*almost cries when Antonia shares about her sister* INFP probably being hormonal right now. But I want to say to any ESFJs reading this, please, please take care of yourselves. You are all gems when you're in healthy states. I am so, so thankful for my sister and former roommates who are ESFJs.
I´m esfj too, and this is so freaky to hear someone tell me exactly how I think! This is something that people always notice about me, and don't understand (for example; how much I care about having good harmony at a meeting or a party, and how I read people and make them feel at ease the way the need to be approached) People can see that I do theese things, and they seem fascinated by it... I just do and say what feels right, and I do feel theese things immediatly when I walk in to a room full of people, or a bus or anywhere else, and sometimes I can feel that the vibe is off, something bad is about to happen, and that is the worst feeling ever! Even if it does´nt include me, I can feel it and it makes me feel sick!!! I do come across as arrogant all the time, and it makes me feel so misunderstood, but I think that this video gave me a new way of looking at that problem, and maybe that can help me fix that! Also the thing about putting others needs over mine just to make them comfortable, that´s also something I really need to work on! Thanks!!!
I'm an ESFJ. I indeed love to know more about people, but ever since high school I've learned to steer clear and stay away when people need their space. I don't believe I am nosy. I could care less if my friend is dating this person or that person. I want to be friendly to everyone, create harmony and make sure everyone is happy. Surprisingly, I'm more ambiverted than I think I should be. I like being around people and feed off the happy environment; but I appreciate being alone from time to time. Just not too many lonely times LOL. I don't take criticism very well either. I get very hurt from it because now I feel like I've done something wrong and tend to overcompensate. I love helping and knowing people, but that results in insecurity. I think about other opinions of myself way too much, and way too seriously. I don't know why ESFJs get a lot of shit lol. Maybe I'm a lucky person who was raised right to not encounter those social disasters; at least not yet XD
completely agree with your comment Kyle, I am exactly like you. SO grateful for people like us who genuinely care for others, seek harmony and just want everyone to get along. I've noticed some other personality types like to stereotype us but if you know a REAL ESFJ, we truly just want happiness and people around us to be well. As much as we love socialising and our comfortable with people we also love our alone time from to time. :)
I'm an intp and my wife is an esfj, at times it's very difficult because I'm not emotional enough and she cares a lot of status, but ultimately we love each other and balance each other out. I call her out on gossip and things and remind her to care less about status, and she makes me get out there out of my comfort zone and helps me be more of a people person, I can't imagine a better way to live
Interesting, I'm INTP and was just thinking about whether to look for an intellectually stimulating wife like me or a more grounded wife to counter balance and get me out of my head
I'm an INTP who was married to an ESFJ... Notice the past tense. I'm not saying that it can't work, but for me, personally, it got utterly exhausting in the end to be with someone so mentally and emotionally draining. I've found myself an INFJ now... Night and day comes to mind.
I think one of my sisters is an ESFJ. I feel bad for her, looking back, that she grew up in a house full of introverts and Ti insistence. She always seemed like the odd one out in some ways, and I don't feel like she has been appreciated or valued much for being herself. It's rough having your heart on your sleeve as a default, because it can easily be abused. I really appreciate the positivity of these videos in expressing value for the fundamental elements of people, and support for them being their natural selves.
+Jenna DeNardo awww babe, bless her heart! I actually am heart broken reading please she needs love and appreciation now! as an EFSJ, I know that she needs security she needs some words of encouragement to let her know she is loved for who she and that she needs to remember that you all love her! She will be her true self, and whether you are expecting it or not, you will get an abundant flow of happiness and help from her! Bless her :3 :(
Hi, 3 years later! Did you ever tell your sister these things? Oh, I hope you did. As an ESFJ, I know that reading a comment just like this from a sibling would put me over the moon. I'm teary-eyed just imagining it. ;) Hope you and your family are well!
As an ESFJ I am amazed how accurate the depiction of me is it’s stunning and I have been the exact same way since I was a child. I see people in stores on the street and love making conversations I talk observe and will sit and just listen I hate being alone and feel a need to have order I’m type a - can appear controlling because of my nature nurture tendencies- I love structure and can’t function without notes and a plan - so structure order and being on time is a must. I listen have a sharp memory and rarely forget anything important or exactly how I met someone I’ll lend an objective ear but I’m uncomfortable with any displays of violence or anger it really makes me uncomfortable where I walk away or tell you later in private how that made me feel or I might just move on from it without any confrontation about it. I tend to sit back observe I’ll say something or not then I move on but even now I’m the same just watch my videos I’m the same just older more objective - I’m a mom now and adore my daughter - but now without my parents I struggle being by myself I like taking care of people feeling needed etc - I have my dog an available ear to all still in my life and I’m talking on UA-cam I’m making memories just different ones. 🙋🏽♀️
My mom is an ESFJ! (I'm an ENTP). Some of my favorite coworkers are ESFJs and it's because of the warmth they bring to whatever job they are doing. The work can be physically demanding, yet they do their best to keep group morale high which makes a huge difference, especially if the work in question is with the Post Office (can you say postal? lol).
