@@missamericausa go through the link- and seems to be four pages: two describing the book, one with the price of it and three lines of text in the last.
It offers valuable insights into the nuances of elegance and class. I appreciate the thoughtful advice and practical tips that can help anyone adopt a more refined and sophisticated demeanor. Excellent content!
and you will never get a real friend you can call bro or sis. Not telling you to share everything but you may one day question where to get someone who can really know you. But in the end, it comes down to what you seek in life and how you view/define humanity, life, and what it means as a being, what does it means to exist. Overprotective to your own informatino is an animalistic reaction due to fear. One cannot live a full life if one is in fear or act/ react / guide by fear or the fear of succumbing to fear.
Thanks for the advice. Keep these private: 1:35 Goals and achievements 3:50 Charity work 5:50 Financial status 8:35 Preserve your intimate relationships details 11:20 Arguments & conflicts 13:10 Keep your new ideas to yourself. Only share to somebody you trust and will support you.
I once found this in a book: "The aftermath of confidences is embarrassment." I have tended to be more open in the past couple of years but when you overshare, people can take advantage, including those that you thought were friends
@@danielle-bi3tkDon't be too hard on yourself. A lot of us did it all our lives and we are now learning. Once we have life, we can improve ourselves everyday.
I wish someone had told me this way back, maybe at 18. Then for a long time I followed all of this wisdom until people close to me suddenly passed away, boy was that a mistake to let my guard/privacy/elegance down. I was just lonely and then became a target, got even lonelier. Now OK, but I should listen to this everyday just to remind myself forever. Careful.
@@TheJoyofCooking24 I don't know, but reaching out to others shouldn't be humiliating, but it often is frustrating and makes us feel even more alone. And the same reaction from so many people, I wonder if they realize it. You loved the people who died, and then have no path forward.
@@summerrain3251 True, but a sad lesson at the wrong time. Then add people's internet addictions and you have an isolated society? HaHa. As I sit here posting on UA-cam. We need More face to face socializing, but more gradual or step by step. Careful.
I am frequently surprised by how much people overshare everything! I’m older (pre-social media days) and these rules were taught early. I’m happy I learned it long ago. Many people pretend to be your friend but don’t have your best interest at heart. Sad but true.
With the explosion of social media, I am astonished at how much people display of themselves to strangers. Privacy is already hard to obtain, don’t just give yourself away. We are all better off with a little mystery to others.
I knew people who posted driver's licence when they passed their diving test, educational achievements, holidays, new houses, cars, unpacking luxury items, new relationships, romantic kissy posts. It was all too much to see. Too much exposure and bragging about having a perfect life
Good presentation and nice tips. I am a senior citizen leading a happy & successful life in Canada. As per my experience, I would add that you must share with some dependable friends. Keep one point in mind that discuss with a person who is professionally or financially higher then you. Don't discuss with those who are lower then you as they will be jealous. This is a practical tip for success.
It's 100% about their spirit, I knew people who had less than those who had more but was geniune, supportive, king, loving and trustworthy where as the ones who had more in many ways were untrustworthy, toxic, competitive and secretly narcissistic. Don't judge based upon the materials and status, let God lead you to good people. God bless.
@@Time4change111I agree. It boils down to the person's character and background. Sixth sense is necessary for you to know who you should trust. Sometimes your friends are even more trusty than your relatives.
Used to share problems with fam n friends. I stopped long time ago because ppl pretend to be on yr side n later manipulate u. I am stronger nw after learning this n love my privacy. Ty Carol ❤ for this reaffirmation
Good summary! I enjoy solitaire while maintaining social harmony with people. That’s just out of my personality. I basically don’t rely on anyone in depth including family cuz they may not as wise as I thought. Truly, I feel lonely sometimes but why do I expect others really care about me as everyone is busy with their own business. Inner life journey is always on your own. Having company is nice but not always necessary. Need to share with someone? Find a professional, they never gossip or mislead.
My grandmother told me a long time ago that not everyone who walks with you has the best interest at heart for you. No matter how happy or hurt you are, you need to learn to know who to talk to. Most importantly, those who hate you do not stop projecting on you nonetheless. But keeping your goals private is paramount, and your charity work or any act of kindergarten should communicate to the universe - it surely reciprocates, not human beings, to gain praises. Even when they try to sabotage you, the universe knows your works - your goodness and, therefore,will protect and guide you❤❤❤
Thanks for sharing this. Unfortunately, a lot of people talk a lot. I am so great at keeping secrets that i kept my pregnancy a secret for 9 months. I only revealed this after he was born. I have found out that people are not genuinely happy for you.
I am frequently surprised my how much people overshare. I’m older (pre-social media days) and these rules were taught early. I’m happy I learned it long ago.
Social media has taken the elegance away from many people, and it can become more obvious that one is not even elegant when one keeps on flooding the newsfeed! There are many things that ought not to be shared...many things need to be kept...
I understand your perspective. Elegance involves discretion and authenticity. Sharing less can indeed bring more sophistication and mystery to our lifestyle.
I have lived in the UK for 40 years and we used to be really reserved, but now we have become more "Americanised" and are more likely to share our life details, as if we were talking to a therapist (tip: go to a therapist instead). My lovely American neighbour told me very private details about being estranged from her parents the first time I met her. I would never gossip to others about this but I was a little bit shocked by her openness - others might take advantage of her sincerity and vulnerability
Mostly agree... But the thing is, you probably have no idea what those women are ACTUALLY withholding. Offering a small amount of insignificant information is a very effective deflection strategy. Also, undesirable is not synonymous with fear. Not wanting to activate someone's jealousy isn't the same as being fearful. It can benefit you personally to avoid activating someone else's insecurities - particularly as a woman in a patriarchal society.
