Remember your life isn’t as bad as it could be. You could be in a loveless marriage with two kids. FYI it’s not me. Thirty never looked so good! You will rebound! Look for adventures outside! Film it, maybe. You have the world before you. Low rent! Opportunity could be around the corner. Good luck! Great to see and hear you!
This is so relatable. I’m 28 and I’m nowhere near where I thought I would be at this point in my life. We just can’t compare ourselves to others and what society tells us to be.
Girl you can do this! If it's any consolation, I was 36 when I got married. I had my first child a week before I turn 37. I had my second child two months before I turned 40. And now at the age of 54 I'm going back to college to get my teaching certificate. The only advice I can give you is to do what you love, whether that is work or being in a relationship or being a mother, you have to decide what that is. Keep going, I promise it will get better.
It took me a long time to let go of the societal ideas of “Go To School, Get A Job, Get Married, Have Kids, Retire” being the only path to take. My industry is going through a huge shift right now and I also had to move back to my home town to figure myself out. The only way I was able to get out of my stuck mindset was to surround myself with people who were caring and supportive, which it sounds like you’re already doing! Just forgiving yourself and learning to let go is the first step towards finding your bliss. Also always remember you can find success at any age! Look at all the actors who didn’t get their starts until their 50’s, or musicians who weren’t in the spotlight until they were ready to retire, or even my own mother who quit her job to start painting at age 60. Pushing yourself for success at such a young age can cause an early burnout or loss of motivation, or all around added stress, and there’s no shame in taking your time and removing yourself from any situation making you unhappy. UA-cam is also a really great excuse to talk to “yourself” and figure things out instead of keeping it all in your head and adding to the stress. Making videos without the pressure of consistent content could probably be really beneficial in the long run and help you talk out your problems, ya know? I think I can say with confidence that we all still love you, Cat, and I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do & in finding your passion!! (Sorry for rambling lol)
Never followed you when you were a regular on UA-cam but I can relate to this soooo much. I am 31 and back to living with my parents after 4.5 years of living on my own. I went through a toxic work situation which really affected me and still dealing with PTSD from it. I’ve been unemployed mostly though I have been working part time-ish as a dog walker. It pays next to nothing but it gets me out of the house. It’s the same with me, shame talking about it with my friends who keep inquiring about my job search. They mean well but I do feel lonely, isolated, depressed, dreading the future. It is overwhelming and I finally started reaching out to therapists to talk about what I’ve been through. So I relate to everything you are going through! So much fear, anxiety, loneliness etc. Same with my family, they are awesome and have been supportive throughout this process while I heal. Good luck with your transition! It sucks but we’ll make it through.
Hey, just wanted to say I strongly relate to your story and I think you're really brave for talking about it. Best of luck with figuring everything out
Taylor sorry you are also going through this but it’s good to know I’m not alone. No kids or marriage for me either as of now. Life gets more confusing as you go along and there is no “right” way to live it in my experience. Good luck to you!
Same boat, I’m 29 and I’ve been a nurse for a few years and I haaaaaate it and I feel guilty bc it’s a career about helping people blah blah blah. Finally going back to school and my local community college for 3D animation and I’m 1000% happier. Everyone is confused and my parents friends like to act like I’m some spoiled trust fund kind or something bc I’m 29 and live at home but I go to school full time and work part time. I’m still not very social which is something I’d like to work on but I’m miles ahead of where I was last year. Definitely light years behind where I though I’d be when I was in high school but I’m trying to just let myself be human and remember that all of our journeys are valid and real. Anyway, it’s not necessarily nice that so many people feel as lost and weird as I do but it does help when I’m feeling alone to remember that I’m not the only one struggling.
even though i'm 10 years younger, this really resonates with me. I turn 20 this week and have been experiencing some really intense depression for the last year or so. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, and this depression has left me without any motivation or passion to propel me forward. really just taking things one day at a time because otherwise, it seems far too daunting to face. I've had a lot of big personal changes (breakups, losing friends, deaths in the family, moving to the other side of the country all by myself) that I haven't allowed myself to process because I don't allow myself to be vulnerable. Best of luck to you. you are not alone in the way that you're feeling. it will get better.
This is so relatable & I hate to use that word but I just get it. I turned 27 last week & since the start of this year I'm just...stuck. In a job, in a chronic illness, in life in general, & with no direction or desire in regards to a future in literally anything. It does help knowing the cliche 'I'm not alone' though. & it's good to see you here again. :) Take care
in these moments when we are our worst enemy, we gotta be our best friend❤️ as hard as it may seem, you can do it and just as you said, its just phase and you'll get through it!! lots of love❤️
I can relate. I'm 25 and have achieved a lot. Even though I'm lost right now, my friends and family constantly remind me that it's okay to take time to figure life out. Sometimes I give up and don't leave the house for a week, but what's helped is knowing that it's not permanent and that I have to keep moving forward, no matter what the pace is.
Oh man, been there/done that. Last year was probably my worst in regards to mental health... Sort of a similar situation: quit my job, felt uninspired, staring off into space with existential dread. If you’re able, antidepressants have helped me a lot. I’d always been scared of the stigma but it’s been good for me. And I think just remembering you don’t have to solve every world crisis problem all at once - which I know is SO hard to internalize (and I continue struggling with), but it’s so true. You CAN do things just because you enjoy them. That will help you rebuild confidence in yourself and make you feel marginally better one little bit at a time, which is so helpful. And talking to your friends/asking for their support. I hope things get better for you. 💛
I can definitely relate. I’ve also been feeling really depressed and lost in life lately. I’m 25 and I still haven’t gotten very far in life or figured out why I’m here/what I’m supposed to be doing. It sucks, but hopefully you’ll find your answers soon!
I genuinely can't believe how much this resonates. I've realized my own personal shame (and how long it's been around..) in feeling a lack of pride in myself, and the intense isolation it pushes me towards. to hear someone else speaking on exactly this experience is so affirming, I genuinely forget that it's not just me. thank you so much for sharing this.
21 and now 30 (this year) have also been my deep depression years. I'm in a space where I cry most days, more than once a day, and feel completely demotivated. Being honest with friends about it has been hard, but honestly to see them offer even simple support has made me feel so much better. It's also reminded me to do this for people in my life when I can. I have no tips as I'm really not doing well myself right now, but I'm thinking about you and you're not alone ❤️
Hi Cat:) I get it. I’m going through something super similar right now. I graduated over the summer with my bachelors in Speech and Audiology. My life took a 360 when I didn’t get into my masters program and moved back home after 5 years of not living with my parents. After not getting in I decided I wanted to switch up my career and try something else because I realized I didn’t actually feel fulfilled with my degree. So I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do but it’s the same existential dread feeling of “omg, what’s my purpose? Oh look, my friend just started a super prosperous job...”. It’s been hard trying to figure myself out while I feel “not good enough” but I’m trying to stay positive too. All we have is hope, right? Anyways, I hope I was able to make you feel less alone as this video made me feel a little better 💕
Here is a note I keep on my phone: Do you think you are going No Where in Life? STOP! Take a deep breath. THINK! New York is three hours ahead of California, but that does not make California slow. Cameroon is six hours ahead of New York but it does not make New York slow. Someone graduated from college at 22 but waited five years before securing a job. Someone became a CEO at 25 but died at 50. Someone became a CEO at 50 but lived to 90 years. Someone is still single, While another is married with children. Absolutely, everyone in this world works based on their own time zone. People around you might seem to be ahead of you. That’s total fine. Some are behind you. Everyone is running their own race in their own time zone. Don’t envy or mock them. They are in their own time zone and you are in yours. Life is about waiting for the right moment to react. So RELAX. You’re not late You’re not early You’re very much on time, and in your time zone. Everyone have a different exams paper meaning different questions. Everyone have a different assignment meaning different purpose in life. So focus on your own exam paper, your assignment and purpose. Don’t copy and paste or steal answer else you will fail big time. Your dreams and visions are all valid.Just take your time and do the best you can. Be like the hummingbird. Even when mighty lions and tigers underestimated him, he continued to do what he could,where he was ,just as he was, with the little he had. You're ok just the way you are. The little work you are doing today might seem insignificant but I bet someday you will see the big picture. You're Not late ! You're Not early. You are exactly on time.
I didn’t even realise how long it has been, remember it like it was yesterday when you were uploading often. Really hope you‘ve been doing well, it’s good to see you again.
I feel this. You’re not alone ❤️ I think there’s so much pressure to have it all figured out and life just isn’t easy that way! I think you need to find what makes you happy, not artificially or not what you think you should be doing just what makes you happy. It’s easy to advice but it’s damn hard to follow it and I know this but hang in there girl. X
I feel very similar even though I'm only 24. I have no idea what I'm doing and where I fit in the world. I feel like all my friends have gone on to studying, working, engaged and having babies. Meanwhile I'm unemployed (been on the job hunt for years unsuccessfully), single, live with my parents and don't drive (I get really anxious trying to drive). Trying to be positive and hoping that things change soon. I hope you still post the occasional video to check in. I use to watch you, Joey, Meghan and Ingrid a lot as a teenager and it's just so comforting to hear you have a genuine chat and catch up with us. Everything will turn out okay eventually xx
You got this Cat -- I've been there and am on the other side of it. It sucked, it was a loooooong phase and I still don't fully know what the hell I'm doing but I'm aiming my energy on things I know I want. I decided to go back to school... at 31! (I'll be the first person in my family to get a degree), I'm looking into becoming a meditation instructor and other goals I had no idea *less than a year ago* I would go for. Life is so freaking wild. It's like we live several lives in one lifetime.
Randomly thought to check how you wee after years and I'm so surprised you quit. Thank you for providing great content. I hope you are doing better and life is treating you well!
I relate too much to you right now. I’m lost in what I’m doing with my life. Fortunately, I think I moving in the right direction. Just know that you’re not the only one going through it. There’s a lot of pressure to have everything figured out by the time you’re 30. But don’t rush the process. You’ll pull through :-)
This is exactly where I've been mentally for the last few years and I am 30. This year I quit my job and went back to school for the 3rd time to follow another passion, and hope that this one pans out for me. Thanks for this, always nice to know we aren't alone! Although I never wish others to struggle!