My wife is an ESFJ, and this is very spot on. I am truly blessed to have this amazing (understatement) woman in my life. But get on her bad side, watch out.
I'm ESFJ. The want thing I can say about myself I do things out of charity. My reward is a simple thank you and that's all I need. I do know how to read people out and I used that in my advantage to compliant or offended people. I'm very honest which sometimes can offend and compliant.
I'm also an ESFJ and very honest, but more so about my feelings, which scares the hell out of people, especially the thinkers. And yes, appreciation is very important, and, like you said, it can be simple.
My husband is this and he is a giant lie detector and when it comes to things he does around the house he wants me to notice and say a thank you I’m an istj and in my head it’s things that need done no thanks needed. I have to learn to slow down and thank him.
I'm an ESFJ, and we're really easy: show appreciation for all we do for you (as simple as a "thank you"), don't take advantage of us or take us for granted, and don't be brutal when you criticize. Btw, I couldn't give a fat rat's ass about social status.
As an ESFJ, working as a Special Needs Teacher is vital for bringing this harmony to the students. We can feel these invisible vibes and can tell when a person or people are feeling comfortable or offended. I absolutely get along with most people, and people are just naturally drawn to me. Some even tell me their problems, or completely open up. Great video! 👏👏👏
HostESS, mmm,yes i totally agree. i love esfjs alot, because of thier responsible, caring nature; i feel that esfjs can often resonate with being seen as the perfect mom. and thats actually what i love most about them,
Im INTP and totally opposite from ESFJ personality yet my friend is an ESFJ. But sadly, as an INTP, i have only 2 close friends in my 16 years of life...
INFJ here... Mom to an only son INTP and he has about 2 or maybe 3 because he adopted one of his best friends friend... 😍 Enjoy them and make them a priority! Who knows maybe one of their friends will also click with you...
For Analysts types the most important question is why and parents should actually listen to the feedback their children give, because most of the time they meant it to improve the parent's skills and happiness
I've watched several videos of the various personality types in this series, and I would speculate that at least 60% of the video speaks negatively about the ESFJ personality type, which I find to be quite biased.
i am one of them ho had a very calm past 3:44. Like 1 1/2 yr later; one thing Antonia :), when you speak i think you are turning your head back and forth a little too much between looking in to the camera and Joel (it's stressing :), for me i think it's better to look in to the camera "75"% and the rest on Joel, but i haven't watched any other videos yet (so maybe it was only in this video). You are really good at explaining Antoina, and you have a very friendly/varm/caring personality that i like much! :), i wish i hade these qualities :).
I'm ENFJ and find ESFJ to be different that what youre describing. ESFJ have a strong desire to control the experience of others around them and keep a mental log of all the times they help you and feel upset when its not reciprocated. This is why they are unliked. They are also very careful to control how others perceive them.
Not true I will help who I can and never expect anything in return. Have always been that way. I know lots of people who do though and they are all personality types
my mother is an esfj as an infp i struggled with her trying to turn me into her ! even though shes very nice i just basically assume all nice people are esfj lol .
Yayyyy!!! This is wicked! I'm an ESFJ and super interested in MBTI. So, so true about the social politics part. I put it down to the combination of Fe and Si with some of that SJ temperament. Would you agree? Aha i am relating to this so much! You guys offer a really great objective insight. Thank you so much!
Wicked? I'm guessing you mean that in the Boston meaning of the word not the Salem Witch meaning of the word :-p AND thank you for sharing and the kind words. It's fuel for us to keep going when we get positive affirmation. Deeply appreciated.
I am an ESFJ, but I am introverted/shy which is confusing to me on how I’m an ESFJ. I do notice if I know one person in the group I am able to connect and talk to others but alone I’m closed off.
I'm an intp who is having some hardships with an esfj... she is venting too much about caring for all her friends... all her reasonings is not logical... >.
I am ESFJ from Malaysia. For people who say ESFJ abuse a lot of people, you might be wrong. Im an ESFJ and I am being abused by a lot of people in my life, especially my parents. All the traits in each personality might be true but the environment you're been raised and lived influence the way you act and treat people. But, thats not necessarily mean when you're being abused, you must abuse other people. ESFJ are the game changer.
Think of it less as remembering details (as in, a memory game) and more as referencing who you are based on past experiences, knowing how to establish a good routine and a sense of groundedness based on knowledge of yourself and where you came from. The opposite would be jumping to conclusions too quickly and trying to improvise your way through life. ESFJs do best when they let themselves be thoughtful and ruminate. One of the easiest ways to 'hack' this is to start a journal, whether by writing, typing or videography. Reference your journal every so often and watch how you transform over time to help determine the things that are important to you. -A-
ESFJ: The Provider. The implementer of ideas. Most common of the types - and a good thing too - nothing would happen or get done without them. Want to see a project really come to life? Write ESFJ a check and it will get done with gusto!
