Saving Face Culture in the Philippines - What is the Deal?

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  • Опубліковано 30 жов 2024

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  • @GiointhePhilippines
    @GiointhePhilippines  2 роки тому +3

    Saving Face Culture in the Philippines - What is the Deal?
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  • @jean-guynewbrunswick7483
    @jean-guynewbrunswick7483 Рік тому +1

    Hello there. I would like to know where these people learn how to save face, and why the heck do they try to save face instead of being humble and admit that they've screwed up. Any idea please?

    • @snickers525
      @snickers525 11 місяців тому

      I have no idea. I understand your comment completely, but the "saving face" behavior makes no sense what so ever. You can avoid a restaurant, but when a Filipina wife and her family do the "saving face" routine it can ruin your relationship...... all because they can not say " I made a mistake".

  • @drb166
    @drb166 2 роки тому +1

    Saving face is a real problem for the Philippines. Not admitting a person is wrong, I believe, holds them back. I'm finally getting along with some family after two years. I won't go into details, but my Filipina wife and I agree that I was in the right, concerning the original disagreement. And it was over something important that that ended up costing me over US$1000 and made us change long term plans. Ultimately, no big deal. I'd rather have the family, but it would never have happened in the west. In moments like these, you way have to just step away and let time pass. Or move. I strongly suggest that you do no build a house or live very close to family.
    Also, I remember, a few years ago, asking for directions to an appliance store in Butuan (it had moved a few years before, but Google wasn't updated). We walked back and forth on the same 1 km stretch of road with three people telling us where it was. Filipinos often do not like to say "I don't know". It's considered shameful. It's a lower level of "saving face", but it will still make your life difficult. Life goes on, and nobody died or was injured, so it's really not important, right?

  • @genejordan9983
    @genejordan9983 2 роки тому +3

    I was beginning to wonder where that place was. I hear what you are saying. It is far different than us westerners are use to. In part I agree but their passive behavior is why improvements don’t happen. Example I had was with the mayor in Mati. Their generator goes down often. I asked her why she doesn’t make the crews do a better job maintaining the system. Her response was that she didn’t want to cause trouble. So brown outs happen twice a week and nothing is getting improved. Sometimes a little aggression can be a good thing. What I noticed is like you said, even if you are polite and make suggestions, nothing gets done. They are about as docile as we are aggressive. Somewhere in the middle would be nice.
    Great view from the cafe. And I loved peoples park. Been there a couple times. Stay safe….

  • @StanHasselback
    @StanHasselback 2 роки тому +1

    Very good advice Gio. Don't tease or ridicule someone even playfully unless you know them very well. It can be taken wrong. Breaking someone's balls so to speak to playfully take them down a peg does not exist in Asia.

  • @randallzook5570
    @randallzook5570 2 роки тому +3

    One of the things that struck me as different on my first trip to the PI was the service in the restaurants. Employees on their cell phones in no hurry to wait on you and never asking if everything was okay during the meal. It does not matter there if the meal was to your satisfaction or not, they simply don't care. You just hope for the best and move on. I'm not being critical of the Filipino culture just making an observation on how different things are there. I wonder if the fact that 99% of Filipinos don't tip that that takes the incentive away from good service? I now live in the US wife my Filipino wife and she is always amazed at the service here and the fact that if you aren't satisfied with your meal normally you are not charged.

    • @randomnumbers84269
      @randomnumbers84269 2 роки тому +3

      I would get seriously bothered if someone kept asking if everything is okay when I'm trying to eat. Never been to America but there seems to be a lot unusual customs over there that you don't actually see so much in other places. The phone thing I find rude too, it seems it has became acceptable to be absorbed in your own world, even when supposedly working to serve customers some times, and I think this is a problem almost everywhere.

    • @Yohemchannel
      @Yohemchannel 2 роки тому

      What you are describing is more of a trait of America, which is great in it's own way. Here in Europe the personell is also not really interested if you like it or not. They will likely ask you if it tasted but that is more out of politeness

  • @ferdinandamodo9456
    @ferdinandamodo9456 2 роки тому

    Well said bro Aloha🤙🏽

  • @patrickyanello6015
    @patrickyanello6015 2 роки тому +5

    Saving face, not admitting ones mistakes. Unredeemable.