Have missed your videos! You are honest and down to earth. I can so relate to your thoughts. I have realised that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. We are living our own path. I am 32 still single and still trying to find out if nursing is what I want to do. Age is just a number I tell myself. You don’t have to live up to its expectations
I’m right there with you. Just turned 31 and very ashamed where I am at. The difference between you and I, is that I was married(now divorced) and I have a child, but I never had a career or steady job. Most of my 20’s I spent being a stay at home mom and in college. My shame comes from never “making something of myself.” I’ve had the worst anxiety and depression of my life this past year along with ptsd from an abusive marriage and it’s tough. Also, YES to avoiding people because you’re afraid it will alter your connection and their perception of you. I’ve had so many supportive people on my life this past year and I’m trying not to push them away because I’m afraid of them seeing “the real me.” I’ve had to be vulnerable and it’s hard. But I know I’ll get through this season of life and so will you. It’s already made me stronger and more resilient. I’ve just learned I have a lot to face and it’s my time to face all the fears and unknowns that I’ve been avoiding. I appreciate you sharing this because it’s so relatable and makes me feel less alone. Keep on going-you’ll find your way.
We love you too Cat. So good to see you again on here. Number one rule, don’t ever give up. If the next thing falls through, move on to the next one and the one after that. Enjoy your time to refresh and restart in England and come back and start again. You can do it 👏🏻👍🏻 Have a fabulous day Cat 😃
I just started up my youtube channel yesterday that I stopped 7 years ago because of bullying and then uni distracted me. After logging in I saw this video right away and its funny that we both shared a youtube cleanse. I feel with you because 8 years ago I drew a portrait of you as you were one of my favourite UA-camrs, you responded to the video and the fact we both came back to this community shows the support you can find here. Keep soul searching.
I came back and watched this for a purpose of reassurance that if you're lost that's okay. Thank you for being so open and know that you've made a huge difference. Hope all is well
You got this!! Thanks so much for posting this, don’t put pressure on yourself. You have loving family around you and it takes a long time to realize but that is the most important thing. Don’t regret anything, try and keep your head up and take it slow. 1% better at a time and we’re always here for you!
I feel like watching this and hearing someone else say it has stopped my brain from stirring temporarily. This hit home hard and felt like everything I've been experiencing for the better part of two or so years. Unsure and scared for the future. Feeling isolated and lonely without direction or purpose. It's a tricky place to be watching others do the things you so badly want to be doing but not being able to get to that point. I relate to this so much but it's helpful to know that at 28 I'm not the only one going through it. I can't really talk to the very very few people I have in my life about it so this helps more than you know.
Cat, I want to give you a big hug right now 🤗 Thank you for being so transparent and real. It helps all of us out there that are in the same situation not feel so alone. I just turned 28 and the way you described how you’re feeling is 100% what I’m currently going through. I feel so ashamed of where I’m at right now - but then I realize that I’m feeling ashamed because I’m comparing my life to everyone else’s. I think that is one of the root causes of our depression and anxiety. I’m slowly coming to terms with where I’m at right now, and I’m just taking it one day at a time. We will reach our destination and find our purpose. We’re just taking the longer route - and that is totally okay. 😊❤️
Heyyy Cat! It's great to see you make a video again that's more just for you as opposed to you vlogging for views (not that that's a bad thing but it's nice to see you making something cuz you have a want to) There's no shame in living with your parents again. That's what they're there for. Family is SO important when you're going through a tough time. I'm glad you're working on yourself. It's nice to see. Too often people stay in bad places because they can't see it getting better or they're afraid of it getting worse, and it's great to see that you took a step back from something that had become toxic to you. And you have friends in London Cat. Friends who have posted that they're feeling similar to you. Friends that are also taking breaks from UA-cam right now. Idk how much you talk to them these days, but you can talk to/hang out with your friends without having to make a video. Or do much of anything. (Idk if this is a thing you are already doing or if you've had a falling out with the people I'm hunting at, and it's none of anyone's business if either is the case, but I know that if you're feeling shame/lost that it can be easy to forget that they're are other people out there experiencing what you are and you can feel like you're burdening them with your problems. You're not. If they're your friends they WANT to hear about your problems and friends WANT to help their friends.) Talk to a therapist, find a support group, take up some excersising-its hard to think when you're struggling to catch your breath, learn a highly repetitive skill (like crochet or something) that allows you to focus without having to think to much-its a great way to mediate (and make stuff). Mostly just go easy on yourself, you're going through a rough patch but you'll make it to the other side. And that can be hard to remember (that much I know intimately) but it's really important to remind yourself that this won't always be how you feel and that this reset is good and important and temporary. Honestly, get a dumb 9-5 desk job or customer service position for a few months, it'll get you out of the house and have you meeting new people. It won't be glamorous (or fun) but it might help you feel like you have some semblance of control over your life and give you a routine to rely on while you're figuring out what to do next. (Routine has been one of the most important aspects of my own recovery and to getting my life together) You can do this Cat. Just take a deep breath and try to remember that you are strong enough to take whatever life throws at you, you wouldn't have survived 10+ years on the internet if that weren't the case. :)
I feel you. I just moved back with my mom at 29 and I'm really unsure what to do next. It's like living in limbo. I'm just trying to stay optimistic that something will work out and it will be better than anything I can imagine right now. ❤️
Cat its really heartwarming and nice to have you back...it brings back so many childhood memories. I can't believe its almost been 5 years since I started watching your youtube channel
Not sure if this helps, but I just want to say you are so intelligent, well spoken, talented and focused. Whatever you want to do or where you want to work, I'm sure you will be a very strong and well liked candidate.. I'm sad to hear you feel lost in life, ive had those times too, at those points maybe any change is good change. Not many can relate to finishing UA-cam and doing something else, so it sounds very hard. But please be proud of yourself. You have every reason to be proud of where you are in life. Don't compare to others, everyone has their own timeline. You are not late or early, you are exactly on time.
Hey Cat! I've been watching your videos for a long time, probably since I was in my early 20's and I'm 30 now. I went to university straight out of high school and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. 4 years later I graduated with a degree in biology. I was still living in my parents house and had no close friends because my school was so big and my high school friends had all moved on. At that point I was pretty low. I was working part time at a local drug store and I thought to myself, what is the highlight of my day at work and how could I find a career which allowed me to have that everyday. I loved helping people, it gave me so much happiness. So it was then that I decided to apply to nursing school. I've been nursing now for 4 years. Something I would have never thought I would be doing 10 years ago and I love it! I know you too will find your way. We are always here for you :)
I haven't been in a good place mentally since my grandma died. I'm really struggling to find out what I want to do with my life, I've compleyely lost my appetite, I feel lonely because my best friend has developed some damaging habits. I hate seeing her like this and we barely get along anymore. I feel guilty because maybe I'm just not good enough as a friend but at the same time I feel like she's becoming a bad influence in my life, making me feel low all the time. I'm glad you posted this video because it made me realise how important it is to be kind to yourself. I've always looked for a purpose, I've felt like my life isn't worth living if I don't have a purpose but I think there is no other goal to achieve than living your life to the fullest and being true to yourself. I hope you will feel better soon. You're amazing and it's okay to not have everything planned out. Have a nice day!!
Hey Cat! I’m 27. I’ve been watching your videos here and on vlogvetica (throw back) since I was like 16. I always liked you a lot. You were one of the most relatable UA-camrs for me in all my time being active on UA-cam. I left UA-cam- I stopped watching and making videos completely after college. I just randomly saw you post on twitter tonight, and I wondered what you were up to. I totally relate to how you’re feeling. I feel lost and confused and directionless. I feel scared to make big choices for myself because I’m terrified that they won’t work out. I still struggle with mental health issues as much as I did as a teenager. I just struggle in new a different ways now lol. Anyways, thanks for posting this totally down to earth, real-ass life update. It’s refreshing to see real people vlogging about real life on UA-cam. Videos like this one are the reason I found so much comfort and community on UA-cam in the first place. Love you! Hope to see another update from you soon. I hope you take the plunge and do the things you feel passionately about.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do until I was 30. I’m 43 now and I am still figuring out who I am. But I found passion in my work and am starting to try to venture into my own business. Life is all about the journey and sometimes it sucks but we do grow and learn. I wish you all the best. You really do deserve happiness. You got this girl. You just put one foot in front of the other.
I’ve been feeling pretty similarly, I’m 27 and since finishing college a little over two years ago I’ve felt so aimless and I feel so down about it. I guess I just really thought I would have found a passion by now? I hope you start feeling inspired soon but in the meantime I’m glad you’re sharing so we can all feel less alone :)
I started watching your videos in university in 2009 and I loved watching you. You have always been so relatable and refreshing and you always made me feel like we were friends! Thanks for coming back and giving us an update 💜
Just stumble on to your video and I hope your doing better. I feel the same way and getting away is sometimes good, a good reboot. Love your smile, take care.
Years and years ago you taught me something huge about myself. You made a video talking about personality types, particularly extroverts and introverts. I can not tell you how much that has changed my life. It certainly affects every aspect of my life. I got a new deeper understanding of my own actions and also my surroundings thanks to you. I just want to thank you for opening that door for me at a time when I needed it. Cat, I really hope you find your new path. You certainly helped me find mine.
Man, the amount of times I’ve been in that same position you were. It took a lot of self-reflecting and perspective for me to get out of dark places. Never be afraid to reach out because people want to help you, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Hi pretty lady! I just happened to check up on your channel and stumbled across this video. Just wanted to let you know that I found this very comforting and relatable. I’m 25 and very much do things at my own pace. I would like to go back to school and I have a idea of what I want for the future but it’s not extremely traditional in relation to most of my friends/peers lives. This video makes complete sense to me. The good news is you have a great head on your shoulders! Thank you for the update and for being open. You’re probably helping more people than you know! Hope you’re doing well! Peace and love
I feel exactly what youre feeling , im 29 and when i was younger i was almost with my whole life planned , but when i was 19 20 i get heavily deppressed and went on an spiral of not doing what i was expecting or wanted , and now that im much better mentally at 29 i feel like ive learned so much and i really dont care about other people life, like kids, marriage or there dream job, im me, i needed a little more time to deal with my own demons, that i still carry, but for some reason it feels more easy, yeah is not what everyone expected or blablabla but is my journey . Even tho im still a little stuck but i think im getting there, dont need to pressure u, dont need to compare to others lifes, for some people life works in a differene way, pick peace by peace what inspires u and motivates u, just remember that your path is not the same as the others. Much love.
this was really what i needed right now!! i'm 23 and have just moved back to my parents home, all of my friends from school have 'traditional' lives and i'm kind of just the odd one out, it's reassuring to know there's so many more people out there in the same situation, we can do this! xx (ps. cat you literally still look 21, drop a skincare routine girl! ❤️)
You're genuinely right where I am in life. I'm 24, been graduated from college for nearly three years and, because of my social anxiety, I'm at an absolute stand still. I feel like I'm making no progress because I can't get a job from a HUGE fear of interviewing. I still live at home with my parents and last year I was rejected from a dream job. I know one day it will all fall into place... but right now I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper. Thanks for sharing though Cat... Makes me feel like I'm not so alone in my fears.