I know that this is more complex but what is the best match for an ESFJ? I have come to some sort of conclusion with the INFP and the ENFJ but the negatives are just outlawing the positives? any guidance? thanks :D
LOL It's so weird that I keep testing ESFJ/ENFJ. I'm creative but analytical, responsible and moral to a fault, self aware of other people's feelings but strongly respect the bottom line. I'm also not impulsive and am good with money. I think a lot of that also has to do with how my past experiences with other irresponsible people shaped the way I make calculated decisions.
This is great. Not as interesting as DJ arendee was, but interesting anyway. The thing about ESFJ's figuring out all the social politics is spot on. As an INFP, I find my interactions with ESFJ females is really awkward and confusing, because they always tend to misinterpret what I'm doing as hitting on them. ESFJ males and post menopausal ESFJ females are fun to joke around with though.
***** Aha i have commented all over this video and this comment is two months old but yolo. I just wanted to agree with you. As a female ESFJ i had major troubles with my INFP mates. I think emotions can often be difficult as its dominant Fe vs dominant Fi.
MBTILover I don't single out Fe vs Fi as much as I do Ne and Si, which both have in a different order, but that is my blunt Fi opinion anyway. The Ne communication between the two is sort of like playing hot potato. Which is usually hilarious when no one's feeling are at stake. Keep being an ESFJ, your pretty cool :)
Ok so ne 3rd function should be limited for esfj. Then, as an enfp if I bring alot of ne to the table in my interactions with an esfj, I'd be bringing out their childish immature side?
I'm an INFP and the person I have the most harmonious healthy relationship with is an ESFJ.. I don't get what the problem is in the comments..maybe be more helpful with an ESFJ and help them have more nuanced understandings of their experiences and emotions.
Im an esfp and i know an esfj that always takes care of me emotionally but i feel like they are putting way too much Fe out there for me so much so that i feel steamrolled with Fe. Ultimately im so annoyed that i try to avoid the esfj
depending on which Mayerbriggs test i do i get different types of personalities, which one is the best/the accurate?, i get 4 different types when I've done different tests.
That was a nice a video. I didn't expect too get that praise because the than is common, but feels good because i thought mine was unappreciated, yehh :D. It feels like you guys know me more than i do myself xD. Some ESFJ is nice because they dont want another person experience what they have went trough.
@@Adnan-lt5rn I think ESFJ and ESTJ can be bully-ish when they're young because they know EXACTLY how to hurt/isolate people emotionally on an instinctual level.
@@futureshocked I think there's a lot of truth to your assessment about those two SJ types especially when they're younger but I don't think most of them they outgrow it. In my own life I've noticed ESTJs love to put you on the spot for how different you are from the norm. They're nit picky and refuse to see things from your perspective. They're very basic and mainstream in their thinking. I find them boring and no longer justify myself to them (or anyone else for that matter).
I only see one mic but stereo sound. Did you have mics we couldn't see or did you split the audio yourself? And did you get an email from Nathaniel Lloyd? That's me.
I think my mate is an ESFJ. He’s narcissistic and extreme adhd so it’s hard to see it. His memory for current stuff is not great but will go on and on about childhood stuff. I’m an INFJ (c-ptsd and codependent) and I have trouble seeing his Fe. My Se is a disaster. It’s not easy. Praise God for Ni, with my disassociation, is a welcome reprieve.
You mentioned: "Appropriate & whats not appropriate. What's going to offend people & what's not going to offend people..." That's good stuff. It made me think.. So, I know someone who I'm pretty sure is an ESFJ. He can get an occasional feisty "wild hair" & can intentionally do the exact opposite of what he knows is "appropriate," just for laughs. A perfect example is if someone has their hands super full & *obviously* needs help.. Then, we/they ask for help, & he'll say: "Absolutely not." Or, "no." It's a sense of humor he only "shares" with loved ones.. And, when we get offended because it's so inappropriate, he gets all hurt because we don't "get it.." It's as though he thinks that because we don't get "it.." We don't get *him* . Like.. Huh? Is that a real thing (you've seen) for ESFJ's? Or, do you think I'm mistyping this person? Thanks! 😎
ESFJs use Extraverted Intuition (what we call Exploration) as their tertiary function (or what we call the 10 Year Old function). This gives them a fun, playful sometimes wild side element if they let themselves use it and aren't too locked into their auxiliary Introverted Sensing (what we call Memory Copilot). He also may be pulling on his inferior Introverted Thinking (or, Accuracy 3 Year Old), but not have good calibration around when he's gone too far. As a man, he will have been more encouraged to use his thinking function than, say, an ESFJ woman would be. Or, yes, he could be a different type. When it comes to typology, behaviors can be explained by many systems running. -A-
Personality Hacker LOL.. Yeah, he's actually said: "I could do *that* (the "proper") thing... But, what's the fun in that?" I could see that being a 3 yr old Ti thing.. Deep thought & choice crossroads used in a childish & opportunist Ne manner. He thinks he's an ISFP.. I'm wondering if he's an ENFP or something.. In fact... If he wasn't so "nosy" (lol)... Er, I mean, "concerned" & into birthdays I'd be set on ENFP haha.. Thanks for responding ✌😎
first it said I was an istj then said I was intj than the most believable istp but I ultimately conclude I was an intp. Now Im trying to figure out what my crush is between estp enfj or esfj................................................im a stalker..............................im very desprate....................................help me.................................I dont like this feeling. I think not feel at least thats would it said on the test.