I remember telling a girlfriend of the beautiful dress I saw in a shop window and that I was going to buy. The very next day she went and bought that same dress for herself.😡
She is an independent woman Respect her She respects your preference and choices but does not want to depend on you financially Because some where some time she was shown by you that your money is superior She is a highly self respecting woman She is a keeper Respect her choices and acts Saying from my personal experience
These are good One thing that drives me bonkers is people sharing relationship problems on Facebook. There are times when people need advice. That is different. But a lot of time it is just to blow off steam. It so doesn’t help
careful. they may only want attention. you will waste your empathy and good advice and be left feeling frustrated and exhausted. they actually have no intention to make their situation better and in fact make it worse.
Unless you have a cause/business/charity to promote, I actually see no reason why someone should be on social media at all. You are publishing your personal information to the world - publishing - a lot of people seem blissfully unaware of the consequences. Employers, frenemies, neighbours, colleagues will find out more than you think about you. And you reveal yourself on social media, even when you boast/exaggerate/lie. Never ever put someone's photos/info/birthday details on social media without their permission, especially minors, e.g. your children.
Exactly!! People will post oh we're on vacation in another country, I went to this awesome party, etc. They're not thinking it all the way through ; now they know that nobody's home and your style of party might deter your job search.
If I was still working, I would not have a FB account or be on social media without being anonymous. Your information is sought by institutions and people. I stopped putting things on social media that could be detrimental to me.
This is why so many of us detest how awful American R&B and hip hop music has become. No one wants to hear about women’s private parts in such lewd and vulgar ways. It’s so disrespectful and very demoralizing for women but we don’t know how to make the music labels stop funding this attack on Blk women’s dignity.
Six things elegant people never share : 1. Goals and achievements 2. Acts of service and charity work 3. Financial Status 4. Intimate relationship details 5. Disagreements, fights and arguments 6. New Ideas
I learned the hard way not to share with friends if I’m interested in a man. I’ve had friends who never noticed the man until I said something, seek him out to flirt with him. I think it’s fair game to date & flirt with whoever, but not to do it suddenly on purpose because your friend likes them. I’m ok with both friends being interested in the same person and the person choosing who they like in return, so I’d rather not know who my friends like either, so that we can go for whoever we want. No one owns anyone, & I don’t like bro code or girl code type stuff that limits people’s opportunities. But to go & try to “take” someone just because someone else likes them is low.
I understand your point! It's always wise to be cautious when sharing your interests. Honesty and respect are fundamental in friendships. It's great that you've found a way to handle it.
I know two persons who lost their boyfriends that way, and they are now married to those persons. The same goes for you discussing your girlfriends with your mate.
I struggle to understand whether the people around me genuinely want what's best for me when I'm making decisions. I often get easily manipulated by them, and later, I realize that I made a decision I instantly regret. And i really want to overcome these kinda situations...........
We are all the product of several generations of foreparents. They all have had different life experiences. People tell you what suits them and their lives. Be yourself, do what suits you, relates to you, and not what other people feel is right for you. Study your friends' actions carefully, and you will understand what I am saying. Because of our lack of experience, insecurities, fear, and lack of confidence, which were caused by our past, we end up in this situation. Be strong. It takes time, but you will grow.
We clinical psychology profesdors calll there boundaries.. EVERYONE should have them. Yes many people resent others and women compete mainly thru reputation destruction and they can be very man ipulative. Women rarely try to physically overpower or physically intimidate others their main strategy is instead reputation destruction... Any facet of reputation.
I completely agree! Boundaries are essential for everyone. Recognizing these dynamics can help us handle them better. Thank you for sharing your insight!
"Your closest friends might be your enemy" hit hard for me! I stopped telling my two best friends when anything good happened to me because the negative reactions I always received. It made me FEEL GUILTY for being happy. I cut the negativity out of my life and don't really have friends now. It is refreshing and exciting to think it was just THEM and not everyone who behaves like that as a friend. This AI podcast just created an epiphany for me! 😂THANK YOU!!!
Yes!!!! BINGO! and I came to same conclusion on any social media. I am no where to be found. I hate facebook. I call it “IN YOUR FACE BOOK”. it’s a platform for promoting yourself and wow oh wow at all the conceited people out there, brag brag brag…. selfies a zillion all over blah blah blah what they did this and that. WHO CARES!
Facebook is still widely used in our country. It used to be fun and feel connected. But now I see people boasting their status, achievements and even sharing even the smallest details in their daily life becomes public. I wish to delete my Facebook account but I can't due to work reasons.
I am a therapist and one day I had lunch with another therapist. She did not pay attention...she spent the entire time talking about her fake friends, her marriage, fertility issues all while coming off as false. I merely nodded, interjected where appropriate...but shared nothing. I never spoke to her again.
As soon as you mentioned the Bible, I liked and subscribed ♥️ I didn’t realize you were Christian until then, but I kept listening anyway because I resonated with the Christian values, and then I realized you are, in fact, Christian 🥰 Amen, sister 🙏
I'm learning how to be "low-key" . Your video was very helpful into understanding why. Due to my autism I'm aa chronic oversharer and a blabber. I'm learning to not blab anymore because I can see how it had negative consequences.
