This is my review of Cats
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- Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
- Every meowment of this film freaks meowt
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Epidemic Sound - The Music Box
Hi, Al. This video is a dub of a Twitter meme about a review of Cats (2019). Please show it to people who will like it. Thank you.
Every meowment of this film freaks meowt
E
E
Okay 😎
e
Nice pun 👍
This was a stronger example of pure horror and helplessness than every halloween-based movie this year, possibly this decade
1.5k likes and no reply wtf?
Except mine.
i shall take my spot in the replies for this comment is true
this is what i've been saying for months, maybe years
Yeah.
I got scared when I heard the word fatherless
Hearing how desperate and hopeless he is just by his voice, i can clearly say that this is one of the saddest stories i've ever heard.
1.4K likes and no replies? Let’s fix that.
oh my god it's you
but I can feel the pain in his voice
Dong commenting exactly what happens in the video for the 4959959105th time with no insight because he assumes his child audience will fall for it (THEY WILL)
@@thewolfleader500 true lmao
i see u everywhere lol 💀
This feels like a villain's backstory
He even has his supervillain costume !
"Why do I hate cats, you ask?"
Dogwelder's (DC) arch nemesis Catwelder
Cruella but more sympathetic
Catwoman? 😂
I love the delivery of each "yowling, prowling, *fucking*"
You never fuck things up man
Props to the person who wrote it, too. They seem to be really good at writing. The repetition of the phrase, “yowling, prowling, fucking”, a set of three two-syllable -ing words, really helps get what the reviewer is trying to say across. It also lends a feeling of contempt for how horrifically close “Cats” (2019) is to the reviewer’s experience with cats (the real-life creature).
You get two pieces of art, the visual and the audible. Combine them together and you get a masterpiece.
The cats did.
This has to be the most despair that the movie Cats has ever induced in a person, except maybe in the CGI teams that was put in the conditions where they had to produce such a movie
Could you imagine animating this? I would never work in VFX again
@@coleglenn8634 Doing the CGI for Cats (2019) is the sort of thing you keep off of your CV.
Or being part of the team that had to edit James Cordon's asshole out of the scene
Heard a talk from one of CGI artists from the Golden Compass, where they had to cobble together a scene post filming from footage meant for an entirely different scene in an entirely location with entirely different lighting.
I imagine the Cats people sounded a lot like that guy - just pure, defeated disbelief.
I decided to never go into movie CGI after that talk.
The original cut of the movie included buttholes on all the cats. They were digitally removed after test screen viewers asked why the hell they were there in the first place.
My parents were dog breeders. I spent my childhood surrounded by cute cuddly puppies. I am 37 now, and a perfectly normal adult.
And to head things off at the pass.... No it wasn't a puppy mill. My parents vetted each buyer and each puppy had a lifetime guarantee. If the dog didn't work out at their new home, ours became their forever home. I saw many of the pups to their old age and stayed with them at their final minutes.
@@L0stEngineer Good to hear responsible breeders still existed at that time. Nowadays it seems there are so many puppy Mills, I have simply given up and adopt mutts from shelters. If they have health problems due to genetics, I will at least know I didn't contribute in creating such problems.
that's what a non-perfectly normal person would say
just wait until dogs the musical (a prequel to cats) is written
Dogs in heat and tomcats in heat are two entirely different things. If the cats weren't caged basically all the time (which would be inhumane), OPs childhood home smells eternally of cat piss. And unspayed cat piss smells worse than regular cat piss.
Truly poetic, almost Lovecraftian in its expression of existential dread.
*Cat-thulhu fhtagn! Cat-thulhu fhtagn!*
Except HP would love all the cat chaos 😂
Same vibes as the story 'Nyarlathotep'. Honestly, I wish I could blame Nyarlathotep. Instead the truth is far worse. 'Cats' is a man-made horror beyond our comprehension. It is the corruption of something fun and joyous into a cesspit of narcissism, an orgy of hubris. Nyarlathotep watched this film and heard its butchery of the music, and gave his job over to Tom Hooper. Rumour has it he works in a Starbucks now.
@@mollyencrypted2488On the contrary, Cats is so terrifying because it is, unfortunately, well within our comprehension.
I watched Cats with a few of my friends once. A few of them had decided to play a game, where every time they cringed, grimaced, winced, or did something else, they had to drink a sip of apple cider vinegar. Just a sip, they didn’t want to go too crazy. I arrived 15 minutes late, and every single one who had taken part had consumed at least half a cup of vinegar. They all looked defeated. They had all given up. They stopped drinking the vinegar, because after a certain point they realized there wasn’t even time to take a break and breathe.
plot twist: they waited until you got there to start the movie. just looking at the cover made them drink a half cup of apple cider vinegar.