MB system new to me. I think ESFJ equates to choleric extrovert dominant and melancholy introvert secondary. In a fight they will make mince meat out of you as they go for the jugular vein. Mike Tyson, General George Patton, J. Jonah Jameson from Spiderman.????
I always imagined ESFP'S as cheerleaders (hence the Performer)....not so much ESFJ'S. Example: Ty Lee from Avatar the Last Airbender! Katara is an ESFJ
They're not "underrated", it's that VERY few of them EVER develop that grace enough to say "live and let live". My father was (best deduction) an ESFJ and whoooooooa all we did was butt heads. I literally couldn't be int he room with him for five minutes later on in his life. They'll let their house burn down around them while they're watching the neighbor through binoculars! When they're good, they're very very good, but when they're bad, they're horrid. And most of them are horrid! (INTJ)
artisanrox my mom is an esfj too i honestly use to hate her because she wanted to change me she kept telling me how wrong i am to basically be my infp self but after i understood her now i love her i can understand the dos & donts with her but most esfj are really great people but im sorry your father had to be that way that type is most difficult to help because they see that way of behavior as some what justified and acceptable sorta like a dirty cop but its most important to remember that their not all bad and not all of them are the same and each person is unique
"that type is most difficult to help because they see that way of behavior as some what justified and acceptable sorta like a dirty cop" exactly, that's DEFINITELY why they *can* be the worst.
I'm an ESFJ, and I'm not horrid. Not nosy at all (nosy people make me nuts, especially at work!), not needy, couldn't give a damn about social status, and I'm pretty much a hippie "live and let live" type. I guess I'm an outlier? I do despite people who take advantage of me or take me for granted. Those are my hot buttons.
Perhaps it was just your experience? I've had relationships with 2 esfjs. First was kind of cold and definitely controlling (was also borderline Estj) in the sense he liked things his way, gave off the vibe he was always right. I think this had alot to do with the fact he had many bad experiences in life and had trust issues. But now I'm in a relationship with another ESFJ and it's the healthiest and happiest one I've had yet.
Learn More About ESFJs: personalityhacker.com/results-esfj
Read About ESFJ Personality In Our Book: amzn.to/2NscRrG
*almost cries when Antonia shares about her sister*
INFP probably being hormonal right now.
But I want to say to any ESFJs reading this, please, please take care of yourselves. You are all gems when you're in healthy states. I am so, so thankful for my sister and former roommates who are ESFJs.
I´m esfj too, and this is so freaky to hear someone tell me exactly how I think! This is something that people always notice about me, and don't understand (for example; how much I care about having good harmony at a meeting or a party, and how I read people and make them feel at ease the way the need to be approached) People can see that I do theese things, and they seem fascinated by it... I just do and say what feels right, and I do feel theese things immediatly when I walk in to a room full of people, or a bus or anywhere else, and sometimes I can feel that the vibe is off, something bad is about to happen, and that is the worst feeling ever! Even if it does´nt include me, I can feel it and it makes me feel sick!!!
I do come across as arrogant all the time, and it makes me feel so misunderstood, but I think that this video gave me a new way of looking at that problem, and maybe that can help me fix that!
Also the thing about putting others needs over mine just to make them comfortable, that´s also something I really need to work on! Thanks!!!
We need to smash
-infp
As an ESFJ too Elisabeth, I can completely relate to your comment
I'm an ESFJ. I indeed love to know more about people, but ever since high school I've learned to steer clear and stay away when people need their space. I don't believe I am nosy. I could care less if my friend is dating this person or that person. I want to be friendly to everyone, create harmony and make sure everyone is happy. Surprisingly, I'm more ambiverted than I think I should be. I like being around people and feed off the happy environment; but I appreciate being alone from time to time. Just not too many lonely times LOL. I don't take criticism very well either. I get very hurt from it because now I feel like I've done something wrong and tend to overcompensate. I love helping and knowing people, but that results in insecurity. I think about other opinions of myself way too much, and way too seriously. I don't know why ESFJs get a lot of shit lol. Maybe I'm a lucky person who was raised right to not encounter those social disasters; at least not yet XD
completely agree with your comment Kyle, I am exactly like you. SO grateful for people like us who genuinely care for others, seek harmony and just want everyone to get along. I've noticed some other personality types like to stereotype us but if you know a REAL ESFJ, we truly just want happiness and people around us to be well. As much as we love socialising and our comfortable with people we also love our alone time from to time. :)
I'm an intp and my wife is an esfj, at times it's very difficult because I'm not emotional enough and she cares a lot of status, but ultimately we love each other and balance each other out. I call her out on gossip and things and remind her to care less about status, and she makes me get out there out of my comfort zone and helps me be more of a people person, I can't imagine a better way to live
I'm also intp, I don't know if I'll really want a relationship any time soon but you two sound amazing
Interesting, I'm INTP and was just thinking about whether to look for an intellectually stimulating wife like me or a more grounded wife to counter balance and get me out of my head
I'm an INTP who was married to an ESFJ... Notice the past tense. I'm not saying that it can't work, but for me, personally, it got utterly exhausting in the end to be with someone so mentally and emotionally draining. I've found myself an INFJ now... Night and day comes to mind.