I have never related to you more! I feel all the exact same things... I’m in shock at how on the head it was. Thank you 😊 I’m and definitely interested in your journey bc I too feel that deep depression (I.e. being up until 4:30am). Good luck to you my dear. You are not alone.
I love how real you are with what you talk about. I always felt that you were a UA-camr that everyone could relate with. You are an amazing individual lady, someone that talks about what you're dealing with that your subscribers are dealing with, so you're not alone and neither are we. Much love to you and I hope you find what makes you the happiest! I am 30 myself and have those moments too where I'm not sure what I want to do and where I want to go. Make sure that you're happiness is key, like I said I always loved your videos and hearing about your life :)
I went through a similar thing around that age. A month before my 29th b-day I was feeling unhappy with where my life was going, so I tried to make some small changes in school and work to shake it up. Those changes ended up causing everything to collapse around me and I sank into a deep depression. Eventually I moved in with my dad and his gf, but was still struggling to get any forward momentum in my life and had succeeded in only isolating myself from almost everyone I knew. After a year of that I decided to move in with my grandma and some family back where I grew up (Long Beach, CA), that was almost 2 years ago. Since then it's been a long uphill climb to get back on my feet, but I'm finally making some solid progress. The biggest tips I can give you are: Push yourself to stay in touch with friends and family that will help you out, even if it's just sending a simple "Hi"; get outside the house and do at least 1 thing a day (even if it's just a walk around the block); and remember there are people your age and older that still haven't figured their life out (I'm one of them), but that's okay.
I’m 26 an I feel this way I honestly have no clue what I wanna do with the rest of my life and it scares me so much but seeing that u relate makes me feel not so alone
This video makes complete sense to me and what I'm going through at the moment, I turn 31 in a couple of months and its so nice to find someone going through similar thoughts and feelings. Thanks so much for sharing, I think it's so important for others to see too. Hoping it's just a part of life and we both learn something from what will hopefully be a very small phase of our lives! (ps. I never comment on UA-cam videos!!)
Whew this is all so very relatable, I haven't been in a mentally right place for a couple of months myself, to the point where I stopped fearing/dreading death. I'm sorry you're feeling like this and hope this time alone helps you work through some things. You are lucky to have a supportive community, reach out to them when you need to. I know that's easier said than done, but give it a chance. Thank you for this video, thank you for opening up
This definitely sounds relatable. I was in that place a few years ago. Unfortunately, I had to go through a tough time to get through it, so that part sounds very familiar. However, everything got so much easier and better when I realized and accepted that I don’t want a conventional life. All of my friends are in relationships/married, and most have kids and a career plan. And honestly, I don’t see any of those as goals for me. I have people I love in my life, I’m exploring the world when I can, exploring different career paths etc. And I’m really happy. I get to be me. Not a “me” that pretends to want what society tells me I should want. Best of luck with everything.
Super happy for you being able to do this whole reset thing. Always do what's best for you! I've felt similar things for sure and it feels pretty great to know that it's not just me. I'm 20 myself and seeing you say these things at 30 gives me a kind of hope for the future in that life will still be okay if I don't figure it all out and that there's no rush either. We grow up with all these unrealistic taught expectations of being married, having kids, a perfect career, etc. by some arbitrary age and that just doesn't happen for everybody(and not everyone wants those things, either).Things don't always have to be perfectly in place and I think just exploring life is a great journey that's worth it even when we're not sure where we're going. Wishing you all the best, Cat!
Hey Cat, don't feel bad because you somehow feel behind in life or comparing your life to others at your age. Everyone goes through life at their own pace and that is perfectly okay! Getting through life and tough times and situations can be hard. I'm currently 36 and I went through a tough time in my life a few years ago (and now a little more because of recent events and how it's changed my life) and really just treating myself poorly. Negative self talk and just being down and thinking I wasn't good enough. I found some new people in my life that really helped me and they had some amazing advice. It takes time but no matter what you're doing or thinking, if it's negative try to stop that thought process and speak out loud to yourself to put a smile on your face. You have a beautiful smile and sharing it with the world and universe not only makes others around you feel better but can do wonders even for yourself. The best thing that really helped for me was positive affirmations. Positive affirmations in the morning out loud to myself and whenever I began to do negative self talk. It's okay to be sad and depressed at times, that's life, but don't let that make your life. Wish you the best and all the love in the world.
Happy Birthday Catherine. I believe that everyone should have the best birthday that they can in this new year in a safe way and that includes you. So have an amazing birthday today.
Turning 26 in a couple of days. I had a period like this between 18-23 years old and now it feels like i'm "behind" on milestones like getting a degree and a non-minimum wage job. However, I'm working on my bachelor's in something I absolutely love and this is my driving force. I still have to remind myself every day to not compare myself to people of my age, because... it is what it is. Take the responsibility, because it ultimately lies in you, and keep working- out of the depression and into the life you want.
I’m in such a similar boat and really related to what you were saying about the cycles of shame. I’m in a point of my life too where I don’t know what’s next but the fear of not being good enough is holding me back. I just moved to Australia from Seattle to be with my partner and I don’t have tons of friends. What helps me sometimes is to think about vibrations, and how depression is such a low vibration, and to try and fight that low vibration by using movement (dancing at home, going to the gym, ect) and being outside, where my mind is naturally more open and curious and optimistic. Thank you for being open and honest and making me feel like I’m not alone!!!💖
I feel you in spiritual level right now Cat. I’m about to move back in with my parents in VA after living on my own in Korea for 2 years and I feel some type of way about it. I have no idea the direction I want to move towards career wise, I’m 25 and I feel like everyone around me is moving 2X the speed I am, and I’ve been so overwhelmed that I didn’t feel like I can even start packing up to move back home. Like you, I have a great family that will welcome me back whenever I want so that’s one less worry, but I’m still so directionless and it’s making me nervous. We need to chill. I hope you continue to make these videos for those of us who’ve stuck with you for all these years. Been a subscriber since 2012 and I dont plan on leaving you anytime soon 😊
This video is always nice to come back to whenever I feel stressed (usually because of school haha). If you ever decide to come back to UA-cam I’d love another one of these sit-down conversational videos, as I love how personal it feels. You’re amazing ! 💓
I do not even know how you were recommended to me but I connected with this and you in so many ways. My life has been in chaos since I turned 30 and it has led me to sell my house, nearly end a marriage, give up on starting a family and have no support structure outside of work. I am the opposite in some ways because my career is probably the only thing that kept me alive in the last year when I literally had no family or place to rely on. I think just being medicated for anxiety, strategically looking at my future and making some changes has really helped. Life will always evolve and change and you just have to ride the way and not get swallowed. I think I found myself at the bottom of the ocean for a while there but remembered that I know how to swim and used my abilities to get back to the surface. You can do it too. I'm glad you reached out instead of staying a hermit because you need support and you need connections. Keep on swimming and you'll find a path.
I totally agree that we have to be the people to push ourselves into our next thing or occupation in our lives. It can be soooo tough to try to decide how to fill your time and I hope you get through it. I went through this when I was in first year uni AND second year uni because that was when I was trying to decide what I wanted to do. What reassured me was that you don’t have to choose just one thing to dedicate your life to. So, for now I’m going down a path of storytelling since I’m studying journalism while I have a job at a UA-cam channel. What I recommend you do (if you haven’t yet) is doing a brainstorm map. Writing it down in a journal or a place you will be able to reflect back on it. In the centre of mine I put “my life” and then I answered the questions from the book “7 habits of highly effective people”. - what would you want people to say about your life? - what traits or characteristics would you like others to see in you? - what achievements would you want them to remember? - what difference would you like to have made in their lives? Other than that, I say read. Learning constantly is what keeps me going honestly haha
I totally relate. I recently turned 50, and for the past 27 years, I have felt have you felt when you posted this video. I hope you are in a better place today than when this video was posted.
Hey cat! This video resonates with me so much on all the layers. I also turned 30 a short time ago. After working from project to project as an audio engineer the last couple of years I’m now realizing that I need to find something new that excites me. But sometimes I feel stuck and like I’m not progressing. All that just to say that I get where you are coming from here and let’s never stop trying to find new motivation. Anyway, Nice seeing you again.