The Queen of England is a good example of mystery and elegance. I learn from her, being reserved and not over sharing. I deactivated Instagram, which I hardly post stories. On WhatsApp, i have stopped posting stories. I've gone completely private and mystery
People have shared extremely private things with me. I don't mind and never share. Secrets I will take to the grave. You don't have to share with everyone, of course, but being open shows you are not the only one and can help you in life.
Thanks for the good advice! I kept to myself for most of my life and made the mistake of trusting someone close to me who said I should open up more. 😂 Yeah, they're gone from my life now thank goodness! Envy in people is a nasty demon to deal with!
Another point is if people won’t take time to be with you (coffee, lunch, etc.) then they don’t deserve any insight into your life (includes family). I’ve told people about events happening in town, for example. They tell others and leave me at home. Not happening anymore.
It is shocking how many people will do things to undermine you. Sometimes it’s even parents or siblings, even people you have have known for years. I grew up in a very affluent family and as a teen had people who wanted to know me because me because of my families’ income and social status. I also had others including teaches not give me full credit because they thought that I already had unfair advantage.
Elegant people will NEVER put you on the spot and ask inappropriate questions EVER. If you are asked inappropriate questions be aware that is NOT a good or kind person.
The experiences have had are with my spouse, I just discovered that he is not happy with any new ideas or suggestions i bring to the table; he is always ready to critize and say negatives..its quite disturbing
Share details please about your relationships. I was in emotionally and physically abusive relationships and kept details to myself to prevent my loved ones from turning against my partner. Ended up in therapy where it was splayed out in front of my how unsafe I’d been. Therapist recommended I talk to my loved ones when things don’t seem right. As those situations could have been caught long before they got very bad.
I too didn’t share my unhappiness with anyone and when I couldn’t play that game anymore everyone was shocked when we split up in a nasty breakup. Cost me too many years.
I'm sorry you went through that. Talking to your loved ones is crucial, as they can offer support and help identify signs of abuse. Open communication can prevent situations from worsening.
I'm very sorry you went through that. Sometimes, keeping pain inside only prolongs the suffering. Learning to open up and seek support can be a big step towards healing and avoiding years of unhappiness.
Thank you for your valuable advice I must be more careful to learn when expressing whats kept in my heart i must restore my privatcy in front of others to prevent hatre and jeslousy Thank you.❤
Glad you ignored them and had the courage and self motivation to pursue your education. We don't always get the validation from family and friends. That's OK. Just do it for yourself and no one can ever take that away from you. I did and so can you. All the best. Cape Town 🇿🇦
I see Taylor Swift as one of these elegant people. She could complain so much on social media and yet she remains mysterious and people have to dig to figure out anything about her personal life. And then more details come out through her songs, which she profits on. Genius. I’ve definitely been an oversharer and need to work on that significantly starting with this next move and job change!
I demonstrated such happiness upon receiving the college dean job and quietly, exhibited that happiness; people jealously worked to destroy my opportunity.
Where then do you drwan the line beteen privacy and building your online presence especially as a communication students were having a robust online presence is much appreciated??
It's important to balance privacy and online presence. Share what you're comfortable with, keeping personal details protected. Set clear boundaries to ensure safety and authenticity.
One time, a client of mine asked me why my parents got divorced. LMAO ?! Who cares and why is it any of your business ? My answer was “I assume they didn’t want to be married anymore” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ People are so weird and ask such stupid questions. 80% of the time, I give vague half-truthful answers to questions about my life. No one really cares anyway; most people just want dirt on you so they can use it against you later.
I lost the relationship with my sister and best friend by over sharing my happiness in my new relationship. I had no idea that these two would react so negatively. I solicited envy and jealousy. We never know if those with whom we share are actually very lonely and unfulfilled and NOT happy for us.
The day after tomorrow you can say that you enjoyed the fireworks display at the beach and that they had great BBQ and funnel cake. That's engaging because people can relate to that experience but not personal because it doesn't tell us anything about you.
I remember When I told one of my good friend about my plan to holiday to isle of Wight. Next I know that she is in Isle of Wight with one of her friend and family .
That was not personal, she did not take anything away from you. If she planned to go with you on the trip, then that is different. People often give tips on places to go for a vacation. I say this because I travel a lot and share a lot of travel information with people.
problems always come from people around me or even family members when they know too much about me, what I am going to do, where I am about, etc.... Just don't trust them too much, they can ruin you in many different ways.