The Cats movie fills you with special emotions. It's just that no human being wants to feel any of them.
Thought it'd be a review of every cat breed and really watched until the last 20 seconds still thinking, "So... when's the review starting?"
I thought he was just going to review the overall concept of the animal like he was describing a car.
Thought it was the movie, then Thought it was about cats themselves, learned it was about the movie again.
@Octo Ant so did I ngl and my confusion only got worse
The phrase "I don't know if I'm 5 minutes in or 5 hours" implies that he is writing this review _while_ watching Cats (2019)
Anything to escape, even for a moment.
@@mousermindhe could walk away, but he won’t.
@@Epic-so3eka car crash, an atrocity, an afront of this magnitude needs witnesses
Dude's literally getting Vietnam-level PTSD flashbacks from cats
From cats he was born, from cats he shall leave this world.
Yowling, prowling and _fucking screaming_
Round of applause for Jeaney Collects Voice acting skills 👏👏
This man has to be one of the best voice actor i ever heard, he made me feel like if i was listening to the person who wrote that
Seriously, the combination of this person's writing talent and Jeaney's voice acting talent is ✨magic✨
"Im 13 again. Im 25 again." ... "This is the worst thing Ive ever seen."
Thats some dark life man.
Also Im watching this at 3.11am with a raging flu. I think its time to go to bed
This is how villains are created. We better pray that he doesn’t create plans to exterminate all life on Earth.
I think he will try to end all cat and furry life.
At this point I think that would be w good thing.
@@1gient :-)
Great now I’m just thinking about Brian Tomasik, who has explicitly stated that ending all life in the universe is his goal
Can we take a minute to talk about Jeaney’s spot on acting?
go on, then. take your minute, whatever that means
I love how he implies he’s feeling nostalgic about this movie and then takes a full 180 to dunk on it
They imply they're suffering what they suffered when hearing cats cause chaos and fuck as a child, which anyone can learn is one of the worst fucking noises an animal can make; later how they suffered with people that had a thing for putting on animal suits and how they themselves had the disgrace to see it.
At no moment of this do they imply any inkling of nostalgia, just pure dread, disgust and suffering.
ptsd is just spicy nostalgia
@@acpthunder8466 GTFO STOPP NO 😂 😂 😂 I hate how much I found this hilarious fuck 😭😭😭
@Anna 'I just want to live a chill life' Sopoco the worst part is... their right
@ACP thunder and radiation is just spicy air
I thought this was gonna be about the movie at first lol
Edit: Spoke too soon. My eyes were murdered watching this movie
I like the fact that every event happened exactly 12 years after the previous one
That ending line got me. “This is the death of all things. Fuck it.” Beautiful, sad and hilarious
A reminder that for a lot of people, Cats was the last movie they saw in-theatres before quarantines began, only cementing itself as "the last movie" for a significant amount of people for about two whole years.
That or Sonic the Hedgehog.
This is why seals are the better pet
Navy seals to be precise
I'm gonna make one trip to where the seals are, and introduce them to my 399 dogs and cats. they are our new friends now.
The objectively superior pet
I figured you more for a llama guy.
I've been watching videos of seals all day, funnily enough. EGGPTH!
Jeaney really just put the emotion into those rowling, prowling and fucking lines huh
Man, this was a true tour de force. The writing, the music, the raw emotion in the line delivery.
Truly the performance ever.
My mans was traumatized so much and the Cats film put him over the edge.
Alright. I wanna do something different.
Y'all are praising his acting.
And I agree ! But I want to point out the splendid writing of the comment in itself ! The pacing, the rythmes, the leitmotif, the structure. Amazed.
Fun fact for movie buffs. Cats is actually the prequel to morbius. The creators never outright state it but you know its true because at the end when rum tum tum spreads his legs and says its tummin time you get goosebumps. Definitely one of the movies ever made. Right up there with morbius and its spinoff series, amazons lord of the rings.
Yeah, this got a laugh out of me. Truly one of the comments of all time
god damn, no prisoners
i'm gonna do one of the worst crimes a person can commit, and one of the most useless ones
i'm gonna dislike your comment
I'll be here hoping that an anthropomorphic cat named Rum Tum Tum spreading its legs and saying "It's tumming time" was a joke and it actually didn't happen in the movie. Like, there's no way, right?
@talesmartins698 It doesn’t sound right, but I’m too afraid to watch the movie and confirm or refute it. I do know that Rum Tum Tugger is a character, though; I’ve seen the stage show and read the poems this was based on.
My man got PTSD from a movie
How could you not from such a horrible creation of madness
Imagine finding that guy passed away, weeks afterwards. His dead body slowly having been consunbed by the malnourished and hoarded foster cats he surrounded himself with. Surrounded with to feel loved and warm and childlike, a spiritual return to when he was 13. The irony....