Hey Cat, I relate a lot to how you're feeling. Last December, a few months prior to my 35th birthday, I was dismissed from my pharmacy program one semester before I was scheduled to graduate with my doctorate (I had good grades and standardized tests scores but during a rotation I calmly confronted a preceptor who questioned me ability to work as a person who suffers with anxiety... 8 working days prior to my confronting her she gave me a good evaluation but retaliated when I confronted her and issued me a falling grade for the rotation). Before starting my pharmacy program I'd done a bachelor's (psychology and international relations) and Masters (conflict resolution) in two unrelated fields and going back to school for something that was completely out of my wheelhouse was a huge leap for me. From the outset I felt an immense pressure that this was my last shot... that I was getting to an age where I had to get into a stable career asap. Getting kicked out of my program, the way that that ensued (without a due process hearing which I mentioned in my letter of appeal and which has been ignored) made it all the worse. I was paralyzed by depression and what I can only describe as PTSD. It's been over a year and I'm working at a convenience store owned by a family member and I feel ashamed and hopeless. It seems everyone around me has rewritten my narrative. Before I was a paradigm of (potential) success and achievement, and now I feel that I'm perceived as a failure... as though my past achievements have been erased by this blip in my record. I'm far from being in my dream job, but I'm glad to be getting out of the house. I'd been holed up in my house for months, sometimes going weeks without stepping outside. Now, I'm out and interacting with people and my mental health is improving day by day. It takes time to recover from setbacks, and isolation makes it so much worse. Hang in there and try to get out and he around people. It's so important. Take care
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I also do deal with depression and anxiety. Stay strong girly and it’s never to late to start what you truly are passionate about in life🖤
We're in a very different, yet very similar situation. Being disabled 22-year-olds and still living with a parent, we definitely relate to what you said about having no idea why you're here or what you're meant to do. The depression hits hard and it sucks and we wouldn't wish it upon anyone, and we're sorry to hear that you're going through it too. We've been watching your videos for over 6 years, and we've always been amazed by your ability to take on anything your passions might lead you to. Sure, sometimes you may have failed, but that's just a thing that humans do sometimes. It's fine. But you've also succeeded multiple times and that will happen again. We're all going to figure this whole "life" thing out eventually, but until then, we're in this together. Love you, Cat :)
i'm in my 30's and going through huge life changes as well. you used the word paralyzing in this video, and wow, what a great adjective. it feels like you're superglued in place and had concrete dumped over your head. it's wild. honestly acknowledging it is the first step, and then you've got to accept it. i think for me the thing that's helped the most is learning to be compassionate to me. and once i practiced self compassion i was able to start meditating and work on self forgiveness. i am finally coming to a really tranquil space introspectively of this just que sera sera contentment, but it's been... a journey. getting here. i think we get so caught up in perusing happiness that we forget about seeking peace. search for contentment. find tranquility. do more of what quiets your mind and then just robe yourself in that. it doesn't feel like it when you're right in the middle of it, but this season will pass. it is a slow process, but it's a forward moving one. it may look stagnant from where you're standing, but just below the surface of you concentrate hard enough, you'll feel the current. just ride it out. we got this ❤️
Cat, I've been watching your videos since you worked at Daily Booth. I think it was a video of yours where you were giving a tour of the office. You've come such a far way! Just think about all of your accomplishments. You're only 30 and you've accomplished so much in life. You have so much to look forward too, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Life works in a weird and mysterious way. Thank you for venting to us about how you're feeling right now. I've felt this way many times before. I'm a few years younger than you. At times, I've felt like I've had no purpose and not sure what direction life was taking me in. The best lesson I've learned is to surround myself with positive and loving people. I refuse to surround myself with toxic and negative people. It's all about the people around us that lift us up. Have you ever thought about getting back into League of Legends? I remember you being passionate about that for a while. You were pretty good at it too! Maybe dive back into the world of streaming on Twitch? Just a few suggestions. We're all on a different journey. I hope the best for you and your subscribers will always be here for you.
this is the most real and relatable video i have seen on youtube in a long time. its hard to be going through an uncertain time like this, but seeing a video from someone in a similar space makes it a bit more bearable. 2019 has been a roller coaster, but brighter days are on the horizon for all of us, i'm sure of it! hang in there Cat, and know that you're not alone.
Hey Cat! I went through the same quarter life crisis last year, and am happy to report that I'm feeling a lot better now :) As you've said, life might suck *right now*, but I think you're doing the right thing by simply feeling out what makes you happy and opening yourself up to new opportunity (eg randomly staying in London for a while or making another YT video because you know it makes you happy). I lost myself for a while there, and decided to move countries (again) to go back to university (again) to contribute to educate myself and to hopefully get some insight as to what it is that I want to do with my life from this point on. You got this, just continue to put yourself out there x
I just got diagnosed with a pretty bad mental illness after being hospitalized for like a month, and my mom was also just hospitalized because of me and her mental illness... So my year hasn't been going that well either. Thanks for opening up Cat. I hope you find your way through. I hope I find my way through as well.
I totally get it. I graduated college a year ago with a degree in advertising and public relations, but have no passion or desire to do anything in that field. I wish I was honest with myself while I was in school and switched my major, but I was ashamed to admit I didn't know what I wanted to do and was scared to be a 5th/6th year senior. And now I'm even scared to go back to school because I'll be older than everyone. I took time off to figure my life out and now job searching. But the anxiety/this circle of thought is just so paralyzing all I do is procrastinate. Ughhhh. I really relate to your depression and just staring at the wall feeling regret and questioning the purpose of it all. I'm taking it step by step though and reminding myself that even a little progress is still progress. Like getting up earlier, not laying down for as long, reaching out to friends, etc. Thank you for sharing.
Relate so hard with this!! I know it sounds trite but mistakes are just lessons you learn along the way, so don't beat yourself up Cat! Just take what you've learned and push past the hard stuff. I know, easier said than done, but you are not alone in this feeling. All the best! Xxx
Life can change so fast. I know how you feel. I felt the same at 30 after a long term relationship. Life is beautiful but also messy. Sometimes it looks like every one has figured it out, but it is not like this. Be not so hard on yourself. Starting someting new is never easy. But figureing out can be also a very nice time and adventurous. Thank you for beeing so real, in such a superficial world.
Those feelings are honestly just how your 20s and early 30s are so never lose hope. It does get better and while it’s easy to feel like you are not moving on or having kids or whatever, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. You will find yourself and be patient with it. Also, my grandma restarted her life at 60 after her kids left and went back to school so it’s never too late and feeling lost is ok. It took me years to find a direction and at the time I felt like I was failing myself or not living up to the expectations of everyone else, but I was able to pivot and find direction.
I can definitely relate to this video. All my friends seem to have their lives together and I have no idea what I want to do with mine. I have a BA in psychology and wasn't able to get a job since you need a master's or higher to do anything in the field. After graduating, I sheltered myself and became depressed and from there I became socially anxious. Even applying for higher paying jobs seems to scares me. My job, at the moment, doesn't relate to what I went to school for and pay is just enough to pay the bills. I paid out of pocket for a 4 yr degree that I don't even use. I understand you completely :(
life7777 I really hope things improve for you ❤️ post grad life is confusing but it always works out, even if it means taking a direction that’s different from what you originally thought :)
It's so good to see you again, love. I'm so sorry that this last year and a half has been so hard for you, I truly am, and I empathize. I'm in a very similar place as you are. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I constantly feel like I'm running out of time to figure it out. You're not alone whatsoever, and you're such a strong person. You're going to get through this and we're all rooting for you. You're loved, you're cherished and I wish you nothing but the best💖💖
I missed you too. Always happy to see you in my sub box. You've already kicked ass at UA-cam. So I think success comes naturally to you. I bet it won't be long till you're killing it at something else. Have fun in London and with your family at home.
Was so happy to see you uploaded. I hope London is wonderful for you. I completely understand how you feel about life right now. I’m in the middle of a deep depressive episode and losing friends and might lose my job and it’s very difficult to find a purpose. But we all have to hang in there because we do have a purpose and it will get better. I hope you find what you want to do that’ll make you happy and that you’ll feel brave enough to take that leap. I believe in you and it’s so good to see you and hear about how you’re doing. Keep fighting and you will get there. Love you! xx
This is the most relatable video I’ve seen in a long time! With that being said; you also look the most at peace I’ve seen you in a long time! I totally feel you on this.. I have a progressive neurodegenerative disease and I’ve been feeling that way for a long time. All of my friends are either getting married or having kids; and I’m over here, fighting for my life. It really freaking sucks. We should be friends haha, so we don’t feel so gosh darn isolated! I hope you feel better soon ♥️
Girl! I fucking get it and I'm there! 30 feels like a different type of teenage year when you're just trying to catch some sort of rhythm. It's hard because for years I knew what my life would be like here and it does not match up. It's scary, but completely beautiful in that you are still learning and growing as a person. Hang in there! The best is yet to come!
I really appreciate this video! I'm 32 and have had a pretty unconventional life and work (from dropping out of high school and moving to a hippie commune 2000 miles away at 18 to working for a congressperson and on the presidential election in 2016). The past 3 years I've been running my own small media company and being a full-time content creator is a "dream" for people younger than me, and my peers might be confused about what I do sometimes, but at the same time I watch my friends hit milestones that are simply not options with my current work + life. Not to mention the pressures of being your own boss where your life is part of the product. It's hard to know what to go into when you have skills for a job that doesn't really exist outside working for yourself. I also did a life reset in London this year! I spent a month in August renting a shitty flat and a very nice coworking space in the East End, and while I did it because I am my own boss and can work remotely, I actually mostly did it to gain perspective on my life back in the states. I made sure I had a crappy apartment so I had to go outside a lot ;) otherwise I would've hidden in my flat. But I just love being in London - knowing it's there because ANYTHING feels possible (except a long-term work visa lol). In the end, the things I figured out (some with the help of my therapist) was that I wanted to work with a team, and I wanted a routine and to be forced to leave the house every day. I'm making the choice to go back to a day job, and bring my content business down to part time and it often feels like I've "failed" - but in the end, it will make me happier. I hope you find the healing you need, and it's okay to step off the track to "normal life"! You'll figure it out. It's not a race and there are no milestones. You just have to make the work and live the life that fulfills you. And I'm glad you still like making videos sometimes. :-) It started as a fun side hobby for most youtubers, not a job, and sometimes it's easier to leave it that way.
Also, weird advice, but I went back to figure skating after a 15 year break - something I did competitively as a teen but haven't touched. Doing it as an adult gave me something to look forward to, and it was nice to do something that wasn't monetized when nearly everything in my life has been. Plus, I'm good at it and it takes a lot of concentration where I can't have existential crises while I"m doing it because I'm focusing too much.
I watched until the end! I feel the same way with my creativity. I feel stumped and don’t know how to be creative. I feel that it’s important to have something to fall back on like a career but still have room to be creative and hopefully successful with it.
tell me how you're doing!!!!
catrific well I mean school isn’t fun with work and some of the people lol but overall I’m pretty good😂😂💗💗hope you’re doing ok ❤️❤️
I’m doing alright. You’re one of the most relatable people on this platform. I know you’ll be okay. 💘
Remember your life isn’t as bad as it could be.
You could be in a loveless marriage with two kids.
FYI it’s not me.
Thirty never looked so good!
You will rebound!
Look for adventures outside! Film it, maybe.
You have the world before you. Low rent!
Opportunity could be around the corner.
Good luck!
Great to see and hear you!
going through that end of year stress with exams and deadlines etc but ha it’s getting there
Cat, I feel very much like you, at the moment. Not great, is it :-(
Love and respect!! I totally have been there before! Cheering you on!!!
lisbug omg THIS comment is EVERYTHING
This is so relatable. I’m 28 and I’m nowhere near where I thought I would be at this point in my life. We just can’t compare ourselves to others and what society tells us to be.
Girl you can do this! If it's any consolation, I was 36 when I got married. I had my first child a week before I turn 37. I had my second child two months before I turned 40. And now at the age of 54 I'm going back to college to get my teaching certificate. The only advice I can give you is to do what you love, whether that is work or being in a relationship or being a mother, you have to decide what that is. Keep going, I promise it will get better.