About not sharing your financial situation, one of my siblings knew I like to save my money. For their Birthday I gave them money for their gift. They were upset that I didn't give the more since they know I like to saved. 😑 The amount of money that I gave my sibling was enough to afford a couples dinner. It's not like I gave the $10
i think it’s ok to share, as long as you understand that whatever you said would also be shared with others without your consent. I do share as it’s alright to socialise, but i make sure to share things that will not put me in a negative light or put me to shame, i mean it’s really a game of balancing. Self-depreciating humour is ok, but do not give others any reason to incriminate you. I realize in the workplace, it’s not good to share what your are weak at, people who are mean will say yes she can’t do this as she’s weak in this, but they like do not know you at all. Anyway, just remain sharp, sometimes i purposely share things to a big mouth that i wish to be broadcast to the person who I do not wish to talk directly to… and if the reaction is not what i wish, i know the answer
Is it too late if you’ve already done all those things 😩 I still feel like I’m doing these things now. Can you still rebrand yourself as an elegant & sophisticated woman? I’m cringing at myself because I’ve done everything 😖
It's never too late to change and reinvent yourself. With patience and consistency, you can become the elegant and sophisticated woman you want to be. Everyone makes mistakes; the important thing is to learn and grow. 💖
To: Lucrative Elegance I have overshared EVERYTHING you've said not to overshare where I work. And it has ruined the way people view me. I've felt this for a while. I'm viewed as immature and not elegant. Is there any way I can fix this? I know I can stop oversharing, bit is there anytime g I can do to change the way they view me. And none of my co-workers treat me bad. They haven't even said anything. I just k ow I've made myself look bad to my favorite people in the world 😢
Don't worry, it's possible to change people's perception. Be consistent in your actions, show maturity and elegance daily. Over time, your colleagues will notice the change. 🌟
@@LucrativeElegance Thankyou so much, I'm gonna try harder to be conscious of what I'm saying and think before u speak. I love how you mentioned the Bibke in there. I also try to remember the verse let every man be swift to hear, slow to wrath, and slow to speak: James 1:19 And 1 Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; I'm just having trouble remembering to do so.
EBook: "Be Elegant While Traveling: Global Etiquette for the Sophisticated Traveler" - lucrativeelegance.hotmart.host/ebook
How many pages is the book?
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅ppppppp😅😅
@@missamericausavaaaaaAAAaaÀ
@@missamericausa go through the link- and seems to be four pages: two describing the book, one with the price of it and three lines of text in the last.
It offers valuable insights into the nuances of elegance and class. I appreciate the thoughtful advice and practical tips that can help anyone adopt a more refined and sophisticated demeanor. Excellent content!
Don’t tell people your problems. Half of them don’t care, and the other half are glad.
It's true, not everyone cares. Choose wisely who you share with. Surround yourself with those who truly support you.
There you go !!!!!! ❤
How true 👍
That's one of the funniest but true quotes I've heard in a while.😂
You are quite right but there is a tiny % that actually do empathise and offer their help. That is when friendships are born.
Don't complain, don't explain ....my motto.
Much of my life, no one's business but mine
So nice 🎉 inspired
Exactly 💯
Wow I like this
and you will never get a real friend you can call bro or sis. Not telling you to share everything but you may one day question where to get someone who can really know you. But in the end, it comes down to what you seek in life and how you view/define humanity, life, and what it means as a being, what does it means to exist. Overprotective to your own informatino is an animalistic reaction due to fear. One cannot live a full life if one is in fear or act/ react / guide by fear or the fear of succumbing to fear.
I need this motto in my life. I complain and explain too much.
Thanks for the advice.
Keep these private:
1:35 Goals and achievements
3:50 Charity work
5:50 Financial status
8:35 Preserve your intimate relationships details
11:20 Arguments & conflicts
13:10 Keep your new ideas to yourself. Only share to somebody you trust and will support you.
Thank for the recap
Thank you!!
Thank you 🙏🏽
Awesome thank you
In other words, dont tell anyone anything, dont do anything that others can see. Everyone is just waiting to shit all over everything you do.
I once found this in a book: "The aftermath of confidences is embarrassment." I have tended to be more open in the past couple of years but when you overshare, people can take advantage, including those that you thought were friends
So true! I just learn this the hard way. Be careful 🙏🏽
true
i was suferring from lonliness last year so i used to overshare a lot with anyone who gave me attention
and now i regret it so much
@@danielle-bi3tk Hugs to you it surely will get better xx
I wish I had seen this quote in a book years ago it would have saved me a tonne 🤣🤣🤣
@@danielle-bi3tkDon't be too hard on yourself. A lot of us did it all our lives and we are now learning. Once we have life, we can improve ourselves everyday.
Intelligent people always keep a comfortable distance from those around them without destroying the good relationships
exactly
❤❤❤❤thanks
I wish someone had told me this way back, maybe at 18. Then for a long time I followed all of this wisdom until people close to me suddenly passed away, boy was that a mistake to let my guard/privacy/elegance down. I was just lonely and then became a target, got even lonelier. Now OK, but I should listen to this everyday just to remind myself forever. Careful.
I feel the same way ! i needed to hear this years ago
Gosh...you just described my life. After I lost my brother I let myself being humiliated.
@@TheJoyofCooking24 I don't know, but reaching out to others shouldn't be humiliating, but it often is frustrating and makes us feel even more alone. And the same reaction from so many people, I wonder if they realize it. You loved the people who died, and then have no path forward.
You live and you learn. At least you learned. Some people never do.
@@summerrain3251 True, but a sad lesson at the wrong time. Then add people's internet addictions and you have an isolated society? HaHa. As I sit here posting on UA-cam.
We need More face to face socializing, but more gradual or step by step. Careful.
I am frequently surprised by how much people overshare everything! I’m older (pre-social media days) and these rules were taught early. I’m happy I learned it long ago. Many people pretend to be your friend but don’t have your best interest at heart. Sad but true.
With the explosion of social media, I am astonished at how much people display of themselves to strangers. Privacy is already hard to obtain, don’t just give yourself away. We are all better off with a little mystery to others.