    • @binkysteaver9880
      @binkysteaver9880 2 роки тому +3

      Absolutely agree, a sign of weakness and a source of all kinds of nonsense in an effort to pretend something didn’t happen even though everyone knows it did. And being expected to play along with it gets really difficult after a while. It’s as if the problem isn’t the problem, the real problem is when someone points out the problem and wants a solution, inevitably nothing changes because it’s just easier to ignore.

    • @sosodave4192
      @sosodave4192 2 роки тому +2

      ultimately it's the very reason why countries like that never end up getting any better. they don't take responsibility for their mistakes or their misdeeds, and so no one in the whole world ever ends up trusting them, including each other.

  • @deltachris
    @deltachris 2 роки тому +1

    Another great video Gio. Its an asian thing aswell .... saving face.

  • @Samanthawestin
    @Samanthawestin 2 роки тому

    filipino city people who visits the province does not complain for any poor service, it is a given to them that service will not be impressive. as for the more affluent filipinos they dont go to places thats not up to thier standards thats why you dont see any yelling matches around. But it does happen it just depends where you are in the country.

  • @nomadinthemaking
    @nomadinthemaking 2 роки тому

    Yes saving face is huge. On Dumaguete Boulevard yesterday a chap in his 50’s I think came up to me asked where I was from and just said ‘get me a drink.’ All cause he seen I brought 2 children a drink. I refused wonder if I offended him!

  • @JJ38255
    @JJ38255 2 роки тому +2

    If it's something like a restaurant, everybody makes a mistake or is out of stock Now and then. But if it's actually just really bad service and really bad food every time, don't get mad and complain and make a scene. Just don't go back and go eat somewhere else. If you go by a restaurant with a lot of seating and it's at the dinner rush hour and there's only a couple people in the whole place, that might be a sign that it's not real great

  • @martypoll
    @martypoll 2 роки тому +1

    I made my share of mistakes during the first year causing my girlfriend, now wife, to lose face. I am fortunate that she only gave me the silent treatment for 4-5 hours and during that time she would come to realize that I was was both clueless and sorry. Still 5 years later I can still make this mistake. We stayed at a nice hotel recently. I ordered a Martini from the very young guy behind the bar. What eventually arrived was very definitely not a Martini. My wife could see my puzzled look. I said don’t worry about it . It is not important. She, however, wanted to fix it. She went to the bar and called me over. The source of the mistake was uncovered but I then went on to say, that I am not really interested in a cocktail any more (what I told my wife earlier). They couldn’t make a Martini (simple, I know, but don’t ask) and they asked if I wanted a beer instead. I should have said yes but I said no thank you. This caused the young bartender to lose face followed by my wife losing face. You are never here long enough to not make a losing face mistake.

  • @ryckroldan
    @ryckroldan 2 роки тому +3

    What I like about gio in the Philippines: it's a travel channel, dating, relationships, food, culture, lifestyle, discovery, history, charity,...honest and respectful, and no politics...all rolled into one...keep going gio!!!

  • @tomjones1786
    @tomjones1786 2 роки тому +1

    Most Americans do not get this one important message of respecting their way of life. They usually end up in jail in a foreign country.
    Remember, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.

  • @jackeisman8029
    @jackeisman8029 2 роки тому +1

    For the Pinay female or whom ever you are talking to be it for a date or a complaint in a store, this is their society and their way. You for yourself need to look at it as form of “enlightenment”. As a westerner we need to look at it with different mindset. As the saying goods “ get more with honey rather than vinegar”. Unless the guest in the country learns, or he will have a less than fulfilling experience to say the least.

  • @djcoon7890
    @djcoon7890 2 роки тому

    gio i fiind them very very to young i try over 35 but did marry a 28 yrs now 31 shes more mature killed me to wait of course she was a virgin and very catholic i still get texts and calles from girl ive met while with wife and family they try to take me by the arm to go with them ,no i am old fashioned i like 1 woman ..
    i like your channeland your site keep going bro j

  • @townekook2226
    @townekook2226 2 роки тому +2

    A good view from the Cliff hanger Cafe,. Was that a cold brew or iced brew coffee?..they are made differently and definitely have distinct tastes.