His decaying corpse once again surrounded by the yowling... The prowling... *T h e F u c k i n g*
Traumatic childhood experiences followed by "This is the CGI from Scorpion King" 🤣🤣🤣
"This is the death of all things. Fuck it".
Oh, they will. They will.
Warning: This Jeaney Collects episode is not free of Cats (2019) references.
As someone who had cats their entire life, knows the stage show by heart, and has been called a furry since 5th grade, I concur. Cats the musical, aka the 1998 film of cats, was something amazing and creative. 2019 cats, however, was abysmal. It ruined every song, every character, and is the closest thing to porn that is readily available to kids. By 1998, they removed a racist character because they knew better. 2019 cats brought the racist cat back. They made the two widely queer headcanoned characters as straight as they possible could when, in the show, one of them threw a rainbow around the stage as the other sang about how great the rainbow throwing cat was. I would rather be in solitary confinement than watch this movie for it's entire length without interruption. This is the only movie I would hope for there to be 50 ads in.
Update: Mid-Nite Drive-Thru in the comments is correct, I was talking about the distasteful portrayal of siamese cats and Growltiger's extreme hatred for them in the deleted song Growltiger's Last Stand
I'm sorry, but despite being a card-carrying theatre kid and an enjoyer of the Cats (2019) trainwreck, somehow I managed to miss the racist cat thing. Please elaborate on the racist cat. I am begging you.
please for the love of God. what the fuck is the racist cat thing. I have to know.
@@beek.4860 The people need to know who the racist cat is!
WHO RACIST CAT
@@polk-e-dot8177 - My guess would be that they are referring to the exaggerated Chinese accent of the Siamese cat narrating "Growltiger's Last Stand". The line "the chinks, they swarmed aboard" is the sort of thing which, innocuous as it was when written, is likely to be considered 'too spicy' for the...ahem..."modern audience".
Thanks to this movie now everyone can have a taste of his oddly specific trauma.
C'mon. It can't be THAT bad. I'm gonna watch it and later you'll see my conclusion on this film
@@Gambol_25 No Gambol don't do it!
@@zaishijunior9455 how bad can it be? I'm downloading it in order to watch it later
@@Gambol_25 what do you think of it now?
@@bompet I think we may have lost them. Hope their funeral was attended by many people.
when I watched this movie at the cinema I got up to leave when the credits started and immediately had to sit down again because I was physically light headed from how insane that movie is
This two minute has more acting performance than the most of the tv shows on my country.
Of which country is this?
All of them.
I mean I didn't even have to watch Cats and just from the trailer I arrived at pretty much the same conclusion.
I think this one may be your masterpiece, Jeaney.
Never once seeing this movie myself only makes all these reviews so much better.
This is relatable if you have 2 or more cats, I do.
I do too. Both castrated, and thankfully they haven't gone at it since years ago. She still has a terrible mood though.
Somehow I can't relate despite four around my house. The only problem is that they're fairly territorial to each other.
I thought about how what this guy experienced could only be done in todays modern society and then a voice in my head started reciting the unibomber manifesto. I can't do this anymore.
The unibomber is dead now.
One of my regrets about the pandemic was that, had I known I wasn't going to be able to see a movie in theatres for the next two years, I wouldn't have chosen Rise of Skywalker. I would have chosen Cats.
Having heard about Cats, I am, for some reason, genuinely glad I picked Rise of Skywalker.
I was one of the lucky ones... My last movie on the outside was Sonic the Hedgehog... I only cringed at one Fortnite dance for the whole film... A fleeting smile before turmoil...
Rise of Skywalker was far from perfect, but at least it wasn’t as mind-meltingly terrible as Cats.
I dont know why it took me so long (i mean, it was RIGHT THERE in the title) but...
I though it was a review about cats. Just cats. The animal.
Anyways, the suffering of this guy was portrayed wonderfully!
i feel like this guy is going to become our universe's Joker
seems cool
now imagine if this dude had an allergy
ohh shi-
It seems the allergy depends on if the cats are clean or not. My mother had allergy to cats, but she hasn't had a problem after taking in two of them.
The coughing, the sneezing, the puking.
This wasn't just a tweet thread; this was art.
Fuck. Now I have to animate it.
Send link when you do xdddd
Indeed, fascinating what horrors the human mind can bring into reality
The piano music really brings it all together
Are you okay, Stolas-
I still firmly stand by the belief that everything that has happened since Cats was released to theatres, is punishment for releasing it in the first place- the pandemic, war, Betty White's death, everything, is revenge from the universe
You're laughing. He's reliving his traumas and you're laughing...
Great voice acting... I p*ssed myself laughing and my three cats look at me funny.