Jesus that sounds like pure hell. I'd rather be dead than be with an ESFJ.
I think one of my sisters is an ESFJ. I feel bad for her, looking back, that she grew up in a house full of introverts and Ti insistence. She always seemed like the odd one out in some ways, and I don't feel like she has been appreciated or valued much for being herself. It's rough having your heart on your sleeve as a default, because it can easily be abused.
I really appreciate the positivity of these videos in expressing value for the fundamental elements of people, and support for them being their natural selves.
+Jenna DeNardo awww babe, bless her heart! I actually am heart broken reading please she needs love and appreciation now! as an EFSJ, I know that she needs security she needs some words of encouragement to let her know she is loved for who she and that she needs to remember that you all love her! She will be her true self, and whether you are expecting it or not, you will get an abundant flow of happiness and help from her! Bless her :3 :(
Hi, 3 years later! Did you ever tell your sister these things? Oh, I hope you did. As an ESFJ, I know that reading a comment just like this from a sibling would put me over the moon. I'm teary-eyed just imagining it. ;) Hope you and your family are well!
Good lawd I’m the same!! I h8 my family cuz they so freakin cold AF and every man for himself.
Bless ur sis 🥲🥲
As an ESFJ I am amazed how accurate the depiction of me is it’s stunning and I have been the exact same way since I was a child.
I see people in stores on the street and love making conversations I talk observe and will sit and just listen I hate being alone and feel a need to have order I’m type a - can appear controlling because of my nature nurture tendencies- I love structure and can’t function without notes and a plan - so structure order and being on time is a must.
I listen have a sharp memory and rarely forget anything important or exactly how I met someone I’ll lend an objective ear but I’m uncomfortable with any displays of violence or anger it really makes me uncomfortable where I walk away or tell you later in private how that made me feel or I might just move on from it without any confrontation about it.
I tend to sit back observe I’ll say something or not then I move on but even now I’m the same just watch my videos I’m the same just older more objective - I’m a mom now and adore my daughter - but now without my parents I struggle being by myself I like taking care of people feeling needed etc - I have my dog an available ear to all still in my life and I’m talking on UA-cam I’m making memories just different ones. 🙋🏽♀️
My mom is an ESFJ! (I'm an ENTP). Some of my favorite coworkers are ESFJs and it's because of the warmth they bring to whatever job they are doing. The work can be physically demanding, yet they do their best to keep group morale high which makes a huge difference, especially if the work in question is with the Post Office (can you say postal? lol).
My wife is an ESFJ, and this is very spot on. I am truly blessed to have this amazing (understatement) woman in my life. But get on her bad side, watch out.
I'm ESFJ. The want thing I can say about myself I do things out of charity. My reward is a simple thank you and that's all I need. I do know how to read people out and I used that in my advantage to compliant or offended people. I'm very honest which sometimes can offend and compliant.
Thanks for sharing and the feedback.
I'm also an ESFJ and very honest, but more so about my feelings, which scares the hell out of people, especially the thinkers. And yes, appreciation is very important, and, like you said, it can be simple.
My husband is this and he is a giant lie detector and when it comes to things he does around the house he wants me to notice and say a thank you I’m an istj and in my head it’s things that need done no thanks needed. I have to learn to slow down and thank him.
I'm an ESFJ, and we're really easy: show appreciation for all we do for you (as simple as a "thank you"), don't take advantage of us or take us for granted, and don't be brutal when you criticize. Btw, I couldn't give a fat rat's ass about social status.
My ESFJ partner is just like you 🙂
As an ESFJ, working as a Special Needs Teacher is vital for bringing this harmony to the students. We can feel these invisible vibes and can tell when a person or people are feeling comfortable or offended.
I absolutely get along with most people, and people are just naturally drawn to me. Some even tell me their problems, or completely open up. Great video! 👏👏👏
HostESS, mmm,yes i totally agree. i love esfjs alot, because of thier responsible, caring nature; i feel that esfjs can often resonate with being seen as the perfect mom. and thats actually what i love most about them,
Thanks for sharing.