  • @sosodave4192
    @sosodave4192 2 роки тому

    based on what you say about how a girl will give you her number but then never interact with you, it seems that it would behoove every man in the Philippines to give out his number to every woman that he finds even the least bit attractive, since every single one of them will accept his number, or even give him their number, but 90% of them aren't actually serious about it, they are just saving face.
    so to avoid wasting days on end thinking that she's actually attracted to you and trying to set up some sort of a date, when it's never going to go anywhere, a guy is far better off in the Philippines simply using the shotgun approach all the time.

  • @tomjones1786
    @tomjones1786 2 роки тому

    It is so great the almost all speak English.

  • @711932able
    @711932able 2 роки тому +1

    Hi Gio can I ask Where you at in the Philippines? Because you are talking my dialect bisaya 🥰✌️

  • @saintluke2nd
    @saintluke2nd 2 роки тому

    Good to hear because I am accustomed to using a gradual approach on women.

  • @davidtesler1198
    @davidtesler1198 2 роки тому

    I never had to ask women out in Philippines they would ask for my number and text me and then she rolled

  • @AcmeRocket
    @AcmeRocket 2 роки тому

    Wow, the cliffhanger cafe looks happening!

  • @Falconlibrary
    @Falconlibrary 2 роки тому +1

    I'm trying to think of an example in my life when getting angry at poor service has improved the service. Can't think of one. Seems the Filipinos have this one figured out. Just go with the flow.
    I'm always nice to people who can poison my food.

  • @alane7896
    @alane7896 2 роки тому

    great vid

  • @GettinReal
    @GettinReal 2 роки тому

    Philippines are fffaaarrr more forgiving than harder Asia.
    In Taiwan at dinner celebrating my first appointment as a Teacher, my mistake first wife said I wasn't allowed to order a beer with my meal as I was a "Teacher now".
    After a week of dealing with kind of semi psychotic nuances in the culture and, being Australian, I decided that:
    "Yeah... Scratch that. I'll have three then."....
    Waitress instantly looked at then fiance for the go ahead, of course...
    Most 'bosses' are cheap in Asia and wonder why they are poor in Asia, and especially when they go to the West and have the same questionable practices, of course. So called traditions die hard. Standards don't seem to matter a lot as well...

  • @andregill2732
    @andregill2732 2 роки тому +1

    You mean Karens, lol there everywhere here in the states ...just be chill, and nice to ppl and you get more....honey taste better than vinegar 😋 🤪

  • @archimedespelago
    @archimedespelago 2 роки тому +2

    Seems your camera lens may have an issue that looks like you're in a tunnel. Also, I don't think you explained the "soft approach"?

  • @phatboied
    @phatboied 2 роки тому

    Good stuff Gio. Thanks

  • @robjulian2955
    @robjulian2955 2 роки тому

    Just go with the flow...

  • @andylondon9635
    @andylondon9635 2 роки тому

    Useful info Gio thanks

  • @carletto_au
    @carletto_au 2 роки тому +1

    Great info as usual 😀

  • @answerman9933
    @answerman9933 2 роки тому +1

    How does anything improve without accepting criticism?

    • @GiointhePhilippines
      @GiointhePhilippines  2 роки тому

      good question

    • @SANGKAYFOODCHANNEL
      @SANGKAYFOODCHANNEL 2 роки тому

      You can talk direct to the management for any complain. Direct confrontation may cause you in trouble.

    • @MajorKanoyStorm
      @MajorKanoyStorm 2 роки тому +1

      It doesn't improve. It is just a repetitive cycle that will drive a foreigner crazy if you let it. Patience and adaptability is a must here, to live long term. 😎

    • @snickers525
      @snickers525 11 місяців тому

      Nothing improves. That's why they are a third world country and always will be.

  • @DoctorSpock358
    @DoctorSpock358 2 роки тому +1

    Good information for future travels 😀

  • @konaranger599
    @konaranger599 2 роки тому

    I agree with everything you said.. I think you are right on target!!! What A great view wish I was there...

  • @juancarlosvaldes4538
    @juancarlosvaldes4538 2 роки тому +1

    Great view Gio and enjoy your dinner!

  • @gmanY159
    @gmanY159 2 роки тому +3

    I have seen a couple of Filipinos become openly upset in a restaurant and while I was waiting to get a COVID vaccination: a few Filipinos try jumping the line and one Filipino wasn't having it...😂🤣🤣.

  • @julynwong2365
    @julynwong2365 2 роки тому +2

    Hello Gio..nice to see your video. Have time to see, video it and enjoy beach view at davao coastal road.😊

  • @tomjones1786
    @tomjones1786 2 роки тому

    I have to remind myself that you can catch more flies with honey, instead of vinegar.

