It took me 30 years to fully recover because I wouldn't commit to unrestricted eating. When I finally did and let go of an idealized 'recovery' weight, I actually found food freedom.
Hi Patsy, I'm so sorry you had so much of your life living in ED hell. I want to say thank you so much for sharing you've managed to break fully free after so long, because I've also had mental health issues, particularly anorexia and OCD/severe anxiety disorder for as long and it's hard to not lose hope. I've be trying to recover for almost as long as I've been in the cage, but I'm aware and so ashamed at how much I become convinced by the thoughts and physiological reactions whenever I attempt to challenge my restriction and other behaviours. I am so frustrated and despair that I fall for the fear/thoughts almost EVERY TIME. plus, i'm embarrassed by how pathetic a lot of my challenges are in comparison to those who seem to be really making strides. The messed up thing is that I say 'pathetic' challenges, but in the momentous trying to actually do them, they magnify and become HUGE deals. Suddenly what I recognise rationally /a part of me knows is a step, but relatively small one, becomes this "way too much more"/such a huge amount it'll transform everything magically and plunge ,me back into the very dark and unsafe 'place' and state I was in before living in a dormant body with everything little thing controlled. Anyway, enough about me, I want to say I'm so grateful you shared your beyond incredible achievement. You are inspiring and amazing. Take care
@@goosegirl3424The one I thing I had to learn to give up in order to recover is self hate. You can't hate yourself into recovery. So b compassionate to you. OCD adds a huge complication to the recovery puzzle. I've struggled more with PTSD and dissociation but have had some OCD and have known others who struggle the way you describe. I know that eating unrestricted consistently and gaining enough weigh,t does greatly reduce the obsessions, and I have understand it can be hard to sit with feeling like you've done something wrong by eating. Sometimes you just have to tell the the critical voice to shut the F up. You can do this. It's not an all or nothing, it's everyday habit like brushing your teeth. Just keep going! You are worth so much more than this vile ED. Kick it to the curb.
@@goosegirl3424 Every challenge is worthy no matter how small you think it is. Nobody goes from starving to eating fear foods unrestricted overnight. Keep challenging yourself. Everytime you do it, it gets easier and the backlash is less.
@PatsyStone-cl3px thank you so so much 💓. Your words, support and insights gained via your own experience is so valuable to hear about. I'm truly grateful to you. I will take on board what you've said and really try to utilise them to help myself escape the grips. I really hope you're feeling the degree of fulfilment, health and freedom you so longed for. Take care kind soul xxxx
@PatsyStone-cl3px thank you 🙏. Yes, it is so easy to get caught up in feeling ones own efforts are like drops in as ocean, and therefore become overwhelmed with a sense its a losing battle. But you're right....those clichés like "Rome wasn't built in a day", "one step at a time", "brick by brick" all help to remind that the 'light bulb momen'/magical flip of a switch are 99% often time not something that happens for most people, and if we wait for that or think nothing less than complete transformation counts, then we risk never even giving ourselves a chance. Big hugs xxx
I absolutely loathe every single thing about my ED. I hate the paralysis, the ruined relationship, the prematurely aged skin, the devastating effect on my career and brain damage. Yet I become the victim and let it dictate my life.
Another way I've heard an eating disorder explained is that we don't HAVE an eating disorder we DO an Eating disorder. Quite empowering I thought to see our ED as a choice. We have to make continuous, consistent, commitment to DO recovery. What are your thoughts on this ?
I'm in the same position. Looking back on my long recovery attempt and realising I made some mistakes I wish I could undo. But I will not let myself give up! My 'failure' can teach me so much about myself, but only if I let it.
@@snacktivist Yes it can but in my experience eating unrestricted will change that. Part of the despondency is lack of energy (calories) and feeding your body what IT wants as much as it wants everyday, is the best way to heal.
But what if it is hard to do all of this due to the FEAR of getting soft when you hate your natural body shape... like i cant make that next step when i have this fear.. and i dont want to push myself extra hard at the gym because that is also torture for me.. so i'd rather just not deal with the weight gain in order to avoid the extra gym pressure..
This was a very helpfull message. I can really relate to this. One of the things that still keeps me from actually recovering is the negative emotions that come up when going against the ED. My ED is trying every trick in the book to prevent me from doing recovery actions. How do did you manage this? Also can you do a video about why not to settle for the half way part you just talked about. (The mayo example) Xx
It took me 30 years to fully recover because I wouldn't commit to unrestricted eating. When I finally did and let go of an idealized 'recovery' weight, I actually found food freedom.