This is so inspiring, thank you for sharing!! Even though it was meant for catrific I'm sure your words will help a lot of us who are struggling
I needed this. Thank you.
I low key wish you’d come back to UA-cam or start a podcast. I relate to you so much.
It took me a long time to let go of the societal ideas of “Go To School, Get A Job, Get Married, Have Kids, Retire” being the only path to take. My industry is going through a huge shift right now and I also had to move back to my home town to figure myself out. The only way I was able to get out of my stuck mindset was to surround myself with people who were caring and supportive, which it sounds like you’re already doing! Just forgiving yourself and learning to let go is the first step towards finding your bliss.
Also always remember you can find success at any age! Look at all the actors who didn’t get their starts until their 50’s, or musicians who weren’t in the spotlight until they were ready to retire, or even my own mother who quit her job to start painting at age 60. Pushing yourself for success at such a young age can cause an early burnout or loss of motivation, or all around added stress, and there’s no shame in taking your time and removing yourself from any situation making you unhappy.
UA-cam is also a really great excuse to talk to “yourself” and figure things out instead of keeping it all in your head and adding to the stress. Making videos without the pressure of consistent content could probably be really beneficial in the long run and help you talk out your problems, ya know?
I think I can say with confidence that we all still love you, Cat, and I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do & in finding your passion!! (Sorry for rambling lol)
Never followed you when you were a regular on UA-cam but I can relate to this soooo much. I am 31 and back to living with my parents after 4.5 years of living on my own. I went through a toxic work situation which really affected me and still dealing with PTSD from it. I’ve been unemployed mostly though I have been working part time-ish as a dog walker. It pays next to nothing but it gets me out of the house. It’s the same with me, shame talking about it with my friends who keep inquiring about my job search. They mean well but I do feel lonely, isolated, depressed, dreading the future. It is overwhelming and I finally started reaching out to therapists to talk about what I’ve been through.
So I relate to everything you are going through! So much fear, anxiety, loneliness etc. Same with my family, they are awesome and have been supportive throughout this process while I heal. Good luck with your transition! It sucks but we’ll make it through.
Hey, just wanted to say I strongly relate to your story and I think you're really brave for talking about it. Best of luck with figuring everything out
Rosalie Jansen thank you! I hope you are doing well on your journey as well. ❤️
Taylor sorry you are also going through this but it’s good to know I’m not alone. No kids or marriage for me either as of now. Life gets more confusing as you go along and there is no “right” way to live it in my experience. Good luck to you!
Same boat, I’m 29 and I’ve been a nurse for a few years and I haaaaaate it and I feel guilty bc it’s a career about helping people blah blah blah. Finally going back to school and my local community college for 3D animation and I’m 1000% happier. Everyone is confused and my parents friends like to act like I’m some spoiled trust fund kind or something bc I’m 29 and live at home but I go to school full time and work part time. I’m still not very social which is something I’d like to work on but I’m miles ahead of where I was last year. Definitely light years behind where I though I’d be when I was in high school but I’m trying to just let myself be human and remember that all of our journeys are valid and real. Anyway, it’s not necessarily nice that so many people feel as lost and weird as I do but it does help when I’m feeling alone to remember that I’m not the only one struggling.
Can heavily relate to your story. If you don't mind , can you give a life update as I'm exactly in the same boat right now as you were 2 years ago.
even though i'm 10 years younger, this really resonates with me. I turn 20 this week and have been experiencing some really intense depression for the last year or so. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, and this depression has left me without any motivation or passion to propel me forward. really just taking things one day at a time because otherwise, it seems far too daunting to face. I've had a lot of big personal changes (breakups, losing friends, deaths in the family, moving to the other side of the country all by myself) that I haven't allowed myself to process because I don't allow myself to be vulnerable.
Best of luck to you. you are not alone in the way that you're feeling. it will get better.
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This is so relatable & I hate to use that word but I just get it. I turned 27 last week & since the start of this year I'm just...stuck. In a job, in a chronic illness, in life in general, & with no direction or desire in regards to a future in literally anything. It does help knowing the cliche 'I'm not alone' though. & it's good to see you here again. :) Take care
in these moments when we are our worst enemy, we gotta be our best friend❤️ as hard as it may seem, you can do it and just as you said, its just phase and you'll get through it!! lots of love❤️
I can relate. I'm 25 and have achieved a lot. Even though I'm lost right now, my friends and family constantly remind me that it's okay to take time to figure life out. Sometimes I give up and don't leave the house for a week, but what's helped is knowing that it's not permanent and that I have to keep moving forward, no matter what the pace is.
Oh man, been there/done that. Last year was probably my worst in regards to mental health... Sort of a similar situation: quit my job, felt uninspired, staring off into space with existential dread. If you’re able, antidepressants have helped me a lot. I’d always been scared of the stigma but it’s been good for me. And I think just remembering you don’t have to solve every world crisis problem all at once - which I know is SO hard to internalize (and I continue struggling with), but it’s so true. You CAN do things just because you enjoy them. That will help you rebuild confidence in yourself and make you feel marginally better one little bit at a time, which is so helpful. And talking to your friends/asking for their support. I hope things get better for you. 💛
I can definitely relate. I’ve also been feeling really depressed and lost in life lately. I’m 25 and I still haven’t gotten very far in life or figured out why I’m here/what I’m supposed to be doing. It sucks, but hopefully you’ll find your answers soon!
I genuinely can't believe how much this resonates. I've realized my own personal shame (and how long it's been around..) in feeling a lack of pride in myself, and the intense isolation it pushes me towards. to hear someone else speaking on exactly this experience is so affirming, I genuinely forget that it's not just me. thank you so much for sharing this.
21 and now 30 (this year) have also been my deep depression years. I'm in a space where I cry most days, more than once a day, and feel completely demotivated. Being honest with friends about it has been hard, but honestly to see them offer even simple support has made me feel so much better. It's also reminded me to do this for people in my life when I can. I have no tips as I'm really not doing well myself right now, but I'm thinking about you and you're not alone ❤️
i really understand what you're going through, im younger than you but im in the same situation
Hi Cat:) I get it. I’m going through something super similar right now. I graduated over the summer with my bachelors in Speech and Audiology. My life took a 360 when I didn’t get into my masters program and moved back home after 5 years of not living with my parents. After not getting in I decided I wanted to switch up my career and try something else because I realized I didn’t actually feel fulfilled with my degree. So I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do but it’s the same existential dread feeling of “omg, what’s my purpose? Oh look, my friend just started a super prosperous job...”. It’s been hard trying to figure myself out while I feel “not good enough” but I’m trying to stay positive too. All we have is hope, right? Anyways, I hope I was able to make you feel less alone as this video made me feel a little better 💕
Yeah, it's so hard to do comparison to others!
Here is a note I keep on my phone:
Do you think you are going No Where in Life?
STOP!
Take a deep breath.
THINK!
New York is three hours ahead of California, but that does not make California slow.
Cameroon is six hours ahead of New York but it does not make New York slow.
Someone graduated from college at 22 but waited five years before securing a job.
Someone became a CEO at 25 but died at 50.
Someone became a CEO at 50 but lived to 90 years.
Someone is still single,
While another is married with children.
Absolutely, everyone in this world works based on their own time zone.
People around you might seem to be ahead of you.
That’s total fine. Some are behind you.
Everyone is running their own race in their own time zone.
Don’t envy or mock them.
They are in their own time zone and you are in yours.
Life is about waiting for the right moment to react.
So RELAX.
You’re not late
You’re not early
You’re very much on time, and in your time zone.
Everyone have a different exams paper meaning different questions.
Everyone have a different assignment meaning different purpose in life.
So focus on your own exam paper, your assignment and purpose.
Don’t copy and paste or steal answer else you will fail big time.
Your dreams and visions are all valid.Just take your time and do the best you can.
Be like the hummingbird. Even when mighty lions and tigers underestimated him, he continued to do what he could,where he was ,just as he was, with the little he had.
You're ok just the way you are. The little work you are doing today might seem insignificant but I bet someday you will see the big picture.
You're Not late ! You're Not early. You are exactly on time.
i really needed this, thank you ♥
I didn’t even realise how long it has been, remember it like it was yesterday when you were uploading often.
Really hope you‘ve been doing well, it’s good to see you again.
I feel this. You’re not alone ❤️ I think there’s so much pressure to have it all figured out and life just isn’t easy that way! I think you need to find what makes you happy, not artificially or not what you think you should be doing just what makes you happy. It’s easy to advice but it’s damn hard to follow it and I know this but hang in there girl. X
I feel very similar even though I'm only 24. I have no idea what I'm doing and where I fit in the world. I feel like all my friends have gone on to studying, working, engaged and having babies. Meanwhile I'm unemployed (been on the job hunt for years unsuccessfully), single, live with my parents and don't drive (I get really anxious trying to drive). Trying to be positive and hoping that things change soon. I hope you still post the occasional video to check in. I use to watch you, Joey, Meghan and Ingrid a lot as a teenager and it's just so comforting to hear you have a genuine chat and catch up with us. Everything will turn out okay eventually xx
You got this Cat -- I've been there and am on the other side of it. It sucked, it was a loooooong phase and I still don't fully know what the hell I'm doing but I'm aiming my energy on things I know I want. I decided to go back to school... at 31! (I'll be the first person in my family to get a degree), I'm looking into becoming a meditation instructor and other goals I had no idea *less than a year ago* I would go for. Life is so freaking wild. It's like we live several lives in one lifetime.
Randomly thought to check how you wee after years and I'm so surprised you quit. Thank you for providing great content. I hope you are doing better and life is treating you well!
Good to see a video! Everything eventually turns around! :) Liked as always!
I relate too much to you right now. I’m lost in what I’m doing with my life. Fortunately, I think I moving in the right direction. Just know that you’re not the only one going through it. There’s a lot of pressure to have everything figured out by the time you’re 30. But don’t rush the process. You’ll pull through :-)
im so proud of this character development nonetheless and the effort you are putting towards getting yourself to the mental state that you deserve !!
This is exactly where I've been mentally for the last few years and I am 30. This year I quit my job and went back to school for the 3rd time to follow another passion, and hope that this one pans out for me. Thanks for this, always nice to know we aren't alone! Although I never wish others to struggle!