Oh my goodness. You guys are the best! Love your videos... gonna share it with many people! - isfp
Thanks Megan Gibbons. We really appreciate the kind words and support :-)
Yes ESFJ's we are concerned about YOU!
(ENT) "Everybody is doing the best they can with what they've been given" heard this from an ISTJ at work today. Glad to hear you guys say it too!
One of my really good friends, Alanna is a ESFJ and she is wonderful and always taking care of people.
Im INTP and totally opposite from ESFJ personality yet my friend is an ESFJ. But sadly, as an INTP, i have only 2 close friends in my 16 years of life...
Thanks for the comment. The good news is you still have A LOT of life ahead of you to make more friends. Some of my best friends were made in my 20s.
It could be fun having friends that are completely different, atleast to me i found them to be. xD
INFJ here... Mom to an only son INTP and he has about 2 or maybe 3 because he adopted one of his best friends friend... 😍 Enjoy them and make them a priority! Who knows maybe one of their friends will also click with you...
For Analysts types the most important question is why and parents should actually listen to the feedback their children give, because most of the time they meant it to improve the parent's skills and happiness
I love this video. ! Very well said. ! Gonna start helping out others more often so I can grow as a person !
This was the best description of me. Thank you
I've watched several videos of the various personality types in this series, and I would speculate that at least 60% of the video speaks negatively about the ESFJ personality type, which I find to be quite biased.
They're both Ne doms. Ne doms tend to view Ne tertiary as childish.
i am one of them ho had a very calm past 3:44.
Like 1 1/2 yr later; one thing Antonia :), when you speak i think you are turning your head back and forth a little too much between looking in to the camera and Joel (it's stressing :), for me i think it's better to look in to the camera "75"% and the rest on Joel, but i haven't watched any other videos yet (so maybe it was only in this video). You are really good at explaining Antoina, and you have a very friendly/varm/caring personality that i like much! :), i wish i hade these qualities :).
I'm ENFJ and find ESFJ to be different that what youre describing. ESFJ have a strong desire to control the experience of others around them and keep a mental log of all the times they help you and feel upset when its not reciprocated. This is why they are unliked. They are also very careful to control how others perceive them.
Not true
I will help who I can and never expect anything in return. Have always been that way. I know lots of people who do though and they are all personality types
This can be true in an unhealthy ESFJ who creates "covert contracts". Healthy ESFJs are very giving and don't expect anything in return.
my mother is an esfj as an infp i struggled with her trying to turn me into her ! even though shes very nice i just basically assume all nice people are esfj lol .
Yayyyy!!! This is wicked!
I'm an ESFJ and super interested in MBTI. So, so true about the social politics part. I put it down to the combination of Fe and Si with some of that SJ temperament. Would you agree? Aha i am relating to this so much! You guys offer a really great objective insight. Thank you so much!
Wicked? I'm guessing you mean that in the Boston meaning of the word not the Salem Witch meaning of the word :-p
AND thank you for sharing and the kind words. It's fuel for us to keep going when we get positive affirmation. Deeply appreciated.
this was very assuring and helpful for an ESFJ type like me! thanks guys!
I am an ESFJ, but I am introverted/shy which is confusing to me on how I’m an ESFJ. I do notice if I know one person in the group I am able to connect and talk to others but alone I’m closed off.
I'm an intp who is having some hardships with an esfj... she is venting too much about caring for all her friends... all her reasonings is not logical... >.
Real ESFJs Do Not do that. What we do for people is between us, them and God. Your friend sounds narcissistic.
I am ESFJ from Malaysia. For people who say ESFJ abuse a lot of people, you might be wrong. Im an ESFJ and I am being abused by a lot of people in my life, especially my parents. All the traits in each personality might be true but the environment you're been raised and lived influence the way you act and treat people. But, thats not necessarily mean when you're being abused, you must abuse other people. ESFJ are the game changer.
Can i ask what is it about the hair? And how to get an esfj healthy when they are trapped in the negativity cycle everyone is at fault?
As an ESFJ with memory loss problems, my heart sunk when they started talking about relying on memory...
Think of it less as remembering details (as in, a memory game) and more as referencing who you are based on past experiences, knowing how to establish a good routine and a sense of groundedness based on knowledge of yourself and where you came from.
The opposite would be jumping to conclusions too quickly and trying to improvise your way through life. ESFJs do best when they let themselves be thoughtful and ruminate. One of the easiest ways to 'hack' this is to start a journal, whether by writing, typing or videography. Reference your journal every so often and watch how you transform over time to help determine the things that are important to you.
-A-
PH Antonia Dodge thank you :) :)
ESFJ: The Provider. The implementer of ideas. Most common of the types - and a good thing too - nothing would happen or get done without them. Want to see a project really come to life? Write ESFJ a check and it will get done with gusto!
