, I reply with a smarmy 'please shut the fuck up' then we each go about our day
The Mars Bar - Brilliant !!
Somebody needs to tell Jon that Cheers is set in Boston, not New York. Two cities you definitely don't want to mix up.
Hahaha I was in Airlie beach and there was some random guy holding a carpet python he found in the bush around his neck. I asked if I could borrow it and took it to my mixed dorm room to scare the girls. It totally worked, they slammed the door right in my face. Good times.
Im joining Jon, could not be asked to look at the fireworks this year.
I don't care
I had a self check out mis scan on me and I had to wait for help cause it fucked up, so when I got help and it was fixed I quietly said "fucking skynet" and my girlfriend didn't get ir
Could be a terminator waiting , then bang ,she kills your mate john
Also, if you're the first one there, you get the benefits of the Founder Effect; you set the standard of what the future residents should be like. Though if Joe Wilkinson sets the standard for life on Mars, perhaps we're all better off staying on Earth.
Cheer's is in Boston, I thought
If Jon Richardson decided to take up boxing, he would be so single mindedly focused on it that he would be a terror inside 2 years.
Cheers was in Boston
so the title of these clips is actually the final 5 srconds. jeeez.
Cheers is set in Boston, not New York
a bar in new york... where everybody knows your name.
that bothers me
Boston
Haha me too, I wonder if he said it on purpose to give Americans an OCD episode so he wouldn't be so alone...
6:52 who is she? Ive seen her somewhere before
Wheeler67 Lorraine Kelly
gmtv i think
I thought Joe was going to tell that whole story from Bradbury
Sean baited all the demons and then died, sheesh
What does Joe say at the very beginning? I can’t understand it :(
ledzeprulz “Work the body...”
I feel like I know the lady handling the spider..
The Mars Bar
The marsbar is in Worcester =).
10:41 Joke's on you because in its natural state, methane is actually odourless.
Isn't methane the gas that makes u cry when cutting onions,it begins with an M anyway hahaa
@@alanjbennett3733 Methane wouldn't irritated the eyes, no.
@@alanjbennett3733 methane is a large component of farts
They add the smell
I've always wondered what those apples on their collars are. Are they mics?
Poppies, for Remembrance Day (the UK Memorial Day)
I bet Rob can eat an apple through a fence though...
Joe Wilkinson gave that tie away on taskmaster
Oran Callaghan
Good eye, that’s the one!
Boston, Jon. Boston.
We got there in the end.