Have missed your videos! You are honest and down to earth. I can so relate to your thoughts. I have realised that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others. We are living our own path. I am 32 still single and still trying to find out if nursing is what I want to do. Age is just a number I tell myself. You don’t have to live up to its expectations
I’m right there with you. Just turned 31 and very ashamed where I am at. The difference between you and I, is that I was married(now divorced) and I have a child, but I never had a career or steady job. Most of my 20’s I spent being a stay at home mom and in college. My shame comes from never “making something of myself.” I’ve had the worst anxiety and depression of my life this past year along with ptsd from an abusive marriage and it’s tough. Also, YES to avoiding people because you’re afraid it will alter your connection and their perception of you. I’ve had so many supportive people on my life this past year and I’m trying not to push them away because I’m afraid of them seeing “the real me.” I’ve had to be vulnerable and it’s hard. But I know I’ll get through this season of life and so will you. It’s already made me stronger and more resilient. I’ve just learned I have a lot to face and it’s my time to face all the fears and unknowns that I’ve been avoiding. I appreciate you sharing this because it’s so relatable and makes me feel less alone. Keep on going-you’ll find your way.
We love you too Cat. So good to see you again on here. Number one rule, don’t ever give up. If the next thing falls through, move on to the next one and the one after that. Enjoy your time to refresh and restart in England and come back and start again. You can do it 👏🏻👍🏻 Have a fabulous day Cat 😃
I just started up my youtube channel yesterday that I stopped 7 years ago because of bullying and then uni distracted me. After logging in I saw this video right away and its funny that we both shared a youtube cleanse. I feel with you because 8 years ago I drew a portrait of you as you were one of my favourite UA-camrs, you responded to the video and the fact we both came back to this community shows the support you can find here. Keep soul searching.
I came back and watched this for a purpose of reassurance that if you're lost that's okay. Thank you for being so open and know that you've made a huge difference. Hope all is well
You got this!! Thanks so much for posting this, don’t put pressure on yourself. You have loving family around you and it takes a long time to realize but that is the most important thing. Don’t regret anything, try and keep your head up and take it slow. 1% better at a time and we’re always here for you!
I feel like watching this and hearing someone else say it has stopped my brain from stirring temporarily. This hit home hard and felt like everything I've been experiencing for the better part of two or so years. Unsure and scared for the future. Feeling isolated and lonely without direction or purpose. It's a tricky place to be watching others do the things you so badly want to be doing but not being able to get to that point. I relate to this so much but it's helpful to know that at 28 I'm not the only one going through it. I can't really talk to the very very few people I have in my life about it so this helps more than you know.
Cat, I want to give you a big hug right now 🤗
Thank you for being so transparent and real. It helps all of us out there that are in the same situation not feel so alone. I just turned 28 and the way you described how you’re feeling is 100% what I’m currently going through. I feel so ashamed of where I’m at right now - but then I realize that I’m feeling ashamed because I’m comparing my life to everyone else’s. I think that is one of the root causes of our depression and anxiety. I’m slowly coming to terms with where I’m at right now, and I’m just taking it one day at a time. We will reach our destination and find our purpose. We’re just taking the longer route - and that is totally okay. 😊❤️
Heyyy Cat! It's great to see you make a video again that's more just for you as opposed to you vlogging for views (not that that's a bad thing but it's nice to see you making something cuz you have a want to)
There's no shame in living with your parents again. That's what they're there for. Family is SO important when you're going through a tough time. I'm glad you're working on yourself. It's nice to see. Too often people stay in bad places because they can't see it getting better or they're afraid of it getting worse, and it's great to see that you took a step back from something that had become toxic to you.
And you have friends in London Cat. Friends who have posted that they're feeling similar to you. Friends that are also taking breaks from UA-cam right now. Idk how much you talk to them these days, but you can talk to/hang out with your friends without having to make a video. Or do much of anything. (Idk if this is a thing you are already doing or if you've had a falling out with the people I'm hunting at, and it's none of anyone's business if either is the case, but I know that if you're feeling shame/lost that it can be easy to forget that they're are other people out there experiencing what you are and you can feel like you're burdening them with your problems. You're not. If they're your friends they WANT to hear about your problems and friends WANT to help their friends.)
Talk to a therapist, find a support group, take up some excersising-its hard to think when you're struggling to catch your breath, learn a highly repetitive skill (like crochet or something) that allows you to focus without having to think to much-its a great way to mediate (and make stuff). Mostly just go easy on yourself, you're going through a rough patch but you'll make it to the other side. And that can be hard to remember (that much I know intimately) but it's really important to remind yourself that this won't always be how you feel and that this reset is good and important and temporary. Honestly, get a dumb 9-5 desk job or customer service position for a few months, it'll get you out of the house and have you meeting new people. It won't be glamorous (or fun) but it might help you feel like you have some semblance of control over your life and give you a routine to rely on while you're figuring out what to do next. (Routine has been one of the most important aspects of my own recovery and to getting my life together)
You can do this Cat. Just take a deep breath and try to remember that you are strong enough to take whatever life throws at you, you wouldn't have survived 10+ years on the internet if that weren't the case. :)
I feel you. I just moved back with my mom at 29 and I'm really unsure what to do next. It's like living in limbo. I'm just trying to stay optimistic that something will work out and it will be better than anything I can imagine right now. ❤️
Cat its really heartwarming and nice to have you back...it brings back so many childhood memories. I can't believe its almost been 5 years since I started watching your youtube channel
Not sure if this helps, but I just want to say you are so intelligent, well spoken, talented and focused. Whatever you want to do or where you want to work, I'm sure you will be a very strong and well liked candidate.. I'm sad to hear you feel lost in life, ive had those times too, at those points maybe any change is good change. Not many can relate to finishing UA-cam and doing something else, so it sounds very hard. But please be proud of yourself. You have every reason to be proud of where you are in life. Don't compare to others, everyone has their own timeline. You are not late or early, you are exactly on time.
Hey Cat! I've been watching your videos for a long time, probably since I was in my early 20's and I'm 30 now. I went to university straight out of high school and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. 4 years later I graduated with a degree in biology. I was still living in my parents house and had no close friends because my school was so big and my high school friends had all moved on. At that point I was pretty low. I was working part time at a local drug store and I thought to myself, what is the highlight of my day at work and how could I find a career which allowed me to have that everyday. I loved helping people, it gave me so much happiness. So it was then that I decided to apply to nursing school. I've been nursing now for 4 years. Something I would have never thought I would be doing 10 years ago and I love it! I know you too will find your way. We are always here for you :)
I haven't been in a good place mentally since my grandma died. I'm really struggling to find out what I want to do with my life, I've compleyely lost my appetite, I feel lonely because my best friend has developed some damaging habits. I hate seeing her like this and we barely get along anymore. I feel guilty because maybe I'm just not good enough as a friend but at the same time I feel like she's becoming a bad influence in my life, making me feel low all the time. I'm glad you posted this video because it made me realise how important it is to be kind to yourself. I've always looked for a purpose, I've felt like my life isn't worth living if I don't have a purpose but I think there is no other goal to achieve than living your life to the fullest and being true to yourself. I hope you will feel better soon. You're amazing and it's okay to not have everything planned out. Have a nice day!!
Hey Cat!
I’m 27. I’ve been watching your videos here and on vlogvetica (throw back) since I was like 16. I always liked you a lot. You were one of the most relatable UA-camrs for me in all my time being active on UA-cam. I left UA-cam- I stopped watching and making videos completely after college. I just randomly saw you post on twitter tonight, and I wondered what you were up to.
I totally relate to how you’re feeling. I feel lost and confused and directionless. I feel scared to make big choices for myself because I’m terrified that they won’t work out. I still struggle with mental health issues as much as I did as a teenager. I just struggle in new a different ways now lol.
Anyways, thanks for posting this totally down to earth, real-ass life update. It’s refreshing to see real people vlogging about real life on UA-cam. Videos like this one are the reason I found so much comfort and community on UA-cam in the first place.
Love you! Hope to see another update from you soon. I hope you take the plunge and do the things you feel passionately about.
Thank you. I have been going through a depression episode in the past few weeks and just listening to your pep talk to yourself is encouraging.
I didn’t know what I wanted to do until I was 30. I’m 43 now and I am still figuring out who I am. But I found passion in my work and am starting to try to venture into my own business. Life is all about the journey and sometimes it sucks but we do grow and learn. I wish you all the best. You really do deserve happiness. You got this girl. You just put one foot in front of the other.
I’ve been feeling pretty similarly, I’m 27 and since finishing college a little over two years ago I’ve felt so aimless and I feel so down about it. I guess I just really thought I would have found a passion by now? I hope you start feeling inspired soon but in the meantime I’m glad you’re sharing so we can all feel less alone :)
I started watching your videos in university in 2009 and I loved watching you. You have always been so relatable and refreshing and you always made me feel like we were friends! Thanks for coming back and giving us an update 💜
Just stumble on to your video and I hope your doing better. I feel the same way and getting away is sometimes good, a good reboot. Love your smile, take care.
Years and years ago you taught me something huge about myself. You made a video talking about personality types, particularly extroverts and introverts. I can not tell you how much that has changed my life. It certainly affects every aspect of my life. I got a new deeper understanding of my own actions and also my surroundings thanks to you. I just want to thank you for opening that door for me at a time when I needed it. Cat, I really hope you find your new path. You certainly helped me find mine.
Man, the amount of times I’ve been in that same position you were. It took a lot of self-reflecting and perspective for me to get out of dark places. Never be afraid to reach out because people want to help you, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Hi pretty lady! I just happened to check up on your channel and stumbled across this video. Just wanted to let you know that I found this very comforting and relatable. I’m 25 and very much do things at my own pace. I would like to go back to school and I have a idea of what I want for the future but it’s not extremely traditional in relation to most of my friends/peers lives. This video makes complete sense to me. The good news is you have a great head on your shoulders! Thank you for the update and for being open. You’re probably helping more people than you know! Hope you’re doing well!