I know that this is more complex but what is the best match for an ESFJ? I have come to some sort of conclusion with the INFP and the ENFJ but the negatives are just outlawing the positives? any guidance? thanks :D
FInally I know that at my core I am an ESFJ and my son is an INTP - that memory space is self acualization
ESFJ, the care taker
Yeah people think I’m very judgmental somtimes I think I need wine
LOL It's so weird that I keep testing ESFJ/ENFJ. I'm creative but analytical, responsible and moral to a fault, self aware of other people's feelings but strongly respect the bottom line. I'm also not impulsive and am good with money. I think a lot of that also has to do with how my past experiences with other irresponsible people shaped the way I make calculated decisions.
This is great. Not as interesting as DJ arendee was, but interesting anyway.
The thing about ESFJ's figuring out all the social politics is spot on. As an INFP, I find my interactions with ESFJ females is really awkward and confusing, because they always tend to misinterpret what I'm doing as hitting on them. ESFJ males and post menopausal ESFJ females are fun to joke around with though.
***** Aha i have commented all over this video and this comment is two months old but yolo. I just wanted to agree with you. As a female ESFJ i had major troubles with my INFP mates. I think emotions can often be difficult as its dominant Fe vs dominant Fi.
MBTILover I don't single out Fe vs Fi as much as I do Ne and Si, which both have in a different order, but that is my blunt Fi opinion anyway.
The Ne communication between the two is sort of like playing hot potato. Which is usually hilarious when no one's feeling are at stake.
Keep being an ESFJ, your pretty cool :)
What great discussions happening under these videos. Thanks guys for adding value.
Omg so true, I now understand why I behave the way I do sometimes.
Great presentation very insightful delivered in a positive way and easy to interpret.
Side note, Antonia has such a wonderful voice.
Agreed
I am an ESFJ type. I like socializing with others, I thank God for what i am. 😀😀👍💃💃
Ok so ne 3rd function should be limited for esfj. Then, as an enfp if I bring alot of ne to the table in my interactions with an esfj, I'd be bringing out their childish immature side?
I'm an INFP and the person I have the most harmonious healthy relationship with is an ESFJ.. I don't get what the problem is in the comments..maybe be more helpful with an ESFJ and help them have more nuanced understandings of their experiences and emotions.
Same for me I’m an infp married to an esfj and we get along so well !
I'm an INFP and my boyfriend is ESFJ. I can honestly say it's by far the best relationship I've been in.
In agreement. I'm engaged to an esfj most healthy relationship I've had - Infp
Im an esfp and i know an esfj that always takes care of me emotionally but i feel like they are putting way too much Fe out there for me so much so that i feel steamrolled with Fe. Ultimately im so annoyed that i try to avoid the esfj
depending on which Mayerbriggs test i do i get different types of personalities, which one is the best/the accurate?, i get 4 different types when I've done different tests.
Rare Person theres no best , theres no right or wrong answer, you are who ever you choose to be .
That was a nice a video. I didn't expect too get that praise because the than is common, but feels good because i thought mine was unappreciated, yehh :D. It feels like you guys know me more than i do myself xD. Some ESFJ is nice because they dont want another person experience what they have went trough.
I feel like u described infj when u were saying they walk into a room and notice so many things.
I wonder why esfj and isfj get so much hate on internet...
Every type says they've been "abused" in some way by ESFJs. I say they just hate us cause they ain't us
They think we're dumb because we have Ti inferior/3 year old. Matured, healthy ESFJs could have integrated their INTP subconscious though....
@@Adnan-lt5rn I think ESFJ and ESTJ can be bully-ish when they're young because they know EXACTLY how to hurt/isolate people emotionally on an instinctual level.
Arrogance, and a lack of understanding and respect when it comes to the social importance of these personality types.
@@futureshocked I think there's a lot of truth to your assessment about those two SJ types especially when they're younger but I don't think most of them they outgrow it. In my own life I've noticed ESTJs love to put you on the spot for how different you are from the norm. They're nit picky and refuse to see things from your perspective. They're very basic and mainstream in their thinking. I find them boring and no longer justify myself to them (or anyone else for that matter).
I only see one mic but stereo sound. Did you have mics we couldn't see or did you split the audio yourself? And did you get an email from Nathaniel Lloyd? That's me.
I think my mate is an ESFJ. He’s narcissistic and extreme adhd so it’s hard to see it. His memory for current stuff is not great but will go on and on about childhood stuff. I’m an INFJ (c-ptsd and codependent) and I have trouble seeing his Fe. My Se is a disaster. It’s not easy. Praise God for Ni, with my disassociation, is a welcome reprieve.
You mentioned:
"Appropriate & whats not appropriate. What's going to offend people & what's not going to offend people..."
That's good stuff.
It made me think..
So, I know someone who I'm pretty sure is an ESFJ. He can get an occasional feisty "wild hair" & can intentionally do the exact opposite of what he knows is "appropriate," just for laughs.
A perfect example is if someone has their hands super full & *obviously* needs help.. Then, we/they ask for help, & he'll say: "Absolutely not." Or, "no."