Like "why in the holy litter-boxes name do he presume to disturb our peace?".
*When the film with a budget that could've funded a 4th of a space shuttle prompts this dialogue to happen*
Poor guy :(
This unironically makes me sad because with the voice acting and how vividly they described their experiences with cats they’re clearly scarred in some way and this movie triggered it. Or I might just be overthinking again
i mean im pretty sure it's just over-the-top melodramatic for comedic effect but to be fair this movie would trigger deep-seated trauma in anyone
I don't know why, but the way Jeaney said 'fucking' the first time had me captivated and made me want to hear him read a script as a grizzled, desensitized film noir detective.
I also find it very funny that that moment is the most replayed section.
that moment when the main demographic of a show that should have loved because of their "strange inclinations" shares everyone else's opinion that the creation of the show is god's sign that the end times are upon us.
Your voice acting, oh god
I can *feel* the despair that the review represents, i can literally hear the events in my head, i can feel the anger and the fucking, oh god, that's horrible, no one should suffer this fate
Jokes aside the story has some really tight writing. :o
Poor guy has PTSD.
This was a better performance that the movie tbh.
It should have ended with "7/10 would watch again"
Me: I want to write a scathing review about Cats
DM: You must first pass sanity check on disadvantage.
Me:4
Overall, movie gets a solid 7/10, would watch again.
Yeah really I don't see why there was so much hate for it myself. Though I don't think I'd watch it again, it was definitely a "see once" sort of thing.
Who are you, when this thing released you could physically feel the downfall of humanity. This creation of madness has been nothing but horrors for our world and you dare call it ‘watchable’. I have not a clue who you are or if your mentally stable but just know, you are wrong.
he had me in the first half... then i was suddenly in the second half and i regret it.
That final 'fuck it' makes me feel like the speaker has given into the hypnotic thrall.
Well shit, he ain't wrong.
As a furry, I feel slightly offended but I will let that slide because this is genuinely the most emotional and beautiful and so... Colorful review... It's as if an entire world has opened in my hand, on my fingertips, and I'm watching it, slowly diving down into a story, horrible and adorable, happy and absolutely terrifying all at the same time. It's like I'm out of my world right now, like I've transported, transcended to a place completely different yet so similar, better, but worse. I can't feel myself - all I can do is watch and listen. It's like watching a football match with your favourite team. And then, the story end abruptly, scaring me back into my feelings, my world, my reality. It's like I never was there in the first place, like it was a fever dream.
As another furry, I think it's funny af
As a 3rd furry, I think it's accurate
As a non furry who likes some furry characters, you guys are ok.
@@zaishijunior9455 Ayyy
Gonna hop on the "as a furry this is accurate" comment train
So poetic. Beautiful video
Wow, that was emotional, more than I would have hoped.. Very scary honestly
And people wonder why Ultron wanted to destroy humanity after 5 seconds on the internet.
I love this channel so much
This is not a review, it is a tragedy in three parts
I watched this while the best background music possible was playing for this on the tv.
This is the best video I’ve seen in a while ngl
Next review is coming when he's 49
I watched this film in theaters. I loved every moment of it.
You, you are just as bad as this film, this creation, this madness. You are a partial fraction of the problem with society. How can you like this film. Some say that all art deserves its own spotlight. Cats got its spotlight, in the bottom of hell, with you
when i first saw it i genuinely liked it and then everyone started hating on it and i didnt know what to do
My god...
Not only was that amazingly written, and a rollercoaster of that man's life...
But it was amazingly brought to life, all thanks to Jeaney! 👏👏👏
"... This is the worst catamine trip. ..."
ANYONE ELSE GONNA MENTION EACH TIME WAS EXACTLY 12 YEARS APART?!
the fact that this story sent me into fight or flight mode proves the intensity of this shocking tale
seems like he had a traum-cat-ic experience.
This is it, the Great American Novel.
I dont want to eat my cereal anymore.
this reads like a kurt vonnegut story
You're great at this lmao
I love that it ends with "fuck it"
This is some amazing voice acting
Really just expected 2 minutes of sobbing and screaming
This sounds so fun. In my 31 years I have never heard of seal point birmans
"This is the worst ketamine trip" Well it is Cats
Cats was pretty bad, but frankly if enough people had a bad experience in a paper mill you'd find someone who'd consider stationary to be the devil. I mean, fair, they do a lot of demon summoning in paper mills, but that's really beside the point.
something is did not want to read today for once jeany, thanks :)
Fate had led him to that point. It had led him through sights to see, sounds to hear. It had led him to the words he would tweet.
"Half in, half out anyway." - Constantine on cats. The catacombs, yowling, prowling...
It is the death of cinematic meaning and it makes me ill at ease.