Hi Patsy, I'm so sorry you had so much of your life living in ED hell. I want to say thank you so much for sharing you've managed to break fully free after so long, because I've also had mental health issues, particularly anorexia and OCD/severe anxiety disorder for as long and it's hard to not lose hope. I've be trying to recover for almost as long as I've been in the cage, but I'm aware and so ashamed at how much I become convinced by the thoughts and physiological reactions whenever I attempt to challenge my restriction and other behaviours. I am so frustrated and despair that I fall for the fear/thoughts almost EVERY TIME. plus, i'm embarrassed by how pathetic a lot of my challenges are in comparison to those who seem to be really making strides. The messed up thing is that I say 'pathetic' challenges, but in the momentous trying to actually do them, they magnify and become HUGE deals. Suddenly what I recognise rationally /a part of me knows is a step, but relatively small one, becomes this "way too much more"/such a huge amount it'll transform everything magically and plunge ,me back into the very dark and unsafe 'place' and state I was in before living in a dormant body with everything little thing controlled. Anyway, enough about me, I want to say I'm so grateful you shared your beyond incredible achievement. You are inspiring and amazing. Take care
@@goosegirl3424The one I thing I had to learn to give up in order to recover is self hate. You can't hate yourself into recovery. So b compassionate to you. OCD adds a huge complication to the recovery puzzle. I've struggled more with PTSD and dissociation but have had some OCD and have known others who struggle the way you describe. I know that eating unrestricted consistently and gaining enough weigh,t does greatly reduce the obsessions, and I have understand it can be hard to sit with feeling like you've done something wrong by eating. Sometimes you just have to tell the the critical voice to shut the F up. You can do this. It's not an all or nothing, it's everyday habit like brushing your teeth. Just keep going! You are worth so much more than this vile ED. Kick it to the curb.
@@goosegirl3424 Every challenge is worthy no matter how small you think it is. Nobody goes from starving to eating fear foods unrestricted overnight. Keep challenging yourself. Everytime you do it, it gets easier and the backlash is less.
@PatsyStone-cl3px thank you so so much 💓. Your words, support and insights gained via your own experience is so valuable to hear about. I'm truly grateful to you. I will take on board what you've said and really try to utilise them to help myself escape the grips.
I really hope you're feeling the degree of fulfilment, health and freedom you so longed for.
Take care kind soul xxxx
@PatsyStone-cl3px thank you 🙏. Yes, it is so easy to get caught up in feeling ones own efforts are like drops in as ocean, and therefore become overwhelmed with a sense its a losing battle. But you're right....those clichés like "Rome wasn't built in a day", "one step at a time", "brick by brick" all help to remind that the 'light bulb momen'/magical flip of a switch are 99% often time not something that happens for most people, and if we wait for that or think nothing less than complete transformation counts, then we risk never even giving ourselves a chance. Big hugs xxx
I absolutely loathe every single thing about my ED. I hate the paralysis, the ruined relationship, the prematurely aged skin, the devastating effect on my career and brain damage. Yet I become the victim and let it dictate my life.
Stop.
@@katespalding2134 Well kick that abusive dictator to the curb, do the opposite of everything your ED says. It's a liar ...
Another way I've heard an eating disorder explained is that we don't HAVE an eating disorder we DO an Eating disorder. Quite empowering I thought to see our ED as a choice. We have to make continuous, consistent, commitment to DO recovery. What are your thoughts on this ?
I was more ready to recover on day one than I am now. The years make you more than frustrated, they make you jaded and disillusioned and despondent.
I'm in the same position. Looking back on my long recovery attempt and realising I made some mistakes I wish I could undo. But I will not let myself give up! My 'failure' can teach me so much about myself, but only if I let it.
@@snacktivist Yes it can but in my experience eating unrestricted will change that. Part of the despondency is lack of energy (calories) and feeding your body what IT wants as much as it wants everyday, is the best way to heal.
@@PatsyStone-cl3px thank-you, I'm in a different place now xo
You are amazing ans help me so much. Please jeep making these videos xx
But what if it is hard to do all of this due to the FEAR of getting soft when you hate your natural body shape... like i cant make that next step when i have this fear..
and i dont want to push myself extra hard at the gym because that is also torture for me.. so i'd rather just not deal with the weight gain in order to avoid the extra gym pressure..
This was a very helpfull message. I can really relate to this.
One of the things that still keeps me from actually recovering is the negative emotions that come up when going against the ED. My ED is trying every trick in the book to prevent me from doing recovery actions. How do did you manage this?
Also can you do a video about why not to settle for the half way part you just talked about. (The mayo example)
Xx
20 years ? Try 47 ! I'm now 73lbs, at age 62