This is sweet
I knew people who posted driver's licence when they passed their diving test, educational achievements, holidays, new houses, cars, unpacking luxury items, new relationships, romantic kissy posts. It was all too much to see. Too much exposure and bragging about having a perfect life
@@lydiamusima5257 exactly
Good presentation and nice tips. I am a senior citizen leading a happy & successful life in Canada. As per my experience, I would add that you must share with some dependable friends. Keep one point in mind that discuss with a person who is professionally or financially higher then you. Don't discuss with those who are lower then you as they will be jealous. This is a practical tip for success.
It's 100% about their spirit, I knew people who had less than those who had more but was geniune, supportive, king, loving and trustworthy where as the ones who had more in many ways were untrustworthy, toxic, competitive and secretly narcissistic. Don't judge based upon the materials and status, let God lead you to good people. God bless.
Well if no one else is sharing info about themselves, how do you know who might be better off than you?
@@Time4change111I agree. It boils down to the person's character and background. Sixth sense is necessary for you to know who you should trust. Sometimes your friends are even more trusty than your relatives.
Good tips . " NEVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT YOUR MONEY YOUR YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR YOUR NEXT MOVE".
“Interest in what you have than who you are” “true elegance lies in being reserved and discreet”
7:53 "True elegance lies in being reserved and discreet"
GIRLLL WHEN YOU QUOTED THE BIBLE ✨✨✨✨
I'm glad you liked it! The wisdom of the Bible can inspire elegance and grace in our lives. ✨✨✨✨
Loved
Used to share problems with fam n friends. I stopped long time ago because ppl pretend to be on yr side n later manipulate u. I am stronger nw after learning this n love my privacy. Ty Carol ❤ for this reaffirmation
Good summary! I enjoy solitaire while maintaining social harmony with people. That’s just out of my personality. I basically don’t rely on anyone in depth including family cuz they may not as wise as I thought. Truly, I feel lonely sometimes but why do I expect others really care about me as everyone is busy with their own business. Inner life journey is always on your own. Having company is nice but not always necessary. Need to share with someone? Find a professional, they never gossip or mislead.
I understand your feelings. The inner life is a personal journey. Having a professional to talk to can be really beneficial.
My grandmother told me a long time ago that not everyone who walks with you has the best interest at heart for you. No matter how happy or hurt you are, you need to learn to know who to talk to. Most importantly, those who hate you do not stop projecting on you nonetheless. But keeping your goals private is paramount, and your charity work or any act of kindergarten should communicate to the universe - it surely reciprocates, not human beings, to gain praises. Even when they try to sabotage you, the universe knows your works - your goodness and, therefore,will protect and guide you❤❤❤
Wish I had know that sooner!
Thanks for sharing this. Unfortunately, a lot of people talk a lot. I am so great at keeping secrets that i kept my pregnancy a secret for 9 months. I only revealed this after he was born. I have found out that people are not genuinely happy for you.
I am frequently surprised my how much people overshare. I’m older (pre-social media days) and these rules were taught early. I’m happy I learned it long ago.
Social media has taken the elegance away from many people, and it can become more obvious that one is not even elegant when one keeps on flooding the newsfeed! There are many things that ought not to be shared...many things need to be kept...
I understand your perspective. Elegance involves discretion and authenticity. Sharing less can indeed bring more sophistication and mystery to our lifestyle.
@@LucrativeElegance You got my subscription!
Agreed
That's right! I once heard the saying: "You should not brag about your own achievements, because sooner or later others will know"
Exactly! True elegance lies in discretion and confidence. 💫
I have lived in the UK for 40 years and we used to be really reserved, but now we have become more "Americanised" and are more likely to share our life details, as if we were talking to a therapist (tip: go to a therapist instead). My lovely American neighbour told me very private details about being estranged from her parents the first time I met her. I would never gossip to others about this but I was a little bit shocked by her openness - others might take advantage of her sincerity and vulnerability
Maybe she felt safe enough to let it out. Maybe telling her tragic truths set her free. And here you are..with what she felt safe enough to tell you.
@@allchristchannellol 😂
People with traumas tend to do this-oversharing personal information too soon.
I share because I don't care. It's just a story and blip in my life. I've gotten good advice, too.
In my experience, elegant women aren't withholding and fearful of jealousy. They are generous, inclusive, encouraging and inspirational.
Mostly agree... But the thing is, you probably have no idea what those women are ACTUALLY withholding. Offering a small amount of insignificant information is a very effective deflection strategy.
Also, undesirable is not synonymous with fear. Not wanting to activate someone's jealousy isn't the same as being fearful. It can benefit you personally to avoid activating someone else's insecurities - particularly as a woman in a patriarchal society.
I remember telling a girlfriend of the beautiful dress I saw in a shop window and that I was going to buy. The very next day she went and bought that same dress for herself.😡
Why does it matter that she bought it ? Obviously you have good taste
She is an independent woman
Respect her
She respects your preference and choices but does not want to depend on you financially
Because some where some time she was shown by you that your money is superior
She is a highly self respecting woman
She is a keeper
Respect her choices and acts
Saying from my personal experience
YEP👗COMPETING WITH YOU🥴
A good test to know if she is a real friend!
sorry for laughing
I agree being mysterious but also a good mindset.
I totally agree! Being mysterious and having a good mindset is a powerful combination.
These are good
One thing that drives me bonkers is people sharing relationship problems on Facebook. There are times when people need advice. That is different. But a lot of time it is just to blow off steam. It so doesn’t help
careful. they may only want attention. you will waste your empathy and good advice and be left feeling frustrated and exhausted. they actually have no intention to make their situation better and in fact make it worse.