It's a sense of humor he only "shares" with loved ones.. And, when we get offended because it's so inappropriate, he gets all hurt because we don't "get it.."
It's as though he thinks that because we don't get "it.."
We don't get *him* .
Like.. Huh?
Is that a real thing (you've seen) for ESFJ's?
Or, do you think I'm mistyping this person?
Thanks! 😎
ESFJs use Extraverted Intuition (what we call Exploration) as their tertiary function (or what we call the 10 Year Old function). This gives them a fun, playful sometimes wild side element if they let themselves use it and aren't too locked into their auxiliary Introverted Sensing (what we call Memory Copilot). He also may be pulling on his inferior Introverted Thinking (or, Accuracy 3 Year Old), but not have good calibration around when he's gone too far. As a man, he will have been more encouraged to use his thinking function than, say, an ESFJ woman would be.
Or, yes, he could be a different type. When it comes to typology, behaviors can be explained by many systems running.
-A-
Personality Hacker LOL.. Yeah, he's actually said: "I could do *that* (the "proper") thing... But, what's the fun in that?"
I could see that being a 3 yr old Ti thing..
Deep thought & choice crossroads used in a childish & opportunist Ne manner.
He thinks he's an ISFP..
I'm wondering if he's an ENFP or something..
In fact... If he wasn't so "nosy" (lol)... Er, I mean, "concerned" & into birthdays I'd be set on ENFP haha..
Thanks for responding ✌😎
Sounds like an inferior Fe type, an xxTP maybe?
Miss Elle Hmmm.. Yeah. Actually, I can totally see that.
What do you believe is the key clue to whether or not they're Extp or Ixtp?
Thanks!
😎
Can you do a mind wiring video for ESFJ?
first it said I was an istj then said I was intj than the most believable istp but I ultimately conclude I was an intp. Now Im trying to figure out what my crush is between estp enfj or esfj................................................im a stalker..............................im very desprate....................................help me.................................I dont like this feeling. I think not feel at least thats would it said on the test.
Emotionally intelligent people r most effective leaders :) friends with everybody at work through relating sympathising and humour hehe
I cannot tell if I'm an Enfj or Esfj
What about narcissistic esfj?
I am esfj and I want to learn how to not feel under appreciated. And unloved.
Also different tools of communication and getting my needs met, with my intj husband.
This. This. This.
My mother is an ESFJ she gossip and judge people a lot! I am an ENFP so you can imagine my strugle 🙄🙄
MB system new to me. I think ESFJ equates to choleric extrovert dominant and melancholy introvert secondary.
In a fight they will make mince meat out of you as they go for the jugular vein. Mike Tyson,
General George Patton, J. Jonah Jameson from Spiderman.????
I always imagined ESFP'S as cheerleaders (hence the Performer)....not so much ESFJ'S. Example: Ty Lee from Avatar the Last Airbender! Katara is an ESFJ
They're not "underrated", it's that VERY few of them EVER develop that grace enough to say "live and let live". My father was (best deduction) an ESFJ and whoooooooa all we did was butt heads. I literally couldn't be int he room with him for five minutes later on in his life.
They'll let their house burn down around them while they're watching the neighbor through binoculars!
When they're good, they're very very good, but when they're bad, they're horrid. And most of them are horrid! (INTJ)
artisanrox my mom is an esfj too i honestly use to hate her because she wanted to change me she kept telling me how wrong i am to basically be my infp self but after i understood her now i love her i can understand the dos & donts with her but most esfj are really great people but im sorry your father had to be that way that type is most difficult to help because they see that way of behavior as some what justified and acceptable sorta like a dirty cop but its most important to remember that their not all bad and not all of them are the same and each person is unique
"that type is most difficult to help because they see that way of behavior as some what justified and acceptable sorta like a dirty cop"
exactly, that's DEFINITELY why they *can* be the worst.
I'm an ESFJ, and I'm not horrid. Not nosy at all (nosy people make me nuts, especially at work!), not needy, couldn't give a damn about social status, and I'm pretty much a hippie "live and let live" type. I guess I'm an outlier? I do despite people who take advantage of me or take me for granted. Those are my hot buttons.
DanFamSistah Question.. About your "live & let live" style..
What happens if/when you are (or feel) disrespected &/or exploited?
Perhaps it was just your experience? I've had relationships with 2 esfjs. First was kind of cold and definitely controlling (was also borderline Estj) in the sense he liked things his way, gave off the vibe he was always right. I think this had alot to do with the fact he had many bad experiences in life and had trust issues. But now I'm in a relationship with another ESFJ and it's the healthiest and happiest one I've had yet.
Social politics, high/low status
Social rules
Wild past, gossipy
Appropriate
Generosity of spirit
I can't stand this personality type.
wtf. this isn't me. hmmm I'm a mixture of a lot of shit
I think the girl turns her head in the direction of the guy about 163732 times!!! Omg, Stop being so insecure...
Erik iSkogen why is it insecurity if your looking at the person who is talking she is paying attention