  • @spudsudz
    @spudsudz 2 роки тому +1

    Hello from St Louis, MO

  • @paulsutton1807
    @paulsutton1807 2 роки тому

    I noticed you had ice in your drink. But most Americans should avoid ice I am told. Have you been there long enough now where the local water and ice does not bother you anymore?

    • @SANGKAYFOODCHANNEL
      @SANGKAYFOODCHANNEL 2 роки тому +1

      Most establish use mineral water in making ice.

    • @GiointhePhilippines
      @GiointhePhilippines  2 роки тому +1

      At first I avoided but after several months I don't avoid it anymore. I have gotten used to it.

  • @kregner888
    @kregner888 2 роки тому

    You’re wrong on no Filipinos yell in public. You forget you are in a multiple class system. The ones who thinks and do have money will yell to your face in front of everyone.

  • @onehappyoldgoat7124
    @onehappyoldgoat7124 2 роки тому +3

    THUMBS UP EVERYONE!

  • @plantworks100
    @plantworks100 2 роки тому +4

    Hey Gio my dear friend, I love the view of the cliff hanger Cafe. It seems that the mosquitos really like you buddy 😊. But you are so right about using the soft approach. That's the way I went about it to be with my Filipina fiancée, which I will be seeing in 10 days. I'm so excited.✌️. And if you are in the west, you would definitely get shot down. God bless the Philippines. Thank you Gio my dear friend for sharing this awesome video. Please stay safe and healthy, and God bless you and your beautiful fiancée always.😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

  • @thaimaxcan
    @thaimaxcan 2 роки тому

    Hello Gio, nice view and interesting subject. How long driving from your condo to the cafe ?

  • @Vi-King
    @Vi-King 2 роки тому

    Can someone explain to me how WISE works? I mean how do you actually get your money in hand?

    • @martypoll
      @martypoll 2 роки тому

      I am trying to get it to work for me without much luck. I set up a Wise account. It looks like I have to wire transfer from my US bank account to my Wise account. This is a dollar to dollar domestic transfer. Then I can do a Wise transfer to my Thai bank account. This some kind of Wise transfer among their system of banks that gives a more favorite transfer rate. I made the first transfer to set up the account. Now I am having problems making a second transfer and I am waiting for them to answer my help email.

    • @Vi-King
      @Vi-King 2 роки тому

      @@martypoll Thanks for the response... I followed you up until the last sentence. So, sounds like you also need a bank account opened in the foreign country which your staying. Wish Gio would do a small vid on how this process works. I tried to ask WISE customer service myself, but have not heard anything from them.

  • @anjinsanx44
    @anjinsanx44 2 роки тому

    s pass traze app not needed ?
    got one world pass ,,,usa to manilla to davoa city on thursday

  • @Sunmoon-gj9gy
    @Sunmoon-gj9gy 2 роки тому

    Gio , have you ever visited Sagpulon Falls ? Can you do a Vlog there

  • @Highwayman7549
    @Highwayman7549 2 роки тому

    Bro what kind of watch do you have

  • @djcoon7890
    @djcoon7890 2 роки тому

    it can get you killed ,dont laugh at filipnos they go crazy mad .itsa filipino thing
    hehe mc donalds most usa mc ds stuff is unavailible
    its crazy chow king is my fav for fast food

  • @NovaDexter
    @NovaDexter 2 роки тому +1

    Do you have a link for a creditable online marriage company ?

  • @sosodave4192
    @sosodave4192 2 роки тому +1

    I finished watching the Filipina peas video about lying and saving face just before watching yours.
    I find exactly the same attitude all over Latin america, and I am wondering if the entire concept comes from the Spanish influence in both areas.
    regardless, the fact that you can't challenge someone when they are caught lying or stealing or any number of things certainly explains why the populations of these countries don't even trust their own people, and certainly don't ever manage to break out of third world status.
    you can't become a second world nation, and certainly not a first world nation, if the population is not willing to take responsibility for mistakes and misdeeds.
    and especially if they can't even be called out on it.
    you end up with an entire society that does not trust, because nobody knows for sure what the truth ever is.

  • @TheBigBananaaa
    @TheBigBananaaa 2 роки тому +2

    👍✅😲✅👍