I agree, sharing relationship problems on social media can be tricky. Seeking advice privately can be more productive and respectful.
Unless you have a cause/business/charity to promote, I actually see no reason why someone should be on social media at all. You are publishing your personal information to the world - publishing - a lot of people seem blissfully unaware of the consequences. Employers, frenemies, neighbours, colleagues will find out more than you think about you. And you reveal yourself on social media, even when you boast/exaggerate/lie. Never ever put someone's photos/info/birthday details on social media without their permission, especially minors, e.g. your children.
Exactly!! People will post oh we're on vacation in another country, I went to this awesome party, etc. They're not thinking it all the way through ; now they know that nobody's home and your style of party might deter your job search.
If I was still working, I would not have a FB account or be on social media without being anonymous. Your information is sought by institutions and people. I stopped putting things on social media that could be detrimental to me.
I am quite reserved. So am often shocked how people discuss their sexual lifes. As though that were normal. NO...its vulger and l dont want to know.
interesting podcast yesterday noted that in France they do in the US they do not.
EEEEUUUUUWW
This is why so many of us detest how awful American R&B and hip hop music has become. No one wants to hear about women’s private parts in such lewd and vulgar ways. It’s so disrespectful and very demoralizing for women but we don’t know how to make the music labels stop funding this attack on Blk women’s dignity.
exactly, some of my friends are not even aware that i am in a relationship
😂👍.
Six things elegant people never share :
1. Goals and achievements
2. Acts of service and charity work
3. Financial Status
4. Intimate relationship details
5. Disagreements, fights and arguments
6. New Ideas
I have learnt over the years that this advice is truly helpful.
I'm glad to know the advice has been helpful for you! Continuing to learn and grow is essential.
I shared that I felt so joyful to take a dryer to a family in need at Christmas and a "friend" criticized me for it.
Excellent suggestions. Great examples of why broadcasting all the intimate details of ones life is beyond gosh.
Glad you liked the suggestions! Privacy is truly precious and should be respected.
Vile and perverted language helps no one. This is the message. You are appreciated. Thanks. Amen. 😊
I completely agree! Maintaining a positive and respectful environment is essential. Thank you for your support and kind words. Amen! 😊
I find some people want to tell you all about everything- but don’t you dare to, you get that look .
I learned the hard way not to share with friends if I’m interested in a man. I’ve had friends who never noticed the man until I said something, seek him out to flirt with him. I think it’s fair game to date & flirt with whoever, but not to do it suddenly on purpose because your friend likes them. I’m ok with both friends being interested in the same person and the person choosing who they like in return, so I’d rather not know who my friends like either, so that we can go for whoever we want. No one owns anyone, & I don’t like bro code or girl code type stuff that limits people’s opportunities. But to go & try to “take” someone just because someone else likes them is low.
I understand your point! It's always wise to be cautious when sharing your interests. Honesty and respect are fundamental in friendships. It's great that you've found a way to handle it.
I know two persons who lost their boyfriends that way, and they are now married to those persons. The same goes for you discussing your girlfriends with your mate.
I struggle to understand whether the people around me genuinely want what's best for me when I'm making decisions. I often get easily manipulated by them, and later, I realize that I made a decision I instantly regret.
And i really want to overcome these kinda situations...........
We are all the product of several generations of foreparents. They all have had different life experiences. People tell you what suits them and their lives. Be yourself, do what suits you, relates to you, and not what other people feel is right for you. Study your friends' actions carefully, and you will understand what I am saying. Because of our lack of experience, insecurities, fear, and lack of confidence, which were caused by our past, we end up in this situation. Be strong.
It takes time, but you will grow.
@@islandgirl3330 Thankyou so much😇
We clinical psychology profesdors calll there boundaries.. EVERYONE should have them. Yes many people resent others and women compete mainly thru reputation destruction and they can be very man ipulative. Women rarely try to physically overpower or physically intimidate others their main strategy is instead reputation destruction... Any facet of reputation.
I completely agree! Boundaries are essential for everyone. Recognizing these dynamics can help us handle them better. Thank you for sharing your insight!
True-disordered people do that.
Thanks for sharing such a valuable truth!
It is a sad world that people can be so jealous of others and have no good-will for others.
"Your closest friends might be your enemy" hit hard for me! I stopped telling my two best friends when anything good happened to me because the negative reactions I always received. It made me FEEL GUILTY for being happy. I cut the negativity out of my life and don't really have friends now. It is refreshing and exciting to think it was just THEM and not everyone who behaves like that as a friend. This AI podcast just created an epiphany for me! 😂THANK YOU!!!
Facebook is all about comparing. No wonder mental health is now the top killer. I cant be found anywhere on sites. Really dangerious.
Yes!!!! BINGO! and I came to same conclusion on any social media. I am no where to be found. I hate facebook. I call it “IN YOUR FACE BOOK”. it’s a platform for promoting yourself and wow oh wow at all the conceited people out there, brag brag brag…. selfies a zillion all over blah blah blah what they did this and that. WHO CARES!
Amen and Amen❤
Facebook is still widely used in our country. It used to be fun and feel connected. But now I see people boasting their status, achievements and even sharing even the smallest details in their daily life becomes public. I wish to delete my Facebook account but I can't due to work reasons.