Peace and love
I feel exactly what youre feeling , im 29 and when i was younger i was almost with my whole life planned , but when i was 19 20 i get heavily deppressed and went on an spiral of not doing what i was expecting or wanted , and now that im much better mentally at 29 i feel like ive learned so much and i really dont care about other people life, like kids, marriage or there dream job, im me, i needed a little more time to deal with my own demons, that i still carry, but for some reason it feels more easy, yeah is not what everyone expected or blablabla but is my journey . Even tho im still a little stuck but i think im getting there, dont need to pressure u, dont need to compare to others lifes, for some people life works in a differene way, pick peace by peace what inspires u and motivates u, just remember that your path is not the same as the others. Much love.
this was really what i needed right now!! i'm 23 and have just moved back to my parents home, all of my friends from school have 'traditional' lives and i'm kind of just the odd one out, it's reassuring to know there's so many more people out there in the same situation, we can do this! xx
(ps. cat you literally still look 21, drop a skincare routine girl! ❤️)
You're genuinely right where I am in life. I'm 24, been graduated from college for nearly three years and, because of my social anxiety, I'm at an absolute stand still. I feel like I'm making no progress because I can't get a job from a HUGE fear of interviewing. I still live at home with my parents and last year I was rejected from a dream job. I know one day it will all fall into place... but right now I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper. Thanks for sharing though Cat... Makes me feel like I'm not so alone in my fears.
I have never related to you more! I feel all the exact same things... I’m in shock at how on the head it was. Thank you 😊 I’m and definitely interested in your journey bc I too feel that deep depression (I.e. being up until 4:30am). Good luck to you my dear. You are not alone.
I love how real you are with what you talk about. I always felt that you were a UA-camr that everyone could relate with. You are an amazing individual lady, someone that talks about what you're dealing with that your subscribers are dealing with, so you're not alone and neither are we. Much love to you and I hope you find what makes you the happiest! I am 30 myself and have those moments too where I'm not sure what I want to do and where I want to go. Make sure that you're happiness is key, like I said I always loved your videos and hearing about your life :)
I went through a similar thing around that age. A month before my 29th b-day I was feeling unhappy with where my life was going, so I tried to make some small changes in school and work to shake it up. Those changes ended up causing everything to collapse around me and I sank into a deep depression. Eventually I moved in with my dad and his gf, but was still struggling to get any forward momentum in my life and had succeeded in only isolating myself from almost everyone I knew. After a year of that I decided to move in with my grandma and some family back where I grew up (Long Beach, CA), that was almost 2 years ago. Since then it's been a long uphill climb to get back on my feet, but I'm finally making some solid progress. The biggest tips I can give you are: Push yourself to stay in touch with friends and family that will help you out, even if it's just sending a simple "Hi"; get outside the house and do at least 1 thing a day (even if it's just a walk around the block); and remember there are people your age and older that still haven't figured their life out (I'm one of them), but that's okay.
I’ve always admired your way with words 💗 Keep swimming and you will get through this!
I’m 26 an I feel this way I honestly have no clue what I wanna do with the rest of my life and it scares me so much but seeing that u relate makes me feel not so alone
This video makes complete sense to me and what I'm going through at the moment, I turn 31 in a couple of months and its so nice to find someone going through similar thoughts and feelings. Thanks so much for sharing, I think it's so important for others to see too. Hoping it's just a part of life and we both learn something from what will hopefully be a very small phase of our lives! (ps. I never comment on UA-cam videos!!)
Whew this is all so very relatable, I haven't been in a mentally right place for a couple of months myself, to the point where I stopped fearing/dreading death. I'm sorry you're feeling like this and hope this time alone helps you work through some things. You are lucky to have a supportive community, reach out to them when you need to. I know that's easier said than done, but give it a chance. Thank you for this video, thank you for opening up
This definitely sounds relatable. I was in that place a few years ago. Unfortunately, I had to go through a tough time to get through it, so that part sounds very familiar.
However, everything got so much easier and better when I realized and accepted that I don’t want a conventional life. All of my friends are in relationships/married, and most have kids and a career plan. And honestly, I don’t see any of those as goals for me. I have people I love in my life, I’m exploring the world when I can, exploring different career paths etc. And I’m really happy. I get to be me. Not a “me” that pretends to want what society tells me I should want.
Best of luck with everything.
Super happy for you being able to do this whole reset thing. Always do what's best for you! I've felt similar things for sure and it feels pretty great to know that it's not just me. I'm 20 myself and seeing you say these things at 30 gives me a kind of hope for the future in that life will still be okay if I don't figure it all out and that there's no rush either. We grow up with all these unrealistic taught expectations of being married, having kids, a perfect career, etc. by some arbitrary age and that just doesn't happen for everybody(and not everyone wants those things, either).Things don't always have to be perfectly in place and I think just exploring life is a great journey that's worth it even when we're not sure where we're going. Wishing you all the best, Cat!
Hey Cat, don't feel bad because you somehow feel behind in life or comparing your life to others at your age. Everyone goes through life at their own pace and that is perfectly okay! Getting through life and tough times and situations can be hard. I'm currently 36 and I went through a tough time in my life a few years ago (and now a little more because of recent events and how it's changed my life) and really just treating myself poorly. Negative self talk and just being down and thinking I wasn't good enough. I found some new people in my life that really helped me and they had some amazing advice. It takes time but no matter what you're doing or thinking, if it's negative try to stop that thought process and speak out loud to yourself to put a smile on your face. You have a beautiful smile and sharing it with the world and universe not only makes others around you feel better but can do wonders even for yourself. The best thing that really helped for me was positive affirmations. Positive affirmations in the morning out loud to myself and whenever I began to do negative self talk. It's okay to be sad and depressed at times, that's life, but don't let that make your life. Wish you the best and all the love in the world.
Happy Birthday Catherine. I believe that everyone should have the best birthday that they can in this new year in a safe way and that includes you. So have an amazing birthday today.
Turning 26 in a couple of days. I had a period like this between 18-23 years old and now it feels like i'm "behind" on milestones like getting a degree and a non-minimum wage job. However, I'm working on my bachelor's in something I absolutely love and this is my driving force. I still have to remind myself every day to not compare myself to people of my age, because... it is what it is. Take the responsibility, because it ultimately lies in you, and keep working- out of the depression and into the life you want.
I’m in such a similar boat and really related to what you were saying about the cycles of shame. I’m in a point of my life too where I don’t know what’s next but the fear of not being good enough is holding me back. I just moved to Australia from Seattle to be with my partner and I don’t have tons of friends.
What helps me sometimes is to think about vibrations, and how depression is such a low vibration, and to try and fight that low vibration by using movement (dancing at home, going to the gym, ect) and being outside, where my mind is naturally more open and curious and optimistic.
Thank you for being open and honest and making me feel like I’m not alone!!!💖
I feel you in spiritual level right now Cat. I’m about to move back in with my parents in VA after living on my own in Korea for 2 years and I feel some type of way about it. I have no idea the direction I want to move towards career wise, I’m 25 and I feel like everyone around me is moving 2X the speed I am, and I’ve been so overwhelmed that I didn’t feel like I can even start packing up to move back home. Like you, I have a great family that will welcome me back whenever I want so that’s one less worry, but I’m still so directionless and it’s making me nervous. We need to chill.
I hope you continue to make these videos for those of us who’ve stuck with you for all these years. Been a subscriber since 2012 and I dont plan on leaving you anytime soon 😊
This video is always nice to come back to whenever I feel stressed (usually because of school haha). If you ever decide to come back to UA-cam I’d love another one of these sit-down conversational videos, as I love how personal it feels. You’re amazing ! 💓
I do not even know how you were recommended to me but I connected with this and you in so many ways. My life has been in chaos since I turned 30 and it has led me to sell my house, nearly end a marriage, give up on starting a family and have no support structure outside of work. I am the opposite in some ways because my career is probably the only thing that kept me alive in the last year when I literally had no family or place to rely on.
I think just being medicated for anxiety, strategically looking at my future and making some changes has really helped. Life will always evolve and change and you just have to ride the way and not get swallowed. I think I found myself at the bottom of the ocean for a while there but remembered that I know how to swim and used my abilities to get back to the surface. You can do it too. I'm glad you reached out instead of staying a hermit because you need support and you need connections. Keep on swimming and you'll find a path.
I totally agree that we have to be the people to push ourselves into our next thing or occupation in our lives. It can be soooo tough to try to decide how to fill your time and I hope you get through it.
I went through this when I was in first year uni AND second year uni because that was when I was trying to decide what I wanted to do. What reassured me was that you don’t have to choose just one thing to dedicate your life to. So, for now I’m going down a path of storytelling since I’m studying journalism while I have a job at a UA-cam channel.
What I recommend you do (if you haven’t yet) is doing a brainstorm map. Writing it down in a journal or a place you will be able to reflect back on it. In the centre of mine I put “my life” and then I answered the questions from the book “7 habits of highly effective people”.
- what would you want people to say about your life?
- what traits or characteristics would you like others to see in you?
- what achievements would you want them to remember?
- what difference would you like to have made in their lives?
Other than that, I say read. Learning constantly is what keeps me going honestly haha
I totally relate. I recently turned 50, and for the past 27 years, I have felt have you felt when you posted this video. I hope you are in a better place today than when this video was posted.
Hey cat! This video resonates with me so much on all the layers. I also turned 30 a short time ago. After working from project to project as an audio engineer the last couple of years I’m now realizing that I need to find something new that excites me. But sometimes I feel stuck and like I’m not progressing. All that just to say that I get where you are coming from here and let’s never stop trying to find new motivation. Anyway, Nice seeing you again.