I am a therapist and one day I had lunch with another therapist. She did not pay attention...she spent the entire time talking about her fake friends, her marriage, fertility issues all while coming off as false. I merely nodded, interjected where appropriate...but shared nothing. I never spoke to her again.
Happens since ages,no real friends,only takers,this is so sad.Thx so much for
As soon as you mentioned the Bible, I liked and subscribed ♥️ I didn’t realize you were Christian until then, but I kept listening anyway because I resonated with the Christian values, and then I realized you are, in fact, Christian 🥰 Amen, sister 🙏
I'm so glad to hear that! It's great that you identified with Christian values. Welcome! Amen, sister. 🙏🥰
Same here. Thank you for mentioning The Bible.
I'm learning how to be "low-key" . Your video was very helpful into understanding why. Due to my autism I'm aa chronic oversharer and a blabber. I'm learning to not blab anymore because I can see how it had negative consequences.
I'm glad my video helped! Keep practicing and be kind to yourself. 💖
The Queen of England is a good example of mystery and elegance. I learn from her, being reserved and not over sharing. I deactivated Instagram, which I hardly post stories. On WhatsApp, i have stopped posting stories. I've gone completely private and mystery
That's amazing! I admire your dedication to elegance and mystery. Keeping it that way can be very powerful. ✨
Very valuable lessons I learned the hard way. This lesson should be thought starting in middle school school
I totally agree! Learning early can make all the difference in the future.
People have shared extremely private things with me. I don't mind and never share. Secrets I will take to the grave. You don't have to share with everyone, of course, but being open shows you are not the only one and can help you in life.
Thanks for the good advice! I kept to myself for most of my life and made the mistake of trusting someone close to me who said I should open up more. 😂 Yeah, they're gone from my life now thank goodness! Envy in people is a nasty demon to deal with!
Another point is if people won’t take time to be with you (coffee, lunch, etc.) then they don’t deserve any insight into your life (includes family). I’ve told people about events happening in town, for example. They tell others and leave me at home. Not happening anymore.
THIS!
It is shocking how many people will do things to undermine you. Sometimes it’s even parents or siblings, even people you have have known for years. I grew up in a very affluent family and as a teen had people who wanted to know me because me because of my families’ income and social status. I also had others including teaches not give me full credit because they thought that I already had unfair advantage.
Elegant people will NEVER put you on the spot and ask inappropriate questions EVER. If you are asked inappropriate questions be aware that is NOT a good or kind person.
I totally agree! Elegance lies in respect and empathy towards others. ✨
Doctors, being exempt from this rule.
Agreed, BUT how does one respond when confronted with a person who DOES???
Excellent talk.
All are valid points!
Thank you! 😘❤️
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you giving biblical support to your points. 🎉
Yes you are totally right sometimes sharing ideas makes people stealing . Thank you so much for reminding me. ❤❤❤
It's true, protecting your ideas is important. I'm glad I could help! ❤❤❤
How about LinkedIn profiles where one gets exposed to anyone's online search? What's your advice?
The experiences have had are with my spouse, I just discovered that he is not happy with any new ideas or suggestions i bring to the table; he is always ready to critize and say negatives..its quite disturbing
Domestic violence should never be kept private.
Well domestic violence is not part of the list. Have you really watched the video to the end?
Share details please about your relationships. I was in emotionally and physically abusive relationships and kept details to myself to prevent my loved ones from turning against my partner. Ended up in therapy where it was splayed out in front of my how unsafe I’d been. Therapist recommended I talk to my loved ones when things don’t seem right. As those situations could have been caught long before they got very bad.
❤this happened to me too. I should’ve shared how bad it was.
I too didn’t share my unhappiness with anyone and when I couldn’t play that game anymore everyone was shocked when we split up in a nasty breakup. Cost me too many years.
I'm sorry you went through that. Talking to your loved ones is crucial, as they can offer support and help identify signs of abuse. Open communication can prevent situations from worsening.
I'm very sorry you went through that. Sometimes, keeping pain inside only prolongs the suffering. Learning to open up and seek support can be a big step towards healing and avoiding years of unhappiness.
Totally agree!! This is what my husband and I did keeping things in private 😊
👏👏👏👏
thank you for sharing about 6 things elegant never share. Its help a lots.
Thank you for sharing and making this video ❤
Thank you for watching and for your kindness! ❤
Thank you for your valuable advice
I must be more careful to learn when expressing whats kept in my heart i must restore my privatcy in front of others to prevent hatre and jeslousy Thank you.❤
OMG! Very true!!
👏👏👏👏
So many people who had no college degree, discouraged me about getting mine. I did it anyway but they made me feel bad in the process.
Glad you ignored them and had the courage and self motivation to pursue your education. We don't always get the validation from family and friends. That's OK. Just do it for yourself and no one can ever take that away from you. I did and so can you. All the best. Cape Town 🇿🇦
I see Taylor Swift as one of these elegant people. She could complain so much on social media and yet she remains mysterious and people have to dig to figure out anything about her personal life. And then more details come out through her songs, which she profits on. Genius. I’ve definitely been an oversharer and need to work on that significantly starting with this next move and job change!
This is one of the most valuable videos in the internet ❤
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it so much! ❤
Agree 🔥
I demonstrated such happiness upon receiving the college dean job and quietly, exhibited that happiness; people jealously worked to destroy my opportunity.