Hey Cat, I relate a lot to how you're feeling. Last December, a few months prior to my 35th birthday, I was dismissed from my pharmacy program one semester before I was scheduled to graduate with my doctorate (I had good grades and standardized tests scores but during a rotation I calmly confronted a preceptor who questioned me ability to work as a person who suffers with anxiety... 8 working days prior to my confronting her she gave me a good evaluation but retaliated when I confronted her and issued me a falling grade for the rotation). Before starting my pharmacy program I'd done a bachelor's (psychology and international relations) and Masters (conflict resolution) in two unrelated fields and going back to school for something that was completely out of my wheelhouse was a huge leap for me. From the outset I felt an immense pressure that this was my last shot... that I was getting to an age where I had to get into a stable career asap. Getting kicked out of my program, the way that that ensued (without a due process hearing which I mentioned in my letter of appeal and which has been ignored) made it all the worse. I was paralyzed by depression and what I can only describe as PTSD. It's been over a year and I'm working at a convenience store owned by a family member and I feel ashamed and hopeless. It seems everyone around me has rewritten my narrative. Before I was a paradigm of (potential) success and achievement, and now I feel that I'm perceived as a failure... as though my past achievements have been erased by this blip in my record. I'm far from being in my dream job, but I'm glad to be getting out of the house. I'd been holed up in my house for months, sometimes going weeks without stepping outside. Now, I'm out and interacting with people and my mental health is improving day by day. It takes time to recover from setbacks, and isolation makes it so much worse. Hang in there and try to get out and he around people. It's so important. Take care
Hey Catrific , i have been watching your youtube videos like months ago , nice to hear what you're doing :D happy to see you.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I also do deal with depression and anxiety. Stay strong girly and it’s never to late to start what you truly are passionate about in life🖤
We're in a very different, yet very similar situation. Being disabled 22-year-olds and still living with a parent, we definitely relate to what you said about having no idea why you're here or what you're meant to do. The depression hits hard and it sucks and we wouldn't wish it upon anyone, and we're sorry to hear that you're going through it too. We've been watching your videos for over 6 years, and we've always been amazed by your ability to take on anything your passions might lead you to. Sure, sometimes you may have failed, but that's just a thing that humans do sometimes. It's fine. But you've also succeeded multiple times and that will happen again. We're all going to figure this whole "life" thing out eventually, but until then, we're in this together. Love you, Cat :)
Happy Birtheay Catherine. I hope that you have the most special and best birthday that you can have whilst indoors.
i'm in my 30's and going through huge life changes as well. you used the word paralyzing in this video, and wow, what a great adjective. it feels like you're superglued in place and had concrete dumped over your head. it's wild. honestly acknowledging it is the first step, and then you've got to accept it. i think for me the thing that's helped the most is learning to be compassionate to me. and once i practiced self compassion i was able to start meditating and work on self forgiveness. i am finally coming to a really tranquil space introspectively of this just que sera sera contentment, but it's been... a journey. getting here. i think we get so caught up in perusing happiness that we forget about seeking peace. search for contentment. find tranquility. do more of what quiets your mind and then just robe yourself in that.
it doesn't feel like it when you're right in the middle of it, but this season will pass. it is a slow process, but it's a forward moving one. it may look stagnant from where you're standing, but just below the surface of you concentrate hard enough, you'll feel the current. just ride it out. we got this ❤️
When someone puts into words, something you have been trying to for the last year and half. Thank you x
You randomly came into my mind - used to watch your videos a long time ago! I hope you are doing well x
Cat,
I've been watching your videos since you worked at Daily Booth. I think it was a video of yours where you were giving a tour of the office. You've come such a far way! Just think about all of your accomplishments. You're only 30 and you've accomplished so much in life. You have so much to look forward too, even if it doesn't seem like it right now. Life works in a weird and mysterious way. Thank you for venting to us about how you're feeling right now. I've felt this way many times before. I'm a few years younger than you. At times, I've felt like I've had no purpose and not sure what direction life was taking me in. The best lesson I've learned is to surround myself with positive and loving people. I refuse to surround myself with toxic and negative people. It's all about the people around us that lift us up. Have you ever thought about getting back into League of Legends? I remember you being passionate about that for a while. You were pretty good at it too! Maybe dive back into the world of streaming on Twitch? Just a few suggestions. We're all on a different journey. I hope the best for you and your subscribers will always be here for you.
I hope you're doing alright cat, sending you lots of love ❤
this is the most real and relatable video i have seen on youtube in a long time. its hard to be going through an uncertain time like this, but seeing a video from someone in a similar space makes it a bit more bearable. 2019 has been a roller coaster, but brighter days are on the horizon for all of us, i'm sure of it! hang in there Cat, and know that you're not alone.
Girl everything you said I can relate! You’re so brave to have opened up like that!
Hey Cat! I went through the same quarter life crisis last year, and am happy to report that I'm feeling a lot better now :) As you've said, life might suck *right now*, but I think you're doing the right thing by simply feeling out what makes you happy and opening yourself up to new opportunity (eg randomly staying in London for a while or making another YT video because you know it makes you happy). I lost myself for a while there, and decided to move countries (again) to go back to university (again) to contribute to educate myself and to hopefully get some insight as to what it is that I want to do with my life from this point on. You got this, just continue to put yourself out there x
I just got diagnosed with a pretty bad mental illness after being hospitalized for like a month, and my mom was also just hospitalized because of me and her mental illness... So my year hasn't been going that well either. Thanks for opening up Cat. I hope you find your way through. I hope I find my way through as well.
I totally get it. I graduated college a year ago with a degree in advertising and public relations, but have no passion or desire to do anything in that field. I wish I was honest with myself while I was in school and switched my major, but I was ashamed to admit I didn't know what I wanted to do and was scared to be a 5th/6th year senior. And now I'm even scared to go back to school because I'll be older than everyone. I took time off to figure my life out and now job searching. But the anxiety/this circle of thought is just so paralyzing all I do is procrastinate. Ughhhh. I really relate to your depression and just staring at the wall feeling regret and questioning the purpose of it all. I'm taking it step by step though and reminding myself that even a little progress is still progress. Like getting up earlier, not laying down for as long, reaching out to friends, etc. Thank you for sharing.
Relate so hard with this!! I know it sounds trite but mistakes are just lessons you learn along the way, so don't beat yourself up Cat! Just take what you've learned and push past the hard stuff. I know, easier said than done, but you are not alone in this feeling. All the best! Xxx
Life can change so fast. I know how you feel. I felt the same at 30 after a long term relationship. Life is beautiful but also messy. Sometimes it looks like every one has figured it out, but it is not like this. Be not so hard on yourself. Starting someting new is never easy. But figureing out can be also a very nice time and adventurous. Thank you for beeing so real, in such a superficial world.
Those feelings are honestly just how your 20s and early 30s are so never lose hope. It does get better and while it’s easy to feel like you are not moving on or having kids or whatever, it doesn’t mean you are a failure. You will find yourself and be patient with it. Also, my grandma restarted her life at 60 after her kids left and went back to school so it’s never too late and feeling lost is ok. It took me years to find a direction and at the time I felt like I was failing myself or not living up to the expectations of everyone else, but I was able to pivot and find direction.
I can definitely relate to this video. All my friends seem to have their lives together and I have no idea what I want to do with mine. I have a BA in psychology and wasn't able to get a job since you need a master's or higher to do anything in the field. After graduating, I sheltered myself and became depressed and from there I became socially anxious. Even applying for higher paying jobs seems to scares me. My job, at the moment, doesn't relate to what I went to school for and pay is just enough to pay the bills. I paid out of pocket for a 4 yr degree that I don't even use. I understand you completely :(
life7777 I really hope things improve for you ❤️ post grad life is confusing but it always works out, even if it means taking a direction that’s different from what you originally thought :)
It's so good to see you again, love. I'm so sorry that this last year and a half has been so hard for you, I truly am, and I empathize. I'm in a very similar place as you are. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and I constantly feel like I'm running out of time to figure it out. You're not alone whatsoever, and you're such a strong person. You're going to get through this and we're all rooting for you. You're loved, you're cherished and I wish you nothing but the best💖💖
Ohmygosh hi Cat! It's been forever! I'm glad you're doing well. Refresh is great. I literally have a time in my day where I let my students "reset."
I missed you too. Always happy to see you in my sub box.
You've already kicked ass at UA-cam. So I think success comes naturally to you. I bet it won't be long till you're killing it at something else.
Have fun in London and with your family at home.
Was so happy to see you uploaded. I hope London is wonderful for you. I completely understand how you feel about life right now. I’m in the middle of a deep depressive episode and losing friends and might lose my job and it’s very difficult to find a purpose. But we all have to hang in there because we do have a purpose and it will get better. I hope you find what you want to do that’ll make you happy and that you’ll feel brave enough to take that leap. I believe in you and it’s so good to see you and hear about how you’re doing. Keep fighting and you will get there. Love you! xx
This is the most relatable video I’ve seen in a long time! With that being said; you also look the most at peace I’ve seen you in a long time!
I totally feel you on this.. I have a progressive neurodegenerative disease and I’ve been feeling that way for a long time. All of my friends are either getting married or having kids; and I’m over here, fighting for my life. It really freaking sucks. We should be friends haha, so we don’t feel so gosh darn isolated! I hope you feel better soon ♥️
Girl! I fucking get it and I'm there! 30 feels like a different type of teenage year when you're just trying to catch some sort of rhythm. It's hard because for years I knew what my life would be like here and it does not match up. It's scary, but completely beautiful in that you are still learning and growing as a person. Hang in there! The best is yet to come!
I really appreciate this video! I'm 32 and have had a pretty unconventional life and work (from dropping out of high school and moving to a hippie commune 2000 miles away at 18 to working for a congressperson and on the presidential election in 2016). The past 3 years I've been running my own small media company and being a full-time content creator is a "dream" for people younger than me, and my peers might be confused about what I do sometimes, but at the same time I watch my friends hit milestones that are simply not options with my current work + life. Not to mention the pressures of being your own boss where your life is part of the product. It's hard to know what to go into when you have skills for a job that doesn't really exist outside working for yourself.
I also did a life reset in London this year! I spent a month in August renting a shitty flat and a very nice coworking space in the East End, and while I did it because I am my own boss and can work remotely, I actually mostly did it to gain perspective on my life back in the states. I made sure I had a crappy apartment so I had to go outside a lot ;) otherwise I would've hidden in my flat. But I just love being in London - knowing it's there because ANYTHING feels possible (except a long-term work visa lol). In the end, the things I figured out (some with the help of my therapist) was that I wanted to work with a team, and I wanted a routine and to be forced to leave the house every day.
I'm making the choice to go back to a day job, and bring my content business down to part time and it often feels like I've "failed" - but in the end, it will make me happier.
I hope you find the healing you need, and it's okay to step off the track to "normal life"! You'll figure it out. It's not a race and there are no milestones. You just have to make the work and live the life that fulfills you. And I'm glad you still like making videos sometimes. :-) It started as a fun side hobby for most youtubers, not a job, and sometimes it's easier to leave it that way.
Also, weird advice, but I went back to figure skating after a 15 year break - something I did competitively as a teen but haven't touched. Doing it as an adult gave me something to look forward to, and it was nice to do something that wasn't monetized when nearly everything in my life has been. Plus, I'm good at it and it takes a lot of concentration where I can't have existential crises while I"m doing it because I'm focusing too much.
Literally me in a video. I’m 28’and I have no clue what I’m going to do with my life with and it feels like it’s not ok to feel like this
I watched until the end! I feel the same way with my creativity. I feel stumped and don’t know how to be creative. I feel that it’s important to have something to fall back on like a career but still have room to be creative and hopefully successful with it.