Great advice,thank you 👏
😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️
Just tried the 4ra platform, super smooth and easy to use 🎉
Where then do you drwan the line beteen privacy and building your online presence especially as a communication students were having a robust online presence is much appreciated??
It's important to balance privacy and online presence. Share what you're comfortable with, keeping personal details protected. Set clear boundaries to ensure safety and authenticity.
One time, a client of mine asked me why my parents got divorced. LMAO ?! Who cares and why is it any of your business ? My answer was “I assume they didn’t want to be married anymore” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ People are so weird and ask such stupid questions. 80% of the time, I give vague half-truthful answers to questions about my life. No one really cares anyway; most people just want dirt on you so they can use it against you later.
I shared about difficulties in our family and marriage. This person then tried to pursue my husband.
Thanks for the advice ❤
😘😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️
Thank you thank you thank you great advice.💯
😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️
You won me when you showed Jessica Pearson’s picture ♥️
I'm so happy to hear that! Jessica Pearson is a great inspiration of elegance and power. Thank you for the love! ❤️
I lost the relationship with my sister and best friend by over sharing my happiness in my new relationship. I had no idea that these two would react so negatively. I solicited envy and jealousy. We never know if those with whom we share are actually very lonely and unfulfilled and NOT happy for us.
Thank you . Best tips I heard so far 😊
I'm glad you liked the tips! Always here to help. 😊
I'm so glad I listened to this. I've failed in all theses areas. May I ask though, what can we share?
The day after tomorrow you can say that you enjoyed the fireworks display at the beach and that they had great BBQ and funnel cake. That's engaging because people can relate to that experience but not personal because it doesn't tell us anything about you.
@@shianeharris1340 So true thankyou for the advice!
I remember When I told one of my good friend about my plan to holiday to isle of Wight. Next I know that she is in Isle of Wight with one of her friend and family .
That was not personal, she did not take anything away from you. If she planned to go with you on the trip, then that is different. People often give tips on places to go for a vacation. I say this because I travel a lot and share a lot of travel information with people.
Learning this in my older age
4ra’s betting scene is something else, yaar. Never disappointing with the odds and prizes 🏆👌
Thank you 😊
😘❤️
Ha I'm Steve.,❤ nice to meet you. I love you😂🎉
Keep everything private 🤐😂👍
Sure, privacy first! 😉👍
This video is so good, I´ve been taking lots of notes of each pont!! thank you so muuucch
I'm so glad you liked the video! Thank you for the support and keep watching! 😊
Great information great articulation
Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked the content and how it was presented.
So you didn’t get a raise because your boss didn’t think you needed one? No, you didn’t need a raise… You needed another job! ❤
Can you believe it? That's exactly what I did. I switched jobs and I'm doing so much better now! 😄💪
problems always come from people around me or even family members when they know too much about me, what I am going to do, where I am about, etc.... Just don't trust them too much, they can ruin you in many different ways.
Thank you!!!
You're welcome! Happy to help!
Social media encourages oversharing. Be careful of what you share, people.😢
About not sharing your financial situation, one of my siblings knew I like to save my money. For their Birthday I gave them money for their gift. They were upset that I didn't give the more since they know I like to saved. 😑
The amount of money that I gave my sibling was enough to afford a couples dinner. It's not like I gave the $10
i think it’s ok to share, as long as you understand that whatever you said would also be shared with others without your consent. I do share as it’s alright to socialise, but i make sure to share things that will not put me in a negative light or put me to shame, i mean it’s really a game of balancing. Self-depreciating humour is ok, but do not give others any reason to incriminate you. I realize in the workplace, it’s not good to share what your are weak at, people who are mean will say yes she can’t do this as she’s weak in this, but they like do not know you at all. Anyway, just remain sharp, sometimes i purposely share things to a big mouth that i wish to be broadcast to the person who I do not wish to talk directly to… and if the reaction is not what i wish, i know the answer
For real
Thanks for being
😘❤️
Very helpful, thanks
😘❤️
Is it too late if you’ve already done all those things 😩 I still feel like I’m doing these things now. Can you still rebrand yourself as an elegant & sophisticated woman? I’m cringing at myself because I’ve done everything 😖
You're authentic and real.
It's never too late to change and reinvent yourself. With patience and consistency, you can become the elegant and sophisticated woman you want to be. Everyone makes mistakes; the important thing is to learn and grow. 💖
I would like to talk like you. the way you talk is already very elegant. ☺️
How sweet!
To: Lucrative Elegance
I have overshared EVERYTHING you've said not to overshare where I work. And it has ruined the way people view me. I've felt this for a while. I'm viewed as immature and not elegant. Is there any way I can fix this? I know I can stop oversharing, bit is there anytime g I can do to change the way they view me.
And none of my co-workers treat me bad. They haven't even said anything. I just k ow I've made myself look bad to my favorite people in the world 😢
Don't worry, it's possible to change people's perception. Be consistent in your actions, show maturity and elegance daily. Over time, your colleagues will notice the change. 🌟
@@LucrativeElegance Thankyou so much, I'm gonna try harder to be conscious of what I'm saying and think before u speak. I love how you mentioned the Bibke in there. I also try to remember the verse let every man be swift to hear, slow to wrath, and slow to speak: James 1:19 And 1 Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
I'm just having trouble remembering to do so.
Yes, best maxims of life.
Social media is meant only to give general advice as an agony aunt.😊
Good advice ❤
I'm glad you liked it! ❤
Fantastic video!
Thank you! 😘❤️